Accepting Mediocrity in Motherhood, Marriage, and Faith

Accepting Mediocrity in Motherhood, Marriage, and Faith

Written By Hayden Ritchie From Hippie Hayden

This post is very atypical of my usual kind. But, it is something that has been weighing very heavily in my mind for the past two months or so, that I’ve decided it’s worth sharing with the internet.

There’s a trend in society right now, especially all over social media, to accept mediocrity. Specifically, mediocrity in motherhood, marriage, and faith.

As a younger woman, I’m very troubled by the lack of Titus Two mentorship exhibited or offered by older women, but also by younger women who foolishly brush off seeking wise council or who easily fall prey to ungodly council. I see younger women who DO want to strive for righteousness but are often mocked by seasoned mothers/married women who have accepted mediocrity that “your expectations are too high” or “the higher you place yourself, the harder you will fall” or “just wait till you have kids, then you’ll understand.” There’s a myriad of ungodly excuses I’ve personally heard that are all the more distressing. Yes, there are probably cases where expectations are too high, but better striving for excellence than just okay. After all, the Bible has things to say about striving for excellence.

We’ve got an onslaught of ungodly ideologies and advice hurling itself at us via social media all day. Things like….

• You need booze/wine at the end of every day to tolerate your family/children, when the Bible specifically admonishes older women to instruct the younger to be sober minded.

• It’s perfectly fine if we haven’t done much all day; we’re a mess, the house is a wreck, and the children are running amuck, so long as they’re fed (dry cereal).

• Anything the world offers takes priority over your family.

• Women are incapable of lying, so believe all of them regardless always.

• Gossiping is fine.

• You need all these shiny things to make your life easier and happier or make your kid’s lives easier and happier.

• Being financially irresponsible is cute or funny. Max out those credit cards, girl!

There are many more bullet points I could make but those hit the big ones.

With all that garbage fed to us regularly, we are in desperate need of stable, firm-footed, godly women who are more than willing to point out sin and ungodliness, but also who will encourage those who are striving for excellence and raising a higher bar for themselves and their families. If many older women are falling prey to these wicked ideas, will those of us who are younger fleeing these things have to fend for ourselves?

I’ve watched women I once admired accept and defend ungodly ideologies, practices, and political propaganda only to justify their newfound beliefs without scripture. I’ve watched them fall prey to ungodly “teachers” who preached a false god and now publicly accept these heretics. I’ve watched them slowly morph into something I don’t want to become myself and as a result had to distance myself as necessary. After all, show me your friends’ character and I’ll show you your future.

I recognize without a doubt that people are fallen and will make mistakes. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about women who have turned their back, seemingly so, to everything they once held dear, their first love.

I have a rubric of sorts that helps me identify if an older women is one I want counseling me or someone I want to keep close company with. I also use this to identify whether or not just about any female is sound company. *not in any specific order of importance*

1. Do her (older) children rise and call her blessed? If so, great! If not, why?

2. Does her husband also rise and called her blessed and praise her publicly? Does his heart trust in her? If so, great! If not why?

3. Do her (older) children follow the path in the way they should go and do not seek to depart from it? A sign that they’ve been well-trained and admonished in the Lord? If so, great! If not, why?

4. Does she worry and exude anxiousness? Or is she steady in the sovereignty of the Lord trusting him for the future? If so, great! If not, why?

5. Is she wise financially? Or does she frivolously spend her families hard earned money? Is she materialistic? If no, great! If yes, why?

6. Does she do her family good and not harm? If yes, great! If not, why?

7. Does she manage her home and family affairs well? Or are things in disarray and chaotic? If managed well, great! If not, why?

8. Does she fear the Lord? If yes, great! If not, run.

9. Is her husband sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness? If so, great! If not, why?

10. Does her husband teach what accords with sound doctrine and does she affirm this? If so, great! If not, why?

11. Is she prone to slander, gossip, and drinking too much wine or other alcohol? If no, great! If yes, run.

12. Does she posses a teachable spirit herself? Does she receive instruction/correction with a contrite spirit and quickly ask for forgiveness when necessary?

13. Does she affirm Titus 2:4, 5? If so, great! If not, RUN!

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.”
‭‭Titus‬ ‭2:11-15‬ ‭

We as women, desperately need Godly fellowship and desperately need older women willing to speak boldly over the lies culture speaks, even though they are so far from popular truths.

To those of you who already do this, thank you! Thank you for being steadfast ♥️

7 thoughts on “Accepting Mediocrity in Motherhood, Marriage, and Faith

  1. EXACTLY points I’ve made as well! It’s an attitude of just what makes me happy regardless of who I hurt or inconvenience! I can just divorce and not care my children’s world will crumble. I can them blame THEM when they hurt and punish them, label them as the selfish one, and say they’re in the wrong, not me! I can just neglect my child for my career in the name of radical feminist empowerment! I can gossip and deride my husband all I want behind his back then cry “sexist” if he ever did it to me! I can resent my own progeny and other women applaud me! It’s ALL about me for the radical feminist! Disgusting!!!

  2. This both excited and saddens me. I have so many grand plans for my future children if God chooses to bless me with them. Yet, when I talk about it with women who are already mothers I’m told how naive I am and that my views will change when I have children. They also attempt to discourage me from having children as though they are a curse. Even family members share this view and tell me children ruin marriages. I hope and pray for the steadfastness to be a Godly woman, wife, and someday a mother.

    1. No dear humbled wife! Don’t let anyone steal your joy. You just keep on praying! God is the giver of good gifts. Read Psalm 127 and 128 for encouragement. Motherhood is an honor. Will there be rough days and sleepless nights? Yes, but those times will dim in comparison to the blessings of having children and being a mom.

      It’s a wondrous privilege but also a fearful task to mold a young child toward God. Wondrous in the fact that God gives you these mini replicas to mold and shape. Fearful because they are little sponges soaking up every word and action. That’s the blessing and also the warning. Those parents who view children as a curse have been the ones to mold their children that way. They are squandering their precious gifts. I’m sending a big hug to you! Listen to the Word and what God says about children, not these other people. Be encouraged 🙂

    2. Don’t listen to fools. Children aren’t the ones ruining marriage. Leave it to the Feminists to blame children for their folly. LOL Statistically, childless marriages are far more likely to end in divorce.

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