Higher Paying Careers Make it Harder for Women to Be Home Full Time
Are there ways that younger wives can help prevent their husbands from asking them to leave their homes and children in the care of others to make money? Fran wrote a great comment on my post asking the questions if wives can disobey their husbands if they ask them to work outside of the home:
“I’d say that at most, a wife whose husband demands she work could seek out creative ways to supplement income from home, and then work to save money by keeping a very tight budget. Then go to her husband and make a rational case that what she saves by producing a small income from home and not having to spend money for gas, daycare, a second car, meals out, etc., is more than worth it. I think this would be extra challenging for a woman with a larger income (doctor, lawyer, engineer) to make the same case, but even then, there are creative ways to work remotely, part-time, do consulting, etc. I think you are right that cultivating the home as a sanctuary is key.”
Throughout my years, I have known women who were doctors or had other professions that required a lot of schooling, time, money, debt, and energy to achieve. Once they had children, they wanted to be home full time with their children but they couldn’t because either they were still paying off the debt and/or they couldn’t justify all of the time spent in pursuing their careers to give it all up to be home with their children.
This is why I will NEVER advise that a young woman whose desire is to be a wife and mother pursue a career such as these. These careers actually are the only reason one needs a college education since most other women graduate with a degree that they will never use. Yes, teaching doesn’t take nearly as many years but the cost to get a credential these days can be too high for the amount of debt one will accumulate from it.
Another thing that happens with women in high money-making careers is that their husbands don’t want their wives to give up their lucrative careers, thus the women are forced to stay in them and miss raising their own children which is a shame. I don’t care how many women tell me they want female doctors, these doctors’ children need them a lot more than these women do. Besides, many women will continue to pursue higher education and these types of jobs so there will always be female doctors but for godly women who want to raise their own children, this isn’t a career they should pursue.
Women pursuing these careers are also taking these jobs away from men who need them! In talking to one man who is in medical school, more than 50% of the students are women and all but one of the top ten students in the class are women. This is awful, in my opinion. I know this from reading that women are much less reliable in these positions since they want to be home when their children are sick and they miss more work time because of pregnancy, birth, and recovery, whereas men don’t have any of these issues.
Lastly, women feel much more comfortable divorcing their husbands when they make good money. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s good for women to depend upon men for their protection and provision. It’s the way the Lord created them to be. Women are the nurturers and homemakers and men are the providers and protectors in God’s perfect plan.
Unless a woman is a doctor or some other profession that makes a lot of money, it makes little sense for her to leave home for work. It’s much better for her to learn to live simply and carefully within her husband’s income. Therefore, warn young women who want to go into these high earning professions of this fact. If they want to be home full time with their children, it’s best for them to not pursue this career direction.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14
7 thoughts on “Higher Paying Careers Make it Harder for Women to Be Home Full Time”
The other day I was listening to a sermon in which the pastor said two young ladies came to him expressing their desire to be at home, but couldn’t because of their jobs and the debt they had. He said they were both crying because they felt trapped and stuck, like they could not escape. It broke his heart. 🙁
I also agree with your point that men are being deprived of these high earning jobs when women train for and obtain them. It seems many employers favor women over men these days. {I actually lost the first OB-GYN I had because she quit her practice when she had a baby.} There is so much training and expense that goes into being a doctor or attorney, but no return on investment if you’re only going to quit a few years later. It just doesn’t seem worth it…and it’s definitely not worth it to miss out on being an help meet for your husband and rearing your children.
I have met too many young mothers who are unable to stay home with their babies because of their debt! It’s tragic and these are Christian women. They aren’t being taught the value of having and raising children by the older women in the churches. They have been brainwashed to pursue the same goals our culture pursues and children suffer.
There’s a great book called Beside Every Successful Man: A Woman’s Guide to Having It All by Megan Basham which cites studies that men whose wives stay at home earn more because they have that support and their home life is taken care of. So I would encourage any women who are worried about losing their income to take that into consideration. They can serve a higher purpose staying at home, saving money, supporting and encouraging their husbands to achieve success in his career, and taking care of the home and family.
That sounds like a great book, JoAnne! Yes, when couples follow God’s clearly defined roles, there is order and peace. It makes both of their lives easier!
My husband works in a very male-dominate field (he is a lineman) and yet most of the supervisors are women because the company tries to equal out the ratio. It is very foolish because you have women who cannot and have not done the work trying to tell the men who are out there what to do.
I agree with Lori 100%. I worked for a very brief time and the time away from my kids was terrible. There is no money that can give you those small moments that a true stay at home mom gets…
Not everyone may agree with this, but my parents encouraged me to go to college/study/practice something that was a hobby to me. Not necessarily my greatest strength, but what I enjoyed most and would probably do my whole life, even if I was a mother and not working at a paid job. The reasons I think this was an excellent idea are 1) young unmarried women can be paid for doing their hobby before they are married! 2) you can often be your own boss, work your own hours, charge whatever you see fit 3) it will always be a source of enjoyment and 4) if need be, you can run it as a small business while being a mother (if your family needs money/husband asks). For example, tutoring, sewing, music, arts/crafts, photography, design, cooking, child care, writing, gardening, hair/makeup woodworking, etc. These are all hobbies that could be monetized if need be, but otherwise are handy and fun, and you probably indulge in them anyways if you have time.
My husband told me about an article he read talking about how women who watched ‘s*x and the city’ 20 years ago were led to believe they could have it all, a career, several partners and one night stands, and they could marry and have maybe one or two kids without compromising their careers later in life. And now, 20 years later most of those female viewers are now middle aged and are struggling to find a longterm boyfriend let alone a husband. And they are feeling ripped off and lied to. So I said to my husband feminists will mock our beliefs and claim they know better, but when they are old and still unmarried. They finally work out we were right after all. They always learn things the hard way. I pray that will never be said of us, that we always learned things the hard way.