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Keepers at Home Means to Abide in the Home

Keepers at Home Means to Abide in the Home

Written By Scott Coltrain “Working Women and Titus 2:5”

For over a half-century, we have witnessed our society depart from God’s will in regard to the differing roles and responsibilities that individuals are to play based upon their gender. Feminism, more than any other ungodly philosophy, has motivated American and European societies to reject the fundamental Biblical teaching on gender roles. To even suggest, in this 21st Century, that there are different roles and responsibilities assigned by the Lord for each gender is blasphemous to our secular culture.

Tragically, most churches and their leaders have felt a need to downplay or even reject much of the Scriptural instruction on gender roles for fear of being labeled sexist and promoters of gender prejudice and ‘oppression’. For example, decades ago, most Christian pastors, teachers, and counselors in effect tore-out of their Bibles the portion of Titus 2:5 which enjoins that women (especially younger women) are to be “keepers at home.” Even those pastor/teachers who have claimed to be ‘conservative’ or ‘fundamentalist’ in their approach to the Scriptures have so distorted the meaning of the text so as to render its application void.

One must adhere to what the term meant when it was originally chosen. The fact is, “oikouros” (keepers at home) does carry the idea that the woman is to abide in the home…Does this mean that the woman is completely prohibited from leaving the home? Does this mean that the woman cannot engage in any activities outside the home? No, the term does not support that extreme position. It means that the home is the focal point of the woman’s life and career. It means that the home is where the woman employs her time, energy and abilities. In his Biblical Greek Primer, William Mounce says that the woman is to be a “domestic.”

Dangers of women working outside of the home:

First, married women who are in the workforce have higher rates of divorce as opposed to married women who are ‘keepers and workers at home’. There are a few reasons for this. First, women who work outside the home feel that they should have greater say on how ‘their’ earnings are spent. This often leads to financial conflicts. Financial conflict is the second most common reason for divorces. Secondly, a married woman who enters the workforce feels less dependent upon her husband for financial/legal security and high self-esteem. Such women are far more likely to divorce their husbands. Thirdly, women who spend a great deal of time with other men in the workplace are far more likely to develop intimate relationships with them which leads to affairs and divorces. Likewise, the women at the workplace are a temptation for the men to pursue.

Secondly, mothers who choose to work outside the home harm the emotional, mental and social development of their children. A secure mother–child attachment is associated with positive peer interactions, social behaviors, emotions, and healthy exploratory behaviors. Children are most likely to experience healthy social–emotional development when they are secure in their attachment to their mothers and when their mothers exhibit attentive sensitivity throughout their childhood. When children spend more time in the care of someone other than their mothers, those mothers tend to show lower levels of sensitivity and there are fewer positive interactions between mother and child (Among those with children under age 18, 40% of working mothers say they always feel rushed). As a result, these children are more likely to experience attachment insecurity, which can lead to negative moods (depression and anxiety) and behaviors.

The top reason I hear by men and women alike to justify women working outside the home is that in our present economy it is impossible for a family to survive on a single paycheck. However, this is a very weak excuse if one is serious about living according to godly standards and values rather than worldly standards and values. A considerable number of Christian men and women have fallen prey to worldly materialism. They yearn for and seek fancy homes, plush furniture and fine home furnishings, the latest entertainment systems and programming, the most up-to-date technological gadgets, the current most popular fashions, the latest vehicle models with all of the available bells and whistles, etc. Such is a far cry from one of the most basic tenets of Christianity – live simply and invest your resources in things that will pay eternal dividends

In summation, Titus 2:5 does command that Christian wives/mothers are not to seek employment outside of the home. They are to be “workers at home.” Modern research has ‘discovered’ the wisdom behind the Lord’s injunction of women entering the labor-force. When women work outside the home it weakens marriages and harms the normal inner-development of children. It is time for pastors/preachers/counselors to stand with the Word of God rather than go along with the trends and values of our worldly culture.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

***For those of you who don’t think you can be home full time, please answer these questions: Do you want to be home full time and raise your own children? Have you sought the Lord in wisdom and asked Him to make a way for you to go home? Have you stepped out in faith and researched ways to make money from home? Do you trust the Lord as your provider and that what He commands He provides? Do you live simply and frugally so you can go home? Do you believe that with God ALL things are possible?

“Families Can’t Make It On One Income”

“Families Can’t Make It On One Income”

This is the comment I receive the most whenever I write about women being keepers at home: “Families can’t make it on one income!” I asked the women in the chat room how they’ve been able to stay home full time and live on one income.

Stephanie: It’s hard but it’s doable. We do without things a lot but we have what we need. He’s enough. We give when we can and somehow God always sends us what we’re lacking. We didn’t know how we were going to pay rent last month. My husband took on extra hours at work without asking for anything in return (no extra pay) even though we were short. He bought breakfast for his team. He ended up with a bonus he didn’t expect for doing these things for his boss. We made rent. It’s about doing things Gods way. Give and don’t expect. It’s hard and uncomfortable but He always comes through.

– Cook from scratch
– Use things up and fix what you have instead of just throwing something out and buying new
– Stay home instead of always going out
– Simplify and be creative with your resources – you really don’t need all the things you think you need

Danielle: My friend Megan does this so well! (She used to be part of this group but went off FB.) They have a huge garden, they shop at yard sales, and don’t eat out. She’s such an inspiration in this area. Her husband teaches and coaches at a private school.

Taylor: buy kids clothes/shoes on consignment
Cook all 3 meals
We don’t have cable or netflix.
We go on vacation once every 2 or 3 years not every year.
Shop at Aldi for groceries.
We bought our cars with cash.
My MIL cuts our hair for free but if she didn’t I would do it.
I don’t get my nails done or anything like that.
My kids don’t have very many toys, but they don’t know the difference.

Carlee: -Don’t have debt. If you can’t afford it, don’t buy it.
-Meal plan, coupon, cook from scratch, and don’t eat out anymore than you can afford.
-Stop going shopping unless you have a specific need, budget, and list. Don’t wander around the mall aimlessly.
-Don’t buy things just because someone asked you to support them or do a fundraiser. Learn to say no.
-Stay home or visit friends at their homes instead of always going out and about to do things. When you take a long trip to do one activity, it usually ends up costing way more than you planned for because of gas, eating out, snacks, etc.
-Learn to be content with what you have.
-Give up junk food and sweets and pop. People spend insane amounts of money on pop at the store when water is free, even at most restaurants.
-Don’t feel obligated to buy your child things every time you go out. Buy their needs, and they’ll be happy with what they have.
-Buy quality items when it counts but cheap things when they’ll do just fine.
-Don’t care what people think of your car/house/lifestyle/choices.
-Don’t pay for TV.
-Live on a written budget.

This is a little off topic, but I love this quote from Dave Ramsey: “People are buying things they don’t want with money they don’t have to impress people they don’t like.” Stop this madness!

Corrie: I think when asked this question everyone seems to answer the same. God provides. Go without. Cook from scratch. And all that. People who want to fight about this want hard facts. Let’s share numbers and areas of the country. To convince people you have to give them unarguable facts. Here’s mine:

My husband and I live in GA, have 4 kids and collectively we’ve never made more than $40,000. For the last 4 years, we’ve also been paying down $50,000 in consumer debt. Since my first child was born I haven’t worked full time outside of the home. At the most I had a super flexible (like go in when I felt like it) part-time job at a police department. I’ve done transcription work from home and have sold my extra breastmilk to a pharmaceutical company. Every month I never saw how our budget would work on paper but every month the bills got paid and we ate. Through prayer and trust, God can and does provide.

We have recently sold our home for full asking price which will allow us to completely pay off all of our debt and have money left over. We were given an amazing opportunity to purchase a broiler farm and are being allowed to live and work there until we can get financing in order. I buy all our clothes and furniture from thrift stores although we are given so much from friends I rarely have to do that. We have two vehicles. One is paid for and the other has a small payment. I do my best to price shop everything: insurance, groceries, household items. If something breaks I’ll contact the company who made it to see if they will replace it for free. 90 per cent of the time they do. Even without warranty. If I can buy something online, it’s almost always cheaper and it saves me from going into town. I’ve also breastfed all my babies. That’s saved thousands.

Meredith: When we had our first baby my husband was a stocker at a grocery store. We qualified for every government assistance available, but managed to not use any of it by being frugal and buying only things that were truly needs. We lived 40 miles from his place of employment because the cost of living was much cheaper. We rented a very modest apartment. We didn’t spend money on much besides necessities. No cable. No internet. No eating out. No vacations. We had two (paid for) older cars, but I hardly drove mine. I walked where I could, pushing my baby in his stroller in order to save on gas. When my husband’s transmission broke, we went to one car for months until we could afford to get his car fixed.

Despite money being tight, we had fun. We learned to find things to do for free like parks and libraries. We took lots of walks. I learned to cook from scratch and shop at thrift stores. My husband makes over five times what he made then, so we have lots more discretionary money now. But I look back on those times fondly. We aren’t any happier now with more money than we were then with much less. And in lots of ways things were simpler then. I actually really miss those days.

Jessica: It’s just priorities. Most people are so convinced they have to have expensive things. You don’t NEED cable, or a smart phone, or fancy clothes, or the latest car, or a huge house, or electronics, or a million toys. Put God first, your family second, and keeping up with the Jones’ at the bottom of the list and you will be amazed how it all works out! My husband hasn’t had a “real” job in a year. He’s been doing odd construction work. He is on track to make about $20,000 this year. We just paid cash for a nice used van (that we actually had to have with our fourth child on the way) and we are in the process of buying a cute three bedroom house so we can quit renting. God has provided above and beyond this year ❤.

Corrie: I’d like to add this: I see a lot of no cable and no cell phone. Even those things are okay. For example, we have Dish Network. I pay $34 a month for it. That’s AFTER fees and taxes. We have good channels and locals as well as a DVR for that price. We also have smart phones. I currently have an iPhone 5S. It’s not the latest and greatest but it was $100 a couple years ago. My family is also on a cell plan with Cricket. We pay $100 a month for five phones with data. That’s $20 per person and that’s no kids. It’s my mom, dad, myself, husband, and 20 year old step son. I make the 20 year old contribute $25 since that’s still way cheaper than any other plan he could get. All the good stuff is totally attainable. You don’t have to pay $150 a month for cable or $100 a month for a cell phone.

Stephanie: Family of eight and my husband works. Money is tight and has been since I quit teaching 13 years ago. We don’t have a smart phone, cable, or satellite television, go out to eat at all, shop for fun, or take a vacation. We have done the following: 1) Pay off debt, don’t use credit cards or loans; 2) Grow our food, hunt for meat, and can or freeze our food; 3) Most meals are made from scratch; 4) Most clothes the children wear are hand-me-downs from friends or bought at a garage sale or thrift store; 5) Limit snacks and sweets; 6) We have Netflix as our only television…. A lot of it in the mindset that you have.

If you want to make it work living on one income, you can do it, but you must both be on the same page. We are happy spending time together as a family. We have two vehicles both are older and paid for but they work. We do not take government assistance, but just because we qualify for it does not mean that we need it. Have an emergency fund. Follow Dave Ramsey. He is a life saver.

This makes it sound like we never have fun. We do have fun. We are surrounded by lakes, woods, and trails. We ride our dune buggy, go to our children’s sporting events, attend church functions as a family, host a lot of get-togethers at our house, sleep in a tent out on our property. We do puzzles, play with Legos, and work in the garden. Anything can be fun with the right outlook!

Christine: I think if you say you can’t live on one income, you don’t want to. Most Americans are worldly people. They are into themselves and WANT but don’t need things. It’s all in the mind.
It’s a proven fact that you CAN live on one income no matter where you live. But do they really want to?
I say, try living with one income, while having two. Save your income for a year, test the waters!
If you truly want to stay home and just have one income, you CAN!

Sarah: We have been on one income for 12 years now with four kids, and even though my husband’s income has increased over the years, our lifestyle has not. We are debt free other than our mortgage. We don’t have cable. We don’t have internet other than the data on our phones. We don’t eat out often and we don’t pay for hundreds of activities for our kids. I cook from scratch, and we have a very large garden. Living on one income is less about how much you make, and more about how much you spend. When I stopped working, we had debt, and expensive tastes and felt like we “needed” everything we had. Working for years to pay it all off and learning the difference between needs and wants made all the difference.

Sarah: I think people also forget it costs money to work. If you take out your work expenses, how much are you really bringing home? When I worked at the hospital, we had childcare, my scrubs, good shoes every four months because I was on my feet 13 hours a day, ordering food at work, paying for more convenient foods at home, because I didn’t have time to cook from scratch. Then gas to get to work and back, my training every year…it adds up so fast.

Shannon: We live on one income AND in Southern California where the typical rent (not mortgage) for a 3/4 Bedroom home/apartment is around $2,300.00! We make it work by the grace of God. We scrimp, don’t take vacations really, and don’t waste too much in the added things in life: used cars, but nice ones 🙂 Just being content with what God has provided is how we do it.

Kim: These are all great ideas! I’d like to add something I have done in the past. Meal plan! Use the grocery ads to plan your weekly meals. Also stock up on the items that are on sale…..keep a list of prices to check the sale cycles and buy enough, with coupons hopefully, to get through to the next sale. 🙂

Heather: We’ve been living on one income for the past year. Before that, I would have told you it can’t be done. Now, I would tell you it can’t be done without being willing to make lifestyle adjustments. I think a big key is to gather all the paperwork/bills/statements and take the time to figure out exactly where your money is going. That was VERY eye opening for us. It gives you a great roadmap for figuring out where to cut. Here are some things we learned:

– “Mind the pennies and the dollars will look after themselves.” Making our own laundry soap, baking bread, using the clothesline, unplugging appliances except when we’re using them- they all save a few cents at a time, and don’t feel like they’re worth it. But all those pennies add up if you keep at it month after month.

– Buy food, not “food products.” If it comes ready made in a box, you’re paying waaaaay more than if you bought the ingredients and cooked from scratch. It’s also healthier, tastier, and better for the environment.

– Buy less meat. It’s crazy expensive. Look for vegetarian alternatives and legumes instead. Or combine- mixing half ground beef & half lentils, for example.

– DEBT. My goodness! I had NO IDEA how expensive it is to have debt. And I just accepted debt as normal- everybody does it. Until I sat down and looked at where our money was going. Our *minimum payment* on our student/consumer debt each month was actually more than our mortgage payment. And if you’re only making minimum payments, you actually go more into debt each month. This is probably the biggest thing. I know so many people who only need two incomes because of debt payments. It’s nuts. It’s slavery. If you have debt, you need to be ruthless about paying it off as quickly as possible. Dave Ramsey’s snowball method has been really helpful for us.

– You do not need a cellphone. Just because “everyone has” something, does not make it a need. For our two phones and a modest data plan, we were paying $110/month. I bought out my plan, and now I use Fongo. It’s a VOIP provider and I can call or text anyone I want for FREE. My husband does need a phone plan due to his work, but he dropped data and reduced his plan to the smallest minutes available, which shaved over $30/month off his bill.

– Walk, bike, bus instead of drive.

– Do you really need a second vehicle? It may be convenient, but is it a need?

– Do not take on debt to buy toys. A holiday trailer, a boat, a quad, a gun…are not needs.

– Call around about your bills. We were able to find slightly lower rates on all our insurance and major utilities, and cut our internet bill in half by shopping around and comparing companies.

– If you have debt, call the credit card/loan company. Most of them are willing to give you a lower interest rate just because you called and asked. This blew my mind!

– Use your house as an income source. We live in our basement and rent out our main floor. Sometimes, I get annoyed about the lack of space, but the benefits outweigh that.

– You don’t need to spend a ton of money putting your kids in lessons and activities. There is such cultural pressure to enroll the kids in everything to give them some sort of imaginary leg up in adult life. Let them catch frogs in the creek- it’s free, and just as beneficial if not more so.

– Stop eating out. Just stop.

Beth: We do much of the same things the ladies above do. We have an extra family member (my mother) who does contribute to our grocery and utility budget because she has a food wants that that are not part of our regular items and our utilities are more expense due to her habits. Still we do well on my husband’s retirement and disability income. It’s not as much as it was before he retired from the Army but it’s meets all our needs and some wants too. We are a family of six with three children 10 and under.

Cassie: One of the biggest things for our family was to actually learn how to budget and then not spend more than we were bringing in. This meant using a calculator when grocery shopping and making sure I stay within our grocery budget, or whatever other budget I was shopping in. I searched for the lowest priced insurance. We dropped the house phone, we have unlimited internet and watch Netflix and Amazon Prime. We only have tracfone for our cell phones. We do not have a car payment on any of the 3 vehicles sitting in our driveway. We have no debt other than our mortgage. We budget for gifts and insurance and everything. We follow a zero based budget, meaning every penny that comes in has a purpose.

We were also able to, with taxes one year, get our finances one month ahead. So everything we make this month goes to next months budget so we know exactly how much we can spend and not have to worry about more coming in or not to cover it. All of my bills are set on auto payment so I never forget a bill. I also take full advantage of budget billing with the electric company and gas company which allows my budget to be consistent throughout the year. I have babysat on and off over the years to bring in a bit of extra money to up our budget in some areas. Avoid eating out as much as possible and make things at home, this includes coffee and what not. Drink water more than any other beverage it’s healthier and free.

Stacey: Whether you think you can or think you can’t- you’re right.

I couldn’t stay at home until we both thought I could. We both had to prepare and get ready. We paid off debt and used my whole income to save/pay down debt and when we got to a point it was going to savings I quit.

We budget for what we want to do, but used, reuse stuff. Knowing we want freedom and a wife at home not fancy stuff makes it possible. We save up to buy splurges and vacations and it doesn’t hurt us to wait a while.
Saving money by eating at home and generally choosing what we want to spend our money on makes us intentional and more satisfied with our purchases actually.

Having done the two income and one income household- we both prefer the one income household. It’s less stressful and more peaceful.

Brooke: We live simply. We’ve learned to enjoy the simple things in life.

-Enjoy being home: playing board/card games, movies from the library, biking and playing ball or swinging outside. We don’t go do many activities, maybe the park or such but we rarely do paid for activities.

-Make meal plans around sales. Shop sales. Try to save the highest percentage possible every trip.

-Eat simply. Grilled chicken with several different seasonings makes for a different taste for several meals. Plain steamed veggies or raw ones. Fresh fruit. Homemade bread. The less processed, the healthier anyhow. We don’t eat elaborate meals often.

-Buy in bulk whenever possible. Half/Quarter beef, 40lb box of chicken, toiletries, non perishables. If you can stock a freezer, you won’t have to go to the store as often. Take a list to the store and don’t buy anything that’s not on it!

-Garden. A row of beans can provide many meals worth of side dishes through the winter (Blanche and freeze). Make some salsa or strawberry jam. Freezer corn is another super easy preserve. These just make your grocery budget stretch farther when you don’t have to buy at the store. (Canning is a great way to preserve, but it’s costly to start and time consuming. Freezer preserves are easier and cheaper, once you invest in a freezer)

-Use Buy and sell sites for kids stuff. We buy our kids’ bikes off local buy and sell sites. I got a brand new bike, retailing for $185, for $25. People often just want to get rid of stuff for a small return. Gardening tools, outdoor patio furniture, etc are also great on Buy and sell. You have to be patient, do your research and you’ll find great deals.

-Pare down wardrobe. We have home clothes, jammies, play clothes and going out clothes. Just a few of each. Laundry is done twice a week and is never overwhelming. Saves money, sanity and closet space.

Diane: Stay out of debt when you are young.

But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:19

Higher Paying Careers Make it Harder for Women to Be Home Full Time

Higher Paying Careers Make it Harder for Women to Be Home Full Time

Are there ways that younger wives can help prevent their husbands from asking them to leave their homes and children in the care of others to make money? Fran wrote a great comment on my post asking the questions if wives can disobey their husbands if they ask them to work outside of the home:

“I’d say that at most, a wife whose husband demands she work could seek out creative ways to supplement income from home, and then work to save money by keeping a very tight budget. Then go to her husband and make a rational case that what she saves by producing a small income from home and not having to spend money for gas, daycare, a second car, meals out, etc., is more than worth it. I think this would be extra challenging for a woman with a larger income (doctor, lawyer, engineer) to make the same case, but even then, there are creative ways to work remotely, part-time, do consulting, etc. I think you are right that cultivating the home as a sanctuary is key.”

Throughout my years, I have known women who were doctors or had other professions that required a lot of schooling, time, money, debt, and energy to achieve. Once they had children, they wanted to be home full time with their children but they couldn’t because either they were still paying off the debt and/or they couldn’t justify all of the time spent in pursuing their careers to give it all up to be home with their children.

This is why I will NEVER advise that a young woman whose desire is to be a wife and mother pursue a career such as these. These careers actually are the only reason one needs a college education since most other women graduate with a degree that they will never use. Yes, teaching doesn’t take nearly as many years but the cost to get a credential these days can be too high for the amount of debt one will accumulate from it.

Another thing that happens with women in high money-making careers is that their husbands don’t want their wives to give up their lucrative careers, thus the women are forced to stay in them and miss raising their own children which is a shame. I don’t care how many women tell me they want female doctors, these doctors’ children need them a lot more than these women do. Besides, many women will continue to pursue higher education and these types of jobs so there will always be female doctors but for godly women who want to raise their own children, this isn’t a career they should pursue.

Women pursuing these careers are also taking these jobs away from men who need them! In talking to one man who is in medical school, more than 50% of the students are women and all but one of the top ten students in the class are women. This is awful, in my opinion. I know this from reading that women are much less reliable in these positions since they want to be home when their children are sick and they miss more work time because of pregnancy, birth, and recovery, whereas men don’t have any of these issues.

Lastly, women feel much more comfortable divorcing their husbands when they make good money. Contrary to popular opinion, it’s good for women to depend upon men for their protection and provision. It’s the way the Lord created them to be. Women are the nurturers and homemakers and men are the providers and protectors in God’s perfect plan.

Unless a woman is a doctor or some other profession that makes a lot of money, it makes little sense for her to leave home for work. It’s much better for her to learn to live simply and carefully within her husband’s income. Therefore, warn young women who want to go into these high earning professions of this fact. If they want to be home full time with their children, it’s best for them to not pursue this career direction.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Ways to Save Money to Stay Home

Ways to Save Money to Stay Home

This post was written by a woman named Nunya who commented on my post Making It On One Income.

The biggest expense is the home. Don’t get a mortgage; don’t buy a large house. Buy a used mobile with cash if you can, fix it, live in it until you can afford to buy land, and then move your mobile onto the land until you can afford to build a home.

Use it up and go without. Don’t eat out. Grow your own veggies as much as you can.  Trade. We use one cell phone, whomever leaves the house takes it. I ditched cable when it went up to $50 a month. Repair your clothes and re-sole your shoes/boots at a cobbler. Have chickens if you can – use eggs to feed other animals/pets and yourself. I mix scrambled eggs with canned cat food for my cat. It stretches the canned food (earthborn), is healthier, and an egg is a complete protein for them.

Don’t vaccinate; it causes health problems in all animals. Eat healthy without chemicals. We buy used clothes. Make things, sell on Etsy – every little bit helps. Take fewer car trips for supplies. Borrow items that you cannot afford (wheel barrow, chain saw, lawn mower, etc.) Cut back on electricity and don’t use air conditioning unless you MUST. Heat with wood.

Do it yourself (fix it or learn how; YouTube is a great source). Do your own oil changes and vehicle maintenance and build your own things. Cut back on gift giving, trust me, people understand – make gifts or buy small gifts. Housing and heating is where we save the most $$. We never go to the movies. Hiking is free, so are many other activities.

Kids don’t mind used toys. We buy used video games and movies. We homeschool; my kids don’t have cell phones and they are never bored because they HAVE CHORES to do. Go to the library; don’t buy books or magazines. Play cards/board games/play outside. Price check around before you buy anything major, if you cannot buy it used. We get second hand stuff from family too, especially for the kids. Strive for self-sufficiency; aim for how they did it in the 1800s!

Count your blessings. 🙂

Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.
Proverbs 13:11

Women’s Ministry is Broken

Women’s Ministry is Broken

Written By Robert Truelove

The truth of the matter is we are all unprofitable servants, even when we are faithful to the master.

So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.

—Luke 17:10

Jesus wants us to be faithful to our calling and humbly acknowledge that we are just doing what we are supposed to do. Herein is the problem that plagues the typical evangelical woman. She doesn’t know what her calling is, she is subsequently discouraged, and lives an unfulfilling life.

To address this problem we have the never ending series of “women’s ministries.” Women flock to these “ministries” in the hopes of gaining some sort of “breakthrough.” They are taught their purpose can be realized by either starting their own “women’s ministry” or working within one already established.

The entire paradigm of the “women’s ministry” is broken. It’s a vicious cycle. Women are trapped in the lies of feminism and find their Christian lives to be unfulfilling. They seek answers from a “women’s ministry” and are ultimately taught they will find fulfillment by involving themselves in “women’s ministry.” This doesn’t address the calling of the Christian woman and further obscures it.

But are not the mature women to “teach the young women” (Titus 2:4)? Oh yes, certainly…and here we find an answer when we look at the context…

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

—Titus 2:3-5

A Christian woman should be taught to find her calling first and foremost IN HER HOME. The domestic duties of the home are her sphere of Christian leadership, for she is to be a “keeper of the home.” Her first ministry is to her husband and children as she loves and serves them as a Christian wife and mother. This is WHO the Christian woman ought to be!

This is the comprehensive witness of the Scriptures.

When a Christian woman seeks to “find herself” outside of the home, it is not piety but rebellion. Such women make poor wives and mothers but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Christian women who lay hold of their calling by faith, believing in God’s role for them, discover their purpose. Contentment and fulfillment will follow.

Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.

—Proverbs 31:25

(Of course, Robert received MANY angry comments to this post, so he wrote the following in response because of course, the Proverbs 31 woman had a career, said many!)

I don’t think Proverbs 31 works as a good proof to encourage women to work outside of the home however. All of the things mentioned are part of the fulfillment of her domestic duties (which are quite extensive). It also speaks of the incredible competency of the godly woman.

That said, I realize there are many women, married and single who have to work outside the home. I’m sure this was a reality in the 1st century as well. Does this then negate the calling of women to the home?

What about single women? I was not particularly addressing single women nor do I feel that I need to qualify every iota since the Bible addresses this subject in the same way without stopping to qualify. See Titus 2:3-5…all young women aren’t married with children are they? Did Paul find it necessary to stop and qualify what he meant?

The reality is, the Bible is very controversial on this subject today because it speaks very plainly to it and the world hates it. I refuse to qualify it to the point it no longer means what it clearly means which is precisely what is being done today.

That wives are to submit to their husbands…somehow today means she has total veto power over all decisions.

Wives are to be the keeper of the home…somehow now means train as a young woman for a career, marry, and share the keeping of the home with the husband.

There is numerous absurdities like this being passed off under Biblical language. You’re not going see me doing that (by God’s grace I trust).

In the context of church history, it is an indictment to how off kilter our generation is that a post such as this would be considered highly inflammatory. I could post some citations from some of the most well respected pastors and theologians from church history on this subject that would make my post appear to be most gentle by comparison.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Women are Destroying the Medical Profession

Women are Destroying the Medical Profession

Feminists cheer that more women than men are entering medical schools but they have short-term vision. This is devastating to the medical profession since women have a much greater chance of only working part-time while men work full-time. Men were created to be the supporters of families and women were not. Women are taking men’s positions in medical schools that should belong to men.

This country needs more mothers at home full time raising their own children than it needs female doctors. Men can be doctors but they can’t be mothers. Only mothers can be mothers and NO ONE can replace a mother in a child’s life.

According to an article from the UK, part-time women doctors are creating a timebomb. In 2017, more women than men enrolled in medical schools. This is tragic not only for health care but for children! We can’t expect to disobey God’s clearly stated word (that women be keepers at home) and expect good to come out of it.

“A 15-year follow-up of doctors after graduation showed that on average, after career breaks and part-time working are taken into account, women work 25 per cent less than their male counterparts. The problem, put starkly, is that the average male medical graduate will work full time, while the average female won’t. This means that the state will get more man-hours out of a male graduate than a female graduate.

“The problem is starting to affect both hospitals and primary care. Some 38 per cent of female consultants work part-time compared to five per cent of the men. Two thirds of GPs are women, with a large proportion opting for less than full time work. As medicine becomes a female-majority profession, this is only going to get worse.”

No long-term good comes out of women leaving their homes. Nothing. Satan convinced women to spend years and a lot of money getting a higher education and then a degree. When they finally have children, they still have their God-given instinct to care for their children, thus they are in conflict with what they were convinced about concerning their career and being with their children. Their children are the ones who suffer and society is suffering too.

Some women will proudly tell me that their sons have married doctors or that their daughters are doctors. Silently, I grieve for the lack of grandchildren they will most likely have because of this decision. No, I don’t rejoice with them. I would rather tell others about the grandchildren my children are raising and that their mothers are home with them full time. I would rather tell them that my children valued their children over careers. God values the job of keepers at home and raising children over careers for women so we should too.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Homeworking is the Biblical Lifestyle for Christian Wives

Homeworking is the Biblical Lifestyle for Christian Wives

Here are a few paragraphs from Mary Pride’s excellent book The Way Home

The movement toward outside careers is NOT a Christian invention. The American materialistic feminist tradition favoring women’s economic independence and socialized domestic work gave it birth in the nineteenth century. Like all religions, it has a Great Assumption. Christianity’s Great Assumption (which unlike other religions’ is verifiable by historical evidence) is that the Bible is true. Feminism’s Great Assumption is that woman is the measure of all things.

Homeworking is the biblical lifestyle for Christian wives. Homeworking is not just staying home either (that was the mistake of the fifties). We are not called by God to stay home, or to sit at home, but to work at home!…To call only women who leave the home working wives amounts to saying that women who stay home don’t work! This psychological word game is at the root of our modern career movement.

Careerism is based on an inferiority complex, as follows. 1) Only men’s work has worth. Women’s traditional work is useless. Therefore, 2) I must get a job to prove I am somebody. If all the action is out in the men’s “economic-opportunity sphere,” well then, we’ll have to crowd into that end of the bus.

Homeworking means working at home. We are not supposed to be the breadwinners – that’s the man’s job. But we are to make an economic contribution. You probably already make more money for your family than you realize…I calculated that every dollar saved by homeworking wife amounts to three earned, because you don’t have to pay tax, tithe, day-care, transportation, and a whole host of other expenses on money you save. Do you bake whole wheat bread or make your own yogurt?

The money saved on medical bills from proper nutrition is no small change, and the amount you save by cooking from scratch can also be quite substantial. It’s not uncommon for a homeworking wife to save her family thousands of dollars a year on their food bills alone. And wives who teach their children at home instead of paying for Christian school can save $10,000 a year or more, depending on family size.

Picture a housewife coming home with bags of food, having stopped off at the supermarket first, then the health food store (because yeast and other bulk items are cheaper there), and the produce market (for fresh fruit and vegetables), and you’ve got it. This the the picture of the Proverbs 31 woman is trying to convey.

Wives who join food co-ops, who trek out monthly to a nearby farm to buy eggs, honey, and grains in bulk, who carefully sift over the radishes before putting any in their shopping basket, who have learned to stretch a dollar farther and buy better food with it – these are the women this passage describes.

She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Painting by Laurts Tuxen

Not Teaching Exceptions and What Ifs

Not Teaching Exceptions and What Ifs

God commands that I teach women to be keepers at home so this is what I will teach no matter how much backlash I receive from it. But what if a woman asks me if it is okay for her to work two days a week? I would tell her “no” since she is called to be a keeper at home as God has commanded. Let’s say she decides to work two days a week and puts her child into daycare and that child is molested, abused, or neglected which does happen? I dare not compromise God’s command to me and take responsibility for possible harm to the child. God gave mothers to children for protection.

What if a wife asks if she can work at night while her husband watches the children? Yes, he works all day and then would come home and watch the children because she “enjoys” working. I am not going to take responsibility when the marriage falls apart because they had little time together and she was too exhausted to be a proper help meet to him.

I’m not giving exceptions and what ifs. Those are up to each of you to decide. I’m committed to teaching what God has told me to teach. You’re going to have to take sole responsibility for going outside of God’s will and plan for you. I sure don’t want it on my conscience. I want no part in having God’s Word blasphemed.

This is why God has commanded older women to teach young women to love their children and be keepers at home. It’s not a natural tendency to give up self and its desires to do what is in the best interest of children which is to have their mother home full time caring, loving, training, and disciplining them. This takes a lot of time, patience, gentleness, and consistency which can get tedious but this is storing treasures in heaven where they belong. There is absolutely NO greater joy than to have children who walk in truth. None.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4, 5

Living Simply to Be Home Full Time

Living Simply to Be Home Full Time

Matt Walsh wrote a post yesterday about Americans being a nation of depressed people. I wrote this comment in response to it: “It’s because we have left our Creator’s design for us. Men were created to be the providers and protectors. Women were created to be keepers at home, help meets to their husbands, and bearing and raising children. Children need mothers who are home full time to raise, protect, train, and nurture them.” 

Of course, some agreed and some disagreed. Those who disagreed don’t like to discuss or acknowledge the facts. No, they have to attack and make false accusations against those to whom they disagree with because they despise the ways of the Lord. As an example, one guy wrote about another woman and me: “They don’t get it. Never will. They are blind to facts. They feel cause they can, everyone can. The holier than thou arrogance here is ridiculous.” So we are arrogant because we speak the truth of God’s Word?

But then a woman named Deborah wrote the following and is worthy of a post of its own:

Yes, it is more difficult today to make ends meet. The Socialist Left made the cost of living so high so that mothers would need to leave the home to help provide a living. They indoctrinated the women in the 60s to beat their chest and declare they are equal to men and they began to refuse to keep a home, raise their children, cook, or do any other domestic skill.

They (and men) began to demand the best of everything, clothes, homes, every shiny bauble known to man. They stopped having children in lieu of fancy cars and boats. I was raised by my grandparents the OLD way. We didn’t even have running water in the house, no plumbing, drew water from a hand dug well, GREW OUR OWN MEAT AND VEGETABLES, canned everything to get us through the winter, SEWED OUR CLOTHES, and lived on very little.

WE WERE NEVER HUNGRY. We did not have candy, chips, colas, beer, nor any of the other luxuries of frozen foods, delivery of food, etc. We had NO CAR. We walked to town and carried the bags back. I was quite old when we got our first phone and TV. We plowed the fields with a horse and hand hoed the vegetables. We raised chickens, hogs, etc. for eggs and meat. Poppy hunted for game.

My grandparents were in their late 50s when they took on five grandkids under the age of seven. They didn’t have two nickles to rub together. But we survived and LOVED IT. I wouldn’t trade that life for all the shiny baubles in the world.

What I’m trying to say is that you can do without a lot of things you think you have to have. You can supplement your food with a garden and animals. If your wife doesn’t work, you don’t need two vehicles. Yes, it is more difficult today because the Left wants to destroy everything “family” and everything Christian.

(Directed to men:) You need to get educated so that you don’t have to settle for minimum wage. There is a dire need for the “trades” in this country, such as welders, etc. Women need to get educated so that if something happens to their husband, they can make a living without depending on others for their needs. (I don’t agree with her on this one since getting an education today means accruing a large debt and putting off marriage and children, plus many husbands don’t want to give up their wives’ income when they marry. As believers, we don’t need to live in fear of the “What ifs…?” We need to obey what God has commanded and live in faith of the “But God…!”)

Everything in the right season. Courtship, marriage, THEN CHILDREN, and don’t forget education to support the family. Start your own business. Electrician, plumbers, or whatever you can do, do it and do it well. Minimum wage jobs were never intended to support a family. They were always intended for teenagers to start their work history and make money to support their young years and SUPPLEMENT their family. It was also a place for those who cannot rise higher in society, for whatever reason. My main point is that people don’t have to have the best of everything but you do have to get above minimum wage if you are to raise a family these days.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

Feminists Have Done Violence to Mothering

Feminists Have Done Violence to Mothering

In 2006, Dr. Brenda Hunter wrote her book Home By Choice and investigated the problems she was seeing with children. She found out that those who don’t have full-time mothers are much more insecure and mentally unstable. Children were meant to be raised by their mothers, contrary to popular opinion.

Now, there is a post going viral written by Victoria Prooday that states the silent tragedy affecting children:

“There is a silent tragedy developing right now, in our homes, and it concerns our most precious jewels – our children. Through my work with hundreds of children and families as an occupational therapist, I have witnessed this tragedy unfolding right in front of my eyes. Our children are in a devastating emotional state! Talk to teachers and professionals who have been working in the field for the last 15 years. You will hear concerns similar to mine. Moreover, in the past 15 years, researchers have been releasing alarming statistics on a sharp and steady increase in kids’ mental illness, which is now reaching epidemic proportions:

1 in 5 children has mental health problems
43% increase in ADHD
37% increase in teen depression
200% increase in suicide rate in kids 10-14 years old”

Here are the reasons Victoria Prooday gave for these problems:

Digitally distracted parents
Indulgent parents who let kids “Rule the world”
Sense of entitlement rather than responsibility
Inadequate sleep and unbalanced nutrition
Sedentary indoor lifestyle
Endless stimulation, technological babysitters, instant gratification, and absence of dull moments

The solutions she gives to these problems are great and useful but she somehow missed the most important ones: mothers being keepers at home and staying married to the father of their children until death do they part but, of course, this is not politically correct to say even among most Christians. Children need and want their mothers home full time to bond with them and they need their fathers’ love and stability. Their mothers and fathers are the ones called to teach, train, nurture, and discipline them.

Dr. Brenda Hunter wrote the following about the importance of a full-time mother in a child’s life:

If a man had a mother who was physically or emotionally absent for most of his childhood – if he was raised by babysitters or a succession of other caretakers – he will most likely not know what emotional closeness or intimacy feels like. So how can he possibly know what his child is missing? 

  “The point of this brief examination of male vulnerabilities is to assert that sons and husbands need the women in their lives to nurture them, appreciate them, and express interest in their lives. As little boys or as high-powered executives, males suffer from female neglect.

“Kids do not profit from parental absenteeism and the empty house can be a dangerous place…many find empty houses a convenient place to engage in self-destructive behavior.

“Moreover, as these insecure children grow up, the ramifications for society are disturbing. One psychologist has said that never before in American history have so many children been raised by strangers.

“While it is not my intention to heap guilt on single mothers who find they must work, they need to be aware of how their children are affected. You see, young children don’t understand that the mother doesn’t have a choice. I would challenge the single mother, if at all possible, to use her wits and ingenuity to turn her skills into profit at home.

“Feminists have largely controlled the public image of women. Mothers at home, who are impediments to the feminist agenda, have been largely ignored. In their thrust for subsidized child care, equal rights, and abortion rights, feminists have done violence to mothering with their constant proclamation that mothering is a ‘low status job.'”

Mothering is NOT a low status job. It is a job given to women by their Creator. Do you see how easily the enemy of our souls tries to deceive people into believing the opposite of what God has commanded? Stop listening to him and begin listening to the Lover of your soul.

When you come home full time, love your children deeply, speak words of life and Truth into their lives consistently, and teach them to work hard, be honest, love God, and be kind. Raising up godly children takes a lot of time and effort but it is well worth it. It is the most important ministry you will have in your life.

 For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 55:8