The Jezebel Profile

The Jezebel Profile

Written By Debi Pearl

Every day I read many letters from women who are having trouble in their marriage. I also receive letters from women testifying of the victory they have received and of healing that has occurred.

I have developed a lot of insight through reading these testimonies of successes and failures. My husband and I have searched the Scriptures to find answers for the many domestic issues that are presented to us.

The causes of marital failure are many and varied. There is no one cause or single issue. The man is at fault just as much as the woman, but it is nearly always the woman who seeks answers. Men just go to work and learn to live with it—or flee from it. Women ask, “What can I do to heal my marriage?” I am a woman. Men don’t usually ask me for advice—which is as it should be. So I speak to women, and for that I am often accused of being one-sided. Women ask, “Why do you always blame the women; what about the men?” So to the women I say, you cannot change 100% of the marriage, but you can change 50% of it, and that may improve your marriage by 200%.

Our readers are a unique group. They are spiritually minded, church going, Bible believing, mostly homeschooling, and very family centered in perspective. This profile lends itself to several unique sources of irritation to the marriage. Your letters and testimonies have enabled us to identify one of the most common problem on the woman’s side. It is the Jezebel spirit.

When the name Jezebel comes to mind, most of us see the painted face of a seductively dressed woman gazing into the eyes of a man who lacks good sense. The Bible portrays Jezebel in a different light.

Revelation 2:20 says that Jezebel “calleth herself a prophetess,” and men received her as a teacher. This was given as a warning to the church. The one whom you have received as a spirit filled teacher comes to you in the great tradition of Jezebel. We have observed that many wives have stalled their half of the marriage by assuming the spiritual headship of the home. They would teach their husbands. But consider 1 Cor. 14:34-35,

“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”

I went back to I Kings to see what the Bible had to say about this woman Jezebel. The first thing I noticed was that Jezebel was more religious than her husband. She was spiritually intense. The Bible says in 1 Cor 11:3, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” As a woman, our place is under our husband, especially in the spiritual realm. Regardless of our circumstances, when we take the spiritual lead, we have stepped out from under our head. We have tried to rearrange God’s designated place for us. We are no longer in God’s will.

The second thing I observed was that Ahab was emotionally volatile—unstable. Is your husband prone to retreat? Is he bitter, angry, or depressed? When a woman takes the lead, she is playing the masculine role. Unless her husband fights her for supremacy, he must assume second place. And men who are forced into spiritual subjection to their wives tend to be angry and retreat like Ahab.

The third thing I noticed was that she used his emotional stress to endear herself to him—strange way of lording over the husband. Jezebel manipulated and accused an innocent man, then had him murdered so that Ahab might have the vineyard he wanted. Ahab kept his face to the wall and let her do her dark deeds. Today, if a woman is willing to play her husband’s role in directing the family, he will lose his natural drive to bear responsibility.

In the dominant role, a woman quickly becomes emotionally and physically exhausted. God made us the weaker vessels. If you are in this exhausted state, then chances are you’re carrying a load not meant for you. It is not for you to press your husband to do his duty to be spiritual. You are to live joyfully in the context he provides.

The fourth thing that jumped out at me was that Ahab could easily be manipulated by his wife to suit her purposes. Jezebel used him to set up images as aids to worship under her own prophets and to kill God’s prophets. Often, a man becomes involved in the Church, not because God has called him or because it is in his heart to do so, but because he is trying to please his wife and at least LOOK spiritual. When a husband steps into a spiritual role at his wife’s beckoning, he becomes vulnerable to her guidance in that role.

This is against nature, and often brings conflict in the family and in the church.
Ahab chose not to notice when his wife worked behind the scenes. Many men turn their heads when they see their wives stepping out of their God-given role. These men would rather not have to deal with the stone-cold anger they would receive from their wives if they offered any resistance. Have you been there, done that?

Jezebel knew that she was not the rightful head, so she invoked her husband’s name to give her word authority. Did you ever say, “Oh, my husband will not let me do that,” when you knew in truth he really would not care? It is a way to maintain control and stop those who would question you. When a woman does this, she stops any ministry God has to her.

Jezebel was deeply concerned about spiritual matters and took steps to help promote her spiritual leaders. In the process, she provoked her husband to destroy those in spiritual authority she did not like. Have you ever influenced your husband to think evil of those in authority because you did not like something about them? When a woman comes to this place she might as well sign her name “Jezebel.”

God has a plan for women. He revealed his will in many verses in clear, concise commands. He gives a revealing picture of what he abhors in a woman by introducing us to Jezebel, then reaffirming in the New Testament just what it was about her character that he found so despicable.

He reveals his will in a positive note in the stories of the women whom he honored. The story of Ruth tells of a young girl who had known tragedy, extreme poverty, and hard menial work, yet she maintained a positive, thankful, and submissive attitude. God blessed Ruth because her own personal success and happiness were not the driving forces in her life.

Esther is the story of a girl who lost all of her family and was taken by force to become the wife of an older, divorced, heathen man. She was put (by her husband’s decree) in danger of losing her own life as well as the lives of all her people. Yet, she overcame her circumstances and her fear in order to honor her husband. The Scripture teaches that when her husband heard her honest appeal, delivered with gracious dignity, she won his heart, and he turned to save her people. God used Esther because God’s will was more important to her than her own fulfillment.

Proverbs 31 defines the virtuous woman. She is NOT a mousy, voiceless prude. She is confident, hard working, creative, and resourceful. She uses her time wisely. Her first virtue is that the heart of her husband is safe with her. It says that she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. That is, he can trust her with his thoughts and feelings, never fearing that she might use the private knowledge she has of him to hurt him in any way. Some men maintain a distance from their wives because if they reveal themselves, their wives will use it against them when they are out of sorts.

If this passage had been written from our modern perspective, it would have extolled her for having a “quiet time,” prayer time, fellowship time, and would have projected an image of a prayer warrior, teacher, or counselor. In all the Scriptural profiles of righteous women, including Proverbs 31, none of those concepts are even mentioned. A Proverbs 31 woman is busy helping her husband become successful. She is too busy being productive to spend time being his conscience. In our culture, we have lost a clear understanding of what constitutes a virtuous woman. We have accepted the modern concept of the “spiritual” woman, circulating in the realm of religious power, and have forgotten that God does not see them in this same “glorious” light. What we think is spiritual, God labels “Jezebel.” “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD (Isa. 55:8).”

In order to become a righteous woman, reaping the benefits of having our man adore us, we must follow God’s principles of womanhood and totally reject the Jezebel tendency. God laid down a few simple rules that must be followed because they are consistent with our feminine nature and the nature of men. It was Ruth’s virtuous and humble, yet feminine, bold example that caused Boaz to love and admire her. It was Esther’s submission to this principle that won the King’s love and appreciation for her as a woman and as his queen. These women showed themselves womanly and lovable in the midst of extreme circumstances. God honored them with favor from the men in their lives.

Dominance and control are always masculine. It is a hormonal thing. It is the way God designed male nature. It is important for a woman to understand that she has to be feminine (devoid of dominance and control) in order for her man to view her as his exact counterpart and thus respond to her protectively, with love and gentleness.

God designed us, so he knows what our husbands need in order to function properly in their roles as men who cherish the woman in their life. By nature, men need honor (this includes not questioning their decisions). They need respect (treated as if they are wise). They need reverence (daily admired as a man who is accomplishing great things). They need to be accepted for who and what they are, just like they are. Men need to feel they are in command and doing a good job.

An important part of man is a God-given, natural instinct to bring his wife pleasure. If a woman is to be greatly treasured she will choose to find pleasure in the way the man presents himself and his care. All these traits are basic masculine needs. We were created as a helpmeet to the man we married, fulfilling who and what he is. This is God’s will for us as women. When we as women obey God by responding to the needs of our husband, we are worshipping and honoring God. “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man (1 Cor. 11:9).”

God created you to fulfill your husband’s basic masculine needs. Only in that role will you find peace and cause your man to respond to you in loving adoration. This role of submission is totally feminine. It is the exact counterpart for his masculine needs. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Gen 2:18).”

A woman who criticizes her husband for watching too much TV no longer honors him. When a woman tries to control areas of their life together because she thinks she is right, she is usurping authority over him, and lording over him. A depressed, discontented woman, who feels that her husband does not meet her needs, is dishonoring God.

Hurt feelings are a way to control. Silence and emotional retreat are ugly, destructive ways to control both your husband and your children. Anger, sickness, exhaustion, and even fear are all used to control those you care about. Some women control their husband by having an intense spiritual hunger. Jezebel comes in many disguises.

There are many various and subtle ways to control and direct your husband. One of the ways to take control is to tell your husband that you want him to be the spiritual leader in the home and then let him know that you are waiting to follow. You can lead from behind just by clearing your throat at the right moment. Many nice homeschooling moms are the spiritual leaders in their homes. They play the masculine role spiritually.

How this must grieve the Holy Spirit of God. Often the excuse is that we cannot serve two masters, and since our husband is carnal, we have to take the higher ground. Like Eve, we are so deceived. “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression (1 Tim 2:14).”

A man cannot cherish a strong woman who has expressed her displeasure with him and is holding out until he fulfills her ideal. You say he should have Christ’s love. Is that what you want? Do you want your husband to have to seek supernatural power just to find a way to love you? What most men cherish in their wives is the memory when love was fun and free, with no demands—the time when she smiled at him with a sweet, girlish, “I think you are wonderful” look. She was so feminine then, so much the woman. It was a time when he wanted to hold her just because she was his, a time when he wanted to give her everything. A vague memory keeps him hoping.

He is as disappointed in love as you are, maybe more. He is just as lonely. He just fills up his loneliness doing things that will distract him from the reality of the emptiness he knows is there but does not know how to fix. His help meet is not pleased with him. He is a loser.

The very first command God gave to a woman was, “Thy desire shall be unto thy husband and he shall rule over thee” (Gen. 3:16). Is your desire toward your husband? Do you desire him as a man? Do you live to please him? Does he rule over you? This is God’s will.

Being a Jezebel is an active role—actively controlling, actively doing our own thing. Being a Ruth or an Esther is just as active. It is a decision we make hundreds of times each day as we choose to joyfully honor our husbands.

God’s reward is without measure. Men are like clay in the hands of a woman whom they can trust with their hearts. A man, lost or saved, responds to a woman who honors him. When a woman looks to her husband with a face that is full of laughter and delight, he will look forward to being with her. If her voice speaks words of thanksgiving and joyful appreciation of him, he will want to listen to her. If her actions are full of service and creativity, and if she has goodwill towards him, he will be drawn to her as a bee is to honey. This kind of lady is altogether feminine. She is what God created and gave to Adam.

Deep in our heart we all want the same thing. We all want to be loved and cherished. We all cry out with our utmost being to be treasured in the heart of our husbands. It is the greatest honor on earth to know your husband is thrilled that you are his woman. It passes all of earth’s blessings to feel his gaze upon you and know that you are his greatest gift, his most prized possession, his best friend, his favorite pastime, his only chum, and his delight as a lover. It is a great joy to know that he is actually proud you are his. It is not remembering birthdays, opening the door of a car, or other silly customs that we crave, it is the knowledge that he is totally taken with us. We want him to want us. We simply want to be loved. It is God’s perfect will for our husbands to love us. It is God’s perfect will for us to honor, obey and reverence our husbands. God’s way works. If what you are doing this year has not worked, why not go God’s way?

For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. 
1 Corinthians 11:7-9

*Picture Source

A Wonderful Way to Spend Childhood

A Wonderful Way to Spend Childhood

According to this article, “Roughly 25% of Americans live like vampires, hardly ever venturing outside and living through their computer and television screens while doing all their shopping through Amazon, according to The Washington Times.

“Peter Foldbjerg, the head of daylight energy and indoor climate at Velux, a window manufacturing company, said an increasing number of Americans do not get adequate outdoor time, including fresh air and sunlight.

“’We are increasingly turning into a generation of indoor people where the only time we get daylight and fresh air midweek is on the commute to work or school,’ said Foldbjerg.”

For about 30 hours a few days ago, I had three of my grandchildren stay at my home while their parents had a little bit of a break to enjoy their anniversary. I picked them up in the afternoon and had them until the next night. When they woke up in the morning, I fed them breakfast and they played contentedly in the home until “papa” woke up.

Around 9:00 am, they asked if they could go outside in front to play. I was outside in front with them until 6:00 pm! It was an absolutely beautiful day and it’s amazing what fun children have outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Children need a lot of large muscle movement. They don’t need TV or iPad watching. There is a huge advantage to living out in the country where children have a lot of room to run, climb, and play. It’s not only good for their body but for their mind too.

For the first few hours, it was just my grandchildren playing with various things we have for them to play with. Around noon, a neighborhood girl came home from school and played. I always like my grandchildren to play where I can see and hear them.

By mid-afternoon, there were probably eleven children out in front riding bikes, scooters, skateboards, and a battery-operated car. The roads were kind of blocked off so the cars would clearly see the children. The children would all yell out “CAR!” so the children would get out of the street and the cars would creep slowly by and the people would wave to us.

Around 5:30, my neighbor across the street yelled out to me, “You get the greatest grandma award!” He had seen that I was outside all day with the children. Most of my neighbors came out for one thing or another and remarked how much they loved seeing children all playing outside together since it’s a rare site to see these days.

This is how childhood should be! When Ken and I take walks every day around our neighborhoods, it’s rare that we see even a few children playing outside. When I was a child, we played outside until the sun set!

I realize that most of you don’t have time to sit outside for nine hours a day and watch your children play but how about an hour or two? I did this when my children were young and we all loved it. The children would all play and the mothers would chat. Just by me sitting out in front of my yard with my grandchildren, many other children and even adults joined us.

When I put my grandchildren to bed at night, they conked out! They were happy and exhausted. I fed them healthy food for meals, made them make their bed and clean up after themselves, and let them play. What a wonderful way to spend childhood, after they do their schoolwork and chores, of course!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
James 1:17

Are You Dressed in Foolishness or Faith?

Are You Dressed in Foolishness or Faith?

Written By Judy Turner

Most of us take some effort to look presentable when we are going to be around other people. We strive to wear the best that we have to church, family celebrations, get togethers with friends, or special occasions. What about what your soul, emotions, and your character are clothed with?

Proverbs 31 speaks of a virtuous woman who is “clothed with strength and honor and laughs at the days to come.” Is this what others notice when they first meet you? Are you known for a quiet and confident trust in the Lord when you are in the midst of challenging trials?

Do you try to think logically when the unexpected happens? Are you known for your wisdom or your worries? Are you “dressed” in foolishness or faith? Do you rely heavily on the promises of the Lord, or do you frequently have “meltdowns”?

Scripture tells us about “the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness.” Do you praise the Lord often? Do you speak about what is good, what you like, and what you are thankful for? What we dwell on and what we say reflects our heart or our persona, just as clothes reflect our style.

Carefully choose what you wear today! Put on a thankful heart. Wear confidence that your Lord, the judge of the earth, will do right. Radiate confidence that the Lord has “this” and will work it out for best. Walk in wisdom. Focus on the Word of God and His promises. Then you, like the Proverbs 31 woman, can “laugh at the days to come.”

Your Lord has your back. Your Lord gives wisdom when you ask in faith. Your Lord is good and worthy to be praised. Your Lord is faithful! Let others see Him in you!

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Proverbs 31:26

A Culture Killing Disease

A Culture Killing Disease

There were thousands of angry people with me because of my post about women destroying the medical profession. Many female doctors made comments and told me how they are raising wonderful children even though they are working full time as doctors. Many told me they were Christians and doing what God has “called” them to do.

Here are a few of the comments that were made. (Yes, I received many, many comments about being old-fashioned, going back to gender roles and inequality, etc. but I didn’t publish them since my blog isn’t a contentious blog but a teaching blog.)

“I don’t understand the line of thinking that says men are created to be all manner of things, with all manner of skill, temperament and talent. They can do whatever they like as far as vocation is concerned. Yet women, despite having all sorts of gifts, temperaments, talents and abilities, all get the same job.”

“Have you watched The Handmaid’s Tale? You really should. Not all women want to stay at home and be baby factories. Perhaps you can celebrate that fact and appreciate that women have the ability to do what they want.”

“Women cut back to part time more often than men because it is still more socially acceptable for a woman to do so (not because of anything in the Bible). Once society gets over your ancient gender roles, everything will equal out and you will see a more equal number of stay at home/part time dads.”

They don’t understand that God made men and women differently. This is what Dennis Prager said is wrong with universities today. Students go into them knowing the difference between male and female and come out not knowing the difference. Look at a male and female’s body. They are different. One is created to bear and nurse children. The other is bigger, stronger, and is created to do what it takes to provide for his family. Simple nature shows us what role each one plays but our mixed up, evil culture no longer can see what’s clearly before them.

I just read an article that men today are able to have sex freely with many available women so they get their fill of sex but end up lonely and alone. It’s not satisfying in the end. It’s because God didn’t create men to do this. They were made to cleave to one wife all of their days and protect and provide for them while their wife stays at home and cares for their home and children if they are blessed with them. This is God’s perfect plan and it’s clearly visible if one wants to open their eyes and see.

My dad was a doctor. He didn’t want any of his daughters to marry doctors because it’s an extremely stressful job with long hours. This is why many female doctors can’t work full time. They weren’t created for this kind of stress and long hours away from home. They were created for home and being with their children if they have them. Yes, being home full time with children can be stressful and exhausting but there are breaks, rest times, and times to simply watch the children play in the backyard. It’s not even close to the stress of being a doctor.

By the way, I wasn’t the one that made up the statement that women taking over the medical profession is destroying the medical profession. The article I linked to stated this by facts of what is happening. When more women than men are in medical schools, something is very, very wrong.

This means fewer women being help meets to their husbands (marriages falling apart), fewer mothers home full time with their children (children are much more likely to be insecure and unstable without their mothers home full time with them), and fewer men with jobs that provide good livings for their families (men need work to provide). Society has suffered deeply without mothers in their homes caring for those in their communities, elderly parents, and their own children. Society keeps getting worse not better! We can’t expect good results from leaving God’s perfect paths for us.

“God created mankind ‘in His image…male and female He created them.’ The image and glory of God on this planet is tied to our human masculinity and femininity. Anything Satan can do to bend, blur, or deface that image is a big-time coup for him. So he is at it with a vengeance today, in your lifetime and mine.

“Could you pause with me a moment on this page? My heart’s desire at this juncture is to convey the gravity of this matter to you. These gender battles in the cultural wars are not ‘faddish.’ They are not a ‘minor distraction’ or a ‘cultural hiccup’ to be lightly regarded or blandly accommodated. Here me, please, when I say that these issues represent a rock-bottom, down-in-the-trenches, gut-tearing attack on our society’s vital organs.

“To tinker with the image of God, represented in male and female, is to slap God in the face. This is something more than politics, economics, social studies, or some bleeding-heart, feel-good crusade for ‘equality.’ This is a culture-killing disease. It also represents an ancient, long-simmering attack on the very person of God and His loving intentions for His children.” (Stu Weber from “Four Pillars of a Man’s Heart.”)

Feminism is a culture-killing disease. It’s a blatant attack on God. It’s that simple and that destructive. It fights for “rights” that are opposed to God’s plan for men and women. It has blurred the lines between male and female. It has made women angry and jealous towards men and now we have a war on men by women. It can’t get any worse than this.

Yes, expect to be hated if you speak the truth about God’s roles for men and women but it’s okay. There are a few who listen and know in their hearts that God’s path for them is right and good. They see the destructive influence that feminism has had on their own lives.

Stop allowing Satan’s lies to ruin your marriage, children, and home. Go home and love and serve your family if at all possible. This is God’s will for you. Don’t allow the enemy of your soul to have his way in your life because his aim is to kill, steal, and destroy.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Just Eve Was Deceived?

Just Eve Was Deceived?

There are two reasons given why women cannot teach nor be in authority over men in the churches. “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence” (1 Timothy 2:12). The first reason is that Adam was created first. “For Adam was first formed, then Eve” (1 Timothy 2:13).

God created the men to be the ones in authority all throughout the Bible. The main prophets, the priests, the patriarchs, and the apostles were all men. When Israel wanted a leader, God gave them a king. “As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths” (Isaiah 3:12).

Yes, God used women in amazing ways all throughout the Bible, even having a female judge at one time. Queen Esther helped saved her people from death even though she wasn’t in a position of authority. I have known some amazing women in positions of authority such as school principals. But I do know their home lives and marriages suffered. We were never created to do it all as young women are told today.

God is very specific about men having authority in marriage and in the churches. There’s no guessing game to this. The husbands are head over their wives and the wives are to live in submission to their husbands and the elders and deacons (those in authority in the churches) are to be the “husband of one wife.”

The second reason given for women not teaching nor being in authority over men in the churches is that Eve was deceived. “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” (1 Timothy 2:14). I have just been reading a good book about how feminism has affected women and the author believes that this verse does not mean that all women are more easily deceived than men.

If this were the case, then why have this verse as the second reason that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men? Perfect, sinless Eve who walked in the Garden with God was deceived, therefore, women aren’t allowed to be in authority over men nor teach them BUT it doesn’t mean that all women are more easily deceived. This makes no sense! This verse wouldn’t be in here if women aren’t more easily deceived.

Women’s nature is more emotional and sensitive than men’s. God created us this way to be home and raise children. We are the softer sex. Men are typically more skeptical and questioning. I sure know this is the case between my husband and me. I am way more easily deceived than my husband. I believe this is a huge reason why God has men in authority positions instead of women and to not believe this makes the second reason for women not being in authority invalid.

This doesn’t make men better than women. There is no better than or worse than between males and females. God simply created us differently for different roles. The serpent knew that Eve was more easy to deceive than Adam and this is why he went to Eve. Knowing that we are more easily deceived should make us more reliant on our husband’s judgement, especially if we are married to a godly man.

The reason this author doesn’t believe that this verse means women are more easily deceived is because then it would mean women can’t teach children. No, this isn’t the case! Women sit under male teaching in the churches and learn from them. If they have a question, then they ask their husbands at home. They should also spend daily time in God’s Word growing in the wisdom and the knowledge of God. Then they will be fully prepared to teach their children all about the Lord at home but for them to be in authority positions over others and teaching the Bible hasn’t been given to them. It was given to men. The Bible is very clear about this. Older women have been given the ministry to younger women to teach them the ways of biblical womanhood as spelled out in Titus 2:4, 5.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4, 5

Happy Mother’s Day!

Happy Mother’s Day!

Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

 She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.

She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness.

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.

 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.

 Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the Lord, she shall be praised.

 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:25-31

Husbands Lead By Serving Their Wives?

Husbands Lead By Serving Their Wives?

Recently, I heard a very well known preacher teach that husbands lead their wives by serving them. He spoke nothing about the submission of a wife to her husband, only that a husband should serve his wife. Is this what the leadership of a husband means? Lindsay Harold wrote up a great article about this so I am sharing it with you!

A lot of times, even in complementarian circles where people agree that husbands are to be the leaders of their homes, they then eviscerate that belief by saying that a man leads by serving his wife.

While serving one another is an important part of marriage, it is not correct to say that a husband should lead by serving his wife. That’s just a back door to have the wife in charge. If you tell a man to lead by serving his wife, what you’re telling him is that he has to make his wife happy as his first priority. When she wants or needs something, he should serve her, and then call that leadership. But in saying this, you’ve made the desires of the wife the gold standard of what needs to be done. In order to be a “leader,” he has to do things for her that she wants. So she’s really in charge. She’s setting the goals.

Saying a man leads by serving has it all backwards. The truth is, a man serves his wife by leading her. He may serve her in other ways too, but leadership (real leadership) is a service to his wife that she needs him to perform. Every relationship needs leadership, and being the leader of a marriage is good for a man and good for a woman. The wife needs her husband to lead in order to be happy, fulfilled, protected, and in proper relationship with her husband. That’s the way God designed it.

So let’s do away with this silly nonsense of leading by serving. Leadership means setting goals and then pursuing those goals and giving instructions to those under that authority, even if those under that leadership do not like or agree with them. Ideally, that leadership will be kind and gentle rather than harsh. Ideally, the wife will agree with the goals of her husband. But the goals are set by the leader. Whoever is setting the goals is the leader.

We need men to step up and lead – really lead – in their homes and families. To do that, we have to stop telling them they lead by doing what their wife wants or what she is comfortable with. Instead, we need to be telling them that leading is serving their wives. She needs him to actually lead, and so do our families, our churches, and our society.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:22-24

Women are Destroying the Medical Profession

Women are Destroying the Medical Profession

Feminists cheer that more women than men are entering medical schools but they have short-term vision. This is devastating to the medical profession since women have a much greater chance of only working part-time while men work full-time. Men were created to be the supporters of families and women were not. Women are taking men’s positions in medical schools that should belong to men.

This country needs more mothers at home full time raising their own children than it needs female doctors. Men can be doctors but they can’t be mothers. Only mothers can be mothers and NO ONE can replace a mother in a child’s life.

According to an article from the UK, part-time women doctors are creating a timebomb. In 2017, more women than men enrolled in medical schools. This is tragic not only for health care but for children! We can’t expect to disobey God’s clearly stated word (that women be keepers at home) and expect good to come out of it.

“A 15-year follow-up of doctors after graduation showed that on average, after career breaks and part-time working are taken into account, women work 25 per cent less than their male counterparts. The problem, put starkly, is that the average male medical graduate will work full time, while the average female won’t. This means that the state will get more man-hours out of a male graduate than a female graduate.

“The problem is starting to affect both hospitals and primary care. Some 38 per cent of female consultants work part-time compared to five per cent of the men. Two thirds of GPs are women, with a large proportion opting for less than full time work. As medicine becomes a female-majority profession, this is only going to get worse.”

No long-term good comes out of women leaving their homes. Nothing. Satan convinced women to spend years and a lot of money getting a higher education and then a degree. When they finally have children, they still have their God-given instinct to care for their children, thus they are in conflict with what they were convinced about concerning their career and being with their children. Their children are the ones who suffer and society is suffering too.

Some women will proudly tell me that their sons have married doctors or that their daughters are doctors. Silently, I grieve for the lack of grandchildren they will most likely have because of this decision. No, I don’t rejoice with them. I would rather tell others about the grandchildren my children are raising and that their mothers are home with them full time. I would rather tell them that my children valued their children over careers. God values the job of keepers at home and raising children over careers for women so we should too.

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

The Biblical Feminists Among Us

The Biblical Feminists Among Us

Biblical Feminists will admit that they are Christians and that Jesus Christ died for their sins and rose again but they don’t believe in the inerrancy of the Word of God, especially when it comes to issues concerning women. They claim the verses for women are cultural or the original Greek means something other than the Bible clearly states. Biblical Feminists are the ones who have the hardest time with what I write and slander me the most.

They don’t want to believe that women are to submit to and obey their husbands because this always leads to abuse nor do they want to be considered “less than” their husbands although they have no problems with obeying a boss. No, they believe in mutual submission so then, if they believe in mutual submission, are they doing their part and submitting to their husbands even if their husbands don’t submit to them? I doubt it.

They believe that young women being told to be “keepers at home” doesn’t exclude full-time careers, putting their children in daycare, and whatever else it takes for women to pursue their dreams and goals apart from being home. They will give you a long laundry list of “career” women in the Bible.

They don’t believe that children are a blessing. They believe in birth control and many are even fine with abortions since women should be able to have control over their own bodies and our world is overpopulated.

They don’t believe in the permanence of marriage even if the marriage is difficult. On my post about divorce the other day, the Biblical Feminists got all riled up because one of them made the first comment about physical abuse and how divorce should be allowed for it. I shouldn’t even have published it because I knew they were trying to trap me in it (They even wrote Ken to tattle on me) but this is how I responded:

“I understand your sentiment, Monique, but it’s not biblical for a woman to divorce her husband because he is physically abusing her. Yes, she needs to seek help and may even have to get the police involved, then separate for a time until he repents of his evil deeds, but there is nothing in God’s Word that says this is a reason for divorce. We must always base our opinions and actions upon the Bible and not what we feel is right.”

They persistently and aggressively tell me how horrible I am to hold this view. When I ask for a verse that supports a woman divorcing over physical abuse, they can’t give me one. They then accuse me of telling women who are being beat up by their husbands to stay with them when I have never supported this. If a woman is being physically abused and lives in fear for her life because of her husband and decided to divorce him, I wouldn’t blame her but I can’t support a divorce for this reason from scripture.

Everything I teach, I want to have support from the Word of God and not what I feel or think is best. Biblical Feminists don’t do this. They are the deciders of what is right and best because they falsely think they know better than God.

I believe in spanking a disobedient child. They will call this abuse and teach that spankings will cause children to grow up to be violent. Most of their views are completely opposite of what the Bible actually teaches.

They believe women can be preachers/leaders/teachers in the churches. Women don’t have to be quiet in the churches and it isn’t a shame for women to speak in the churches. No, women are different now and that was only cultural, they say, so they promote women preachers and cheer them on while supporting their views with all of the women preachers in the Bible. (There isn’t one.)

They will use this one verse to wipe out all of the verses directed to women: “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither bond nor free, there is neither male nor female: for ye are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:28). No, this verse doesn’t negate all of the verses for women. It gives the Good News that we can all have eternal life if we believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior.

I would rather err on the side of believing and obeying the Word just as it is written instead of trying to manipulate it to say what I want it to say. I trust God. I trust that He knows what is best. I am not a Biblical Feminist and I will never support how they interpret Scripture. If you don’t like what the Bible has to say about women, I am not the woman you want to learn from.

All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works.
2 Timothy 3:16, 17

Woman’s Desire and Man’s Rule

Woman’s Desire and Man’s Rule

Your desire shall be to your husband, and he shall rule over you.
Genesis 3:16

Men can easily rule over women because they are much bigger and stronger than women and they have throughout the centuries. This desire by men to dominate women is due to the fall and sin entering the world. Because of this, feminism blames all of the evils of culture on men even though we live in a culture that has given women more rights than any other culture that has ever existed.

We now have the term “marital rape” which was never used up until recently. On most college campuses, men are held in disdain.“Patriarchal” is evil in feminists’ mind and forget about using the word “submission” since they falsely believe this always leads to abuse. In feminists’ pursuit of wanting to take control away from men, they have decided they want to become men, yet they hate men. Go figure.

“He shall rule over thee, is but God’s command, Wives, be subject to your own husbands. If man had not sinned, he would always have ruled with wisdom and love; if the woman had not sinned, she would always have obeyed with humility and meekness. Adam laid the blame on his wife; but though it was her fault to persuade him to eat the forbidden fruit, it was his fault to hearken to her” (Matthew Henry’s Commentary).

All women’s natural inclination is to wrest control from the men who are stronger than them. This is why Eve ate the forbidden fruit. She wanted to be in control and rebelled against her husband and God. This is why feminism began and unfortunately, we have all inherited this trait. We must be aware of it and fight against it. Don’t allow your controlling nature to control you or others since no one enjoys being controlled, especially your husband.

“This is evidently a piece of that retributive justice which meets us constantly in the administration of God. The woman had taken the lead in the transgression. In the fallen state, she is to be subject to the will of her husband. ‘Desire’ does not refer to sexual desire in particular (Genesis 4:7). It means, in general, ‘turn,’ determination of the will. ‘The determination of thy will shall be yielded to thy husband, and, accordingly, he shall rule over thee.’ The second clause, according to the parallel structure of the sentence, is a climax or emphatic reiteration of the first, and therefore serves to determine its meaning. Under fallen man, woman has been more or less a slave. In fact, under the rule of selfishness, the weaker must serve the stronger. Only a spiritual resurrection will restore her to her true place, as the help-meet for man” (Barnes’ Notes).

Christianity is what has given value and worth to women, not feminism. You can see in many countries the ill-treatment of women by men but Jesus came and spoke to women who were forbidden to talk with and told them to “go and sin no more.” He healed sick women and saved an adulterous woman from being stoned. He was born of a woman and made sure his mother was well cared for after His death. He was crucified and rose again for women AND men so their sins would be paid in full and all who believe can have eternal life.

The term “help meet” is a valued position that God created from the beginning of time. All Christian marriages should be defined by a husband and his help meet, not as a husband and his slave as many want to twist and subvert the word submission. A wife’s willful submission to her husband brings order and beauty to a marriage as was God’s original intention for marriage.

“… he shall rule over thee, with less kindness and gentleness, with more rigor and strictness: it looks as if before the transgression there was a greater equality between the man and the woman, or man did not exercise the authority over the woman he afterwards did, or the subjection of her to him was more pleasant and agreeable than now it would be; and this was her chastisement, because she did not ask advice of her husband about eating the fruit, but did it of herself, without his will and consent, and tempted him to do the same” (Gill’s Commentary).

Even before the Fall, Eve was created to be Adam’s help meet. There was nothing written about her being in submission to him at this time but we must remember that there was no sin, therefore, there was no arguing, wanting her own way, angry outbursts, control issues, manipulation tactics, or any of the things that tear apart marriages today. Adam didn’t need to be “over” Eve since she was most likely by his side helping him with whatever he needed help with and she did it without complaint. He was her leader. But once sin entered the world, so did all of these ugly, selfish traits and God knew that there needed to be one “ruler” and the ruler He chose was the one that wasn’t deceived.

“The determination of thy will shall be yielded to thy husband…Among the Hebrews the condition of the female sex was one of distinct subordination, though not of oppression, and certainly not of slavery, as it too often has been in heathen and Mohammedan countries. Christianity, while placing woman on the same platform with man as regards the blessings of the gospel (Galatians 3:28), explicitly inculcates her subordination to the man in the relationship of marriage” (Ephesians 5:22; Colossians 3:18; 1 Peter 3:1) (Pulpit Commentary).

Some of the old commentaries use the word “subordination” but I don’t like it nor use it since God’s Word never uses it. God uses the word “submission” or “subjection” not subordination as if women were of lesser value than men. Subordination means “the state of being inferior to another” (although women are clearly inferior to men in strength, might, and determination since it is men who have built and invented almost everything!). Submission means “the act of submitting; the act of yielding to power or authority.” It’s a voluntary act that a wife does towards her husband in living in submission to him.

It is not true believers in Christ Jesus who abuse and oppress their wives and consider them as slaves as many unbelievers have throughout the centuries including many countries today. Godly men see the beauty and value in women and know that Christ died for them just as He died for them. It is the sin of our culture (pornography, sexual immorality, and immodesty) that has made women into objects, not Christianity.

“Created for the man, the woman was made subordinate to him from the very first; but the supremacy of the man was not intended to become a despotic rule, crushing the woman into a slave, which has been the rule in ancient and modern Heathenism, and even in Mahometanism also – a rule which was first softened by the sin-destroying grace of the Gospel, and changed into a form more in harmony with the original relation, viz., that of a rule on the one hand, and subordination on the other, which have their roots in mutual esteem and love.” (Keil and Delitsche Biblical Commentary).

God’s perfect plan for men and women is clearly defined in His Word. The man is the head and the woman is in submission, not subordination, to his leadership in marriage. No, it will never be a perfect union since no man or woman is perfect but with Christ’s power flowing through them, they can have a good, strong marriage until death do they part.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:22-24

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