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Are Women More Gullible Than Men?

Are Women More Gullible Than Men?

One of the reasons we are given that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men is that Eve was deceived. So does this just mean that Eve was deceived but it doesn’t mean that all women are more easily deceived as this one author wrote?

Got Questions is a very reliable source for most biblical questions. They answered a question concerning women pastors/preachers. I agreed almost 100% with their answer except for this paragraph: “The fact that Eve was deceived is also given in 1 Timothy 2:14 as a reason for women not serving as pastors or having spiritual authority over men. This does not mean that women are gullible or that they are all more easily deceived than men. If all women are more easily deceived, why would they be allowed to teach children (who are easily deceived) and other women (who are supposedly more easily deceived)? The text simply says that women are not to teach men or have spiritual authority over men because Eve was deceived. God has chosen to give men the primary teaching authority in the church.”

I asked the women in the chat room this question: “Do you believe in general from what you have seen and experienced that women are more easily deceived than men?” All but one of them that answered the question in the affirmative and some even gave personal experiences. Jessica B. summed it up fairly well, “Definitely. Both sin but just like in the garden men are more apt to choose to sin and women are more apt to be deceived. (It isn’t 100% but I do think it is an obvious majority.)” Jessica L. wrote, “Yes, and more emotional. I can get all worked up over something and discuss it with my husband and he can erase the drama with one sentence by putting things into perspective.” Maddy answered, “Women are primarily led by their emotions while men tend to be more logical, so yes.” It was quite unanimous in their opinions on this matter.

My question for you to ponder is that if Eve, the first woman who was perfect in every way, had never sinned, and walked with God, yet was deceived, do we really believe that we are any different than her? “The argument here is a singular one—Adam and Eve both sinned, but Adam was not deceived. He sinned, quite aware all the while of the magnitude of the sin he was voluntarily committing. Eve, on the other hand, was completely, thoroughly deceived (the preposition with which the Greek verb is compounded here conveying the idea of thoroughness)—she succumbed to the serpent’s deceit. Both were involved in the sin, but only one (Eve) allowed herself to be deluded” (Ellicott’s Commentary).

We can still see how women are deluded today. They have fallen hook, line, and sinker for the feminist agenda. They have left their homes in pursuit of careers while leaving their children in the cares of others. They are tearing their homes down with their own hands. Yes, women are as deluded today as Eve was and there’s no doubt about it. Just look how many “Christian” women have fallen for Jesus Calling which is an absolutely false and heretical teaching.

“Being more easily deceived, she more easily deceives. Last in being, she was first in sin—indeed, she alone was deceived. The subtle serpent knew that she was ‘the weaker vessel’ (1 Peter 3:7). He therefore tempted her, not Adam. She yielded to the temptations of sense and the deceits of Satan; he, to conjugal love. Hence, in the order of God’s judicial sentence, the serpent, the prime offender, stands first; the woman, who was deceived, next; and the man, persuaded by his wife, last (Genesis 3:14-19)” (Jamieson-Fausset Commentary).

This is a warning to us, women. “Being more easily deceived, she more easily deceives.” There are many women going around deceiving other women. I was deceived by other women when I was a young wife by the things they were criticizing my husband for and I listened. This caused dissension in our marriage and false expectations. This is why we need to be steeped in the Word of God so we don’t deceive other women and we need to make sure that whoever we are learning from is speaking truth.

“Adam never was deceived at all; neither by the serpent, with whom he never conversed; nor by his wife, he knew what he did, when he took the fruit of her, and ate; he ate it not under any deception, or vain imagination, that they should not die, but should be as gods, knowing good and evil. He took and ate out of love to his wife, from a fond affection to her, to bear her company, and that she might not die alone; he knew what he did, and he knew what would be the consequence of it, the death of them both; and inasmuch as he sinned willfully, and against light and knowledge, without any deception, his sin was the greater: and hereby death came in, and passed on all men, who sinned in him:

“…Now inasmuch as the serpent did not attack Adam, he being the stronger and more knowing person, and less capable of being managed and seduced; but made his attempt on Eve, in which he succeeded; and since not Adam, but Eve, was deceived, it appears that the man is the more proper person to bear rule and authority, as in civil and domestic, so in ecclesiastic affairs; and it is right for the woman to learn, and the man to teach: and seeing that Eve was the cause of transgression to Adam, and of punishment to him and his posterity, the subjection of the woman to the man was confirmed afresh” (Gill’s Exposition).

Women are emotional in nature and easily led by their feelings. This is why God created men to be the leaders. They are not as easily deceived nor led by their emotions. I am not sure how anyone with any wisdom at all cannot discern this to be as true today as it was with Eve. It’s the natural temperament and emotional makeup that the Lord gave women to be home with their children all day.

Here’s a commentary that agrees with me concerning the topic of women teaching other women since they are more easily deceived and from what I am seeing, a lot of  women Bible preachers/teachers are deceiving a lot of women. The thing that troubles me the most is how many of them hear special revelations from the Lord which isn’t biblical but a result of women’s supposedly “spiritual” sensibilities .

“‘But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.’ (1 Timothy 2:12) διδάσκειν: This refers of course only to public teaching, or to a wife’s teaching her husband. In Titus 2:3 St. Paul indicates the natural sphere for woman’s teaching. In 1 Cor. women are forbidden λαλεῖν in the Church. The choice of terms is appropriate in each case.” (Expositor’s Greek Commentary)

The woman’s natural sphere for women’s teaching is clearly spelled out for us in Titus 2:4, 5 which most female Bible teachers conveniently leave out of their teaching. Is it any wonder that this following verse is specifically directed to women?

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
2 Timothy 3:6, 7

She Never Tells Him What to Do

She Never Tells Him What to Do

For years I tried to tell my husband how to eat healthier and all it did was drive a deep wedge into our marriage. Trying to control others, especially our husbands, is a terrible way to live. It is counterproductive to a good marriage. We are called to be their help meet and to submit to them in everything, NOT try to control or change them. This is the Lord’s job.

I have been following a young woman on Facebook. She is close friends with one of my nieces. She loves eating healthy and living as toxic-free as she can since being diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. She is a wise young woman. On her Facebook page, she had these words:

I am most frequently asked how I get my husband on board with healthy eating and non-toxic living.

Newsflash, the answer is quite simple. I never tell him what to do! <— yes, it’s really that simple!

So I went to her article and read this:

Honestly my best and most truthful advice is: never tell someone what to do. Show them a better way through your actions, discipline, and passion for healthy living. Let that spirit become so contagious so that they ask, “Hey, can I do that, too?”

I can say that I have honestly never once told my husband what to do. Rather he saw my discipline and how eating healthy and non-toxic products influence me so much that he wanted in. I vividly remember the day when he emailed me a long list of Primally Pure & Beautycounter products he wanted to try.

Her husband is a blessed man! Give your husband the gift of not telling him what to do and learning to please him instead. Yes, you can kindly ask him to do things but never tell or command him since you are his wife, not his mother or boss.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
1 Corinthians 13:24

Destroying a Marriage Over Housework

Destroying a Marriage Over Housework

My post that has gone viral numerous times has been shocking to some of my friends and relatives considering some of the other more controversial things I have written. It’s on homemaking, for goodness sake! Women today have no clue that they were created to be their husband’s help meet and work hard serving them as keepers at home. No, the blurring of roles and the desire to be served instead of serve is as destructive upon marriage as anything else, in my opinion.

One woman shared an article with me that was written by a wife who made it clear that she was NOT going to pick or clean up after her husband. She admitted he was tired when he came home wearing scrubs so he probably was in the medical field and had a demanding job but this doesn’t matter to many women today. No, women are taught that men are supposed to help with the housework and if they don’t, they find another man. Since women have decided to take on men’s job of providing, they decided that men should take on their job of being keepers at home without men’s consent. This feminist mindset is terribly destructive since it causes discontentment and bitterness to settle in which defiles many, according to the Word of God.

The article I am referring to is called I Married a Man Whose Mother Did Everything For Him, And I Called It Out to Save Our Marriage. Yes, women, she believes that forcing your husband to clean up after himself is something you must do if you want to stay married. This is so far removed from what the Lord has called us to do if we are a believer in Jesus Christ; for the greatest of all is the servant of all.

If our Lord and Savior can get down on His knees and wash all twelve of His disciples dirty feet (yes, even the one who He knew would betray Him) and then be crucified to pay the penalty for our sin so that we can have eternal life with Him, we can certainly clean and pick up after our husband. You know, the man that you were specifically created by God to be his help meet. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man (1 Corinthians 11:9). There is no such thing as a wasted life for one who lives to serve others.

I used to be like this woman and I was unhappy. I allowed my husband’s behavior to control my mood. I was not servant-hearted but selfish and wanted my own way. It’s not a happy way to live. No, it’s a much better way to live serving others and making their lives as good as you can. It’s not thinking about ourselves more, but thinking about ourselves less. Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves (Philippians 2:3).

God created us to be the keepers at home (working hard at home) and the men to be the providers. When we follow these roles from the Lord, there is peace. If you have a husband who works hard to provide for you, take care of him at home as unto the Lord. We were created to work hard and do it unto the Lord. Pick and clean up after him heartily as unto the Lord. Don’t make him do housework unless he wants to do it. This is your responsibility and if you are physically able, take it seriously. Teach your daughters to delight in doing housework, cooking, and serving others as unto the Lord. Their future husbands will appreciate you!

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Making a Name for Ourselves in Cyberspace

Making a Name for Ourselves in Cyberspace

There are many young “Christian” women bloggers these days who have huge followings. They write books and speak at conferences even though they are married and have children. Is this what God has called them to do? No, God has called them first and foremost to be a help meet to their husbands and then a mother to their children and finally, a keeper at home.

It’s heady stuff having a lot of people reading what you’re writing. Yes, I have a taste of it but I have to be so careful to not allow it to consume me, even though my children are all grown up and it’s only my husband and me at home now. I still need to make sure I am a help meet to my husband and a keeper at home along with being a grandmother who is available to my grandchildren and daughter to my aging parents. I am thankful that I didn’t have this cyberspace ministry opportunity when I had children in the home because it is very time consuming.

My husband often reads what I write, comments, takes any emails or comments from men, and has even written some posts. He, at any time, can tell me to take down a post or change comments and I will but he gives me the freedom to write what I write and study. He knows that I am instructed to teach young women biblical womanhood according to Titus 2:3-5 and is thankful for the ministry the Lord has blessed me with. Every morning during our devotions, he prays over me and my ministry. God has given this ministry to the “aged women” for a reason. Everything the Lord does is for a good reason.

Denise Sproul  in her book Tending Your Garden had some very good words for women who are finding ministries apart from their husbands.

It sort of helps to see the foolishness of wives seeking their own glory and identity when you imagine the church, as the bride of Christ, trying to do the same thing. How absurd! What identity would the church have on its own without the Bridegroom? Silly, isn’t it, when woman is already joined to a man and blessed because of it that she would seek to loose herself and try to do her own thing and be admired for it.

Our “glory” as women, like the church, is wrapped up not in making a name for ourselves, but making a name for our husbands under Christ. Our identity should be in him and Him…am I acting in such a way them my husband can trust me? Am I doing him good and not harm all the days of his life? Is my husband known in the gates and does he sit among the elders of the land?

Consider the temptation for women to seek their own identities and followings on the Internet. It seems that many women attempt to make a platform for themselves and their own teaching which is quite separate from assisting their husbands in their callings. Aside from the myriad problems of setting oneself up as a teacher of others, under no ecclesiastical authority to do so (which is certainly not something only grabbed by women), it boggles the mind to think of the time these women devote to their blogs, websites, and commenting on other sites.

It is necessary for women to fight the temptation to want to make a name for themselves, even if it is only in cyberspace. And women should be very careful not to justify the time and energy they spend in such pursuits by saying that they are just helping their husband and doing so under his authority. Those women who truly are doing that are out there, but they are few and far between.

Mothers, your work in the home with your husband and children is invaluable. You are doing a great work so don’t be tempted to leave (even emotionally and mentally through cyberspace) this God-ordained work in pursuit of name recognition, fame, and/or money even if you think it is your “calling.” Nothing is more important than the work you do within the home for your family.

And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?
Nehemiah 6:3

Are We Good Enough?

Are We Good Enough?

There are a lot of women teaching other women that they are “good enough” and if their husbands cheat on them, it’s not their fault. It’s purely the husband’s fault. If a man breaks up with them, it’s not their fault for they are the “pearl of great price” and “worthy of more.” Yes, I have read these things being written by women lately. Are these women good enough and the pearl of great price? Is there never any fault of their own?

No, most of us aren’t good enough and usually it takes two to destroy a relationship. (The pearl of great price isn’t us by the way, but is Jesus and the salvation He offers. Whatever lady believes she is the “pearl of great price” needs to understand the Bible better.) There isn’t one woman that I have mentored who had a cheating husband who didn’t confess to the sins she was committing against her husband before the affair. When something bad happens to us in any relationship, it’s best to examine our own behavior and actions instead of trying to make us feel that we did nothing wrong and it was all the other person’s fault.

Yes, a man who cheats on his wife is wrong, but so is a wife who lives in rebellion to her husband’s leadership, disrespects him, and treats him with indifference. She began the tearing down of her home long before her husband had the affair. I have yet to mentor a woman who was a godly, submissive wife and was kind, respectful, and did what she could to be the best help meet to her husband that she could be yet have a husband who had an affair. Can it happen? Of course it can but generally, there is something that pushes a husband away from his wife to want to cheat on her. But there are some men who are simply evil and perverse. I am not writing about them.

When I mentor women who have been cheated on, I don’t tell them that they are “good enough.” No, I encourage them to get to work by winning their wayward husband without a word and becoming the godly woman that the Lord has called them to be. Telling them that they are good enough isn’t going to help anything. None of us are “good enough” without Christ and even when we are in Christ, it is Him who is good enough, not us. We should all want to grow in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord every single day. We will all have work to do on ourselves to become more like Christ until the day we die.

We need to be continually examining ourselves to make sure that we are in the faith and producing good fruit.

Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
2 Corinthians 13:5

25 Way to Communicate Respect to Your Husband

25 Way to Communicate Respect to Your Husband

This was an article in Above Rubies Magazine from October 2012 and I kept it because it was so powerful. I decided to type it up for all of you to read so it can encourage you, too. It was written by Jennifer Flanders who had 12 children at the time!

Actions speak louder than words. You can say you respect your husband, but he’ll have a hard time believing that unless your behavior backs it up. What does respectful living look like? Here are 25 ways you can communicate respect to your spouse without uttering a word. If you’ll make it your habit to do these things, the next time you tell your husband how much you respect him, he won’t have to wonder if you really mean it.

Choose Joy. It’s true: A happy wife makes a happy life. Please don’t use moodiness as an attempt to manipulate your man, but in all things rejoice, because that’s the right thing to do (1 Thessalonians 5:16; Philippians 4:4).

Honor His Wishes. Give weight to what your husband thinks is important. Make those things a priority that matter most to him, whether it’s having dinner ready when he gets home from work or keeping the house tidy or limiting computer time. Don’t make him ask twice (Philippians 2:4).

Give Him Your Undivided Attention. Yes, I know that women are masters of multi-tasking, but when your husband is speaking to you, make a point to lay other tasks aside, look into his eyes, and listen to what he is saying with the goal of understanding and remembering his words.

Don’t Interrupt. Have you ever been around a person who won’t let you finish a sentence? That gets old fast. Even if you think you already know what your husband is going to say, allowing him to say it without cutting him off mid-sentence shows both respect and common courtesy.

Emphasize His Good Points. Sure, he has his faults (as do you), but dwelling on them will only make you (both) miserable. Choose instead to focus on those qualities in your husband that you most admire (Philippians 4:8).

Pray for him. Ruth Bell Graham advised wives to “tell your mate the positive, and tell God the negative.” Take your concerns to God. Faithfully lift up your husband in prayer every day, and you will likely notice a transformation not only in him, but in yourself, as well (Philippians 4:6, 7; 1 Thessalonians 5;17).

Don’t Nag. Your husband is a grown man, so don’t treat him like a two-year-old. Leave room for God to work. You are not the Holy Spirit, so do not try to do His job.

Be Thankful. Cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Don’t take your husband for granted. Be appreciative for everything he does for you, whether big or small. Always say thank you (1 Thessalonians 5:18; Ephesians 5:20).

Smile at Him. Smiles spread happiness. Smiles have even been shown to create happiness. Smiles are contagious. And a smile makes any woman more beautiful.

Respond Physically. Did you know that the way you respond (or don’t respond) to your husband’s romantic overtures has a profound effect on his self-confidence? Don’t slap him away when he tries to hug you or make excuses when he’s in the mood. Your enthusiastic cooperation and reciprocation will not only assure him of your love, but will make him feel well respected, too (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).

Eyes Only for Him. Don’t compare your husband unfavorably to other men, real or imaginary. It is neither fair nor respectful and will only breed trouble and discontent. Avoid watching movies or reading books that might cause you to stumble in this area, as well (Psalm 19:14; Proverbs 4:23).

Kiss Him Goodbye. I once read about a study done in Germany which found that men whose wives kissed them goodbye every morning were more successful than those who weren’t kissed. Success and respect often go hand-in-hand, so be sure to send him off right, and don’t forget to greet him with a kiss when he returns home for good measure.

Prepare His Favorite Foods. Although the rest of the family is not overly fond of spaghetti, my husband loves it, so I try to make it at least two or three times a month as a way to honor him. Next time you’re planning meals, give special consideration to your husband’s preferences (Proverbs 31:14, 15).

Cherish Togetherness. I love to sit near my husband, whether at home or away. Our church shares potluck dinners every Sunday afternoon, and although the men and women normally sit separately to visit, I like to position myself close enough to my husband that I can listen to the conversation, as I think everything he says is so interesting. At home, I’ll take my book or handwork to whatever room in the house he’s working in just to be close to him, because I enjoy his company even when neither of us is talking.

Don’t complain. Nobody wants to be around a whiner or complainer. It is grating on the nerves. Remember the serenity prayer: accept the things you can’t change, courageously change the things you can, seek wisdom to know the difference (Philippians 2:140).

Resist the Urge to Correct. I know one wife whose spouse can’t tell a story without her stopping him fifteen times to correct inconsequential details: “It wasn’t Monday evening, it was Monday afternoon…It wasn’t blue, it was turquoise…He didn’t ride the bus, he took a shuttle.” Please. Please. Please. Don’t ever do that to your husband – or to anyone else, for that matter (Proverbs 17:28).

Dress to Please Him. Take care of your appearance. Choose clothes your husband finds flattering, both in public and around the house.

Keep the House Tidy. To the best of your abilities, try to maintain a clean and orderly home. Seek to make it a haven of rest for your entire family (Proverbs 31:27).

Be Content. Do not pressure your husband to keep up with the Jones’. Take satisfaction in the lifestyle he is able to provide for you (1 Timothy 6:6-10; Hebrews 13:5).

Take His Advice. Do not dismiss his opinions lightly, especially when you’ve asked for his counsel in the first place. Make every effort to follow your husband’s advice.

Admire Him. Voiced compliments and heartfelt praise are always welcome, but you should also make it your habit to just look at your husband in a respectful, appreciative way. Think kind thoughts toward him. He’ll be able to see the admiration in your eyes (Luke 6:45).

Protect His Name. Honor your husband in the way you speak of him to family and friends. Guard his reputation and do not let minor disagreements at home cause you to speak ill of him in public. Live in such a way that it will be obvious to others why your husband married you in the first place (Proverbs 12:4; 22:1).

Forgive His Shortcomings. In the words of the late Ruth Bell Graham, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Please do not hold grudges against your husband. Do not allow a root of bitterness or resentment find a home in your heart. Forgive your husband freely, as Christ has forgiven you (Mark 11:25; Matthew 18:21-35).

Don’t Argue. You are not always right, and you do not always have to have the last word. Be the first to say, “I’m sorry.” Be willing to accept the blame. It takes two to argue, so “abandon a quarrel before it breaks out” (Proverbs 17:14; 21:19; 25:24).

Follow His Lead. If you want your husband to lead, you must be willing to follow. Neither a body nor a family can function well with two heads. Learn to defer to your husband’s wishes and let final decisions rest with him (Ephesians 5:22-24).

He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord (Proverbs 18:22).

Do these 25 things consistently, and your husband will never have trouble believing that fact.

Confusion Over Sexual Personhood is Epidemic and Devastating

Confusion Over Sexual Personhood is Epidemic and Devastating

When I was growing up, we were shown clearly defined gender roles in our home and in our church. My mom was a full-time homemaker and my dad worked hard to provide. When we went anywhere as a family, my dad drove and at restaurants, he was always the one to pay. He took care of the broken and heavy things in and around the home. He took us to church every Sunday and once in a while read Bible stories to us. He prayed at family meals. He was definitely the head of our home. In our church, I never remember a woman getting up on stage except to sing. No, they weren’t worship leaders who gave little mini-sermons between songs or pray, and they didn’t give announcements. They were quiet in the churches.

My children had the same upbringing. I was home full time and Ken worked to provide. He always drove, paid at restaurants, took care of the heavy and broken things in and around the home, and prayed over family meals. Our children were given clear examples of maleness and femaleness and their roles. They have all grown up to exhibit these same roles in their families, thankfully.

John Piper wrote, “The tendency today is to stress the equality of men and women by minimizing the unique significance of our maleness or femaleness. But this depreciation of male and female personhood is a great loss. It is taking a tremendous toll on generations of young men and women who do not know what it means to be a man or a woman. Confusion over the meaning of sexual personhood today is epidemic. The consequence of this confusion is not a free and happy harmony among gender-free persons relating on the basis of abstract competencies. The consequence rather is more divorce, more homosexuality, more sexual abuse, more promiscuity, more social awkwardness, and more emotional distress and suicide that come with the loss of God-given identity.”

God has given us clearly defined gender roles in the family and in the Church. There’s no confusion about this. No, mothers aren’t supposed to be the providers for their families. No, men aren’t supposed to be Mr. Mom. No, women aren’t supposed to give mini or long sermons in the churches or be in any type of leadership positions in the churches.

Women were deceived into believing that their lives at home with their children didn’t matter and they turned culture upside down. The solution to this tragedy? All of you who love the Lord Jesus Christ and want to please Him in all that you do, strive to live in obedience to His commands which aren’t burdensome because His Spirit works mightily within you. He calls you to be a keeper at home with your children. You are a help meet to your husband. This is God’s perfect role for you. Make sure your children are clearly taught and shown the beautiful differences between male and female.

Rebel against our feminist culture and love the role that God has specifically designed for you. Your family will be blessed and your children will most likely grow up to be emotionally stable and secure and be content with who God made them to be; for godliness with contentment is great gain.

Male and female created he them; and blessed them.
Genesis 5:2

No Wide Open Door For Divorce

No Wide Open Door For Divorce

Written By Anne Ortlund

Is divorce ever allowable according to the Scriptures? When the Pharisees asked Jesus if it was lawful for a man to divorce his wife, He answered with great strength.

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Matthew 19:4-6)

But when Jesus seemed so adamant against divorce, the Pharisees pressed him, as people are apt to do.

They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? (Matthew 19:7)

Jesus’ answer shows how loath He was to make divorce seem a logical solution:

He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so. (Matthew 19:8)

But then His next sentence and another Scripture later on indicate two possible situations allowing divorce:

And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery. (Matthew 19:9)

Opening the door a crack, “except for fornication,” is vastly different from throwing it open wide. He didn’t say, “Now, all of you who have been cheated on, please feel free to walk right on through here. There’s no problem. You’ve got your ticket to divorce right in your hand. Y’all come!”

The implication is, “If you insist, it’s permissible for this reason, but don’t feel you must. Forgiving, persevering, loving is better.”

Permanent desertion by a non-Christian partner from a Christian partner is the second possibility. Again, when the Bible brings this up, it presents it not as a free ticket to exit a marriage, but as a very last resort:

If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. (1 Corinthians 12b-14)

God is concerned about the welfare of children…Recently we heard a radio talk show psychologist spend a lengthy period of time interviewing only adults in their thirties and beyond whose parents had divorced many years before, when they were children. All of these adults interviewed had either never married or they had married and divorced several times, and the same reason came through repeatedly like a broken record: a whole generation later, these people could not successfully relate to adults in a close, trusting situation because of an unshakable fear that they might be abandoned.

This is not to discourage you if you’re the child of divorced parents; the power of the Holy Spirit can make glorious exceptions to every human tendency! This is a warning to couples considering divorce.

“What if the relationship gets actually violent, or if the marriage is just too miserable to stay intact?” Do we qualify to answer that – we who have never suffered in this way? In counseling others we have hurt when they hurt, but it’s not the same. We don’t want to sound flippant or give easy one-two-three answers to any who are going through very deep marital waters.

There are three needs. Repentance is always in order, and godly counseling from a qualified person who takes the Bible seriously, and loving, praying friends.

Beyond those, consider this suggestion: When a spouse or a child is in actual danger, perhaps the only thing to do is to separate, to stay out of the physical presence of the offender. Separation is not divorce.

This is comparable to the action of the father of the prodigal son. Ther father let him go and put physcial distance between them, but he didn’t disown his son. He didn’t cut him off. He was saying, “I haven’t changed. I’m still on the same old terms, ready to receive you again. When you repent and return, my love for you will have persevered through it all. I’ll be right there, welcoming you back, eagerly and forever.”

There are many marriages today of great triumph, in which one partner has remained patient and faithful and forgiving in spite of every legitimate reason for divorce, until the erring partner repents.

Elizabeth Achtemeier write of her own parents in her book The Committed Marriage,

To give a person witness, I grew up in a home which, for a period, was marked with violent differences, arguments, and the threat of divorce. Through all the turbulence and heartache, my Christian mother refused to agree to the separation because she thought it was wrong for a Christian to do so. Some outside of the family thought she was foolish, but personally I am deeply grateful for her. Contrary to the belief of some psychologists, she prevented psychic damage to her children far beyond what measure of it we suffered in a troubled home. She lived to enjoy a mellowed and loving relationship with Dad in their later years. He himself came to a simple but deep Christian faith, and the last words I heard Mother say to him before her death were, “You really do love me, don’t you?”

If Elizabeth’s mother hadn’t had staying power or that marriage, how would Elizabeth have turned out? Do you think that a generation later a wonderful book would ever have been written to the blessing of many?

Let us tell you about two real couples (their names are, of course, changed) among our friends.

1. Susie has been married to Kevin for fifteen years. She and Kevin are both attractive, prominent Christians, and they have five beauiful children. Many younger believers have looked to them as models, and they are pillars in their church.

Recently, Susie was shocked to discover that Kevin had been playing around with another woman. Susie is divorcing him.

2. Jane became a believer early in her marriage, and she faithfully loved and cared for her husband Carey through insult after insult as he flirted openly before her and had affair after affair. This behavior went on for thirty years!

But Jan had staying power: Her love simply outlasted Carey’s rebellion. And when at last he was broken and repentant and accepted Christ into his heart, he couldn’t appreciate and love her enough.

Look at these two marriages from the perspective of ten years from now. (Remember, keep your eyes ahead, and always live today in the light of tomorrow.)

1. Susie and Kevin will have bitter memories locked inside their hearts, and damaged children, and friends who never understood and so backed away. There could be awkward children’s weddings…They themselves may also have new marriages and the confusion of relationships between ex-spouses and current ones, “his” children and “hers,” and too many grandparents, uncles, and aunts, mostly also hurting and confused. They’ll have rethought whether they could remain in their church, and probably one will have left, feeling abandoned and resentful. Both will feel uncertain about their “ministries” (they’ve been Bible teachers) for the rest of their lives, in the church’s confusion over whether they still qualify for leadership and service.

2. Jane and Carey will be in their “golden years,” considered by their church as models – a lovely older couple who had earlier struggles but finally “made it.” And Carey, in great gratitude, will probably treat Jane as he does today – like the queen that she truly is.

Listen: In your marriage, as in every marriage, there will be, along the way, those little – enormous! – moments of decision when you take a stand, one way or the other:

“I will forgive” (Matt. 18:21-22), or –

“I will not forgive.”

Decide right now that your love will not be conditional; as often as the crises come, you will forgive and forgive and forgive. And do you know what? Chances are, you will also be forgiven.

They are Marching Against God

They are Marching Against God

Today, many women will be marching for their “rights” all over the country and their rights have absolutely nothing to do with godliness or God’s will for them. They want nothing to do with God’s ordained authority structure. They want their way and little do they know that they are participating in the destruction of our culture as they listen to their father, the Devil, who is the father of lies. 

Here are portions of a great sermon by Alistair Begg. He preached about the perfect roles that God has designed for men and women .

God has given the man the place and role of leadership. He has done this from the beginning. Read what Paul has to say in 1 Timothy 2 and 1 Corinthians 11…What Paul is arguing is from the doctrine of creation…What he makes clear is that God made Eve from Adam. He made Eve after Adam. He made Eve for Adam…He made them equal but He didn’t make them identical. You may have noticed that!…

He made them to go together. He made them to fit together anatomically. Things fit – you will notice one day if you haven’t noticed. And not only physically but psychologically. Their parts, Adam and Eve’s, man and woman’s parts and their roles, are not interchangeable according to the Bible. You may think you’re Mr. Mom but you’re not.

According to God, He has made you wonderfully, different, and purposefully so equal under creation, equal as the heirs of the grace of God, and He has done it this way for the good of humanity because He knows best. He’s the Creator…Marriage is not a human invention. Marriage is God’s plan and pattern for all of time. People know this!

What God has established from creation no culture has been able to destroy. I guarantee no culture has ever destroyed it; no culture will destroy it. The culture will destroy itself before it destroys God’s design. Hence the fall of Rome. Hence the fall of Greece. Hence the fall of so many of these empires because they said they will have no God to rule over us. We will do it our way…

A destroyed culture will eventually have to stand and acknowledge God is God because from the very beginning what is declared is not culturally contained or limited. It is timeless and it is universal…That’s why the challenges of our day are not about superficial things. They’re not about people’s preferences. They’re about the very central issues of the Godness of God and the humanity of humanity.

So the question is then inevitable. Someone will say in the course of conversation, “How did things get so upside down?”…How will you answer without your Bible? Because in terms of man and woman and in terms of human sexuality all of these elements have been badly soured by man’s rebellion and disobedience to God…Serpent comes and deceives Eve and she listens to the serpent rather than to Adam. Adam listens to Eve instead of fulfilling his responsibility to lead Even and neither of them listen to God and the result is disastrous.

Ye are of your father the devil, and the lusts of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he speaketh a lie, he speaketh of his own: for he is a liar, and the father of it.
John 8:44

A True and Noble Wife

A True and Noble Wife

Written By J. R. Miller

The wife who would always hold in her husband’s heart the place she held on her wedding day will never cease striving to be lovely. She will be as careful of her words and acts and her whole bearing toward him as she was before marriage. She will cultivate in her own life whatever is beautiful, whatever is winning, whatever is graceful.

She will scrupulously avoid whatever is offensive or unwomanly. She will look well to her personal appearance; no woman can be careless in her dress, slatternly, and untidy, and long keep her place on the throne of her husband’s life. She will look well to her inner life. She must have mental attractiveness. She will seek to be clothed in spiritual beauty. He husband must see in her ever-new loveliness as the years move on. As the charms of physical beauty may fade in the toils and vicissitudes of life, there must be more and more beauty of soul to shine out to replace the attractions that are lost.

She should always care more to please him than any other person in the world. She should prize more highly a compliment from his lips than from any other humans lips. Therefore she should reserve for him the sweetest charms; she should seek to bring ever to him some new surprise of loveliness; she should plan pleasures and delights for him.

Instead of not caring how she looks or whether she is agreeable or not when no one but her husband is present, she should always be at her best for him. Instead of being bright and lovely when there is company, then relapsing into languor and silence when the company is gone, she should seek always to be brightest and loveliest when only he and she sit together in the quiet of the home.

Again let me say that no wife can overestimate the influence she wields over he husband, or the measure in which his character, his career and his very destiny are laid in her hands for shaping. The sway which she holds over him is the sway of love, but it is mighty and resistless. If she retains her power, if she holds her place as queen of his life, she can do with him as she will.

If she has in her soul noble womanly qualities, if she has true thought of life, if she has purpose, strength of character and fidelity to principle, she will be to him an unfailing inspiration toward all that is noble, manly and Christlike. The high conceptions of life in her mind will elevate his conceptions. Her firm, strong purpose will put vigor and determination into every resolves and act of his.

Her purity of soul will cleanse and refine his spirit. Her warm interest in all his affairs and her wise counsel at every point will make him strong for every duty and valiant in every struggle. Her careful domestic management will become an important element of success in his business life.

Her bright, orderly, happy homemaking will be a perpetual source of joy and peace, and an incentive to nobler living. Her unwavering fidelity, her tender afffectionateness, her womanly sympathy, her beauty of soul, will make her to him God’s angel indeed, sheltering, guarding, keeping, guiding and blessing him. Just in the measure in which she realizes this lofty ideal of wifehood will she fulfill her mission and reap the rich harvest of her hopes.

Such is the “woman’s lot” that falls on every wife. It is solemn enough to make her very thoughtful and very earnest. How can she make sure that her influence over her husband will be for good, that he will be a better man, more successful in his career and more happy, because she is his wife? Not by any mere moral posturing so as to seem to have lofty purpose and wise thoughts of life, not by any weak resolving to help him and be an uplifting inspiration to him; not by perpetual preaching and lecturing on a husband’s duties and on manly character; she can do it only by being in the very depth of her soul, in every thought and impulse of her heart and in every fibre of her nature, a true and noble woman. She will make him not like what she tells him he ought to be, but like what she herself is.

So it all comes back to a question of character. She can be a good wife only by being a good woman and she can be a good woman in the true sense only by being a Christian woman. Nowhere save in Christ can she find the wisdom and strength she needs to meet the solemn responsibilities of wifehood. Only in Christ can she find that rich beauty of soul, that gemming and empearling of character, which shall make her lovely in her husband’s sight when the bloom of youth is gone, when the brilliance has faded out of her eyes and the roses have fled from her cheeks. Only Christ can teach her how to live so as to be blessed and a blessing to her married life.

Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Proverbs 14:1