For the past six years, I have published a post almost every day. I love writing, researching, and mentoring women in the ways of godly womanhood. The past few days, my viral post has gone viral again and a few other posts have as well. As of right now, my Facebook page has received two and a half million hits. I want to discuss one of the posts that has gone viral since I am being accused of promoting marital rape from this post:
I believe in God’s Word. I want to live in obedience to it; for it is the least I can do. God commands us to not deprive our spouse sexually in 1 Corinthians 7:5 so I teach women to not deprive their husbands sexually. Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control (1 Corinthians 7:5). This isn’t marital rape. God doesn’t say that husbands should force their wives to have sex. He commands the wives to not deprive their husbands and husbands not to deprive their wives for lack of self-control.
This is teaching women to lovingly serve their husbands and submit to them. We reap what we sow. If we sow love and good-will towards our husbands, we will most likely reap love and good-will from them. There is nothing evil about this. Plus, I only teach women, therefore, every single thing you read on my blog and Facebook page is geared towards women.
Most women, unfortunately, are in rebellion to the Lord’s ways. They want to go their own way and do their own thing. They don’t want anyone to tell them what to do, especially as it concerns their husbands because they are supposedly liberated. Liberated from what? Being good, cheerful, and loving wives?
“Normally some 86 percent of all divorces in America are initiated by wives, with not over 14 percent initiated by husbands…It seems certain that the greatest single cause of unhappiness in homes and of divorce is rebellion on the part of the wife…Wives cannot win their husband either for the Lord or for themselves if they do not learn to submit to their husbands and obey them. Real godliness in a Christian woman will enable her to do what God has required of her – yielding submission and loving obedience to her husband.” (Dr. John Rice)
Submission isn’t forced. Not depriving our husbands of sex is not forced. Obedience to the Lord and to our husbands isn’t forced. They are given freely and in love. If Christ asks us to carry our cross and be willing to even die for Him, the least we can do is to be sacrificially willing to make our husbands happy by not depriving them sexually.
It’s a choice we make. “Where the will goes, the heart will follow. God will help any woman’s heart to love her husband if she will turn her will to the obedience which God commands…Wives, love your husbands; and if that seems hard, obey them, and let God put love in your hearts.
“Let the wife see that she makes home happy. What God requires is not a cold and austere obedience. What husbands want is not the meticulous service of a slave. A husband wants devotion, wants sincere heart desire to please and make him happy. The wife whose love is often spoken and always shown by her service, the normal and proper need of admiration and praise and deference to the head of the home, will find her cares richly repaid.
“Wife, is it hard to love your husband? You loved him once! You found then certain qualities of mind, certain attractive ways that seemed to you irresistible. And if you let him go, some other woman will find him just as attractive and brave and wonderful as once you thought him. Why not let him be your lover? Why not forgive the wrong, forget the past, and set out to love where you ought to love? God will make home sweet, and love will blossom again, when Christians do right.” (Dr. John Rice)
This is God’s perfect plan for us, women. Yes, it’s completely foreign to most Christian women today, since they don’t study the Bible for themselves and they don’t have older women who are obeying Titus 2:4, 5: teaching the younger women to love and obey their husbands. These are God’s instructions to you. They are not mine; they are God’s. If you refuse to obey them, you will not enjoy the blessings on your life that God has for you such as peace, joy, and a good marriage. Choose God’s ways.
Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5, 6