The Transformed Wife

Written By Elisabeth Elliot from Keep a Quiet Heart

The principle cause of boredom is the hatred of work. People are trained from childhood to hate it. Parents often feel guilty of making children do anything but the merest gestures toward work. Perhaps the children are required to make their beds and, in a feeble and half-hearted fashion, tidy up their rooms once a month or so. But take full responsibility to clear the table, load the dishwasher, scrub the pots, wipe the counters? How many have the courage to ask this of a 10 year old? It would be too much to ask of many 10 year olds because parents have seriously asked nothing of them when they are two or three. Children quickly pick up the parents’ negative attitudes toward work and think of it as something most sedulously to be avoided.

Our Lord and Savior worked. There is little doubt that He served in a carpenter shop under the instruction of His earthly father Joseph, putting in long hours, learning skill, care, responsibility, and above all, the glory of work as a gift to glorify His Heavenly Father. He did always those things that please the Father. Later he chose almost all His disciples from those who labored with their hands. Even the apostle Paul, a man of brilliant intellect, made tents.

Booker T. Washington, an African-American who grew up in the South when members of his race were expected to do the hardest and dirtiest jobs, learned his greatest lesson from the example of a Christian woman. A New Englander, the founder of the Hampton Institute, she herself washed the windows the day before school started, so it would be nice for those children who had been born slaves.

Is work a necessary evil, even a curse? A Christian who spent many years in Soviet work camps, learning to know work at its most brutal, it’s most degrading and dehumanizing, testified that he took pride in it, did the best he could, worked to the limit of his strength every day. Why? Because he saw it as a gift from God, coming to him from the hand of God, the very will of God for him. He remembered that Jesus did not make benches and roof beams and plow handles by means of miracles, but by means of saw, axe, and adze.

Wouldn’t it make an astounding difference, not only in the quality of the work we do, but also in our satisfaction, even our joy, if we recognized God’s gracious gift in every single task, from making a bed or bathing a baby? If our children saw us doing “heartily as unto the Lord” all the work we do, they would learn true happiness. Instead of feeling that they must be allowed to do what they like, they would learn to like what they do.

St. Ignatius Loyola prayed, “Teach us, Good Lord, to labor and to ask for no reward save that of knowing that we do Thy will.” As I learn to pray that prayer, I find that there are many more rewards that come along as fringe benefits. As we make an offering of our work, we find the truth of a principle Jesus taught: Fulfillment is not a goal to achieve, but always the by-product of sacrifice.”

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Colossians 3:23

God commands the aged women to teach the young women to be “good” in Titus 3:4. There’s only one way to be good, dear women, and that is to believe what God says about you, to “reckon” it to be true as Abraham reckoned that he was a father of many nations when he was an old man and had no children. “For what saith the scripture? Abraham believed God, and it was counted unto him for righteousness” (Romans 4:3). God wants us to believe what He says about us! Trying to be good without believing what God clearly says about you is simply religion instead of faith.

What does God say about us? For one thing, once we believe in Him, He calls us saints and not sinners (in Philippians 1:1 and every other place that the New Testament authors refer to those who believe in Jesus Christ.)

We are told that we are crucified with Christ in Galatians 2:20. (I encourage you to look up these verses, write them out, and believe them!)

We are buried with Christ in Romans 6:4.

We are raised with Christ in Colossians 3:1.

We are new creatures in Christ in 2 Corinthians 5:17.

We are seated in the heavenly places with Christ in Ephesians 2:6.

Our body is dead to sin in Romans 6:11.

We are alive unto God in Romans 6:11. (We are told multiple times in Romans 6 that we are dead and freed from sin.)

We are the righteousness of God in 2 Corinthians 5:21.

We are free to sin no more in Romans 6:18.

We are free from Satan in 1 John 2:13.

We are overcomers in Christ in 1 John 4:4.

We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us in Philippians 4:13.

Most Christians really don’t believe this about themselves so they go about trying to be good in their own strength. Why go about trying to be good in your own strength when it’s a lot easier to believe what God says about you and walk in the Spirit while the Spirit works in you mightily (Colossians 1:29)?

Believe what God says about you! Reckon it to be so and then live as a believer in Jesus Christ who daily chooses to walk in the Spirit! This is our new lives in Christ, women, and it is glorious. God came to set you free from sin. You can be good because He lives within you and He is good!

Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 6:11

***If you want to learn more about your new lives in Christ and what He accomplished on the cross for you, I encourage you to listen to Michael Pearl teach Romans 6-8. It is truly life transforming! (Make sure to have a pen and notebook to take notes! And no, he doesn’t teach “sinless perfectionism” as some have claimed. Before we are saved, we are “in the flesh” but once we are saved we are “in the Spirit.” We can choose to “walk in the flesh” but we are repeatedly told to walk in the Spirit. “But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you” – Romans 8:9)

There are women whose virginity was stolen from them through sexual abuse and no fault of their own. Some were offended by my viral post encouraging young women to be virgins until marriage. How are they to erase the pain and guilt they feel from this happening to them? Are they “no good” since they can’t be virgins on their honeymoon by no choice of their own? I want to make it clear that my post was directed to those women who actually have a choice in keeping or losing their virginity before marriage NOT to those who had theirs stolen. So please understand the huge difference, but here’s what I say to those women who didn’t get to choose to be virgins on their wedding night.

My encouragement to them would be to learn who they are in Christ. They are new creatures in Him; the old is gone (2 Corinthians 5:17) and God restores the years the locusts have eaten (Joel 2:25). They need to find their worth and value in Him since His love is unconditional and everlasting (Romans 8:31-39). Bitterness will destroy them (Hebrews 12:15) so they need to rid themselves of it. Those who violated them were walking in the flesh and being led by the prince of the power of the air, Satan. It is a spiritual battle being waged in the heavenlies (Ephesians 6:12) but greater is He who is in them than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4). They will be transformed by continually renewing their minds with truth (Romans 12:2). It doesn’t mean they won’t bear the scars of their abuse but they can find healing through Christ.

I asked the wise women in the chat room for their advice for these women and here are some of their responses. Some comments are from those who have experienced sexual abuse in their childhood.

Stacey: “I don’t know – I wish when I was really hurting after the abuse someone told me that childhood rape was not me giving away my virginity; that it was stolen and God knows the difference between childhood rape and willing sex. I wasn’t told this and another abusive woman in my life called me a slut at five years old. So I thought I was!

“Until I learned the difference which, unfortunately, wasn’t until a few years ago, I thought I was just too dirty and sexually deviant because I lured a family member at such a young age. To the women actively struggling with this, being raped and molested is not a choice but instead is a sin committed against you. While we are responsible for healing, the sex crime is not their fault and does not need atoning.

“Now it doesn’t bother me but a while ago those posts would have devastated me because Satan used that teaching to scare me from God. Sexual abuse of children is such a deep, awful evil that infects the poor child’s body, mind, and soul. Satan sure devastates children with it; we have to be vigilant in helping victims. At least, I wish people were vigilant in noticing me and helping me. Praise God, I found wonderful people who He brought in my life. I hope that helps! Sorry some are hurting by your post. Unfortunately, Satan wants that, I think. Praying he loses ground and these women find peace and the innocence God wants for them.”

Cassie: “As a person who has been abused at ten and raped at fourteen and eighteen, I took no offense to your post. Part of it is their victim mentality. [Those who were sexually abused were victims at the time but they don’t have to stay victims with a victim mentality their entire lives. This only hurts them.] Once you lose your victim mentality and that everyone should feel sorry for you and walk on eggshells about what they say, there is nothing to find offense against. I honestly do not think there is anything you can say to comfort those who want to remain a victim against this offense. But they do need to understand that you teach to those who give it away or have the opportunity to give it away and that you are called to speak that truth to help those make better choices.

“They also need to learn to find healing from Jesus Christ and Him alone and allow Him to lift them up and beyond the devastating effects of those abuses. Once they learn to leave the guilt where it belongs and that is with the offender and not them, they will begin to find more peace.”

Lindsay: “It is precisely because virginity is valuable that what was done to them is such a terrible wrong. Of course, it is not their fault if someone abused or raped them. It’s not a sin on their part. But it was a terrible sin what was done to them, not only because they were violated, but because it robbed them of their innocence that should have been theirs on their wedding night. Rape and abuse leave scars that can be hard to overcome.

“The ideal is virginity and innocence on the wedding night so that husband and wife can learn together without fear or past memory getting in the way, but they were robbed of that through the sins of others. They can certainly go on to have a wonderful married sex life anyway, but the scars are going to be there, and that is a tragedy. It doesn’t negate the experiences of these women to point out that virginity is a precious thing to be saved for marriage. It affirms that great wrong was done to them. It should also be pointed out that no one said that the only valuable thing about a woman is her virginity. What was said is that virginity should be saved for marriage.”

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

One reason given for women not teaching or having authority over men in the churches was that Eve was deceived (1 Timothy 2:14). I have been mentoring women for over 15 years. I have been writing for a blog for almost eight years. A troubling trend that I see among many women is that they tend to base their beliefs upon their experiences, emotions, and feelings instead of what is true. For instance, these are a few themes that women have commented to me on my blog or Facebook page.

“My husband physically abused me, therefore, women should not submit to their husbands and winning a husband without a word by godly behavior doesn’t work because it didn’t work for me.”

“My children turned out great and I worked outside of the home full time.”

“I was sexually assaulted in my past, therefore, all women who say they have been assaulted should be believed.”

“So-and-so (a famous woman preacher) brings many to the Lord so women should be able to preach.”

“This popular female blogger makes me feel so good about myself so she must be okay to learn from.”

All of these things I have heard over and over again to dispute what I write and what is truth. Many peoople wholeheartedly believe these statements to be true, regardless of whether they are or not.

If a husband physically abuses his wife, he is either a very troubled man or an evil man. Not one woman that I have mentored who has been physically abused by her husband has told me that their husband is evil. They all say their husband is very troubled and needs help. I encourage them to call the authorities if they are being physically abused and even separate for a time until he gets help. BUT this doesn’t make void God’s commands for wives to submit to their husband’s leadership and that women who are married to disobedient husbands are to win their husbands without the word by their godly behavior (1 Peter 3:1). God’s ways are “good, and acceptable, and perfect” (Romans 12:2) so we must trust and obey Him! There are TWELVE verses that clearly states a wife’s position under her husband. There’s no guessing game here.

Yes, some women can work outside of the home and their children turn out great but this doesn’t negate God’s command for younger women to be keepers at home. It doesn’t negate the studies that prove that children are more emotionally stable and secure who are raised full time by their mothers. It only takes common sense to understand that children need and want their mothers! Yes, it’s a sacrifice that mothers make to stay home but it is well worth the time, energy, and sacrifice, since there is NO greater joy than to have your children walk in truth (3 John 1:4). Satan’s goal is to kill, steal, and destroy. He loves to steal children away from the Lord. This is why mothers need to be home with their children full time to not only raise them up in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord but to protect them from the schemes of the evil one and from the wicked culture that we live in. “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:14).

Some women have and will always be sexually assaulted by men. Some have even been sexually molested by their own fathers and it’s tragic. BUT this doesn’t mean that every single woman that claims sexual assault is being truthful. The facts must be studied and proven whether they are true or not. Yes, some women lie for their own gain. Yes, all women aren’t truthful. In order to believe that women never lie, one must believe that women are sinless which they are not. “Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment” (John 7:24).

Just because there are women preachers who seem to be very successful doesn’t make what they are doing right. In fact, it’s not right. It’s against God’s clear command that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men. They are to be silent in the churches and if they have a question, they are to ask their husbands at home. No, there were NO women preachers in the Bible since it’s against God’s will for them. Live your lives by truth instead of what you may think is right. “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence” (1 Timothy 2:12).

There are many false teachers out there. Many of the “Christian” young female bloggers twist the word of God to make women “feel” good about themselves. The only truth that should make women feel good about themselves is understanding who they are in Christ, what He has done for them, all of their sins have been forgiven if they believe, and they will live eternally with Him. Our lives are to be lived as living sacrifices (Romans 12:1). There’s nothing in the word about “me time” and spending time on our pleasures. No, it’s about living a life that glorifies the Lord in all that we do. We are to also call out sin when it’s clearly against the word of God, not try to make others comfortable in their sin since sin is destructive, and living in obedience to God is what we are called to do. “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world”(1 John 4:1).

Don’t live your life by your experiences, what’s popular, what makes you feel good, or your emotions, dear women. Be in the word of God daily and renew your minds with truth. Ask the Lord for wisdom and He will freely give it to you. No longer be conformed to this world but be transformed by truth!

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:2

Written By Lindsay Harold with some revisions and additions by my husband, Ken.

Women are definitely made in the image of God even though we generally do not have the masculine traits with which God has revealed himself to us. We have a spirit that communes with God and the ability to reason and moral accountability – all of these are aspects of the image of God and separate mankind from the animals. If women were not made in the image of God, then we could not be saved and we would be mere animals. It is our spirit, our intellect, our ability to love and be love; the list is long in what makes us in the image of God.

Both men and women are made in the image of God, but men reflect the glory of God in a different way than women because men have a similar role to God’s role, which is protector, provider, and leader. Women where designed by God to have a role of mother, nurturer and care giver. Although the roles of men and women do overlap, it is clear from God’s design that men and women are quite different, yet both show aspects of who God is and what He desires from the family of God. God is going about the business of taking one man and one woman and joining them together with all their differences in marriage to most fully reflect His image and glory.

The Bible at times uses the term “man” to mean mankind as a whole – both male and female as “Adam” (Man) stands as the type for all men and women. There are several verses which show us that women are made in God’s image.

Genesis 1:27 God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created THEM.

Genesis 9:6 Whoever sheds man’s blood, By man his blood shall be shed, For in the image of God He made man.

Here, the word “man” means all of mankind. This verse would indicate that it is only wrong to kill men and not women if women are not created in the image of God also. It is the image of God that sets mankind apart from the animals and makes it a capital offense to kill a human, whether male or female.

Thus, when you have a verse like this one:
Exodus 21:29 “If, however, an ox was previously in the habit of goring and its owner has been warned, yet he does not confine it and it kills a man or a woman, the ox shall be stoned and its owner also shall be put to death.”

This is evidence that killing a woman (through negligence, in this case) bears the same penalty of death as killing a man because both men and women bear the image of God.

1 Corinthians 11:7 For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.

This verse is where the error occurred in thinking women do not bear the image of God. But it does not say here that woman is not made in the image of God. Rather it says that man is both in God’s image and designed to bring glory to God. Women are in God’s image, but designed to bring glory to man (especially their husbands). It is pointing out the one major way women differ from men, and it is not in lacking the image of God, but rather in what they bring glory to.

Romans 8:29-30 For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified.

Here we see that salvation is about being conformed to the image of Christ. This is drawing on the language of mankind’s creation in the image of God to say that we were created in God’s image, but the image was corrupted through sin, and now we must become conformed to the image of Christ to restore what we were meant to be. If women were not created in the image of God, then women cannot be saved because how can they become the image of Christ if they were never in the image of God?

I Corinthians 15 uses the analogy of Adam being the first man, created in the image of God, and Christ as the second Adam who came to redeem us. In verse 49, it tells us why this is important. “Just as we have borne the image of the earthy, we will also bear the image of the heavenly.”

Again, if women do not bear the image of God, then salvation does not apply to them. We must bear the image of God in the earthly sense, being human beings, before we can bear the heavenly image of Christ through salvation.

Even Jesus’ words make this case.

Matthew 22:19-21 Shew me the tribute money. And they brought unto him a penny. And he saith unto them, Whose is this image and superscription? They say unto him, Caesar’s. Then saith he unto them, Render therefore unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s; and unto God the things that are God’s.

Jesus’ point here is that while the coins of Rome bear the image of Caesar and should be given to Caesar when they are due, humans bear the image of God and thus belong to God. We should give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar, and to God what belongs to Him – i.e. that which bears His image, which is ourselves. Again, if women do not bear the image of God, then they cannot be saved.

Good theology is important, and while there are those who wrongly claim men and women are the same and have the same roles, it is also wrong to claim that women are not created in the image of God. We must distinguish between the image of God, which separates mankind from the animals and which makes women a suitable helper for their husbands because they share the same nature, and the different roles which God has ordained for men and women. Men have a role that is more similar to God’s role toward mankind and thus bring glory to God more directly while women have a role that is designed to bring glory to God more indirectly through bringing glory to their husbands. But both men and women share the image of God and are equally capable of bearing the image of Christ through salvation.

HERE is a good article by John Piper on this topic for further study!

There is a statement on social justice and the gospel being spread around and anyone who believes that it is true is encouraged to sign it. This is the basis of it: “WE AFFIRM that the Bible is God’s Word, breathed out by him. It is inerrant, infallible, and the final authority for determining what is true (what we must believe) and what is right (how we must live). All truth claims and ethical standards must be tested by God’s final Word, which is Scripture alone.”

I believe this with all of my heart, mind, and soul. I believe the word of God as written and don’t try to water it down or twist it to say something that I want it to say. I love the Lord and His word. I teach all that it has to say concerning biblical womanhood every day. I see way too many churches having women preach, women preachers/teachers teaching false doctrine, and “Christian” bloggers tickling their readers ears. This is an important document as we see the Church growing more and more lukewarm.

Here are two of my favorite things that this statement affirms. Please study it and sign it if you agree. We sure did!

Sexuality and Marriage

“WE AFFIRM that God created mankind male and female and that this divinely determined distinction is good, proper, and to be celebrated. Maleness and femaleness are biologically determined at conception and are not subject to change. The curse of sin results in sinful, disordered affections that manifest in some people as same-sex attraction. Salvation grants sanctifying power to renounce such dishonorable affections as sinful and to mortify them by the Spirit. We further affirm that God’s design for marriage is that one woman and one man live in a one-flesh, covenantal, sexual relationship until separated by death. Those who lack the desire or opportunity for marriage are called to serve God in singleness and chastity. This is as noble a calling as marriage.

“WE DENY that human sexuality is a socially constructed concept. We also deny that one’s sex can be fluid. We reject “gay Christian” as a legitimate biblical category. We further deny that any kind of partnership or union can properly be called marriage other than one man and one woman in lifelong covenant together. We further deny that people should be identified as “sexual minorities”—which serves as a cultural classification rather than one that honors the image-bearing character of human sexuality as created by God.

The Church

“WE AFFIRM that the primary role of the church is to worship God through the preaching of his word, teaching sound doctrine, observing baptism and the Lord’s Supper, refuting those who contradict, equipping the saints, and evangelizing the lost. We affirm that when the primacy of the gospel is maintained that this often has a positive effect on the culture in which various societal ills are mollified. We affirm that, under the lordship of Christ, we are to obey the governing authorities established by God and pray for civil leaders.

“WE DENY that political or social activism should be viewed as integral components of the gospel or primary to the mission of the church. Though believers can and should utilize all lawful means that God has providentially established to have some effect on the laws of a society, we deny that these activities are either evidence of saving faith or constitute a central part of the church’s mission given to her by Jesus Christ, her head. We deny that laws or regulations possess any inherent power to change sinful hearts.”

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12