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Desires and Passions Well Regulated

Desires and Passions Well Regulated

Young women’s desires and passions are not well regulated these days. Whatever they “feel” like doing, they do and they are  easily led by their emotions. I had one woman comment on Trey’s homemaking post and she wrote this, “I hate the man who wrote this. I do as I please.” I wrote back, “You act like a child. Were you not taught to not hate others you disagreed with? Were you not taught that the world doesn’t revolve around you and you can’t always do as you please?” She deleted her comment but this was her gut reaction to reading someone’s words she disagreed with.

Many places in the New Covenant, we are told to be sober which is the opposite of being ruled by our desires and passions as was this woman. It doesn’t just mean to be sober-minded (which I will come back to) but also to not be filled with alcohol. Older women are told to not be “given to much wine” and teach younger women to be “sober.”

Whether or not Christians should drink alcohol has been debated for hundreds of years so I am just going to give my opinion as I see from reading the Bible. Jesus was not against drinking wine since His first miracle was to change water into wine. Wine was also used to symbolize Christ’s blood during the Passover supper. However, we do have some guidelines in how we are to drink it.

Paul writes that we can drink A LITTLE for our stomach’s sake. Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake and thine often infirmities (1 Timothy 5:23). Older women are told to NOT DRINK MUCH wine. The aged women likewise, that [they be] in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things (Titus 2:3).

In describing elders in the church, the Bible states they are NOT to be given to wine (I Timothy 3:3) while deacons are not to be given to much wine (1 Timothy 3:8). Older men are commanded to be sober (Titus 2:2). In 1 Timothy 3:11, Paul commands wives to be sober. God intends for His people who are called by His name to be sober in everything!

From Barnes’ Notes commentary, we learn that “sober” means “instruct them to have their desires and passions well regulated, or under proper control.” This includes all desires and passions. We should be known as women having self-control in word, deed, and actions, and doing what is according to godliness, not responding from our desires and passion.

The following question was asked to the women in the chat room and not one of them said they were offended by it since they are women who have soft, teachable hearts to the ways of the Lord and are sober-minded: “When I hear godly preachers/teacher exhort us to work hard, keep our home as neat as a pin, declutter, live simply within our means, be content, be thankful, obey our husband, don’t overeat, only drink a little or no alcohol, discipline our body towards godliness, spend time with our children, etc. it has always challenged and convicted me and I love it! So many women are offended by many of these things, however. Are you?”

Matthew Poole in his commentary wrote this about being sober: “Young women, especially conversing amongst heathens, are prone to be light and airy, and over frolicsome, following the heat of their youthful temper, and forming their converse after the manner of others; which is a behaviour, though it may suit their youth, yet if they be Christians it will not suit their profession, which calls to them for more gravity: speak to them that are aged to mind to be sober.”

Wow! We sure see this today, don’t we? Many women follow the heat of their youthful temper and have never learned to keep their passions and desires under control. The culture defines their behavior instead of godliness and the ways of the Lord. They have not left their childish ways behind. “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” (1 Corinthians 13:11).

 Mothers, do you know how much easier you make it for your children when you are careful and consistent in the discipline of your children? If you discipline and train them as children, they will most likely grow up to be disciplined adults who have control over their desires and passions and are sober in everything. This not only benefits their future family but culture, too.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.
Titus 2:4

A Foolish, Clamorous Woman

A Foolish, Clamorous Woman

There are many foolish women today. A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing (Proverbs 9:13). Foolish means “void of understanding or sound judgment; weak in intellect; unwise; silly; vain; acting without regard to the divine law and glory.” Universities don’t make women wise. They make them foolish; for the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God (1 Corinthians 3:19). What they learn in these places of “higher learning” is that there is no difference between men and women and they are steeped in the feminist agenda which is anti-God and anti-family. They teach them nothing that is good, honorable, pure, holy, or worthy.

I agree completely with what Matt Walsh wrote about college campuses.

God commands that parents raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Too many parents are careful about doing this while their children are young and then spend a ton of money on secular colleges and universities for their children to attend. Many children who go into these institutions with their faith intact come out without faith in God because “bad company corrupts good morals” as the Bible clearly states. Universities do everything they can to turn young women into foolish, clamorous, and simple women.

Clamorous means “speaking and repeating loud words; noisy; vociferous; loud; turbulent.” Most of Proverbs describes foolishness (feminism) compared to wisdom (feminine). Many of the early chapters of Proverbs are about harlots or “strange women” as they are called and then the ending chapter is the well-known Proverbs 31 woman who embodies wisdom. Who are the harlots of today?

“The picture of the harlot as the representative of the sensual life, the Folly between which and Wisdom the young man has to make his choice. ‘Simple,’ in the worst sense, as open to all forms of evil. ‘Knoweth nothing,’ ignorant with the ignorance which is willful and reckless.” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible).

We are to be wise in what is good and innocent to that which is evil. It seems the majority of women today are knowledgeable to all forms of evil and practice them: fornication, adultery, immodesty, indiscretion, drunkenness, and lewdness. They despise what is good and love what is evil. They are willful and reckless, refusing to see the long-term consequences of their sin and instead indulging their flesh in any way they please. They entice married men, break up families, and easily abort their babies. They are foolish through and through and are reaping the rotten fruit that they are sowing.

“She speaks loudly and over people. She demands her rights, gets easily angered, and demands to be heard. She does this in hopes that others will hear her and be ‘moved by her persuasions.'” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary) This reminds me of the Women’s March that many women attended last year and will again this year. They are demanding “their rights” as if they have none and the rights they are demanding are completely opposite of what God asks of them, namely to love and obey their husbands (until death do they part), love their children (by bearing and raising them), be discreet, sober, good, chaste, and keepers at home. No, most of those women marching hate God’s will for their lives.

God calls us to be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath (James 1:19) with meek and quiet spirits. If you call yourself a woman of God, learn the ways of godly womanhood and what the Lord requires of you. Stop being foolish, clamorous, and simple and know the Word. God is very clear what His role for women is and it’s very good.

“You can make your greatest contribution to your family as the heart of your home. From you, your children should learn to love others and to give of themselves unstintingly in the spirit of sacrifice. Never underestimate the importance of your role. For upon you depends the emotional growth of your children, and such growth will better prepare them to live happy and holy lives than any amount of intellectual training they may receive.” (George A. Kelly)

How Wise Women Build Up Their Homes

How Wise Women Build Up Their Homes

It’s interesting to note that God doesn’t tell us that men can build up or tear down their homes. No, it’s women who have this type of power and unfortunately, many are tearing their homes down with their own hands thinking the grass is greener somewhere else but finding that it was all a lie. It’s vitally important that we build our homes up, women, not just for our sake but for our children’s and grandchildren’s sake. You want to pass blessings down to the next generation, not curses.

I asked the women in the chat room for ideas on how to build our homes up and here are some that they came up with:

“Number one for building a stable home is building up our husbands. The marriage needs to be strong to support the family.”

Divorce is the number one cause of tearing homes down. It burns the home down to the ground and leaves everyone scarred for life. The best gift a mother can give her children is loving their daddy deeply and until death does she part. This will have the greatest long-term impact for good upon her children besides being a testimony to a watching world of the beauty of marriage as it exemplifies Christ and His Church.

“Keeping the Lord as number one priority, submitting to our husbands out of reverence for the Lord, adhering to Proverbs 31 as much as possible in the attitudes of homemaking, marriage, and parenting.”

The Lord should absolutely be the One whom we serve and obey. He commands that we love and serve our husbands, so by doing this, we are certainly building our homes up.

“Building up our husbands, disciplining our kids, educating our kids in God’s ways, and the basics of cleaning, organizing, cooking, loving, and laughing.”

This perfectly describes our job description and it is gloriously ordained by God. When women with soft and teachable hearts understand that they belong at home, they are so happy because they know it’s exactly where they are supposed to be. Also, laughter always add joy to a home and we should be known for our warmth and hospitality.

 “I’ve done a lot of praying!…Prayer is foundational. Loving in word and deed. Grace and forgiveness freely given.”

We must daily pray for our husband and children and that the Lord would give us wisdom and grace needed for each day. I still and will always pray daily for my family. I ask the Lord to help them grow in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord and that they will hate what is evil and cleave to what is good. Then I pray that they are all hiding His Word deeply in their hearts. We have a God who hears our prayers and we are blessed!

“It reminds me of being encouraging and positive! Sets the tone for the household…Edification! Every one needs edification.”

Our words build up or destroy, give life or death. Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof (Proverbs 18:21). If you have a problem with your tongue, begin memorizing verses about the tongue and using it for good; for this is what transforms us! Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers (Ephesians 4:29). And never, ever speak evil about your husband to others.

“A joyful spirit and trusting in the Lord always. I have to say though I struggle in this area more than I care to admit.”

The only way we can have a joyful spirit and trust the Lord is to sit daily at His feet and learn from Him. He commands that we be choose to be joyful. Yes, it’s a choice and so is trusting the Lord. Serve the LORD with gladness: come before his presence with singing (Psalm 110:2). Sing praises often in your home. I sing to my grandchildren. He created and is in control of everything so we can trust Him. King Jesus reigns!

“Allowing my husband to take his place as leader of the home. Prayers. Obedience. Submit myself to the Lord and to my husband.”

Our husbands are head over us and we must not try to take the lead away from them through manipulation, whining, complaining, arguing, or correcting. Let them lead! Instead of trying to tell them how to lead, tell the Lord instead. Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you (1 Peter 5:7).

“Taking care of the home and children. Help my husband wherever I can to make things easier for him.”

We must be willing to help our husbands wherever they have a need. We falsely believe that they were created to be our help meet but they weren’t. Yes, they were created to protect and provide for us, which are heavy burdens they must bear, but we were the ones specifically created to help them.

“Cultivating our own special relationship with the Lord, would be number one to me. Then making sure we respect, submit, and love our husbands. Then to teach our children God’s ways and wisdom and displaying this in our own lives for our children to follow. After that, I would say keeping our homes as a safe, peaceful sanctuary from the world.”

Keeper at home means “stayers at home” (Are you a stayer at home?) and “guardians of the house.” We are to stand guard and protect the home from evil influences. This is our job and this is why we must be home full time. Everything runs more smoothly when a mother is at home and it gives children great security knowing their mother is available to them whenever they need her. Even neighborhoods are safer when mothers are at home.

“Building up with words of life. Encouraging words, speaking the word, and speaking the truth. I’ve seen major amazing behavior changes in my children since I started watching my words and shutting my mouth from uttering anything negative…Truth preserver: My ten year old daughter and I were in the local grocery store and came upon a t-shirt that said mom = boss . She said, ‘Look, mom.’ I said, ‘Nope, dads are the boss!'”

Continually speak the truth in love to your children. They will hear lies out in the world constantly so they must be rich in truth and have God’s Word hidden deeply in their hearts. (My grandchildren love the Berenstain Bears so I read it to them frequently but whenever Mama Bear bosses Papa Bear around or scolds him, I tell them that this is wrong and they say, “Yes, that’s wrong!”)

“Being in the Word, prayer, joyfully serving our families, and doing chores even. But something I realized was that we need to be PRESENT.”

Yes, be present, not distracted by the computer, TV, or iPhone. Your children grow up so quickly and they need to know that they are more important than some inanimate object. They will grow up and be gone and then you’ll be left with your iPhone. Use your time wisely because it is fleeting.

“Not being easily offended.”

Along with not being angry, bitter, having false expectations, being prideful, and easily offended. All of these will quickly tear down your home. Our husbands can correct us and we should take it patiently without getting offended. When we get offended easily, we are saying that we are right and they are wrong. It’s a pride issue that we must let go of and take criticisms easily since we aren’t perfect and we want to be like Jesus. Our husbands see our faults! Accept their corrections so you can better build your home up.

Building up your home is far more important than any job or money will ever be. For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? (Mark 8:36)

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1

*The picture is from my newly painted kitchen!

Finding Emotional Freedom

Finding Emotional Freedom

Do you want to be free? Do you want to be in control of your emotions and not have them control you? Do you want them to be your friend and not be afraid of them? Do you, as a Christian, want your emotions to enhance your spiritual life rather than work against it? You can only do this if you rise up and take control of your thoughts. The ‘stream’ of your thoughts will be the most important factor in influencing how you feel. If you can keep firm control of your thoughts, you will not be subjected to extremes of emotional buffeting. If you watch, control, and alter your thoughts by patient practice and trace their effects upon you and others, you can move yourself to the place of emotional freedom” (Dr. Archibald Hart “Unlocking the Mystery of Your Emotions”).

Years ago, Ken and I went to our church to hear Archibald Hart give a conference about what he had learned in his many years of being the Dean of the Graduate School of Psychology and Professor of Psychology at Fuller Theological Seminary. The greatest battle the self must wage is against the emotions…” He believes that emotions are God’s gift to us if we use them properly and have control over them, but not so much control that we are void of emotions and not too little control that they control us. Even God agrees with this: “Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).

Yes, we can cry at sad movies, grieve with those who grieve, mourn with those who mourn, and laugh with those who laugh. These are all good emotions when held in control and not allowed to become excessive and/or destructive. Even being angry at sin and the Devil is good but we must not allow this anger to control us and become an idol in our lives. “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” (Ephesians 4:26).

How do we accomplish this? By taking every thought to the obedience of Christ and being transformed by the renewing of our minds with truth (Romans 12:2). If you have trouble with this, I encourage you to buy Dr. Hart’s book and learn from the many years of experience he has had in teaching and counseling others. I do remember him clearly saying that 40 years ago when he began his practice, it was usually around the age of 40 that people began experiencing depression, whereas nowadays, it’s teenagers! Something tragic is going on and we must be prepared for the fight.

Teach your children how to have right thinking. If you see that their thinking is bad (behavior and emotions come from thoughts), teach them how to make it good and right by renewing it with truth.

“Everyone hates me.” “No, we love you and so does the Lord.”

“I’m so ugly.” “No, God, the Creator of everything, created you unique and special for His purposes.”

“I’m having such a bad day.” “No, this is the day the Lord hath made, let us rejoice and be glad in it!”

Respond to every bad thought you or your children have with truth from God’s Word just as Jesus did with Satan when He was being tempted in the wilderness. You don’t have to be led my your emotions and feelings. Learn to be led by truth instead! It’s a much happier and enjoyable way to live. Find a godly, older women who you can go to when you know that you are having wrong thoughts so she can help renew your mind with truth during those times that you seem to be unable to do so.

 Attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings. Let them not depart from thine eyes; keep them in the midst of thine heart. For they are life unto those that find them, and health to all their flesh.
Proverbs 4:20-22

Preaching a Sermon Without Words

Preaching a Sermon Without Words

“There are so few older, wiser women online and even fewer to be found where I live. I grew up in a very 50s like small town in Alabama where everyone knew everyone. The wives and mothers stayed home while their husbands worked. My own mother worked outside of the home so my sister and I were mostly raised by my grandmother. I watched that dear lady all throughout my childhood. She would wake up ‘in the dark’, as we would say, fix breakfast for me, my sister, my two cousins and my grandfather every morning. She would take us to school, pick us up from school, take care of us all afternoon, and then cooked supper for my whole family: my parents, my aunt, my two cousins (and whoever they would bring home), my grandfather, my sister, and me.

She cooked and cleaned all morning and crocheted in the afternoons. I would sit next to her in her chair as she crocheted blankets for all of us. I learned more about Christianity from her than any sermon I’ve heard and the thing is, she never said a word about it. She didn’t even speak that often, she just did. Her life was a giving life. She gave herself to us every day. I am so blessed to have had her set the example for me to follow. And I do follow. I am a stay at home wife and mother. I homeschool my children. I cook and clean and do laundry. It is wonderful.”

This is a comment by a young woman named Emily who wrote me. Other women have asked her to begin a blog and teach women what she knows since she is a wise young woman but she is only thirty seven and doesn’t believe younger women should be mentoring other women since the Lord has given this ministry to older women who have raised children and been married a long time, plus they have the time to do it. Unfortunately, there aren’t many godly, older women who are willing to take on this role. Thankfully, Emily’s grandmother took her mother’s place and trained her in godly womanhood by the way she lived her life but few are blessed with a role model in their lives like this and this is the reason for Titus 2:4, 5.

If you had a mother or grandmother in your life who was an example to you of godly womanhood, you are blessed! It’s not common in today’s feminist culture but I doubt it has ever been common since Eve decided to go over her head (Adam) and choose her own way believing that her way is better than God’s ways.

 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4, 5

How are Women the “Weaker Vessel”?

How are Women the “Weaker Vessel”?

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Peter 3:7

“I heard a sermon by this pastor in which he discusses the original Greek text found in 1 Peter 3:7. He explains that the concept of female ‘weakness’ that Peter talks of is not some innate, biological lack of strength. Rather, it is a role of gentle submission that Christian women choose to adopt because they recognize that there cannot be two alpha leaders in a successful partnership. The ability to embrace this kind of ‘weakness’ demonstrates great strength of mind and spirit and speaks volumes about Christian women’s insight and character,” wrote a woman on Matt Walsh’s post about marriage.

 This sounds like a beautiful description of what a weaker vessel means but is it true? Do most Christian women “choose to adopt” the role of gentle submission? Do they readily recognize that there can’t be two alpha leaders in a marriage? (Is marriage ever referred to as a “successful partnership” in the Word?) Yes, choosing to live in submission demonstrates great strength of mind and spirit but does this have anything to do with women being a weaker vessel and not to “some innate, biological lack of strength” as this woman claims? I believe women being the “weaker vessel” is exactly what it states. Women are absolutely weaker physically than men.

Let’s check out what the commentaries of old have to say. Did they believe the “weaker vessel” means that women desire to have a gentle, submissive spirit naturally or does it mean something else?

 “The thing which the husband is specially to understand and take into account is that he is dealing with a thing less strong than himself. The whole of chivalry is in these words, and St. Peter (next after Christ) may be considered the founder of it…The weakness here ascribed to the female sex is primarily that of the body, as we shall see when we consider the word ‘vessel,’ though it may, perhaps, indicate frailty in other respects as well. If the word ‘vessel’ is to be here a description of a ‘wife,’ as some contend on 1 Thessalonians 4:4, in a sense in which it does not equally describe a husband, it is difficult to see with what the vessel is compared and pronounced weaker. ‘Dwell with the female as with a more delicate vessel or instrument’ than what? If we answer ‘than yourselves,’ it becomes clear that the husbands are, by implication, less delicate vessels.” (Ellicot’s Commentary)

Yes, men are absolutely less delicate vessels than women. Men are taller and bigger than women in general. This is why there are separate male and female sports. This is why men are the ones who build everything like skyscrapers, freeways, bridges, and houses and are the electricians, plumbers, and mechanics. For people to not admit this is being ignorant of what is plainly obvious.

“Here ‘the weaker’; being so for the most part, both as to strength of body, and endowments of mind; and therefore to be used gently and tenderly, and not be treated with neglect and contempt, or with inhumanity and severity; but as, in every state and condition, the strong are to bear the infirmities of the weak; so a man should bear with, and accommodate himself to the infirmities of his wife, and hide them as much as he can, and not expose them, nor despise her on account of them.” (Gill’s Exposition)

Here again, we have a commentary explaining that the “weaker vessel” does indeed refer to her “innate, biological lack of strength.” In past generations, I am sure everyone knew that this meant that women were weaker physically than men. It’s easily seen all over the place, yet in today’s feminized culture, they have changed it to mean something that it is not. NO, most Christian women do not adopt the role of the gentle submission to their husbands willingly. This is foreign and repulsive to them since most desire to control their husbands!

“By this it is not necessarily meant that she is of feebler capacity, or inferior mental endowments, but that she is more tender and delicate; more subject to infirmities and weaknesses; less capable of enduring fatigue and toil; less adapted to the rough and stormy scenes of life. As such, she should be regarded and treated with special kindness and attention. This is a reason, the force of which all can see and appreciate. So we feel toward a sister; so we feel toward a beloved child, if he is of feeble frame and delicate constitution; and so every man should feel in relation to his wife. She may have mental endowments equal to his own; she may have moral qualities in every way superior to his; but the God of nature has made her with a more delicate frame, a more fragile structure, and with a body subject to many infirmities to which the more hardy frame of man is a stranger.” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible)

In the Bible, only those men who were 21 years and older were sent off to war. Men are the ones who were created by God to be the protectors of society, not women. Women in general tire much more easily than men and they are simply not as tough physically as men due to muscle mass and women are not as tough emotionally. Here is a secular article that lists all of the ways men differ from women. Some of them are:

Men and women don’t see in the same way (their retinas are different),

Female babies like faces, male babies like moving objects (there’s a difference in babies!),

Females can verbally express their emotions better than males (duh),

Boys naturally use movement to think (this is why sitting in chairs all day long in school is HORRIBLE for boys),

Boys are more likely to take risks (this is why they were specifically created to be the protectors of societies),

Females are easier to startle (yep!),

Males are more likely to die from an accident than females (yes, because they are the risk takers),

Males are more likely to exhibit aggression physically while females are more likely to exhibit aggression verbally (completely correct!),

Men are easier to sexually arouse than women (really?),

Men are more motivated by sex than women (this is why women withhold sex against men in punishment), and

Men pursue, women are pursued (just the way it’s supposed to be).

Even in the animal kingdom, males are bigger and stronger than the females. God made men with ten times the testosterone for a reason and He made women with progesterone and estrogen to have and nurture children. We are different. No, we’re not equal (in value and worth, yes, but not in anything else) and it’s perfect since God’s ways are perfect. Let the men fight the wars, fires, and bad guys. I liked it a lot more when it was only men in these roles because it is their God-ordained roles, not women’s.

So all the numbered men of the sons of Israel by their fathers’ households, from twenty years old and upward, whoever was able to go out to war in Israel.
Numbers 1:45

What is a Feminine Woman?

What is a Feminine Woman?

Written By Henry Makow Ph.D.

A feminine woman is motivated by love of husband and children. She is the heart of the family, devoted to her husband and children’s well being. This is her career. A woman who is preoccupied with another demanding career cannot pay attention to her family. Love is mainly paying attention. There is a New Yorker cartoon where a child is wearing a welder’s mask and using a blowtorch to write, “I need love” on the living room wall. His mother says to her friend: “He’s just doing that to get attention.”

Career is a feminist lie. Since when are careers the source of human fulfillment? What is so great about being an Assistant Loan Manager at a bank? Is society expected to provide legions of eager feminists with “fulfilling” careers to compensate for their loveless lives?

Feminists are teaching women to be “strong and independent.” This is not feminine. Men respond to a woman’s need. We want to rescue the damsel in distress and to win her favors. This archetype is also innate in women. She wants to be enlisted by a man.

A feminine woman DEPENDS on a man. This doesn’t mean she is an emotional waif. She is competent but she doesn’t pretend to be independent. Men and women need each other to be whole. As long as I have my wife, I am self-sufficient. So is she.

Just as the woman is the heart of the family, the man is the head and shoulders. A feminine woman is her husband’s partner (I would change it to “help meet”). They make decisions together but he has the last word (I would add that the wife lives in submission to her husband’s leadership). Men must be the visionaries, captains and navigators. A woman’s most important decision is the man she chooses to love and marry.

A feminine woman is modest. She wants a man to pay attention to “her” so she doesn’t flaunt her sexuality. A woman wants to be loved more than anything in the world. She wants to be “known” in all her divinity. This happens when she is truly loved. Is it a coincidence the Bible uses the word “know” as in Abraham “knew” Sarah, to speak of sexual intercourse? All women are beautiful when they are loved. Women’s liberation has taught women to pursue sex for its own sake, as though they were men. This is not feminine. If a man prefers a new car, why would he marry a “used” woman? He doesn’t want a car that’s been driven by a lot of men. He doesn’t know where it’s been, what damage has been done. He will choose a brand new car. In my wife’s words: “A man wants to be a woman’s first lover; a woman wants to be his last.”

If men chose wives with the same attention as cars, more marriages would succeed. Women are the vehicles to the future, in terms of emotional fulfillment and family. If men knew where they wanted to go, they would choose women who would get them there. They would not be blinded by sex.

A feminine woman tries to please the man she loves. No, this has not been outlawed, it just seems that way. A feminine woman generates love by giving love. She empowers her man by believing in him. Love is expressed in actions and effort. Baking a pie is an act of love. So is making the home beautiful. Are we so blind, impoverished and demoralized that we cannot appreciate this? Why have we allowed feminists to stigmatize homemaking? Women would be more than happy to be homemakers if it received the recognition and appreciation that it deserves.

A feminine woman has grace, beauty and wisdom. These all come from staying in touch with her spirit and not pursuing an exhausting career that requires masculine qualities.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12

*picture by Daniel Gerhartz

**I don’t know anything about this author, if he is a Christian or not, and I did add and delete a few things that I disagreed with but overall, I believe he wrote a lot of truth that we can learn from!

Do God’s Roles for Women Offend You?

Do God’s Roles for Women Offend You?

Why are so many women offended by the Lord’s will for them? Why are they offended with the concept of submission and the husband being the head over the wife? Why are they offended because women must be silent in the church and not teach nor be in authority over men? Why are they offended that God calls younger women to be keepers at home and doesn’t call them to careers and fulfilling their dream? Why is there so much hatred directed towards those who teach these truths to women?

These women must see that most marriages are not good today. Seventy five percent of divorces are initiated by women. They must see this as a bad thing. They see the children of divorce suffering from not living under the same roof with their mother and father but being shuffled from house to house. They see wives who are manipulative and controlling towards their husbands and must think it looks ugly. They see women who are exhausted from trying to hold down a career along with a family and keeping a home. They have to see the ugly fruit from doing things opposed to God’s plan for women, yet they don’t seem to be able to connect the dots.

I asked the women in the chat room if they have ever been offended by any of God’s instructions to women because I know I never have. He created us and knows what’s best for us. No, I didn’t always live them out perfectly, but I know they are perfect. Most of the women in the chat room have never been offended by them either. They also love the Lord and His ways. Some of them didn’t know or understand godly womanhood but since they’ve come to understand and apply it to their lives, they see a huge difference in their marriage and in their lives!

Terri answered, “No, not offended at all. It made (makes) me feel protected and some sort of relief that all the pressure of leadership is put on the man, not woman.”

Nakkitta wrote, “Nope! It’s completely aligned with how I wanted to be anyway! It’s a hard transition, because I was raised with women who were ALWAYS in charge and the men who were submissive, quiet, and didn’t get in the way.”

Morgan replied, “No, it was life and freedom from what I had thought and seen life as a woman was supposed to be. I’m so grateful. People often think this way (God’s way) of life is bondage and I’ve had ladies ‘reach out to me’ to try to ‘help me’ see cultural truths that they assume, as I once did, to be biblical.”

Kareena wrote, “I felt relief. Being surrounded by feminist, I always felt something didn’t sit right. When I discovered the Word and my true role I felt at ease, protected, and grateful. I am now happier and my marriage is better. At the start, I did get questioned with ‘You’re a strong confident women; how can you put up with that?’ I am stronger, more confident and more at ease in my role now.”

Judy answered, “Not really. I am very thankful to have the honor and privilege to carry, birth, nurse, nurture full-time, and be the one that our children are the most attached to. I figure that my husband should get a few benefits as well, even though they don’t compare to mine!”

Deb responded, “Oh yeah! lol but it didn’t take long for God to touch my heart and show me His way is the only way! I was raised by a feminist and my dad raised me more like a boy than a girl….. It was hard to grasp at first. I had to ‘learn’ how to be more feminine, as sad as it sounds it was embarrassing at first to act or feel like a lady. I make sure to raise my daughters to be very feminine and embrace being a female!”

How about you? If you are a believer in Jesus Christ, do His ways offend you? If so, you need to examine yourself to make sure you are in the faith.

And blessed is he, whosoever shall not be offended in me.
Matthew 11:6

*picture by Daniel Gerhartz

Younger Women Need More Than Sermons

Younger Women Need More Than Sermons

Younger women are listening to a lot of sermons by women preachers/teachers these days. Unfortunately, most of these women preachers/teachers aren’t teaching younger women what they need to learn. God is clear in His Word what older women are to teach younger women. They desperately need to be learning to submit to their husbands, how to properly discipline their children, to be sober, discreet, modest, chaste, good, and keepers at home since many younger women who claim to be Christians don’t look or act any differently than worldly women.

What does “teach” mean in this verse Titus 2:2, “that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,…”? How involved in the younger women’s lives should the older women be?

Elliott’s Commentary stated that the word teach called not only for more practical and homely, but also for more individual exhortations. So here this special work was left for the elder women among the faithful to carry out. Such a reformation, not only in the discipline of the Church, but also in the individual life and conversation, as St. Paul desired to see in Crete, would never be brought about by a sermon, or even by many sermons, however eloquent and earnest, from Titus. It would be a matter requiring long time and patience, and would, as observed above, rather follow as the result of patient individual effort and holy example.”

Do you notice the word exhortations? Exhort means to “to advise, to warn, and to caution.” Most young women don’t want to be advised about anything unless they ask but this isn’t biblical. As godly young women, they should want to learn and be exhorted by the older women who have wisdom and experience.

The Apostle Paul didn’t believe that sermons about this topic would be enough for the young women just as sermons to children about being godly children aren’t enough. It would make it a lot easier for us older women if the younger women were hearing a few sermons from the pulpits (male preachers) about their role in life, however! As children need to be trained consistently in the ways of godliness, so do younger women by older women. They need to see older women in action loving and serving their husbands and children, and working hard at home since most are not given any example of this as they are growing up with so many being raised by strangers as their mothers go off to work each day.

I write a post almost every day. My aim is to exhort younger women daily in the ways of godly womanhood. I do what I can to answer emails and private messages to me about individual circumstances and give individual instruction. I encourage women to keep their homes clean and tidy, fix nourishing meals for their families, discipline and train their children, and be submissive and godly help meets to their husbands but it’s far better if the older women of all  the churches around the world took up the task of teaching the younger women. Nothing can compare to a real-life example. Once in a while, I am blessed to watch a godly, submissive woman with her husband and it teaches and encourages me to be likewise. I am always learning and watching because I desire to obey the Lord in everything.

Jamieson-Fausset Brown Commentary wrote this about the word ‘teach’: “It was judicious that Titus, a young man, should admonish the young women, not directly, but through the older women.” Admonish means to “to warn or notify of a fault; to counsel against wrong practices.” Do you know how difficult this is to carry out these day? Most young women don’t want to be warned about anything or counseled against wrong practices. Thankfully, I have my blog in which I do admonish women against various destructive habits and things they are learning from our culture.

I admonish them against peaceful parenting when parents don’t say “no” to their children or set any type of boundaries with them or discipline them in a biblical fashion. I admonish them about being angry and upset with their husbands. I spend a lot of time warning women about the destructiveness of feminism on their marriage and home life. I encourage women to be submissive to their husbands and keepers at home since I know that no one can take the place of a mother in a child’s life or a wife in a husband’s life.

As Annie McGuire wrote so beautifully on my Facebook page yesterday: “The Christian life is one of surrender, sacrifice, and submission; following in the footsteps of our Savior. Submission needs to be taught and modeled for women so they can see it in action. They also need to bathe it in prayer; asking for a humble heart and the grace they need to be a submissive wife regardless of their husband’s behavior. Abigail is a fantastic example of this in 1 Samuel 25! There’s blessings of peace, joy, and security in submission. We have to lay down our will and way, not as a doormat but as a partner in ministry, keeping rank, and following our husband’s lead.”

Then Candis P. wrote right underneath her comment, “Yes, yes, yes…wish I was around more like minded woman like you ladies. I need help. I need role models.”

Yes, older women need to step up to the plate and model and teach the younger women around them. Then the younger women need to be open to learning from the older women

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be yet wiser: teach a just man, and he will increase in learning.
Proverbs 9:9

Saved in Childbearing

Saved in Childbearing

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
1 Timothy 2:15

Does this verse mean that only women who have children will be saved or does it mean that all women will be saved because of the Christ’s birth or does it mean something different? Let’s see how the commentaries of old interpreted this verse which follows the verses that command women to “learn in silence with all subjection…not to teach nor usurp authority over the man but to be in silence for Adam was first formed…and Adam was not deceived…”

St. Paul, now anxious lest he had wounded with his severe words and stern precepts his Ephesian sisters in Christ, closes his charge to women with a few touching words, bright with the glorious promise they contained. Though their life duties must be different from those of men—yet for them, too, as for men, there was one glorious goal; but for them—the women of Christ—the only road to the goal was the faithful, true carrying out of the quiet home duties he had just sketched out for them. In other words, women will win the great salvation; but if they would win it, they must fulfill their destiny; they must acquiesce in all the conditions of a woman’s life—in the forefront of which St. Paul places the all-important functions and duties of a mother” (Ellicot’s Commentary).

Yes, women, our “life duties must be different from those of men” contrary to popular opinion today.  The “quiet home duties” is exactly where the Lord wants our work to be done. This is the “destiny” the Lord has called us to and it’s a good one! Of course, we know that salvation only comes by believing in Jesus Christ and not in anything we do but once we believe, He does require us to walk in obedience to what He has called us to do. This is where we will be the most effective for His Kingdom!

 No, it doesn’t mean that we will ever be perfect but we no longer live lifestyles of sin and rebellion. When we are convicted of something, we do everything we can with Christ’s power working mightily within us to repent (turn from) the sin. Awake to righteousness, and sin not (1 Corinthians 15:34).

“The apostle means to show this – that in all her pain and sorrow; amidst all the evidence of apostasy, and all that reminds her that she was ‘first’ in the transgression, she may look up to God as her Friend and strength, and may hope for acceptance and salvation… The object of the apostle evidently is, to show that woman must continue in the faithful service of God if she would be saved – a doctrine everywhere insisted on in the New Testament in reference to all persons. She must not imitate the example of the mother of mankind, but she must faithfully yield obedience to the laws of God until death” (Barnes’ Notes).

The “mother of mankind” rebelled against her role as help meet and being under the authority of the Lord. We are instructed to not do the same but instead, obey what God has commanded for us to do. In Hebrews, we are warned that we must believe until the end. Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God (Hebrews 3:12). In 1 John, we are commanded to obey the Lord. And he that keepeth His commandments dwelleth in Him and He in him (1 John 3:24).

“Moreover, I think it is implied indirectly that the very curse will be turned into a condition favorable to her salvation, by her faithfully performing her part in doing and suffering what God has assigned to her, namely, child-bearing and home duties, her sphere, as distinguished from public teaching, which is not hers, but man’s (1 Timothy 2:11, 12). In this home sphere, not ordinarily in one of active duty for advancing the kingdom of God, which contradicts the position assigned to her by God, she will be saved on the same terms as all others, namely, by living faith” (Jamieson-Fausset-Brown).

The way we live our lives prove our faith. “Child-bearing and home duties” are the sphere of women’s work. As C.S. Lewis wrote, “The homemaker has the ultimate career. All other careers exist for one purpose only – and that is to support the ultimate career.” Yes, by far the majority of Christian women will marry and bear children but then women naturally ask about those who don’t marry or can’t have children.

Does this give them the green light to go to college and get a career? I don’t know. Most colleges and universities are godless institutions that teach worldly wisdom which is something we are warned to avoid in the Bible; for bad company corrupts good morals. This is going to have to be something they prayerfully consider, especially since they may get married some day. They don’t want their career and debt to interfere with their potential future marriage, bearing children, and home duties.

Now, remember, these verses and mandates are for Christian women, not secular ones. Women who don’t love the Lord can do whatever they want because they aren’t living to please the God who created them.

In the Bible, there were some women who worked from their homes. Lydia made purple material. The Proverbs 31 woman made sashes and girdles in her home. Priscilla was a tentmaker with her husband and most likely made them in their home. Rachel was a “shepherd” but I’m sure she was close to her home since she was still living with her father. There’s no mention of this being a “job” for Rachel but something she did to help the family until she got married but not ONE of them was submissive to a man that wasn’t their husband (a boss) nor did they leave their children in the care of strangers for hours every day.

I enjoy watching the Duggar show Counting On. The oldest daughter, Jana, is 27 years old and still living at home. I see her doing home and decorating projects, helping around the home and with the children, enjoying time with her siblings, going on missions trips, and all kinds of various things. I also watch Hallmark movies. All the women are career women and there is never a woman in the home with babies and caring for them. Jana’s life seems a lot closer to what the Lord would have single women doing rather than pursuing careers, in my opinion. She is waiting on the Lord’s timing to bring a man into her life. All of the older Duggar daughters stayed busy around the home before marriage, then married, and began having children, if they were blessed with them.

Some of Nancy Campbell’s and Debi Pearl’s daughters have businesses out of their homes. I know women who sell makeup, nutritional products, cleaning products, hair accessories, clothing, and other things from their homes so they can still be home with their children and husbands. If women in the Bible could do it, so can you, if you need the extra income.

Being in the home and attending to it and to children is so much more feminine and what godly women were created to do! Even married women without children can find many things to do in and around the home to keep themselves busy instead of going to a job all day and working in submission to a boss. The Duggar women were never pushed to get higher education and find careers. Home is what God created women for physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

*Painting by Daniel Gerhartz