Men are Learning that Marriage is Nothing Good for Them

Men are Learning that Marriage is Nothing Good for Them

anger-1226157“You have to realize that there is nothing Christian about the Government Sanctioned ‘Marriage Contracts’ that are being peddled now. They are nothing but tools for lawyers and judges to rob and steal from (mostly) men. Men are slowly learning that marriage is nothing good for them, and reacting by staying away from the fraud,” wrote Tim on my post Men Giving Up on Marriage.

Lindsay Harold responded: “It is true that, given the current cultural attitudes about marriage and the legal system, it is a huge risk for a man to marry. Culturally, society tells women to leave if they aren’t ‘happy’ and that marriage is for them to be served by a man and get children if they want them. So, many marriages continually revolve around the desires of the woman, trying to keep her happy by doing things her way to keep peace in the home and keep the family together. Men hate this, but many live this way because they don’t want to lose their family.

It’s even worse if the woman decides to leave. No-fault divorce laws means she can walk away from the marriage at any time, for any reason, or no reason at all, and over the objections of her husband. And if she does, the courts will almost always grant her primary custody of the children, half the existing assets, and a sizable chunk of her former husband’s income.

Thus, marriage today, for a man, often means he gets emasculated by catering to his wife constantly, being belittled and berated rather than appreciated, and then she decides she isn’t happy, takes his kids and his money, and goes off to do her own thing. It’s no wonder men are reluctant to sign up for that.

Marriage as God intended it is a beautiful thing and beneficial to both men and women (and vital for children). But since society won’t enforce marriage vows and instead actively encourages marriages to break up, it is very important to find a spouse who has their own internal morals and character so that they can be trusted to remain in the marriage even when all the incentives seem to encourage them to leave.”

I replied to this man: “There’s a lot good about marriage if a man finds a godly, submissive woman to marry. She will bear and raise your children. She will be a help meet to you and make your life easier. She will take good care of your home and fix you good meals, plus be available sexually for you, but you must find a woman who believes wholeheartedly in biblical womanhood.”

Appreciate your husband, women, and stop shaming him, thus causing him to regret the day he married you if you are a foolish woman who is tearing her house down with her own hands.

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Every wise woman buildeth her house:
but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.

Proverbs 14:1

Complain Less and Praise More

Complain Less and Praise More

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Written By Charles Spurgeon

If we complained less, and praised more, we should be happier, and God would be more glorified. Let us daily praise God for common mercies–common as we frequently call them, and yet so priceless, that when deprived of them we are ready to perish.

Let us bless God for the eyes with which we behold the sun, for the health and strength to walk abroad, for the bread we eat, for the raiment we wear. Let us praise him that we are not cast out among the hopeless, or confined amongst the guilty; let us thank him for liberty, for friends, for family associations and comforts; let us praise him, in fact, for everything which we receive from his bounteous hand, for we deserve little, and yet are most plenteously endowed.

But, beloved, the sweetest and the loudest note in our songs of praise should be of redeeming love. God’s redeeming acts towards his chosen are forever the favourite themes of their praise. If we know what redemption means, let us not withhold our sonnets of thanksgiving. We have been redeemed from the power of our corruptions, uplifted from the depth of sin in which we were naturally plunged. We have been led to the cross of Christ–our shackles of guilt have been broken off; we are no longer slaves, but children of the living God, and can antedate the period when we shall be presented before the throne without spot or wrinkle or any such thing.

Even now by faith we wave the palm-branch and wrap ourselves about with the fair linen which is to be our everlasting array, and shall we not unceasingly give thanks to the Lord our Redeemer? Child of God, canst thou be silent? Awake, awake, ye inheritors of glory, and lead your captivity captive, as ye cry with David, “Bless the Lord, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.” Let the new month begin with new songs.

O that men would praise the Lord for his goodness,
and for his wonderful works to the children of men.

Psalm 107:8

Are My Teachings Dangerous?

Are My Teachings Dangerous?

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Women who despise what I teach have commented that what I teach is dangerous. I asked the chat room why women believe this and here are some of their responses.

Cassi:  “I think many women have a warped sense of what submission is, and because of this, they see that submission = abuse.”

Robin: “One person relinquishing perceived power, by submission, evokes myriad fears if the woman doesn’t have Christ and trust God. They think they have to protect and provide for themselves, because this gives a false sense of security. It’s unthinkable to a woman whose higher power is herself to imagine being yielded and dependent upon God, and certainly a human husband.”

Lindsay: “There are 3 main factors, I think, that make women avoid submission.

1) The teaching of the world. Feminism tells women that men can’t be trusted and thus can’t ever be placed in power over a woman in any way. Women should never be vulnerable, they say. Stay in control. You don’t need a man. It’s conditioned into women from a young age to think this way.

2) Bad experiences. The world tells women to pick men based on looks, social status, and ability to have fun. It also tells them to sleep with those men because it’s fun. Not surprisingly, this turns out to be very bad advice, and women get hurt by men who use them and leave them or who abuse them. They pick bad men because they use bad criteria and it leaves scars that make them unwilling or unable to trust a man any more.

3) Plain old pride and rebellion. Even the most sheltered woman still has a sin nature and doesn’t like to give up control and recognize someone else as having authority over her. We all like to have our own way.”

Alisha: “Pride mostly. They don’t want to change or hear there is another way. Rebellion in their hearts.”

Melissa: “They have created their own sense of God and the Bible to fit their lifestyle.”

In the twelve years that I have been mentoring women personally, not one has told me that what I teach is dangerous. Those who know the truth yet refuse to obey it (“hold the truth in unrighteousness” Romans 1:18) believe the worse about the Lord and His ways. They can no longer see right from wrong and wrong from right. We are clearly seeing this in our culture today. I have taught wives who are being physically abused to call the authorities and some have had to do this in order to protect themselves and/or their children.

Nothing a disobedient husband can do to his wife can compare to a husband spending an eternity in hell, however. This eternal perspective is what I am trying to teach women who are married to disobedient husbands (1 Peter 3:1). Yes, love may have to suffer long here on this earth which is really a short period of time compared to eternity. I am not saying here that women should allow themselves to be physically abused as this serves no purpose, but much of marriage is a test of commitment and faith which is made complete by patiently suffering for the man you chose to love and be committed to for life. Love suffers long, and yet earthly suffering cannot compare to the suffering of a disobedient husband in the fire and brimstone of hell for eternity, unless his wife wins him to the Lord.

Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God.
1 Corinthians 6:9, 10

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.
Revelation 21:8

Commands to Godly Women with Strong Warnings

Commands to Godly Women with Strong Warnings

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There are few times in the Bible that has a strong warning after a command. Look at these two verses closely and examine the strong warning after each.

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:14) The command is for younger women to marry, bear children, and guide the home. The warning is to give none occasion to the adversary (the Devil) to speak reproachfully.

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5). The commands are to the older and younger women on how they should live their lives and the warning is that the Word of God be not blasphemed.

God is serious about how godly women live their lives as you can see from these commands and warnings. Other things that blaspheme (speak evil against) the Word (Christ – John 1:1) or against the Holy Spirit (Luke 12:10) are those who dishonor and oppress the poor (James 2:6, 7), and “For the name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles through you, as it is written” (Romans 2:24).

What does all this mean? From Barnes’ Notes on the Bible: “That is, your conduct is such as to lead the pagan world to blaspheme and reproach both your religion and its Author. By your hypocrisy and crimes the pagan world is led to despise a religion which is observed to have no effect in purifying and restraining its professors; and of course the reproach will terminate on the Author of your religion – that is, the true God. A life of purity would tend to honor religion and its Author; a life of impurity does the reverse.”

God gives clear directions on how women who love Him are supposed to live their lives in honor of Him. Can you see how much this culture hates and despises God’s ways and so many Christian woman have fallen for their lies and deceit not realizing that they are blaspheming God’s Holy Word? Yes, the world hates God and I am consistently ridiculed for teaching His Word but when they see Christian women willing to live out their lives in obedience to Him, these God-fearing women are witnessing to a dying culture the power of a Living God. We should not want to give the enemy of our souls any reason to speak reproachfully or blaspheme His Word if we love the Lord Jesus. Our greatest desire should be to live for Him completely. You need not guess what He wants for you, women. It is clear in these verses. Now, go about living your life in obedience to Him which brings glory to Him.

The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge:
but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Proverbs 1:7

The Waste of a College Education

The Waste of a College Education

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Our culture idolizes education. Having a degree from a university makes you somebody in most people’s mind. I know it doesn’t matter to the Lord, that is for sure since the “the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19). “A recent article in The New York Times about the mountain of education debt owed by college graduates — an average of $27,600 — reports that “fewer students than ever say taking out loans to attend college was worth it.”Dave wrote this about universities in the comment section on my blog.

“I’ve often said that college was a joke, overall, and simply a meal ticket that was a waste of time and money, having said that my business degree from a major university was a 95% waste of time. And that was 40 years ago. After a career in commercial banking I have not changed my mind.

Now I see college not as simply a substantial waste* but as a death mill with: 1) ridiculous costs; the burden on families and government, 2) as an anti-biblical bastion pushing a PC cram-down without freedom of thought, 3) teaching young adults to waste time and become a burden, disengaging them from the real work-a-day world, 4) it delays marriage and the seriousness of family, 5) it is an incubator of immoral sexual behavior, 6) it trains all to get used to women leaving the care for the household. Phrased another [and frank] way: it trains up lazy, self-serving, sexually immoral, thoughtless, non-contributory, a-biblical leaches on life that have just left everyone [parents, students, government] in big debt.

While colleges started with proper motives, it all started to unravel when it originated women’s colleges in the mid 1800s, taking women from the home, selling all that they should be ‘in the gates of the city’ conducting business alongside men. It helped make a mockery of marriage.

There are a handful of disciplines where college is helpful/ necessary [maybe for 20% who attend college] but ’on the job’ education is the way, and much less costly.”

I posted this on Facebook the other day and as you can imagine, I received many angry comments.

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Dennis Prager, my favorite radio personality, agrees with Dave. He believe universities along with the Hollywood and the media are what have caused our nation to become so evil. He thinks only those who want to become doctors or something along this line should go to college since they actually need an education and can pay back the debt. Dennis wrote, “Suffice it to say, therefore, that vast numbers of college students outside of the sciences learn too little, rarely have their minds opened and rarely learn to love learning. If you major in English, for example, you are far less likely to immerse yourself in studying Shakespeare than in deconstructing him and others dismissed as Dead White European Males. Our colleges are dominated by ‘post-moderns’ and other nihilists for whom seeking truth is regarded as a reactionary fraud, not an academic ideal. For these professors, deans and presidents, the primary purpose of the university is to mold students in their images — people alienated from America and from God.”

It was mostly educated university students who voted for Bernie Sanders. Mr. Sanders wants to tax people up to 90% of their income, thus taking away all incentive to work. Yes, I do agree that for some men a college university is important, especially for men who need to support their families and are going into the medical field but I will never believe that a university education is important for the masses since it accomplishes exactly the opposite of goodness or godliness.

“I am as sure as I am of Christ’s reign that a comprehensive and centralized system of national education, separated from religion, as is now commonly proposed, will prove the most appalling enginery for the propagation of anti-Christian and atheistic unbelief, and of anti-social nihilistic ethics, individual, social and political, which this sin-rent world has ever seen.”  – A.A. Hodge (Yes, I understand this quote concerns sending children to public schools but universities are giving the same results.)

“He that is not with me is against me.” -Jesus
Matthew 12:30

Only One Job For Mothers Lasts for Eternity

Only One Job For Mothers Lasts for Eternity

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A mother who is a doctor or nurse can help people get better but they will all die eventually.

A mother who is a lawyer can win some cases but only those who love Jesus win in the end.

A mother who is a teacher can have an influence in her students’ lives for one year but what they learn in this life is very temporary.

A mother who is an actress or singer entertains a lot of strangers for a while.

A mother who is a salesperson sells things that will all burn one day.

A mother who is in the military, police or fire department may save lives temporarily but only very temporarily since life is short compared to eternity.

A mother who spends her child-bearing years raising, training, and teaching children full time have the opportunity to build God’s kingdom here on earth and for eternity.

Which job do you think is the most important one for mothers?

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3

Not one of the other jobs does God call a heritage of the LORD and a reward. Even Mother Theresa spent her life helping children. “How can there be too many children? That is like saying their are too many flowers.” Our children and grandchildren are our greatest treasures. Nothing in this world even comes close. It grieves me to hear young married couples who are not interested in having children or postponing having them because of the wife’s career.

When He Comes Home After the Affair

When He Comes Home After the Affair

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Her husband had an affair but she fought for her marriage using 1 Peter 3:1-6 because she cared more about her husband’s eternal soul and her children’s future than her own happiness. She was willing to do what God told her to do to win her disobedient husband in spite of the pain and suffering he was causing her. She won her husband back but would still have times of grief thinking about her husband with another woman and the pain of it all. During these times of crying, her husband would hold her. One of these times, she felt his tears flowing down her face as he told her how sorry he was for the pain he caused her. He finally showed true repentance from his affair. Here are words of encouragement from her to a woman in the chat room whose husband is having an affair and any of you who are reading this and are in the same difficult situation.

That was one of the most beautiful moments in my marriage; to watch true repentance happen is wonderful! It was almost two years after my husband confessed his affair that I saw true repentance. Of course, he apologized to me before that and wanted our marriage to work, but there wasn’t true godly repentance and sorrow about it until almost two years later. Until that point, it was still lots of daily work on his part and especially mine. Now, we still work at our marriage, but it isn’t a struggle. It’s soooo much more joyous and wonderful!

 I want to tell you that when your husband comes home, that’s when the real battle takes place with you especially. It’s already starting with comparison. You have to KILL. THAT. NOW! Don’t allow that to happen. Anytime the thoughts come, you must renew your mind with God’s word and stay continually in prayer.

I will be honest, I was overjoyed when my husband and I decided to begin working on our marriage after the affair but I wasn’t prepared for how hard it would be with the battle of my mind. That’s where our flesh is the weakest and Satan attacks the hardest. I went into a depression because I turned to my husband, now that he was home, to fix things that he messed up. He couldn’t then and he still can’t now. But I expected it. And it dragged me down to the lowest point. I turned my husband into Jesus into my mind and it crippled me and almost made our marriage fall apart again because I became so obsessed with him and was living in fear of it happening again..

So here me now and learn from my mistakes: Keep your eyes on Christ. I’m gonna repeat that again because it’s sooooo important…KEEP YOUR EYES ON CHRIST!!! Don’t let your mind dwell on what happened or what your husband might be thinking or doing. Don’t. Focus on God and His blessings instead. Keep being the wife that drew him to want to come back home. But don’t make him your idol or your Jesus. It will destroy the marriage you have worked so hard to maintain.

When it gets hard…pray. When your mind wants to wander…pray. When thoughts try to come and invade your mind…pray!!!! Get in the Word, more so now than you ever have. Renew your mind!

Trying to bring your husband back home was tough…but now the real battle against your mind will begin. As you see, it already is. Stay strong. And forgive your husband. Truly and deeply forgive him. Come in here and let us help you when it gets tough. God is on your side and with him on your side you have heaven’s armies on your side too! I am soooo glad he is coming back! Prayers are being answered!!! Keep winning him without a word. God will bless this. He already is!! Many hugs!!

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word,
they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives.

1 Peter 3:1

Sin Hardens Hearts

Sin Hardens Hearts

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“Take heed, brethren, lest there be in any of you an evil heart of unbelief, in departing from the living God. But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin. For we are made partakers of Christ, if we hold the beginning of our confidence steadfast unto the end; While it is said, To day if ye will hear his voice, harden not your hearts, as in the provocation” (Hebrews 3:12-15).

From Matthew Henry’s Commentary about these verses: “But sin, long persisted in, will make God’s wrath discover itself in destroying the impenitent; there is no resting under the wrath of God. Take heed: all who would get safe to heaven must look about them; if once we allow ourselves to distrust God, we may soon desert him. Let those that think they stand, take heed lest they fall. Since to-morrow is not ours, we must make the best improvement of this day. And there are none, even the strongest of the flock, who do not need help of other Christians. Neither are there any so low and despised, but the care of their standing in the faith, and of their safety, belongs to all. Sin has so many ways and colours, that we need more eyes than ours own. Sin appears fair, but is vile; it appears pleasant, but is destructive; it promises much, but performs nothing. The deceitfulness of sin hardens the soul; one sin allowed makes way for another; and every act of sin confirms the habit. Let every one beware of sin.

More from Matthew Henry: The saints’ privilege is, they are made partakers of Christ, that is, of the Spirit, the nature, graces, righteousness, and life of Christ; they are interested in all Christ is, in all he has done, or will do. The same spirit with which Christians set out in the ways of God, they should maintain unto the end. Perseverance in faith is the best evidence of the sincerity of our faith. Hearing the word often is a means of salvation, yet, if not hearkened to, it will expose more to the Divine wrath. The happiness of being partakers of Christ and his complete salvation, and the fear of God’s wrath and eternal misery, should stir us up to persevere in the life of obedient faith. Let us beware of trusting to outward privileges or professions, and pray to be numbered with the true believers who enter heaven, when all others fail because of unbelief. As our obedience follows according to the power of our faith, so our sins and want of care are according to the prevailing of unbelief in us.”

And what is the unpardonable sin? “And to whom sware he that they should not enter into his rest, but to them that believed not? So we see that they could not enter in because of unbelief.” Unbelief.

Seeing then that we have a great high priest, that is passed into the heavens,
Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our profession.

Hebrews 4:14

Black Friday Sale!

Black Friday Sale!

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My book is for sale! You can buy 2 for $20. If you are interested, send the money to laalex2@aol.com at PayPal. Make sure to include your address. If you are outside of the USA, the shipping will be more but I will give you a further discount on the book so it won’t cost you so much extra. Just email me and I will give you a price. You can watch me tell the story behind my book and what it is about (Yes, it’s all new!) on YouTube. It is also sold on Amazon in kindle form for $7.49. Blessings to you!

This is the day which the Lord hath made;
we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Psalm 118:24