Women are twice as likely as men to get depressed and studies have shown that not only are women more hormonal but we are much more relationship oriented. Women suffer depression over loss more easily than men as well. If they move to a new place and lose old friendships, they can easily get depressed. Those who were not close to their mothers, rejected by their mothers, had distant mothers growing up or lost their mother by the age of eleven years old have a much greater risk at being depressed than those who had a mothers who were kind, cheerful, affectionate, and engaged according to Dr. Brenda Hunter in her book Home By Choice.
“Depression is feeling inside, ‘I am unloved; no one will ever truly love me. Nothing will ever be good. These feelings are persuasive and powerful…Aaron Beck, one of the world’s foremost authorities on mood disorders wrote this: We feel the way we think, and when we are depressed, we think in illogical, self-defeating ways.”
Depressed women have a tendency to always be looking in their past which gives them a sense of hopelessness and their thoughts become distorted. “Burns believes that as we become aware that our thoughts precede – and determine- our feelings, and as we learn to control our thoughts, we can banish depression.”
Whenever a woman tells me she struggles with depression, I encourage her to be in the Word and renew her mind with truth. Learn about her identity in Christ and that her past is forgiven and forgotten. She is a brand new creature because of Christ’s work on the cross. Her past no longer has to define her. God tells us that He gives us a sound mind. He instructs us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He commands that we dwell on the lovely and the good. We can trust that the God who made us knows what is best for us!
“We remain in the darkness at our own peril. If we allow the darkness to engulf us, we may not be able to combat the inertia that sets in. We must learn to catch ourselves at the beginning of our downhill slide. As we monitor our self-talk, we fight back.”
Dr. Hunter encourages mothers to also find support groups. In our chat room, there are many women who don’t have any godly, support outside of our group so it’s good to be encouraged and supported by other women. “Women need other women. We wither in isolation; we blossom with nourishing friendships. We need our female friends in the good times of life, and we especially need them when we are grappling with the loss of a spouse, parent, or friend.”
Find a solid Bible teaching church with godly women to get together with when you can. Build friendships since women do need friends. Become best friends with your husband as far as it depends upon you. Learn to smile and laugh with him. Work hard at home. God created us to work and work is good for us! Discipline yourself to eat healthy and stop eating sugar and junk food. Get outside and exercise. Don’t allow your thoughts to define your life but take control of your thoughts and allow truth to define them instead.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:17