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Are You a Foolish or a Wise Woman?

Are You a Foolish or a Wise Woman?

In James 3:14-17, we are clearly shown what a foolish and wise woman looks like. Unfortunately, there are many foolish women in our world. They don’t know God nor do they want to worship Him. They want to be their own god, make up their own rules, and live life as they please. They will even twist scripture so they can do what they want instead of obey God.

“But if ye have bitter envying and strife in your hearts, glory not, and lie not against the truth. This wisdom descendeth not from above, but is earthly, sensual, devilish. For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.”

Foolish women have “bitter envying” as James refers to it. When I show a picture of my bathtub on Instagram, they will comment, “I sure can’t afford a bathtub like that!” There is a ton of bitter envying among women today. “They lust and have not.” This is why God commands that we be content with such things as we have. If you have bitter envying over someone else’s looks, weight, husband, home, health, or even their bathtub, you are a foolish woman.

Foolish women cause “strife.” They enjoy slandering others and causing contention among people. There is little peace in their homes. They tear down their homes with their own hands by insisting on being right and getting their own way. They refuse to live in submission to their husband’s leadership but instead, try to forcefully take control.

Foolish women are “earthly.” Earthly pertains to things of this earth and includes things that are vile and mean. They are of the worldly kingdom and not the heavenly kingdom so they only live for the here and now and what they can get for themselves. Their “glory is in their shame” (Philippians 3:19). They store their treasures on earth instead of in heaven. They are friends of the world and enemies of God. They dress and act in a way that pleases themselves, not the Lord.

Foolish women are “sensual.” They are “devoted to the gratification of sense; given to the indulgence of the appetites” according to the 1828 Webster Dictionary. They give into all of their appetites regardless of the harm they do to themselves and others. They dress sexy and turn other wives’ husbands on. They give into their gluttony, alcoholism, and fornication while think nothing of it.

Foolish women are devilish. “Partaking of the qualities of the devil; diabolical; very evil and mischievous; malicious.” They are not the kind of women you want to be around because they enjoy causing destruction. They are Satan’s agents and doing his work which is characteristic of Jezebel in the Bible.

Foolish women cause “confusion and every evil work.” Do you want to know why our culture is in such a mess? Foolish women have destroyed the family by not being content in the role that the Lord gave them but instead sought after men’s roles, thus destroying marriages and children. This has caused confusion on every level in our culture from the government down to the family. Children are being taught they can decide what sex they want to be! I am not sure what can be more confusing and evil than this.

Wise women are pure, peaceable, gentle, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and good fruits without partiality, without hypocrisy, and humble (James 3:17). “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies” (Proverbs 31:10). Wise women like this are rare indeed. They abstain from all appearance of evil. They rid their homes of it. They pursue peace with all men. They are gentle with people knowing that we all have struggles thus showers mercy and grace upon them.

They aren’t leaders or teachers in the churches. No, they are quiet and learn in all submission. They dress modestly and adorn themselves with good works and in submission to their husbands. They love bearing children and raising them, if they are able, while being keepers at home. They love their God-given role and are thankful to be a woman. They have no desire to compete with or be like men. They want to be feminine women who love their Lord and Savior by obeying Him and living for Him.

Who is a wise man and endued with knowledge among you? let him shew out of a good conversation his works with meekness of wisdom.
James 3:13

I Don’t Want to Be a Strong, Independent Black Woman

I Don’t Want to Be a Strong, Independent Black Woman

A guest post by Stacie Cherill Dickson. May you be blessed. I know I sure was!

I want to be strong, but in the counterculture way of having a meek and quiet spirit. The world tells us that a ‘good’ Black women is one who essentially acts like a man and I am taking a stand against that lie! How can we expect have strong marriage and be a wife if we aren’t even acting like a woman! If we, as Black women, started acting more like Meghan Markle and Kate Middleton instead of Beyonce and Nicki Minaj, we would truly be treated as the royalty we really are and not settle for cheap counterfeits.

As a 24 year old black female, Mrs. Lori Alexander’s blog has been such an oasis of hope to me. I thrive from reading her marriage posts. I’ve studied her book like it was my homework, and I pretty much digested all of her first blog, Always Learning. I also have a journal full of notes I have taken while reading The Transformed Wife. But I have to admit, sometimes reading her blog feels like a guilty pleasure, or like I’m doing something wrong. Why do I feel this way? Well, God used Lori’s ministry to fuel my dream. A dream I never knew I had but a dream I sometimes feel embarrassed to have since the world would tell me black girls can’t have that dream.

What dream is that? To be a housewife! (cue thunder sounds, screams and dun dun dun dramatic sound effect lol) Let me share more of my story to explain.

I have always been an overachiever and I thank God for every opportunity I have had. I was a popular cheerleader who was a leader in her high school. I attended my dream university, The University of Texas at Austin, on over $60,000 worth of academic scholarships. I’ve studied abroad for a summer in Hong Kong at 19 years old. I was a star in a play at UT (acting was my passion). I graduated with a Bachelor’s degree in Radio-Television-Film in three years at 21. I’ve done mission work in Argentina and Honduras and I was part of a feature documentary film. All these things the world and other Christians praised me for.

I am so grateful for all these opportunities and I praise Jesus for them but after I graduated I knew the Holy Spirit was telling me to live back at home with my parents and serve them. I was so embarrassed to move back home! What would people think of me? I’m suppose to be in Hollywood writing movies! I graduated from one of the top universities in the world; people would think I’m a failure. Even though these thoughts came to my mind I’m so glad I yielded to Jesus. It’s been over three years since I’ve started this journey with Jesus preparing me to be a wife and it has been glorious.

I’ve been able to serve my parent’s church. I’ve used my writing skills to start a blog (www.staciecherill.com). I have a Youtube Channel (Stacie Cherill Dickson). I’ve had the opportunity to serve my mother who was sick and be with her at every doctor’s appointment. I was able to go to Hawaii with my grandmother who I adored with all my heart and who unexpectedly got diagnosed with stage four cancer February of this year and died this April.

With all my heart, I’m so grateful to Jesus I didn’t listen to the world and go chase money because I had the privilege to drive my grandmother to the grocery store, help her run errands, take her to the doctor, and love on her. Most of all, I was able to be with her during her last days of hospice care and always tell her how much I love her. God knew she was about to die even when I didn’t. I also got to feed the homeless with my mother at the park and my boyfriend and I have a love that is so pure and sweet because I’ve learned to treat him with the respect he deserves and, in turn, he showers me with love. I thank God I entered the graduate course of “How to be a Wife 101.”

When I started to dream small, others thought I was a failure, but I was making a world of change in the lives of my family members. I wanted to attend graduate school at UCLA, but God had other plans for me. I had no idea about respect and submission but I thank God that I have learned these principles these past three years.

It makes no sense to me that we can train for a job or go to college for years to prepare for a career, but we think we, as women, don’t need godly training on to how to be a wife. Would you trust a doctor who never went to medical school? Would you fly on a plane with a pilot who never attended aviation school? So it makes sense that we have so many wives crashing and burning in their marriages because they don’t even know their God-given role. I am so glad God has been training me. I will be able to avoid so many pitfalls just because of the knowledge of have. “My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge” (Hosea 4:6).

We often wonder why divorce is rampant and marriage seems like a sham, especially Christian marriages. Satan comes to women first to get to the man (the snake went to Eve first) so if women get in line with God’s plan, marriage would be revived. My role models used to be Victoria Secret models and Britney Spears, but now it is women like Lori Alexander and my mother. Talk about a “transformed mind”!

My dream now is to be a stay-at-home wife and mom. I love that idea! But I know many people think I “threw my life away!” especially as a young black girl. A lot of people want me to make a lot of money and be famous. I’ve even had a lot of backlash from extended family. But I can respond with confidence and love now because I know they just don’t have the right teaching. I am not throwing my life away–I’m giving it to God! When I lost my life, I found it!

So many Black women know nothing about being submissive, pure, meek, gentle or kind because we are taught by society and even family to be loud, not to need a man, to be sexually promiscuous, and to take care of ourselves. These stereotypes we are conforming to are ruining families and children are suffering from it! That is the Jezebel spirit running rampant in our community and that is why our men are falling and there are single mothers everywhere.

Everyone is teaching us how to be Oprah but no one is teaching us how to be Ruth, Esther, or Sarah! A submissive wife changes generations! I’m am so blessed to have a boyfriend who supports me in every way and encourages any dream I have–but my ultimate dream after pleasing Jesus is to be his help meet and make his dreams come true and raise godly children! We are preparing for marriage but are waiting on God’s timing. I’ve learned that when I give my life to God, that’s when my true dreams come true! I’ve been all around the world but never have I had more joy than being right here at home!

To be honest, I used to look down on girls from my high school who got married young and had babies. I thought I was better than them because I was at college living the dream! Oh, how God hates pride! But God has a way of teaching us. Now I see how good they had it!

Lori’s teaching has made me a much better daughter, girlfriend, and future wife. I’m so much kinder, loving, and I serve God any way I can. I am so glad I left my dream behind of making it big in Hollywood and have a new dream of making Jesus famous in my life with my gentle and quiet spirit. For years, I was a cheerleader which taught me to always be sexy, popular, and attention-seeking from a young age so God is still renewing my heart. I prayed for God to make me sweet, that people will see the kindness of Jesus in me. Now wherever I go people tell me, “You are so sweet!”

Lori is such an inspiration to me. When I feel those desires of wanting to be sexy, hot, and famous, I come up and pray to God that he would give me a heart like Lori’s; that only seeks to please him! Lori gets a lot of hate from this world, even from Christians, but she is a true soldier in the Lord’s army and has many crowns awaiting her in Heaven. She has a boldness that we all should desire.

I don’t have to hide my dream of being a housewife anymore. This is a biblical desire and I can own my dream. Why is it people can tell me I can be anything I want but when I want what God wants for my life, to be a Titus 2 wife, then I receive backlash? I’m here to tell Black girls everywhere that you are still smart if you want to be a wife that obeys the Lord and serves your husband. Don’t feel belittled because they tell you only smart black girls are “doctors or engineers.” God’s way will change our Black men and will reverse the generational curse of destruction on the black race. Of course, this is for every race and every color but as a black girl I know how engraved it is in our mind to be trained like a Jezebel.

My mother and grandmother were strong Black women, but not because of their degrees, money, or any other thing the world defines as strong, but they were strong because they loved Jesus, loved their husbands, and loved their children more than anything and that’s what I strive for.

So thank you for reading my story. I give all Glory to God and I thank Ken and Lori Alexander for allowing God to use them to transform my life!

Jesus loves you all!

Stacie Cherill Dickson

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:2, 3

Watering Down Truth to Be Liked

Watering Down Truth to Be Liked

God has a good reason for all that He commands. He is good and we can trust Him. He commands that older women teach the younger women biblical womanhood for a good reason. I see younger women sharing some controversial posts with truth in them then begin backtracking when others who comment start to give them a hard time. They care much more about being liked than speaking truth.

The younger women fail to understand the importance of speaking even the hard truths and combating the lies of today. They are younger in their faith and experience and I don’t blame them for wanting to be liked. It’s difficult to speak the truth of God’s word and be constantly slandered, argued with, and even hated. But “true Christianity will cost a man the favor of the world. He must be content to be thought ill of by man if he pleases God. He must count it no strange thing to be mocked, ridiculed, slandered, persecuted, and even hated” (J.C. Ryle). Our aim in life isn’t to be well liked or popular and you can be assured that you won’t if you share the truth of God’s word.

Some young women shared critical but truthful reviews of a popular “Christian” author’s book that was not biblical at all. Some of the young women who were commenting were saying how much they liked this book even though they didn’t agree with it fully. The younger women who shared it would then respond by saying “Oh, yes, take what you like and spit out the rest” or “Yes, there probably are very good things she shares.” NO! She is a false teacher and we are warned over and over again to not have anything to do with them. If they are teaching things opposed to the word of God, flee! Never water down what God clearly commands.

“Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them” (Romans 16:17). These truths are hard for younger women to write to their Facebook “friends.” They don’t want to offend anyone but truth will always offend those who don’t want to hear it so we must not allow this to stop us from sharing truth. The older women do not seem so easily offended by those who hate them and the truth. They have developed more of a backbone from aging, wisdom, and experience which is how God intends.

It’s extremely difficult even as an older woman to teach women the truths of biblical womanhood. There aren’t many who will teach women to be “keepers at home” because of the backlash and strawmen arguments that are constantly used against them. When they do try to teach it, they will teach all of the exceptions so that almost everyone fits into the exceptions, therefore, few women are keepers at home. The same goes with submission. All of the exceptions given wipe out the clear commands of God for women to submit to their husbands in everything and be obedient to them. Instead of focusing upon the exceptions, let us be bold with the truth of God and allow it to convict and change women’s hearts and minds. Watered down truth does nobody any good at all.

Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.
1 John 4:1

Snatching Ambiguity From Clarity

Snatching Ambiguity From Clarity

During the Judge Kavanaugh’s hearings, the Judge gave an interesting phrase “snatching ambiguity from clarity” as he discussed textualism, the theory that the interpretation of the law is based primarily on the ordinary meaning of the text when it was written. He was referencing those who want to find every reason why what the law actually says is not what it actually means.

Unfortunately, it seems that we have the same issue in the Church today where too many people want to take what is so clearly stated in the Word and twist and turn, reach and hypothesize, all to conclude that they know the mind of God on matters clearly written in God’s Word and they have discovered that God’s mind is the opposite of what is clearly stated.

This is especially true concerning modern biblical womanhood where, of course, modern Western thinking is said to have nothing to do with their conclusions as they stretch for ambiguity to try and upend God’s intent with the plain meaning and make it say the opposite of what God clearly says. In other words, the are “snatching ambiguity from clarity.”

Amiguity means “doubtfulness of uncertainty of significance; double meaning.” Some women love to make other women doubt God’s clear commands and cause them to be uncertain and question if they are true and relevant for today. Clarity means “clearness” which God’s word is to us; most often clear as can be!

I teach women to be submissive to their husbands as it is clearly taught in the text of the word of God but it amazes me how many now love to make it ambiguous. They love to cast doubt on what God has clearly commanded by giving all of the ifs, buts, and exceptions.

“God wouldn’t command women to be submissive because it can lead to abuse!” Is your husband abusing you? If so, quickly seek help. A wife’s loving and willful submission does not include subjecting herself or her children to abuse. But if your husband is not abusing you, stop using this excuse to wipe out the clear teaching of God’s word.

“What if a husband asks a wife to sin?” Is your husband asking you to sin for him or with him? If so, just say no. Submission does not mean we go against God’s clear word and sin.

“That was written only to one church, not to the whole church of God!” No, it was written to all churches. Six epistles clearly state that a wife is to be submissive to her husband’s leadership. Four were to specific churches who were told to pass them around to other churches, and two were to two of the apostles who were Paul’s main proteges, Timothy and Titus, and both were responsible to lead multiple churches.

Perhaps nothing creates more ambiguity with the text than the cry for “mutual submission.” God says one time, “submitting yourselves one to another.” “See! We don’t really have to be submissive to our husbands at all!” They have snatched ambiguity to overturn the clear meaning of seven verses on a wife’s submission by appealing to one verse that also tells her to be submissive! That’s right, “submitting yourselves one to another.” How can such a clear verse now come to mean: “I do not have to submit at all”? These women have in their minds created doubtfulness, uncertainty of significance or a double meaning, and ambiguity; all in an effort to excuse why they refuse to accept the clarity of the text.

The worst case of creating ambiguity with the clear teaching of the word is the massive attempt to justify women holding places of church authority and teaching men in the church even when the plain text says, “Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” (1 Timothy 2:11-14).

“Women were the first to preach to the disciples about Jesus rising from the dead!” How much more ambiguity can you find than a simple message of the resurrection turned into a speaking engagement? Actually, wasn’t it an angel who preached to the women and told them to go tell (not preach) to the disciples that Christ had risen?

“What about Deborah, Junia, and Priscilla!?” All great women used by God but we have not one instance of any woman preaching in the churches or a scrap of any message they gave. Did you miss the part where all the priests of the Old Covenant and all of the apostles were men?

“Junia. She’s an apostle!” Or maybe she was “of note among the apostles”(Romans 16:7)? Or maybe she wasn’t a she at all but Junias, a man? But for those looking to snatch ambiguity from clarity of God’s Word on these matters, they have found enough. They have muddied the waters just enough to create a whole theology for women preachers/teachers and leaders in the churches all out of an ambiguous text.

“Those commands were cultural and only for that church.” Yes, it is the only possible ambiguity that is not dishonest, but it also is not part of the the actual text. There is no place in scripture that God tells us that one day women would lead the church and do it better than godly men can do it. An appeal to the texts being cultural and no longer applicable to our day presumes that Western culture is superior to all other cultures and that God in all His ambiguity could not have clearly given us instructions for marriage and the Church that could endure throughout the church age. No, what was good for almost 2,000 years is no longer good for today as feminism has freed the church from its yoke of biblical culture.

But here’s the “cultural” catch. The apostle Paul’s justification for why a woman was not to exercise authority over a man or teach him predates culture. Paul takes us back to a time before culture began and only Adam and Eve were in the garden. Did Paul lie to us? Or was God giving us His will and His way in a clear manner explaining why He wants male leadership in Christian homes and churches? And if you say Paul lied or was mistaken in his words, you have just opened the slippery slide that will take you away from all of the churches’ teachings leaving you with nothing more than the red letters of Jesus. All these years the Bible could not be trusted by the Church, and you just discovered that for us by all your ambiguities? I do not think so, and we have the mind of Christ (1 Corinthians 2:16) who founded His church upon His apostles as stated in His word.

We live in a culture where everyone has an excuse and a justification for why they will not do the right things in life. Divorce is rampant. Children are left in daycare are all day. Debt is skyrocketing. The unborn are being killed for getting in the way, and every form of sexual sin is being thrust upon us by a pleasure-seeking society where everyone is doing what is right in their own eyes. But some of you want us to believe that this culture is so much better than the culture that Peter and Paul preached to and admonished. That we have progressed to an evolutionary point in the church where we can adapt the Church to this sinful culture and make it better. This world needs Jesus and God’s instructions to us more than ever. Don’t throw out God’s clear admonitions but embrace them as a people called to be separate and holy, set aside for God. His ways are always best.

God is clear what he wants for the role of women in the churches and it is for our good. The clarity of the plain speaking word of God is far more valid than any ambiguity can challenge. Take God at His word, dear women. The New Covenant teachings begin in Acts when the Church was established by the apostles. Everything we need for life and godliness is found in God’s word, not in wishful thinking and a stretch for ambiguity. The New Covenant and the New Testament are our guide giving us all we need for life and godliness. Let us not allow culture to dictate what God’s word says, but rather let us allow God’s word to influence us to stand firm against modern culture by studying it and obeying God!

Are You Abounding?

Are You Abounding?

Written By Nancy Campbell

“What do you mean by abounding?” you ask. 1 Corinthians 15:58 tells us to ABOUND in the work of the Lord. Motherhood is the great work God has given us to do, so why not do it with right attitude?

What kind of attitude? The Bible tells us to have an abounding attitude. The word in the Greek is “perisseuo” and literally means “”to excel, to super-abound, to be excessive, abundant, enough and to spare, over and above.”

Now that’s “over the top” living, isn’t it? Is it possible live like this? In our daily life in our homes? Well, this is what God asks of us because He is not expecting us to live our lives, but for us to let Him live His life through us. The life of Jesus is not normal. It is over and above, more than enough, superabundant.

So, let’s get started.

You don’t smile on the odd occasion. You smile constantly. Whenever you look at your husband, you smile at him. Do you? When you look at our children, you smile at them. When you come out of your bedroom in the morning, you come with a happy face and a cheery “Good morning” to each one. You won’t believe what a difference this makes in your home.

When you encourage your children to do their chores, instead of nagging, you find ways to make it exciting for them. Inspire them. Teach them how to work with a smile. To do it with all their hearts. That won’t be hard for them because they see you doing everything in your home with all your heart.

They don’t see you groaning, complaining, and going around with a sour face. They see you smiling and getting stuck in to every task. You teach them the same way.

Whatever task you do, you do it enthusiastically. Happily.

Teach your children the little rhyme on page 16 in my nursery rhyme book, “Nanny’s Nursery Rhymes.” Get them to say it while they are working. Make up a tune for it.

When I have to do a chore,
I do it straight away,
I never grumble or complain,
There’s always time to play.

I put a smile upon my face,
Because I know it’s right.
I put my shoulder to the task,
And do it with my might.

Pin the following Scriptures up on your walls for yourself and your children to learn.

Ecclesiastes 9:10: “Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might.”

Colossians 3;23: “Whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.”

1 Corinthians 10:31: “Whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God.”

When it’s time to prepare meals, don’t sigh because there’s another meal to cook. Do it with a joyful heart. Make every meal a love affair. Go beyond the normal and make it special. Praise the Lord you have the opportunity to make nourishing healthy meals for your husband and children.

Throw yourself into your great calling. Don’t do it half-heartedly, or half-time. Don’t do it grumblingly, grudgingly, or grouchily. Never the status quo, but more than is necessary.

Be uplifted today, NANCY CAMPBELL

Dream Small

Dream Small

My husband, Ken, wrote this about my dear mother’s passing into the arms of Jesus on Sunday night and I thought it would bless many of you.

What a wonderful person and life well lived.
A Mom, grandma and great grandma who was the perfect example of the song, Dream Small:

Dream small
Don’t bother like you’ve gotta do it all
Just let Jesus use you where you are
One day at a time

Live well
Loving God and others as yourself
Find little ways where only you can help
With His great love
A tiny rock can make a giant fall
Dream small

It is in the simple moments that Ellen gave to us all that changed our world for the better.

Ellen never had grand plans to be a professional or have a career, instead choosing to take her life and invest it in her family and grandchildren. With her ever lilting voice she showed her joy for life and the Lord in the moments each day.

If you could pick from the fruit of her life you would find a table overflowing of love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, and kindness. Her faithfulness and servant’s heart never wavered. All who knew Ellen were very blessed by her joy and generosity.

We will miss you, Ellen Jean, as we loved you very much. We thank you for a life well lived and all the many fun times you gave us all. You sure knew how to live a joy-filled, fun-filled life while shining the Spirit of God to us all. We are better people because of who you are. From family to friends to church friends we loved you dearly.

We thank you that your small dreams became the foundation of our dreams with many more eternal blessings to come. Rest in your Lord and Savior Jesus as you have won the race that was set before you and have entered into His presence as a good a faithful servant. Job well done, Mom!

As for man, his days are as grass: as a flower of the field, so he flourisheth…But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children’s children.
Psalm 103:14-17

Fornication is a Sin Against Your Own Body

Fornication is a Sin Against Your Own Body

We live in a highly sexualized culture. Not many young people are virgins when they marry, even those within the Church. Years ago, Ken and I mentored young couples who were engaged. The leaders of this program, who have been in charge of this ministry for 30 years, told us that when they began this ministry most of the engaged couples had not had sex before marriage but nowadays, it was difficult to find any young couples seeking premarital counseling who were still virgins.

What does God say about fornication? (Fornication is sex outside of marriage. It may be a man and woman before marriage or a married man with an unmarried women or vice versa.)

“Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators….shall inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9, 10)

“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man does is without the body; but he that commits fornication sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).

“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband” (1 Corinthians 7:2).

“Neither let us commit fornication, as some of them (the Israelites) committed, and fell in one day three and twenty thousand” (1 Corinthians 10:8).

There are many more verses related to fornication in the Bible. It is a serious offense in God’s eyes. He wants us to be chaste and pure before marriage and become one flesh with one man. God’s commands are for our good. The spread of sexually transmitted diseases is at an all time high. Yes, the sin of fornication has some serious ramifications. It breaks the covenant of the one flesh marriage (even prior to marriage) and it is a sin against one’s one body.

Is there hope for those who have committed fornication? Of course, but they will deal with the regret and possibly the scars (infertility and/or disease) from it all of their days but there is forgiveness in the Lord Jesus Christ. “And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of God” (1 Corinthians 6:11).

Teach your young daughters and sons to be chaste until marriage. Tell them that God’s ways are best and for their protection. Everything He commands is good. He is a good God and wants us to be holy and set apart. You will reap His blessings if you live your life for Him; for we are promised that we will reap what we sow.

Blessed is the man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of the scornful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law does he meditate day and night. And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that brings forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he does shall prosper.
Psalm 1:1-3

Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even from those within the church. As believers in Jesus Christ, we need to live in a way that is pleasing to the Lord because His ways are the best. He calls debt a burden and urges us to live lives of sexual purity.

There are many reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, sexually available, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.

One woman wrote to me and gave her opinions on why women shouldn’t go to college (Her opinions are in quotes):

“Men don’t want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent’s house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after.” I’m not sure about men only preferring women who still live at their parent’s house and have had no other relationships since some young women have no choice but to live away from their families and some have had their hearts broken by men they thought was “the one.” I completely agree that most men don’t want to marry a woman with a load of debt! This isn’t right to bring into a marriage. Plus, the Bible tells us that the “borrower is the slave to the lender” (Proverbs 22:7). Who would willingly choose to be a slave?

“If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.” I have seen this in many young women’s lives, sadly. Strangers raise their precious children while they struggle to pay off their debt.

“The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.” Unfortunately, most young Christian women won’t listen to their husbands since they’ve not been taught to live in submission to them nor have they ever heard of this verse about being quiet in church, “and if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home” (1 Corinthians 14:35). However, it’s the older women who are called to teach the younger women biblical womanhood (Titus 2:3-5) and most husbands have never seen it modeled in their lives so they wouldn’t know what to teach.

“They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.” Is college worth having fewer children? I will never understand how women prefer careers over having warm, cuddly babies. Never take your fertility for granted, young women! Children are gifts from the Lord that keep on giving.

“They lost a handful of years of experience learning to cook large meals and learning how to work in the garden. College kids don’t cook. If they do, it’s typically for themselves.” Young women learn nothing about biblical womanhood nor what it takes to run a home when they go to college. They don’t learn to serve others, either. They learn the ways of the world, selfishness, and feminism instead; all which make a good marriage unattainable.

“The list goes on. Churches don’t talk about it. They support the college kids (really adults) and the ‘working’ mothers.” It greatly offends working mothers whenever I teach women to be “keepers at home” (Titus 2:5). Yes, God’s truth convicts but most don’t want to be convicted about their lifestyle, so they become “offended” instead.

“It’s very rare to find an 18 year old woman that continues to work and live at her parent’s house until she meets her husband. It’s pretty much a joke to all who do that.” It’s actually protection for young women to live under their father’s roof (if he is a good father) until they get married, if they are able, and there’s nothing wrong with doing this. Universities are definitely not safe places for women!

“Your posts sound crazy to anyone who does not believe the Bible is true. Most girls have not been taught the Bible from their fathers (Ephesians 6:4) nor have young wives learned it from their husbands (Ephesians 5:26; 1 Corinthians 14:35). This part is important. Instead of learning it from their parents or their husbands, they seek out books, movies, or female preachers on how to interpret the Bible which leads them down the wrong path.”

Young women, be wise in the path that you choose to walk on. Keep a long-term vision of your life and how you hope it will be someday instead of acting upon all of the “what ifs…?” that many in our wicked culture will throw at you. Trust God with your life, study the Word, and take the narrow path that leads to life. Stay virgins until marriage, out of debt, and don’t get tattoos! Strive to be virtuous women.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10

*Follow up post for Christians.

The Message’s Watering Down of Biblical Womanhood

The Message’s Watering Down of Biblical Womanhood

The Message’s interpretation of Titus 2:3-5:

Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.

Compare this to the KJV:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

The Message wrote “by looking at them (older women)” instead of “that they may teach the young women.” So older women don’t need to teach the younger women according to The Message. The younger women just need to look at the older women. Oh, right! I sure didn’t know how to love my husband by just looking at older women who had good marriages. I just thought they were married to better men than I was. I needed an older woman to TEACH me how to love my husband.

The Message leaves out a few words that the KJV uses such as chaste, discreet, good, and sober but I guess virtuous and pure can take the place of chaste. What about being discreet, good, and sober? Young women sure need to be taught these important qualities since I see many young women lacking them.

Then The Message changes “keepers at home” to “keep a good house.” Therefore, young women don’t need to have their lives revolve around their homes (“looking well to the ways of her household” as the Proverbs 31 woman was known for doing) but can have careers and do what they want as long as they “keep a good house.” I am sure most women much prefer this way to describe being homemakers instead of being “keepers at home” which is too restrictive in their minds.

The Message completely leaves out “obedient to their husbands” because this is offensive to women today just as being “keepers at home” is. These same women who get offended have no problems obeying their boss but there’s no way they will obey their husbands. Look, every institution has a leader and marriage is no different. God ordained husbands to be the leaders of the home for order and peace. Two leaders never work!

Wow, did The Message water down the final phrase! Instead of “that the word of God be not blasphemed,” the authors wrote, “We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.” Blaspheme means to speak evil about. When young women fail to obey Titus 2:4, 5, their lives speak evil about the word of God. It’s a lot different than simply looking down on “God’s Message.” Make sure your lives don’t cause others to speak evil of God’s holy Word and please, don’t read The Message.

And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
Revelation 22:19

Has God Called Women to Be Independent?

Has God Called Women to Be Independent?

Corrie, who loves the ways of the Lord, wrote a comment on my Facebook page supporting a post I had written. Then “Lauren” responded to her comment this way: “Yes, I’d love to be able to rely on a man and not contribute or make my own money to feel independent.” Corrie then asked the women in the chat room, “Why the need for independence? To be independent from your husband is to go against God. Even the connotation of independence seems to be in rebellion of the Bible. It’s like you are saying you need no one in life, not even Christ.”

A woman wrote to me the other day and told me she was proud of raising three independent daughters who will be able to take care of themselves financially, therefore, not be in need of husbands. Is this a good thing and something to be “proud” about? Is this how God requires that we raise our daughters and can any of you find Bible verses that commands we do this?

Here are the responses to Corrie’s comment from the wise women in the chat room:

Paige: It is definitely rebellion. And sadly it is due in part to our individualistic society. Everything is about self, whereas in other cultures, the emphasis is the family unit – mom, dad, grandparents, extended family.

Helen: Women today HATE to feel dependent on anyone. They want to make their own money so they don’t feel beholden to anyone or have to rely on anyone for their ‘bed and board.’

Molly: Yes, we are to be dependent on our husbands who are to be our heads. It is a safe and fulfilling place to be, however, it goes against what girls are taught today. Lori is counter cultural because she teaches that we are to respectful of our husband’s calling and role.

Lindsay: It’s silly to claim that a woman staying at home and caring for her home and children is not contributing. They’re assuming these things don’t count and only making money is a contribution. Yet caring for the home and children is a huge contribution. Someone has to care for these things, and if the couple doesn’t do them, they have to pay someone else to do them. Plus, no one is going to care for the children like their own mother, so there’s the quality of care to consider as well as the cost. When a woman stays home, she is dependent on her husband financially, but he is dependent on her to care for the home and children. That’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. A couple needs to depend on one another. If they aren’t doing that, why in the world are they married?

Katie: I think it stems from lack of trust. Also, so many of us have divorced parents or absent fathers, so because we couldn’t rely on our fathers for one reason or another, we mistrust men in general. Before I was saved, I had the same mistrust. I put all my effort into becoming financially independent, so I didn’t need to rely on a man. I achieved my goal but it felt so empty.

Taylor: If I’m not contributing, I wanna know why I’m so tired!

Jessica: My stepdaughter just said the same type thing. I’m sure her mother has drilled into her to never trust a man; you can’t depend on one. Society shoves it down everybody’s throat too. We live in a sad world.

Rachel: While growing up, it was drilled in my head that one should not depend upon a man. One should get a degree, and a man wouldn’t want to have a woman who was lazy. And where we live in California, even health and human services drilled messages through ads at the movie theater to teenagers that families need two incomes.

Likewise, growing up with a divorce rate of 50% – watching everyone’s parents getting divorced – it reinforces that message. Having the personal experience of losing my dad as a teenager to a heart attack, two friends in high school lost their dads to heart attack and aneurysm, then friends in college lost their dads to suicide (two different friends). There’s a lot of reasons why people do what they do, and why they have trouble trusting God. Some ideas are so ingrained into your consciousness, it takes God, faith, and a whole lot of courage to go against an upbringing and experience.

Likewise, I also have the added perspective of the life we are living…Not easy, but doable, and God has blessed us with all that we need. Truly amazing. I hope all women with the desire to have good, loving husbands who support them and the desire to have children may be so blessed by God, and I hope God may supply all their needs too.

Rachel: I’m not sure this woman, Connie, feels so obviously defensive. It would be hard to go through life distrustful in a marriage, feeling like one’s contribution were directly tied to a monetary contribution, and that the option to stay at home and be happy in a traditional role was not a possibility – either because the concept of marriage or trust in man is so broken or having a feeling of poverty in one’s life. What happens at the end of one’s life, when one is infirm and cannot work? Does their life become less meaningful or worthy of life? It’s a deep and painful question to deal with. I’d wish her well and pray for her.

Brittney: I’d be curious to know if this woman goes to work for a man. Does she not rely on her male manager to make decisions for her and tell her what to do? Where a SAHM makes many independent decisions daily for her family because her husband has entrusted her to do that. To me, the latter seems more “independent.”

Helen: People also mistakenly believe you are only “contributing” to the family if you bring hard cash into the coffers. Those other contributions to the family as Lindsay and others have talked about are equally valuable. It’s a sad day when only a paycheck equals contributing.

“The decline of the family as the primary haven in a heartless world, the growth of individualism, and the retreat from community loyalty and dependence have made it increasingly difficult for anyone to achieve an adequate sense of belonging in a hostile, fragmented world” (Dr. Archibald Hart).

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
1 Corinthians 11:9