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Fighting for Their Husband’s Eternal Soul

Fighting for Their Husband’s Eternal Soul

Guest post by Kelley

“Can you expound upon what you mean when you say “they are not only fighting for their husband’s eternal soul”? I am not quite sure I understand what this means. Can you provide scripture with this for further understanding? Thanks.”

Dear Tamra,

We are not wrestling with flesh and blood in this battle for the souls of our mates and children. We are engaged in spiritual warfare with the principalities and wickedness of the rulers of darkness. But greater is He within us than the enemy of our mates’ or children’s souls.

I Googled verses to “help a fallen brother” and a myriad of powerful and lovely words divinely inspired by God Himself came up, to name only a few:

Ecclesiastes 4:10
Hebrews 6:10; 13:16
John 15:12-13
Philippians 2:4
Proverbs 3:27
Romans 15:1
1 John 4:19-20
Matt 25:35-40 and 44-45
Galatians 6:1
James 5:19-20

Without the life-giving breath of God, each of us would be destined for hell. Some must be resuscitated, and could it be that that’s why you’ve come? Why you are here? Could you have come to the Kingdom for such a time as this, for the very saving of our man’s soul? My husband’s?

The season when my own dad left my mother is one we call “When Dad lost his mind.” Literally, the vapors– if you will– of evil consumed every centimeter of his life, so much so that he would leave his wife of nearly 25 years and their youngest 14 year old child for another woman who was on her second husband. “What is he thinking?!” haunted us over and over. “What is he thinking?”

Until her prodigal husband “came to his senses,” as the Word says about the prodigal son, Widow Connie Hultquist cried out to God daily for her wayward man, setting a place for him at the head of their dinner table for 12 long, horrific years. She did battle for him on her knees in prayer, listening for the door, ears cocked for the sound of his footsteps. He came home numerous times, and she asked no questions. That’s what shame does, asks why did you leave me? Asks, what were you thinking? She never shamed Jim. She said she just poured her love out on him, helped him bathe, exchange his rags for clean clothes, poured in the oil, massaged his broken body, filled his stomach with a delicious, hot meal that she had stirred with love and seasoned with reverence and compassion.

Widow Hultquist fought on her knees in obedience to the Word of God for the soul of her ungodly husband. Finally, after 12 long years of running from God, Connie’s faithful prayers chased her husband down; Jim couldn’t refuse that kind of deep love for another second. He yielded and humbled himself before God and went back home. He decided he wanted Connie’s God. His widow says it was worth every tear shed, every trying moment of every lonely night in their bed. Jim was Connie’s Jesus, and when she acted upon her faith in these ways toward “the least of these,” she had done it unto Jesus.

See, we forget that our husbands are Jesus wearing size 32×32 Levi’s or size medium Fruit of the Looms or a 15.5 x 33-inch dress shirt. This man is a soul, and every spiritual battle we fight, every prayer we pray, every meal, swept floor or pair of clean socks is worth it so he’ll never whiff the fumes of hell. If we wouldn’t wish hell on Jesus, we must do everything in our power to see that our husbands don’t go there either.

Baptize us, Lord, with a love for our husbands’ souls!

*hugs*
~Kelley

Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.
James 5:19, 20

Dissipating Her Husband’s Substance

Dissipating Her Husband’s Substance

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4). “Solomon seems to intend by this appellation, a woman who has all the perfections of her sex; wisdom, modesty, prudence, virtue, and, above all, economy and good management; and by her who maketh ashamed, he means the contrary; and particularly a woman who dissipates her husband’s substance in expensive follies; in the same manner as he called a libertine a prodigal son, a son that causeth shame.” (Benson Commentary)

Many women today are spendthrifts. They are continually going shopping and spending money or scouring the Internet for things to buy. The average woman makes 301 trips to the store annually, spending close to 400 hours a year shopping. This amounts to 8.5 years spent shopping during a typical lifespan. They are not content with what they have and must have more and more. A friend of mine just had dinner with a man whose wife was rottenness in his bones. She didn’t like the color of the Hummer he had bought her and wanted a new one. She spent all of his hard-earned money and was never satisfied. He was a broken and miserable man. Unfortunately, these types of stories aren’t uncommon in today’s materialistic society.

There are other women who go deep into debt by going to college and taking out big loans. Then when they marry their husbands, the husbands have the added burden of trying to pay off their wives’ loans, plus these same women want expensive wedding rings. Women, this isn’t using wisdom! We don’t need an expensive college education, the latest fashions, expensive haircuts and manicures, spa days, elaborate vacations, new cars, perfectly decorated homes, eating out often (Americans now spend more money on dining out than groceries), etc. if all these mean we are dissipating our husband’s income. We must not be rottenness to their bones but strive to be virtuous women who are a crown to our husbands instead, for godliness with contentment is great gain.

Here are some examples of virtuous wives who live contentedly within their husband’s income and are a crown to them.

 Laine lives within her husband’s income and has learned to be content with little. She found joy in living carefully and frugally while praying for wisdom often. “Every paycheck, I do my best to put a little away. Even if it is only a little, it is a savings. We have a savings account, a retirement account where a sum is taken out of my husband’s salary each month, and an emergency account for emergencies. There is desirable treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, but a foolish man squanders all that he has (Proverbs 21:20).

I do my best to keep our electrical and water bills as low as possible. When we were in an electrical crisis and our bill tripled overnight, we went into a very small, hip high refrigerator with no freezer and shut down our water heater. …We had to heat our water to bathe and to wash dishes. It was rough for awhile, but I was able to keep us on our budget. (She admits that they had to truly sacrifice to get out of debt and this is an example of a sacrifice they made, no hot running water for a time.)”

Here’s another woman who was a crown to her husband by living within her husband’s income. “I make my own cleaning products, personal care products, and most condiments. I would also add that we have a child with multiple severe food allergies, and I do buy our staple foods in organic versions and make all my own baked goods, treats, etc. from healthier ingredients.

We have SLOW Internet, no cable. No smartphones. No fancy gadgets. We do have newer vehicles, one that we are still paying on, and my hubby just bought a motorcycle for its fuel efficiency for his commute. We have a small backyard flock of chickens for egg and for meat.”

Then there are all of the women who I have asked how they have been able to stay home and live within their husband’s income. One woman responded, “For me, the most important change for making it on one income was mental. When I quit practicing law, I kept finding a quote that the path of Christianity is one of ‘downward mobility.’ Trusting that there is greater peace, joy, and fullness of life with less money/stuff/conveniences was key for me. Also, I personally don’t make my own laundry soap, can, thrift, etc. That is WONDERFUL for those who do, but tips like that would’ve scared me off the one-income idea. I say this just in case someone is reading this thinking, ‘Obviously, we can’t live on one income because I can’t do all of that!’ Those of us brought up to be career women have a hard enough time with the transition! But there are lots of ways to save money that don’t require Mom to be a domestic creative genius. We eat out pretty infrequently, drive older, long-paid-off cars, no cable or up-to-date electronics, ‘vacation’ only by visiting family, etc. I miss nothing that I used to spend money on, and find family life so much richer than financial wealth!”

It is your choice: do you want to be a crown to your husband by living carefully within his income or rottenness in his bones by spending more than he earns?

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12

Wives Are Commanded to Fear Their Husbands

Wives Are Commanded to Fear Their Husbands

How are godly women to win their disobedient husband? By being in subjection to them without a word while they (their husbands) behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear (1 Peter 3:2). This “coupled with fear” stood out to me recently so I went to the commentaries to figure out what this meant.

Pulpit Commentary: “The close connection with the word ‘chaste, and the parallel passage, Ephesians 5:33 (‘the wife see that she reverence her husband’), make it probable that the fear here inculcated is reverence for the husband – an anxious avoidance of anything that might even seem to interfere with his conjugal rights and authority.”

Most husbands can only dream of having a wife who feared them in this way! Unfortunately, the majority of wives today have no desire to fulfill their husband’s “conjugal rights” or allow him to be the “authority” in their homes. What are conjugal or marriage rights? Conjugal rights would include not depriving their husbands of sexual intimacy since this is a strong need that the majority of men have and their wives are commanded to fulfill it according to the Word. It also includes treating their husbands with respect and reverence. Wives are to be their husband’s help meet and take good care of their children and home as well. Godly wives will want to do these things for their husbands and do their best to obey their husbands in everything!

Included in this list of conjugal rights of a husband as a godly wife, would be to build her home up instead of tearing it down with her own hands. Part of building her home up would be pursuing peace within her home. Most husbands don’t want to fight with their wives. They also want well-disciplined children who are pleasurable to be around.

“Coupled with fear; with reverence of their husbands, giving them due honour, and showing all proper respect; or with the fear of God, which being before their eyes, and upon their hearts, engages them to such an agreeable conversation.” (Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible)

Ultimately women, we will one day answer to God for how we treat our husbands for when we reverence and fear our husbands, we are showing reverence and fear towards God. Knowing this, we won’t argue with our husbands because when we are arguing, we are showing disrespect and are usurping our husband’s God-given authority over us. We need to be agreeing with them a lot more than we are disagreeing. If we disagree, we state our opinion once and then let it go. Hammering them over the head with our opinions all of the time is not showing them the respect they deserve.

“Fear—reverential, towards your husbands. Scrupulously pure, as opposed to the noisy, ambitious character of worldly women.” (Jamieson-Fausset)

Women of the world today are incredibly noisy. They want to be known, their voices heard, and their wants fulfilled. They march for godless principles, watch ungodly shows, and speak filth. This is opposite of what the Lord wants from us. We are to be known for having meek and quiet spirits. We rest in the Lord’s will and are at peace, not fighting for what we want but living out godly values instead. We trust the Lord to handle things so our faith becomes strong and we pray continually.

“That she entertain a high esteem for him, be desirous of pleasing him in all things lawful, reasonable, and proper, and fear to give him unnecessarily any just offence in anything, persuaded that it is the will of God, and the law of the relation in which she stands to him, that she should thus conduct herself toward him.” (Benson)

Godly wives only seek the best for their husbands and dwell on the good in them. Their hearts are set on pleasing them and making their lives better. They are careful with their own lives and words so they don’t do or say anything that will embarrass them. A wife is her husband’s glory (1 Corinthians 11:7) so her behavior reflects good or badly upon her husband.

“Fear, in the sense of reverence, spontaneous, obedient regard; cf.the frequent application of the verb to the fear of God.” (Expositor’s Greek Testament)

Just as we trained our children to cheerfully and immediately obey us when they are young, a wife who cheerfully obeys her husband when he asks her to do something brings joy to him just as Sarah obeyed Abraham: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement (1 Peter 3:6).

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:12

Leaving His Socks on the Floor

Leaving His Socks on the Floor

A woman commented in the chat room: “There was an article recently about appreciating your husband even when he leaves his socks on the floor etc… I’m sure most people have read it… I kept thinking so basically appreciate the sucky things he does because hey, at least he’s not dead…. I’d rather my husband appreciate me for more than ‘at least she’s not dead.'”

Another woman responded to her the following that will bless all of you!

“I am married to a precious man, made in the image of our Father, who almost died on September 1, 2016 during one of our three marital separations, from an enormous brain aneurysm. But God. Even now, he is FAR from perfect (as am I), and he has yet to be our provider financially in full (we have four small children still at home.) Why do I say this to you? To have a martyr complex? To guilt you? To show you how “righteous” I am? PERISH THE THOUGHT.  No, I share this with you because almost losing your husband DOES put things like socks and dishes in perspective.

Once, before our third separation, I was so disgusted and furious with him that I picked ALL THE SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR of HIS out of our dirty laundry, and began carrying all my stuff downstairs to the washer dryer to do the wash. As I stood there, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart: ‘Whose wash do you think that IS, anyway? Yours? His? That laundry belongs to the LORD.’ I laughed. I mean, I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Because it was so utterly absurd that I thought I could PICK OUT THE SOCKS that weren’t ‘mine’ and wash the rest and somehow be justified, because after all, my husband was a total JERK. (And he really was, in his flesh, a total jerk!)

I do not wish the pain of hearing your husband’s voice from EMS, having a large stroke, on anyone. But I will say: take heed to the words I share. There is perspective. When you look at that dishwasher, thank Jesus that you have hands to load it and push the buttons to turn it on. Thank Jesus that you are healthy enough to get up in the middle of the night and do it. Thank Jesus that you even have a husband. Thank Jesus that you do not have to wash your dishes in prison. Anything you can think of to get the focus off of self and onto Jesus.

I know it’s not easy. That’s why it’s called putting off the old and putting on the new. That takes effort when our perspective is being changed by the LORD. I encourage you to just turn to Him whenever negative thoughts try to turn on you, and just thank and praise Him out loud, as you work and love and serve and as you lie down to rest, and as you rise up! Soon, you will not even think negative thoughts, or if you do, you will cast them down immediately! Blessings on your new baby to come very soon. Enjoy this. We can be so fickle; myself included. ‘Oh, I want him here! Oh, no I don’t!’ I get it. Be encouraged. You CAN do it! Love and hugs from a woman who is NOT widowed, by the grace of God.”

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.
Matthew 23:11

Women Flagrantly Refusing to Submit

Women Flagrantly Refusing to Submit

From a comment on Are Wives in Submission to Their Husbands Inferior?

I grew up seeing two generations of women flagrantly refusing to submit, and the effects on their marriages was disastrous. No unity, no sweet companionship, but a very them (men) vs. us (women) mentality. And both men were God-fearing, good men who could never do anything right in their wives’ eyes. That just made me all the more ready to respect and submit to my husband when the time came. Why not stop the generations of sin?!

What’s presented in the Bible is such a gracious, complementing, honoring, and beautiful thing. Submission is only hard because we don’t wish to be humble, or held accountable, or willing to put someone else’s wishes above ourselves: pride and selfishness, to be exact. And sometimes a husband is not perfect (well, never until heaven).

Submission is not about feeling good about my place in life, but it’s about my obedience to God. Am I willing to throw it all in and do what He has commanded me to do, being obedient and reaping his rewards (husband’s praise and children calling her blessed)? Or am I hardened and disobedient, wreaking havoc around me? Are there hard days? Yes. And yes. And yes. Then, I wrestle with God and His Word, until I’m back in submission, ultimately asking Him to teach me to love and submit better.

But, do you know how amazing it is to trust in our Creator? That taking a submissive role/a servant’s role (because the greatest of these will be the least and least will be the greatest) opens up a peace that can’t be explained. That quiet, knowingness that I am doing God’s will is priceless. It’s taken years for it to be as easy as breathing, and it will continue to take years for me to master it.

Have I seen the blessings? Most certainly. My husband regularly tells me he couldn’t live without me and my kids tell me I’m the best mom ever. So even when I’m asking my honey what he wants to eat this week and making my menu around his likes, or when I ask him if there’s anything I can do for him today, or when I make sure I pass all decisions through him because that’s what he’s asked me to do, none of this is unreasonable. And it’s not about him ‘winning’ or me ‘winning’, or me feeling oppressed (and I don’t, ever. Isn’t that amazing!). It’s obedience to God. I know I’m doing His work and being a submissive servant. And it is so good.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:24

Fighting for Her Marriage and Learning to Please Him

Fighting for Her Marriage and Learning to Please Him

There are women who acknowledge their wrong past behavior in their marriage. Their husbands have left them for other women. These wives can see how they pushed their husbands away with their indifference, withholding sexual intimacy from them, and their lack of affection. They won’t give up on their marriage because they are not only fighting for their husband’s eternal soul but for their family to stay as one, especially for their children’s sake.

There is one such woman who has allowed me to share some of the letter she has written to her husband in trying to win him back. There is definitely a softening on her husband’s part as he can clearly see the change in her and that she is fighting for him as Hosea fought for his adulterous wife. Here is what she said concerning the topic of arguing which most marriage books and conferences teach are part of all marriages. She has humbled herself in front of him, admitted her mistakes, and by God’s strength working in her promises to do better.

“I do not want to argue with you anymore. Seriously. I’d always heard that you will fight in marriage but that you have to learn to fight fair. Is this really true? I think that was just about one of the worst pieces of advice one can give. I actually don’t think God wants married couples to fight with each other at all! The husband is the head and the wife is to submit to his leadership. So there should be no arguing on my part period! Gently discussing differences of opinion or differing suggestions, yes, but there is absolutely no value in arguing to get my point or thoughts across.

To your point, yes, we should act like we are on the same team! Arguing, even done ‘fairly,’ just serves to drive a wedge between two people and leaves them on the opposite sides of chasm. I don’t want to argue with you ever again and do not intend to! I give you full permission to address any tone, words, or interactions that come across disrespectful and argumentative. I plan to guard my tongue on this but you are still welcome to call me out. I think in the past if you had been able to gently and in a loving way point out how damaging my arguing was instead of stuffing your feelings inside it could have helped, too. But ultimately it was me who was responsible for my stubborn and argumentative spirit.”

Another area her husband is unhappy with her is in the area of her messy homemaking.

“Sigh. I will say I am NOTHING like your mom. My mess is not everywhere but contained to a few usual areas which I am actively working on getting cleared up. There are many houses I’ve been to that are much, much messier than ours. You might not believe me but I truly do prefer to have things organized and in their place, just like you. Where I fall short is getting from point A to B of how you get messes organized. I get completely overwhelmed and it’s like I freeze up, wanting it to be done perfectly and not knowing how. This is another area where I believe your strengths are a great complement and asset to my weaknesses.

What if instead of losing your patience or insulting me about areas of the house that stress you out, if you gently offered suggestions for how things could be better put in place? Still it’s on me to do a better job but this is just a thought. I should have listened to you early on in our marriage about how important this was to you to try and circumvent the issue building up. Nonetheless, I am trying to go back and clean things up the way I should have a long time ago.

And when you say to throw something out (instead of keep it), I should have. Another thought to throw out there is that, I believe, if you had felt more satisfied in some of the core areas of our relationship (emotionally, sexually, generally feeling good about the relationship) you would have been less inclined to have a critical attitude toward my flaws. Not that I am saying I should be off the hook, because, like I said, things like organization, fitness, etc. are areas of personal frustration for me too and I want to change and be a good model for our girls. But I’m saying if overall the relationship was stronger, the little things probably wouldn’t have grated on each of us as much.”

As godly wives, we are to learn what pleases our husbands and then do them. Today’s “enlightened” women don’t want anyone to tell them what to do (except their bosses, of course). There is little respect for authority and zero respect for a husband’s authority. This woman has seen her lack of respect for her husband’s authority, confessed it, and wants to change for him. She wants to learn to please him. Let’s learn to please our husband in everything. Yes, this takes a humble and teachable spirit but this is what we are all called to have in order to become more like Christ.

She that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:34

Christian Wives’ Bad Thinking

Christian Wives’ Bad Thinking

Written By Ken

The bad thinking of the world that many Christian wives have adopted:

“My husband’s role is to meet my needs. I may not know exactly what those ‘needs’ are, and they certainly will change from time to time, but any loving husband will try to chase down my perceived needs and make me ‘feel’ better about myself and our relationship. After all, he is to love me like Christ loves the Church.”

“Men need to understand that women are often not looking for solutions to their problems, but just a friend to talk to. Just listen to me, and wait until I ask for a solution before giving it to me. Most of all, don’t use the Bible as it’s demeaning to me for you to quote scripture for everything and makes me feel disrespected and unheard.”

“Sure, God wants the wife to submit to her husband, but a husband has to try to make himself worthy of her respect and submission. It’s easy to love and submit to a husband who loves you the right way, but if we are not connected, how do you expect a wife to submit?”

What is the problem with each of these? The wife sets herself up as judge and jury of what works in a marriage with disregard for what God says. And unfortunately, this thinking is far too often taught in our church marriage and communications classes. “Hath God said…?” is not just a lie of Satan in the garden, but the fundamental lie at the root of the unhappiness for many Christian wives. A commitment to doing things God’s ways means allowing one’s husband to lead and using God’s Word as the judge and jury, not the lies of modern psychology and human relations.

It is ironic that the things that many Christian wives desire most in their marriage are prevented by their own bad thinking and inability to be vulnerable to God and their husband. They want their “needs” met, but they will not let their husband in to meet those needs of love, protection and leadership, because it means giving up control and most of all, giving up feeling that they are right when they are wrong.

Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5

Submission Puts Women in Bondage?

Submission Puts Women in Bondage?

We live in a wicked and depraved culture. Our culture doesn’t want to have anything to do with God nor His ways. Many take a word such as submission and pervert it. They say that submission puts women in bondage and causes them to be abused. They don’t understand that submission is a willing act by a godly wife to place herself under the leadership of her husband. It’s not a twisted and perverted type of bondage that the husband puts the wife in. This is why God commands wives to submit to their husbands.

It’s our choice, women. Are you going to willingly and joyfully submit to your husband and allow him to be the head over you as God designed or are you going to be rebellious and take control instead? There will always be a leader in the marriage and most marriages today are being led by the woman. Women like control and they use their emotions, feelings, and actions to control their husbands instead of the truth of God’s Word.

Nothing should control our lives except for the Word of God. If you are angry with your husband, remind yourself that anger does not accomplish the righteous life that God desires. If you are being a nag to him, remind yourself that your husband would rather live on the roof top than to hear you nag. If you complain to him, remember that God hates complaining because it proves you don’t trust in His provision. Take every single thought captive to the obedience of Christ.

When women tell you that husbands and wives are to submit to one another, meaning husbands are to submit to them, ask them if they are holding up their end of the verse and submitting to their husbands since they will all be only accountable to the Lord for their actions. When we submit to our husband, we are submitting to Christ. Christ values our submission. It is beautiful in His sight and this is what He wants us to adorn ourselves with (1 Peter 3:5).  A woman who joyfully and lovingly submits to her husband is more beautiful to the Lord than the most beautiful looking woman on the face of this earth; for God looks at the heart, not the outward appearance (1 Samuel 16:7).

“Submission is more than specific acts you do; it is an attitude of the will that willingly bends, seeking ways to obey in everything.” – Dorothy Patterson

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.  Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:22-24

Fewer Young People Want Gender Equality at Home

Fewer Young People Want Gender Equality at Home

Many adults today have been negatively impacted by the feminist movement; their mothers worked full time thus they didn’t spend much time with their mothers. They were raised by strangers mostly, and/or their parents were divorced. Because their mothers worked outside of the home, there was most likely a lot of quarreling between their parents (if they had both a mother and father) about who would do what since the roles seemed interchangeable because women and men were “equal” in every way. Children who were raised in this environment are going to clearly see that it doesn’t work out for good. Most likely, they aren’t going to want to continue living a life that hurt them so much, if they are wise enough to know there is a better way and there is – God’s way!

There’s an article called Americans Don’t Want What Feminists Want and I hope it is true. Feminist Activist Sheryl Sandberg wants men to “support” women in their career goals by working less at their jobs and more on the home front so women can do less on the home front and work more at their jobs. “My goal is very clear, which is that women run half our companies and countries and men run half our homes.”

Her goal and all feminist’s goals are against God’s plan for us and this will never work as if puny humans think what they make up is better than God’s perfect design for us. God didn’t create women to be leaders. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths (Isaiah 3:12). He created men to be the leaders with their temperament and build. He created women to be homemakers and raise children with their more emotional makeup and sensitive qualities. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully (1 Timothy 5:14).

“A new study by the Council of Contemporary Families was released that shows fewer young people want gender equality at home! The study found an increase in the number of college-bound students who believe families are better off if men are ‘the achievers outside the home’ and women ‘handled most of the family and domestic duties.’ There has also been ‘an uptick in the number who prefer the men to be dominant.'”

These young adults see the value in a mother home full time since they didn’t have one. They know the loneliness of wanting to be with their mother so badly that it hurt, yet having to watch her leave them every day all day. They felt the insecurity of not having one person to bond with when they were children. They didn’t like it and they know it’s not right or the way it should be. They may have even gathered and played at a neighbor friend’s home where the mother was home full time and saw the difference a mother at home makes. This home smelled good from food cooking and had a warm, comfortable feel about it because mother was at home. They grew up longing for this in their own homes instead of having an overworked and exhausted mom for a few hours in the evening when she got home from work and had given all of her best energy to others.

“Unlike feminists, they recognize the significance and value of domestic life and accept that sex differences are a vital component of any good marriage.” They recognize the significance and value of domestic life for women because most of them didn’t have it and yearned for it. They want to give their children what they didn’t have. Women have found out that working full time while having children isn’t such a good idea. The young women want to be the ones raising their children, fixing them healthy meals instead of fast food often, and being there to see their babies’ first smile, first step, and have the energy to enjoy them.

Growing up, these young adults were smart enough to see that their dads were bigger and stronger and more of an authority figure than their mothers. They knew it’s a dad’s responsibility to protect and provide for them and a mom’s responsibility to nurture. Dad and Mom aren’t “equal” as the feminists tried to get them to believe and it was clearly visible to them. Feminism lied to them and all they inherited from the feminists’ corrupt philosophy was messed up childhoods without a mother to raise them and most likely not a father in the home. Of course, they aren’t going to want this for their children!

“Women have been brainwashed to believe that the absence of a titled, payroll occupation condemns a woman to failure, boredom, and even imprisonment within the confines of the home. Although feminism speaks of liberation, self-fulfillment, personal rights, and breaking down barriers, in reality these phrases inevitably have produced the opposite. In fact, a salaried job and titled position can inhibit a woman’s natural nesting instinct and maternity by inverting her priorities so that she almost inevitably experiences failures in her life in the arena that should be most important, that is, in the fashioning of an earthly shelter for those whom she loves most and in the rearing of her own children.” (Dorothy Patterson)

“The younger generation isn’t interested in what women like Sheryl Sandberg and Gloria Steinem are interested in.” Thankfully.

The Lord bringeth the counsel of the heathen to nought: He maketh the devices of the people of none effect. The counsel of the LORD standeth for ever, the thoughts of His heart to all generations.
Psalm 33:10, 11

Feminism Destroys Boys

Feminism Destroys Boys

More and more boys are growing up fatherless due to the women’s movement. All feminists cared about were their “rights” and getting what they wanted no matter the cost. The cost? boys. This is way too high of a cost since boys grow up to be men and all cultures need hard-working men to survive.

In the article Boys in Crisis, Warren Farrell says some powerful things against feminism even though he championed it years ago. Now, however, he sees the harm it has done to boys. Back in my parent’s day, there were very few divorces. Marriages were for life and children grew up with a mother and a father. Girls grew up to stay home and raise their children. Boys grew up to work hard and provide for their families. Now many boys are growing up with single mothers and this is devastating for them. Boys NEED fathers to toughen them up and be men. Men need to work hard and find their purpose in providing for their families. Feminism has stolen this from men.

“Boys with minimal or no father involvement often look to their dads as role models, but because they don’t have much time with their dads (due to divorce), their role models are more ‘straw men’ or ‘straw dads.’ These boys don’t benefit from overnights, hang-out time, and the many hours it takes for boys to bond with their dads, and trust that their feelings won’t be dismissed. Dads tend to build bonds with their sons by, for example, playing games and rough-housing, and then use the resulting bond as leverage for their sons to ‘get to bed on time’ lest there be ‘no playing tomorrow night.’ This boundary enforcement teaches boys postponed gratification.

Boys with minimal or no father involvement more frequently suffer from an addiction to immediate gratification. For example, with minimal or no father involvement there is a much greater likelihood of video game addiction, more ADHD, worse grades in every subject, less empathy, less assertiveness (but more aggression), fewer social skills, more alienation and loneliness, more obesity, rudderlessness, anger, drugs, drinking, delinquency, disobedience, depression and suicide.”

He goes on to explain that Hitler’s army went after the fatherless and so does ISIS. These young men are vulnerable to joining groups that are mean and angry. Divorce causes children to grow up to be angry. I have seen it. Everyone bemoans the plight of single women today but most times it is the women who have chosen to be single. Single motherhood has grown so common in America that demographers now believe half of all children will live with a single mom at some point before the age of 18.” Marriage is no longer valued. Women have sex with men without a marriage commitment. If they do get married, they have no clue how to be a wife who loves and respects her husband. Feminism has destroyed womanhood, too.

There are women in the chat room who have fought for their marriages and won. Some of them had affairs and some of them had husbands who had affairs. Everyone was telling them to get divorced but then they would come into the chat room or get a hold of me somehow and I would encourage them to fight for their marriages using 1 Peter 3:1-6. One young woman had a husband who was in an affair for five years and she was ready to divorce him. He wanted her back but everyone told her she would be crazy to go back to him. We encouraged her to go back and become a godly wife. Now, they are expecting their third baby and having “butterflies” for each other. They love each other deeply.

Another woman went back to her husband after they had both had affairs. Now, he is heavily involved in church and being a strong father to his sons; teaching them the ways of godly manhood. She adores her husband. God is good and bringing beauty out of ashes to those who trust Him. There are other women in there who have fought for and won their husbands back and others who are still in the fight but they aren’t giving up. They know what’s at stake not only for them and their husband’s eternal souls, but for the least of these – their children. Their children need their father and mother under one roof.

Life isn’t about us. It’s about God and living our lives the way He has clearly spelled out in Scripture. He created marriage. He created a husband and a wife to have children and raise them for Him. Everything we do should be for His glory. He is glorified when we live for Him and obey Him.

“Hard, hard marriages that persevere in faithfulness, year in and year out, against all odds, tell a great truth about Christ and his church. The blood-bought new covenant will never be broken — ever. That is what is different. That is what is new about the new covenant over the old covenant. He secures its permanence by his blood. And that newness is why Jesus raised the standards of faithfulness in marriage above the standards of the Old Testament law.” (John Piper)

What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Mark 10:9