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Category: Keepers at Home

The Mother is the One Supreme Asset of National Life

The Mother is the One Supreme Asset of National Life

You would think I was evil for teaching younger women to be keepers at home and that mothers should be home for their children full time. This topic makes many women angriest, by far, of all the things that I write. They must not believe children are better with their mothers. They must not trust God enough to provide for them if they come home.

Many believe they find satisfaction and fulfillment from a career. They think widows still should work full time even though their poor children have lost their father. Now, they must lose their mother to a full time job? They don’t understand that children who are raised with their mothers are emotionally more stable and secure in life. They believe a mother giving more time to a career is more important than giving more time to their own children. I don’t get it.

Is this cruel of me to have concern for the children? How about the marriages of these working women since the husbands usually are the ones that are neglected the most? Lastly, what about the mothers who are exhausted from trying to work full time, take care of their homes, and be with their children. Do I not care about them? Of course I do.

One woman wrote me and told me to stop teaching women to be keepers at home because no one is listening and no one cares. Another woman wrote an entire post on her blog about how far off I am for teaching this. Well, I will stand before God someday and He is the only one that I will have to give an answer for what I teach women.

Women write me and tell me they are home full time with their children now from reading my blog and they are thankful. Others have told me they are praying that their husbands will change their minds and allow them to come home full time. (I will never understand why some men want someone other than their wives, the mother of their children, to raise their children.) Some are asking the Lord for wisdom in finding a way to make some money from home. Yes, women are listening and some care. It makes sense compared to the nonsense they’ve been listening to their entire lives.

“I want my daughters to grow up to be doctors, lawyers, or whatever they want.” Yes, if this is what you want your daughters to grow up to be and have a stress-filled life with a lot of debt, go for it. After many years in school, then college, then medical school, and finally residency, they will be in their 30s most likely.

While you are having a daughter who is a doctor, I would much rather have a daughter who is having children and is home full time with them. Children are more valuable to me and to the Lord than any career can be. Any career can be filled with someone else but being a mother to a child can not be. Our values have been completely mixed up today.

As President Theodore Roosevelt said, “The mother is the one supreme asset of national life; she is more important by far than the successful statesman or businessman or artist or scientist.” Presidents of old felt this way, whereas President Obama said this while he was in office: “In a speech in Rhode Island in October, President Obama offered his views about child care in a society where many parents have to make difficult choices: ‘Sometimes, someone, usually mom, leaves the workplace to stay home with the kids, which then leaves her earning a lower wage for the rest of her life as a result. And that’s not a choice we want Americans to make'” as if her earning power is more important than being home with her children.

Go back to where the Bible calls mothers to be and realize your importance there.

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:26, 27

Grandmothers Need to Be Keepers at Home

Grandmothers Need to Be Keepers at Home

Older women are told to teach young women to be keepers at home but what about grandmothers? Are they to be keepers at home? Here is how God’s Word defines the role of older women:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women…(Titus 2:3, 4).

Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work (1 Timothy 5:10).

I don’t see anything about having careers or living as one pleases or for pleasure in these verses. Yet many older women go back to careers once their children are raised, go on vacations, and keep themselves doing things they want to do instead of what God has instructed them to do.

In the dim and distant past
When life’s tempo wasn’t fast
Grandma used to rock and knit
Crochet tat and baby-sit

When the kids were in a jam
They could always count on Gram
In the age of gracious living
Grandma was the gal for giving

Grandma now is in the gym
Exercising to keep slim
She’s out touring with the bunch
Taking clients out to lunch

Driving north to ski or curl
All her days are in a whirl
Nothing seems to stop or block her
Now that Grandma’s off her rocker

– Anonymous

Right after my children were born, my mother came and lived with us for two weeks. She did this for my sisters, too. When I was so sick all of those years, she was the first one at my home to help in any way she could. My first baby had colic so when I was overwhelmed, I would go to my mom’s home and she would take over walking and rocking the baby. She’s always been there for us and this is the way it should be. I have been blessed and am thankful for a mother like her.

My youngest daughter just had that cute baby in the picture. The day she was in labor, I was on a plane to go take care of her and her family. She has a toddler and a busy husband. I cooked, cleaned, rocked, shopped, babysat, and did whatever she needed from me. I wasn’t able to do this with her last one because I was so ill but it’s a huge blessing that I felt well enough to go this time. Her life would have been much more difficult if I wasn’t there to help.

My older son and his family live near us. We babysit their three children whenever they need us. They went on a week-long trip and we watched their children. When they are sick, I will cook them meals, help clean, or even bring the children to my home so my son and his wife can have time to get well.

This is God’s intended purpose for older women and many young women are suffering because their mothers and/or older women aren’t available to help them. Yes, grandmothers need to be keepers at home, too.

For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another.
Galatians 5:13

Making a Name for Ourselves in Cyberspace

Making a Name for Ourselves in Cyberspace

There are many young “Christian” women bloggers these days who have huge followings. They write books and speak at conferences even though they are married and have children. Is this what God has called them to do? No, God has called them first and foremost to be a help meet to their husbands and then a mother to their children and finally, a keeper at home.

It’s heady stuff having a lot of people reading what you’re writing. Yes, I have a taste of it but I have to be so careful to not allow it to consume me, even though my children are all grown up and it’s only my husband and me at home now. I still need to make sure I am a help meet to my husband and a keeper at home along with being a grandmother who is available to my grandchildren and daughter to my aging parents. I am thankful that I didn’t have this cyberspace ministry opportunity when I had children in the home because it is very time consuming.

My husband often reads what I write, comments, takes any emails or comments from men, and has even written some posts. He, at any time, can tell me to take down a post or change comments and I will but he gives me the freedom to write what I write and study. He knows that I am instructed to teach young women biblical womanhood according to Titus 2:3-5 and is thankful for the ministry the Lord has blessed me with. Every morning during our devotions, he prays over me and my ministry. God has given this ministry to the “aged women” for a reason. Everything the Lord does is for a good reason.

Denise Sproul  in her book Tending Your Garden had some very good words for women who are finding ministries apart from their husbands.

It sort of helps to see the foolishness of wives seeking their own glory and identity when you imagine the church, as the bride of Christ, trying to do the same thing. How absurd! What identity would the church have on its own without the Bridegroom? Silly, isn’t it, when woman is already joined to a man and blessed because of it that she would seek to loose herself and try to do her own thing and be admired for it.

Our “glory” as women, like the church, is wrapped up not in making a name for ourselves, but making a name for our husbands under Christ. Our identity should be in him and Him…am I acting in such a way them my husband can trust me? Am I doing him good and not harm all the days of his life? Is my husband known in the gates and does he sit among the elders of the land?

Consider the temptation for women to seek their own identities and followings on the Internet. It seems that many women attempt to make a platform for themselves and their own teaching which is quite separate from assisting their husbands in their callings. Aside from the myriad problems of setting oneself up as a teacher of others, under no ecclesiastical authority to do so (which is certainly not something only grabbed by women), it boggles the mind to think of the time these women devote to their blogs, websites, and commenting on other sites.

It is necessary for women to fight the temptation to want to make a name for themselves, even if it is only in cyberspace. And women should be very careful not to justify the time and energy they spend in such pursuits by saying that they are just helping their husband and doing so under his authority. Those women who truly are doing that are out there, but they are few and far between.

Mothers, your work in the home with your husband and children is invaluable. You are doing a great work so don’t be tempted to leave (even emotionally and mentally through cyberspace) this God-ordained work in pursuit of name recognition, fame, and/or money even if you think it is your “calling.” Nothing is more important than the work you do within the home for your family.

And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?
Nehemiah 6:3

Thanking God for Simple Pleasures

Thanking God for Simple Pleasures

I love my life.

I really do.

What I love most may seem boring to many, and possibly absurd to others. But still, I love everything the Lord has given me—especially the simple, daily pleasures many miss because we think we deserve any good we receive.

I love sunny days because they remind me of the warmth and awesomeness of God’s grace; His face that cannot be seen by any human lest we be destroyed. I love cloudy days because they remind me of the cool covering and gentle relief of God’s mercy.

I love that though my body is severely broken, weak, and in constant pain, my Father gives me the strength to get out of bed. And if that weren’t good enough (which it is), because my Father is so generous in His love toward me because of Christ, I get to do other “ordinary” tasks. I get to wash laundry for my household. I get to fold clothes and put them away. I get to hem tears and sew buttons. I get to be a diligent keeper of my home with weekly dusting, sanitizing, toilet bowl cleaning, and so much more. I get to seasonally plant beautiful and aromatic flowers in my front yard to display the beauty of God’s creation to all who pass by. And if the Lord provides opportunities, share the  Gospel with all who linger. I get to decorate my home, simply and comfortably so that all who enter, sense God’s peace abides here. I get to plan weekly menus, learn about different foods, herbs, and spices and their nutritious values so I can shop wisely to ensure my family is enjoying healthy and delicious food, while remaining a good steward of all that God has given us. I get to cook for my family and precious brothers and sisters in the Lord whom I deeply love and enjoy serving.

This may all seem dull and mundane to many, but I’m so enthralled with the awesome work of God that enables me to do all these things—they are quite exciting and joyous to my soul. Proverbs 27:7 and Matthew 6:33 are true. When you’re hungry for the holiness and goodness of God to be displayed in your life, you’re consumed with honoring and pleasing Him above all else. And this makes even the bitter things in this life…sweet. But when I have my moments (and I do); when selfishness creeps into every crevice of my heart and mind, because I’m full of myself, I loathe and complain about any kindness shown to me.

This is why I love that God grants me a multitude of opportunities daily, to demonstrate my immense gratitude to Him for giving me His Son, by serving and loving others in accordance with His Word. I love that I have this great freedom in Christ because I’ve been set free from the bondage of my sinful flesh. I no longer have to seek my own good, because I trust in His steadfast love and faithfulness to give me far better than I deserve. I trust my Father to discipline me when I stray, to rebuke me in my rebellion, and to grant me forgiveness and mercy in my repentance. I trust my Lord to bless me with His pleasure as I seek His face and to exalt His name rather seek and exalt my own. Oh what joy! Oh what incomprehensible bliss it is to know Christ and be known by Him!

Though it is nice when people are kind to me, thoughtful of my pitiful plight, and refresh my soul with altruistic fellowship; my daily joy and happiness does not depend them or my circumstances. The fullness of my contentment is solely dependent upon the Son of God who loved me and gave Himself for me.

As every man hath received the gift, even so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God; if any man minister, let him do it as of the ability which God giveth: that God in all things may be glorified through Jesus Christ, to whom be praise and dominion for ever and ever. Amen.
1 Peter 4:10, 11

Mothers are Happier as Homemakers. Surprise!

Mothers are Happier as Homemakers. Surprise!

There was a time when the prophet Elijah was grief-stricken and thought he was the only one who worshiped the one true God. “Lord, they have killed thy prophets, and digged down thine altars; and I am left alone, and they seek my life” (Romans 11:3). How did God respond to him? “I have reserved to myself seven thousand men, who have not bowed the knee to the image of Baal” (Romans 11:4). There will ALWAYS be a remnant, women. “Even so then at this present time also there is a remnant according to the election of grace” (Romans 11:5) and it’s always a time of rejoicing when we remind ourselves of this fact!

There was an article written on the Daily Wire that asked, “Are Mothers Happier Being Homemakers or Working Full Time?” which stated, “Despite the onslaught of propaganda telling young girls otherwise, a recent research paper distilling data from over 30 European countries concluded that mothers find homemaking preferable to working full-time.”

Many women feel very alone in being full-time homemakers and mothers. They don’t have many, if any, friends. The homes in their neighborhoods sit empty all day long while they alone are busy in their homes raising their children.

While reading the comments on Ben Shapiro’s Facebook page where he shared this article, you will definitely see a remnant who values the things that God values. Yes, I will share a few negative comments as well.

Here is the most popular comment with close to 3,000 likes written by Marsha: “I would have killed to have the traditional family. Father working. Mother at home raising the children and keeping the household intact. Clean house. Home-made meals. Children taken care of by a mother and not a babysitter. This is the way it was supposed to be before women’s liberation became popular and ruined everything.” (A hearty amen!)

 Dean: “The death of the nuclear family is a major reason why there is so much confusion and also crime. In my opinion, it is women who choose to be stay-at-home moms who have a very fulfilling life taking care of their family.” (I love to see men chip in with wisdom!)

Maria: “I have just come to a realization that I am fine concentrating 100% on my kids, my husband, and running my home as my ‘career’ at the moment. I tried it the other way and worked outside of the home but there was never any balance. Either the kids and the household lacks attention or it’s going to be your career or profession that you’re in. I have chosen my kids, husband, and our home full time. Now my situation could be different because I have five kids and maybe someone can do it if they have one maybe even two kids but I think that would be difficult enough and something’s always going to be lacking your full attention.”

Natalie: “Depends on how a woman defines happiness. If she’s materialistic and wants things, it’s a job. If it’s nurturing and watching your children grow and develop, it’s a homemaker. It’s really dependent upon the woman’s values.” (Of course, she got nailed by the feminists who read her comment who value their own happiness over what is best for their children.)

Abigail: “Loved staying home and raising our babies. We went without a lot. I invented refrigerator soup. That’s when you take bits and pieces from the fridge and make soup. Once, we had one catfish fillet to feed all five of us. It made great soup! Happiest days of my life: raising three kids on no money, but loads of love! The kids are gone, but the love remains…” (Her family was blessed!)

Monica: “I have done both, and can say with great conviction that I was happier staying home with my kids. I hate working outside the home. I stayed at home when my older two were younger, but had to work when my youngest was younger. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much of her life. It makes me sad….” (I missed out on the first two years of my oldest daughter’s life and will always regret this.)

Lisa: “I would be happier (and am) working full time. I was not meant to be a mom even though I am. I need the break from my kid. But I would like it if one parent could stay home. I think a lot of problems in the world are caused by both parents working.” (Yes, Lisa, you are the one that God has called to be home full time and you were created to be a mom since you have children.)

Mona: “I loved being a wife, mother, caregiver, seamstress, lover, nurse, teacher and cook. I think my children benefited from me always being there for them. They have grown into parents themselves and make sacrifices for their children as I did.” (They absolutely benefited!)

Linda: “I always wanted to be a stay at home mother and wife. But feminism has forced women into the workplace (financially), and shamed them if they did decide to stay at home. Pretty sad that the ‘be who you want to be’ feminists don’t really mean what they say. You fit in their ‘box’ or you’re unacceptable. That and women are also forced by men that decided it was easier on them if the women worked. Just saying….” (She nailed it with this one, sadly.)

Stephen: “It’s not that they are happier being stay-at-home moms, working full-time, or doing a combination of both lifestyles. It’s a cultural war that has made it not honorable for women to want to stay home and raise children. Maybe I’m an on old fashioned misogynist but I can’t think of anything more honorable than a mother being a mother raising strong well-adjusted children.” (No, Stephen, you are not an “old fashioned misogynist.” You are a wise man who wrote truth.)

Melissa: “Bull – Every woman is different. Some enjoy being stay at home mothers – finding fulfillment that way. However, I know that I was not happy staying home full time- was bored out of my mind and felt like I was cut off from the rest of the world. I also had problems with not having my ‘own’ money. Money I didn’t have to feel guilty about spending. Guess I’m too independent.” (This is why God has commanded that older women teach the young women to love their children and be keepers at home since He knows that many will rebel against this and live their lives selfishly for themselves instead of what is best for their families.)

Lizzie: “I tried being a SAHM and hated every minute of it. I’m a better mom, wife, and all around person when I work! So to the the people who say “I’ve never met a mom who didn’t enjoy being a homemaker overall…’ maybe you should get out more.” (This is a make believe world she is living in if she thinks that she’s a better wife and mother by being away from her home and children all day long.  God is the one who created her to be a keeper at home regardless of what she wants.)

Tara: “Everything isn’t always about being happy in life and that’s why so many people are depressed. They’re fed this lie that every woman is supposed to have white teeth, no grey hair, be perfectly toned and have amazing clothes. That’s not what life is all about. This is an illusion the media has fed us over and over again. Life is a struggle with some happiness thrown in. It’s about what’s right and raising your own children and doing your own housework instead of letting someone else do it for you and is the most important job for a woman IMO. Yes it might not be rainbows and unicorns most of the time but it’s the way it’s supposed to be for you & your children.” (Amen, but happiness is a choice and as believers in Jesus Christ, we should choose to be happy; for happy is that people, whose God is the LORD! – Psalm 144:15)

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

Housework is Good For You!

Housework is Good For You!

Yes, housework is good for us. It’s what God created for us to do! Everything God created is for our good. It doesn’t mean it will be easy or won’t involve suffering but it’s good.

“It’s probably not the most popular piece of health advice ever dished out – but researchers say that doing the housework can add years to your life.

They found that women who clean, hoover and do the laundry are likely to live almost three years longer.

But men can breathe a sigh of relief – housework appears to have little effect on them. They are better off in the garden, according to research by Dutch academics.”

Exercise and moving is what we were created to do. There are many warnings in the Bible against being idle. The place that God created women to work hard is in their homes. There is no excuse for any of us to have filthy, cluttered homes. As your children age, you must teach them to work hard picking up after themselves and helping with housework.

Scientific studies are now proving that the lack of exercise and being a couch potato is bad for us! “A recent study published in The Journal of the American College of Cardiology found that men who reported spending two or more hours per day sitting in front of a television had twice the risk of having a heart attack or cardiac ‘event’ than the men who reported watching less television. And men who said they spent four or more hours being sedentary had a 50% higher chance of dying from any cause. Exercise did not negate the risks associated with the hours of television watching. There are multiple other studies that found similar results.”

When you think about how hard the homemakers of old had to work in their homes, it puts us to shame! They didn’t have the luxuries, conveniences, and time wasters (TV, iPhones, and computers) like we have and many would starve if they didn’t work hard.

My neighbor is a fantastic housekeeper. Ken went over to help her and her husband move some boxes and she said to Ken, “I love cleaning my home because I know I’m working my muscles and getting exercise!” If we work hard in our home, we don’t need to go to the gym to get exercise. We get it right in our homes!

Lately, I’ve been working hard decluttering my home. I’ve decluttered and organized my pantry, kitchen cupboards, garage, bathroom cupboards, and closets. I’ve been taking things to the local Goodwill to give away and throwing other things away. I love a clean, organized, and decluttered home. Yes, it takes work but as I am doing it, I remind myself how good this is for me and the results are beautiful!

Clean your home heartily, as unto the Lord, as if Christ was a frequent visitor because He is, you know; for when you are cleaning your home and working hard in it, you are serving the Lord!

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:23

Wifely Extravagance Destroys Homes

Wifely Extravagance Destroys Homes

“Wifely thriftlessness and extravagance have destroyed the happiness of many a household and wrecked many a home. On the other hand, many a man owes his prosperity to his wife’s prudence and her wise administration of household affairs.” (JR Miller) In pondering this statement, I thought about all of the women who are marrying their husbands with a boatload of debt due to their college education. They failed to ever consider what a burden this would place upon their future husbands. Concerning college education, women must learn to count the cost and decide whether it will be worth saddling their husbands with debt. The answer is usually “no” unless they can do it without any debt.

If your goal in life is to be a wife and mother even from a young age, you need to consider this carefully and prepare for it. When I went to college, it was very inexpensive. I didn’t want to go but my dad wanted me to go and thankfully, I had no debt when I graduated. I was taught to always live below my means and I have always lived this way. I take seriously the admonition in the Word of God to “owe no many anything” (Romans 13:8).

Beginning a marriage with a ton of debt is Satan’s trap to keep women out of their homes and not having children. There are way too many young women who can’t be home with their children because they are paying off their college debt. This is preposterous! Their children need them home yet young women are forbidden from expressing the desire to be wives and mothers (even in the churches, sadly) when they are young, therefore, they fail to prepare for this. God’s will is for young women to marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14). Now, we have all of these children growing up without their mothers. Tragic.

We need to prepare our daughters for marriage way before they get married. We need to teach them to enjoy keeping clean and tidy homes. We need to let them see that this is the best job in the world since they won’t hear it anywhere else. They need to be taught to live simply and contentedly with what they have and within their husband’s income. They don’t need the latest fashions, expensive vacations, manicures, and spa days.  If you model contentment in your home to your daughters, they will pick up on it.

Oh, but many will tell me that there’s no way that a family can live on one income these days. Most likely, it’s because they didn’t plan on doing this early in life. One must be taught to live within one’s means and not get into debt with college and credit cards. It’s called saving up the money before you buy something. This is something our generation has completely lost. They falsely believe they NEED an iPhone, cable, and all of the other luxuries we have today. Yes, they are luxuries and they aren’t worth leaving your children in the care of others to raise.

With God all things are possible and he wants mothers to be home full time with their children. He has told us that women who aren’t keepers at home “blaspheme his word” and as godly women, we sure don’t want to do that! Here is how a mother of seven children stays home by working hard in her home:

 “I stay at home with seven children and counting and love, love, love it! I try every day to cook good meals on a small budget. It is a lot of work to be able to feed a large family without going overboard. Several years ago, I started making foods from scratch and shopping sales and really paying attention to processed food and what I was providing for my family. It has saved us so much money! My husband doesn’t make a lot but is happy when I have his lunch ready for him to take to work every morning. My homeschooled children cook with me every day and are healthy and satisfied. I freeze and can and do all that I can to make sure that we are doing the best with our food budget. My husband leaves every morning to make this money for us and I’m going do my best with it!”

Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathers by labor shall increase.
Proverbs 13:11

The House Sits Empty All Week Long

The House Sits Empty All Week Long

Written by Kate Singh (with some of my additions which I believe are biblical in italics)

The house is empty all week. It just sits there. A $1,700 to $3,000 mortgage (oh yes, in Northern California, yes). No one uses it really. Everyone works 60 hour weeks to pay for a home they don’t use. They have a yard that has grass, nothing really living and producing. Just water wasting grass that is another thing to deal with on the weekends. They have dogs that don’t get walked and live in the empty house all day staring out the slider at the grass. They have children they never have time for. When? Between shoving toast in their hands and pushing them out of the car to the school or daycare where God knows what they go through all day because when the parents get home there is so much to do to get ready for the next day of hell they don’t have time to talk or even tune into the child and see that they may be struggling or suffering at school or the daycare. On the weekends there are too many chores and then the child is forced into a packed schedule of classes then too. Ballet, music, soccer, softball.

Schedules are packed, parents are both in careers, kids live in schools and after school programs. Homes are empty; dogs and cats are lonely. People are depressed. Addictions and alcoholism are high. The big Pharma are pushing a new depression pill weekly. I’ve seen them on TV. I find it ironic that the medication that is specifically for depression have a disclaimer that it “may cause suicidal thoughts or actions.” Hummmm. I don’t think that happy pills are supposed to give you the overwhelming desire to off yourself.

Our country is a mess. We have built all the towns for cars. We are slaves to the car. Look at suburbia and the strip malls. We drive everywhere. We go to dirty, crowded box stores to find a deal. We work jobs we detest…jobs that make us drink a lot on the weekends to forget the misery waiting for us on Monday. Our children hate us by puberty. They have been trying to get our attention for years. Now they are just done with us.

Ask yourself if it is all worth it? Are you happy? Is that house, those cars, the expensive vacation, the classes, the over scheduling, the technology, the Ivy League degree…is it worth it? Are you thriving and living in the present?

What if you could work a job (keeper at home) you really believed in? A job that meant something. What if you had hours in the day to be with your family and weekends were spent going to the beach or forest? What if one of the parents stayed home (the mothers since they are the ones that God calls to be keepers at home) and cooked from scratch, baked weekly, was there when the kids got off school (or better yet, homeschooled them and was home with them all day) and walked the dog daily? What if the yard was filled with vegetable gardens and fruit trees? What if you could be with your children all day (that might not be dreamy for some) – (even if it’s not “dreamy,” it’s what God calls them to do)?

I’ve done the 3 jobs, the office manager, the 3-hour commutes, the city life, the night school. It never amounted to much for me except stress and misery.

My mother was a feminist, well-educated, attorney. She was miserable. She wanted nothing more than to stay home and garden, cook, and write. She would be disgusted with me at being a proud housewife…and she would be extremely envious. (The confused nature of feminism because it’s contrary to our God created DNA.)

Nothing is more important than family happiness and well being. (God’s ways are the only thing that bring true and lasting happiness.) I feel strongly that if you have chosen to have a family then you have chosen your career (YES!). Period. You can not work two careers and succeed at both. One or the other. This is not a call for us to go back to oppressive times or forget our fight for equal rights and voting (yes, it is since you can forget everything feminism accomplished because all it did was drive a wedge between men and women). Goodness, the man can stay home for all I care. (No, he can’t since it’s women that God has called to be keepers at home. Men are called to be the providers and protectors regardless of how we “feel” about it.) But if you choose a family (which you should if God blesses you with children), you must make a choice of work or home (home is the only choice)…one of you (the woman who has the womb, breasts, and bore the children) that is.

People that both work and have families don’t have true peace and happiness. They can’t really enjoy the children and their homes aren’t truly clean and tidy or run efficiently. And who can cook from scratch after work?

Women that complain about staying home need to just stop. (Amen!) It is a blessing that some mothers don’t have (sadly, but with God all things are possible). Some women are single parents and don’t have this luxury (I know some who do – keep asking the Lord to make a way). They would give their right arm to not have that painful task of dumping their child off at a daycare and have their heartache all day wondering if the baby is being treated well. (They may not have to give their right arm if they seek the Lord and pursue options to be able to stay home.)

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

MacArthur, Piper, and Baucham on Keepers at Home

MacArthur, Piper, and Baucham on Keepers at Home

“She is to the home keeper, to take care of her husband, to provide for him and for the children, all that they need as they live in that home. Materially, she is to take the resources the husband brings home and translate them into a comfortable and blessed life for her children. She is to take the spiritual things that she knows and learns and to pass them on to her children. She is a keeper at home. God’s standard is for the wife and mother to work inside the home and not outside. For a mother to get a job outside the home in order to send her children even to a Christian school is to misunderstand her husband’s role as a provider, as well as her own duty to the family.

“Godly women are to be content at home, and to be content to love their children and love their husbands and serve their families in their homes and serve the Lord. One of the most wonderful things that the church has ever experienced is the ministry of women. All of the tests and the studies and surveys indicate that about 60 percent of all church life is cared for by women. Evangelical churches are populated by women. They say about 37 percent of evangelical churches are men. The church has always benefited by godly women who work in the home, and when they have time they minister on behalf of the church. And as women abandon the home for the world, they also abandon the church.” (John MacArthur)

“What children need at age one, five, six, fourteen, eighteen is simply amazing, and so is what those needs call forth from a woman’s creativity and heart and mind, personally for each one of these little ones that are coming along.

“And, just being able to focus on the home where ministry can happen—not being enslaved by anybody’s clock—you can say, ‘I want to work my tail off for King Jesus, but I don’t want anybody to pay me for it. I’m going to do it right here in this neighborhood with my husband’s connections and my connections. We’re going to lavish grace on people’s lives.’

“So, I’m calling for ministry full-time when I say ‘don’t work full-time if you have a family.’ Turn your family into ministry. Turn your family into a global dream for what this family might become, or what this man might be, or what we might be together as we are home” (John Piper)

Finally, in 2008, Voddie Baucham appeared on CNN when Sarah Palin was running as a Vice President and was asked about women not even being able to preach yet Sarah was running for the second top position in our land. Pastor Baucham brought up the passage in Isaiah about the evil of women ruling and this was when Deborah ruled, during an evil time in Israel’s history. He also boldly proclaimed that Mrs. Palin should be a keeper at home. He is very strong on obeying the clear teachings of God’s Word along with John MacArthur and John Piper which I appreciate very much!

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Finding a Way to Come Home Full Time

Finding a Way to Come Home Full Time

Written by Genevieve Greenwood

It’s funny how life works out sometimes.

I had been in the work force since I was about 12. My first job was babysitting my little cousin full time. Later, fast food then management, then call centers and eventually banking. I had a decent job dealing with credit card identity and transactional fraud.

My oldest child has autism, Tourette syndrome, and a host of other medical issues. I’ve always dealt with his medical needs personally, and it did make me a far less reliable worker. I had taken on this role of his primary medical advocate because it felt natural and because my husband’s more lucrative career was far less flexible.

After my second child, I went back to work when she was just seven months old. Honestly, before going in for my first shift back, I thought I would do fine! My own feelings of anxiety and missing my baby girl who was still nursing caught me completely by surprise. I felt a sadness, almost grief, from being forced away from my baby girl so soon, beyond what I can describe. It lasted a moment, during which I couldn’t breathe but perceived necessity pushed me forward so I trudged on.

Eventually, caring for a special needs child, a young baby, being away from the children, and postpartum depression took a huge toll on me. I suffered burn out and had to leave my job. I firmly believe the separation from my young baby was the trigger of my postpartum depression.

At first, my husband and I both fought the idea of me staying home. I worked all weekend at a corner store up the street. I had a cleaning gig. I took in extra children. I groomed dogs with my amazing mother in law. I did all kinds of things to bring in money at the detriment of my home, my children, and my relationship with the most amazing man I’ve ever met.

But especially when my son started going to public school (both children are home schooled now), we started really understanding that we needed a parent at home full time. Our son was very often sick and couldn’t go to school. He always had (and still has) numerous appointments with doctors, and has a lot of “bad days”. Some days, his emotional state made it too difficult for him to leave home. I had to be there for him.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think I started to really recover from my burnout until I came back home to my little girl and my little man. Even though I’d been seeing a doctor and getting treatment for my illness for months prior, it’s only when I’m home and being their mother FULLY that I had those healing moments. I’m not good at reading all the messages God sends me, but I think this is where He wants me to be.

But what about money?

We had gone from “this is impossible” to “now we have to do it.”

We had already declared bankruptcy. We weren’t making it from month to month. How can we possibly make this work?

First thing about that: We don’t have it all figured out. We have it way more figured out than we used to, though! And I want to help other families who think they just can’t afford to live on a single income. And I really want to share the lessons God has been teaching me through this process.

1- Organize your life. Do your wife job, let him do his husband job, and never the two shall meet. Being organized in your roles will help you both immensely feel respectively less burdened. Once you both know exactly what you have to do, then nothing gets forgotten or neglected. A husband feels better about coming home when he knows he won’t be ambushed at the door with a list of chores. A wife will feel better about doing her chores if she knows she doesn’t have to work 10 hours the next day. Each of you should have ONE JOB. There should be a wife/homemaker and a husband/provider. If you both have too many jobs, you’ll get overwhelmed all over again.

2- Simplify. Take the kids to the park: it’s free! Play in the yard. Take on projects to make your house a home. The more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to clean. Get rid of the excess and only bring into your home the things you truly need. Find joy in living a simple life and having a simple routine. Children thrive on routine, too. I really believe it helps them develop their sense of family stability. Kids don’t need stuff; they need your time.

3- Make and eat your own food. So many women I know, even housewives, say they have no time to cook. I firmly believe this happens from lack of cooking practice, and having typical things baked or cooked for the family on a regular basis. I can prep cinnamon rolls in less then 10 minutes (30 minutes cook time). I can prep bread for rising in about five minutes. Throwing meat, veggies and potatoes in a pot takes no time and often it’s really good if you cook it all at once! I’m terrible at meal planning (I know, I’m working on it), but it helps a lot with finances if you only buy what you’ll need for the week. And honestly, watching my daughter so excited to watch me make what we need is a reward all on its own.

4- There are usually places where every family hemorrhages money. We tweaked our Internet/Cable bill (Netflix is cheaper, if you like that sort of thing). We’re careful with the heat and lights. Aside from my “just mommy” outings, I make my coffee at home. Look over your bank statement and chances are there’s something.

5- This one is super important: FOCUS ON HIS CAREER. This is a recent lesson for me. My husband had been without work for a while, since his last contract ended. But with me not being out there playing Mrs Provider all the time, I was able to make it easier for him to look for better jobs. I was able to make our home a place where he was able to tend to applications and leaving for interviews. I made sure he had interview-clothes ready at a moment’s notice. There is a lot that us wives can do to support our husbands in being better able to provide for our family.

I’m the farthest thing from a perfect wife. And I have to repent often for mistakes I make. but I think God has been teaching me through this. Unlike back when I was working outside the home, I feel like I’m actually moving forward spiritually in my role as a wife and mother. I’m actually learning and making progress. I’ve been able to correct some profound character flaws in my parenting and my submission to my husband’s direction, even if I have a long way to go.

God put me on this path, even when I stubbornly fought it. I think when we accept God’s direction and go the way He wants us to, we start to grow.

In Christ,

Genevieve

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20, 21