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Category: Godly Womanhood

Live and Love Your God-Given Role!

Live and Love Your God-Given Role!

John MacArthur had this to say about women in the 90s but it still sadly defines too many women today: “What kind of woman is the prototype of the ‘90s woman?  What is the modern super-woman supposed to be?  Maybe something like this: she works, builds her own career, demands equal pay, refuses to submit to her husband, demanding equality with him in everything, has an affair or two, and a divorce or two.  She exercises her independence, relies on her own resources, doesn’t want her husband or children to threaten her personal goals, has her own bank account. 

She hires a maid or a cleaning service, eats out at least 50 percent of the time with her family or without them, makes cold cereal and coffee, the standard breakfast for her family, quick frozen meals usual dinner fare, or she calls Domino’s Pizza, expects her husband to do his share of the housework.  She is tanned, coiffured, aerobicized, into body-building shape, shops to keep up with the fashion trends, makes sure she can compete in the attention-getting contest, puts the kids in a day care center, makes sure each has a TV in his room, or a radio, or a CD player so they can be entertained.  She is opinionated, demanding, wants to be heard, eager to fulfill all of her personal goals.”

Right after I read this, I received this comment that someone had just left on my post that went viral last year about housework and not expecting husbands to help with it: “This is astoundingly offensive. Women and men both work outside the home in most households and there is no reason the man should get a pass on helping around the house while the woman slaves at home and at work.”

Yes, that post continues to receive comments on it and women continue to get “offended” by it. (The only things that should offend us, women, are Satan and sin, not others’ opinions but many of today’s women are easily led by their emotions and feelings, thus get offended easily.) Women today expect their husbands to help with housework, since they are the ones who decided they wanted to have careers and work outside of the home. Therefore, if they are bringing in some of the money, it makes perfect sense that their husbands should help with the housework. Now, many men want their wives to work since they like the thought of having extra money more than having a help meet (which most women have no desire to be). What a tangled web we have woven! It’s so far from what God has intended for us.

We, as godly women, are to be keepers at home with meek and quiet spirits living simply within our husband’s income, not demanding anything from our husbands but living in submission to their leadership. When we are at home tending to all of the details of running our homes and raising our children, our husbands can tend to working hard to provide a living for the family. God created male and female and He created us with different roles to fulfill. When these roles are filled with the husband and wife, there is harmony and peace within the home. The blurring of these roles has led to more divorce and devastation than anything else. Satan’s goal is to destroy the family because if he can destroy the family, he destroys nations.

Love your God-given role, women. No, it’s not bondage as many today want you to believe. It’s freedom from having to try and live a man’s role by providing plus having to do a woman’s role of homemaking. We were created to only do a woman’s role and it is good!

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Living a Mundane Life

Living a Mundane Life

Yes, this was me forty years ago on my nineteenth birthday. I was celebrating it with my friends from Westmont College. At this point in my life, I had no aspirations to be a career woman, rich, or famous. I had lived a relatively mundane life and dreamed of continuing to live one by being a wife, mother, and homemaker, if the Lord blessed me with a husband.

I grew up in a relatively stable home with a mother and father. I went to church and public schools my entire childhood and then a Christian college. I received my teaching credential, taught a few years, then the Lord indeed blessed me with a husband. We had four children, while I stayed home full time to raise them. Yes, my life was mundane.

This is all I ever wanted to do – be a wife and mother. I didn’t care about a college education or a career. I never wanted to write a book or even considered being a writer since I didn’t like English or writing. I poured my life into my family for the many years my children were home as best as I could despite being ill most of their growing up years. I loved it, however, for I was right where I was supposed to be.

This past weekend, my college friends (only five could attend since Lori G. was home for her first grandbaby’s birth) gathered together for three days in Ventura. We became close friends right after beginning college and have been ever since. Here we are our sophomore year:

Lori G, Me, Sandy, Jan, Denise

The New York Times had an article titled You’ll Never Be Famous – and That’s Okay. “The most meaningful lives, I’ve learned, are not often the extraordinary ones, but the ones lived with dignity.” The article tells of a woman who had high dreams and ambitions but becomes only a wife and a mother and learns to “embrace her life as it is and contributes to all those around her…”

“…connecting and contributing to something beyond self, in whatever humble form that may take…meaning is not found in success and glamour but in the mundane…a good life is a life of goodness.”

All six of us married when were were in our early twenties. We are still married to the husbands of our youth. We all had children and were full-time mothers. We lived mundane lives of cooking, cleaning, serving, raising children, and being help meets to our husbands. This is all any of us wanted to do.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully (1 Timothy 5:14). This is God’s prescription for young women and it is perfect. Yes, we have all gone through trials and sufferings but we are stronger in the Lord and in our faith because of them.

While we were in Ventura, we visited Denise’s 86 year old mother, Sue. I asked Sue what her marriage was like and she quickly responded, “I was a submissive wife and my husband was the head of our home!” Denise told us she never heard her parents argue and she lived an “idyllic childhood” which she assumed everyone was blessed with! Sue was home full time and continually taught her four children about the Lord and His ways. I remember her back in the college days as always being warm, cheerful, and kind. We spent many weekends in her home.

Here’s five of us (plus Jan’s sister, Lynn, who became close to us during those years, too), forty years later, from this past weekend:

Sandy, Tracy, Lynn, Me, Jan, Denise

Tracy shared with us that after the first year of college, she left because all she ever wanted to do was to be a wife and mother. She said her mother, Trixie, and all of her mother’s friends were homemakers while she was growing up but in order for Tracy to attend Westmont Trixie had to work at a retail store. Trixie developed migraines from the stress of it. Tracy didn’t want her mother to have to work for her to go to college when all both of them wanted to be were homemakers so she quit and worked until she got married.

All of our lives were considered mundane in our feminist culture but they were exactly what God has called women to do. None of us would have chosen to do anything else. We loved being the ones home to raise our children and were blessed. You may feel that you live a mundane life, women, but it is a good life and God’s perfect plan for you!

And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you.
1 Thessalonians 4:11

Living to Not Blaspheme or Bring Reproach Upon Christ

Living to Not Blaspheme or Bring Reproach Upon Christ

There are two place in the Bible that specifically say that our failure to obey the Word of God by women results in blaspheming the Word of God and causing the adversary to speak reproachfully.

…that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

What does it mean to blaspheme the Word of God and cause the adversary to speak reproachfully? First of all, if you love the Lord, you will not want to do anything to blaspheme His Word or cause the adversary to speak reproachfully.

That the gospel may not be injuriously spoken of, on account of the inconsistent lives of those who profess to be influenced by it. The idea is, that religion ought to produce the virtues here spoken of, and that when it does not, it will be reproached as being of no value” (Barnes’ Notes).

If we are not being sober, loving and obeying our husbands, bearing and raising children, discreet, chaste, keepers of the home and guiding the home, we are telling the world that our wisdom and ways are better than God’s. We are telling them that His ways are not for today, not culturally relevant, and they don’t work. We are blaspheming Him by doing this!

By living our lives as Christ has called us to live them, we are saying to all those around us that God’s ways work and they are perfect for us. They will see sober-minded women who think and act biblically. They will see women loving and obeying their husbands and adorning themselves with submission. These women will reverence their husbands and only speak highly of them.

They will see women who love bearing and raising children, knowing that they are precious blessings from the Lord. These women will want to be home raising their children for the Lord. They will discipline, train, and teach them the ways of the Lord so they will shine like lights in the darkness.

And this they say is what is meant by the woman’s being an helpmeet for man, that while he is abroad about his business, she is , ‘sitting at home’, and keeping his house; and this they observe is the glory and honor of the woman” (Gill’s Exposition).

Gill would sure be blasted by most women today by writing what he wrote! He believed that a woman sitting in and keeping her husband’s home brought glory and honor to her which is so contrary to what is believed today but this is exactly what God’s Word clearly explains to us. Women having careers is praised and honored in our culture but we should expect no less since the world’s ways are opposite of the Lord’s ways.

If Christians profess to be influenced by a supernaturally strong and sacred motive, and then fail to do what lower and ordinary motives often succeed in effecting, the world charges the failure on the lofty motive itself, and Christ bears once again the sins of His people” (Cambridge Bible).

It is clear what godly women are to be doing with their lives yet those who teach it are mocked and ridiculed even by those who call themselves Christians. They don’t understand that they are really mocking the Lord since He is the one who has called women to these things in Titus 2:4, 5. Thus Christ is made to look weak since they falsely believe their ways are better than God’s ways. Oh, how foolish many women are today!

The adversary is eager to exaggerate the faults of a few, and to lay the blame on the whole Church and its doctrines” (Jamieson-Fausset Commentary). Those who are opposed to the Gospel of Christ carefully search the lives of those who claim to love the Lord and His ways. They scour through every word they write and watch the way they live their lives so that they might find some way that these Christians are living hypocritically of what they are saying and believing.

I know some of these adversaries. They read every word I write and try to find anything in my past or present life to discredit me and what I teach. When they do find “dirt” on Christians, they place all of the blame on the Church and God’s ways. They love to do this concerning submission and making it into something ugly and abusive instead of God’s perfect will for our lives.

And give no occasion to Jews or pagans (the adversaries of Christian religion) to speak of the church, or any particular members of it, reproachfully, as living beneath the rules of morality and decency” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary). But we, as women who love the Lord and want to glorify Him in all we do, are careful to live our lives according to His clear Word. We don’t try to water it down or say it’s not culturally relevant because we know it is and that it’s unchanging. It is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

That is, either that Satan, the grand adversary of the saints, might have no opportunity to reproach them, and cast in their teeth their unbecoming walk, or accuse them before the throne; or that any enemy of the Christian religion might have no room nor reason to speak evilly of Christ, his Gospel, truths, and ordinances, on account of the disorderly conversation of any that profess his name” (Gill’s Commetary). We must not give those who hate the Word of God any reason to speak evil of us. We do this by obeying the clear teachings of the Word but we don’t care if we are laughed at and mocked because we know Whom we serve and Whom we have to give an account for our lives. It doesn’t matter if we are few in number because we don’t compare ourselves to those around us but only to God’s living and active Word to make sure we are living according to His perfect plan for us.

All, of every rank and age, who think they love the Lord Jesus should remember that the ‘enemy’ is ever watching their words and works; never should they who wear the colours of the great King forget the charge of the King’s son, ‘Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven’” (Ellicot’s Commentary). As you live as godly wives and mothers at home, you are being salt and light to a depraved culture. Those in the world are watching you. They are looking for women who live what they believe and what the Lord commands. You bring glory to the Lord as you live in obedience to Him and those watching may have their eyes opened to truth and their hearts softened by your obedience to the clear commands of our Savior.

The practical worth of a religion is not unfairly estimated by its effects on the lives of those who profess it. If the observed effect of the Gospel were to make women worse wives, it would not commend it to the heathen; ‘for the Greeks judge not of doctrines by the doctrine itself, but they make the life and conduct the test of the doctrines’” (Expositor’s Greek Testament). There are too many Christian women who are not submissive, live in contention with their husbands, divorcing their husband to remarry another, raising rebellious children, and pursuing careers. They look just like the women of the world. May this never be said of you, women. We are called to be different than those in the world. Our path is narrow but it’s the only path that leads to life. Walk on it.

When Women Become Vile

When Women Become Vile

A woman’s natural use for her body is to have intercourse with her husband and from this have children and nurse them at her breast. This is the way God created women to use their bodies but as a result of sin, as carefully described in Romans 1, and from their rejection of God, God gave them up to vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature (Romans 1:26).

“For even their women—that sex whose priceless jewel and fairest ornament is modesty, and which, when that is once lost, not only becomes more shameless than the other sex, but lives henceforth only to drag the other sex down to its level” (Jamieson-Fausset Brown Commentary). Women have a huge influence upon culture. If they can tear their own homes down with their hands, they can tear down cultures. If they can win their husbands without a word by their conduct, they can win cultures.

“The moral worth of a woman holds a man in restraint and preserves his ways from becoming utterly corrupt. Mighty is the power of a woman in this respect. A woman’s influence is the chief anchor of society. The world is moved and civilization is advanced by the silent influence of women. Our times call on women of a higher order of character and life. Will they heed the call?” (from The Golden Gems of Life, 1880).

We must use this influence for good, women, by dressing modestly and using our bodies the way God intended us to use them. We must seek moral purity and pass this down to our children. We must love and obey our husbands and draw them to ourselves by our patience and kindness. Let’s model Christ and His Church to a depraved culture. People are watching us.

“The practices here referred to, though too abundantly attested by classic authors, cannot be further illustrated, without trenching on things which ‘ought not to be named among us as become the saints.'” (Gill’s Commentary). We aren’t supposed to know what the depraved do behind closed doors. We shouldn’t watch it on the movie screen, television, or through the Internet. We should have no desire to watch the latest popular celebrity who wants to change their gender and know the details. None of this should be named among us for we are commanded to dwell on the good and the lovely, instead.

“Observe, nevertheless, how the Apostle delineates the female dishonor in less concrete traits than the male. He touches the matter in Romans 1:26 briefly and clearly enough, but with delicate avoidance of detailed description…The Apostle’s point of view is the moral, which, in the case of female depravity, comes out most glaringly. And therefore Paul, in order to cast the most tragic light possible on these conditions, puts the brief delineation of female conduct in the foreground, in order then symmetrically to subjoin, with, the male vice as the second part of the filthy category” (Meyer’s Commentary).

I believe it is more egregious for women to leave their natural function than it is for men since women don’t have the strong and powerful sex drive that men have. Men have ten times the testosterone and just their anatomy and the fact that they are visually stimulated makes it more difficult for them to remain morally pure. This is why women are called to be modest, discreet, and chaste for the good of culture. It is easier for them and when they lose this, all hell breaks lose and culture sinks into all types of depravity quickly.

“On this and the next verse we must not comment in detail. The hideous vices here plainly named, one of them in particular, frightfully deface some of the very fairest pages of ancient literature.” (Cambridge Commentary) A few of the commentaries made reference to this fact of not knowing the details. The Bible doesn’t go into any sordid details and neither should we. This means we need to be careful about the books we read and things we see. We should keep our eyes on things above and desire more than anything to be pure and holy (set apart) as the Lord has called us to be.

Let’s use our bodies for the natural functions in which the Lord created them to be used by getting married when a godly man wants to marry us, bearing children if we are blessed, and guiding the home.

Living to Not Blaspheme or Bring Reproach Upon Christ

Living to Not Blaspheme or Bring Reproach Upon Christ

There are two places in the Bible that specifically say that our failure to obey the Word of God results in blaspheming the Word of God and causes the adversary to speak reproachfully.

…that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

What does it mean to blaspheme the Word of God and cause the adversary to speak reproachfully?

“That the gospel may not be injuriously spoken of, on account of the inconsistent lives of those who profess to be influenced by it. The idea is, that religion ought to produce the virtues here spoken of, and that when it does not, it will be reproached as being of no value” (Barnes’ Notes).

If we are not being sober, loving and obeying our husbands, bearing and raising children, discreet, chaste, keepers of the home and guiding the home, we show a watching world that our faith in Jesus Christ has no value since we look just as the world looks. We live our lives like they do and Christ in us has no effect to transform lives.

By living our lives as Christ has called us to live, the watching world will see a difference in us. They will see sober-minded women who think and act biblically. They will see women loving and obeying their husbands and adorning themselves with submission. These women will reverence their husbands and only speak highly of them.

They will see women who love bearing and raising children, knowing that they are precious blessings from the Lord. These women will want to be home and raise their children for the Lord. They will discipline, train, and teach them the ways of the Lord so they will shine like lights in the darkness.

“And this they say is what is meant by the woman’s being an helpmeet for man, that while he is abroad about his business, she is , ‘sitting at home’, and keeping his house; and this they observe is the glory and honour of the woman” (Gill’s Exposition).

The world will see women who are discreet, chaste, and good. These women don’t demand their way or want to pursue their goals and be served, but are content with the will of God and serving their families. They love being home and working hard there, thus their homes are places of beauty, rest, and order. God is glorified in their homes, in their marriages, and in their lives.

“If Christians profess to be influenced by a supernaturally strong and sacred motive, and then fail to do what lower and ordinary motives often succeed in effecting, the world charges the failure on the lofty motive itself, and Christ bears once again the sins of His people” (Cambridge Bible).

The adversary is eager to exaggerate the faults of a few, and to lay the blame on the whole Church and its doctrines” (Jamieson-Fausset Commentary). Many cry “hypocrite” when they see  Christians who are not obeying the clear Word of God and use this as an excuse to not attend church or to believe in their Creator, then cast blame on all Christians claiming they serve a weak God. Don’t be a hypocritical Christian who causes others to look poorly upon the name of Christ by living in disobedience to His clear commands.

“And give no occasion to Jews or pagans (the adversaries of Christian religion) to speak of the church, or any particular members of it, reproachfully, as living beneath the rules of morality and decency” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary). But we, as women who love the Lord and want to glorify Him in all we do, are careful to live our lives according to His clear Word. We don’t try to water it down or say it’s not culturally relevant because we know it is and that it’s unchanging. It is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

“That is, either that Satan, the grand adversary of the saints, might have no opportunity to reproach them, and cast in their teeth their unbecoming walk, or accuse them before the throne; or that any enemy of the Christian religion might have no room nor reason to speak evilly of Christ, his Gospel, truths, and ordinances, on account of the disorderly conversation of any that profess his name” (Gill’s Commetary). We don’t care if we are laughed at and mocked because we know Whom we serve and Whom we have to give an account for our lives. It doesn’t matter if we are few in number because we don’t compare ourselves to those around us but only to God’s living and active Word to make sure we are living according to His perfect plan for us.

“All, of every rank and age, who think they love the Lord Jesus should remember that the ‘enemy’ is ever watching their words and works; never should they who wear the colours of the great King forget the charge of the King’s son, ‘Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven’” (Ellicot’s Commentary). All that matters to us is that we bring glory to our King and our Savior for He alone is worthy and His ways are perfect. We understand this because our eyes are opened to truth and our hearts are softened to it, unlike the many who are blinded by their sins and “hold the truth in unrighteousness” (know the truth but refuse to obey it).

“The practical worth of a religion is not unfairly estimated by its effects on the lives of those who profess it. If the observed effect of the Gospel were to make women worse wives, it would not commend it to the heathen; ‘for the Greeks judge not of doctrines by the doctrine itself, but they make the life and conduct the test of the doctrines’” (Expositor’s Greek Testament). Our faith doesn’t make us “worse wives”; it makes us better wives because we understand truth and that God’s Spirit works mightily within us, therefore, we are able to cheerfully submit to and obey our husbands because when we do this, we know that we are obeying the Lord and this is all that matters in life; pleasing and serving our Savior.

Shameful For Women to Speak in Church

Shameful For Women to Speak in Church

Women today want to speak in church. I know this because whenever I write anything on this topic, I have a lot of women telling me that I am wrong and they use a few verses to try to prove it. I shared this on Facebook a few months ago:

A woman brought up this verse to refute what I shared. But every woman that prays or prophesies with her head uncovered dishonors her head: for that is even all one as if she were shaven (1 Corinthians 11:5). Apparently, women hate the thought of being quiet in church. (I have written about this topic before but women continue to take it out of context or read something into it that is not there.)

Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible has become my favorite commentary and this is what he had to say about this verse. “But every woman that prayeth or prophesieth,…. Not that a woman was allowed to pray publicly in the congregation, and much less to preach or explain the word, for these things were not permitted them: see 1 Corinthians 14:34 but it designs any woman that joins in public worship with the minister in prayer, and attends on the hearing of the word preached, or sings the praises of God with the congregation, as we have seen, the word prophesying signifies, with her head uncovered.”

The main point of 1 Corinthians 11 is stated in verse 3: But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. It’s not so much about wearing a piece of cloth on your head or having long hair or not since in verse 16 we are told, But if any man seem to be contentious, we have no such custom, neither the churches of God. It’s about God’s created order; man is head over his wife and the wife should live in subjection to her husband.

God doesn’t contradict Himself. By instructing women to be silent in the church four times and to be in submission to our husbands many times, He has made His will clearly known to us. Either you take Him at His Word of you try to find ways to disobey Him by making up your own rules. It’s your choice.

Arrayed and Acting Like a Harlot

Arrayed and Acting Like a Harlot

There met him a woman with the attire of a harlot, and subtil of heart. She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house (Proverbs 7:10, 11). I decided to dig into these verses to find out the opposite of what we are called to be and study the qualities of a harlot from the old commentaries to make sure none of us can be accused of any of her ways. There are many women who act as harlots today by their behavior, clothing, and willingness to defile the marriage bed by having affairs, divorcing their husbands, and remarrying another man.

The attire of a harlot is described as “showy gaudy garments, such as the Athenian whores wore, or sort ones, as the Romans; the word signifies one fitted to her body, neat and well shaped, to recommend her: so the woman, the whore of Rome, is said to be arrayed in purple and scarlet color, and decked with gold, and precious stones, and pearlrs; signifying the outward pomp and splendor or the Romish religion, designed to captivate weak and unwary minds” (Gill’s Exposition).

From this old commentary, we are given some guidelines about what is considered immodest. Wearing showy, gaudy garments designed to show off and draw attention to ourselves is not being ‘shamefaced’ (1 Timothy 2:9) as we are called to do. The word ‘modest’ not only describes covering up but includes not spending a lot of money on our clothing and not being excessive or extreme in the amount of clothing we own, as many are prone to do today. We need to learn to deny ourselves and not live for what we want but for what God commands.

It’s shameful how packed full most of our closets are with clothing that we never wear. Our time and money shouldn’t be spent at the malls and pouring over the Internet for more clothes to buy; for godliness with contentment is great gain. Let’s not be known for how we dress but for how kind and loving we speak and act instead.

Our clothing must not be too short or too form fitting, as to show off our bodies in order to entice men. Our desire should never be to try to attract attention by the clothes we wear or cause men to stumble and lust after us but to cover up and respect the men in our lives.

“In Revelation 17:14, the harlot is ‘arrayed in purple and scarlet, and decked with gold and precious stones and pearls;’ and in the present case the female is dressed in some conspicuous garments, very different from the sober clothing of the pure and modest” (Pulpit Commentary). In comparing the harlot to the pure and modest woman, this commentary uses the word ‘sober’ to describe the clothing that we are to wear which simply means being serious in our walk with the Lord and obeying what He has commanded us to do in all areas of our lives. We don’t need to be known for having the latest fashion designs, but for caring more about our good works and others; for this brings glory to the Lord.

Next, the harlot is known for being subtil of heart. “Feigning love to her husband and devotion to her lovers, yet caring for none, only to satisfy her own passions” (Ellicott’s Commentary). She is selfish, self-seeking, and doesn’t care who she hurts in the process. Sadly, many women, even Christian women, don’t care about causing harm to their husbands and children as they divorce their husbands because they aren’t happy, fulfilled, or any other adjective they use to justify their selfish behavior. They tear their homes down with their own hands by not being faithful to the husband of their youth.

She is “open to all impressions of evil, empty-headed and empty-hearted; lounging near the house of ill-repute, not as yet deliberately purposing to sin, but placing herself in the way of it at a time when the pure in heart would seek their home” (Barnes’ Notes). As you will notice in the commentaries concerning “her feet abide not in her house,” all of these men of old knew and taught that women were to be keepers at home, not out and about. (This is studied in more detail below.) Strive to be known as women who are pure in heart and seek the good of your homes. This is your God-ordained workplace, not finding amusements elsewhere.

She is loud and stubborn…

She was “clamorous, noisy, and talkative, when she has got her gallant with her; pouring out foolish and unchaste words to allure and entice him; unless it is to be understood of her bawling and scolding, when within doors, at her husband, in order to get him out, and be rid of him; to whom she is ‘stubborn’ and ‘rebellious’, breaking the covenant with him, and disobeying his commands; and departing from him, declining out of the way; speaking rebellion: all which agree with the whore of Rome, who is rebellious against Christ, whose spouse she professes to be; is perfidious to him, disobedient to his commandments; is gone out of the way of his truths and ordinances, and publishes and encourages everything that is contrary thereunto; as well as has a mouth speaking blasphemies” (Gill’s Exposition).

She was know for scolding her husband and being stubborn and rebellious towards him. Do the words stubborn and rebellious describe you? Do you insist on your way like a bull dog with a rag in its mouth? Do you treat him more as a child than your husband? Do you refuse to submit to his leadership and obey him in everything?

The harlot was known for “disobeying his commands” whereas we are commanded to obey our husbands as well as reverence, submit to, please, and serve them. Let this come from a heart that wants to please the Lord in everything and joyfully submitting to your husband’s commands. As we live in submission to our husbands, we are living in submission to our Lord.

She “publishes and encourages everything that is contrary thereunto; as well as has a mouth speaking blasphemies.” This reminds me of feminism and their leaders who have published books and articles encouraging women to do things that are completely opposed to what the Lord has called us to do. They have completely twisted God’s beautiful role for women and femininity and made it into something ugly and vulgar: independence from men, being away from the home, careers, pushing birth control, abortion, immodesty, and all types of evil.

“She hides her real feelings, feigning, perhaps, affection for a husband, or love for her paramour (lover), while she seeks only to satisfy her evil passions” (Pulpit Commentary). She doesn’t know how to love. She is not patient and kind. She doesn’t bear all things, believe all things, hope all things, and endure all things. She is a covenant breaker and her heart is hard and not transformed by the power of the Lord. She will reap the bad fruit she sows.

“She is full of talk, self-willed, disobedient to her husband, rebellious against God, and incorrigible by any admonitions of ministers or friends” (Benson Commentary). She may say she is a believer but her actions are contrary to her words; having a form of godliness but denying the power thereof (2 Timothy 3:5).

Her feet abide not in her house…

She is not a “keeper at home as St. Paul would have Christian matrons to be” (Ellicott’s Commentary). God commands older women to teach the younger women to be keepers at home. Apparently, younger women don’t naturally want to be keepers at home just as they don’t want to obey their husbands, dress modestly, be sober, good, chaste, and discreet, therefore, they must be taught all of these qualities by godly, older women who have hopefully acquired them.

“She minds not her business, which lies in her own house, but give herself wholly up to idleness and pleasure, which she seeks in gadding abroad, and in changing her place and company” (Benson Commentary). Our business is in our homes, women. This is where we are called to work hard by being help meets to our husband, mothers to our children, cooking, cleaning, washing, and all the other work in the home.

If any of this is neglected due to time on the Internet, watching television, shopping, ministries outside of the home, and entertainments, please seriously consider changing your life around to focus your time and energies upon what the Lord has called you to do: be in your home as keepers at home. Never be accused of “gadding abroad”; seeking pleasures outside of your home when things at home are unfinished or falling apart.

“She minds not her business, which lies at home, but gives up herself wholly to idleness and pleasure, which she seeks abroad with other men” (Matthew Poole’s Commentary). There are few women who were trained to keep clean and tidy homes. Our culture is an entertainment and pleasure-seeking one. Most children weren’t raised to work hard or have much responsibility in the home but this doesn’t mean that you must stay this way. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you, including learning to work hard at home and serving your husband and children.

She fails “to attend the business of it; but site is gadding abroad to seek her lovers, and bring them in; it is the character of good women that they are keepers at home, but it is the sign of a harlot to gad abroad” (Gill’s Exposition). Did you notice that he wrote that the character of women is to be keepers at home? Yes, this is our calling and when we are “gadding abroad” we are blaspheming the Word of God since He is the One who calls us to be keepers at home.

“She is the opposite of the careful, modest housewife, who stays at home and manages her family affairs – always restless” (Pulpit Commentary). A perfect description for a godly woman is one who is careful, a modest housewife (not forward or boastful but virtuous), staying at home and managing family affairs. She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. The majority of her time and energy are in her work at home.

I often hear of women saying they are bored at home. Well, you know what? Women who work at jobs outside of the home get bored, too. Being bored isn’t wrong or bad but complaining about it is so decide to not say you’re bored anymore and find things to keep yourself busy, even if this means fixing meals for mothers who just had a baby, writing encouraging letters to others, calling your parents, visiting the elderly, and any number of ways to minister to others but make sure you are never neglecting your duties at home and with your family; for this is God’s high calling upon your life.

Freedom From Depression

Freedom From Depression

Women are twice as likely as men to get depressed and studies have shown that not only are women more hormonal but we are much more relationship oriented. Women suffer depression over loss more easily than men as well. If they move to a new place and lose old friendships, they can easily get depressed. Those who were not close to their mothers, rejected by their mothers, had distant mothers growing up or lost their mother by the age of eleven years old have a much greater risk at being depressed than those who had a mothers who were kind, cheerful, affectionate, and engaged according to Dr. Brenda Hunter in her book Home By Choice.

“Depression is feeling inside, ‘I am unloved; no one will ever truly love me. Nothing will ever be good. These feelings are persuasive and powerful…Aaron Beck, one of the world’s foremost authorities on mood disorders wrote this: We feel the way we think, and when we are depressed, we think in illogical, self-defeating ways.”

Depressed women have a tendency to always be looking in their past which gives them a sense of hopelessness and their thoughts become distorted. “Burns believes that as we become aware that our thoughts precede – and determine- our feelings, and as we learn to control our thoughts, we can banish depression.”

Whenever a woman tells me she struggles with depression, I encourage her to be in the Word and renew her mind with truth. Learn about her identity in Christ and that her past is forgiven and forgotten. She is a brand new creature because of Christ’s work on the cross. Her past no longer has to define her. God tells us that He gives us a sound mind. He instructs us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He commands that we dwell on the lovely and the good. We can trust that the God who made us knows what is best for us!

“We remain in the darkness at our own peril. If we allow the darkness to engulf us, we may not be able to combat the inertia that sets in. We must learn to catch ourselves at the beginning of our downhill slide. As we monitor our self-talk, we fight back.”

Dr. Hunter encourages mothers to also find support groups. In our chat room, there are many women who don’t have any godly, support outside of our group so it’s good to be encouraged and supported by other women. “Women need other women. We wither in isolation; we blossom with nourishing friendships. We need our female friends in the good times of life, and we especially need them when we are grappling with the loss of a spouse, parent, or friend.”

Find a solid Bible teaching church with godly women to get together with when you can. Build friendships since women do need friends. Become best friends with your husband as far as it depends upon you. Learn to smile and laugh with him. Work hard at home. God created us to work and work is good for us! Discipline yourself to eat healthy and stop eating sugar and junk food. Get outside and exercise. Don’t allow your thoughts to define your life but take control of your thoughts and allow truth to define them instead.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:17

Is Your Home Full of Strife or Peace?

Is Your Home Full of Strife or Peace?

How does a woman tear down her own home? For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work (James 3:16). This woman is not content with what she has and does not live within her husband’s income but is constantly lusting for more when she sees what others have on Instagram, Facebook, and the fixer up shows on television. She has not learned godliness with contentment but is always searching for ways to spend more money than she has but this still is not enough for her.

She is full of strife. She quarrels and argues about many things because she is selfish and wants her own way. She is not fun to live with but makes everyone’s life miserable with her unhappiness, moodiness, and discontent. She is critical and finds fault with almost everything and everyone.

How does a wise woman build up her home? But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy (James 3:17). She is pure. She dwells upon the lovely and the good. She doesn’t watch filthy shows or movies. She is careful what she puts before her eyes and what she listens to since she loves the Lord and His ways.

She is peaceable. She isn’t argumentative and contentious. She doesn’t quarrel and fight for her own way. She is content in life and believes every day is a blessing and a gift to be enjoyed while she lovingly serves her family.

She is easy to be entreated. If someone needs help, they have no problem asking her since they know she will readily listen and help whenever, whoever, and wherever there is a need. She is servant-hearted and loves to make others lives as good and pleasant as she can.

She is full of mercy. She overlooks injuries and treats offenders better than they deserve. She understands that as Christ has forgiven her, she forgives them.

She is full of good fruits without partiality. She is patient and kind to all. She works hard in her home with willing hands and is consistently looking for things that need to be done. She will do good to any and all.

She is not a hypocrite. She lives what she believes. She doesn’t help others to be rewarded on this earth because the only one she aims to please is the Lord so she stores her treasures in heaven where they belong. Her actions, words, and behavior come from a deep and abiding faith in her Heavenly Father.

She builds her home up with all of these and her family rise up and call her blessed.

And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace of them that make peace.
James 3:18

Teaching Younger Women to Be Good

Teaching Younger Women to Be Good

God instructs older women to teach younger women to be good in Titus 2:5. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, GOOD, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed. Women have scolded me for saying we can be good. They say that only God is good because of this verse: And Jesus said unto him, Why call me good? there is none good but one, that is, God (Mark 10:18). But the reason Jesus said this according to Gill’s Exposition was that He was “not as denying that he was good, or as being angry with him for calling him so, but in order to lead this young man to a true knowledge of him, and his goodness, and even of his proper deity.” Of course, Jesus was good because He was perfect and now He lives inside of us! 

 God expects His children to be good just as we expect our children to be good. I love how all of the old commentaries used the KJV since it’s my favorite version of the Bible, so they all have the word “good” in them!

Ellicot’s Commentary on the word “good” in Titus 2:5: Gracious, kind, thoughtful to others, especially to inferiors.

Barnes’ Notes: In all respects, and in all relations. To a wife, a mother, a sister, there can be no higher characteristic ascribed, than to say that she is good. What other trait of mind will enable her better to perform her appropriate duties of life? What other will make her more like her Saviour?

Jamieson-Fausset: kind, beneficent. Not churlish and niggardly, but thrifty as housewives.

The book of Ephesians has a lot to say what God expects from us and what would be classified as being good, too.

These are all from Ephesians 4 and 5: Lowliness, meekness, longsuffering, forbearing one another in love, speaking the truth in love, be ye angry and sin not, working with our hands to give to those in need, no corrupt communication coming from our mouths but only which is good and edifying, kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, redeeming the time because the days are evil, filled with the Spirit, singing and making melody in your heart, and being thankful.

In these two chapters, we are told several times how we are to walk: walk worthy of the vocation (God’s calling for your life) wherewith ye are called (4:1), walk in love (5:2), walk as children of light (5:8), and walk circumspectly (5:15).

As godly women, our goal in life should be going around doing good and the most important people we should be doing good for is our own family. Learn to be a servant and do what you can to make their lives as happy as you can. Never forget that being a help meet to your husband is your priority. Fix your family good, nourishing food. Keep your home clean and tidy for them. Make sure their clothes are clean and put away. Be in the Word so you can be a cheerful presence in your home. Don’t be ruled by your emotions but be ruled by truth. Build your homes up by finding ways to bless your family and making your home a place of peace and rest.

How are we supposed to be good and accomplish all of these things? By putting on the whole armor of God and believing God’s promises to us; for it is His Spirit that works mightily within you!

With good will doing service, as to the Lord, and not to men: Knowing that whatsoever good thing any man doeth, the same shall he receive of the Lord, whether he be bond or free.
Ephesians 6:7, 8