There are two types of women described all throughout the book of Proverbs. One is a godly woman and one is a foolish woman. I read through the entire book and noted all of the references made specifically to woman excluding Proverbs 31. First, I will give you the verses of foolish women to make sure none of these describe any of us!
“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19).
Contentious means given to angry debate and quarrelsome. It’s easy for us to want our own way and to be right but this isn’t what God calls us to do nor be. There are so many Christians books and articles about how to “fight fair” in marriage but according to the Word of God, we shouldn’t be fighting at all. “And the servant of the Lord must not strive; but be gentle unto all men” (2 Timothy 2:24). Strive means to struggle or fight vigorously. As women, we are called to have meek and quiet spirits, therefore, we must not quarrel or fight with our husbands.
“It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house” (Proverbs 21:9)
Brawling means the act of quarreling. Again, we are told to NOT quarrel. It should have no place in our lives. If you struggle with quarreling with your husband, ask him to call you out on it every time you begin to quarrel and immediately stop! It’s a hard habit to break (I know), but worth the effort. Peace in a marriage is a beautiful thing!
“It is better to dwell in the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman and in a wide house.” (Proverbs 25:24)
This verse is given twice (Proverbs 21:9)! Again, we are warned against quarreling. It would be better for a man to be exposed to the harsh heat of the sun, wind, and winter on a roof rather than live with a quarreling wife in a big and beautiful home. It will drive a man crazy! God commands wives to submit to their husband and when wives do this, quarreling stops immediately since they understand his headship over them.
“The contentions of a wife are a continual dripping” (Proverbs 19:13)
“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike” (Proverbs 27:15)
Twice we are told that a quarreling wife is like a “continual dripping.” I am sure you have heard a faucet that drips, drips, drips and it can drive you crazy because it is so constant and so annoying. This is what you sound like to your husband if you quarrel with him. Choose to bite your tongue rather than quarrel with your husband. Let him be right all the time if need be. Big deal!
“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion” (Proverbs 11:22)
Discretion means being wise and having common sense and good judgement. A woman who has no discretion (isn’t wise and doesn’t have common sense or good judgement) is compared to a piece of jewelry in a pig’s nose. As godly woman, we are called to be discreet. We are to be wise in avoiding errors and evil and do what is right and good according to God’s Word.
“She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house” (Proverbs 7:11).
This is completely opposite of having meek and quiet spirits. We aren’t to be loud. We aren’t to be stubborn and insist on having our own way. Our feet are in our homes as keepers at home where the Lord has commanded that we be. We don’t go out marching for our “rights” and demanding that we be heard. No, we work quietly and hard in our homes taking care of our families while giving all of our concerns to the Lord. He is mighty to save! We study to be quiet, do our own business, and work with our own hands (1 Thessalonians 4:11). We don’t have a sense of entitlement and wanting things for free but are content with our lot in life; for godliness with contentment is great gain.
“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing” (Proverbs 9:13)
Clamorous means speaking and repeating loud words, being noisy and turbulent. Without Christ’s Spirit working mightily within us, we will not be meek and quiet spirited women. As our culture spirals downwards, women become more loud and turbulent. This is why we need to be in the Word and allow His Spirit to transform us into His image.
“Three things the earth is disquieted…an odious woman when she is married” (Proverbs 30:23)
Odious means hateful, offensive to the senses, and disgusting. There seems to be many women who are hateful and disgusting these days. You can see it all over Facebook, during the feminist marches, and watching them on TV with their immodesty, unfeminine behavior, and foul language. I can tell you one thing, it’s so very ugly! The poor, poor men who are married to odious women. What a pity.
“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4)
Virtuous means morally good, practicing the moral duties, and abstaining from vice. Are you good? Are you washed by the blood of the Lamb? Have you been cleansed from your sin and walk in newness of life? Do you love the Lord Jesus, His Word, and seek to obey Him in every area of your life?
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands” (Proverbs 14:1)
With wisdom we build up our homes. Where do we find wisdom? We find it in God’s Word. We must be in His Word daily, then we must apply it to our lives. We must continually renew our minds with truth and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. We must seek counsel and learn from godly, older women who have walked the path before us. If we don’t do this and instead are led by our emotions and feelings, we will be foolish women who tear down our own homes.
“Whoso finds a wife finds a good thing, and favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22)
Yes, marriage is ordained by God. It was not good for man to be alone so God created a help meet for him. Unfortunately, many women don’t understand their created purpose but for those who do, their husbands are blessed men indeed!
“A prudent wife is from the Lord” (Proverbs 19:14)
Prudent means cautious and practically wise. She has common sense, lives within her husband’s income, obeys biblical principles, and loves her husband deeply. She is a pleasure to live with.
“A gracious woman retains honor” (Proverbs 11:6)
Gracious means she is kind, friendly, and forgives easily (merciful). She is not easily offended, doesn’t hold onto grudges, and lives her life for eternity. She loves people more than things, is not envious of others and what they have, and has learned to be moderate in all things (1 Corinthians 9:25).
My question for you: Are you building your home up with wisdom and sound judgment or are you tearing it down with your emotions and feelings? Which Proverbs woman are you?