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Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

As many of you know, my post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos went viral and is causing quite a stir. I should have definitely titled it “Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” I want to make clear that the audience I teach are those young women who want to learn biblical womanhood as according to God’s instructions in Titus 2:3-5. They love the Lord and His beautiful ways.

I have received almost 90,000 comments on this post on Facebook so far and most of them hate it. (I have thousands of comments on my blog awaiting moderation for this post, so I won’t be publishing any comments on my blog for a while.) To all of you who are believers in Jesus Christ who have debt and have not kept yourself pure, remember that God has made you a new creation in Christ, washed away all of your sin, and now you walk in newness of life!

One godly, wise woman, Jackie Hernandez, shared my post on her Facebook page with this introduction:

“So many women (and some men) are misunderstanding this article. I agree with it 100 per cent. I wish I had received this counsel when I was younger. So, young women, take heed. I would just add that I believe it is GODLY young men who prefer such a woman. This article will not make any sense to a worldly/carnal man, and plus, their desires are much different than that of a Godly man. So that being said, all praise, honor and glory be to God; I have learned from my mistakes (being in debt, being sexually immoral, and I used to have a desire to get a tattoo but never did). I have been delivered from my ungodly sinful past and am now striving to please Him in all things.”

There were a lot of other great comments on Jackie’s thread, too, that I want to share with you:

Stephanie: “I agree. Unfortunately, too many women are taught that they don’t amount to much outside of a career, yes, even in the church. We need to teach our daughters the importance of being a wife and mother, not shipping them off to college because it’s the thing to do. Its very hard to give up a career that you’ve spent so much money and time on for your family. But as a stay at home mom, who homeschools her kids, I know what even an at home job can do to the family.

“Our kids need someone there for them to help them through the stages as they get older. My quite successful at home business is the one decision I regret, even though we needed it at the time. I would rather live in a trailer and have the time to teach my kids to follow Jesus than have the American dream. I urge every Christian mom out there to not give into the temptation to work while raising your kids. If you can do it, do it. Even if it means sacrifice. You will never regret it; we must train up our children in the way that they should go.

“The world will teach them to think differently, this is a battle we must fight for. The influences are very strong, even for those who are homeschooled and active in church. The worldly influences are there, too: they’re on social media, they’re in worldly music, and they’re in movies and TV. We are living in the days of Noah, and we need to protect our children from the evil in the world, and this is not an easy task, but I can say, that when you have done this, you will know that your children are ready to face the world with Jesus, and you will have no fear, because they are grounded in the truth. That is the best feeling ever.”

Aaron: “Great post! Sure to stir up the Facebook friends.

“Tattoos are sin:
Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print ANY marks upon you: I am the Lord.

“Fornication is Sin:
1 Corinthians 7:2
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

“Debt is slavery:
Proverbs 22:7
The rich ruleth over the poor,
and the borrower is servant to the lender.

“This article is speaking to young ladies who might consider getting a tattoo. We know that it is better for a girl not to get a tattoo. If she has a tattoo, it is not something she should be proud of, but it should be a tool that she uses to teach other young ladies not to get tattoos. She should do her best in public to cover her tattoos up. People with tattoos go to heaven, as long as they are repentant of all their past ones, and do not glorify them in the future. Having tattoos, having drank, having smoked, having strange piercings – do any of these things discredit a repentant Christian from being all that they can be for God? No. But I am not proud of anything that I have done, or the scars that I bear for my sins. Lori Alexander spoke 100% what I would say to my future daughters as they grow up.”

Jackie Hernandez to Laura who was offended by my post: “You’re misunderstanding her. She is speaking to young ladies – to women who are not in debt and planning to get loans for college, etc. Those who currently do not have any tattoos and are still virgins. She is warning them and giving them counsel: encouraging them to not ruin their feminine, soft, and delicate skin, to not go into debt because bringing that in a marriage is a burden and can get in the way of raising Godly children and from having any time to please their husband and being a keeper at home, because they’ll be working trying to pay off their debt and to remain pure before marriage – to be the women God created us to be for our future husbands. The way it should be. God’s way.

“Sister, if we read the article in the flesh, then it will surely offend us. But if we read it in the spirit, it should not cause us any offense. I am not a virgin (I was a very sexually immoral woman), and I currently owe some debt which I hope and pray I am able to pay off before marriage because it would be a burden for not only me, but my husband and future children as well. This article did not offend me whatsoever. Pure women, debt-free, and tattoo-free are definitely more attractive and more desirable to a Godly man. The reason that is, is because it’s the way God created us. It’s the way God wants us to be but sadly, many of us have sinned in those areas. However, that does not change the fact that following God’s ways is more attractive.

“Tattoos ruin the beautiful skin of a woman. God created us as feminine creatures with soft and delicate skin. Tattoos take that away but that is not to say we have not been forgiven. We are forgiven if we repent and no longer defile our bodies. But this is simply the truth. Also, that does not mean a Godly man will not desire you. It just means that having tattoos is less attractive because that is not the way God made us – with tattoos. The way God made us IS attractive; there is no denying that fact if we believe that everything He has created is GOOD.

“Entering into a marriage covenant in purity and becoming one flesh with only the man God gave us. It’s a beautiful thing – having no other soul ties. This article actually encouraged me to teach my future daughters that God’s ways are best and truly beautiful (which I wish I was taught when I was younger) and tell them about the consequences of following after the ways of the world.”

Stephanie to Laura: “No one is condemning you. I don’t know why you take offense to the article. A godly man may desire a woman because of her faith, despite her tattoos, debt, and lack of virginity, but he will never be attracted to her because of those things. Yet, a godly man may find a woman who has kept herself pure, her body free from worldly corruption, and free from debt attractive because it is evidence of her true faith.

“I plan to teach my daughters to think about how their actions will affect their future husbands. They are preparing to be wives and mothers. Fornicating, marking our bodies, and becoming burdened with debt (all unbiblical things) are not things that would have our future husbands in mind. You said that you teach young women, but aren’t you concerned that one of these young women might be emboldened to get a tattoo because you have one?

“I hope that you are careful to cover them so that you do not cause a sister or daughter in the faith to sin, without even knowing it. Maybe someone who sees you in this position and notices your tattoos says to themselves, ‘well Laura has one, so it’s not really so bad,’ and justifies their sin this way. Yet, if their godly mentor and teacher has kept herself pure in these things, she is a greater encouragement to the girls, because she is an example that with the Lord’s power, it can be done.

“A man who has been divorced and remarried can never be a preacher or a deacon in the church. Not because he is not washed and cleansed of his previous sins, but because he is a bad example. This is not condemnation, just the fact. Would you rather not put yourself in a position to cause others to sin? So yes, we still deal with our past in a way, but we are not to judge others according to the flesh. It would not be right to judge you by your tattoos and decide you were an ungodly woman but that doesn’t mean it’s attractive.”

Robyn: “I have a tattoo and bad pasts and I can use it all to show young ladies my regret and express to them not to make permanent decisions at a young age. And also express God’s perspective on these things. It also helps me to boast in my weaknesses. And the power of grace which dwells upon me. We can’t pretend the tattoos are invisible when they aren’t and we also must be realistic that the consequence of such sins do follow us into the future. Though they won’t go into heaven with us; we will deal with them beforehand.

“It’s like having several dads to multiple children. One can repent, but the fathers don’t go away and we must deal with what we have done. Our new spouses must also deal with this truth. I cover my tattoo and apologize when it shows. I also glorify God when the opportunity to speak the truth of God’s disapproval on tattoos and plant that seed when it happens. All things work together for the good.”

Beau: “Godly men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos. I’m actually a godly man, and no matter how many times you tell yourself it’s not true, if you are without the humility to admit the truth to yourself, you might not be as desirable as you think.”

Chad: “I have a tattoo, was in debt when I married my wife, and was not a virgin and I 1000 per cent agree with the article. Every one of the items was my rebellion and sin against God and I just was blessed with my wife.”

In conclusion, I want all of you to not just take what I write and believe it all to be true. Search the Scriptures for yourself and find truth there. I am human and fallible. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me all of the time. I only agree with the Bible 100 percent! I try very hard to stay true and faithful to the Word of God. I have studied it for many years.

Along with teaching from the Word, I teach from my life experiences since I am 60 years old in a few weeks and have been married almost 38 years. I have raised four children to adulthood and now am enjoying being a grandmother. I am NOT the final authority on Truth. Only God’s Word is so please, be a Berean and study the Word for yourself so you can easily distinguish between truth and that which is not true. Make sure your convictions are based upon the Word of God.

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
Acts 17:11

A More Likely Way That Leads to Marital Satisfaction

A More Likely Way That Leads to Marital Satisfaction

A few months ago, my dad listened to Gary Thomas on “Focus on the Family.” My dad liked what Mr. Thomas had to say so much that he bought Thomas’ book “A Lifelong Love” for all of his children and their spouses and all of his grandchildren and their spouses. I was the first one he gave the book to and I’m very skeptical about marriage books but this book is fabulous! Both of my sisters think it’s the best marriage book they’ve ever read, although I still believe “Created to Be His Help Meet” by Debi Pearl is the best marriage book for wives since it clearly explains their role in marriage.

We are going through this book in the chat room but I wanted to make chapter six into a post because I believe it is that good. The title is “A Monk’s Marriage.” I will give some quotes directly from the book but I encourage you all to buy it! It’s rich with great marriage advice.

Fourteenth-century Augustinian Canon Regular Walter Hilton mimicked many classical writers when he urged believers to pursue the spirit of detachment, to the point where we literally ‘put no kind of trust in the possession of any worldly goods, or in the help or favor of any worldly friend, but principally and entirely in God. For if he does otherwise, he binds himself to the world, and therefore he cannot be free to think about God.’

Isn’t it true that many marital arguments result from disappointment with our spouses? We want them to be something or do something or catch something and they aren’t or they don’t, and we feel sorry for ourselves. We really do want them to love us like God loves us.

But what if I sought a ‘monk’s marriage’? What if I decided that I would depend on God alone, expecting nothing from my spouse but depending entirely on God for all my needs, including emotional and relational needs?

Then, instead of resenting what my spouse doesn’t do, I’ll be overwhelmed (in a good way) by every little thing he does do. I’ll be filled with gratitude instead of resentment…expecting nothing, depending on God, and genuinely grateful for whatever my spouse chooses to bless me with.

I realize we can take this too far. God won’t fertilize your yard when your husband is watching the game. God won’t meet our sexual needs. There are duties that seem reasonable that we want our spouses to meet, but put this in another context: Do you expect a spouse who has a broken back to fertilize your yard? Do you expect a woman in a severe state of Alzheimer’s to meet your sexual needs? The time may come when your spouse simply can’t meet those ‘legitimate’ needs, and what will you do then?

Now, let’s ask if it’s ‘can’t meet those needs’ or ‘won’t meet those needs,’ does it really matter, as far as our call to love them is concerned? Aren’t we allowing them to hold our contentment hostage in either case?

Do I live to please humans, to be noticed by them and appreciated by them, or do I live to please God? Reread Galatians 1:10 and see how important this is. We think the problem is our spouses’ insensitivity, apathy, even cruelty. Time and again, both Scripture and the Christian classics point us back to our pride as the real enemy of marriage and Christlikeness.

What is more likely to lead to true marital satisfaction – getting a fallen spouse to change his or her ways, or changing your own focus so that you draw your affirmation from a God who never disappoints, never turns you away?”

For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

The Feminist Additions to Titus 2

The Feminist Additions to Titus 2

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober (most of the time), to love their husbands (if they make them happy), to love their children (which includes leaving their children all day so they can have a career), to be discreet (this doesn’t mean they can’t do what they want to do), chaste (but living with their boyfriend before marriage is okay), keepers at home (but they still can have careers), obedient to their own husbands (only if their husbands love them as Christ loves the Church), that the word of God be not blasphemed.” (Titus 2:3-5)

This is how feminist-minded women want me to teach biblical womanhood. I often hear, “Why do you only tell what a woman’s role is? What about husbands loving their wives as Christ loved the Church?” and “You’re a woman hater!”

According to God, women are to be sober at all times. They are to love their husbands even if their husbands don’t make them “happy.” (As believers, happiness is not what we strive after but walking in the Spirit and obeying God are our goals in life.) Women are to love their children enough to sacrifice whatever it takes in order to be the ones home raising them, if at all possible, and we know with the Lord that all things are possible. They are to be feminine and discreet in everything including breastfeeding. They are to be keepers at home and this is where their work is to be done. All of these are God’s commands not mine.

 Wives are commanded to be “obedient to their own husbands.” Period. There are no qualifications or exceptions given in this verse so I teach young women to be obedient to their husbands since they need to focus upon this more than what submission doesn’t mean. (Of course, we must take the Bible as a whole and know that God’s will overrides a husband’s will.) I will never teach them that their husbands should love them like Christ loves the church since wives have no control over their husband’s behavior.

What benefit is there for women teaching this any ways? If a wife will only obey her husband if he loves her as Christ loved the Church, she then becomes the judge and jury towards her husband. “Is he loving me as Christ loved the Church? Of course not, therefore, I refuse to obey him.” No husband is perfect and having expectations about how a husband is to treat her makes for bad marriages. She needs to focus upon herself and make sure that she is obeying the Lord with a meek and quiet spirit while the Holy Spirit works mightily within her.

The way God worded the verses above, He made it clear that wives are to focus upon their own behavior and not try to convict or change their husband’s. It’s not their job. It’s their job to work on loving and obeying their husband, loving their children, becoming discreet, chaste, sober, good, and keepers at home.

But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves.
James 1:22

The Biblical Reason for Marriage

The Biblical Reason for Marriage

“My mom lived her life the way you teach. She married young and had a bunch of children. She submitted to my dad but he divorced her so she was left alone with all of these children and no way to make a living. Your way doesn’t work and is destructive for women.”

This is a story I have heard over and over again but with a few different details. Because of this story according to them, women need to flee biblical womanhood and live their lives as feminists instead who can take care of themselves! Well, how about this story that I hear over and over again with slightly different details?

“My mom was a raging feminist. She had a high profile career so she put me into daycare when I was a baby and I rarely saw her. She was too tired to do much with me when she came home at night or give anything to my dad. She eventually divorced my dad because she wasn’t happy. I want to do better for my family!”

I can tell you one thing, before the 1960s, most families were like the first story (full-time mothers at home, dads the provider, and more than a few children) and there weren’t nearly the amount of divorces or children being raised by single mothers as there are today. Not even close.

We must not base our experiences or other’s experiences upon whether or not to obey the Word of God. God doesn’t promise us perfect lives if we follow His will. No, He promises that we will experience tribulation but we are to take heart; for He has overcome the world. Therefore, we live out biblical womanhood and leave the results with Him.

From what I have seen, the godly women who are marrying, bearing children, and guiding the home as unto the Lord are much more content and joyful about their lives than those “biblical feminists” who make sure they have a career, put off marriage, then maybe have a child or two if they feel like it.

Marriage isn’t about making us happy and doing our own thing, as feminists would have us believe today. “The biblical reason for marriage is to produce fruit for God. Marriage is to produce children and to make the earth fruitful for God. Christian marriage, in other words, is God-centered (producing what God wants) rather than me- or us-centered (meeting my or our desires)” (John Piper).

God’s will for young women is to marry, bear children, and guide the home. It’s that simple. We aren’t promise that there won’t be suffering, heartache, and pain along the way but we can rest assured that God, who owns everything, will never leave nor forsake us.

And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed.
Malachi 2:15

Submission Defined By Elisabeth Elliott

Submission Defined By Elisabeth Elliott

Written By Elisabeth Elliot from her newsletter in 2002

“Submission”—what does it mean? The question, asked of me by women only, never seems to refer to submission to civil law, military officers, the boss, or the schoolteacher. It’s submission to a husband that is the sticking point.

Instead of resorting to Webster this time, I’ll give you Oswald Chambers’ definition: “Etymologically [looking at the basic meaning of the word], submission means surrender to another, but in the evangelical sense it means that I conduct myself actually among men as the submissive child of my Father in heaven.”

Let’s look first at the Son of God, perfect in His submission to His Father. His whole life on earth demonstrated an unconditional surrender to that glorious will: “Then said I, Lo, I come (in the volume of the book it is written of me,) to do thy will, O God” (Hebrews 10:7).

Do we want to follow Him in this? “Yes,” we say. But then, what if the will of the Father happens to be our submission to the will of a man?

Nothing could be less to our liking. We search for every loophole.

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22).

Many are the discussions I’ve heard on this one, almost all of them directed to what it “can’t possibly mean,” rather than to the plain word of the Lord. The statement is simple. Not easy for women like me, but simple, that is, I understand it only too well. (As Mark Twain said, “I have far more trouble with the things I do understand in the Bible than things I don’t understand.”)

Worst-case scenarios are immediately put forward. “What if my husband asks me to do something immoral?” Heads nod vigorously. Cases are described. But the question was what submission means. Chambers has put it well—that I conduct myself as God’s child. The spirit of God’s Son was the spirit of submission, no questions asked as to His own safety or comfort, no effort to engineer things for Himself, but rather an utter handing over of all His powers to His Father, a perfect confidence that the consequences of this obedience lay in His Father’s hands.

“But my husband is fallible,” some say. So is mine. But my submission to him is obedience to God. How far am I prepared to trust myself into my Father’s hands? That’s the real question. We must learn to submit our “what ifs” and “yeah, buts.” To the humble and honest soul who does not proudly and arrogantly assume that God’s arrangement of things will not “work” in her case, the light of grace will always be given.

“But Elisabeth, you don’t seem to realize that my case is an exception!” Is it? Then it’s not my business. I try to stick to what the Bible does say, not to what it doesn’t say. He didn’t give us any footnotes. Take your special case to the foot of the cross. Have a long, honest look at it there. Let the light of Christ illuminate your situation.

Why should a wife submit to a husband rather than the reverse? Are we not equal? No, not equal in the sense of interchangeable. The heart of the matter is a mystery: the mystery of Christ and the Church. Try reading Ephesians 5:22-24, reversing the nouns. It’s nonsense. God arranged husbands and wives in different positions, each representing a tremendous verity: the husband represents Christ; the wife, the Church, His Bride. This is a divine assignment, not chosen, earned, or deserved by either husband or wife, not conferred by either on the other, but designated by God Himself. I am thankful for this arrangement because I know it is a revelation of divine wisdom and love, given for our freedom and peace.

I have been thinking, talking, writing about this for years. I confess that I am not Exhibit A of the submissive woman, but in my old age the Lord in His wonderful patience and mercy is showing me how simple it is just to keep my mouth shut. That’s what it comes down to most of the time. Sometimes, of course, my responsibility as a helper for my husband requires my calling to his attention something he has overlooked. Even if he ignores my advice, do I fall in with it graciously? Most of my testings come in the little things, when I automatically want to put forward my own preferences, arguments, logic, clarifications.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22

Men Are Battered For Being Sexual Beings

Men Are Battered For Being Sexual Beings

Written By Anonymous

Thank you for this article Sex is Basic to Marriage. Thoughts on two points immediately come to mind:

“When wives deprive their husbands, they are opening up their husbands to be tempted by Satan. This is not good at all! We are to do nothing to cause our brothers to stumble, no, not even our husbands.”

This is so true. However, the modern husband is expected to “suck it up.” “Be a man and serve your wife,” etc. It’s as if God’s design for the husband’s desire of his wife was an error that needs to be suppressed. I’d give a million bucks to not just have sex with my wife on a regular basis, but to have her understand that my desire for her is not a perversion. I’m not “sick in the head” for wanting my wife. I’m not a pervert for desiring her. There’s nothing wrong with me for thinking she’s sexy. Or is there? Maybe I’m missing something and God’s design is faulty. I just want to be desired by her.

“Most husbands probably tell their wives how much they want sex but not to the extent since they know how their wives will respond. More rejection. This is why God commands older women to teach younger women to love their husbands which includes satisfying them sexually.”

The rejection is torture. Plain and simple. I believe that a big part of the problem, at least in Christian homes, can be laid at the feet of the church. Women, do any of your women’s lunches, special speakers, etc. discuss the importance of sex with your husbands? Do they discuss the importance of husbands, or are husbands trampled on as ignorant cave men completely out of touch with today’s refined woman? It seems that the latter is the norm of sinful society. I hope it’s not the norm for church meetings.

Ladies’ groups appear to be all about boosting a women’s self-esteem. “Look at yourself through God’s eyes.” “How is your relationship with God today?” At least, that’s how it looks from the advertisements in the church lobby.

Men get battered over the head in our groups for being sexual beings, do women hear any similar straight talk about your role for your husbands? I’ve been in church a loooong time, and I can’t think of one time I’ve ever heard a sermon putting any responsibility on the wife in this manner. It’s as if the Song of Solomon was never written.

Ladies, you want a different husband? Desire him. Love him. You probably don’t have to have sex every time, but let him look at you, touch you, etc. Let him know he’s not a pervert for desiring you. Let him know he’s not broken for wanting you. Uplift him. He’s only human…just like you. You’ll change his life. I promise. If you don’t do that, the consequences will be your responsibility.

Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
1 Corinthians 7:5

Wives are to Submit to ONE Man

Wives are to Submit to ONE Man

There is a good reason that the Lord commands wives to ask their husbands at home if they have a question concerning something that is said at church or they want the elders to “fix” their husbands. “And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church” (1 Corinthians 14:35). 1 Peter 3:1 is God’s prescription for how wives are to win disobedient husbands. Our husband is the head over us, not our church leaders!

Here is an excellent article written on this subject by Ken Cascio at wickedshepherds.com. He is seeing way too many marriages destroyed because women are going to their elders for advice instead of their husbands.

Ladies, your closeness with your husband means a distance from every man who isn’t, and that ESPECIALLY includes men who claim to be your so-called “spiritual overseers!”

Submitting to your “church leaders” renders it impossible to submit to one’s own husband. Submission to your own husband means faithfulness to him, and to him alone, which means saying “NO” to any other man or group of men who are vying for your submission also!

Dear married sisters in Christ, be not deceived! You owe absolutely no submission WHATSOEVER to those who posture to be your “church leaders.”

There are many cases where a pastor has deliberately placed himself between a husband and wife and used his so-called pastoral authority as a means of manipulating them both into personal loyalty to himself.

If either the husband or wife becomes in any way critical of the church or his ministry, the pastor will “counsel” the other mate (usually the wife) to put pressure on the first one to repent, and if no repentance was to follow, then the next step in counseling would be separation and/or divorce.

This was done on the ground that “your mate’s soul is in danger” because they were daring to question God’s “duly authorized” minister. One dear Christian lady was under such pressure to force her husband to submit to the pastor’s authority that she felt she was being torn in half. She told someone, “I feel like I must choose between the two most important men in my life.”

The person wisely answered, “God never intended you to have two men in your life in any sense where you had to make a choice between them.”

My friend, when loyalty to, or dependence upon, any church or any “church leader” ever comes close to being equal to your loyalty and love to your husband or wife, then you are so sick spiritually that you can’t think straight.

A woman for example, is under no obligation whatsoever to submit to any man except her husband; not to the “head pastor,” or his “fellow elders,” or his clones, or his wannabies, or anybody. The Scripture says, to “their own husbands.”

Some foolish women have been brainwashed into believing that they are supposed to submit to their pastor more than their own husband. This is sinful.

When those in “positions of leadership” in the church, or anyone else, tampers with someone’s marriage… THEY ARE TREADING HOLY GROUND!

SETTING THE STAGE

But you might say, “How can these things be? How is it possible that husbands and wives have allowed their marriage to be invaded; taken over; and then destroyed by this horrendous practice in church leadership?”

Many of these men that are “exercising the oversight” in the church are professionals and are well experienced in their diabolical schemes. They are able to effectively instill carnal fear in the congregation very rapidly. A simple twisting of Scripture; the pronouncement to “obey your god-given elders”; the waving of their pointed finger in your face along with their raised voices, is all that it takes for many people to succumb to its folly.

Families, and wives in particular, are falsely being taught from many pulpits today that the “eldership” and/or “pastors” have a “supposed” authority and rulership that reaches higher and is even greater than what a husband and father has in the home, especially when it comes to “spiritual matters.”

This is total unbiblical nonsense. And unless many people start to wake up and take notice and learn, many more marriages are going to be destroyed. (You can read the rest of the article HERE)

But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:24

Not Liking Being Called the Weaker Vessel

Not Liking Being Called the Weaker Vessel

Written By Kaylee Marie Lim, one very wise woman!

The role of being a perfectly fit helper does not make one inferior to the leader.

“There is no loss of dignity in subordination when it serves a higher purpose. God made you to be a help meet to your husband so you can bolster him, making him more productive and efficient at whatever he chooses to do.” (Debi Pearl)

I only learned this when I humbled my heart enough for the Lord to teach me and give me the wisdom I needed to break free of feminism upon my mind. Paul’s writings in the New Testament bothered me, especially being called the “weaker vessel” in 1 Peter 3:7. I didn’t feel I was needed in this role or fulfilling my potential as a woman of God. So I marked off these teachings as not being inspired by God… Yet I knew I was missing something and continued to read my Bible…

The Lord fell on my spirit when I read…

1 Corinthians 12:22 ~ “Nay, much more those members of the body, which seem to be more feeble, are necessary.”

Which God made me recall the chapter before…

1 Corinthians 11:3 ~ “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

Instant conviction that I hadn’t been doing my role as I should have been. 1 Corinthians 12 isn’t talking about marriage but rather the church body… Nonetheless it convicted me to stop coveting a man’s role in the disguise of “equality.” I needed to accept that I am a weaker vessel… More feeble… Despite being weaker/feeble… I was still necessary and had a God-given role to fulfill.

No longer allowing fear, vulnerability, lies, independence, rebellion, excuses, pride, victimization, etc. to blind me and block my relationship with the Lord… I had to have faith that Abba knows best.

Proverbs 31, 1 Corinthians 11, 1 Corinthians 14:33-35, Ephesians 5:20-24, 1 Timothy 2:9-15, Titus 2:3-5, 1 Peter 3:1-7. Read these verses and if your spirit is bothered/annoyed by these verses than ask God for wisdom. Ask Him to teach you. Humble yourself to be willing to learn the Lord’s Will for your life. He will answer you as He answered me.

She Married a Monster

She Married a Monster

Written By Matt McMillen

Years ago, my grandma had an angel appear to her as she swept the kitchen floor, late at night, praying.

Let me give you some background on my grandma: she is a saint, who married a monster. Nobody caused this sweet lady more unnecessary pain than my grandfather. Grandpa was an alcoholic, an abuser, a philanderer, and just about the exact opposite of Grandma.

Grandma said she married him because he said if she didn’t, he would kill himself. In her loving innocence, she actually believed him. The terror that my grandfather caused, not just my grandma, but also my dad, uncle, and aunts, was something out of a horror movie–but, they still had Grandma. Just like Grandma stepped up in my own personal childhood, to make a nightmare better, she did the same for her own kids as well. She never gave up.

Grandpa didn’t want anything to do with God, and he didn’t want Grandma going to church because he said she would “find another man” or “blow money.” Fact of the matter was, that’s what he thought about all the time, not Grandma. Grandma couldn’t care less about the attention of other men, or money. She cared about Jesus, and what He wanted from her.

She told me a story about how one Sunday morning as she was getting ready for church, Grandpa said, “I’ll kill you before you go to church!” He went in the other room, got a gun, came back and pointed it at her. She told me that she prayed to God, “I’m ready if you want me to come home. I don’t want to go, but I’m ready.” Grandpa lowered the gun, and said, “I’m not gonna kill you today, but I’m gonna kill you tomorrow.” Grandma said she didn’t come home that day, instead she stayed at a friend’s house.

IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE NIGHTMARE THAT MY GRANDPA WAS, AND WHAT MY GRANDMA PUT UP WITH, IT WOULD BAFFLE YOUR MIND! HER COMMITMENT TO HER WEDDING VOWS, TO GOD, AND TO HIM, IS MIND-BLOWING!

I’ve asked her many times, “Why didn’t you just leave him?” She said she planned on it quite often, and then one night, she had a dream that Grandpa died and went to hell. After that, she completely removed the word “divorce” from her mind. She said she knew that God wanted her to stay, and that He had a greater purpose for her pain.

Had she left, you would not be reading this right now.

Instead of leaving, she used his hate for good. She committed herself to loving someone who was unlovable, just like Jesus does. Grandpa’s loathing of my grandma made her know God better, and deeper. And now, that’s been passed on to later generations. She didn’t run from the devil, she fought him head on, and she has a legacy for it.

So as Grandma swept the kitchen floor, late that night in the 1960’s, praying for Grandpa (no telling what he was out doing, probably at a bar), and her kids, an angel appeared before her.

The story I’ve heard a hundred times is, “I looked up–it was the brightest thing I’ve ever seen! It was transparent and it covered the entire wall! It was beautiful!” Frightened, Grandma gasped out loud, “No Lord, not now!” thinking, in her own words, “The angel had come to take me home”—and just like that—it disappeared.

Now if you ask her about this event, she’ll tell you that she knows the angel had a message for her. She’ll say that she wishes she didn’t respond how she did, because she wanted to know what it had to say…she’ll find out when she gets to heaven. I’m very curious as well.

So today, my friends, know this: Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God” (Matthew 5:8). My grandma has a pure heart, as do all believers in Christ, but because of just how deep her dependency on Him ran, she got to see an actual angel. I don’t know anyone who has a deeper relationship with God, than Granny Mac. She never gave up on what He wanted her to do–she loved Him and her family too much. She allowed Christ to live through her on such a grand scale, that her pain was rewarded with a view of heaven while still here on earth. She is an inspiration to me. I want to see angels too, don’t you?

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.
Galatians 2:20

***I wrote Matt and asked him if his grandfather eventually believed in Jesus Christ as His Savior and he told me that he did!

Are Wives Raising Their Husbands?

Are Wives Raising Their Husbands?

Dale Partridge wrote this on his Facebook page a few days ago. “The deeper Veronica and I get into the ministry of marriage, the more we’re realizing that wives are basically raising their husbands. They’ve become the mother to an aged male. A boy masquerading in boots with a mortgage and a video game addiction. Instead of having a marriage with a man who orders his life to serve, equip, and instruct his family how to follow God, they’ve got a husband and a father who needs to be weaned off fantasy football, guy nights, and lazy days on the couch.”

I have a few thoughts about this. I believe women are reaping what they have been sowing since the 60s. Feminism has caused so much destruction in it’s path, including the breakup of homes and boys being raised without fathers. Even if fathers are around, the mothers interfere with the fathers trying to toughen up their sons by saying their husbands are being too hard on their sons. None of these situations are conducive to raising good, responsible men.

I tried “raising” Ken when we were first married. I wanted him to help with the housework, not watch so much TV, not eat so much junk food, etc. I had a laundry list that I was trying to train him up with. All of these were NOT my responsibility and I’m afraid when women see a comment like the one above, they will wholeheartedly agree and continue to try to raise their husbands in these areas.

Yes, there are some husbands who haven’t grown up and still act irresponsibly and not as men, as the men Dale was referring to in his post. The only way a wife can TRY to raise a husband up like this is to speak the truth in love to him, set boundaries if need be (especially if his actions are dangerous or destructive), and seek wise counsel about the situation. Wives don’t have a great capacity to raise up their husbands unless the Lord uses their “chaste conversation” to win them “without the word” which is God’s prescription in 1 Peter 3:1-6.

We must be so careful about defining “being raised” since most women are using the term to simply say they are trying to change the behavior or habits of their husbands that they don’t like or agree with. This isn’t our job to do. It’s women’s innate desire to change (raise up) their husbands to their standards and it’s not a good desire. The more we learn to be satisfied with the man we married, the more content we will be. Besides, as we treat them with kindness, respect, love, and gentleness, we will most likely reap what we are sowing.

…and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33