Several years ago, I wrote up a flow chart asking if mothers should have careers? I decided to repost it on December fourth. I have been asked for a statement about this post from numerous “news” outlets, magazines, and sites. My statement has been something like this: “I am an older woman teaching Christian women biblical womanhood as according to Titus 2:3-5 in the Bible. One of the things God commands older women to teach young women is to be ‘keepers at home’ so this is what I do. No one can replace a mother in a child’s life. Children need and want their mothers home full time.”
Most of the articles written about this post have titles about me shaming working mothers. Is it my purpose to shame working mothers? NO! My purpose is to teach young women what God has commanded I teach them. The majority of women can’t do it all – working full time and investing enough time into their children’s and husband’s lives. I sure couldn’t. I was a career woman for the first two years of my first daughter’s life and all those things stated on the left side of this flow chart were true for me. I would come home each day and collapse on the couch from exhaustion. I had little to no energy to give to my daughter nor my husband.
No, life as a full-time mother isn’t perfect either but for a godly woman who is growing in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord, the right side is a good standard for her to shoot for. For one thing, it is true that she is home all day IF she isn’t involved with a lot of things outside of her home. Secondly, she hopefully is with her children all day since this is God’s ideal for raising children. This is why He wants believers in Him to be keepers at home. It takes time, energy, and effort to raise godly offspring!
Almost every day, my children were in their beds or bedrooms between 1:00 – 3:00 p.m. I trained them to do this and it was great! If they were older, they would spend this time reading. If I was pregnant or nursing, I would use this time to take a nap but almost always, I would use it to rest and have some quiet time of my own.
Since I am a “health nut,” I made sure to make most of my food from scratch. Was I perfect in this area? No, but it sure was a lot easier when I was home full time rather than working full time and having to come home and make meals for my family. Eating healthy has always been important to me. I tried to give my family the best food that I could.
While being home all day, I would spend a lot of the time teaching and training my children. I wanted them to know right from wrong. It was most important to me that they knew the Word of God and what He has to say about everything especially about who they are in Christ. It’s a full-time job! I would read to them but I didn’t play a lot of games with them since I was so sick most of their childhood, unfortunately. I would sit outside in front and watch them play often. They loved this!
I didn’t have to spend the weekends cleaning the house and shopping since I could do this throughout the week and any time I wanted to do it. As your children get older, train them to help with the housework and cleaning up after themselves. Mothers are the only ones who will most likely train their children to do this. There’s so much time and energy needed in raising an eternal soul to not only know right from wrong and have self-control, but all the wonderful ways of the Lord.
I wasn’t nearly as exhausted when I was home full time since I could rest several hours during the day, therefore, I could enjoy intimacy with my husband more often. Working full time was such a drain on me. I know that some of you have no choice and some have husbands who want you to work but to these mothers, I encourage you to continue seeking the Lord in prayer, give Him all of your concerns, lay them at His feet, and know that NOTHING is impossible with Him.
Finally, I know many working mothers personally and I love them. I do feel badly for their children and would love for them to be home full time with their children but I don’t ever lecture them about it. If they ask, I will share my opinions on the subject (but most of them know because of this blog). Each woman and each couple needs to decide how to live their lives. I just want Christian women to ponder their path. Most have never been taught to be home full time with their children. It is frowned upon in today’s culture and “boring” to many.
“What do you do?” Most homemakers are embarrassed when asked this question. “Oh, I am just a homemaker.” Making money is not the be all and end all in life. Besides, if most mothers would sit down and figure how much they actually bring home each month, they may find out that it is not that much and it would be better to live more frugally within their husband’s income.
No, my purpose is never to shame women. My purpose is to try and convict and challenge those who say they are Christians to measure their lives by the Word of God since we know that His ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect! He’s our Creator. Of course, they would be!
My goal in starting this blog wasn’t to be popular and infamous. My husband told me my goal should be to get 100 likes on Facebook when I began and I thought this would be an impossible feat. I wasn’t a good writer but I was passionate about biblical womanhood and I loved to teach. No, I don’t boost my posts to get more traffic and I make no money from blogging. The only way something goes viral (that I have found) is if it hits a nerve and three of my posts have done this. It was never my intention to go viral and be infamous. I have simply been doing what God asks of “aged women” like me.
My only goal in writing for this blog is to teach Christian women biblical womanhood and that’s it. I do my best and leave the results in the Lord’s hands whether I have 10 people who read what I write or many thousands. I want Christian women to know that they don’t have to go along with the flow of culture. “To be a Christian is to stand upon convictions that transcend fans, fame, and followers. Being a Christian is about allegiance to Jesus Christ and His unchanging Word (Hebrews 13:8).” (Costi Whinn)
I receive letters almost daily from women telling me of their regret from their college debt thus their inability to stay home with their children or how their marriages have improved since obeying God by submitting to their husband’s leadership. God’s Word never comes back void and for this, I am thankful. Thank you for all of you who send me messages that you are praying for me and your kind notes of encouragement. I do appreciate them greatly.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14
She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
***Due to the volume of emails, private messages, and comments on my blog that I am receiving, you will have to be patient and I may not answer or publish all of them especially if I have written about the topic numerous times like the Proverbs 31 woman being a “career woman.” I am mostly ignoring comments on my Facebook at this time but I do have moderators working on it when they have time. Many comments won’t be even seen by any of us moderators because there are so many. It’s my desire that no vile or contentious comments be allowed but this isn’t always possible.