Did My College Education Make Me a Better Wife or Mother?

Did My College Education Make Me a Better Wife or Mother?

After graduating from high school, I went to college for five and a half years to get my teaching credential. After receiving my teaching credential, I taught three and a half years before I came home full time to be with my children. Looking back, can I think of any way that my college education helped me be a better wife or mother; my most important roles in life? No.

It didn’t teach me how to be a more submissive and obedient wife. It didn’t teach me to be my husband’s help meet. It didn’t teach me how to raise my children. It didn’t teach me how to love my husband and children. It didn’t teach me to be modest, discreet, sober, or good. It didn’t teach me to be a good homemaker or fix nourishing food. It didn’t teach me any of these.

“First of all, as you look at this list (Titus 3:4, 5), the first thing that strikes me is that it is very counter-cultural. It is not a politically correct list. If you think about it in light of our culture, this is really a radical curriculum. It’s God’s way. In fact, you will not see these subjects as part of the curriculum of the women’s studies program of almost any university in this country. You have a lot of women’s studies programs, but these are not the things being taught in those programs. This is a biblical program, but it really runs counter to the whole direction and drift of the culture.

We’ve seen what the world’s curriculum does in the lives of women and how it leaves them disordered and dysfunctional and distressed and in depression. I think it’s time we try God’s way. We see what can happen when we begin to educate and train women in the ways of God.” (Revive Our Hearts)

To tell you the truth, I can’t remember anything that I learned in college. I didn’t like any of my classes. I can’t remember any of my professors. I do remember a chapel service where Elisabeth Elliot spoke at and I loved listening to her. I love the friends I made at college and am still friends with today even though we all live far from each other. I met Ken my senior year but few of my friends met their spouses at college.

Am I a smarter mother because I went to college? I don’t think so. I have studied the Word on my own for many years and learned from godly preachers and teachers. I have read many books on marriage, homemaking, and child raising. I scour the Internet for good things to read. I am self-motivated to always be learning but what I learned in college didn’t interest me at all.

The difference between attending college now verses back then is dramatic. My college was a Christian college and it costs $3600 per year which included room, board, and tuition. No college costs this little now and student debt loans are a heavy burden on our country and the students who have graduated and have to pay them back. The majority of them never use their degree for their jobs and have no ability to pay back their student loans.

In order to be good wives and mother, you don’t need a college education. If you want one, make sure you can do it without a lot of debt. Even then, most colleges and universities teach so many things that are contrary to the Word of God that I wouldn’t recommend many of them. The good ones are very expensive. Our culture idolizes education. God doesn’t so I don’t; for the wisdom of this world is foolishness to God. There are a lot better ways to use your single years between graduating high school and marriage besides going to college, if you choose to do so like getting a job and saving money for your future family or ministering in local pregnancy crisis centers or in your church. (I made a YouTube yesterday for unmarried women who want to be wives and mothers.)

Pray about it and seek the Lord for wisdom. Just because everyone else is doing something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.
Colossians 2:8

Here are two great articles on the topic of educating our children:

Why the Public School System is a Failure

What If Everything We Think About School is Wrong?

Bragging About Messy Homes

Bragging About Messy Homes

Women brag about messy homes today because they have “more important” things to do. They need “me time” and time to pursue their hobbies. They need to play with their children often and take them many places for different experiences while neglecting their home duties. These are all considered badges of honor and praised. I see it consistently in younger women while having a clean and tidy home is mocked, as if it’s not important. God thinks it’s important. This is why He commands that women be “keepers at home” and work hard in their home by NOT eating the bread of idleness.

God is a God of beauty and order and our homes should reflect this, women. “Order and usefulness and purpose bring satisfaction, but God desired that there should be beauty in His work” (A.W.  Tozer). Way too many women have no idea how to keep clean and tidy homes anymore. My best friend’s home was always clean and tidy despite being a widow with three active young sons to care for. She cleaned as she went and worked hard at home. I never heard her talk about “me time” or her hobbies. She knew her ministry was in her home and with her sons. She wanted them to grow up in a calm and beautiful environment. Clean homes are beautiful, even if they are not expensive homes.

Katie Schuermann wrote an article called 10 Reasons I Still Keep a Clean Home Despite Everyone Insisting It’s Stupid. And of course they do because we, as a culture, have drifted so far away from God’s principles. “In an age when messes are touted as holy and clutter is extolled as the sign of productive genius, I find myself embarrassed by my organized closets and clean countertops. Who but a self-conceited nelly would bother folding dish towels before putting them in the drawer? Only a petty dolt would routinely organize her pantry, right? And what kind of cold-hearted woman asks her children to make their beds before breakfast? 

Keeping a clean, orderly home was once the hallmark of happy domesticity, but now, messiness is next to godliness. A littered living room floor is certain proof of family fealty on Facebook, and every good blogging mother knows that laughing and playing with her children is more important than wiping down the bathroom sink.”

Her mother taught her to be clean and tidy. My mother did the same thing. Every Saturday morning, she had a list of chores she expected us to finish and I remember many Saturdays out in the yard weeding. Once she broke her leg badly and had to be in a large cast for several months, so we had to all pitch in and help a lot. Now, when my grandchildren come over, I insist they clean up all of their messes before I take them home. They made the mess, they clean it up.

Clean homes are more peaceful. Cluttered homes mean cluttered minds. Declutter your homes! It’s almost impossible to keep a home clean and tidy with a lot of clutter. My oldest daughter has moved a lot in her six years of marriage but they both like it because it keeps them from gathering too much junk. They are ruthless when it comes to decluttering. They love to have a home that is clean, tidy, and uncluttered. I love these kinds of homes, along with some beautiful daffodils to brighten them up!

If you are looking for an easy and very effective way to clean your home without toxic chemicals and simply with water, please check out this YouTube by Linda and how easy cleaning glass, mirrors, and windows are with Norwex without leaving any streaks left behind! Norwex has amazing products and makes cleaning super easy! I made a YouTube about my Norwex but Linda is much better and more professional, plus she shows you how to use all of their products. If you want to order Norwex in the USA, check out Amber’s site. Amber is great to work with and gets your products to you right away. (The kitchen, body, window, and enviro cloth are my favorites! I make NO profit from any of this. It’s just a great product and I love sharing things I love!)

With all of the time saving appliances and great things to clean with, there is no reason why any fairly healthy woman should have a messy, dirty home. “Your home should express your personality, your values, and your heart. Surround yourself with people and things you love, and you will always feel at home.” -Dorothy Patteron

She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

***Here is a good chore list that is age appropriate to begin teaching your children from the time they are young. They will appreciate it when they are grown up with self-discipline, clean homes, and are hard workers!

Prisoners In Our Homes and Marriages?

Prisoners In Our Homes and Marriages?

Yes, some feminists actually believe women are prisoners in their homes and marriages and they must fight to free us from our bondage. You don’t believe me? Here is what a one woman wrote as she shared one of my handwritten posts:

Yes, women are capable of determining what to do with their lives but for women who love the Lord, they want to make their decisions based upon His Word and not their “wants” as many are doing today. The reason many Christian women who work outside of the home are against you advocating for “gender equality” is because they are wise enough to know that God values women and men equally and they both have worth, but they aren’t the same which is what feminists are fighting for. There are many women who don’t want to be men. They like being women and don’t want sameness. We don’t want you advocating for us, because our homes and marriages aren’t prisons. They are God’s perfect will for us because He created them for us.

Has my marriage and being home full time for 32 years been prison for me? No, it has been a wonderful place to be! I have a husband who works hard so I can stay home. I live in a beautiful home. We raised four great children together. He was a wonderful father to them. When I was sick all of those years, I didn’t have to worry about going out to a job since he was my provider. He fixes many things in the home. He helps me often. Just yesterday, I had the freedom to go and pick up my one year old granddaughter to have for a few hours. I then took her over to my parent’s home for a while. They LOVE being with her. Here is my dad carrying her to the car for me. He never wanted my mom to work outside of the home, so he worked hard for many years so my mom could be home full time with us. He told me yesterday that there’s nothing more valuable than a mother home raising her children.

On Tuesday, a friend of mine called and asked if I wanted to go out to lunch with her so we did. Ken has never minded me going out with friends. He trusts me with money and has never said no to anything I’ve ever wanted to buy since he knows I’m not frivolous. I also have time now that my children are all grown up to teach younger women.

Whereas when I had a career, I had to make sure I was at work on time or I’d get in trouble. The stress level was high in order to perform, please my boss, parents, and do a good job. Many nights, I couldn’t sleep because I had some concerns about the next day and then trying to get through it on little sleep. By the end of the day, I was exhausted and had to spend my weekends cleaning, cooking, and shopping for food. Those years felt much more like a prison to me and all for a paycheck? No, thanks.

So, whoever you are, please don’t advocate for me because the more feminists advocate for “their rights” the worse it gets for women. Cultures haven’t gotten better since the women’s rights movement. They’ve gotten worse because children are no longer being raised by their mothers. In Australia, they are advocating for mothers to not even have the choice to stay home because it hurts their economy – not enough people to tax.

“But once a child goes to school, she argued, opting out of the workforce should no longer be an option.

‘Rather than wail about the supposed liberation in a woman’s right to choose to shun paid employment, we should make it a legal requirement that all parents of children of school-age or older are gainfully employed,’ Le Marquand wrote.”

This is what happens when people “hold the truth in unrighteousness” as the Apostle Paul wrote about in Romans 1. They hate God and refuse to live for Him so they rebel against His ways and everything that is good and right. Women, living in submission and yes, even obedience to your husbands isn’t prison. It’s good and godly. Feminists will gladly live in submission and obey their bosses but falsely belief it’s bondage with their husbands. Do you see the hypocrisy? They leave their homes all day for almighty mammon and their children in the care of others. This, too, is foolishness and chasing after the wind.

Should we be surprised that the single biggest factor that is causing Millennials to abandon their faith is the “breakdown of the family” which feminists are responsible for? No. God created us. He gave us roles to fulfill and He knows what’s best for us, which includes mothers raising their children full time and caring for their husbands and homes.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do,
do all to the glory of God.

1 Corinthians 10:31

Trying to Stay Visible as Keepers at Home

Trying to Stay Visible as Keepers at Home

The feminists movement of the 1960s began because women felt worthless and invisible. Feminists came along and urged mothers to leave their homes, find careers, make money and a name for themselves. An article written by Leslie Loftus attempts to explain the perplexities of trying to be a stay-at-home mom since feminism. “‘Stay-at-home mom’ became the preferred term for opt-out mothers everywhere precisely because it focused on the children. ‘Housewife’ was too focused on homes and husbands. We were defensive enough rationalizing wasting our education for our children—we weren’t even going to attempt rationalizing that for our marriages. We are women. We’ve got this not only without men, but in spite of them.”

Did you follow that? Feminism hasn’t made women’s life easier; it’s made it more complicated. Women have become ashamed to say they are focused on their homes and husbands but God commands they focus upon them. Focusing solely on the children, as many have done today, is destructive in so many ways, especially for the children and if it ruins marriages from neglect. Then there’s the issue of all the years gaining higher education and most likely careers, yet trying to justify all of this time and money spent when staying home full time with the children. Finally, there’s a dig against men as if men aren’t valuable asset to societies and women don’t need them.

Then when the children are all grown up and gone, the mothers feel invisible and have no idea what to do with themselves. (It happens that I just made a YouTube the other day called Spending My Days as an Older Woman without having a career.) I was one who went to higher education – five and a half years after graduating from high school. I also had a career as a school teacher for three and a half years after that until I was able to come home full time. I never thought to find my identity in my higher education or career. All I ever wanted to do in life was to be married and have children, even though I was steeped in the feminist movement. Schooling and careers never held any sway on me.

Our identities shouldn’t be found in what we decide to do any ways. They are found in Christ, who He says we are, and what He tells us to do. He made it easy for us, women, because He carefully spelled it out in His Word. We don’t need to get involved in “mommy wars” or try to find some false sense of “fulfillment” outside of the home that many women are chasing today.

Leslie also wrote,  “An associate dean of Stanford writes a book on how herding our kids in a higher education rat race stunts their growth, and yet we still persist.” I may have to read this book because I agree. Whether people know or love God or not, they are made in His image and He gave us an instruction manual. He has this to say about worldly wisdom: “For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:19).  Not every child, male or female, has to go for higher education! There are way more negatives to it these days than positives.

“I think much of the problem is that we bought into the Second Wave idea that the only valued work is paid work.” She’s right. God doesn’t say that making money is the be all and end all. In fact, He warns against the love of money. No, He commands we be Kingdom investors and what greater thing can there be than investing our lives into our husbands, children, and homes?

Her conclusion: “The narrative is this: if you don’t earn a paycheck—complete with Social Security and federal income tax withholding—then what you do is worthless. We secretly believe we are wasting our educations, and that we will be invisible in motherhood.” This right here summarizes the lies women have been fed for far too long. God created you and He created you to marry, bear children and guide the home. You are not invisible to Him and this is all that matters. You are doing Kingdom work.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.
Matthew 6:19, 20

Feminism Destroys Boys

Feminism Destroys Boys

More and more boys are growing up fatherless due to the women’s movement. All feminists cared about were their “rights” and getting what they wanted no matter the cost. The cost? boys. This is way too high of a cost since boys grow up to be men and all cultures need hard-working men to survive.

In the article Boys in Crisis, Warren Farrell says some powerful things against feminism even though he championed it years ago. Now, however, he sees the harm it has done to boys. Back in my parent’s day, there were very few divorces. Marriages were for life and children grew up with a mother and a father. Girls grew up to stay home and raise their children. Boys grew up to work hard and provide for their families. Now many boys are growing up with single mothers and this is devastating for them. Boys NEED fathers to toughen them up and be men. Men need to work hard and find their purpose in providing for their families. Feminism has stolen this from men.

“Boys with minimal or no father involvement often look to their dads as role models, but because they don’t have much time with their dads (due to divorce), their role models are more ‘straw men’ or ‘straw dads.’ These boys don’t benefit from overnights, hang-out time, and the many hours it takes for boys to bond with their dads, and trust that their feelings won’t be dismissed. Dads tend to build bonds with their sons by, for example, playing games and rough-housing, and then use the resulting bond as leverage for their sons to ‘get to bed on time’ lest there be ‘no playing tomorrow night.’ This boundary enforcement teaches boys postponed gratification.

Boys with minimal or no father involvement more frequently suffer from an addiction to immediate gratification. For example, with minimal or no father involvement there is a much greater likelihood of video game addiction, more ADHD, worse grades in every subject, less empathy, less assertiveness (but more aggression), fewer social skills, more alienation and loneliness, more obesity, rudderlessness, anger, drugs, drinking, delinquency, disobedience, depression and suicide.”

He goes on to explain that Hitler’s army went after the fatherless and so does ISIS. These young men are vulnerable to joining groups that are mean and angry. Divorce causes children to grow up to be angry. I have seen it. Everyone bemoans the plight of single women today but most times it is the women who have chosen to be single. Single motherhood has grown so common in America that demographers now believe half of all children will live with a single mom at some point before the age of 18.” Marriage is no longer valued. Women have sex with men without a marriage commitment. If they do get married, they have no clue how to be a wife who loves and respects her husband. Feminism has destroyed womanhood, too.

There are women in the chat room who have fought for their marriages and won. Some of them had affairs and some of them had husbands who had affairs. Everyone was telling them to get divorced but then they would come into the chat room or get a hold of me somehow and I would encourage them to fight for their marriages using 1 Peter 3:1-6. One young woman had a husband who was in an affair for five years and she was ready to divorce him. He wanted her back but everyone told her she would be crazy to go back to him. We encouraged her to go back and become a godly wife. Now, they are expecting their third baby and having “butterflies” for each other. They love each other deeply.

Another woman went back to her husband after they had both had affairs. Now, he is heavily involved in church and being a strong father to his sons; teaching them the ways of godly manhood. She adores her husband. God is good and bringing beauty out of ashes to those who trust Him. There are other women in there who have fought for and won their husbands back and others who are still in the fight but they aren’t giving up. They know what’s at stake not only for them and their husband’s eternal souls, but for the least of these – their children. Their children need their father and mother under one roof.

Life isn’t about us. It’s about God and living our lives the way He has clearly spelled out in Scripture. He created marriage. He created a husband and a wife to have children and raise them for Him. Everything we do should be for His glory. He is glorified when we live for Him and obey Him.

“Hard, hard marriages that persevere in faithfulness, year in and year out, against all odds, tell a great truth about Christ and his church. The blood-bought new covenant will never be broken — ever. That is what is different. That is what is new about the new covenant over the old covenant. He secures its permanence by his blood. And that newness is why Jesus raised the standards of faithfulness in marriage above the standards of the Old Testament law.” (John Piper)

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9

Appreciating Your Husband’s Strength

Appreciating Your Husband’s Strength

 “Men generally want to help their wives and give them gifts. They like to be the hero, if we will give them the chance. Consider the results of a Candid Camera gag. The setup was a woman walking around with one shoe off and limping badly, barely able to walk. She approached some unsuspecting men and asked them to help her get where she was going. Implicit in her approach was the phrase ‘I can’t walk.’ 

One of the men she approached – a stranger – actually picked her up and carried her to her destination. The Candid Camera crew tried it again with another man, and again the man picked her up and carried her. By the end of the episode fifteen men had carried the woman to her destination. These men were every size, age, shape, and race and all of them had the same response: Rescue a woman who needs help. Is your husband really so different than the men captured by the Candid Camera? You will never know until you admit that you need help.” ~ Laura Doyle

God created men bigger and stronger for a reason. They are to be the protectors and providers for women and children. God specifically told them that they were to “toil in the soil” to make a living. When Israel went to war, the men twenty years and older had to go fight as protectors of their nation.

Now imagine if a woman was limping and unable to walk and went up to another women and said the same thing. Would the women respond in the same way? Would every size, age, shape, and race pick her up and carry to her destination? No, the majority of women aren’t strong enough to carry another woman very far. They would most likely tag down the first man that came along and ask for his help. It’s just the way it is because it’s the way God created us no matter how much feminism fights this. I have never seen a woman pick up her husband to go over the threshold of their new home after their wedding. That would just be wrong!

I have a bad neck and can’t pick up heavy things so Ken helps me a lot around the house with heavy things and things that need to be fixed. When I go to Costco alone and have to pick up anything heavy (over five pounds), I wait for the first guy to come along. Not one of them has ever minded and even seemed to like being helpful. Just yesterday, I bought a lemon tree there and men were willing to help me get it into my cart and into my car, then Ken helped me get it into the house. (Yes, I am going to try to grow a lemon tree in a sunny spot in our home! 🙂 )

Recently, I saw a glimpse of bull riding on TV and wondered why women aren’t bull riders. Well, one second of research and I found my answer.

“A lot of it has to do with the female anatomy and insurance. I’ve met some women who could bronc ride with the best of them . . . . . . . .But they couldn’t have kids. Too much damage to internal reproductive organs from the pounding.

When women WERE allowed to compete, they had a higher injury ratio and a lower recovery rate than men. Due to physical strength differences, women rarely won those events when competing against men, and thus the chances of a payout were slim.

There used to be all girl rodeos that included all the events and/or women’s divisions at regular rodeos. I think there still are in some places and in some associations, but they don’t pay out like men’s divisions and carry greater risks.”

Yes, men’s and women’s physical makeup are different because God created them to compliment each other NOT compete with each other. Appreciate this fact instead of fight it and thank your husband for his strength in helping you with the heavy or difficult things!

Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honor unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
1 Peter 3:7

***In the chat room for the past couple of weeks, we have been sharing what we appreciate and admire about our husbands. We are doing this for 30 days and it’s a wonderful exercise for all of us to dwell on the good and lovely about our husbands. Even some who are married to difficult husbands are sharing and seeing the benefit of dwelling on the good! (Remember, if you want to join the chat room, you must request to join and fill out the application. We have become much more careful about who we accept so it can be a safe place for Christian women.)

The Jezebels Among Us

The Jezebels Among Us

There are many women preachers/teachers/authors out there these days who have “special revelations” from God. God spoke to them, they claim, as if God’s Word isn’t enough for them. Many women love these women preachers, attend their conferences, and believe these Jezebels must be so godly because they “hear from God” even though most of the women in the audience never do, thus they feel inferior and less godly. These Jezebels falsely believe that the words they heard from God are for others so they preach/teach and even write books about Jesus talking to through them. Beware, women!

Hebrews 1:1, 2 is clear that God in times past spoke through prophets but in these last days, He has spoken through Jesus Christ. “God, who at sundry times and in divers manners spake in time past unto the fathers by the prophets, Hath in these last days spoken unto us by his Son, whom he hath appointed heir of all things, by whom also he made the worlds.” Everything we need for life and godliness are in His Word and we are warned at the end of Revelation about anyone adding to or subtracting from His Word (Revelation 22:18, 19).

Revelation 2:20 speaks about this woman Jezebel so I thought I would look up in the commentaries to see what godly men who studied the Word had to say about her. “If the above view be right, the leader of the exorcists is a woman—regarded by her followers as a prophetess, as one with a real message from God; but viewed by the Lord of the churches as a very Jezebel, teaching and seducing the servants of God. For letting her alone, for being timid, paying too much deference to her spiritual pretensions, for failing to see and to show that the so-called ‘deep things’ of these teachers were depths of Satan, the chief minister is rebuked.” (Ellicot’s Commentary)

This description sounds a whole lot like a lot of the women preachers today that we are told to not have anything to do with. God doesn’t want women preaching and teaching the Word of God. He wants men to do this. He gave this ministry to men, not to women. God is clear what He wants women to teach other women; the ways of godly womanhood and these Jezebels never teach about the principles of Titus 2:4, 5 as far as I can see or have heard.

Professing Christians are fawning over every heretic, heresy, heretical book, and blasphemous movie. They will race off to conferences with a speaker lineup that reads like a ‘Who’s Who?’ in false ‘ministers of righteousness.’  The truth floats on by them, but they eagerly reach out, grab, and gush over every falsehood. But they will not rejoice over or promote truth. Further, they refuse to invest any time and energy defending anyone who presents truth when they are under attack.”

Banes’ Notes on the Bible has this to say about Jezebels: “The kind of character, therefore, which would be designated by the term as used here, would be that of a woman who was artful and persuasive in her manner; who was capable of exerting a wide influence over others; who had talents of a high order; who was a thorough advocate of error; who was unscrupulous in the means which she employed for accomplishing her ends; and the tendency of whose influence was to lead the people into the abominable practices of idolatry.”

They act so spiritual. They stand up in front of churches behind pulpits. They are loud and commanding in the way they speak. They make up new words that sound spiritual but are not biblical. They leave their homes, husbands, and children to “minister” to women. You won’t hear them teaching about submitting to and obeying their husbands or being keepers at home. They won’t exhort families and churches to care for widows so they can be home with their children. I doubt they will ever mention that women are to be silent in the churches and if women have questions to ask their husbands at home. Forget about the exhortation that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men. No, these important topics for women will most likely never be heard from these Jezebels and we wonder why the Church is so weak and ineffective today.

Then when older women teach younger women all of these principles of godly womanhood and give Scripture to back up what they teach, they are called names, told how horrible they are, and ridiculed by the many who reject God’s truths. C.H. Fisher wrote: “But they reject God’s messengers. They call them mean-spirited, hateful, ignorant, self-righteous, and even diabolical, for the sole reason that His messengers pierce their fickle and carnal hearts with anointed truth. When they speak harsh rebukes to God’s messengers, they are speaking against Him. Condemning God’s messengers is as condemning the message and the One who sent it. It is as rejecting His righteous authority. There will be judgment for that great sin. The reason is because it not only prevents the individuals who reject it from entering the kingdom of heaven, it deceives and prevents other ones from entering.”

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1 Corinthians 14:34

Judging Working Women Harshly?

Judging Working Women Harshly?

Women get upset with what I write often, especially when it goes against everything they believe. They must remember, I am not teaching anything to be politically correct. I am teaching biblical principles to women who love the Lord and His ways. You must always keep this in mind when you read what I write. I look at the Word and what it says, then teach what I learn from it, not from my opinions.

Nancy Wolgemuth from Revive Our Hearts did a great series on Titus 2 called Adorned. On one radio program, she said this comment:

“But the priority that God places on the home—this passage assumes that young women will be wives and mothers. It’s not saying if they’re wives and mothers or if they decide they want to get married or if they decide they want to have children, then teach them these things.

There’s an assumption that young women will get married and will have children. At the risk of being truly politically incorrect, could I say this is God’s norm? The implication is, as I look at not only this passage but the whole of Scripture, that as a rule young people are to be purposeful about getting married and about having children.”

I love this statement because it’s exactly what I believe is God’s will. God commands the older women to teach the younger women. He doesn’t say, “Teach the married younger women…” or “Teach the younger women who have children…” He clearly states to teach “the younger women…” God wants women to marry, bear children, and guide the home. He created women to be their husband’s help meet. He created men to need a help meet. It’s His perfect plan but many in our culture despise His plan. I know. I hear about it frequently.

I wrote a post titled “A Day, No Years, Without Men” in the Workforce” with this statement that undoubtedly feminists loved; “Men can easily and often better replace every single job that a woman has in the workforce.” Cultures would come to a quick end without men working hard to protect and provide. Cultures would also come to a quick end if women quit bearing children. Both roles are extremely important for a healthy culture to survive. Neither role is more important than the other one because they are both important but of course I received flak from this post. Here’s just one example.

“Lori, I’m going to disagree with you on this one. Not sure if you’ll post my comment but here goes. Last year I had to go to the hospital for a mammogram. During my conversation with the nurse she informed that only females are hired to do her job. I was glad to hear that. I would not want man to perform that procedure on me. Also, I am thankful that I have the choice to go to a female gynecologist. Some women may not care one way or the other, and that’s fine. I just happen to be appreciative that I have the choice of going to a female gynecologist.”

Essentially you are saying that it is more important for you to have female nurses and doctors rather than their children having them home full time with them to raise, care, and train them? Yes, it’s GREAT that you have a female nurse to give mammograms and have as gynecologists but what about their children, if they have them? You see, I am sure God wants women at home because He cares a whole lot more about marriages being strong and children having a mother home full time with them to raise, nurture, and train them than for you to have female nurses and doctors.

I know some female doctors and they regret being one because they aren’t able to be home full time with their children because of the massive debt they are trying to pay back and all the time and energy they put into getting their degree. It’s a very stressful life for them. I had a male gynecologist who delivered my four children and he was fine. He’d delivered many babies and was very competent. Remember, I’m not trying to solve all of the world’s problems. I am simply teaching godly women what God wants me to teach them.

I had a young woman reach out to me who was in medical training and admitted that all she wanted to be was a wife and mother but was so pressured by her parents to be a doctor. I told her she didn’t need to obey her parents as an adult and if she wanted to be a wife and mother, she should end her pursuit of being a doctor and she did. After reading my blog, she knew that this wasn’t the route that the Lord had called her to pursue any longer. She wanted to be home full time with her children, if she was blessed with them one day. If not, she could adopt or do foster care but she wanted to be a mother.

I have also had nurses tell me that they finally decided that it was a whole lot more important for them to be home with their children full time than being a nurse. They knew that they were replaceable as nurses but not as mothers to their children. God created mothers to be home with their children. He’s the One who gave them a womb, breasts, and the emotional makeup to raise children. Generations are now suffering because they were not being raised by their mothers.

She went on to write, “I was a teacher in the public school system and observed on many occasions that women were more suited in certain areas than men. My daughter works with students with disabilities and has the demeanor and temperament to perform her job quite well. She is not married and yet has a fulfilling, enriched life. Thankfully she didn’t marry the man who claimed to be a Christian, but his life has proven to be otherwise. In the meantime, she has to work in order to live and eat. Women like my daughter fall through the cracks in the model you put forth.”

I was a teacher in the public school system for three and a half years. I was replaceable but not as a mother to my children. This is what should matter to most women in the end, their children, but it doesn’t anymore and this is why God wants the older women to teach the younger women to love their children and be keepers at home. Women have lost their way today and have been hoodwinked by the feminists, unfortunately.

Besides, I’m not sure your daughter would fall through the cracks. The Apostle Paul’s instructions to unmarried women is to be holy in body and spirit. Any single, young women who asks me what they should do with their lives, I encourage them to make sure that when a godly man comes into their life, they are prepared to quit whatever they are doing to marry and have children. As an older woman, I continue to teach younger women how to love their future children by being prepared beforehand to be home with them without having any debt.

“Further, Paul the Apostle elevates the single life above marriage, stating he wishes all were like him. So how are women staying at home the best choice for *all* women *all* the time? I know far too many women whose circumstances dictate something other than the prescription you put forth. I’m afraid you would judge these lovely women harshly.”

The Apostle Paul gave his opinion and he was clear about this, “For I would that all men were even as I myself…” (1 Corinthians 7:7) but God created men to need a help meet so most men do indeed “burn” and want and need a help meet. God made them this way. Yes, there are some who indeed want to spend their lives serving the Lord but it’s few. By the way, it’s not my “prescription.” It’s God prescription and if any women feel judged by it, they will have to take it up with the Lord since I didn’t write the Bible!

For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD.
Isaiah 55:8

What Makes a Woman Feminine?

What Makes a Woman Feminine?

Do wearing dresses, skirts, high heels, and long hair make a woman feminine? Many dresses and skirts are a lot more feminine than pants and shorts but are these what make a woman feminine? No. According to God’s Word it has nothing to do with our outward appearance and everything to do with our behavior. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:4). It is the hidden man of the heart; a meek and quiet spirit that makes us feminine!

What is a meek and quiet spirit? It’s so easy to forget because it’s not modeled very many places. Feminism has stolen the meek and quiet spirited women, even in the Church. Our culture spends a lot more time encouraging us to adorn our fading exterior rather than our eternal interior. As godly women, we must care a whole lot more about our inward beauty rather than our outward beauty. The Apostle Paul even encourages this of wives in order to win their disobedient husbands. Yes, most men enjoy their wives looking feminine but what they enjoy even more is having a wife who is gentle, kind, and loving. And you know what God wants us to adorn ourselves with? For after this manner in old time the holy women also, who trust in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands (1 Peter 3:5). We must learn to adorn ourselves by living in subjection to our husbands rather than wasting a lot of time and money beautifying our outward appearance.

What does a meek and quiet spirit look like? I know I sure want to have one. If it’s important to the Lord, it’s important to me.

Barnes’ Notes on the Bible describes a meek and quiet spirit this way: “Of a calm temper; a contented mind; a heart free from passion, pride, envy, and irritability; a soul not subject to the agitations and vexations of those who live for fashion, and who seek to be distinguished for external adorning.”

As you can see, the opposite of having a meek and quiet spirit is feminism! We are called to not allow our emotions and feelings control us, but to control our emotions and feelings instead and make them subject to godliness. A contented mind comes from being satisfied with what the Lord has given us for godliness with contentment is great gain. The way to be freed from passion, pride, envy, and irritability is to be in the Word consistently and allow it to transform us into His image. Let’s not care about the latest fashions as much as we do about modesty and pleasing the Lord in everything. Finally, growing older shouldn’t cause us distress since it is part of God’s magnificent plan for us! Gray hair and wrinkles are fine. I know. I have them and you know what, I can still enjoy life!

Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary defines a meek and quiet spirit this way: “meek, not creating disturbances: quiet, bearing with tranquility the disturbances caused by others. Meek in affections and feelings; quiet in words, countenance, and actions.” Our culture is not quiet. Everyone is yelling for and demanding their “rights” as if they are owed something for doing nothing. Godly women don’t demand anything. They quietly work at home and do what the Lord has called them to do.

I love what Timothy Hammons wrote about the National Day of Women that was just celebrated by many women refusing to show up for work to show the world just how important they are in the workforce. “In honor of National Women’s Day, I would like to praise all the women who forego the world’s call to false importance and choose to live God-honoring lives by staying home, raising their children, and submitting to their husbands as to the LORD.

These are the true women of importance. Instead of seeking their own glory, they seek to serve their children and husbands in all humility. This is what is pleasing to the LORD. They don’t protest. They don’t grandstand for false causes. They know that their true happiness is doing what God has called them to do in being mothers and wives. They know that the most important calling on a woman’s life is the family. They know that they are raising and shaping the minds of the next generation. They are not led astray by the false promises of the world. They know their Savior and follow His direction for their lives.”

Stephen Martin wrote this on my Facebook page yesterday: “A woman who is this way has a strong effect on the masculine spirit of a man. The masculine energy is aggressive and problem solving. It fights opposing masculine energy. But it receives and loves a feminine, cooperative energy. Furthermore, the feminine energy has the ability to subdue the aggression of the masculine. The more aggressive a man is, the more emotional. When the woman allows herself to be subdued, that aggressive energy in the man switches from combat to immense love for the woman.”

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior) of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1 Peter 3:1, 2

“A Day, No Years, Without Men” in the Workforce

“A Day, No Years, Without Men” in the Workforce

A day, no years, without women in the workforce wouldn’t change a thing. Women think they’re invincible in the workforce but they aren’t. Men can easily and often better replace every single job that a woman has in the workforce. Our military would be stronger without women. Our police force would be stronger. Women make these institutions weaker and now we have these “sexual” problems in the military. Duh! This happens when we mix males and females in close quarters for months on ends and far away from home.

Societies would suffer greatly if men decided to take off a day from the workforce and and they would cease to exist if they took off a couple of years. Camille Paglie wrote, “Only a tiny number of women want to enter the trades where most of the nitty-gritty physical work is actually going on—plumbing, electricity, construction. Women have played virtually no role in the erection of those magnificent towers in every major city in the world. It’s men who operate the cranes or set the foundations or wash windows on the 85th floor. It’s men who troop out at 2:00 AM during an ice storm to restore power to neighborhoods where falling trees have brought down live wires. It’s men who mix the stinking, toxic cauldrons to spread steaming hot tar on city roofs. Last year in a nearby town, I drove by a huge, chaotic scene where emergency workers in hazmat suits were struggling with a giant pipe break, as raw sewage was pouring into the street. Of course all those workers up to their knees in a torrent of thick brown water were men! I’ve seen figures indicating that 92 per cent of people killed on the job are men—and it’s precisely because men are heroically doing most of the dangerous jobs in modern society.”

Our society couldn’t operate without men! They are the ones that God has given the muscle mass, testosterone, and strength to accomplish many things women cannot do but need. They are the protectors, inventors, and builders of all cultures and God designed it this way. Women who wanted to be like men were deceived by the enemy of their souls!

On the flip side, cultures have suffered terribly when women decide to leave their God-ordained sphere of influence – the home – and tried to take on men’s jobs. There’s few women left at home bearing and raising the next generation. This is catastrophic on many levels and we are seeing the ugly fruit that it has produced in all the cultures where this is happening. The younger generations have no ability to take care for the aging, much larger generations. Children have lost their way since they are no longer being raised and cared for by their very own mothers. Their mothers have decided their careers and making money is more important than loving their own children.

God has given men clearly defined roles and He has given women clearly defined roles and when they stop doing what they are supposed to be doing cultures die a slow, agonizing death. Go home, women. Tend to your husband, children, and homes. Make them sanctuaries of peace, warmth, and affection for your families. This is the greatest work that you can do because it was given to you by the Creator of everything.

She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.

Proverbs 31:27

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