Browsed by
Category: Keepers at Home

What They Gave Up to Be Home Full Time

What They Gave Up to Be Home Full Time

Women who want to be home full time usually have to give up some things in order to do this. I asked the women in the chat room what they had to give up and I received many great comments. Here are a few of them:

Kim: “Being a number at a job. Being someone that is replaceable. Being used and not paid for a job well done. Not being appreciated. Enlarging someone else’s wallet. Time spent with family so my boss can go home while I worked overtime to ‘get ahead.’ Not being able to stay at home when my children were sick. Drying cleaning. Working holidays. Getting caught up in the Working Woman’s mindset. Being lied to by SATAN!”

Judy: “Stress, along with a lot of  ‘hay, wood, and stubble.’

Michelle: “I have given up much of my pride. Worldly luxuries that have no eternal benefit. But ooohh, the rewards!!! I have had the blessing of being a stay at home wife and mother for seventeen years.”

Celina: “I gave up free private Christian school tuition, a sizable salary (and the ability to buy what I wanted when I wanted), daily social interaction with solid Christians face to face; I also gave up a ton of stress, deadlines and responsibility, guilt, pride, business clothes and pretty shoes, being a boss, being an employee, pleasing others.”

Jessica: “Nothing. We would be spending in daycare and convenience foods what I was making. I would have had a nervous breakdown worrying about the boys all day between the Aspergers, bleeding disorder, and food allergies anyway. I honestly don’t know how people let strangers take care of their children all day.”

Diane: “Six figures a year. Worth every penny.”

Laressa: “Nothing. We grew up with stay-at-home moms so this feels normal to us. We live within our means. My husband’s salary has gone up and down quite a bit over the years, but we have always had our needs met and many of our wants. We’ve always been self employed and there are extremely good years and some lean years.”

Jessica: “An unfulfilling job. LOL. I wanted a home and family to start with.”

Lynn: “Nothing and lots. Let me explain. Nothing is the fact that ALL of our needs are met. We have all the important things. We have a home, our farm, cars, clothes, food, insurance, etc. Things we go without… expensive vacations, cable TV. Eating out all the time, extra shopping trips, NEW vehicles, NEW furniture. I’m thrilled to be at home. I wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world.”

Carla: “We would definitely have a bigger home if I worked. Ironically, we probably would not have had as many children and would not have needed more space. I know compared to many around the world my home is a mansion. We pray we will have more room someday, but God knows our needs. He is able!”

Wendy: My job, my large home, our two cars…22 years ago and four children later and would do it all again in a flash.”

Robin: “My salary which at the time was half of our income. I didn’t care at the time – I would have lived in a cardboard box in order to stay home with my daughter! However, God has always been faithful to meet our needs! Not always in the way I wanted or would have done it or even in the timing I wanted, but all according to His will and plan.”

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.
Ephesians 3:20

A Nurse Comes Home Full Time

A Nurse Comes Home Full Time

Hi Lori! I love your blog and your ministry to women. Unfortunately, there aren’t many woman even Christians who understand the roles women should play as a wife and mother. I am 33 years old and stay home with my children ages eight and ten. I began homeschooling them when my youngest was five. I was raised with a Christian mother and grandmother, but I was never taught that a woman should stay home. In fact, that idea was just crazy to me when my fiancee at nineteen told me that’s what he wanted me to do. (His mother always stayed home when he was a child.) I was told to go to college and maybe not even get married.

I got married young at twenty and finished college then worked as a nurse. It was hard even without children. My husband and I argued over everything from money to house work to what to eat for dinner. I ended up pregnant with my first child soon after beginning to work and continued until we both had it. We were both miserable when I worked full time. I attempted working part time after my second child was born, but that didn’t work out well either. I was miserable being away from my children and worried about them all day long even when they were with him. We were both exhausted trying to make it work. He was the first to say, “Why be married living like this?”

We could have end up divorced the way it was going. But the day I quit my job and we submitted to God’s plan for women, our lives changed dramatically. Our relationship changed. We became the couple we started out as. We are truly best friends and lovers.

We worried that money would be tight, but honestly, it never felt like it. Sure, we couldn’t go out to dinner every night or buy whatever we wanted. My shopping splurges changed from the mall to the dollar store. I couldn’t take the kids on every outing I wanted, but we learned the beauty in nature and simple days of playing games and going to the park. I have a clean home and dinner for my family. Most of the time some clean laundry. Ha! When we decided public school wasn’t right for our kids, it was an easy choice to homeschool. Our kids are well rounded and well behaved, mostly.

Every since, my husband has been able to focus on his job as a provider. He was able to go against the grain and start his own business with my support as his help meet. We have been very blessed with that. He is able to be home often and spend time with our children.

He and I plan that I never have to go back to work. He loves me being home with the children and being home when he gets home with a smile and dinner. I don’t feel imprisoned or controlled. I am genuinely happy as a wife and mom. I am glad to be here for my children and hopefully will be as they grow up and have families as well as whatever is in store for us in the future. I just wished I’d done it sooner!

I have followed your other blog off and on as time allows. I just want you to know what a impact it has had on me. It’s nice to read your posts about a woman’s role, and I love the posts about marriage. Thank you so much for sharing and being such an encouragement! Thanks for speaking God’s truth about women’s roles and not being ashamed or afraid to share. So many churches don’t fully teach this. They teach around it. Where would we be if most woman stayed in the home!

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house,
give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Timothy 5:14

Fewer Young People Want Gender Equality at Home

Fewer Young People Want Gender Equality at Home

Many adults today have been negatively impacted by the feminist movement; their mothers worked full time thus they didn’t spend much time with their mothers. They were raised by strangers mostly, and/or their parents were divorced. Because their mothers worked outside of the home, there was most likely a lot of quarreling between their parents (if they had both a mother and father) about who would do what since the roles seemed interchangeable because women and men were “equal” in every way. Children who were raised in this environment are going to clearly see that it doesn’t work out for good. Most likely, they aren’t going to want to continue living a life that hurt them so much, if they are wise enough to know there is a better way and there is – God’s way!

There’s an article called Americans Don’t Want What Feminists Want and I hope it is true. Feminist Activist Sheryl Sandberg wants men to “support” women in their career goals by working less at their jobs and more on the home front so women can do less on the home front and work more at their jobs. “My goal is very clear, which is that women run half our companies and countries and men run half our homes.”

Her goal and all feminist’s goals are against God’s plan for us and this will never work as if puny humans think what they make up is better than God’s perfect design for us. God didn’t create women to be leaders. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths (Isaiah 3:12). He created men to be the leaders with their temperament and build. He created women to be homemakers and raise children with their more emotional makeup and sensitive qualities. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully (1 Timothy 5:14).

“A new study by the Council of Contemporary Families was released that shows fewer young people want gender equality at home! The study found an increase in the number of college-bound students who believe families are better off if men are ‘the achievers outside the home’ and women ‘handled most of the family and domestic duties.’ There has also been ‘an uptick in the number who prefer the men to be dominant.'”

These young adults see the value in a mother home full time since they didn’t have one. They know the loneliness of wanting to be with their mother so badly that it hurt, yet having to watch her leave them every day all day. They felt the insecurity of not having one person to bond with when they were children. They didn’t like it and they know it’s not right or the way it should be. They may have even gathered and played at a neighbor friend’s home where the mother was home full time and saw the difference a mother at home makes. This home smelled good from food cooking and had a warm, comfortable feel about it because mother was at home. They grew up longing for this in their own homes instead of having an overworked and exhausted mom for a few hours in the evening when she got home from work and had given all of her best energy to others.

“Unlike feminists, they recognize the significance and value of domestic life and accept that sex differences are a vital component of any good marriage.” They recognize the significance and value of domestic life for women because most of them didn’t have it and yearned for it. They want to give their children what they didn’t have. Women have found out that working full time while having children isn’t such a good idea. The young women want to be the ones raising their children, fixing them healthy meals instead of fast food often, and being there to see their babies’ first smile, first step, and have the energy to enjoy them.

Growing up, these young adults were smart enough to see that their dads were bigger and stronger and more of an authority figure than their mothers. They knew it’s a dad’s responsibility to protect and provide for them and a mom’s responsibility to nurture. Dad and Mom aren’t “equal” as the feminists tried to get them to believe and it was clearly visible to them. Feminism lied to them and all they inherited from the feminists’ corrupt philosophy was messed up childhoods without a mother to raise them and most likely not a father in the home. Of course, they aren’t going to want this for their children!

“Women have been brainwashed to believe that the absence of a titled, payroll occupation condemns a woman to failure, boredom, and even imprisonment within the confines of the home. Although feminism speaks of liberation, self-fulfillment, personal rights, and breaking down barriers, in reality these phrases inevitably have produced the opposite. In fact, a salaried job and titled position can inhibit a woman’s natural nesting instinct and maternity by inverting her priorities so that she almost inevitably experiences failures in her life in the arena that should be most important, that is, in the fashioning of an earthly shelter for those whom she loves most and in the rearing of her own children.” (Dorothy Patterson)

“The younger generation isn’t interested in what women like Sheryl Sandberg and Gloria Steinem are interested in.” Thankfully.

The Lord bringeth the counsel of the heathen to nought: He maketh the devices of the people of none effect. The counsel of the LORD standeth for ever, the thoughts of His heart to all generations.
Psalm 33:10, 11

Raising Children in the Light of Truth

Raising Children in the Light of Truth

This is a lemon tree I bought at Costco a few weeks ago. We have many lemon trees outside of our home and we have for years but they don’t do that good. This tree is sheltered from the salty air and winds that those outside are exposed to on a daily basis. It doesn’t have snails and grubs crawling all over it during the night like the ones outside. I often check it to see if it has enough water and fertilize it with healthy food made just for it. Every day, it receives sunlight from the early afternoon until the sun sets because it sits in a southwest corner of our home with windows on both sides. This tree is FULL of flowers like the ones you see and is so much healthier than the ones outside. It’s exactly how children should be raised: sheltered from the wicked culture around them and basking in the light of the Truth while being cared for and nurtured by their mothers.

Matt Walsh is one wise, young man. He wrote this yesterday on Facebook:

“I was on with Glenn today to talk about my book, The Unholy Trinity. He asked me if I have any hope for the future of our country. I answered as honestly as I could, even if my answer is not necessarily cheerful.

The truth is that we have a very long and arduous road ahead. If we are going to ‘reclaim the culture,’ it will be something achieved over the course of generations. We need to raise our children in the light of truth, and they need to raise theirs the same way, and if we stay on that path for a considerable amount of time, we may be able to say, sometime off in the future, that we live in a truly Christian nation again (although it will still be far from perfect, until Christ returns). I say ‘we,’ but you and I will be long dead by that point.

Anyone who suggests that the fight can be won any other way, or any quicker, is lying or delusional. We lost the culture over generations. We have to win it back the same way.”

And how do we do this? By mothers going back home full time and raising their children in the ways of the Lord as Timothy’s grandmother and mother did by passing on their faith to him (2 Timothy 1:3). By mothers who are determined to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) instead of sending them off to godless institutions that are run by a godless government most of their lives. By wives who are committed to their marriages until death do they part and learn to be submissive, obedient, and kind towards their husband and allowing their husband to lead their families. Women who allow Christ to work in and through them so their husband and children know, without a doubt, that they love the Lord deeply.

By mothers who teach, train, and discipline their children for the purposes of godliness and hide God’s Word deeply in their hearts. By women who care more about their children’s eternal souls than making a buck or having it all. This is a full-time job and don’t let anyone, especially feminists or even your church, tell you otherwise. It is mothers’ God-given role to be home, bearing children, and raising them for the Lord and His Kingdom.

This culture needs Jesus. All cultures need Jesus. A woman from Africa commented on my Facebook page yesterday and wrote that women there have to work to support their families. Africa needs Jesus and His ways. It needs men who are willing to marry and work hard to provide for their families so the mother of their children can stay home and raise those children in the ways of the Lord: to work hard, to have self-control, to be joyful, continually pointing them back to the truth of God’s Word, teaching them to have sound doctrine and a sound mind, and to love the Lord more than the pleasures of their culture.

Mothers at home, you are doing Kingdom work and storing your treasures in heaven. Each moment you spend at home raising your children is good in God’s eyes. No, making money is not the be all and end all at all. It’s not your job. Your job is to raise the next generation and stop the madness of what we see taking place around us. It’s raising children without an entitlement mindset, but instead, children who work hard and enjoy the fruit of their labor. Let your husbands decide how to raise your sons to be men. Don’t interfere!

As Lindsay Harold stated it perfectly, “If you want to get your man excited about Christianity, help him see this as a culture war that we need him to fight by training his own children to be soldiers in the realm of ideas, to fight lies with truth, to show evidence for the Christian faith, and to stand strong in the face of oppression, ridicule, and even persecution, and then to do the same with their children. This is a vision that appeals to men and that we need Christian men to rise up and take on in their own corner of the world, to fulfill the mandate to be fruitful and multiply, to have dominion over the earth, and to spread the gospel.”

All of this is good and pleasing in the sight of God and this is all that matters. Women have blasphemed the Word of God by not being keepers at home but instead allowing others raise their children. Let this not be said about you.

And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. nd thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates: That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth.
Deuteronomy 11:19-21

Nancy Wolgemuth’s “Better Understanding” of Keepers at Home

Nancy Wolgemuth’s “Better Understanding” of Keepers at Home

“A woman who is not content to have a priority placed on her home and her role there – who has to be always out, always doing other things, always engaged with people outside her home – you may find that, if she’s not willing to be content with her home ministry and responsibilities, there are other sins that will accompany that as well.” (1 Timothy 5:11, 12)

 “If women would focus more on making their home a place of beauty and order, and a haven of peace and joy and contentment for their own husband and their own children and for guests that God brings into that home, how much protection might there be on other fronts and from the possibility of other kinds of sins.”

Both of these quotes were given by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth before she got married many years ago and are no longer on her site. She clearly understood the importance of women being in the home and working there. I was excited about her new book Adorned since it was based on Titus 2:4, 5. I was especially excited to see what she had to say about being keepers at home, since this is the topic I get most anger about from women in our feminized culture.

When I read this, I was concerned: “As a result of studying this over the years, this is one phrase in this passage where my thinking has evolved over the years, and I’m teaching this a little differently today than I did when I first recorded this series eight years ago because I’ve grappled with more of what it’s talking about, some of the cultural and historical background and some of the interpretation of the Scripture. So I want to share with you a better understanding of what I think this passage is saying to us.”

But then she said this: “The world’s idea of home is so messed up, so fractured, so splintered, which isn’t to say that Christians don’t have family problems. They do. We do. But we’re supposed to have grace for dealing with those issues. And people who are the result of multiple generations of serial divorce and re-marriage, promiscuity, and gender confusion, their hearts are longing for home. And it’s Christian homes tended to by Christian mothers and wives and women that ought to create in the world’s mind and in their hearts an appetite for our ultimate home of heaven.”

 And this: “The ‘private sphere,’ on the other hand, the home that used to be the center of productivity and the economic engine for the society, the ‘private sphere’ has now been devalued—that’s the home where loving marriages are nurtured, where children are discipled and trained, where disabled or elderly family members can be cared for, and hospitality and care can be extended to friends and neighbors. Those things you don’t get paid to do in your home, so that work has been devalued while the work outside the home that you get a paycheck for has been exalted.”

Then she began to veer off in another direction: “Far from demeaning women, Paul was actually in this passage progressive for his time and his culture because he called Christian women throughout his epistles to be intentional about employing their heads, their hearts, and their hands for the sake of the gospel.

 The apostle worked with Priscilla and her husband in their tent-making business.

 His ministry in Philippi was supported by the business successes of a woman named Lydia.”

She argues that the home is no longer a place of commerce like it was back in biblical days. Families worked together to provide a living for themselves. Nowadays, she states that the home is a place of consumption and people leave their homes to make money so they can use it in their homes. I disagree. Homes can still be a place of commerce. Women can save money by cooking from scratch, growing some of their own food, using things up, not wasting, being creative, sewing, selling goods or services from home, and many other things. There are many women today who live simply and carefully while living within their husband’s income, so they can be home with their children.

 “Paul is not mandating that women are only to work at home or that the home is to be their only sphere of influence or investment. He is not saying that their domestic activities are to be their sole focus of that their home requires 24/7 attention at all times….As we have seen, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the only or number one priority at all times. But he is saying to women, ‘Don’t drop the ball!’…This passage also implies that ‘young women’ – that is, women in the child-bearing, child-rearing season of life – have a distinct responsibility to prioritize their homes and children…Periodically we need to push the pause button and ask ourselves if some of those activities (jobs, hobbies, even ministry involvements) would be better postponed for another time when we can undertake them without violating other God-given responsibilities.”

“What matters – particularly for married women and moms – is not what a woman’s home looks like or what she does there, but whether she is giving it the appropriate priority…Having a heart for home will look different for different women, depending on the configuration and particular circumstances of their family and what best serves their needs at any given time.”

Then Nancy gives examples of women who worked in various ways to make money but she never mentions family, relatives, and the church financially supporting widows so they don’t have to leave their homes as the Apostle Paul did in 1 Timothy 5. Nor does she site studies that prove that children with mothers home full time are much more emotionally stable and secure. I am seeing the devastating results of mothers not being home full time on women I mentor who didn’t have mothers home full time with them and how it affects their lack of ability to be mothers and wives.

Nancy does give a story of a woman who hated housework and became involved in a ministry outside of her home, leaving her husband to do all of the housework. Eventually, he found another woman who was interested in him and left her. But her eyes were opened and she saw how she had torn her home down with her own hands and “how she had devalued and neglected her husband, daughter, and home.” Thankfully, they were able to rebuild their marriage.

 “And when we cultivate homes where others can grow and be nurtured, where they feel welcomes, loved, and cared for, we put the heart and character of God on display…The often tedious and mundane tasks of homemaking become acts of worship, our ordinary movements works of art.”

She also used a great quote by Jani Ortlund: “Our homes, imperfect as they are, should be a reflection of our eternal home, where troubled souls find peace, weary hearts find rest, hungry bodies find refreshment, lonely pilgrims find communion, and wounded spirits find compassion.”

Nancy’s mother did have seven children and was a keeper at home. “My mother worked hard to create an atmosphere in our home that reflected God’s beauty, His order, and His merciful, welcoming heart. In so doing, she gave our hearts a taste for heaven.”

My thoughts: Nancy has definitely softened her stance on women being keepers at home and I can understand why. Women are merciless in trying to get me to soften my stance but I try hard to stay true to Scripture. Feminism has invaded the Church and made it very difficult to teach women to be keepers at home. Nancy still clearly teaches the value of women being keepers at home but gives many exceptions and I know there are some, but I have a hard time finding them in Scripture and especially when the exceptions become the majority. Priscilla and Lydia most likely worked in their homes. We are not told if they had children, but I seriously doubt they left their homes for eight hours a day and their children in the care of others.

Single mothers have a greater opportunity today to seek the Lord in wisdom in how to be able to stay home and make money from home. Family, relatives, and the church should be supporting widows so they don’t even have to think about providing for themselves. They can then focus upon raising their children who need them now more than ever since they have lost their father. The last thing these children need is to be raised by someone other than their mothers.

Nancy fails to mention the high cost of higher education and the debt most amass because of it or the debauchery in most universities. Also, many times when women achieve good careers, they can’t quit when they have babies due to the debt and amount of time spent getting their career. Husbands many times want their wives to work when they have good careers because they see dollar signs instead of the value of their wives raising their children.

Therefore, I will continue to encourage women to be full-time keepers at home since this is what God commands that older women teach. What each woman wants to do with this teaching is up to them but I encourage them to search the Word for themselves without being swayed by feminist teachings. If only we had another President who was able to articulate clearly the importance of a keeper at home:

 “The good mother, the wise mother…is more important to the community than even the ablest man; her career is more worthy of honor and is more useful to the community than the career of any man, no matter how successful.” – Theodore Roosevelt

 “To me, feminism has backfired against women…I see feminism as the Great Experiment that Failed, and women in my generation, its perpetrators, are the casualties. Many of us, myself included, are saddled with raising children alone…Feminism freed men, not women…What’s worse, we asked for it. We packed them off to day-care canters where they could get their nurturing from professionals. Then we put on our suits and ties, packed our briefcases and took off on the Great Experiment, convinced that there was no difference between ourselves and the guys in the other offices…The reality of feminism is a lot of frenzies and overworked women dropping kids off at a day-care center.” – Kay Eberling

Finally, from one of my favorite older women who teaches truth, Nancy Campbell: “Ephesians 6:8 tells us: ‘Whatsoever GOOD thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive the Lord.’ Dear mother, I want to remind you that you are doing a GOOD work. God tells us in Titus 2:4, 5 that the ‘GOOD’ things the older women must teach the younger women are all about the home–loving your husband, loving your children, and being a keeper at home. When you embrace this lifestyle God planned for you, you are doing a good work. When you nurse your baby, teach your children, prepare the meals, clean, and keep your house in order you are doing GOOD things.

This is why I will never stop teaching younger women to be “keepers at home… that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Titus 2:5

Bragging About Messy Homes

Bragging About Messy Homes

Women brag about messy homes today because they have “more important” things to do. They need “me time” and time to pursue their hobbies. They need to play with their children often and take them many places for different experiences while neglecting their home duties. These are all considered badges of honor and praised. I see it consistently in younger women while having a clean and tidy home is mocked, as if it’s not important. God thinks it’s important. This is why He commands that women be “keepers at home” and work hard in their home by NOT eating the bread of idleness.

God is a God of beauty and order and our homes should reflect this, women. “Order and usefulness and purpose bring satisfaction, but God desired that there should be beauty in His work” (A.W.  Tozer). Way too many women have no idea how to keep clean and tidy homes anymore. My best friend’s home was always clean and tidy despite being a widow with three active young sons to care for. She cleaned as she went and worked hard at home. I never heard her talk about “me time” or her hobbies. She knew her ministry was in her home and with her sons. She wanted them to grow up in a calm and beautiful environment. Clean homes are beautiful, even if they are not expensive homes.

Katie Schuermann wrote an article called 10 Reasons I Still Keep a Clean Home Despite Everyone Insisting It’s Stupid. And of course they do because we, as a culture, have drifted so far away from God’s principles. “In an age when messes are touted as holy and clutter is extolled as the sign of productive genius, I find myself embarrassed by my organized closets and clean countertops. Who but a self-conceited nelly would bother folding dish towels before putting them in the drawer? Only a petty dolt would routinely organize her pantry, right? And what kind of cold-hearted woman asks her children to make their beds before breakfast? 

Keeping a clean, orderly home was once the hallmark of happy domesticity, but now, messiness is next to godliness. A littered living room floor is certain proof of family fealty on Facebook, and every good blogging mother knows that laughing and playing with her children is more important than wiping down the bathroom sink.”

Her mother taught her to be clean and tidy. My mother did the same thing. Every Saturday morning, she had a list of chores she expected us to finish and I remember many Saturdays out in the yard weeding. Once she broke her leg badly and had to be in a large cast for several months, so we had to all pitch in and help a lot. Now, when my grandchildren come over, I insist they clean up all of their messes before I take them home. They made the mess, they clean it up.

Clean homes are more peaceful. Cluttered homes mean cluttered minds. Declutter your homes! It’s almost impossible to keep a home clean and tidy with a lot of clutter. My oldest daughter has moved a lot in her six years of marriage but they both like it because it keeps them from gathering too much junk. They are ruthless when it comes to decluttering. They love to have a home that is clean, tidy, and uncluttered. I love these kinds of homes, along with some beautiful daffodils to brighten them up!

If you are looking for an easy and very effective way to clean your home without toxic chemicals and simply with water, please check out this YouTube by Linda and how easy cleaning glass, mirrors, and windows are with Norwex without leaving any streaks left behind! Norwex has amazing products and makes cleaning super easy! I made a YouTube about my Norwex but Linda is much better and more professional, plus she shows you how to use all of their products. If you want to order Norwex in the USA, check out Amber’s site. Amber is great to work with and gets your products to you right away. (The kitchen, body, window, and enviro cloth are my favorites! I make NO profit from any of this. It’s just a great product and I love sharing things I love!)

With all of the time saving appliances and great things to clean with, there is no reason why any fairly healthy woman should have a messy, dirty home. “Your home should express your personality, your values, and your heart. Surround yourself with people and things you love, and you will always feel at home.” -Dorothy Patteron

She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

***Here is a good chore list that is age appropriate to begin teaching your children from the time they are young. They will appreciate it when they are grown up with self-discipline, clean homes, and are hard workers!

Prisoners In Our Homes and Marriages?

Prisoners In Our Homes and Marriages?

Yes, some feminists actually believe women are prisoners in their homes and marriages and they must fight to free us from our bondage. You don’t believe me? Here is what a one woman wrote as she shared one of my handwritten posts:

Yes, women are capable of determining what to do with their lives but for women who love the Lord, they want to make their decisions based upon His Word and not their “wants” as many are doing today. The reason many Christian women who work outside of the home are against you advocating for “gender equality” is because they are wise enough to know that God values women and men equally and they both have worth, but they aren’t the same which is what feminists are fighting for. There are many women who don’t want to be men. They like being women and don’t want sameness. We don’t want you advocating for us, because our homes and marriages aren’t prisons. They are God’s perfect will for us because He created them for us.

Has my marriage and being home full time for 32 years been prison for me? No, it has been a wonderful place to be! I have a husband who works hard so I can stay home. I live in a beautiful home. We raised four great children together. He was a wonderful father to them. When I was sick all of those years, I didn’t have to worry about going out to a job since he was my provider. He fixes many things in the home. He helps me often. Just yesterday, I had the freedom to go and pick up my one year old granddaughter to have for a few hours. I then took her over to my parent’s home for a while. They LOVE being with her. Here is my dad carrying her to the car for me. He never wanted my mom to work outside of the home, so he worked hard for many years so my mom could be home full time with us. He told me yesterday that there’s nothing more valuable than a mother home raising her children.

On Tuesday, a friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch with her so we did. Ken has never minded me going out with friends. He trusts me with money and has never said no to anything I’ve ever wanted to buy since he knows I’m not frivolous. I also have time now that my children are all grown up to teach younger women.

Whereas when I had a career, I had to make sure I was at work on time or I’d get in trouble. The stress level was high in order to perform, please my boss, parents, and do a good job. Many nights, I couldn’t sleep because I had some concerns about the next day and then trying to get through it on little sleep. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and had to spend my weekends cleaning, cooking, and shopping for food. Those years felt much more like a prison to me and all for a paycheck? No, thanks.

So, whoever you are, please don’t advocate for me because the more feminists advocate for “their rights” the worse it gets for women. Cultures haven’t gotten better since the women’s rights movement. They’ve gotten worse because children are no longer being raised by their mothers. In Australia, they are advocating for mothers to not even have the choice to stay home because it hurts their economy – not enough people to tax.

“But once a child goes to school, she argued, opting out of the workforce should no longer be an option.

‘Rather than wail about the supposed liberation in a woman’s right to choose to shun paid employment, we should make it a legal requirement that all parents of children of school-age or older are gainfully employed,’ Le Marquand wrote.”

This is what happens when people “hold the truth in unrighteousness” as the Apostle Paul wrote about in Romans 1. They hate God and refuse to live for Him so they rebel against His ways and everything that is good and right. Women, living in submission and yes, even obedience to your husbands isn’t prison. It’s good and godly. Feminists will gladly live in submission and obey their bosses but falsely belief it’s bondage with their husbands. Do you see the hypocrisy? They leave their homes all day for almighty mammon and their children in the care of others. This, too, is foolishness and chasing after the wind.

Should we be surprised that the single biggest factor that is causing Millennials to abandon their faith is the “breakdown of the family” which feminists are responsible for? No. God created us. He gave us roles to fulfill and He knows what’s best for us, which includes mothers raising their children full time and caring for their husbands and homes.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do,
do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

Trying to Stay Visible as Keepers at Home

Trying to Stay Visible as Keepers at Home

The feminists movement of the 1960s began because women felt worthless and invisible. Feminists came along and urged mothers to leave their homes, find careers, make money and a name for themselves. An article written by Leslie Loftus attempts to explain the perplexities of trying to be a stay-at-home mom since feminism. “‘Stay-at-home mom’ became the preferred term for opt-out mothers everywhere precisely because it focused on the children. ‘Housewife’ was too focused on homes and husbands. We were defensive enough rationalizing wasting our education for our children—we weren’t even going to attempt rationalizing that for our marriages. We are women. We’ve got this not only without men, but in spite of them.”

Did you follow that? Feminism hasn’t made women’s life easier; it’s made it more complicated. Women have become ashamed to say they are focused on their homes and husbands but God commands they focus upon them. Focusing solely on the children, as many have done today, is destructive in so many ways, especially for the children and if it ruins marriages from neglect. Then there’s the issue of all the years gaining higher education and most likely careers, yet trying to justify all of this time and money spent when staying home full time with the children. Finally, there’s a dig against men as if men aren’t valuable asset to societies and women don’t need them.

Then when the children are all grown up and gone, the mothers feel invisible and have no idea what to do with themselves. (It happens that I just made a YouTube the other day called Spending My Days as an Older Woman without having a career.) I was one who went to higher education – five and a half years after graduating from high school. I also had a career as a school teacher for three and a half years after that until I was able to come home full time. I never thought to find my identity in my higher education or career. All I ever wanted to do in life was to be married and have children, even though I was steeped in the feminist movement. Schooling and careers never held any sway on me.

Our identities shouldn’t be found in what we decide to do any ways. They are found in Christ, who He says we are, and what He tells us to do. He made it easy for us, women, because He carefully spelled it out in His Word. We don’t need to get involved in “mommy wars” or try to find some false sense of “fulfillment” outside of the home that many women are chasing today.

Leslie also wrote,  “An associate dean of Stanford writes a book on how herding our kids in a higher education rat race stunts their growth, and yet we still persist.” I may have to read this book because I agree. Whether people know or love God or not, they are made in His image and He gave us an instruction manual. He has this to say about worldly wisdom: “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19).  Not every child, male or female, has to go for higher education! There are way more negatives to it these days than positives.

“I think much of the problem is that we bought into the Second Wave idea that the only valued work is paid work.” She’s right. God doesn’t say that making money is the be all and end all. In fact, He warns against the love of money. No, He commands we be Kingdom investors and what greater thing can there be than investing our lives into our husbands, children, and homes?

Her conclusion: “The narrative is this: if you don’t earn a paycheck—complete with Social Security and federal income tax withholding—then what you do is worthless. We secretly believe we are wasting our educations, and that we will be invisible in motherhood.” This right here summarizes the lies women have been fed for far too long. God created you and He created you to marry, bear children and guide the home. You are not invisible to Him and this is all that matters. You are doing Kingdom work.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
Matthew 6:19, 20

Judging Working Women Harshly?

Judging Working Women Harshly?

Women get upset with what I write often, especially when it goes against everything they believe. They must remember, I am not teaching anything to be politically correct. I am teaching biblical principles to women who love the Lord and His ways. You must always keep this in mind when you read what I write. I look at the Word and what it says, then teach what I learn from it, not from my opinions.

Nancy Wolgemuth from Revive Our Hearts did a great series on Titus 2 called Adorned. On one radio program, she said this comment:

“But the priority that God places on the home—this passage assumes that young women will be wives and mothers. It’s not saying if they’re wives and mothers or if they decide they want to get married or if they decide they want to have children, then teach them these things.

There’s an assumption that young women will get married and will have children. At the risk of being truly politically incorrect, could I say this is God’s norm? The implication is, as I look at not only this passage but the whole of Scripture, that as a rule young people are to be purposeful about getting married and about having children.”

I love this statement because it’s exactly what I believe is God’s will. God commands the older women to teach the younger women. He doesn’t say, “Teach the married younger women…” or “Teach the younger women who have children…” He clearly states to teach “the younger women…” God wants women to marry, bear children, and guide the home. He created women to be their husband’s help meet. He created men to need a help meet. It’s His perfect plan but many in our culture despise His plan. I know. I hear about it frequently.

I wrote a post titled “A Day, No Years, Without Men” in the Workforce” with this statement that undoubtedly feminists loved; “Men can easily and often better replace every single job that a woman has in the workforce.” Cultures would come to a quick end without men working hard to protect and provide. Cultures would also come to a quick end if women quit bearing children. Both roles are extremely important for a healthy culture to survive. Neither role is more important than the other one because they are both important but of course I received flak from this post. Here’s just one example.

“Lori, I’m going to disagree with you on this one. Not sure if you’ll post my comment but here goes. Last year I had to go to the hospital for a mammogram. During my conversation with the nurse she informed that only females are hired to do her job. I was glad to hear that. I would not want man to perform that procedure on me. Also, I am thankful that I have the choice to go to a female gynecologist. Some women may not care one way or the other, and that’s fine. I just happen to be appreciative that I have the choice of going to a female gynecologist.”

Essentially you are saying that it is more important for you to have female nurses and doctors rather than their children having them home full time with them to raise, care, and train them? Yes, it’s GREAT that you have a female nurse to give mammograms and have as gynecologists but what about their children, if they have them? You see, I am sure God wants women at home because He cares a whole lot more about marriages being strong and children having a mother home full time with them to raise, nurture, and train them than for you to have female nurses and doctors.

I know some female doctors and they regret being one because they aren’t able to be home full time with their children because of the massive debt they are trying to pay back and all the time and energy they put into getting their degree. It’s a very stressful life for them. I had a male gynecologist who delivered my four children and he was fine. He’d delivered many babies and was very competent. Remember, I’m not trying to solve all of the world’s problems. I am simply teaching godly women what God wants me to teach them.

I had a young woman reach out to me who was in medical training and admitted that all she wanted to be was a wife and mother but was so pressured by her parents to be a doctor. I told her she didn’t need to obey her parents as an adult and if she wanted to be a wife and mother, she should end her pursuit of being a doctor and she did. After reading my blog, she knew that this wasn’t the route that the Lord had called her to pursue any longer. She wanted to be home full time with her children, if she was blessed with them one day. If not, she could adopt or do foster care but she wanted to be a mother.

I have also had nurses tell me that they finally decided that it was a whole lot more important for them to be home with their children full time than being a nurse. They knew that they were replaceable as nurses but not as mothers to their children. God created mothers to be home with their children. He’s the One who gave them a womb, breasts, and the emotional makeup to raise children. Generations are now suffering because they were not being raised by their mothers.

She went on to write, “I was a teacher in the public school system and observed on many occasions that women were more suited in certain areas than men. My daughter works with students with disabilities and has the demeanor and temperament to perform her job quite well. She is not married and yet has a fulfilling, enriched life. Thankfully she didn’t marry the man who claimed to be a Christian, but his life has proven to be otherwise. In the meantime, she has to work in order to live and eat. Women like my daughter fall through the cracks in the model you put forth.”

I was a teacher in the public school system for three and a half years. I was replaceable but not as a mother to my children. This is what should matter to most women in the end, their children, but it doesn’t anymore and this is why God wants the older women to teach the younger women to love their children and be keepers at home. Women have lost their way today and have been hoodwinked by the feminists, unfortunately.

Besides, I’m not sure your daughter would fall through the cracks. The Apostle Paul’s instructions to unmarried women is to be holy in body and spirit. Any single, young women who asks me what they should do with their lives, I encourage them to make sure that when a godly man comes into their life, they are prepared to quit whatever they are doing to marry and have children. As an older woman, I continue to teach younger women how to love their future children by being prepared beforehand to be home with them without having any debt.

“Further, Paul the Apostle elevates the single life above marriage, stating he wishes all were like him. So how are women staying at home the best choice for *all* women *all* the time? I know far too many women whose circumstances dictate something other than the prescription you put forth. I’m afraid you would judge these lovely women harshly.”

The Apostle Paul gave his opinion and he was clear about this, “For I would that all men were even as I myself…” (1 Corinthians 7:7) but God created men to need a help meet so most men do indeed “burn” and want and need a help meet. God made them this way. Yes, there are some who indeed want to spend their lives serving the Lord but it’s few. By the way, it’s not my “prescription.” It’s God prescription and if any women feel judged by it, they will have to take it up with the Lord since I didn’t write the Bible!

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 55:8

“A Day, No Years, Without Men” in the Workforce

“A Day, No Years, Without Men” in the Workforce

A day, no years, without women in the workforce wouldn’t change a thing. Women think they’re invincible in the workforce but they aren’t. Men can easily and often better replace every single job that a woman has in the workforce. Our military would be stronger without women. Our police force would be stronger. Women make these institutions weaker and now we have these “sexual” problems in the military. Duh! This happens when we mix males and females in close quarters for months on ends and far away from home.

Societies would suffer greatly if men decided to take off a day from the workforce and and they would cease to exist if they took off a couple of years. Camille Paglie wrote, “Only a tiny number of women want to enter the trades where most of the nitty-gritty physical work is actually going on—plumbing, electricity, construction. Women have played virtually no role in the erection of those magnificent towers in every major city in the world. It’s men who operate the cranes or set the foundations or wash windows on the 85th floor. It’s men who troop out at 2:00 AM during an ice storm to restore power to neighborhoods where falling trees have brought down live wires. It’s men who mix the stinking, toxic cauldrons to spread steaming hot tar on city roofs. Last year in a nearby town, I drove by a huge, chaotic scene where emergency workers in hazmat suits were struggling with a giant pipe break, as raw sewage was pouring into the street. Of course all those workers up to their knees in a torrent of thick brown water were men! I’ve seen figures indicating that 92 per cent of people killed on the job are men—and it’s precisely because men are heroically doing most of the dangerous jobs in modern society.”

Our society couldn’t operate without men! They are the ones that God has given the muscle mass, testosterone, and strength to accomplish many things women cannot do but need. They are the protectors, inventors, and builders of all cultures and God designed it this way. Women who wanted to be like men were deceived by the enemy of their souls!

On the flip side, cultures have suffered terribly when women decide to leave their God-ordained sphere of influence – the home – and tried to take on men’s jobs. There’s few women left at home bearing and raising the next generation. This is catastrophic on many levels and we are seeing the ugly fruit that it has produced in all the cultures where this is happening. The younger generations have no ability to take care for the aging, much larger generations. Children have lost their way since they are no longer being raised and cared for by their very own mothers. Their mothers have decided their careers and making money is more important than loving their own children.

God has given men clearly defined roles and He has given women clearly defined roles and when they stop doing what they are supposed to be doing cultures die a slow, agonizing death. Go home, women. Tend to your husband, children, and homes. Make them sanctuaries of peace, warmth, and affection for your families. This is the greatest work that you can do because it was given to you by the Creator of everything.

She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27