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What I Love About Being Home Full Time

What I Love About Being Home Full Time

Ever since I had my second son thirty two years ago, I have been home full time except for a few teacher substituting jobs one year. I love being home full time and it’s all I’ve ever wanted.

I love never having to wake up to an alarm. If I’ve had a rough night of sleep or can’t sleep, I don’t worry about it because I know I don’t have to go to a job in the morning.

I love Mondays just as much as I love Fridays and Saturdays!

I love not having to fight traffic in the morning but instead get to write, read, and study my Bible, then have devotions with Ken and cuddle every morning.

I love not having to submit to a boss who doesn’t care much about me but instead I get to submit to my husband who loves me, provides for me, and has committed his life to me.

I loved being able to be home for my children and getting up each morning to fix them breakfast and read them the Bible as they ate. I loved being home when they were sick to care for them and when they got home from school to hear about their day. I loved being able to homeschool them for a few years and have the freedom to take them to the beach or do other fun things. I loved being the one to train, discipline and teach them.

I love being home when my children, who now live far away, come to visit and I can be here with them full time to make their time as pleasant as can be by watching their children, fixing them food, and keeping the home clean and tidy.

I love being available to watch my three grandchildren, who live close by, for three days like I did last week while their parents got away for the first time alone since they were married.

I love being able to go visit my old parents, take my mom out to lunch, and bring her homemade soup. Tonight, we’re all going out to celebrate their 65 years of marriage!

I love being able to have a wonderful salad every day whenever I want for lunch. I get to sit in the beauty of my own home or in my backyard and eat it at my leisure.

I loved being able to garden when I was younger and healthier and now have the time to lay out in the sun for the vitamin D.

I love being able to go out to lunch with friends and/or sisters on the spur of the moment and have my best friend call to ask if she can come visit for a week and being able to say, “Yes!”

I love knowing I’m right where the Lord wants me to be and I’m so happy about it!

I love being free to mentor women when needed, write for my blog, write a book, run a chat room, and have plenty of time for this ministry to women.

I love being able to take long walks with Ken every day since I have the energy because I didn’t have to work outside at a job all day long.

I love having a husband who has worked very hard our entire marriage in order for me to be home.

I love being able to be home full time!

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

***The picture at the top is my almost finished remodeled kitchen! Our old sink was completely rusted out so it leaked and our stove top didn’t work well, plus our counter-tops (Corian) had cracks in it so we changed to granite, an amazing sink (Blanco which is 80% granite), and a new stainless steel stove-top. We then had our cabinets painted an off-white (replacing them is way too expensive!) and had a great tile guy create our back-splash with natural stone and glass tiles. We will paint the walls a warm beige in the fall (yes, the sunflowers will go). One thing I do notice is that products made by God (wood floors, granite counter-tops and sinks, and stone tiles) are far more beautiful and stronger than anything man can make!

Tired of a Filthy Home?

Tired of a Filthy Home?

Ken and I love to walk along the beach. On Sunday night, we walked along the beach to our favorite little hole-in-the-wall restaurant where we sat outside on the patio with the late afternoon sun on our faces and we watched one of the waitresses tidying up the patio by fluffing and arranging the pillows. She worked on making it look clean and tidy. We eventually struck up a conversation with her and she told us that she is an immaculate housekeeper. She loves cleanliness and tidiness. I asked her if her mom was like this and she said she indeed was so she was blessed to be trained by a mother who worked hard in her home since few women do these days.

Men build houses but women make them into homes. Bernard O’reilly wrote this about a woman who loves making her house into a home:“There will be loveliness in the home where true love causes order and comfort to reign. For the poorest room can be made lovely by a woman’s cunning hand. She can have flowers at her window, and flowers on her mantel and table. And the curtains of windows and bed may be beautified by some simple ornament devised by a woman’s taste and executed in spare moments by the hand of even the busiest.”

If your home is a mess and you’re just sick of it, I have a great verse for you to memorize and meditate upon. The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat (Proverbs 13:4). In order to have a clean and tidy home, you must learn to be diligent and willing to work hard as the Lord has commanded for us to do.

Diligent means “constant in effort or exertion to accomplish what is undertaken; assiduous; attentive; industrious; not idle or negligent; applied to persons.” Laying around and being lazy isn’t going to give you a clean and tidy home. You must discipline your flesh and make it your slave!

Gill’s Commentary puts it this way: “The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing,…. He desires knowledge, but does not care to be at any pains to get it, and so has it not; he desires riches, but chooses not to make use of the means, to be diligent and industrious, and so he is without them; he desires to wear good clothes and rich raiment, but is unwilling to labour for them, and therefore is clothed with rags; he desires food, and plenty of it, but refuses to work for it; and he that will not work should not eat, and therefore he has it not, but starves and famishes: and, in spiritual things, the sluggard desires heaven and happiness, but does not care to do the duties of religion; he would die the death of the righteous, but is unwilling to live his life; to abstain from sin, and live soberly and righteously, is too hard service for him; he does not choose to do or suffer anything for the cause of Christ and true religion.”

Many in our culture are lazy, refuse to work, and want handouts. Train yourself and your children to work hard. You won’t accomplish anything good in this life by being lazy. As Gill wrote, you won’t grow in the wisdom and knowledge of Him if you don’t spend time in His Word. Laziness is a terrible sin and must be dealt with. The best way to deal with it is to confess it and find ways to fight against it.

Join flylady and begin to make baby steps by cleaning up your kitchen and shining your sink at least once a day. Make your bed every single day. Go around your home each day and fluff up pillows, put them in order, and feather your nest! Read a chapter in the Bible every single day. Clean the toilet after you use it if it looks like it needs to be cleaned. Rinse out the sink after using it and use the towel to wipe down the counter top. Pick things up off the floor when you see them and put them away. Get rid of clutter and things you don’t use! Teach your children to help. Commit to doing these small things for 30 days and they will begin to be a habit, then you will no longer have a filthy home.

Whatever you do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Colossians 3:23

Depression and Suicide is Skyrocketing Among Women

Depression and Suicide is Skyrocketing Among Women

“The suicide rate is up 63% for women aged 45-65 and up 200% for girls aged 10-14,” wrote Jamieson Webster, a clinical psychologist, in her article Why are Suicides in Women Rising? Why is this happening so dramatically in women?

“Many patients struggle in their role as women, something that has taken on a particular exigency because of drastic changes in gender dynamics. The women I see are often anxious and cannot reconcile ideas concerning work and family, what it is to be a successful woman and a mother, to say nothing of the demands of maintenance placed on their bodies. They are disappointed and they feel disappointing.” She falsely believes that women need more “rights,” more independence, and more leadership positions in order to become mentally stable.

The reasons women are so depressed and suicidal these days are because they have lost their way and are so far from the narrow path that they are supposed to be on, thus they are left confused and depressed. How can we leave the life that our Creator created for us and expect to find satisfaction and joy? Way too many women have been raised in broken homes and/or without mothers home full time because their mothers refused to make “narrow path” choices. This is the result of feminism and lies, not from “a lack of child-care support and maternity leave, as well as male dominance in the workplace,” as Jamieson concluded.

She also believes that women suffer from“a wandering womb that would suffocate a woman from the inside.” No, the womb isn’t suffocating women from the inside. It is God’s perfect design and gift to women. Most women have no idea that they were created by their Creator to be wives and mothers and use their wombs to bear and raise children because they aren’t being taught this anywhere in our culture, not even in the church. The narrow path is ignored.

Instead, they are being taught to pursue higher education, a career, have multiple sexual partners, use birth control, have abortions, and “live” life before being tied down. When they finally get married, they make sure they keep their false sense of freedom by staying in their careers and leaving their children in the care of strangers while they stay on the hamster wheel away from home.

In her book Home By Choice, Dr. Brenda Hunter found from her study that babies who are unable to bond with their mothers full time because their mothers work, grow up to be emotionally unstable and insecure. “We’ve radically altered the way we rear our children. It’s just never happened in history that we’ve imposed such early separations of such a lasting duration. It’s a big human experiment that has a huge price tag…severe separations in early childhood can create ‘scars on the brain.'”

Our children need continuing parental care to have a sense of wholeness. They need someone at home who’s passionately concerned about them, not just during the early years but over the long haul. Even beyond infancy and toddlerhood, children need someone to be present during most of the hours they are at home. Someone needs to be available on a daily basis to educate, love, nurture, discipline, and guide…If a mother wants to rear a child who will leave home with a sturdy sense of self, she needs to be there for her child during his growing up years.”

If you were not bonded and raised with a mother full time and struggle with depression, are there answers for you? Yes! If you believe God’s Word, there are definitely answers for you, for the battle is in the mind.

Jeff Vanderstelt wrote a great article called How to Win the War For Your Mind. “We need to take captive our thoughts and examine them. To take something captive is to take control of it and put it in a controlled environment — like putting a ferocious animal in a cage. Then, we need to take a close look at our thoughts and consider what we are thinking or believing and why.” If God says He gives us a “sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7) I believe Him and who is to argue with Him BUT we must take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and dwell on the lovely and the good as He has told us to do, along with being transformed by renewing our minds with truth.

Everyone talks about hormones being a cause of depression. I had almost NO hormones for many months before hormone replacement and yes, I could tell my body was not thriving and something was terribly wrong with me, but I had NO depression. Even through my many years of illness and pain, whenever I began to feel like I was getting depressed, I would immediately take my thoughts captive and remind myself that I can indeed do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me and that the joy of the LORD is my strength. (I do know there are some mind-altering drugs with the side effects of depression and suicide. Stay away from those, if at all possible.)

 If you struggle with depression, begin reading Philippians 3 and 4 every day for a month. Highlight verses that stand out, circle words that mean something to you, and memorize your favorite verses. Allow His Word to dwell in you richly. Then go to Romans 6 and 8 and do the same thing. Find out who you are in Christ, that you are dead and freed from sin, and now walk in newness of life and see that you, too, can be transformed by renewing your mind with the truth of God’s Word, just as He promises you will.

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:1, 2

Happy to Say “I am a Wife and Mother!”

Happy to Say “I am a Wife and Mother!”

Once in a while, I listen to Dennis Prager on the radio. I enjoy him because his values are the same as mine and he is kind. Yesterday, he shared that he asked one woman what she does for a living and she pondered for a minute and answered, “I am a domestic engineer.” He went on to say how badly he felt that women today can no longer simply answer, “A wife and mother” but needs to make up some fancy description to describe the most important job in the world – raising children into adults.

Anyone can take the place of an astronaut, an engineer, a doctor, or name any other career out there, but no one can take the place of a mother in a child’s life. If you are married and have children, no one can take your place and your time and energy should be going to caring for these important people in your life, not given to strangers who could replace you in a blink of an eye.

Dennis also brought up something that happened in the Australian Parliament. A senator nursed her baby while the Parliament was in session. She has no problem showing her breasts to men while she is nursing her baby. Why not? Men can go shirtless and there’s no problem with it. Since men and women are now equal in every way, according to feminism, this shouldn’t be a problem, right? Wrong. They fail to realize that men will always have an attraction for women’s breasts. God made them this way: “Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love” (Proverbs 5:19).

Then I hear of Ivanka Trump trying to convince her father, our President, to create another enormous government program to pay for childcare for mothers so they can have careers and not worry about the financial situation. All of these are lies that our culture keeps screaming at us and trying to pull us away from the life that God has planned for us!

God made you a woman for a reason. He gave you a womb to bear children. He gave you breasts to nourish your baby and satisfy your husband. He made you soft for your baby to cuddle with you and your husband to enjoy. He made you the weaker vessel and your husband stronger to provide and protect you. He made you love beauty so you could use your desire for beauty to make your homes places of beauty for your families and all who enter. It’s all a part of His wonderful and perfect plan for you.

The job the Lord has given you at home is holy, women. Since God has created you to be keepers at home, being a keeper at home is set apart and as you clean, cook, and care for your family, you are doing it in service to the Lord and as an act of worship to Him. This culture is trying to tell you that these things don’t matter and you were called to more “important” things but it’s not true. It’s all a lie from the enemy of our soul who tries to continually encourage women to blaspheme the Word of God (Titus 2:5).

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God (1 Corinthians 10:31). Raise your children to the glory of God. Clean your home to the glory of God. Cook nourishing food for your family to the glory of God. Dress modestly for the glory of God. Make love to your husband to the glory of God. All of this pleases Him and this is all that matters.

“God sanctifies our work. Feed the hungry. Give drink to the thirsty. Clothe the naked. Hey! I do that everyday! Who knew that I could be completing the corporal works of mercy right in my own home?” (from the article “Asking for a drink,” Soul Gardening, A Mother’s Journal).

Why do people today call us radical for following God’s plans for us? It’s not. They are the ones who have radically veered from the ancient paths set for them from the beginning. We are on the right path – the narrow path that leads to life! Never be ashamed to say that you are a wife and mother for this pleases the Lord and know that all of your work, if done for the Lord, in your home and for your family is not in vain.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58

Being a Keeper at Home is Unproductive and Barbarous?

Being a Keeper at Home is Unproductive and Barbarous?

Do you know who proclaimed these words, that being a keeper at home is unproductive and barbarous? Vladimir Lenin, the founder of the Russian Communist Party, leader of the Bolshevik Revolution and architect and first head of the Soviet state, whereas God, the Creator of women, instructs them to be keepers at home. Once a people decide to do away with God and His Word, chaos and evil reigns as it does in communist countries and our country. You can argue with God’s plan for women all you want but God’s ways are always perfect for us for all time.

Here are two statements that Vladimir Lenin had to say about this topic.

“We must now say proudly and without any exaggeration that apart from Soviet Russia, there is not a country in the world where women enjoy full equality and where women are not placed in the humiliating position felt particularly in day-to-day family life.  This is one of our first and most important tasks…Housework is the most unproductive, the most barbarous and the most arduous work a woman can do. It is exceptionally petty and does not include anything that would in any way promote the development of the woman…The building of socialism will begin only when we have achieved the complete equality of women and when we undertake the new work together with women who have been emancipated from that petty stultifying, unproductive work…We are setting up model institutions, dining-rooms and nurseries, that will emancipate women from housework…These institutions that liberate women from their position as household slaves are springing up where it is in any way possible…Our task is to make politics available to every working woman.” 1

Do you understand what this means, women? All of you who are fighting for “equality” and “equal pay” and the right to vote and leadership positions for women in politics and government are fighting against God and destroying countries. Nothing good has happened since women left their homes and their children in the hands of strangers at preschools and public schools for these to teach and raise. God wants women at home full time raising their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, not strangers, and certainly not a godless government.

God designed women for a very important reason and purpose: to bear and raise the next generation. Do you understand that nothing you can do can compare to this if you have been blessed with children? All children need and want their mothers home full time making their homes places of beauty, security, and peace.

“The chief thing is to get women to take part in socially productive labor, to liberate them from ‘domestic slavery,’ to free them from their stupefying [idiotic] and humiliating subjugation to the eternal drudgery of the kitchen and the nursery. This struggle will be a long one, and it demands a radical reconstruction, both of social technique and of morale. But it will end in the complete triumph of Communism.” 2

This is scary stuff and it’s happening in our country right now and most of us have fallen for these lies. Rebel against the thought that being a homemaker is “domestic slavery” and find and show joy in doing the mundane but significant in God’s eyes. The majority of women today, even Christian women, don’t feel worthwhile if they aren’t making money but God has never given the job of making money to women. There isn’t one verse in the entire Bible that commands women to be the providers. He gave this to men:

 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return (Genesis 3:17-19).

What is the women’s job God has given them?

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee (Genesis 3:16). Her important job is to have children, raise them, and live in subjection to her husband as a keeper at home and looking well to the ways of her household.

These roles are perfect, women. These roles raise up godly offspring if done joyfully to the Lord. Love your role at home. Enjoying making your home a welcoming place of beauty and peace for all who live there. Stick close to the Lord’s ways for you and be an example to a wicked culture. It wasn’t God or even feminism who was behind the mass exodus of women from the home. It was the enemy of their soul. Nothing is new under the sun. The same Devil who persuaded Eve to rebel against God has never let up trying to persuade women from their God ordained roles. No one can replace you in your home.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58

1. Lenin’s Collected Works, 4th English Edition, Progress Publishers, Moscow, 1965, Volume 30, p. 4
2. Vladimir, Lenin. “International Working Women’s Day speech”, 1920
The Myth of Needing Two Incomes

The Myth of Needing Two Incomes

Happy Mama commented on one of my recent posts.  I thought it was so beautifully written that I would make it into a post.  I will let her words minister to you ~

Just commenting on some of the comments…It is sad to me that some people think that having two incomes is a necessity. You may need two incomes to keep up your current lifestyle, but you don’t need two incomes. You just have to learn to live within your means, which may mean getting rid of a second car, living in an apartment not a house, learning to cook simple meals, buying second hand-only things that are really needed.

My husband is disabled and we live on his disability income. It is extremely financially tight, but I would never leave my role as a homemaker for more money. I have found ways to help us earn a few extra dollars (selling things online) that has blessed my family without leaving my role as homemaker. (The Proverbs 31 woman made money through her extra work at her home.) I completely accept we will always live in an apartment; we will always live humbly. But nothing is more important than caring for my home and family.

A simple humble life with my loved ones is better than any big paycheck. People are what make life great, not things. As long as your husband has an income, however small, you can live off it. Nothing is more precious to me than raising my children and caring for my family.

After reading Money Saving Secrets of the Amish I was really inspired by even the things I think of as necessities. The Amish were asked if they could spend extra money on some luxuries what they would buy. One of the Amish mentioned a salad dressing they really liked, but was only a special treat. One of the ladies mentioned Ritz crackers. Even many food items aren’t necessities (I have always thought all food counts as necessities), but really if you look at how people who live the most humble eat ~ much of even the food bought and sold in America are luxuries. I was greatly encouraged to think more simply after reading this wonderful book, and it really made me think about what are true needs vs. wants, even with regards to food. Just wanted to share that too.

We need to get back to being unmaterialistic and living simply so we have time to enjoy the things in life that really make us rich!

She rises also while it is yet night, and gives food to her household.
Proverbs 31:15

The Beauty of a Life at Home

The Beauty of a Life at Home

“Many ladies are like a fish out of water. They have set their hearts on being somewhere other than the place God designed for them when He created the first lady. Females were not created to be in a man’s place; they can’t make it there and still be a lady. It’s a different habitat, an element they were not designed for. Some women say, ‘I will not stand in the place which God made for women. I am going to do my own thing somewhere else. I’m going to be on my own. I am not going to stay home and take care of babies and serve my husband. Let him stay home and wash dishes.’ When women take a position like this, they are fish out of water and they are grasping for air but not breathing. As soon as you drop a fish back into the water, everything is okay again.”*

Women belong in their homes. Our cultures have fallen apart since women departed from their homes. The home is where we are called to work, bear children, raise them, and take care of our husbands. Our homes should be places of peace, beauty, and rest for all who enter, especially our families. There are some powerful verses in the Bible that explain to us how we should build our homes up and why we need to be in them.

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established; And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches (Proverbs 24:3, 4). “Through wisdom is a house builded,…. A family is built up, furnished and supplied with the necessaries and conveniences of life, and brought into flourishing and prosperous circumstances, by wise and prudent management, by diligence and industry, through the blessing of God upon them, without taking such methods as evil men do.

The house of God, the church of the living God, is built by Wisdom, that is, by Christ; on a good foundation, a rock, upon himself, against which the gates of hell can never prevail. Every good man’s house, himself, his soul, and the eternal salvation of it, are built on the same; and he is a wise man that builds his house through wisdom; that builds on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, the one and only foundation which God has laid, which is Jesus Christ.” (Gill’s Exposition)

In order to build our homes up, we must spend a lot of time at the feet of Jesus learning from Him. This means opening up our Bible, reading it, and becoming a student of it. Highlighting verses that are meaningful. Circling words that stand out. Using the 1828 Webster Dictionary to further research words and to further research Bible verses. Having a prayer list going and each day making our requests made known to the LORD and then leaving them in His very capable hands while we go about our day. By resting in Him, we will experience a peace that the world will never know.

Once we are well fed on the Word of God, we make sure we are feeding our children daily upon it too. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deuteronomy 11:20).

He is the Rock upon which our lives and homes are built to withstand the storms and evil of our culture. His ways are unchanging and they are good. They are an anchor for our soul so that we won’t waver with all of the false teachings that are going on around us. They keep us on the narrow path that leads to the abundant life. You will never find true happiness apart from the LORD and His ways.

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain (Psalm 127:1). “The idea is, that they are entirely dependent on God. No matter what their skill, their strength, their industry may be – all will be in vain unless God shall assist them. They are dependent on Him for life, for health, for strength, for practical wisdom, for a disposition to continue their work, and for success in it. Their work might be destroyed by fire, by a tempest, by an earthquake, or by an irruption of enemies; and for the result, therefore, they are entirely dependent on God.” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible)

Without God, we can not build our homes up, women. His Spirit is Who works mightily within us. His precepts make our life good and worthwhile. We need the LORD for wisdom in this evil age. We can see what the lack of wisdom is doing to our culture. Few people have wisdom anymore since wisdom comes from God and they don’t want any part of Him. We seek His wisdom in big decisions and ask for His strength during hard times. We know that He will never leave nor forsake Him so we rest in Him.

Finally, I want to reprint something that Paula Garcia wrote to the women in the chat room about women going back to their homes and the Lord’s perfect ways for them:

Some thoughts I jotted down today as I was pondering how we as Americans specifically have drifted so far away from what used to be the norm…

I think slowly more and more young women are beginning to seek the old ways. They hunger for something that honestly some of them have never known. It would seem that there has been a break or gap between the generations before us that clung to the old ways, their Christian faith and traditional values.

Somewhere in the middle we have a group that rebelled so to speak and abondoned the old ways and did things their own way. But as always, we soon find that our way of doing things is not the right way. It has only led to destruction- the destruction of marriages, homes, babies in the womb, etc.

And now I believe there is a portion of women, albeit small, who are turning back to the old way (after being on a path of peril) as well as a new generation rising up and they are coming together.

They want to get back to that simple, yet traditional way of life. The one where you went to church every Sunday morning as a family, when you sang the old familiar hymns not only at church but at home as well. A time when your neighbor was a Christian too and you leaned on one another in hard times. A time where faith was sometimes all you had to carry you through and you clung to it – to the Rock of Ages. Every home had a Family Bible and you actually read it together. Mama and Daddy loved each other (and only each other), til death did they part. When heads were bowed and thanks was given at every meal. And come bedtime, knees were humbly bent at your bedside.

I think there is a pressing need to find our way back to the old path, that good and narrow way, and walk therin. What say you?

Thus saith the Lord, stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls…
Jeremiah 6:16

*Excerpt from “The Hidden Woman” by Denny Kenaston and transcribed into Debi Pearl’s excellent new book “The Hidden Helpmeet.”

What They Gave Up to Be Home Full Time

What They Gave Up to Be Home Full Time

Women who want to be home full time usually have to give up some things in order to do this. I asked the women in the chat room what they had to give up and I received many great comments. Here are a few of them:

Kim: “Being a number at a job. Being someone that is replaceable. Being used and not paid for a job well done. Not being appreciated. Enlarging someone else’s wallet. Time spent with family so my boss can go home while I worked overtime to ‘get ahead.’ Not being able to stay at home when my children were sick. Drying cleaning. Working holidays. Getting caught up in the Working Woman’s mindset. Being lied to by SATAN!”

Judy: “Stress, along with a lot of  ‘hay, wood, and stubble.’

Michelle: “I have given up much of my pride. Worldly luxuries that have no eternal benefit. But ooohh, the rewards!!! I have had the blessing of being a stay at home wife and mother for seventeen years.”

Celina: “I gave up free private Christian school tuition, a sizable salary (and the ability to buy what I wanted when I wanted), daily social interaction with solid Christians face to face; I also gave up a ton of stress, deadlines and responsibility, guilt, pride, business clothes and pretty shoes, being a boss, being an employee, pleasing others.”

Jessica: “Nothing. We would be spending in daycare and convenience foods what I was making. I would have had a nervous breakdown worrying about the boys all day between the Aspergers, bleeding disorder, and food allergies anyway. I honestly don’t know how people let strangers take care of their children all day.”

Diane: “Six figures a year. Worth every penny.”

Laressa: “Nothing. We grew up with stay-at-home moms so this feels normal to us. We live within our means. My husband’s salary has gone up and down quite a bit over the years, but we have always had our needs met and many of our wants. We’ve always been self employed and there are extremely good years and some lean years.”

Jessica: “An unfulfilling job. LOL. I wanted a home and family to start with.”

Lynn: “Nothing and lots. Let me explain. Nothing is the fact that ALL of our needs are met. We have all the important things. We have a home, our farm, cars, clothes, food, insurance, etc. Things we go without… expensive vacations, cable TV. Eating out all the time, extra shopping trips, NEW vehicles, NEW furniture. I’m thrilled to be at home. I wouldn’t trade it for all the money in the world.”

Carla: “We would definitely have a bigger home if I worked. Ironically, we probably would not have had as many children and would not have needed more space. I know compared to many around the world my home is a mansion. We pray we will have more room someday, but God knows our needs. He is able!”

Wendy: My job, my large home, our two cars…22 years ago and four children later and would do it all again in a flash.”

Robin: “My salary which at the time was half of our income. I didn’t care at the time – I would have lived in a cardboard box in order to stay home with my daughter! However, God has always been faithful to meet our needs! Not always in the way I wanted or would have done it or even in the timing I wanted, but all according to His will and plan.”

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.
Ephesians 3:20

A Nurse Comes Home Full Time

A Nurse Comes Home Full Time

Hi Lori! I love your blog and your ministry to women. Unfortunately, there aren’t many woman even Christians who understand the roles women should play as a wife and mother. I am 33 years old and stay home with my children ages eight and ten. I began homeschooling them when my youngest was five. I was raised with a Christian mother and grandmother, but I was never taught that a woman should stay home. In fact, that idea was just crazy to me when my fiancee at nineteen told me that’s what he wanted me to do. (His mother always stayed home when he was a child.) I was told to go to college and maybe not even get married.

I got married young at twenty and finished college then worked as a nurse. It was hard even without children. My husband and I argued over everything from money to house work to what to eat for dinner. I ended up pregnant with my first child soon after beginning to work and continued until we both had it. We were both miserable when I worked full time. I attempted working part time after my second child was born, but that didn’t work out well either. I was miserable being away from my children and worried about them all day long even when they were with him. We were both exhausted trying to make it work. He was the first to say, “Why be married living like this?”

We could have end up divorced the way it was going. But the day I quit my job and we submitted to God’s plan for women, our lives changed dramatically. Our relationship changed. We became the couple we started out as. We are truly best friends and lovers.

We worried that money would be tight, but honestly, it never felt like it. Sure, we couldn’t go out to dinner every night or buy whatever we wanted. My shopping splurges changed from the mall to the dollar store. I couldn’t take the kids on every outing I wanted, but we learned the beauty in nature and simple days of playing games and going to the park. I have a clean home and dinner for my family. Most of the time some clean laundry. Ha! When we decided public school wasn’t right for our kids, it was an easy choice to homeschool. Our kids are well rounded and well behaved, mostly.

Every since, my husband has been able to focus on his job as a provider. He was able to go against the grain and start his own business with my support as his help meet. We have been very blessed with that. He is able to be home often and spend time with our children.

He and I plan that I never have to go back to work. He loves me being home with the children and being home when he gets home with a smile and dinner. I don’t feel imprisoned or controlled. I am genuinely happy as a wife and mom. I am glad to be here for my children and hopefully will be as they grow up and have families as well as whatever is in store for us in the future. I just wished I’d done it sooner!

I have followed your other blog off and on as time allows. I just want you to know what a impact it has had on me. It’s nice to read your posts about a woman’s role, and I love the posts about marriage. Thank you so much for sharing and being such an encouragement! Thanks for speaking God’s truth about women’s roles and not being ashamed or afraid to share. So many churches don’t fully teach this. They teach around it. Where would we be if most woman stayed in the home!

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house,
give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.

1 Timothy 5:14

Fewer Young People Want Gender Equality at Home

Fewer Young People Want Gender Equality at Home

Many adults today have been negatively impacted by the feminist movement; their mothers worked full time thus they didn’t spend much time with their mothers. They were raised by strangers mostly, and/or their parents were divorced. Because their mothers worked outside of the home, there was most likely a lot of quarreling between their parents (if they had both a mother and father) about who would do what since the roles seemed interchangeable because women and men were “equal” in every way. Children who were raised in this environment are going to clearly see that it doesn’t work out for good. Most likely, they aren’t going to want to continue living a life that hurt them so much, if they are wise enough to know there is a better way and there is – God’s way!

There’s an article called Americans Don’t Want What Feminists Want and I hope it is true. Feminist Activist Sheryl Sandberg wants men to “support” women in their career goals by working less at their jobs and more on the home front so women can do less on the home front and work more at their jobs. “My goal is very clear, which is that women run half our companies and countries and men run half our homes.”

Her goal and all feminist’s goals are against God’s plan for us and this will never work as if puny humans think what they make up is better than God’s perfect design for us. God didn’t create women to be leaders. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths (Isaiah 3:12). He created men to be the leaders with their temperament and build. He created women to be homemakers and raise children with their more emotional makeup and sensitive qualities. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully (1 Timothy 5:14).

“A new study by the Council of Contemporary Families was released that shows fewer young people want gender equality at home! The study found an increase in the number of college-bound students who believe families are better off if men are ‘the achievers outside the home’ and women ‘handled most of the family and domestic duties.’ There has also been ‘an uptick in the number who prefer the men to be dominant.'”

These young adults see the value in a mother home full time since they didn’t have one. They know the loneliness of wanting to be with their mother so badly that it hurt, yet having to watch her leave them every day all day. They felt the insecurity of not having one person to bond with when they were children. They didn’t like it and they know it’s not right or the way it should be. They may have even gathered and played at a neighbor friend’s home where the mother was home full time and saw the difference a mother at home makes. This home smelled good from food cooking and had a warm, comfortable feel about it because mother was at home. They grew up longing for this in their own homes instead of having an overworked and exhausted mom for a few hours in the evening when she got home from work and had given all of her best energy to others.

“Unlike feminists, they recognize the significance and value of domestic life and accept that sex differences are a vital component of any good marriage.” They recognize the significance and value of domestic life for women because most of them didn’t have it and yearned for it. They want to give their children what they didn’t have. Women have found out that working full time while having children isn’t such a good idea. The young women want to be the ones raising their children, fixing them healthy meals instead of fast food often, and being there to see their babies’ first smile, first step, and have the energy to enjoy them.

Growing up, these young adults were smart enough to see that their dads were bigger and stronger and more of an authority figure than their mothers. They knew it’s a dad’s responsibility to protect and provide for them and a mom’s responsibility to nurture. Dad and Mom aren’t “equal” as the feminists tried to get them to believe and it was clearly visible to them. Feminism lied to them and all they inherited from the feminists’ corrupt philosophy was messed up childhoods without a mother to raise them and most likely not a father in the home. Of course, they aren’t going to want this for their children!

“Women have been brainwashed to believe that the absence of a titled, payroll occupation condemns a woman to failure, boredom, and even imprisonment within the confines of the home. Although feminism speaks of liberation, self-fulfillment, personal rights, and breaking down barriers, in reality these phrases inevitably have produced the opposite. In fact, a salaried job and titled position can inhibit a woman’s natural nesting instinct and maternity by inverting her priorities so that she almost inevitably experiences failures in her life in the arena that should be most important, that is, in the fashioning of an earthly shelter for those whom she loves most and in the rearing of her own children.” (Dorothy Patterson)

“The younger generation isn’t interested in what women like Sheryl Sandberg and Gloria Steinem are interested in.” Thankfully.

The Lord bringeth the counsel of the heathen to nought: He maketh the devices of the people of none effect. The counsel of the LORD standeth for ever, the thoughts of His heart to all generations.
Psalm 33:10, 11