Fatherlessness is Destroying Our Country

Fatherlessness is Destroying Our Country

Yesterday, I tweeted this: “The fatherless shooters among us: Of the 27 deadliest mass shooters, 26 were fatherless. It’s NOT gun issue. It’s a ‘lack of fathers’ issue. Despite popular opinion, children need their fathers just as much as they need their mothers.’

One woman asked for the source of this quote. I posted the article for her. Here is an eye-opening comment from the article: “Indeed, there is a direct correlation between boys who grow up with absent fathers and boys who drop out of school, who drink, who do drugs, who become delinquent and who wind up in prison,” she writes. “And who kill their classmates.”

Most of you are aware of the terrible gang violence and murders happening in Chicago, right? Did you know that most of the gang members were raised without fathers? Do you know that most of the men in prison for violent crimes were raised without fathers?

Here’s a comment I found under this article: “I’ve been telling America this since Springfield. But America is a Feminist Nation, and she refuses to hear ANYTHING that might point to the U.S. destruction of masculinity and fatherhood over the past half-century as the cause of most of your nation’s woes. The very intentional destruction of both. You want a nation of Holy Empowered Females, and of males as second-class citizens? Sow, reap, baby. This is only the beginning.”

Feminism has left mass destruction in its wake! They shout, “It’s only about ‘equality’” but it’s not true. I see it every day from comments left on my social media sites; the many women who hate men and want to blame men on all of their problems. But it’s women who have left their marriages, children, and homes in droves. They initiate 80 percent of the divorces then get half of what their husbands owns and makes. They leave their children in the care of others while they go off to pursue their “dreams.” Their homes are left empty all day long since they refuse to be “keepers at home” because feminism convinced them that home was bondage.

The end result: broken children and a broken society. Strong cultures are built upon strong families. Feminism has dramatically weakened the fabric of our nation. Yet, women want more, so they continue to fight for their “rights” (to murder their own babies in their wombs on taxpayer money!).

Stop the crazy destructive cycle, women. Feminism is a lie! Stay married to the husband of your youth. The greatest gift you can give your children is to love their daddy deeply. Be a keeper at home, bear children, and care full time for those precious children the Lord has given you. Teach them daily the ways of the Lord to combat the lies they will be told. Don’t allow Satan to destroy your home and family!

And He shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers, lest I come and smite the earth with a curse.
Malachi 4:6

41 thoughts on “Fatherlessness is Destroying Our Country

  1. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that’s the only reason, but in a number of ways fatherless has degraded our society! A generating of embittered women and weak men without proper male role models! We need men who were raised to be the man by a man who would never tolerate such violence in his community. Rather than run and hide …

  2. Furthermore, if we purport to being followers of Christ, it *cannot* be a firearm issue.

    If we love Christ, we are to follow His commandments. Jn 14:15.
    We are *commanded* to be armed. Lk 22:36.
    (Many ‘Christians’ are very comfortable with all of Scripture that deals with love, but uncomfortable with Scripture that deals with discipline.)

    The illness is in the heart of man. Ez 16:30, Je 17:9, Mk 7:21.
    Guard your heart. Pr 4:23.

  3. Heartbreaking topic. So true.

    My sons grew up without their father so I’ve experienced this first hand. Thankfully they have never been violent or in any kind of trouble. But there are other deep emotional scars, of which they openly speak about. It is a terrible pain as a mother to know my ignorance of the God ordained ways of family contributed to this. I was not a Christian when I married and had my sons. I operated in the ways of the world. There are consequences!

    I also think fatherless homes has resulted in the high prevalence of gay males. Take a look. Nearly all gay males have no father and an aggressive, independent, feminist mother.
    Smh…so sad. Praying for these young men.

    1. The breakdown of the family, Dana, leads to the breakdown of nations as we are presently seeing. Yes, it’s very sad but we must continue to walk on the old paths that God has ordained for us since it is the only path that leads to life!

  4. Hello again Lori, I hope you are having a wonderful day.
    I am saddened to say that I will no longer be a reader of your blog as my husband has brought to my attention the dangers of a woman teaching others. It is obvious from your posts that you strive to be a good Christian woman (and I believe you are one), yet the blog itself may be misguided. The Lord in His Wisdom created man to guide and lead, and woman to uplift and submit to man’s guidance. Just like the reasons for women being unable to become preachers, women are easily tempted and swayed to falsehoods, and therefore cannot reliably give guidance to others (as Eve was deceived, yet Adam was not). This is why woman’s place is in the home and we are meant to be silently upholding God’s Will as wives and mothers. If we are to lead at all, it should be through quiet example. My husband reminded me of this and of course he is right. My husband is a wonderful Christian man and a excellent leader of our family, and he admires the sacrifices we make as women for our families, so this is not meant to be any disrespect towards women. If a woman has questions about her role, she should consult His Word directly or listen to the advice of her spiritual leader, and of course pray. We must remember to be meek and avoid being opinionated, as our role is to follow. I am writing this to honor my husband as he has assured me of its importance. As women, we must be careful not to claim to know the meaning of His Word (even when directly referencing the bible), as we were not created to advise, but to listen. My husband has reminded me of this and asked me to pass it on, so that we may better understand our role. Thank you so much for reading.

    1. I am teaching what God has commanded older to teach younger women, Christina, from Titus 2:

      3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

      4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

      5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

      However, every woman should compare what I teach to the Word of God. I only teach woman and I teach them biblical womanhood. Yes, I sometimes give my opinions since I have the experience and wisdom of being married almost 39 years and raising children to adulthood that younger women don’t have, but if your husband doesn’t want you learning biblical womanhood from an older woman, you need to obey him!

      1. Hi Lori, I agree with you speaking out against this. Women have to teach women. Cristina does have to obey her husband so we will leave it there for her. When men teach of this topic the women should listen but women don’t listen they just think men are telling them what to do. It does say in Titus 2:3-5 older women are to teach the younger women so I think you are doing the right thing. I speak about this myself. I’m glad someone is speaking out about it. My heart has been breaking for this issue for many years. God bless your ministry Lori.

      2. I’m so thankful for your blog and everything you teach. You have really been a mentor for me. Like Dana above, I didn’t understand the ways of God in place for women in my youth, and I married young a man who lacked character and godliness. I wish I had been taught by older women what you teach, just as it says in Titus 2. Please continue to teach it! That marriage ended in divorce, sadly, and like Dana, my children have scars and we have been to pastoral and Christian counseling for years. It is still a death we die daily, and the scars remain. I am now remarried to a godly man who wants me to stay home, and I have struggled to stay home and be a full-time mother instead of working like I did in the past until I recently found your blog and ordered your book. The words of God you speak has been a healing salve to my soul and has helped me to understand how living as the world does instead of how God teaches led to my problems. I feel certain if I had this wisdom, I never would have married the first time, or I would have been able to struggle through it with a lot of prayer and support like what is found here. Thank you for teaching the Word.

      3. Lori, I could be wrong but I get the feeling that Christina is trolling you. As you noted, older women are specifically told in Scripture (Titus 2) to teach younger women.

        Nevertheless, I also agree Christina should obey her husband in this regard. If he doesn’t want her to read this blog, she should follow his leadership.

        I would not, however, change what you’re doing. From what I understand, your husband takes an active role in reviewing and even helping (on occasion) write your posts, and that’s wise in my opinion.

    2. I see no issue with her teaching other women biblical womanhood. She isn’t teaching behind a pulpit, she isn’t teaching men, and she isn’t even teaching deep theological topics. Titus 2 is clear what older women are suppose to be teaching.

      1. Not to be rude to anyone here, but why are men reading and commenting on this blog? Lori has stated that her mission is to teach younger women, and yet men are participating freely. I feel like if we women were all sitting together learning from Lori in person, the men in this forum would not come and sit down with us and give their input. Men commenting on these posts makes me feel odd, because it is very much a women’s study to me, and I don’t feel totally at ease knowing they may respond to a question I have that I want answered only by Lori as an experienced wife or other ladies here.

        I understand that men too need to know what to look for in a godly wife, but shouldn’t they be learning that from another man?

        1. Hi Anne,

          I don’t have any rules that men can’t read and comment on my blog. There’s nothing in the Bible that tells us that women can’t learn from men.

          There aren’t many men teaching biblical womanhood, unfortunately. It would be fine for husbands to come and listen to an older woman teach their wives biblical womanhood and even ask questions. They have every right to know what their wives and daughters are learning.

          My husband often comments and even writes posts every once in a while. I actually enjoy reading some men’s input and opinions. It is, however, far more women who read and comment on my blog. I have seen the statistics, and every one who comes to read what I write knows full well that I am writing for women due to the topics I discuss.

        2. Perhaps you are struggling with this concept because your paradigm- as it appears- is that women should learn from women, and men should learn from men. This separation is not God’s design.

          A woman is always to be under the authority of a man (1 Co 11:5). As it pertains to spiritual leadership directly, a daughter to learn from her father (Ep 5:23), a wife to learn from her husband (1 Co 14:35).

          It is man who was given discernment as a tool for leadership, women not so (1 Ti 2:14). (Her role in Creation is different, and has been given different tools to accomplish her role.) This is further evidenced in the world via science in that women very rarely exhibit behavior higher than 3 on Kohlberg’s stages of moral development.

          (1 Ti 2:14 is actually a good starting point for understanding why women teaching women absent of men can be dangerous in a woman’s theological growth: apostate messages from your false prophets like your Moore’s and your Hollis’es spread like wildfire- unchecked by firm biblical understanding that men- sometimes- provide.)

          So then what is the value of Tt 2:4? An elderly woman (in Jewish tradition, over 60 with grandchildren) is in a unique position to demonstrate, through both experience and as a messenger who is a fellow-female, that ‘it is ok, young ladies, to submit to your husbands, to raise your children’ as they have ‘gone before’ them and can settle the anxiety in the young female heart.

          What has not been addressed yet is the value of men- at large- commenting on a blog aimed to women- at large. The Bible instructs fathers to lead the home, husbands to lead the wives: these are specific men in the lives of specific women. As it pertains to men at large? Well, what is good for the goose is good for the gander: male discernment exists just as much at the individual level as at the societal level.

          NOTE: every word shared here by both men and fellow seasoned ladies (per Tt 2) should always be checked against the spiritual guidance of the father of the family, or the husband of the wive. They are the earthly authority for women- not the local pastor, the radio sermon, the female author, the male blogger-commenter.

          Lori moderates her blog fairly heavily, as she knows- being such a Tt 2 seasoned woman- what messages from men might come across as ‘overbearing’ to the fragile heart and mind of her fellow women. This curation is done fairly well, in my estimation, and the results speak for themselves.

          As a footnote: God built checks and balances into the Order between men and women. And just as grown men are to lead grown women in the Word, young mothers are to raise young boys in the Word (1 Co 11:12, Pr 22:6). God’s Order has perfect symmetry when viewed properly through the correct lens.

          1. Thank you, Brian! I have allowed some inappropriate comments on my blog in the past (which I hadn’t read thoroughly before publishing them) and women have let me know. I then quickly delete them. It’s difficult to keep up with all of the comments coming to me from all different directions but I have been trying much harder to be more diligent about what goes on this blog.

  5. I couldn’t agree more! We are a family of 6, 2 boys, 2 girls. I cant imagine where they would be without their father! Sometimes he may discipline a little harsher than I’d like but for as much as he disciplines he compliments, praises, playes, coaches and loves them all the more. I’m thankful that my boys have a father with integrity, honesty, hard work, faith and pride of manhood to teach and lead them in the way they should go!

  6. I consider myself a fatherless daughter. My father divorced my mother and remarried. Please understand that there are a lot of women out there who became single mothers against their wills, and my Mom was one of them. Dad was still VERY involved, and he showed up at every school function, every extra event, every church event, you name it, he was there. He did not shirk his fatherly responsibilities in that regard. He also kept parenting issues between himself and my mother; he did not involve my stepmom in that, and my stepmom respected that. We all got along and were polite. The one feature of our upbringing, though, was severe discipline and very little warmth and love. Oh, we behaved! We didn’t dare not. We were silent and respectful. We knew we had to earn love. Love was represented by a word of terse approval when we accomplished what was desired, and through gifts at birthdays and Christmas….always budget-friendly, practical gifts; we were allowed to make lists and present them to our parents, and they would choose one gift from that list. I always wanted to be hugged and held, but my father didn’t do things like that. My husband really loves our girls, and I like watching him with them. He’s a great Dad. I would have liked a Dad like my husband. It’s not as easy as you might think to embrace the Fatherhood of almighty God, because there isn’t anybody physically there. It’s all abstract and it’s hard, especially for a kid. Even as an adult, He feels very, very far away and you have to really do a lot of work to embrace it. I have to keep a crucifix around my neck for something to physically hold on to so that it becomes real for me. I wish I could be like Gianna Jessen in the way she’s able to fully embrace the Fatherhood of God in such an incredible way….maybe I’ll get there someday, too.

  7. I find myself having to comment here. This article is spot on, but makes one glaring omission. Widows. (And women who are righteous and been abandoned qualify here too, if I am correct.) God has promised to be the Father to the orphans, and the Husband to the widows. Statistically widows’ sons do as well as children who have fathers. God reminded me in the hospital room, as I was hearing the awful news that at the tender ages of 5-14 my children(4 of them sons) were now “fatherless,” that He would be our help and strength, that He was the Father to the fatherless, and the Husband to the widow. And He has indeed been faithful.
    But I have found, as I encourage other widows with that promise, that many have never heard that. Even a 70 yr old Sunday school teacher hadn’t heard that until 4 years after she was widowed. And I think I have yet to see an article on fatherlessness (read lots of them these last 6 years), where that promise was mentioned. As I am sure there are a good many widows reading your blog this may be a helpful thing to point out. I know even I, as a woman who had an incredibly good teacher as a husband, and therefore I know the Word rather well, am tempted to be discouraged, and often cry bc of what my children go through without a father.
    Thanks for the blog!

    1. In my lifetime, I have seen a HUGE difference between sons of those fathers who have passed away and those whose parents got divorced. All of my widowed sons have grown up to be amazing men. They weren’t abandoned by their fathers and didn’t have to endure the conflict between the parents that divorce produces. It’s a much different situation, Hope, and I agree with you!

  8. It’s a simple but uncomfortable fact that the overwhelming majority of fatherlessness is the fault of the mother.

    Either because of fornication where ‘surprise, surprise’ having had his fun the man is happy to absolve himself of responsibility for the result which he blames the mother for because she should have used birth control. OR because of the divorce which results from the wife’s inability to submit to her husband.

    1. Hmmmm…..I had to think about this for a moment. Because of course its true that many many women are the culprit. We see it all the time.

      But was this the case in my own divorce?

      At first glance, absolutely not.
      My children’s father was repeatedly unfaithful and I forgave him many times. I told myself I could stick it out no matter what for the sake of my sons.

      HOWEVER, in the end, it was I who initiated the divorce because I was told, and agreed with, that I didn’t NEED a husband who treated me like this. I had a good job which was more than sufficient to support me and my sons. I was capable and independent. Why would I put up with it?

      Even though the husband had already left us and was living with his girlfriend, he STRONGLY objected to the divorce!

      Looking at this situation through a Scriptural lens, the case can be made, that yes he committed adultery.
      But I was also not a keeper of the home and I had bought into all the feminist hype about what I deserved and that I didn’t need a man!

      So, there you go!

      When both husbands and wives are living outside Gods Word for us, this is what we can expect!

    2. Totally agreed, Susanne. This is a great observation that seems to be rarely stated. Fornication produces fatherlessness. Yes, men can certainly say no {Joseph repeatedly refused the seductions of Potiphar’s wife in Genesis 39, for instance}, but women also should not tempt men. Men and women need to repent, obey God, and thus avoid continued production of fatherless children.

      1. Dana – I know what I said was controversial, it was intended to be because this is a (largely) women’s conversation and I believe that women need to face the facts. What is wonderful is that from your last paragraph it is clear that God has moved you into the understanding that when we as women go against his plan for us, we are in sin (as clearly was your husband) and that our sin leads to predictable results.

        Lady Virtue – she I agree he should say ‘no’ but she should not deliberately tempt him and she should always say NO.

        Fornication obviously leads directly to fatherless children,, but by being promiscuous and not keeping herself pure for marriage every woman undermines and weakens that institution and the commitment her future husband will have to her.

    3. “she should have used birth control”

      Oof! No, she should not have been involved sexually in the first place if not married to the man. Birth control is a strawman argument, and also a sin: actively working against the commandment to multiply (Ge 1:28).

      1. Brian – I completely agree. I meant that the irresponsible man fornicating with the promiscuous woman would blame her for getting pregnant because he would expect her to use contraception, or worse to prevent a child.

        Of course they should not be fornicating in the first place, she should be keeping herself for her husband and no woman should be using contraception which is as you say a further sin.

  9. As a young wife I have been learning so much from your blog. My marriage is forever changed and I love that you speak the word and move on, it leads room for the Holy Spirit to come in and mold based off what’s been implanted. May God bless you and keep you strong.

    1. Those children still knew they had fathers. They weren’t being torn apart through divorce like many are today, plus many don’t even know who their fathers are due to promiscuity.

      1. Children whose fathers were at war knew all about Daddy. His pictures were always there, and they knew Daddy was helping keep not only them, but everyone in the country safe. Daddy was protecting them in a different way. And the mothers made sure the children knew who he was, even if he was killed. She made sure they wrote letters to him.

        There was a movie that came out some months ago, and I can’t remember the name, but I saw the preview. It was produced, I think, by the same company that did Fireproof and Courageous and War Room — anybody remember the title? The jist was centered around divorces that were filed by spouses of the deployed, and a family that was in crisis because the husband was overseas or something like that — anyway, I was thinking about how many marriages stayed strong during WW2. It was even worse then, a global conflict and atrocities such as had never been seen before, but nobody got divorced (we do know that brothels abounded and there was plenty of infidelity and out of wedlock children in the wake of the War, but divorce was RARE.)

        Everybody in that era saw beyond their own petty selves, though. Yes, the women went to work, but they went to work because the men were at war, and somebody had to keep the machines running so the War could be won. The kids did scrapmetal, paper and rubber drives and sold war bonds. Everyone was in this together, and the sacrifices you had to make seemed nothing in comparison to supporting the fighting troops and praying for victory. What happened? No, don’t answer that question; we already know the answer. It’s too depressing.

        Did anybody see that movie, and does anybody remember the title or anything like that (I can’t remember at all)? I think the trailer was in the theatres when “Unplanned” was showing.

  10. Dear Lori
    I also think a big problem is men that are in their homes often neglect the children and the wife because they are always working and have other activities they like to do. They are home but their mind and body are far from it. Women are made to be mothers and nurture the home. There is no way a woman can take the place of a father that is absent while being home. I think this would also be considered fatherless . I do think she should pray and ask God to help heal her home and be a godly example to her family. But I still think this is a problem that causes some children to rebel.

  11. Good post. The liberal media will never share this kind of thing. Thank you for bringing up the equal importance of fathers and mothers.

  12. Hi Lori
    I had sent a comment on this post several days ago I hope it wasn’t offensive to you I have had several sisters divorced and their husbands were there physically but Did not have much to do with them and it affected their families greatly if the post was offensive I apologize I don’t expect this one posted either.

    1. Hi Karla,

      I don’t recall your comment but even having husbands who support the family financially and come home every night is HUGE to children! Never discount this. Some men must work long hours and some are not involved like your sisters’ husbands. My dad sure worked long hours and wasn’t involved with us much but knowing I had a dad who came home every night, is a TON of security for children. Divorce will affect those children a whole lot more than their father not having much to do with them or being around much.

  13. Lori, I read an intersting post by a mother who said: “Ladies, it’s up to us to get our teenage sons JOBS and WiVES and if we don’t, they will absolutely go crazy and start murdering people. Men need work, and they need wives, or they go crazy. Women have ensured this happened for thousands of years because it’s we and our children who suffer from male violence”

    And mothers also need to ensure that their sons have FATHERS and GOD in their lives.

    How will the USA turn away from Feminist evil and return to the path of marriage, nation, and God? I don’t know. But we have no choice.

  14. My husband preached about the fatherless problem on Father’s Day this year. He is not the pastor of our church, his dad is, and that is what he wanted for Father’s Day haha.
    My husband prayed for many weeks on this and really felt the Holy Spirit leading him in the same direction over and over. The problem is not the lack of fathers. The problem is OUR lack of our Heavenly Father. He didn’t leave us, we left Him. And he is always calling back His sons and daughters, and as we turn back to Him He will begin restoring the strength to be good fathers (and mothers, and the family unit).
    It’s easy to post blame on many different things and issues: fathers, mothers, feminism, culture, etc. But we who truly believe and seek know NONE of that is the real issue. The real issue is the lack of believing in the one who died and rose again and called us to die daily to our flesh and pick up our cross.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *