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Reverencing Our Husbands

Reverencing Our Husbands

Most women today do NOT reverence their husbands. Most Christian women don’t even know what it means. I need to learn what it means. I do these words studies not only to teach those who want to learn but for me too. I have seen a few wives who reverence their husbands but it doesn’t come easy for most of us.

I made a YouTube about reverencing our husbands but I know some didn’t like it because they know that their husbands aren’t Christ. In the video, I said to treat your husbands as if they were Christ and then you will know what reverence looks like! I am not sure why I would even have to remind these women that their husbands aren’t Christ. Of course they are not but we are still commanded to reverence our husbands so I am going to try to explain what this means by using by trusty 1828 Webster’s Dictionary.

“Fear mingled with respect and esteem; veneration.” Veneration means “the highest degree of respect and reverence; respect mingled with some degree of awe; a feeling or sentiment excited by the dignity and superiority of a person, or by the sacredness of his character, and with regard to place, by its consecration to sacred services.”

Look at Sarah and how she reverenced her husband. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:5, 6).

The holy women trusted in God. This is foundational to our obedience to Him. “And hereby we do know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments” (1 John 2:3). What are those “commandments” we are to keep. The footnote to the word “commandments” in my Bible tells us: “John uses ‘commandments’ in the general sense of the divine will, however, revealed, ‘his word’ (v. 5) and especially of the law of Christ.” It’s NOT talking about the Old Testament Law, thankfully!

If we trust in Him, we will have no problem reverencing our husbands since He has commanded for us to do this. If our husbands make bad decisions, we will trust in God to make it right. If we are fearful over our husband’s job or income, we trust in God to be our Provider for when we are reverencing our husbands, bottom line – we are trusting in God.

From Barnes Notes on the Bible concerning these verses: “It was probably inferred from this instance, by the apostle, and not without reason, that Sarah habitually used this respectful appellation, acknowledging by it that he was her superior, and that he had a right to rule in his own house. The word lord has the elementary idea of ruling, and this is the sense here – that she acknowledged that he had a right to direct the affairs of his household, and that it was her duty to be in subjection to him as the head of the family.”

The easiest way for me to understand what reverence looks like in my relation to my husband is to treat him as if he were Christ and how I would treat Christ if He were living in my home. I haven’t found any other example or illustration that helps me to better understand this concept than this that was given by Denny Kenaston in The Hidden Woman, especially since I was never modeled it and having a servant’s heart doesn’t come naturally to me although I am a lot better than I used to be.

Our culture doesn’t reverence anything. They don’t even know what it means, therefore, most of us don’t either, but wives are commanded to reverence their husbands in Ephesians 5:33. If you love the Lord and want to obey Him in everything, then learn to reverence your husband. Reverence from a wife is a powerful thing in a husband’s life.

The wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33

She is Loud and Stubborn

She is Loud and Stubborn

Many women today are loud and stubborn, exactly the opposite of what God wants us to be. She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house (Proverbs 7:11).

Elliot’s Commentary on this verse: “Here the wise man draws her character. She is clamorous and obstinate, or refractory. She is full of talk, self-willed, disobedient to her husband, rebellious against God, and incorrigible by any admonitions of ministers or friends. Her feet abide not in her house — She minds not her business, which lies in her own house, but gives herself wholly up to idleness and pleasure, which she seeks in gadding abroad, and in changing her place and company.”

Can you imagine a commentary today writing about a wife being “disobedient to her husband” or that her business “lies in her own house”? This is why I go to the commentaries of old. They understood the Word of God and that His ways are perfect for all generations. They didn’t need to water it down to make it more politically correct! These two issues (submission and keepers at home) are what make women most angry at me when they are truly angry at God.

Unfortunately, many men are married to women like this definition of loud and stubborn women. Married women today have no problem flirting with other men. They find old boyfriends on Facebook and begin an emotional affair that can easily turn into something more sordid without any thought for their husband and children. They are foolish women who are tearing their homes down with their own hands. They have no wisdom. They are “ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7) or like young widows who leave the faith and rebel against God’s will for them which is to marry, bear children, and guide the home: “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not” (1 Timothy 5:13.

From the 1828 Webster Dictionary, clamorous means “speaking and repeating loud words; noisy; turbulent.” I’m sure most of you remember the images from the Women’s March the day after President Trump’s inauguration. Yes, those women fit the definition of clamorous to a tee.

Obstinate means “stubborn; pertinaciously adhering to an opinion or purpose; fixed  firmly in resolution; not yielding to reason, arguments or other means.” An obstinate woman doesn’t have a teachable heart. Being right is more important to her than having a strong, healthy relationship with her husband. She is deceived easily and follows women preachers and teachers with no discernment. She refuses to change her rebellious ways yet insists that everyone else is in the wrong except for her.

Refractory means “disobedient; obstinate in non-compliance; unmanageable.” Ken mentors men with wives like this. We pray for these couples because there’s not much a husband can do with a wife like this except to plead with the Lord. They refuse to listen or submit to their husbands and continually make life miserable for everyone in their family. It’s tragic and ugly.

Incorrigible means “cannot be corrected or amended; bad beyond correction; too depraved to be corrected or reformed.” It’s almost as if they have been given over to reprobate minds (a person abandoned to sin; one lost to virtue and religion – Romans 1:28) because they continually practice sin. They refuse to take any rebuke, exhortation, or advice. They have become their own god and falsely believe that what is right is wrong and what is wrong is right.

What is the opposite of being loud and stubborn and never at home? It is having a meek and quiet spirit, living in obedience to our husbands, and being a keeper at home (working hard in the home). Instead of being “self-willed” we need to go hard after God’s will and conform our will to His. This is what pleases the Lord and what He calls women to do. His ways are perfect!

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4

Called to Moderation in a Culture of Excess

Called to Moderation in a Culture of Excess

We are a culture that seeks pleasure of the eyes and of the flesh. We eat too much. We buy too much. We seek too much pleasure. We are not known for our moderation and yet, God calls us to moderation. “Let your moderation be known unto all men” (Philippians 4:5). Moderation should define us! What does moderation even look like since it’s hard to find this quality in a nation that is overweight, gluttons, seekers of pleasure rather than seekers of God, spendthrifts, and entertainment seekers?

How did I study this word, moderation? I went to my 1828 Webster Dictionary, of course! “Restraint of violent passions or indulgence of appetite. Eat and drink with moderation, indulge with moderation in  pleasure and exercise.” Wow! The last word stood out to me. Many in our culture are addicted to exercise and spend countless hours and money to get in shape. Alcohol use is high, even among Christian women. It’s common for them to be having a glass of wine at 2:00 in the afternoon. It’s easier than ever to indulge in being entertained instead of keeping a clean and tidy home and training our children. Many women today are given to violent passions because they are being led by their emotions and feelings instead of by wisdom and moderation.

We must not allow our culture to define our lives. We must be the ones to take control and make wise choices by taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and reminding ourselves that we are dead and freed from sin (Romans 6). If you are tempted to overeat, remind yourself that you are going to be the master over your flesh from now on and it is going to be your slave. You aren’t going to allow it to bully you around anymore. Yes, you can take a couple bites of a rich, chocolate, gooey birthday cake. The cake doesn’t have to have mastery over you since Christ lives within you and you have everything you need for life and godliness. You can choose to have some cut up veggies for a snack instead of chips every time you are hungry. You. can. control. your. appetite!!!

We don’t need to exercise for hours every day. We don’t have to have a perfectly toned body like they show on all of the magazine covers and television shows. Our tummies don’t have to be flat and our arms perfectly toned. It’s okay to grow older and spend more time on things that have eternal value. Let’s become more like Jesus and learn to have a meek and quiet spirit instead, because true beauty comes from within and not our dead and dying flesh.

We also don’t need to be entertained every second of every day. We don’t have to check Facebook every few minutes and see how many “likes” we have received. Let’s care a whole lot more about pleasing our LORD, instead of gaining the approval of man. We are commanded to work hard and move. Our homes shouldn’t be a dirty mess. We have the discipline to keep them clean and tidy because we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

Concerning alcohol, it is made very clear in His Word that we are to be “sober” so judge every sip you take of alcohol with the word sober. We are also commanded to “not drink much” and “just a little” so keep those phrases in your mind if you do drink alcohol. It can easily enslave people and as believers, we only want to be enslaved to Christ and His will.

Another definition of moderation given is “calmness of mind; equanimity; as, to bear prosperity or adversity with moderation.” I had no clue what equanimity meant so I looked this word up: “evenness of mind; not easily elated or depressed, which sustains prosperity without excessive joy, and adversity without violent agitation of the passions and depressions of spirit.” In other words, we don’t allow our emotions and feelings to control our lives. Our lives must be built upon the Word of God and His truth, therefore, we can keep everything in perspective.

This life on earth is a speck of eternity. We live for eternity and store our treasures there. We know that everything on this earth is going to burn so we hold on to the things of this earth loosely. We invest our lives into people because they are eternal; either eternally with the LORD or in hell. This guides our life in how we treat others and the words we say to them. We want ALL to come to the knowledge of Him so we value them way over the stuff of this world.

Finally, the last definition of moderation given is “frugality in expenses.” We don’t spend a ton of money on ourselves. We adorn ourselves with modest apparel, meaning we don’t spend a lot of money on clothes. In the chat room, a number of us are not buying any new clothes for a year because we all have more than enough. My neighbors are moving and she showed me her home right before it went on the market. Her closet was practically empty! I asked her about it and she said, “Why would I need any more clothes?” Why do women need 20 pairs of shoes, ten purses, drawers full of makeup and hair stuff? We don’t! It’s wasted money that could be used for better and eternal things.

We are to be wise with our money, our time, our appetite, and our entertainment, women. Let us strive to be known for our moderation, as the LORD has commanded us to be, and we can because He works mightily within us.

Love not the world, neither the things that are in the world. If any man love the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh, and the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life, is not of the Father, but is of the world. And the world passeth away, and the lust thereof: but he that doeth the will of God abideth for ever.
1 John 2:15-17

Pursuing a Meek Spirit

Pursuing a Meek Spirit

Godly women are called to have a meek spirit. “But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price” (1 Peter 3:4). Yes, I have written about this before but I love to return to these important qualities over and over again since they aren’t modeled in our culture. We are called to exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin (Hebrews 3:13) so I am going to exhort you to be meek!

I have read that the 1828 Webster Dictionary is the best one to study a word from since it was written long before the Women’s Rights movement and political correctness. From what I have studied so far, it’s amazing! People still trusted in the God of the Bible back then and reverenced Him. I even put an app on my phone for easy access for $2. Noah Webster, the author of this dictionary, wrote, “The Bible is the chief moral cause of all that is good and the best corrector of all that is evil in human society; the best book for regulating the temporal [secular] concerns of men.” No wonder I love it so much!

This is how this old dictionary defined ‘meek’: mild of temper; soft; gentle; not easily provoked or irritated, yielding; humble; submissive to the divine will; not proud or apt to complain of divine dispensations.

Mild of temper: A meek woman doesn’t have temper tantrums or angry outbursts against others and demand her own way. She isn’t easily troubled by circumstances because her trust is in the LORD. When her children make mistakes such as breaking something, she doesn’t fly off the handle and yell at them. In fact, she tries to never yell at them since it doesn’t accomplish anything beneficial. Possessions don’t own her so she doesn’t allow them to control her emotions. Her children are more valuable to her than stuff.

Soft: A meek woman is gentle and feminine. She isn’t hard, forceful, or loud. She speaks softly and dresses feminine and modest. She acts like a lady.

Gentle: A meek woman is kind and considerate. She loves others deeply and cares for them. And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you (Ephesians 4:32).

Yielding: A meek woman surrenders to her husband’s will, just as the Church surrenders to Christ’s will. Surrender means to yield to the power of another. A meek wife yields to the authority that God has given to her husband. She does it willingly and joyfully. It’s an act of her will and her desire is to give of herself freely to her husband while obeying him in everything, as the Church does with Christ.

Humble: The meek woman isn’t proud, haughty, arrogant, or assuming. She understands who she is in Christ and that her worthiness comes from Him alone. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves (Philippians 2:3).

Submissive to the divine will: She loves the LORD and His Word. She doesn’t question it or try to dismiss it as not cultural. She reads and studies it so she will be transformed by renewing her mind with truth. When she is going through hard times, she knows that God will bring good out of them for all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28).

Not proud or apt to complain of divine dispensations: A meek woman doesn’t think she knows more than God but instead understands that He’s in control so she trusts and obeys Him. When something troublesome is on her mind, she tells the LORD all about it and then leaves it in His hands knowing that He will work it all out for good. She understands that suffering is part of the Christian’s life as Christ has suffered for her, so she doesn’t complain in her suffering but rests in the Lord’s divine will for her.

Any woman who calls herself a Christian and loves the LORD with all of her heart, soul, and strength will pursue a meek spirit.