This post was written by Cherie Schadler and was a comment she left on my post Going Against the Titus Two Mandate.
My heart has always been at home but my husband is developmentally challenged, so I built a family business that allowed me to be at home or on the road with my family. My husband holds odd jobs to fill in the gaps. We homestead and I home schooled. I was my son’s teacher (who is also developmentally challenged), I ran the family business (most of it), I took care of my elderly parents, I was a musician and singer with my husband at church, we served together in the Boy Scouts of America and we were our son’s leaders. I built my life with my family and I tried to do everything I could to include our son from early on allowing him to use his talents as often as he could so he would feel like he was contributing as we were. We traveled and home schooled in the van, the motel, in a tent, and at home. He was always with me and never had a sitter except my mom until she passed when he was nine years old. We were not financially well off.
My husband, son, and I make most of what we wear or use, and we cook everything from scratch and we don’t eat out. We have one family vehicle that my husband takes most of the time to do his odd jobs. I always deeply desired to be the full-time stay-at-home wife and mom. This was the best I could do because my husband needed my help and I needed to be there for both of them. We made far less then everyone else and we have struggled financially all of our married life (34 years). I live in an area where we moved to almost 30 plus years ago to be in a rural, conservative, Bible believing area.
Over the years, most of those who homesteaded gave it up for a convenient lifestyle and found jobs and went inside to air-conditioning and T.V. Women went to work and gave up sewing, canning, etc. Then, just south of us, and then all around us, wealthy homes popped up and the culture here developed around casinos. We are now oddballs for my being first and foremost a wife, mother, and homemaker and then a family business owner. We are also oddballs because we homestead in a place that long ago gave it up (but was settled by their grandparents who were homesteaders). I am 60 years old now and I am a conservative, Christian woman who’s greatest desire is for taking care of my family first and foremost in the home. I cannot retire. As my husband gets older, his issues get worse.
My son is now a graduate from college and university. He’s going on to his masters. I home schooled him from pre-K – 12th grade. He finished both college and university on the President’s list and his good grades earned him several scholarships that caused him to finish with absolutely no debt at all, in fact, it was almost like he was paid to go to college. The Lord has so blessed my commitment to stay as true as possible to the plan to be his mom first and then run the family business third; we are just blown away by the results. I cried, yelled, carried on because I wanted to give it up so often and put him in school and just go to work. But now, we are a bonded family. We work together, we play worship music together at the church, we learn together, we minister together, and we homestead together. We are a team.
If I could right at this moment have the choice or go back and have the choice from the beginning all over again – if I could have – I would have been a stay-at-home wife and mom. My greatest rewards come from the feeling of doing what I can to serve the Lord in my family. I have had many accolades – been on stages with a thousand people in the audience applauding me, but it never ever compares to the ordinary days when I know I have done my best to help my family.
It sincerely upsets me to see the attacks on the author of The Transformed Wife page. When I see the attacks, my knee jerk reaction is to “set them straight” from my own experience, but I realize that this is the generation that our generation bore and raised. Women bought the lie that was forced down my throat as a teen and young adult that women’s liberation was the only way to truly find ourselves and be content. We fed that lie. Then it went further that we were superior to men and all men were abusive and evil. Then our generation of women turned it into a campaign and destroyed the position of men, and then our nation.
I can’t tell you how many women my age regret having bought that set of lies and how many wished they had never gone to work but stayed home. I forfeited all the luxuries for raising my son myself. I will never ever for one second regret that decision. It was very difficult but now I have this wonderful young man whom I call son and who loves and respects me and helps me as I am getting older. I gave him back to the Lord on his birthday and the Lord endowed me with the strength to raise him up for the Lord.
As often as I can, when I see posts like this one, I try to tell my story because we need to help the upcoming generations of young women understand the truth – that God’s Word is true and right and best for us. It is NOT demeaning to be a homemaker. It is the most creative and rewarding work ever – to help the Lord mold your family into the people God intends for them to be – to cooperate with God’s creation of these beings – it’s just incredibly rewarding. When I am old, I want my son to rise up and call me blessed.
Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.