Women No Longer Need to Be Tied to Their Babies?

Women No Longer Need to Be Tied to Their Babies?

A few years ago, a young woman tried to convince me that ALL mothers love their babies. “It’s just natural to love one’s baby!” No, it’s not. There’s good reasons for all of God’s commands, and He commands that older women teach young women to love their children. Today, many women don’t want children. If they get pregnant, they have no trouble aborting (murdering) their baby. They also have no problems putting their babies into daycare all day long. Here’s an example of a woman encouraging young women to not love their babies.

She wrote this on Twitter the other day: “Yes, but now with contraception we don’t have to get pregnant, and with hygienic pumps and bottles we are now no longer tied to babies like we once were, so can return back to work sooner. We have to physically push the baby out but that doesn’t mean we have to give up our lives.”

“Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee” (Isaiah 49:15). Yes, mothers can forget (neglect) their nursing babies. Yes, they can willingly leave their babies with strangers and a bottle. Is this what God has called them to do? No, He gave them breasts for a reason. He wants mothers home nursing their own babies IF they are able (some can’t nurse). He wants mothers caring for and loving their babies. Babies need and want their mothers.

 Can you now clearly see the lies behind feminism and what it has championed? It has championed birth control which eventually led to the slaughtering of millions of unborn babies. Sex has been completely divorced from procreation. They can have sex and get rid of any “unintended consequences” if they want and not think a thing about it. In fact, they celebrate it today. They have been given over to reprobate minds (Romans 1).

It’s not giving up one’s life for your baby, young women. They are gifts and blessings from God! Soon, I will have twelve grandbabies and they are one of the greatest blessings in my life! As you grow older (I just turned 62), the things of this world no longer hold much interest; for me anyway. I don’t care about jewelry or makeup or fancy clothes, furniture, cars, shoes, and so on. I care about being with my children and their children. I love having a baby or older child want to sit on my lap and cuddle with me. They bring more joy into our lives than any of the stuff this world has to offer. Please, don’t pass up on such incredible blessings for the short term pleasures that this world has to offer.

 Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5

32 thoughts on “Women No Longer Need to Be Tied to Their Babies?

  1. The mothers I’ve known hate having to go back to work and turn their child over to daycare. Some find alternative ways to make money and stay home so that they can be available to their children. (EBay, Plexus, Arbonne , Mary Kay , Avon ,Norwex , Pampered Chef, and Tupperware) According to an article in Forbes & from thebump.com 1,000 women were surveyed 84% wanted the luxury of staying home. 1 in 3 resented their spouse for not earning enough money so that they can stay home. Radical feminist (like the ones that plague your social media sites, like Twitter ) Take issue with this and villianize SAHMS the article reads citing the idea that women can have it all is a myth., citing an article written in The Atlantic “Why Women Can’t Have It All”
    Turns out you might be right after all!

    1. I sold Tupperware and later Mary Kay. It doesn’t work. A certain type of personality may be able to be a success — I knew several people who did very well with it. But I didn’t have the personality to do direct sales, and it takes a tremendous amount of time. I ended up in debt with both companies. The only way to make a steady reliable income was to take part time work outside the home. I know that will not be popular here, but financial demands (basically a stack of unpaid bills and nothing with which to pay them) required I work for pay. I tried to do Mary Kay and it only made the finances worse. Finally I tutored from home and also outside the home, which required a lot of hours to recover the financial problems.

      What I’m trying to say is, beware of the idea that a work-from-home job in a direct marketing or multi-level situation is going to help. Most of the time it doesn’t and only racks up more debt. I’ve been there, so I know. I regret it. You need reliable employment from home if you’re going to work from home, not something that only pays if you put in hours of time trying to convince people to buy from you — and a lot of that money that you earn has to go back into your business, at least at the beginning. You are not going to turn a profit for a long time.

      Now I did have friends who turned a profit very quickly, but mostly that is because they were in circles of people that had disposable income that they could use to buy the products. In my circles, people purchased things at discount stores because that’s what they could afford. It is also very unwise to pay by credit card — when you lay down cash for something, it is paid for. A credit card quickly becomes an albatross, as you well know, and those with little disposable income are going to stretch it as far as they can — and that means usually that if they have a choice between Mary Kay Cosmetics and the cosmetics at the discount warehouse, the discount wearhouse wins.

      Those of us who have relied on outside employment do love our children. We just have to do what we have to do. You can’t do much if your husband wants a steak lifestyle on a hamburger budget. The numbers won’t add up at the end of the month.

      Again, I understand this is unpopular here, and I’m unsure as to whether this will be allowed, but having been in direct sales and had it absolutely NOT work out, I want to warn those who are hoping that will be something on which they can rely — not likely.

      1. I have always had to work, too. It’s been tough. Those MLM gigs and from-home stuff is extremely risky financially and takes up so much time that most women are actually better off getting a part-time job outside of the home. I’ve been lucky in that the hours I’ve been able to work mean my husband has been home with the kids and we’ve never had to hire babysitters or anything. But still, it’s been hard.

  2. Mrs. Lori,

    If you have an Amazon account and Amazon Prime to go with it, I recommend you watch a movie called “Unprotected: The Untold Story of the Sexual Revolution”. It really ties into what your saying here. It is very impressive. Give it a try.

    With Respect,

    Jason Hancock

  3. I think a women have believed the lie that they can do so much more than “just” raising children. There is a really great book called the Phantom Tollbooth. In it is a character called the Terrible Trivium who lives in the Mountains of Ignorance. He preys upon ignorant travelers and side-tracks them into spending loads of time doing meaningless never-ending tasks. Women are falling for the Terrible Trivium all the time. We are trying to convince ourselves that we are doing a great work that will better society when in actuality, we can easily be replaced by a man in 99.9% of professions. We are completely irreplaceable as mothers but we are too ignorant to comprehend that truth.

    It’s like we are being enticed to spend all our money on a tiny jewel not realizing our father owns an entire diamond mine. The last laugh is on us.

    Also, women undervalue the task of motherhood. They contract it out to daycare workers and teachers not realizing that whoever influences the children are building the future. They are shaping the future of the world by raising children as well as their own future. If mothers realized that perhaps they would take motherhood more seriously. And perhaps our world wouldn’t be in the state it is. (Several young people arrested with Antifa came from “good” homes but were raised by school teachers. Over 70% of the prison population had no father in the home and absentee mothers since they were working.)

    Finally I believe there is not an understanding of the definition of the word love. Perhaps it is because it is used for so many different things in our English language. But if you read how the word love is described in the Bible, it has little to do with feelings. I think a lot of women feel they still love their children because they feel warm and fuzzy toward them. But warm fuzzy feelings is not what the Bible means by love. Love is defined by actions in scripture. Things like constantly teaching your children.

    1. While I agree with what you are saying, mothers at home won’t automatically turn our country into a cradle for a new generation of Christian conservatives. I notice feminist mothers raise feminist children whether they stay home or not. I have several stay at home mom friends that while they do teach their children at home, they teach them all about liberal ideas. They also plan to go back to work once their kids are done with Elementary. How do we change the ideals being taught at home?

      1. Very true. History shows us you’re correct. Mothers home with their children is only a start. Christian mothers teaching their children God’s ways and older women teaching the younger women are also key. The biggest way to positively change society that Christians threw out 75 years ago is avoiding birth control. If all solid Christian families had many children, coupled with the diligent teaching of said children, our society could turn back to God in one generation. Honestly, the reason our country is the way it is isn’t because of outside Godless people but because people who used to follow God’s ways turned from them. We are in a mess of our own making.

  4. I think Lori has hit on something true and deeply disturbing here…

    The only way to explain some women’s actions is to realize

    Women need to be taught to love their children…Motherly love is not automatic

    That is mildly upsetting when you think about it

    1. Of course it’s not automatic. Otherwise we wouldn’t have pregnant women drinking. We wouldn’t have child abuse. We wouldn’t have abortion. We wouldn’t have babies offered up for adoption. We wouldn’t have babies killed because the mother has left her young, immature boyfriend (not the baby’s father) caring for the baby while she goes out for a good time.

      In the field I work in, I have seen it all, and it’s absolutely heartbreaking.

  5. [God] commands that older women teach young women to love their children.

    Proof solid that love for her children is NOT instinctual in every woman. If it were, then this commandment and the Scripture supporting it would be unnecessary. Most of us each day see with our own eyes and hear with our own ears the evidence that indifference (at best) and antipathy (at worst) toward their children is the norm for the majority of women, and, sadly, not just worldly women, either.

  6. As a woman with only a tiny baby in heaven, this is so heartbreaking to read. What I wouldn’t give to have been able to carry that pregnancy to term and held on to that baby…who would be 20 this month. No baby means no grandbabies either. The whole thing is so tragic.

  7. I was 21 when I had my first, and I went back to work four weeks after having her. This caused me to have terrible postpartum depression. I felt like I was losing my mind. It was awful. My husband and I were constantly fighting, and I was bitterly jealous of my mom because she was the one getting to watch our daughter while we were at work. I remember hiding in a bathroom stall at my workplace, pumping and crying while the person in the stall next to me was having obvious stomach issues. That moment was the final straw to everything that had been building up. I should have been in the comforts of my home, feeding the milk I was pumping to my baby — not in a public restroom pumping out milk to dump while listening to a stranger have explosive diarrhea.

    I am now a full time stay at home mom, and not only did my marriage greatly improve, but so did the overall structure of our home. I found your blog shortly after I quit my job, and I found I LOVE being a quiet, submissive house wife. We don’t have a lot of money, but learning to live within our means has allowed us to live a comfortable, debt free life without government assistance. My husband is happier, my daughter is happy, and I just had my second baby a month ago, and I feel absolutely wonderful. No postpartum depression. I healed WAY faster, and I just have so much more energy — even with a newborn and two year old. Feminism is a horrible lie.

  8. I didn’t marry until I was in my early 30s so I worked for many years. It sure cured me of any dream like ideas that there was any glamour to having a career. My worst day at home with my kids was still better than the soul-draining atmosphere of the workplace. Shortly after getting married and before our first child, I tried working part-time and I quickly learned that part-time work is just full-time work with half the pay. I was getting calls and emails at home asking me to just quickly do this or that, and I would get back to work the next morning to find my desk full of things that could not be completed in a half day. I quit work completely after having my first child and I never regretted being home with our now grown children. Don’t be fooled; it is NOT glamorous out there in the work world and I have great sympathy for those with no other option but to leave their children in the care of others. They grow up so quickly; savor every moment. I eagerly await the grand babies!

  9. I was just thinking today of how some people look down on stay at home moms. Like we are “ruining our potential.” My potential for what? To work for a large corporation?

    It’s interesting to me. People would view me better if I dropped my baby off at a sitters house, and then went to work at a daycare! Or if I hired a maid to clean my house, and then went and got a job as a maid cleaning other people’s homes!

    People seem to view you better if you abandon your home and children to go make money. Why would I work at a daycare or as a maid if I could be home and raise my own child and care for my own home? Making money is not as important to me as being at home with my family. I grew up in a broken home. A mother who worked long hours, a father who also did. My mom was constantly trying to control my father, and yelling at us kids to be the ones to cook, clean, and manage the house. Eventually it led to divorce. I will not repeat this cycle! A career is not more important than being a loving stay at home mother.

    I’d rather serve my family and husband than a boss!

  10. Laurie,

    I love reading your biblical womanhood advice. What do you suggest for people where the husband doesn’t know how to manage money? In our case I started staying at home and we had a nest egg to live on plus his income. That has dwindled quite a bit. He doesn’t make enough to cover all the bills. I wish he would get a better paying job, he has tried but didn’t get an offer after the interviews but he hasn’t tried in a while because he wants to work on an artistic project and make that his work. It’s a situation where we can’t cut out expenses because property taxes that make our home payment very expensive as well as debts that he has under his name. We can’t sell the house yet because it’s underwater. He also wants to tithe (our pastor says we must tithe to receive gods blessing) but we do not even have enough to pay the bills let alone tithe. To be honest We both have been spending like we did before we had a baby and were both working so I feel I need to be better about it before bringing it to him . Buying things here and there, getting takeout, and him buying food for lunches at work. His dad was not good with money, he couldn’t keep a job and they got evicted a lot and had to move around constantly. So he didn’t have a good male role model. I am better with money but don’t want to be controlling and would like him to lead us on this. What should I do? Should I start a job to help or let our money run out and have him try to figure it out? Or any other solutions you could give.

    1. You need to begin learning to live simply and frugally, Jess. I have articles about this topic on my blog under “Financial.” Check them out and begin doing what it takes to live within your husband’s income so you can stay home full time.

    2. Honestly, I’d be looking for a new church. Nowhere in the Bible does it say we must tithe to receive God’s blessing.
      Supporting God’s servants financially is what we are commanded to do, but tithing is a voluntary thing, and is absolutely in no way connected with receiving God’s blessing.

      I have a Biblical Womanhood book (I call it the Pink Book) I can’t remember who wrote it – David Coory I think. Nor can I remember the exact title, but it’s something along the lines of Fascinating Womanhood, or The Secrets of Fascinating Womanhood. It’s based on the teachings of Helen Anderlin, but it was written by a man. Anyway, in this book it’s suggested that we women just hand over the finances completely to the man to take control of, and just let him learn. Don’t field debt collector calls – let him sort it. Live as frugally as possible, but just let him figure it out, and pray. Pray. Pray. Men are not stupid, and most of the time they’re not irresponsible, either. When they have to step up, they do.
      It was semi-successful for me.

  11. When my exwife had our baby she stayed at home 3mo. I didnt have the money to pay for a luxurious stay at home wife, she could not stop spending and had debt with nothing to show or sell so she had to go back to work. She told me how much she loved staying at home how relaxing it was. And our baby may have been the best baby ever. She had to go back and the count down started 2mo before.

    6mo later our daycare lady quit and i took paid layoff at work so stayed at home with the baby 2mo. That really killed her. I knew she was mad and made sure the house was clean made home made dinner every day and told her how well behaved our baby was. She was so resentful that she lied to her friends about the situation and said i quit my job unpaid.

    The resentfulness never stopped and when we got divorced she claimed i never changed a diaper or did any parenting. The 2mo i was a stay at home dad was brought up and well i didnt have any physical evidence that it happened and the judge took her account that she was basically a single mom while married.

    1. Yes, it’s the hardest thing in the world for a woman to leave her little baby behind and go to work while her husband stays home and cares for it. I did it, and it was so tough. I’m glad it was my husband caring for my babies and not someone who didn’t love them like we did but still…. it was tough.
      I was jealous that my husband was there, doing the job I should have been doing. The job that God made for me.
      I can absolutely understand your wife’s resentment. I don’t necessarily condone it, but I definitely understand it.

  12. While I realize there are millions of feminist women, what about all of the men who’ve swallowed the feminist LIE about children? I have a very good, honorable, hard working Christian husband. And his heart towards having babies is so sour it’s heartbreaking to talk to him about it. So I avoid the subject of getting pregnant all together. Our children even know that Dad can’t stand the thought of having more children based on the disdain in his attitude and words. And after this last pregnancy I don’t want to go through another one because of the turmoil and anxiety I went through the whole time and post partum knowing his self sufficient and warped mindset makes babies an enormous burden and stress for him. I’m on my own in my excitement and joy of pregnancy and the potential in another arrow for God’s kingdom. It’s a very sad thing but he’s among many Christian church going men who believe the same feminist lies that most women do. Children aren’t an expected and exciting result of sex in a marriage. They need to be planned for and WANTED or else they just aren’t. Can your husband write about this to encourage our husbands to think God’s thoughts?

  13. Lori,
    I have a very close friend whose husband makes enough to comfortably maintain his family. My friend, a mother of 5 children ages 5 and under is working 50 hour weeks just to maintain the lifestyle SHE dreams of having. A fancy job, Shopping trips, travel, a cabin at the lake…
    Today she proudly told me she has started interviewing daycares for her youngest, twin babies.
    My heart broke. These 5 small children wake up at 7am every day and are carted to different day care providers Monday – Friday , spendIng 40 hours a week away from their family all in the name of what?! money and feminism.

    I relish being home with my baby and toddler. No, we don’t have fancy things, I make sure I stretch every dollar my husband makes so that I can be home. But nothing in the world is better than the slow mornings where my small kids wake up when they are ready, we have breakfast together , we pray and read books. We go on daily adventures outside. We bake together. I haven’t missed a single milestone of their lives. And I wouldn’t trade it for a fancy job or a cabin at the lake. Children are treasures. Their childhoods are treasures. I just wish all mothers could see that 🙁

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