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Month: March 2017

Modesty in the Summer Months

Modesty in the Summer Months

When I began writing this post, I meant to write about the undressing of women in the warmer months which is happening here in California. I decided to do a word study on the word ‘modest’ and did you know that it appears only one time in the Bible? “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with modesty and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” (1 Timothy 2:9).  Modest in the dictionary means “free from ostentation or showy extravagance.” Since it appears only one time in the Word, I decided to go to the commentaries to see what the men of old had to say about it.

“Being present and taking part silently—avoiding especially in these services anything like a conspicuous dress or showy ornaments—anything, in fact, which would be likely to arouse attention, or distract the thoughts of others” (Elliot’s Commentary). This verse about modesty appears in the context where the Apostle Paul is explaining worship in a church setting. Men are to lift holy hands; women are to adorn themselves in modest apparel and good works, learn in silence with subjection, and not teach nor be in authority over men.

Therefore, what we wear to church should not be anything that attracts attention to ourselves or distracts others from worship, but it seems that it should be this way in our daily lives, too, since our lives should be lived in worship to Him! (I do love how this commentary describes women in the church service; “being present and taking part silently.” A good reminder for us all since this is a discipline women must learn and many are rebelling against today as we can see from all the women preachers on the scene.)

“What the apostle especially forbids is that immodest manner of dressing which is calculated to excite impure desires in the spectators, or a vain admiration of the beauty of those that use it: also that gaudiness or showiness of dress which proceeds from vanity, and nourishes vanity, wastes time and money, and so prevents many good works” (Benson Commentary). Our culture is obsessed with clothes. Our closets are packed full with them. Styles change often so we mistakenly believe we must too. Most of us spend way too much money on clothes and on ourselves, yet the Lord wants us to spend our time and money on good works instead. Let’s not dress to attract undue attention from others since we are called to be shamefaced. The only thing that should attract others to ourselves is our joy and kindness towards them.

“Good works are the best ornament; these are, in the sight of God, of great price. Modesty and neatness are more to be consulted in garments than elegance and fashion. And it would be well if the professors of serious godliness were wholly free from vanity in dress. They should spend more time and money in relieving the sick and distressed, than in decorating themselves and their children. To do this in a manner unsuitable to their rank in life, and their profession of godliness, is sinful. These are not trifles, but Divine commands. The best ornaments for professors of godliness, are good works” (Matthew Henry). What are good works? Joyfully serving our families and taking good care of them. Helping those in need. Being generous with our time, money, and energy. Praying for others. It’s being living sacrifices as the Lord has asked us to be. Let’s learnt to care a lot more about this instead of how we look; for true beauty is the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit (being gentle and kind).

“A female may as truly violate the precepts of her religion by neglecting her personal appearance as by excessive attention to it. The true idea here is, that her attention to her appearance should be such that she will be offensive to no class of persons; such as to show that her mind is supremely fixed on higher and more important things, and such as to interfere with no duty which she owes, and no good which she can do, either by spending her time needlessly in personal adorning, or by lavishing that money for dress which might do good to others, or by neglecting the proprieties of her station, and making herself offensive to others” (Barnes’ Notes). There needs to be balance. Yes, let’s do our best to look neat and tidy. Our husbands do like us to look pretty and clean. Some women go to the opposite extreme and live in sweats and t-shirts all day without even fixing their hair. This is just as wrong as spending too much time and money on ourselves. We are daughters of the King and so let’s look like it!

“Your appearance is the first thing people will notice about you and thus creates an impression of who you are and what your influence will be. You are often faced with a dilemma of choosing between contemporary fashion trends and the commitments to purity and holiness of your faith…Just as I assume that the label on a product is accurate, so God’s Word challenges me to dress in such a way that my outward appearance is an accurate label for my character.” (Pat Ennis)

But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation.
1 Peter 1:15

***Now, onto dressing modestly for the warmer months! I found this skirt I’m wearing in the picture at Zappos. (It was on sale when I bought it and you have to buy it one size smaller than you usually wear.) I love it! It is so comfortable. The first time I wore it was on a walk near our home that Ken and I take every day. At the end of the walk, he said to me, “I like you a lot more in that skirt than in jeans!” I was actually surprised but happy since it’s a lot more comfortable. (I wear these soft bike shorts under them for comfort and more modesty.) I used to wear shorts in the warmer months but I’m switching to wearing more dresses and skirts since I do believe they are more modest, especially as I grow older. How do you dress modestly in summer?

Raising Children in the Light of Truth

Raising Children in the Light of Truth

This is a lemon tree I bought at Costco a few weeks ago. We have many lemon trees outside of our home and we have for years but they don’t do that good. This tree is sheltered from the salty air and winds that those outside are exposed to on a daily basis. It doesn’t have snails and grubs crawling all over it during the night like the ones outside. I often check it to see if it has enough water and fertilize it with healthy food made just for it. Every day, it receives sunlight from the early afternoon until the sun sets because it sits in a southwest corner of our home with windows on both sides. This tree is FULL of flowers like the ones you see and is so much healthier than the ones outside. It’s exactly how children should be raised: sheltered from the wicked culture around them and basking in the light of the Truth while being cared for and nurtured by their mothers.

Matt Walsh is one wise, young man. He wrote this yesterday on Facebook:

“I was on with Glenn today to talk about my book, The Unholy Trinity. He asked me if I have any hope for the future of our country. I answered as honestly as I could, even if my answer is not necessarily cheerful.

The truth is that we have a very long and arduous road ahead. If we are going to ‘reclaim the culture,’ it will be something achieved over the course of generations. We need to raise our children in the light of truth, and they need to raise theirs the same way, and if we stay on that path for a considerable amount of time, we may be able to say, sometime off in the future, that we live in a truly Christian nation again (although it will still be far from perfect, until Christ returns). I say ‘we,’ but you and I will be long dead by that point.

Anyone who suggests that the fight can be won any other way, or any quicker, is lying or delusional. We lost the culture over generations. We have to win it back the same way.”

And how do we do this? By mothers going back home full time and raising their children in the ways of the Lord as Timothy’s grandmother and mother did by passing on their faith to him (2 Timothy 1:3). By mothers who are determined to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4) instead of sending them off to godless institutions that are run by a godless government most of their lives. By wives who are committed to their marriages until death do they part and learn to be submissive, obedient, and kind towards their husband and allowing their husband to lead their families. Women who allow Christ to work in and through them so their husband and children know, without a doubt, that they love the Lord deeply.

By mothers who teach, train, and discipline their children for the purposes of godliness and hide God’s Word deeply in their hearts. By women who care more about their children’s eternal souls than making a buck or having it all. This is a full-time job and don’t let anyone, especially feminists or even your church, tell you otherwise. It is mothers’ God-given role to be home, bearing children, and raising them for the Lord and His Kingdom.

This culture needs Jesus. All cultures need Jesus. A woman from Africa commented on my Facebook page yesterday and wrote that women there have to work to support their families. Africa needs Jesus and His ways. It needs men who are willing to marry and work hard to provide for their families so the mother of their children can stay home and raise those children in the ways of the Lord: to work hard, to have self-control, to be joyful, continually pointing them back to the truth of God’s Word, teaching them to have sound doctrine and a sound mind, and to love the Lord more than the pleasures of their culture.

Mothers at home, you are doing Kingdom work and storing your treasures in heaven. Each moment you spend at home raising your children is good in God’s eyes. No, making money is not the be all and end all at all. It’s not your job. Your job is to raise the next generation and stop the madness of what we see taking place around us. It’s raising children without an entitlement mindset, but instead, children who work hard and enjoy the fruit of their labor. Let your husbands decide how to raise your sons to be men. Don’t interfere!

As Lindsay Harold stated it perfectly, “If you want to get your man excited about Christianity, help him see this as a culture war that we need him to fight by training his own children to be soldiers in the realm of ideas, to fight lies with truth, to show evidence for the Christian faith, and to stand strong in the face of oppression, ridicule, and even persecution, and then to do the same with their children. This is a vision that appeals to men and that we need Christian men to rise up and take on in their own corner of the world, to fulfill the mandate to be fruitful and multiply, to have dominion over the earth, and to spread the gospel.”

All of this is good and pleasing in the sight of God and this is all that matters. Women have blasphemed the Word of God by not being keepers at home but instead allowing others raise their children. Let this not be said about you.

And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. nd thou shalt write them upon the door posts of thine house, and upon thy gates: That your days may be multiplied, and the days of your children, in the land which the LORD sware unto your fathers to give them, as the days of heaven upon the earth.
Deuteronomy 11:19-21

Nancy Wolgemuth’s “Better Understanding” of Keepers at Home

Nancy Wolgemuth’s “Better Understanding” of Keepers at Home

“A woman who is not content to have a priority placed on her home and her role there – who has to be always out, always doing other things, always engaged with people outside her home – you may find that, if she’s not willing to be content with her home ministry and responsibilities, there are other sins that will accompany that as well.” (1 Timothy 5:11, 12)

 “If women would focus more on making their home a place of beauty and order, and a haven of peace and joy and contentment for their own husband and their own children and for guests that God brings into that home, how much protection might there be on other fronts and from the possibility of other kinds of sins.”

Both of these quotes were given by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth before she got married many years ago and are no longer on her site. She clearly understood the importance of women being in the home and working there. I was excited about her new book Adorned since it was based on Titus 2:4, 5. I was especially excited to see what she had to say about being keepers at home, since this is the topic I get most anger about from women in our feminized culture.

When I read this, I was concerned: “As a result of studying this over the years, this is one phrase in this passage where my thinking has evolved over the years, and I’m teaching this a little differently today than I did when I first recorded this series eight years ago because I’ve grappled with more of what it’s talking about, some of the cultural and historical background and some of the interpretation of the Scripture. So I want to share with you a better understanding of what I think this passage is saying to us.”

But then she said this: “The world’s idea of home is so messed up, so fractured, so splintered, which isn’t to say that Christians don’t have family problems. They do. We do. But we’re supposed to have grace for dealing with those issues. And people who are the result of multiple generations of serial divorce and re-marriage, promiscuity, and gender confusion, their hearts are longing for home. And it’s Christian homes tended to by Christian mothers and wives and women that ought to create in the world’s mind and in their hearts an appetite for our ultimate home of heaven.”

 And this: “The ‘private sphere,’ on the other hand, the home that used to be the center of productivity and the economic engine for the society, the ‘private sphere’ has now been devalued—that’s the home where loving marriages are nurtured, where children are discipled and trained, where disabled or elderly family members can be cared for, and hospitality and care can be extended to friends and neighbors. Those things you don’t get paid to do in your home, so that work has been devalued while the work outside the home that you get a paycheck for has been exalted.”

Then she began to veer off in another direction: “Far from demeaning women, Paul was actually in this passage progressive for his time and his culture because he called Christian women throughout his epistles to be intentional about employing their heads, their hearts, and their hands for the sake of the gospel.

 The apostle worked with Priscilla and her husband in their tent-making business.

 His ministry in Philippi was supported by the business successes of a woman named Lydia.”

She argues that the home is no longer a place of commerce like it was back in biblical days. Families worked together to provide a living for themselves. Nowadays, she states that the home is a place of consumption and people leave their homes to make money so they can use it in their homes. I disagree. Homes can still be a place of commerce. Women can save money by cooking from scratch, growing some of their own food, using things up, not wasting, being creative, sewing, selling goods or services from home, and many other things. There are many women today who live simply and carefully while living within their husband’s income, so they can be home with their children.

 “Paul is not mandating that women are only to work at home or that the home is to be their only sphere of influence or investment. He is not saying that their domestic activities are to be their sole focus of that their home requires 24/7 attention at all times….As we have seen, that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the only or number one priority at all times. But he is saying to women, ‘Don’t drop the ball!’…This passage also implies that ‘young women’ – that is, women in the child-bearing, child-rearing season of life – have a distinct responsibility to prioritize their homes and children…Periodically we need to push the pause button and ask ourselves if some of those activities (jobs, hobbies, even ministry involvements) would be better postponed for another time when we can undertake them without violating other God-given responsibilities.”

“What matters – particularly for married women and moms – is not what a woman’s home looks like or what she does there, but whether she is giving it the appropriate priority…Having a heart for home will look different for different women, depending on the configuration and particular circumstances of their family and what best serves their needs at any given time.”

Then Nancy gives examples of women who worked in various ways to make money but she never mentions family, relatives, and the church financially supporting widows so they don’t have to leave their homes as the Apostle Paul did in 1 Timothy 5. Nor does she site studies that prove that children with mothers home full time are much more emotionally stable and secure. I am seeing the devastating results of mothers not being home full time on women I mentor who didn’t have mothers home full time with them and how it affects their lack of ability to be mothers and wives.

Nancy does give a story of a woman who hated housework and became involved in a ministry outside of her home, leaving her husband to do all of the housework. Eventually, he found another woman who was interested in him and left her. But her eyes were opened and she saw how she had torn her home down with her own hands and “how she had devalued and neglected her husband, daughter, and home.” Thankfully, they were able to rebuild their marriage.

 “And when we cultivate homes where others can grow and be nurtured, where they feel welcomes, loved, and cared for, we put the heart and character of God on display…The often tedious and mundane tasks of homemaking become acts of worship, our ordinary movements works of art.”

She also used a great quote by Jani Ortlund: “Our homes, imperfect as they are, should be a reflection of our eternal home, where troubled souls find peace, weary hearts find rest, hungry bodies find refreshment, lonely pilgrims find communion, and wounded spirits find compassion.”

Nancy’s mother did have seven children and was a keeper at home. “My mother worked hard to create an atmosphere in our home that reflected God’s beauty, His order, and His merciful, welcoming heart. In so doing, she gave our hearts a taste for heaven.”

My thoughts: Nancy has definitely softened her stance on women being keepers at home and I can understand why. Women are merciless in trying to get me to soften my stance but I try hard to stay true to Scripture. Feminism has invaded the Church and made it very difficult to teach women to be keepers at home. Nancy still clearly teaches the value of women being keepers at home but gives many exceptions and I know there are some, but I have a hard time finding them in Scripture and especially when the exceptions become the majority. Priscilla and Lydia most likely worked in their homes. We are not told if they had children, but I seriously doubt they left their homes for eight hours a day and their children in the care of others.

Single mothers have a greater opportunity today to seek the Lord in wisdom in how to be able to stay home and make money from home. Family, relatives, and the church should be supporting widows so they don’t even have to think about providing for themselves. They can then focus upon raising their children who need them now more than ever since they have lost their father. The last thing these children need is to be raised by someone other than their mothers.

Nancy fails to mention the high cost of higher education and the debt most amass because of it or the debauchery in most universities. Also, many times when women achieve good careers, they can’t quit when they have babies due to the debt and amount of time spent getting their career. Husbands many times want their wives to work when they have good careers because they see dollar signs instead of the value of their wives raising their children.

Therefore, I will continue to encourage women to be full-time keepers at home since this is what God commands that older women teach. What each woman wants to do with this teaching is up to them but I encourage them to search the Word for themselves without being swayed by feminist teachings. If only we had another President who was able to articulate clearly the importance of a keeper at home:

 “The good mother, the wise mother…is more important to the community than even the ablest man; her career is more worthy of honor and is more useful to the community than the career of any man, no matter how successful.” – Theodore Roosevelt

 “To me, feminism has backfired against women…I see feminism as the Great Experiment that Failed, and women in my generation, its perpetrators, are the casualties. Many of us, myself included, are saddled with raising children alone…Feminism freed men, not women…What’s worse, we asked for it. We packed them off to day-care canters where they could get their nurturing from professionals. Then we put on our suits and ties, packed our briefcases and took off on the Great Experiment, convinced that there was no difference between ourselves and the guys in the other offices…The reality of feminism is a lot of frenzies and overworked women dropping kids off at a day-care center.” – Kay Eberling

Finally, from one of my favorite older women who teaches truth, Nancy Campbell: “Ephesians 6:8 tells us: ‘Whatsoever GOOD thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive the Lord.’ Dear mother, I want to remind you that you are doing a GOOD work. God tells us in Titus 2:4, 5 that the ‘GOOD’ things the older women must teach the younger women are all about the home–loving your husband, loving your children, and being a keeper at home. When you embrace this lifestyle God planned for you, you are doing a good work. When you nurse your baby, teach your children, prepare the meals, clean, and keep your house in order you are doing GOOD things.

This is why I will never stop teaching younger women to be “keepers at home… that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Titus 2:5

Did My College Education Make Me a Better Wife or Mother?

Did My College Education Make Me a Better Wife or Mother?

After graduating from high school, I went to college for five and a half years to get my teaching credential. After receiving my teaching credential, I taught three and a half years before I came home full time to be with my children. Looking back, can I think of any way that my college education helped me be a better wife or mother; my most important roles in life? No.

It didn’t teach me how to be a more submissive and obedient wife. It didn’t teach me to be my husband’s help meet. It didn’t teach me how to raise my children. It didn’t teach me how to love my husband and children. It didn’t teach me to be modest, discreet, sober, or good. It didn’t teach me to be a good homemaker or fix nourishing food. It didn’t teach me any of these.

“First of all, as you look at this list (Titus 3:4, 5), the first thing that strikes me is that it is very counter-cultural. It is not a politically correct list. If you think about it in light of our culture, this is really a radical curriculum. It’s God’s way. In fact, you will not see these subjects as part of the curriculum of the women’s studies program of almost any university in this country. You have a lot of women’s studies programs, but these are not the things being taught in those programs. This is a biblical program, but it really runs counter to the whole direction and drift of the culture.

We’ve seen what the world’s curriculum does in the lives of women and how it leaves them disordered and dysfunctional and distressed and in depression. I think it’s time we try God’s way. We see what can happen when we begin to educate and train women in the ways of God.” (Revive Our Hearts)

To tell you the truth, I can’t remember anything that I learned in college. I didn’t like any of my classes. I can’t remember any of my professors. I do remember a chapel service where Elisabeth Elliot spoke at and I loved listening to her. I love the friends I made at college and am still friends with today even though we all live far from each other. I met Ken my senior year but few of my friends met their spouses at college.

Am I a smarter mother because I went to college? I don’t think so. I have studied the Word on my own for many years and learned from godly preachers and teachers. I have read many books on marriage, homemaking, and child raising. I scour the Internet for good things to read. I am self-motivated to always be learning but what I learned in college didn’t interest me at all.

The difference between attending college now verses back then is dramatic. My college was a Christian college and it costs $3600 per year which included room, board, and tuition. No college costs this little now and student debt loans are a heavy burden on our country and the students who have graduated and have to pay them back. The majority of them never use their degree for their jobs and have no ability to pay back their student loans.

In order to be good wives and mother, you don’t need a college education. If you want one, make sure you can do it without a lot of debt. Even then, most colleges and universities teach so many things that are contrary to the Word of God that I wouldn’t recommend many of them. The good ones are very expensive. Our culture idolizes education. God doesn’t so I don’t; for the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. There are a lot better ways to use your single years between graduating high school and marriage besides going to college, if you choose to do so like getting a job and saving money for your future family or ministering in local pregnancy crisis centers or in your church. (I made a YouTube yesterday for unmarried women who want to be wives and mothers.)

Pray about it and seek the Lord for wisdom. Just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.
Colossians 2:8

Here are two great articles on the topic of educating our children:

Why the Public School System is a Failure

What If Everything We Think About School is Wrong?

Bragging About Messy Homes

Bragging About Messy Homes

Women brag about messy homes today because they have “more important” things to do. They need “me time” and time to pursue their hobbies. They need to play with their children often and take them many places for different experiences while neglecting their home duties. These are all considered badges of honor and praised. I see it consistently in younger women while having a clean and tidy home is mocked, as if it’s not important. God thinks it’s important. This is why He commands that women be “keepers at home” and work hard in their home by NOT eating the bread of idleness.

God is a God of beauty and order and our homes should reflect this, women. “Order and usefulness and purpose bring satisfaction, but God desired that there should be beauty in His work” (A.W.  Tozer). Way too many women have no idea how to keep clean and tidy homes anymore. My best friend’s home was always clean and tidy despite being a widow with three active young sons to care for. She cleaned as she went and worked hard at home. I never heard her talk about “me time” or her hobbies. She knew her ministry was in her home and with her sons. She wanted them to grow up in a calm and beautiful environment. Clean homes are beautiful, even if they are not expensive homes.

Katie Schuermann wrote an article called 10 Reasons I Still Keep a Clean Home Despite Everyone Insisting It’s Stupid. And of course they do because we, as a culture, have drifted so far away from God’s principles. “In an age when messes are touted as holy and clutter is extolled as the sign of productive genius, I find myself embarrassed by my organized closets and clean countertops. Who but a self-conceited nelly would bother folding dish towels before putting them in the drawer? Only a petty dolt would routinely organize her pantry, right? And what kind of cold-hearted woman asks her children to make their beds before breakfast? 

Keeping a clean, orderly home was once the hallmark of happy domesticity, but now, messiness is next to godliness. A littered living room floor is certain proof of family fealty on Facebook, and every good blogging mother knows that laughing and playing with her children is more important than wiping down the bathroom sink.”

Her mother taught her to be clean and tidy. My mother did the same thing. Every Saturday morning, she had a list of chores she expected us to finish and I remember many Saturdays out in the yard weeding. Once she broke her leg badly and had to be in a large cast for several months, so we had to all pitch in and help a lot. Now, when my grandchildren come over, I insist they clean up all of their messes before I take them home. They made the mess, they clean it up.

Clean homes are more peaceful. Cluttered homes mean cluttered minds. Declutter your homes! It’s almost impossible to keep a home clean and tidy with a lot of clutter. My oldest daughter has moved a lot in her six years of marriage but they both like it because it keeps them from gathering too much junk. They are ruthless when it comes to decluttering. They love to have a home that is clean, tidy, and uncluttered. I love these kinds of homes, along with some beautiful daffodils to brighten them up!

If you are looking for an easy and very effective way to clean your home without toxic chemicals and simply with water, please check out this YouTube by Linda and how easy cleaning glass, mirrors, and windows are with Norwex without leaving any streaks left behind! Norwex has amazing products and makes cleaning super easy! I made a YouTube about my Norwex but Linda is much better and more professional, plus she shows you how to use all of their products. If you want to order Norwex in the USA, check out Amber’s site. Amber is great to work with and gets your products to you right away. (The kitchen, body, window, and enviro cloth are my favorites! I make NO profit from any of this. It’s just a great product and I love sharing things I love!)

With all of the time saving appliances and great things to clean with, there is no reason why any fairly healthy woman should have a messy, dirty home. “Your home should express your personality, your values, and your heart. Surround yourself with people and things you love, and you will always feel at home.” -Dorothy Patteron

She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

***Here is a good chore list that is age appropriate to begin teaching your children from the time they are young. They will appreciate it when they are grown up with self-discipline, clean homes, and are hard workers!

Prisoners In Our Homes and Marriages?

Prisoners In Our Homes and Marriages?

Yes, some feminists actually believe women are prisoners in their homes and marriages and they must fight to free us from our bondage. You don’t believe me? Here is what a one woman wrote as she shared one of my handwritten posts:

Yes, women are capable of determining what to do with their lives but for women who love the Lord, they want to make their decisions based upon His Word and not their “wants” as many are doing today. The reason many Christian women who work outside of the home are against you advocating for “gender equality” is because they are wise enough to know that God values women and men equally and they both have worth, but they aren’t the same which is what feminists are fighting for. There are many women who don’t want to be men. They like being women and don’t want sameness. We don’t want you advocating for us, because our homes and marriages aren’t prisons. They are God’s perfect will for us because He created them for us.

Has my marriage and being home full time for 32 years been prison for me? No, it has been a wonderful place to be! I have a husband who works hard so I can stay home. I live in a beautiful home. We raised four great children together. He was a wonderful father to them. When I was sick all of those years, I didn’t have to worry about going out to a job since he was my provider. He fixes many things in the home. He helps me often. Just yesterday, I had the freedom to go and pick up my one year old granddaughter to have for a few hours. I then took her over to my parent’s home for a while. They LOVE being with her. Here is my dad carrying her to the car for me. He never wanted my mom to work outside of the home, so he worked hard for many years so my mom could be home full time with us. He told me yesterday that there’s nothing more valuable than a mother home raising her children.

On Tuesday, a friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch with her so we did. Ken has never minded me going out with friends. He trusts me with money and has never said no to anything I’ve ever wanted to buy since he knows I’m not frivolous. I also have time now that my children are all grown up to teach younger women.

Whereas when I had a career, I had to make sure I was at work on time or I’d get in trouble. The stress level was high in order to perform, please my boss, parents, and do a good job. Many nights, I couldn’t sleep because I had some concerns about the next day and then trying to get through it on little sleep. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and had to spend my weekends cleaning, cooking, and shopping for food. Those years felt much more like a prison to me and all for a paycheck? No, thanks.

So, whoever you are, please don’t advocate for me because the more feminists advocate for “their rights” the worse it gets for women. Cultures haven’t gotten better since the women’s rights movement. They’ve gotten worse because children are no longer being raised by their mothers. In Australia, they are advocating for mothers to not even have the choice to stay home because it hurts their economy – not enough people to tax.

“But once a child goes to school, she argued, opting out of the workforce should no longer be an option.

‘Rather than wail about the supposed liberation in a woman’s right to choose to shun paid employment, we should make it a legal requirement that all parents of children of school-age or older are gainfully employed,’ Le Marquand wrote.”

This is what happens when people “hold the truth in unrighteousness” as the Apostle Paul wrote about in Romans 1. They hate God and refuse to live for Him so they rebel against His ways and everything that is good and right. Women, living in submission and yes, even obedience to your husbands isn’t prison. It’s good and godly. Feminists will gladly live in submission and obey their bosses but falsely belief it’s bondage with their husbands. Do you see the hypocrisy? They leave their homes all day for almighty mammon and their children in the care of others. This, too, is foolishness and chasing after the wind.

Should we be surprised that the single biggest factor that is causing Millennials to abandon their faith is the “breakdown of the family” which feminists are responsible for? No. God created us. He gave us roles to fulfill and He knows what’s best for us, which includes mothers raising their children full time and caring for their husbands and homes.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do,
do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

Trying to Stay Visible as Keepers at Home

Trying to Stay Visible as Keepers at Home

The feminists movement of the 1960s began because women felt worthless and invisible. Feminists came along and urged mothers to leave their homes, find careers, make money and a name for themselves. An article written by Leslie Loftus attempts to explain the perplexities of trying to be a stay-at-home mom since feminism. “‘Stay-at-home mom’ became the preferred term for opt-out mothers everywhere precisely because it focused on the children. ‘Housewife’ was too focused on homes and husbands. We were defensive enough rationalizing wasting our education for our children—we weren’t even going to attempt rationalizing that for our marriages. We are women. We’ve got this not only without men, but in spite of them.”

Did you follow that? Feminism hasn’t made women’s life easier; it’s made it more complicated. Women have become ashamed to say they are focused on their homes and husbands but God commands they focus upon them. Focusing solely on the children, as many have done today, is destructive in so many ways, especially for the children and if it ruins marriages from neglect. Then there’s the issue of all the years gaining higher education and most likely careers, yet trying to justify all of this time and money spent when staying home full time with the children. Finally, there’s a dig against men as if men aren’t valuable asset to societies and women don’t need them.

Then when the children are all grown up and gone, the mothers feel invisible and have no idea what to do with themselves. (It happens that I just made a YouTube the other day called Spending My Days as an Older Woman without having a career.) I was one who went to higher education – five and a half years after graduating from high school. I also had a career as a school teacher for three and a half years after that until I was able to come home full time. I never thought to find my identity in my higher education or career. All I ever wanted to do in life was to be married and have children, even though I was steeped in the feminist movement. Schooling and careers never held any sway on me.

Our identities shouldn’t be found in what we decide to do any ways. They are found in Christ, who He says we are, and what He tells us to do. He made it easy for us, women, because He carefully spelled it out in His Word. We don’t need to get involved in “mommy wars” or try to find some false sense of “fulfillment” outside of the home that many women are chasing today.

Leslie also wrote,  “An associate dean of Stanford writes a book on how herding our kids in a higher education rat race stunts their growth, and yet we still persist.” I may have to read this book because I agree. Whether people know or love God or not, they are made in His image and He gave us an instruction manual. He has this to say about worldly wisdom: “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19).  Not every child, male or female, has to go for higher education! There are way more negatives to it these days than positives.

“I think much of the problem is that we bought into the Second Wave idea that the only valued work is paid work.” She’s right. God doesn’t say that making money is the be all and end all. In fact, He warns against the love of money. No, He commands we be Kingdom investors and what greater thing can there be than investing our lives into our husbands, children, and homes?

Her conclusion: “The narrative is this: if you don’t earn a paycheck—complete with Social Security and federal income tax withholding—then what you do is worthless. We secretly believe we are wasting our educations, and that we will be invisible in motherhood.” This right here summarizes the lies women have been fed for far too long. God created you and He created you to marry, bear children and guide the home. You are not invisible to Him and this is all that matters. You are doing Kingdom work.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
Matthew 6:19, 20

Feminism Destroys Boys

Feminism Destroys Boys

More and more boys are growing up fatherless due to the women’s movement. All feminists cared about were their “rights” and getting what they wanted no matter the cost. The cost? boys. This is way too high of a cost since boys grow up to be men and all cultures need hard-working men to survive.

In the article Boys in Crisis, Warren Farrell says some powerful things against feminism even though he championed it years ago. Now, however, he sees the harm it has done to boys. Back in my parent’s day, there were very few divorces. Marriages were for life and children grew up with a mother and a father. Girls grew up to stay home and raise their children. Boys grew up to work hard and provide for their families. Now many boys are growing up with single mothers and this is devastating for them. Boys NEED fathers to toughen them up and be men. Men need to work hard and find their purpose in providing for their families. Feminism has stolen this from men.

“Boys with minimal or no father involvement often look to their dads as role models, but because they don’t have much time with their dads (due to divorce), their role models are more ‘straw men’ or ‘straw dads.’ These boys don’t benefit from overnights, hang-out time, and the many hours it takes for boys to bond with their dads, and trust that their feelings won’t be dismissed. Dads tend to build bonds with their sons by, for example, playing games and rough-housing, and then use the resulting bond as leverage for their sons to ‘get to bed on time’ lest there be ‘no playing tomorrow night.’ This boundary enforcement teaches boys postponed gratification.

Boys with minimal or no father involvement more frequently suffer from an addiction to immediate gratification. For example, with minimal or no father involvement there is a much greater likelihood of video game addiction, more ADHD, worse grades in every subject, less empathy, less assertiveness (but more aggression), fewer social skills, more alienation and loneliness, more obesity, rudderlessness, anger, drugs, drinking, delinquency, disobedience, depression and suicide.”

He goes on to explain that Hitler’s army went after the fatherless and so does ISIS. These young men are vulnerable to joining groups that are mean and angry. Divorce causes children to grow up to be angry. I have seen it. Everyone bemoans the plight of single women today but most times it is the women who have chosen to be single. Single motherhood has grown so common in America that demographers now believe half of all children will live with a single mom at some point before the age of 18.” Marriage is no longer valued. Women have sex with men without a marriage commitment. If they do get married, they have no clue how to be a wife who loves and respects her husband. Feminism has destroyed womanhood, too.

There are women in the chat room who have fought for their marriages and won. Some of them had affairs and some of them had husbands who had affairs. Everyone was telling them to get divorced but then they would come into the chat room or get a hold of me somehow and I would encourage them to fight for their marriages using 1 Peter 3:1-6. One young woman had a husband who was in an affair for five years and she was ready to divorce him. He wanted her back but everyone told her she would be crazy to go back to him. We encouraged her to go back and become a godly wife. Now, they are expecting their third baby and having “butterflies” for each other. They love each other deeply.

Another woman went back to her husband after they had both had affairs. Now, he is heavily involved in church and being a strong father to his sons; teaching them the ways of godly manhood. She adores her husband. God is good and bringing beauty out of ashes to those who trust Him. There are other women in there who have fought for and won their husbands back and others who are still in the fight but they aren’t giving up. They know what’s at stake not only for them and their husband’s eternal souls, but for the least of these – their children. Their children need their father and mother under one roof.

Life isn’t about us. It’s about God and living our lives the way He has clearly spelled out in Scripture. He created marriage. He created a husband and a wife to have children and raise them for Him. Everything we do should be for His glory. He is glorified when we live for Him and obey Him.

“Hard, hard marriages that persevere in faithfulness, year in and year out, against all odds, tell a great truth about Christ and his church. The blood-bought new covenant will never be broken — ever. That is what is different. That is what is new about the new covenant over the old covenant. He secures its permanence by his blood. And that newness is why Jesus raised the standards of faithfulness in marriage above the standards of the Old Testament law.” (John Piper)

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9

Appreciating Your Husband’s Strength

Appreciating Your Husband’s Strength

 “Men generally want to help their wives and give them gifts. They like to be the hero, if we will give them the chance. Consider the results of a Candid Camera gag. The setup was a woman walking around with one shoe off and limping badly, barely able to walk. She approached some unsuspecting men and asked them to help her get where she was going. Implicit in her approach was the phrase ‘I can’t walk.’ 

One of the men she approached – a stranger – actually picked her up and carried her to her destination. The Candid Camera crew tried it again with another man, and again the man picked her up and carried her. By the end of the episode fifteen men had carried the woman to her destination. These men were every size, age, shape, and race and all of them had the same response: Rescue a woman who needs help. Is your husband really so different than the men captured by the Candid Camera? You will never know until you admit that you need help.” ~ Laura Doyle

God created men bigger and stronger for a reason. They are to be the protectors and providers for women and children. God specifically told them that they were to “toil in the soil” to make a living. When Israel went to war, the men twenty years and older had to go fight as protectors of their nation.

Now imagine if a woman was limping and unable to walk and went up to another women and said the same thing. Would the women respond in the same way? Would every size, age, shape, and race pick her up and carry to her destination? No, the majority of women aren’t strong enough to carry another woman very far. They would most likely tag down the first man that came along and ask for his help. It’s just the way it is because it’s the way God created us no matter how much feminism fights this. I have never seen a woman pick up her husband to go over the threshold of their new home after their wedding. That would just be wrong!

I have a bad neck and can’t pick up heavy things so Ken helps me a lot around the house with heavy things and things that need to be fixed. When I go to Costco alone and have to pick up anything heavy (over five pounds), I wait for the first guy to come along. Not one of them has ever minded and even seemed to like being helpful. Just yesterday, I bought a lemon tree there and men were willing to help me get it into my cart and into my car, then Ken helped me get it into the house. (Yes, I am going to try to grow a lemon tree in a sunny spot in our home! 🙂 )

Recently, I saw a glimpse of bull riding on TV and wondered why women aren’t bull riders. Well, one second of research and I found my answer.

“A lot of it has to do with the female anatomy and insurance. I’ve met some women who could bronc ride with the best of them . . . . . . . .But they couldn’t have kids. Too much damage to internal reproductive organs from the pounding.

When women WERE allowed to compete, they had a higher injury ratio and a lower recovery rate than men. Due to physical strength differences, women rarely won those events when competing against men, and thus the chances of a payout were slim.

There used to be all girl rodeos that included all the events and/or women’s divisions at regular rodeos. I think there still are in some places and in some associations, but they don’t pay out like men’s divisions and carry greater risks.”

Yes, men’s and women’s physical makeup are different because God created them to compliment each other NOT compete with each other. Appreciate this fact instead of fight it and thank your husband for his strength in helping you with the heavy or difficult things!

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Peter 3:7

***In the chat room for the past couple of weeks, we have been sharing what we appreciate and admire about our husbands. We are doing this for 30 days and it’s a wonderful exercise for all of us to dwell on the good and lovely about our husbands. Even some who are married to difficult husbands are sharing and seeing the benefit of dwelling on the good! (Remember, if you want to join the chat room, you must request to join and fill out the application. We have become much more careful about who we accept so it can be a safe place for Christian women.)

The Jezebels Among Us

The Jezebels Among Us

There are many women preachers/teachers/authors out there these days who have “special revelations” from God. God spoke to them, they claim, as if God’s Word isn’t enough for them. Many women love these women preachers, attend their conferences, and believe these Jezebels must be so godly because they “hear from God” even though most of the women in the audience never do, thus they feel inferior and less godly. These Jezebels falsely believe that the words they heard from God are for others so they preach/teach and even write books about Jesus talking to through them. Beware, women!

Hebrews 1:1, 2 is clear that God in times past spoke through prophets but in these last days, He has spoken through Jesus Christ. “God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds.” Everything we need for life and godliness are in His Word and we are warned at the end of Revelation about anyone adding to or subtracting from His Word (Revelation 22:18, 19).

Revelation 2:20 speaks about this woman Jezebel so I thought I would look up in the commentaries to see what godly men who studied the Word had to say about her. “If the above view be right, the leader of the exorcists is a woman—regarded by her followers as a prophetess, as one with a real message from God; but viewed by the Lord of the churches as a very Jezebel, teaching and seducing the servants of God. For letting her alone, for being timid, paying too much deference to her spiritual pretensions, for failing to see and to show that the so-called ‘deep things’ of these teachers were depths of Satan, the chief minister is rebuked.” (Ellicot’s Commentary)

This description sounds a whole lot like a lot of the women preachers today that we are told to not have anything to do with. God doesn’t want women preaching and teaching the Word of God. He wants men to do this. He gave this ministry to men, not to women. God is clear what He wants women to teach other women; the ways of godly womanhood and these Jezebels never teach about the principles of Titus 2:4, 5 as far as I can see or have heard.

Professing Christians are fawning over every heretic, heresy, heretical book, and blasphemous movie. They will race off to conferences with a speaker lineup that reads like a ‘Who’s Who?’ in false ‘ministers of righteousness.’  The truth floats on by them, but they eagerly reach out, grab, and gush over every falsehood. But they will not rejoice over or promote truth. Further, they refuse to invest any time and energy defending anyone who presents truth when they are under attack.”

Banes’ Notes on the Bible has this to say about Jezebels: “The kind of character, therefore, which would be designated by the term as used here, would be that of a woman who was artful and persuasive in her manner; who was capable of exerting a wide influence over others; who had talents of a high order; who was a thorough advocate of error; who was unscrupulous in the means which she employed for accomplishing her ends; and the tendency of whose influence was to lead the people into the abominable practices of idolatry.”

They act so spiritual. They stand up in front of churches behind pulpits. They are loud and commanding in the way they speak. They make up new words that sound spiritual but are not biblical. They leave their homes, husbands, and children to “minister” to women. You won’t hear them teaching about submitting to and obeying their husbands or being keepers at home. They won’t exhort families and churches to care for widows so they can be home with their children. I doubt they will ever mention that women are to be silent in the churches and if women have questions to ask their husbands at home. Forget about the exhortation that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men. No, these important topics for women will most likely never be heard from these Jezebels and we wonder why the Church is so weak and ineffective today.

Then when older women teach younger women all of these principles of godly womanhood and give Scripture to back up what they teach, they are called names, told how horrible they are, and ridiculed by the many who reject God’s truths. C.H. Fisher wrote: “But they reject God’s messengers. They call them mean-spirited, hateful, ignorant, self-righteous, and even diabolical, for the sole reason that His messengers pierce their fickle and carnal hearts with anointed truth. When they speak harsh rebukes to God’s messengers, they are speaking against Him. Condemning God’s messengers is as condemning the message and the One who sent it. It is as rejecting His righteous authority. There will be judgment for that great sin. The reason is because it not only prevents the individuals who reject it from entering the kingdom of heaven, it deceives and prevents other ones from entering.”

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1 Corinthians 14:34