We live in a culture that is so feminized that whenever a marriage is in trouble, the husband is to blame and some type of abuse is the reason. Take the Kendrick brother movies. It’s always the husbands who are at fault.

Here’s something one woman wrote on my social media?

“The woman that made the greatest impact on me was physically abused by her husband. She had a legitimate case of abuse. She was the gentlest, sweetest, most forgiving, and godliest woman I have ever met. Her husband was a heroin addict who was constantly delusional and would sometimes point a gun at her head. That’s true abuse! But most women’s stories are not like that. If a woman is in that kind of situation and her life is at risk, she should seek help ASAP. I think very few people on this forum would deny this.

“At my husband’s suggestion a couple of days ago, we sat down to watch Fireproof. We had seen it many years ago. About five to ten minutes in, l asked my husband if we could turn it off and watch something else. I just couldn’t stomach how the wife was being portrayed as being abused by a hot-headed husband. It makes me cringe that these movies are passed off in the name of Christianity.

“The things the husband was upset about was that there were no groceries, she didn’t cook, she worked an outside job, and she had very little respect for him. He also had his own issues. It’s sad that for many years our society lived on traditional values of women grocery shopping, cooking for their family, and not working outside the home and now, when a man expects his wife to be the homemaker, many women scream abuse and male chauvinism. So sad.”

What’s incredibly sad is how few women are actually being taught how to be good wives. They aren’t learning or being modeled by their mothers. They aren’t learning it at school or at church. They’re learning the complete opposite. They’re learning that everything is the husbands’ fault and makes everything the husband says and does abusive. Women are faultless.

Well, I found this not to be true when I began mentoring women years ago. First, they told me was how bad their husbands were. Then, I always asked them what kind of a wife they were. Not one knew anything about being a good wife. I wonder if there’s ever been a time in history when older women on a grand scale were teaching younger women what God commands they teach.

When you mentor women, remember that there are always two sides to the story. Never recommend divorce. If they are being physically abused, help them escape ASAP, although many don’t want to escape unfortunately. For the rest, teach the biblical principles on becoming the wives God calls them to be. Help them to see their fault in the marriage. Remind them that this is a spiritual battle. Satan likes nothing more than destroying marriages and families; for these are the foundation of strong churches and nations.

Let them know that they are only responsible for their own behavior, not their husbands. Always point them to God’s Word. They will reap what they sow. This is an eternal principle. Help them learn how to sow good fruit in their marriages that will build them up rather than tear them down. Meet consistently with each other if you can. They need someone to encourage them and give them wise counsel in their battle.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1 Peter 3:1,2