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Category: Keepers at Home

We Leech Off of Our Husbands?

We Leech Off of Our Husbands?

Many women try to convince me that feminism is all about allowing women to have a “choice” in what they want to do with their lives. If they want to be keepers at home full time, then great! If they want to be career women, then great! BUT I don’t believe them. If this were the case, then young girls, when asked what they wanted to do when they grew up, would be able to freely and easily respond, “Be wives and mothers!” but they are not!

No, this response is frowned upon. “Oh, but what if you never get married? What if your husband dies? What is your back up plan? Surely you want to do more with your life than this!” No, feminism has made women who willingly choose to stay at home feel guilty and unworthy. Making money, having a career, and being independent from a man is the be all and end all for the feminists’ agenda.

There’s a Democrat woman from Arizona, Kyrsten Sinema, who is running for senator. This is a quote from her: “These women who act like staying at home, leeching off their husbands or boyfriends, and just cashing the checks is some sort of feminism because they’re choosing to live that life. That’s b*****t. I mean, what the f*** are we really talking about here?” No, feminism has NEVER encouraged women to be home full time, be dependent upon their husbands, and raise their own children. This is disgusting to many of them, especially the radical feminists. They despise God’s plan for women.

When I read that comment to my husband, I asked him if he’s ever felt like I leeched off of him. He laughingly answered, “Of course! This is the way God designed it to be!” He has always worked hard to provide and I bore and raised our children while caring for the home while he traveled many weeks of the years. I shopped, cooked, cleaned, and decorated the home; making a house into a home. I ran the children to their sports’ and ballet practices and once a week, took them to AWANA. I made sure the children were well-nourished with good food and clean. I washed, folded, and put away laundry. I disciplined our children and taught them the ways of the Lord. I paid the bills and made sure the cars had oil changes, smog checks, and were kept in shape. No, I was no leech! I worked hard in our home. My children were always secure in the knowledge knowing where their mama was and it was mostly in the home.

This is God’s perfect prescription for us! God’s truth is external. It is NOT based on subjective feelings, personal opinions, or experiences. This is why you need to know and study God’s Word, dear woman! Many women today are basing their truth upon their feelings, personal opinions, experiences, or upon what culture is telling them and these all end in disaster.

God’s truth is the anchor for our soul (Hebrews 6:19). We are safe and secure when we live our lives by His truth and NOT by our feelings, personal opinions, experiences, or by culture as most are today. He calls women to be keepers at home and live in submission to their husbands so we don’t blaspheme the word of God. He calls husbands to provide for their families. This is the safest and most secure way for women to live.

I can hear all of the women crying, “But we can’t live on one income these days!” Do you believe God’s character? Do you believe that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills? Do you believe that what He commands He provides? Have you ever thought about stepping out in faith and obeying God then watching Him provide? Have you asked God for wisdom in making a way for you to come home? Have you sought out different options to be able to make money from home? If not, take a step of faith, trust in God’s character, and believe that His commands are for our best!

Do not be conformed to this world any longer. Any woman who is a keeper at home, looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness is NOT a leech. She’s doing exactly what God has called her to do and this is the good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God!

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:2

Where is a Mother’s True Mission Field?

Where is a Mother’s True Mission Field?

Instead of God’s Word causing conviction in many women’s lives, it most often causes them to feel shame and offense. Women who truly love God and His ways aren’t offended by any of His commands! His Word causes conviction and changes behavior in their lives.

Here is a comment I recently received by a woman on one of my posts about being a keeper at home. “I am a godly woman/mom and God blessed me with the gift of teaching. I became a teacher. And, my students became my mission field. I find your articles hurtful and guilt-ridden. This hurts my heart.”

I was blessed with the gift of teaching as well. In fact, I went to college and received my teaching credential. I worked the first two years of my oldest child’s life. I was absolutely exhausted! I felt like I wasn’t a good, wife, or mother. I have asked women who were raised by mothers who were teachers and they felt their mothers gave their all to their students and had little left for them. We weren’t created to hold a full-time job on top of being a wife and mother. Something or someone always suffers.

I asked the women in the chat room how they would respond to this woman. Here are their answers:

 “If she truly feels that this is God’s calling for her, why does she feel guilty?” (Kylene)

“I would simply say, ‘My intention is to share what the Word says. What I teach is not merely my opinion, but God’s clear teachings.’ She isn’t hurt by you. She’s hurt by her own disobedience. Pray she repents and submits to His Word.” (Paige)

“The guilt she is feeling is likely the Holy Spirit. God’s truth is sharper than a two-edged sword. Don’t let Satan use these pathos arguments to dull your ministry. It’s too important!” (Guisel)

 “I think as godly women we are called to serve our families first. She may feel that her students are her ‘mission field’ but this is at the cost of her family. If she is feeling hurt and guilt, I would encourage her to think further about why she is feeling this way.” (Alicia)

 “Teaching other people’s children can be a good thing, but not when you leave your own children to do it. Our first and most important mission field is our own children. We have to prioritize the children specifically entrusted to our care by God. God holds us directly responsible for them. I was also gifted to be a teacher, but God gave me that gift primarily so that I can teach my own children. That is the proper place for my gift to be used.” (Lindsay)

“She should be teaching her own children. Her OWN CHILDREN should be her mission field. She has abandoned her post. No mother should be able to, in good conscience, trade the well-being of her own children to pursue her own gifts. This is why she feels guilty. God might have given her this gift and that is WONDERFUL but it isn’t being used for the kingdom if it’s being used outside his perfect will. She may feel ‘hurt’ but feelings are not the truth. What’s really happening here is conviction.” (Sarah)

“Too many women are looking for a mission field because they don’t think the one God gave them is enough. ‘Mission field’ is also the term used to excuse sending children into secular schools. I think it’s become a common excuse to spiritualize unspiritual choices.” (Tammy)

And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 11:19

Taking a Road Less Traveled

Taking a Road Less Traveled

Written By Emily at Blessed Homemaking

Dear Mothers at Home,

In our current times, we must be aware that this road we have chosen–the path to raise our daughters to be homemakers–is a road less traveled. Many years ago, it was common, and normal, to raise daughters to be keepers at home. The expectation was not that your daughters would be going off to college when they finished their other schooling. The assumption was not that they would need, or even want, to go out and obtain employment away from their families. It was understood that daughters should be, and would be, kept under the sheltering influence of their parents until they were married and then went to be in their husband’s home.

But since the influx of feminism into our culture, and sadly even the Church, we are now met with the questions for our dear daughters, “What is she going to be when she grows up?” “Where is she going to college and what career has she chosen?” We may feel pressured to succumb to these common inquiries and feel coerced to go with the flow of modern culture. We may feel a tinge of guilt. “Am I holding my daughter back by raising her to be a homemaker?”

But we must, as with all things, return to Scripture. What does the Bible say? We know from Titus 2:3-5, that one of our duties as women is to be keepers at home. This is not a “cultural” thing that only applied “back then.” It is just as relevant today as the other virtues listed in those verses. 1 Timothy 5:14 also exhorts the younger women: “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

Along with our other spiritual armor, we must take up the shield of faith every day, and remember that we are taking a road less traveled. We will face opposition. We must expect it and be ready for it. We must not take the questions and criticism to heart, but remember that we are doing what God wants us to do. We must stand strong for the principles in God’s Word and not falter under pressure. And also, we must remember that we are to be a light shining in the darkness for others. Our very example and stance may encourage others in the Church to do the same, and to realize that there is a better path for daughters than careers and college. Take heart, dear ladies, for the Lord is on our side.

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.
Jeremiah 6:16

Problems With Daycare For Children

Problems With Daycare For Children

Just writing out the word “daycare” is heartbreaking to me. Aren’t babies and young children supposed to be in the care of their own mothers during the day? Don’t these children mourn being torn apart from their mothers every morning? Don’t these mothers miss not seeing their children every day five days a week?

What are some other problems with daycare? Let’s examine a few:

First, they cause a MASS spread of illnesses causing parents lost sleep, lost work, taxpayer money for the heathcare provided, and most importantly, a constantly uncomfortably sick child. From the article: “One of the things I found most challenging was that day care seemed to be like a petri dish for bacterial and viral infections. I was warned by other working moms to brace myself for the ‘day care funk.'” No, thank you! I encourage mothers to not even have to think about the ‘day care funk’ by not putting their children into daycare in the first place. A child who is cared for at home by their mother has a much better chance of being healthy and having a healthy immune system which fights illnesses and disease. She has time to fix her child nourishing food. The mother will be able to completely control what their child eats. Babies and young children don’t need sugar. They do fine without any sugar. In fact, they do better!

The children can sleep in as long as they need instead of having to wake up early in the morning. Sleep is vital to good health. The children can also take a long nap or two in the quiet of their own home. Throughout the day, the mother will be by the baby’s side to make sure that what goes into their mouth doesn’t have the saliva of a bunch of other children. They can play freely when they need to play and cuddle with their mama when they want to cuddle. They can go shopping with her and have their mama right by their side throughout every day.

Around six months old until about two years old, a child is extremely attached to their mama. In fact, I was just with one of my grandbabies for my mother’s funeral and this eight month old granddaughter of mine who lives in another state didn’t want anything to do with me. She just wanted her mama and this is completely normal and healthy. It helps grow secure children.

Secondly, you are leaving your baby with a stranger. Why would anyone willingly choose to do this? Mothers say, “Well, I can see them all day long from my phone monitor.” This may be so but the baby can’t see her mother all day long nor can he/she cuddle with their mama like they want to do so badly. A stranger, no matter how wonderful they are, can never take the place of a mother, no, not even a grandma.

Do mothers even consider how many children are abused in daycares? “According to the National Child Abuse and Neglect Data System, more than 3.5 million reports from CPS agencies were received in 2013 alone. These reports involved more than 6.4 million children. The majority of these reports are for neglect, followed by physical abuse, sexual abuse, emotional abuse and medical neglect trailing closely behind.” This right here is enough reason to NEVER put your children into daycare! Strangers don’t love and want to protect the children as much as a mother does. They won’t train them in the ways of the Lord as mothers are commanded to do.

Finally, that stranger that you begin to see everyday while quickly throwing your child in her arms does not care about (love) your child nearly as much as you do. She does it for the money. Watching children is a job. A job that was intended for mothers. Milk literally flows out of every woman’s breast after the delivery of her child when she puts her baby, who is hungry for milk, on her. Even if you don’t let the baby latch on you, you still are producing the best possible nutrients in your breasts for your baby. Please, reconsider trying to end what God has freely given you even if nursing is for only those first few weeks before going back to work. As this article clearly states, “Although both breast-fed and formula-fed babies gain weight and seem to develop similarly, scientists have known for a long time that breast milk contains immune-protective components that make a breast-fed infant’s risk lower for all kinds of illnesses.”

It’s a lot easier to breast feed your baby when you are home full time with them. This is God’s will for mothers! For my first baby, I worked full time the first two years and had to pump by breasts during every break in the bathroom and it was so very unnatural. Mothers should not be away from their babies. Their babies need them. When a mother is home full time and has to get up during the night to breast feed her baby or be up with a sick child, it’s okay if she has lost sleep since she doesn’t have to worry about getting up early and going to work the next day.

Young mothers tell me about their friends who are extremely guilty and heartbroken about leaving their babies all day long in daycare and having to go back to work but they believe this is what they are supposed to do. Society tells them this is what they are supposed to do but does God? No!

This is why God commands older women to teach young women to love their children and be keepers at home. They aren’t going to be hearing this from anyone else if we, older women, aren’t teaching the younger women that being home with their babies and young children is EXACTLY where God wants them to be.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4, 5

Do Young Women Need an Outlet?

Do Young Women Need an Outlet?

A young woman wrote me recently and asked me about doing things from home to make money. She asked me, “Doesn’t every young woman need an outlet?” She wants to be a better housekeeper, cook, and train her children more but these “outlets” have made her life more than she can handle since she is giving too much time to her “outlets.”

God instructs young women to be keepers at home and they should be known for “looking well to the ways of their household and not eating the bread of idleness.” They are to love their husband and children. They are the ones that will do most of the training and disciplining of the children. They need to work hard to have clean and tidy homes along with fixing nourishing food for their families. Unfortunately, something awful has infiltrated young women’s minds today – discontentment for God’s calling on their lives.

They no longer “feel” content just being a wife, mother, and homemaker because our culture tells them that this isn’t enough. No, they need to be able to make some money to have worth and even make a name for themselves. This is such a huge temptation with the Internet these days. Young women are becoming popular because of Facebook and Instagram and use their valuable time on these things that won’t last.

As godly young women, you need to be spending your days on what God has called you to spend it on – being keepers at home and working hard at home. You need to be investing your lives into those things that are eternal – your husband and children. All those “outlets” you may be pursuing that are taking time away from your husband, children, and home aren’t eternal. Money is NOT your worth! What you invest in eternity is your worth to God, namely storing your treasures in heaven.

You don’t need to listen to what the others are telling you. You don’t need to be well-known or popular among people you don’t even know. Spend your time investing in those things that matter to the Lord instead. This will profit your husband and your children way more than any of those “outlets” you are involved in that are stealing your time away from them.

If young women “need” an outlet, how about one that will benefit the family in practical ways like learning to clean your house better, declutter and organize with your children by your side, raise chickens and eat your own eggs, garden, and can your food, learn to sew and make things for your home, learn to cook healthy foods and make them great tasting, and so on. The outlets are endless that you can find in your home that won’t take away valuable time from being with your family!

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Things Women Can’t Stand About Living With Men

Things Women Can’t Stand About Living With Men

There’s an article about five things women can’t stand about living with men and of course, it’s about living with them, not being married to them since marriage is out of date these days and so old-fashioned. I thought it would be interesting to go through these five things that women can’t seem to stand about living with men.

1. Throwing things on the floor and leaving them there.
2. Leaving a dirty bathroom sink and toilet splashes
3. Not enough space for everything
4. Dirty dishes
5. Taking too long to do anything

Do you see that most of them have to do with housekeeping?! This is why my simple handwritten post about housework went viral (shown below)! Women don’t want to have to clean up after their husband/boyfriend (living with a boyfriend is living in sin). This is how marriage is supposed to work, right? He cleans up after himself and I clean up after myself.

No, this isn’t how it’s supposed to work! Yes, according to our culture and “equality” it is but not in God’s economy. He created the wife to be the husband’s help meet and to be the keeper at home. She’s the one who is called to “look well to the ways of her household” and make her husband’s life easier when he gets home from working hard all day. When roles are clearly defined, it’s easy to see who is responsible for picking things up off the floor, cleaning the bathrooms and kitchens, and organizing so everything is neat and tidy.

Don’t allow these “annoyances” to destroy your marriage, dear women. Remember that the greatest of all is the servant of all! Be thankful that you have a husband to care for, to clean up after, and a home to keep clean and tidy. While you are being thankful for all of these things, you won’t have time to complain and allow little things to steal your joy. You will learn to live a selfless life instead of a selfish life.

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
Galatians 5:13

Role Reversal in the Home

Role Reversal in the Home

Is it okay for the woman to be the breadwinner of the family and the husband be the “keeper at home”? I have been asked this numerous times and I know of families that do it this way. I am going to let you hear from Michael Pearl for this answer. Yes, some of it will most likely offend you if you don’t understand God’s clearly defined roles between the sexes and get offended easily. Husbands are the head of the wife and called to provide for and protect their families. Wives are to live in submission to their husband’s leadership and to be keepers at home. Here’s Michael Pearl:

It is never ideal for the woman to be the breadwinner and the man to be the home-keeper for the simple reason that the role reversal (a role dictated by our created natures) places each in a position contrary to their nature. A single woman may fit into the workplace as well as a man. A single man with children may function as the housekeeper, cook, homeschool teacher, etc., and do a fair job of it—all consistent with human nature. But the marriage relationship is unique.

The man by nature is the savior, provider, and protector who braves the cruel world and carries the responsibility to protect and nourish his wife and family. It is in a man’s genes to take the command-and-control position. To become a dependent rather than the provider wreaks havoc on a man’s self-esteem. In our modern world, the one whose name is on the paycheck is the head of all finances, the one to be thanked and appreciated. That person is the fountain of the family, possessing the right of veto over all spending, and controlling the direction of the family where it involves finances.

The one who comes home tired from a day’s work is entitled to the recliner until dinner is served. It is the one who says, “Why aren’t my socks in the drawer?” and “This house is a mess; what have you been doing all day?” The breadwinner decides what kind of bread to eat and whether or not spending is foolish or necessary.*

A bread-winning woman is not vulnerable and finds it difficult to come home and be a submissive, servant wife. To be forced to do so breeds resentment and a feeling of being used. I need not go on; you know these things and more to be true to nature and experience.

But sometimes life throws unnatural curves and turns our world upside-down. We have to make do like a one-legged man. We get around and get along in the best way we can. When a man is disabled and cannot enter the labor force, the wife may be thrown into an unnatural role of breadwinner. Sometimes the children are forced to work to provide for the family. It is not natural but it is necessary.

A dependent man will have to accept a different worldview and a different role. He will have to accept not being fulfilled in the normal manner. And the bread-winning wife will need to learn humility and to try to maintain a feminine demeanor at home, giving deference to the man, allowing him to be a handicapped king in his limited domain. The dependent man will also need to learn humility and to accept his dependency with thanksgiving and grace. Like any unnatural handicap, it will not be easy, but it is entirely manageable, and each can find fulfillment in their role reversals.

However, when a couple reverses roles because the wife is able to make more money, or when the man is lazy and incompetent, or when she just likes to work and he just likes to hang out at home, you can be certain that neither is going to find fulfillment in their relationship, and their marriage is likely to end in the woman divorcing the man.

When both the man and woman are reconciled to the reality that the man is handicapped out of the work force through no choice of his own, and not having to do with incompetence, it takes the edge off of blame and the discomfort of role reversal; but when they both know it is a choice, expect the man to shrink in his self-respect and the woman to grow masculine in her demeanor—leaving the marriage to suffer.

God said to Adam, not Eve, “In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground.” 
Genesis 3:19

Paul declared, “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”
1 Timothy 5:8

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. 
Titus 2:4–5

*I realize these statements will be highly offensive to many women but we must remember to only allow sin and Satan to offend us. These statements are neither. God has made the husband the head over his wife and the wife was created to be his help meet. His responsibility is to provide for the family and her responsibility is to be a keeper at home which includes keeping it clean and tidy, doing the laundry, fixing meals, etc. This is what God has called her to do; to “look well to the ways of her household. A godly wife is a submissive, servant wife and doesn’t get offended by her husband’s requests or rebukes.

Finding Joy in the Mundane

Finding Joy in the Mundane

Written to me by a woman who wants to remain anonymous.

I have been following your blog and Facebook account for some time now, and it initially infuriated me. I am a stay at home mother, and I would not trade a minute of it. However, I went to college, and then to graduate school. I amassed $30,000 in loans to do it. And then I worked. And worked hard, 70 hour weeks seven days a week. At that time, we needed my income to survive, but it was also a source of personal pride in what I’d achieved.

When I became pregnant I quit working, which I’d always planned to do. And I suddenly found myself very depressed. I didn’t spend all that time, energy, and money to change diapers! No, anyone could do that. This was meaningless work and totally unfulfilling personally, although I would never put my child in daycare.

I’ve grappled with this for several months. I read. I studied. I prayed. I consulted older women in my church. And I began to accept that this is my career. This is what I was meant to do. And I began to find joy in the mundane. (Let’s face it, housekeeping and diaper changing can be monotonous). I prayed steadily for the Lord to give me joy in this season and this new role. To take the desire for outside work and career achievements from me. And he has answered me.

I have been so convicted to keep my home, feed my husband, raise, teach, and train my son, and if there be any time else after personal studies, then I add in play dates, excursions, etc., but my first priority is to keep my home and family ordered and maintained. My husband works two jobs for me to stay home, so I don’t take the job lightly. But I admit, in my personal/postpartum depression I was resentful and lazy. He has been so impressed the last few months coming home to a clean house, a happy family, and a hot meal. And his joy in working has improved as a result.

Following the Scriptural plan for your life isn’t always easy. Not when it requires such a drastic change from the life you’d been living/dreaming. But it is always worth it. I did what I was told to do, whether I “wanted” to or not, and the Lord in his grace has also now given me the heart and joy in doing so. Obedience is ALWAYS better.

And Samuel said, Hath the LORD as great delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, and to hearken than the fat of rams.
1 Samuel 15:22

Build Ye Houses and Dwell in Them

Build Ye Houses and Dwell in Them

What were God’s commands to His people when King Nebuchadnezzar carried them away from Jerusalem to Babylon? “Build ye houses, and dwell in them; and plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them; Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished. And seek the peace of the city whither I have caused you to be carried away captives, and pray unto the Lord for it: for in the peace thereof shall ye have peace” (Jeremiah 29:5-7). Dwelling in home, planting gardens, marrying, and bearing children were all part of His wonderful plan for His children even in a foreign and hostile land.

What were the Apostle Paul’s instructions to young women while living in a wicked culture and for young women today? “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4, 5). And what were his instructions to young widows? “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:14). God wants young women to marry, bear children, dwell, and work in their homes even in a culture that hates the Lord as a shining example to the beauty of His ways.

What about barren women? “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD” (Psalm 113:9) from the Song of Hannah. What was the Proverbs 31 woman known for? Was she known for her career choice and how much money she made? No! She was known for looking “well to the ways of her household” (Proverbs 31:27). Her husband and children rise up and call her blessed!

It is abundantly clear what God’s will is for women yet few women are being taught this as they are growing up. Being a keeper at home isn’t even on their radar! So what about the women who are highly educated, have a mountain of debt, and must work to pay it off but want to be home with their children? What should they do? Or how about women who are single with children and want to be home? What about women whose husbands insist they work outside of the home? Do they have no options?

My encouragement to all women who want to come home full time regardless of their circumstances is to pray. Pray. Pray. Lay your burden at the feet of Jesus. Ask Him for wisdom. Let Him know that you now see how important it is for you to be home full time with your children and ask Him if He would make a way for this to happen; for with God ALL things are possible! Then walk in the grace, mercy, and strength that He provides while waiting upon Him.

If you have a mountain of debt and a well paying job, pay it off as soon as possible. This is a tough position to be in. Many will mock you if you tell them you are paying off your debt and leaving your prestigious career to go home full time but you aren’t alone! Many women are finding out how empty their careers are and are choosing to go home to raise their own children. It may take awhile but once you step out in faith and begin to live simply and frugally so you can pay the debt off sooner, God will give you the grace and endurance to accomplish it!

If you are single for some reason, seek ways to make money from home if at all possible. Can you start a daycare to be home with your children? I know women who sell things from home and make good money (the internet has opened up a good resource for this). Tutor children from home. Teach piano or an instrument, if you know how to play one. Remind yourself that nothing is impossible with the Lord, pray daily for wisdom, and ask that He make a way for you to come home.

God’s will for single mothers is to marry, bear children and guide the home. Yes, this verse was written to widows but those who are single through no choice of your own or from poor choices, getting married is a great solution but make sure to marry a man who wants to provide for you so you can stay home full time. Your children need a father, and if you can find a godly man who wants to marry you and provide for you, marry him! This is by far the best solution.

For the mother whose husband wants her to work, figure out how much money you are really bringing home after taxes, the cost of clothing, wear and tear on the car, lack of time to shop frugally and fix meals from scratch at home, and then make a gentle appeal to him. Read “Home By Choice” so you can show him the studies that prove how important it is for mothers to be home with their children. After doing this, keep praying and resting in the Lord’s timing. He is the One who will convict and change your husband’s mind if it is to be so, but make sure you are treating him with respect and kindness. Never grow bitter towards him!

Marriage was created by God. He said that it was not good for man to be alone so He created a help meet for the man. This is all good and a part of God’s wonderful plan for us from the beginning. Marriage and women being keepers at home has become muddied in our culture. Always go back to the word of God for your instructions, dear women, then trust Him to provide what He commands.

For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.
1 John 5:3

The Sphere of a Woman’s Life

The Sphere of a Woman’s Life

In 1996, Dr. John MacArthur taught a series on God’s Patterns for Wives. He went through Proverbs 31 and Titus 2:4, 5. When he finally got to the part about women being keepers at home, he knew it would be controversial since he wrote “now we get down to the nitty-gritty.” I know some of you are frustrated by the way I teach women to be “keepers at home” so I thought I would give you another teaching on this topic from a well-known and solid Bible teacher:

And then, number five, and now we get down to the nitty-gritty. They are to be workers at home. We’ve dealt with the attitudes of a woman, love toward husband, love toward children, wisdom and purity. Now, we turn to the very important issue, the sphere of her responsibility, workers at home, oikourgos, literally a house worker. This is the sphere of a woman’s life. It is her domain. It is her kingdom. It is her realm.

The word is derived from the word “house” and the word “work.” A house worker. It doesn’t simply refer, by the way, to scrubbing floors and cleaning bathrooms and doing that. It simply connotes the idea that the home is the sphere of her labors, whatever they might be. It is not that a woman is to keep busy all the time at home. It doesn’t mean that she can never go out the door. It doesn’t mean that she’s always to be doing menial tasks. But what it does mean is that the home is the sphere of her divine assignment.

She is to be the home keeper, to take care of her husband, to provide for him and for the children, all that they need as they live in that home. Materially, she is to take the resources the husband brings home and translate them into a comfortable and blessed life for her children. She is to take the spiritual things that she knows and learns and to pass them on to her children. She is a keeper at home.

God’s standard is for the wife and mother to work inside the home and not outside. For a mother to get a job outside the home in order to send her children even to a Christian school is to misunderstand her husband’s role as a provider, as well as her own duty to the family. The good training her children receive in the Christian school may be counteracted by her lack of full commitment to the biblical standards for motherhood.

In addition to having less time to work at home and teach and care for her children, a wife working outside the home often has a boss to whom she is responsible for pleasing in the way she dresses and a lot of other matters, complicating the headship of her husband and compromising her own testimony. She is forced to submit to men other than her own husband, likely to become more independent, including financially in fragmenting the unity of the family. She is in the danger of becoming enamored by the business world or whatever world she’s in, and finding less and less satisfaction in her home responsibilities.

Many studies have shown that most children who grow up in homes where the mother works are less secure than in those where mother is always at home. I think that should be obvious. Her presence there, even when the child is in school, is an emotional anchor. Working mothers contribute so often to delinquency and a host of other problems that lead to the decline of the family. It’s not that mothers who stay at home are automatically or categorically more spiritual. Many mothers who have never worked outside the home do very little in the home to strengthen their families: gossiping, watching ungodly and immoral soap operas and a host of other things can be as destructive as a working mother. But a woman’s only opportunity to fulfill God’s plan for her role as wife and mother is in the home.

Now, when children are grown, there is an opportunity for some kind of endeavor outside the home. Certainly, that option is viable, if it doesn’t compromise her as a woman, it doesn’t compromise the headship of her husband, it doesn’t put her under undue temptation, it doesn’t put her in an environment where she is going to be subject to the actions and the words of ungodly men. It may be that when the children are grown she can work part-time; she can even work full-time in an environment which is salutatory to her and which increases her godliness and strengthens her as a wife.

But the home is still her domain. And even widows or women whose husbands have left them are not expected to leave their domain and children to work outside the home. Paul declared this in 1 Timothy 5:8, “If anyone doesn’t provide for his own and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” And this means to provide not only for his family immediately, but his extended family.

If there is, for example, a widow or a woman without a husband by divorce in your family, you should care for her before you force her out to care for herself. If a woman has no husband, no financial resources of her own, the rest of her family or even her children or her grandchildren are to take care of her. They have that responsibility so that she can maintain her responsibility in the family. That’s indicated in the first part of chapter 5 of 1 Timothy. But if she has no one, no male relatives, that 1 Timothy 5 passage says, if she has no male relatives to support her, there might be a female relative who could care for her, according to verse 16. If she has no female relatives, there is nobody to care for her, then the church is obligated to care for her, 1 Timothy 5:16.

The basic premise then is that even a woman without a husband, even a woman who may not have children still has the right to be cared for. I shouldn’t say not have children, but whose children are older, still has the right to be a part of the home. As He was hanging on the cross, Jesus, during the last moments of His life was concerned about His mother. And what He did in John 19 verses 26 and 27 was give her to John to take care of. Why? Well, she was most likely a widow. Joseph had no doubt died before this. Jesus was no longer there to take care of her. His own half-brothers did not believe in Him. He turns His mother over to John.

When a woman obviously still has children at home, her primary obligation is to them. If she has no children or they are grown, she has a responsibility to help teach the younger women and share the insights and wisdom she’s gained from her own walk with the Lord. She should invest her time when she’s older and her children are grown not in working in the world, hopefully sometimes that may have to happen, but investing in younger women.

Now, I realize having said what I’ve said to you tonight, I’m giving you the standard of Scripture. There are a lot of cases that you could bring up. What about this? What about this? What about this? All I can tell you is what the Bible says. You have to use your own wisdom. There may be a situation where a widow has to be employed because the care of her children is not provided by anybody. And frankly, most churches don’t come to the aid of these kinds of people. I thank the Lord that our church does in many, many cases.

There may be a situation where your children are in school and without any compromise to your children or your husband; you can do some part-time work. Many women have become very fruitful working out of their own homes and doing that, much like the Proverbs 31 woman.

But the standard is very clear in Scripture. The sphere of a woman’s influence is to be found in the home. The obvious things, of course, are when mothers go to work when they still have children young, even infants, babies, children who haven’t even gone to school yet, living in their home and they abandon them and turn them over to the care of someone else. Even churches sometimes foster that by starting day care centers for children under school age. Many times women work because they want to maintain a certain economic standard. The sacrifice of children and family for that economic standard is a bad decision.

You say, “What about that woman who is very capable, and competent, and energized, who has an industrious attitude, who’s a very gifted person? She can take care of her household responsibilities because we live in a day when there’s so many great appliances and you’re not out there on a rock beating your dirty clothes out. We have all of that, and she’s got time on her hands, can’t she develop some enterprise?” Of course, that’s what the Proverbs 31 woman did, of course.

The focal point: she provides for her husband expressions of love and care. She provides the same for her children. She leads and guides and teaches her children so that they can become godly children. She is in the home, secure, and protected, and kept from the influence of evil men and potentially wicked relationships. She lodges strangers. She humbly washes saints’ feet. She shows hospitality. She devotes herself to every good work. And that’s her domain.

Obviously, this is wondrously accommodated by a godly husband, right? It becomes very difficult when you don’t have a faithful husband. It is at that point the extended family steps in to help. If there’s no extended family to help, at that point the church steps in to help so that having lost a father, the children don’t also lose a mother. This is the church’s responsibility.

Vivian Gornick, a feminist author, writes, “Being a housewife is an illegitimate profession. The choice to serve and be protected and planned toward being a family maker is a choice that shouldn’t exist, and the heart of radical feminism is to change that.” End quote. Of course. Whatever God says, they want to unsay.

In New Testament times, as in Old Testament times, a woman in a home had to grind flour, bake everything from scratch, launder, cook, nurse and care for children, make beds, spin, weave, keep house, care for guests. And in the same time and with the full energy and commitment, devote herself to express her love to her husband, to her children and to God Himself. A tremendous assignment.

You say, “Why in the world does God want women to be so busy?” At the risk of sounding trite, it keeps them out of sin. Proverbs 7:11 gives a startling picture of a harlot. It says this about a harlot: “She is boisterous and rebellious, and her feet do not remain at home.” She doesn’t find her home sufficiently fulfilling. She needs something else, and that leads her into sin.

To most of our society, this is all absolutely ridiculous stuff. And we get so engulfed in this kind of thinking because of the society around us that it may even seem a little strange to us, but this is the Word of God. Godly women are to be content at home, and to be content to love their children and love their husbands and serve their families in their homes and serve the Lord.

One of the most wonderful things that the church has ever experienced is the ministry of women. All of the tests and the studies and surveys indicate that about 60 percent of all church life is cared for by women. Evangelical churches are populated by women. They say about 37 percent of evangelical churches are men. The church has always benefited by godly women who work in the home, and when they have time they minister on behalf of the church. And as women abandon the home for the world, they also abandon the church.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27