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Category: Child Raising

The Inner Vacuum of Emptiness

The Inner Vacuum of Emptiness

Many today feel a deep sense of emptiness so they try to fill it with drugs, sex, entertainment, money, and many other things. Why is this so common today? Dr. Archibald Hart in his book “Me, Myself, and I” has a good explanation.

Psychologically, this inner vacuum (feeling of emptiness) is exacerbated by a strange cultural paradox: the self in our time is expected to function in a highly autonomous and isolated way. As the defined norms for health, we ‘individuate’ and ‘differentiate’ very early in life. Most of us are forced to separate from the family, to stand alone, and ‘be ourselves’ by being sent to school.

Much of what we now see in clinical practice are not major aberrations of the mind, but rather disorders of the self – ranging from sexual identity problems, to feelings of being uncared for, or trying to escape one’s existence through various addictions. Most modern people suffer from a profound erosion of self-worth, interpersonal success, conflict, and identity problems.”

How can we expect to raise healthy children into healthy adults when most parents send their children off to schooling for most of their childhood and the children have to fend for themselves at young ages instead of being nurtured, trained, disciplined, and cared for by their parents in the safe environment of their home? How can we expect anything different from the results we are seeing in our culture when many children are being raised without a mother and father? What about children not being raised full time by their mothers but instead being raised by strangers who can’t possibly love them as much as their mothers love them?

It’s the parents’ job to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. It’s their responsibility to give them self-worth by giving them plenty of love and affection along with protecting them with boundaries and discipline. Many parents have abdicated this role to strangers and we, as a culture, are reaping bad fruit as a result.

How come when I encourage married couples to stay married until “death do you part” as God commands, do women have to swarm my Facebook post about them or someone they know being in an abusive relationship and are so thankful they got out? Why can’t they just leave it be and hope it encourages the many who are divorcing because they are not “fulfilled” or not “happy” or have found “their soul mate” who is not their husband, hopefully be convicted by what I write at least for their children’s sake? Am I not supposed to teach women to stay married until death to they part because some women have been or are in abusive relationships (yes, they need to seek protection)? I will continue to teach the truth of God’s Word and pray it will convict those who read it.

God tells us that His people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Many today who hate God’s ways aren’t having children but Christians still are. The problem is that many of these Christians then send their children off all day to be educated by those who hate God and His ways then lose their children to the world.

Women, we are a remnant and must live in obedience to God with His Spirit working mightily with us! We must stay married, bear children, and raise godly offspring as God has commanded that we do. Protect the remnant from the evil of this day and age. Read the Word of God instead of learning the wicked ways of this world.

Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 11:18, 19

Making Child Raising a Delight!

Making Child Raising a Delight!

There is a huge mistake going on among many parents today. They don’t want to say “no” to their children. They don’t want to correct them. They don’t want to discipline them or use the rod on their bottoms for disobedience. They don’t want to link sin and pain together. They want to be their children’s friend instead of their parent. They want their children to have “freedom of expression.” This is not raising children in wisdom; for God’s Word tells us to raise our children opposite of this foolish way.

“The rod and reproof give wisdom but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Proverbs 29:15).

“The rod and reproof give wisdom,…. Are the means of giving wisdom to a child, reproved by its parent with the rod; and of driving out foolishness from him, and of making him wiser for the time to come; he shunning those evils for which he was before corrected, Proverbs 22:15; So the children of God grow wiser by the corrections and chastisements of their heavenly Father, which are always for their good; and he is a man of wisdom that hearkens to the rod, and to him that has appointed it, and learns the proper instructions from it, Micah 6:9” (Gill’s Exposition).

I had previously thought that parents were not allowed to use anything but a hand to spank their children if they live in California but I was wrong. “Spanking your child with an object other than your hand is also legal, but it must not be excessive in relation to the circumstances which led to the punishment.” We are still allowed to use a “rod” on children anywhere in America as long as it does not physically injure the child. I pray this never changes since this is biblical! Spanking must bring short-term pain to a child in order to accomplish long-term gain.

“…but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame; a child that has the reins thrown upon his neck, is under no restraint of parents, but suffered to take his own way, is left to do his own will and pleasure; he does those things which his parents are ashamed of, one as well as another; though the mother is only mentioned, being generally most fond and indulgent, and most criminal in suffering children to have their own wills and ways; and so has the greater share in the shame that follows on such indulgences.” (Gill’s Exposition)

I have personally witnessed parents who do not spank and discipline their children. Their children grow up to have little to no self-control and live a life of destruction. They don’t fear sin because they weren’t taught to fear it as a child. Most of them have grown old with many regrets.

Yes, it’s usually the mother who doesn’t want to “harm” the child because women are more sensitive and emotional. I have also seen women interfere with their husbands’ discipline of the children and this is devastating for the children’s future. We must never be led by our feelings or emotions but live by the truth of God’s Word. The Lord knows that children need a rod when they misbehave because He knows the seriousness and the destructiveness of sin. The sooner parents nip this in the bud, the better for all.

“Correct they son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul” (Proverbs 29:17). We are commanded to chasten our children as God chastens us. Chasten means to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming an offender. We chastened our children with a “rod” when they were young and disobedient. It hurt and it worked! None of them would say they were physically abused and none of them are abusive as many proclaim of those who were spanked. Child raising was a pleasure for us since our children obeyed us and were pleasant to be around. They definitely brought delight to our soul!

“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest,…. Ease of mind, satisfaction and contentment, freedom from all anxious thoughts and cares; the correction being taken in good part, and succeeding according to wish and design;

“Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul; by his tenderness to his parents, obedience to them, and respect for them; by his prudent behaviour among men; by his sobriety, diligence, and industry in his calling; by his fear of God, and walking in his ways; than which nothing can give a greater delight and pleasure to religious parents.”

The pain of a spanking has to be greater than the joy of their disobedience. “I believe one of the reasons the Bible speaks so clearly about child discipline is that it doesn’t come naturally to most mothers. We don’t like to see our toddlers cry, and we don’t like to be the cause of their tears. But firm, loving discipline at this age saves many tears and much heartache later on.” (Helen Aardsma)

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Proverbs 19:18

Parenting Resolution Revolution

Parenting Resolution Revolution

Written by John Rosemond

Given that this is the first column of a new year, I’m proposing a number of parenting New Year’s Resolutions for my readers to consider. The list is by no means comprehensive. It’s just a good beginning on what is probably a much-needed family revolution:

1. We will not throw expensive “event parties” for our children on their birthdays. Instead, we will confine all birthday celebrations to our family, including extended family. We will keep it uncomplicated: a special dinner of the birthday boy or girl’s favorite food, a cake, the song, and a few simple gifts, mostly clothing or other useful things.

2. We will spend at least as much time helping our children develop good manners as we do helping them get good grades in school, which means we will cut back significantly on the time helping with the latter (in consideration of the fact that good manners, which are expressions of respect for others, will take one further in life than will good grades). Each week, we will work on one specific social courtesy, such as saying “excuse me” when you walk in front of someone. Taking two weeks off, that’s 50 courtesies a year!

3. We will show our love for our neighbors by properly disciplining our children, insisting on proper behavior, and reprimanding immediately (even if that means in front of other people) when they behave otherwise, and on those occasions we will also insist they apologize appropriately.

4. If we have not already done so, we will assign a routine of daily chores to each of our children (at least those who have reached their third birthdays) and we will insist that the chores be done, and done properly, before they engage in recreation or relaxation.

5. When our children ask us for cell phones, we will tell them that they may have cell phones when they are able to pay for them as well as the monthly bills.

6. When our children complain that they are the only kids who don’t have cell phones (and do chores), we will tell them that learning how to be different is character-building.

7. Our children will not be able to order customized meals unless we take them to a restaurant. At home, they will eat what we are eating, and they will sit at the table until they are finished. We will do this so that when they are invited to eat at someone else’s home, they will be the best of guests.

8. We will surely bond with our children, but we will not bond with them in the marital bed, nor will we bond with them in their beds.

9. In keeping with number 8, we will put our marriage first and our children second, for their sake as well as ours. They will revolve around us; thus, they will not grow up thinking the world revolves around them.

…bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
Ephesians 6:4

Stop Believing False Studies on Spankings

Stop Believing False Studies on Spankings

Since I wrote about the devastating effects of Dr. Spock’s child raising book, I thought I would share what others think about spanking children. It seems we are constantly being told how the “studies” prove that spankings are bad for children and just plain wrong. In fact, a 50-year study proved that spanking children is just as bad as physical abuse.  “We as a society think of spanking and physical abuse as distinct behaviors. Yet our research shows that spanking is linked with the same negative child outcomes as abuse, just to a slightly lesser degree.”

I know this isn’t true since parents have been spanking their children for centuries. I decided to look at the comments on the Facebook that shared this study (which isn’t a Christian site) to see what others had to say about this article and I was pleasantly surprised!

“And for 50 years society has demanded that there be no spanking and look what has happened to our kids. No respect of adults or other people’s property or lives. I for one am glad I was not listening!” (Inger)

“Watch nature. A mother bear will cuff her cub to keep it in line! All animals control their young with physical means, and GOD did tell us if you spare the rod, you spoil the child. A spanking is not meant to be a beating, just enough to get their attention.” (Joan)

“Funny how back in the day when a parent could discipline their children and not have the law or society call them out for ‘beating’ their child, we never had school shootings, or all of these disrespectful little thugs running around….” (Chrissie)

“There is a difference between abuse and spanking as one form of discipline. My parents varied our punishments to fit the ‘crime.’ Actually I much preferred a spanking (moderate) to not allowing me to ride my horse for a week. Discipline’s purpose is to help the child remember, keep them safe, and learn self-control.” (Ginny)

“Nah… I’m still gonna spank my kid. Worked for me, works for her as well. Whip her a** now, or get her out of jail later for being an entitled brat…” (Jon)

“Spanking properly with love is discipline in which in our society less children are receiving! Children are left to themselves to self indulge, and the lack of self control belongs to the child. There are adults who abuse, but calling every adult that properly disciplines one who lack self control is b**. A child properly disciplined and spanked if unruly, you’ll find a well behaved child that’s a joy to be around! A no brainer!” (Jennifer)

“I started spanking my son before he started walking. No, I didn’t beat him. I said what I meant and meant what I said. I didn’t count to three (hate that). By the time he was in grade school, the spankings stopped for the most part, I trained him early. Kids aren’t stupid. Talk to your kids, don’t yell.” (Peggy)

“It’s not violent. A smack on the butt and then explain to the child. The Bible says spare the rod, spoil the child. Look at the mess our kids are in today: out of control, drugs, because they had no consequence. No one should beat a child. That’s wrong.” (Carolyn)

“I’m not convinced. How is it that children who were raised getting a spanking they earned grew up with manners and respect? We are not talking about child abuse but, rather a swat on the butt. They didn’t go around shooting up their schools even though in many places they had access to guns, whether at school or at home.” (Elizabeth)

“There is a huge difference between spanking (discipline) and beating (anger). Spanking needs to be done more often. Beating needs to stop.” (Christy)

I am thankful there are some wise people still left on this planet who are raising well disciplined children.

Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Proverbs 22:15

One of the Most Important Child Raising Articles You Will Ever Read!

One of the Most Important Child Raising Articles You Will Ever Read!

Written By Debi Pearl

When you allow children to be unduly indulged over a period of time, they come to think that it is their right. When it is taken away, they will respond with rage.

We live in a society where meltdowns are an acceptable part of life. In former generations, even the worst parents did not produce mass shooters. The most recent bombing spree was committed by a homeschooler from a Christian, church-going family. It is quite obvious that the majority of children today are being imprinted with something destructive rather than creative. People live in an agitated state, trying to force others to do things their way or be the object of their rage.

You can see this in its developmental stage every day in the supermarket. A few years ago, we were all shocked to see an out-of-control 2-year-old screaming for sugar-coated cereal, but things have changed so much that today we don’t even raise an eyebrow when we see a 7-year-old on the floor, thrashing and screaming. It is sickening to see a child that old without a shred of dignity or self-control—an inseparable pair. We are raising a generation without dignity, honor, or righteousness. They have no shame. Reclaiming the conscience is key for prison inmates to regain their integrity. That is a scary thought. Are we raising a generation of what will become a lawless people? A child who is trained to VALUE delayed gratification will be embarrassed when he witnesses another child acting with such a lack of propriety. Rage and acting-out to get one’s way are learned habits that develop early but groove a child’s brain deeply.

Rage is a word we once used only for the emotionally or mentally unstable, and rightly so. Rage is only possible when one believes that he has been deprived of his due. Today’s teens are living in a state of extreme rage and are playing out this rage in gaming, bullying, and worse. Among adults, road rage is now common.

Rage is crippling our children, our families, and our nation. Our children are gradually becoming less equipped to deal with even minor stressors, which eventually become huge obstacles to their success in life. Expect it to get much worse in society as a whole. It should be our goal to train up our children in the way they should go so that when others are raging, they are serving.

Take stock of yourself and the way you relate to your children. Today’s society, today’s “rules,” and today’s expectations all make you believe you must give your children what they demand. Don’t fall into this mindset.

Good Training Is Groovy

When we speak of training we are NOT talking about spanking. Training is just that, training. Our daughter trains her children in the art of fine dining. When they go out to eat at a restaurant, she helps them read and understand the menu, encourages them to ask the waitress questions about the meal they are considering, and allows them to be the one who pays for the family. Lastly, but most importantly, she makes sure they understand the value of the person who is serving them. She is training them in social behaviors. You get what you train for.

Training takes away the fear of ordinary situations; it builds confidence that comes with knowing how to perform any number of tasks. Everyday skills are becoming a lost art. Changing a tire was something all 10-year-old boys could do just a few years back, but now most boys would be in the car pitching a fit because they wanted a candy bar or they wanted to play games on mom’s phone. All this while mom called for someone to come fix the flat.

All children were once trained to cook, especially the girls. The boys did a lot of their culinary training over the campfire. Deep grooves in the brain on how food should be cooked, served, and how it tastes burnt to a crisp were all part of growing up. Mamas just took for granted that every meal would be prepared with a young child helping. That was not only training in the culinary arts, it was training to serve with a smile. Now, mamas are too busy to prepare a meal and too short on patience to take the time and trouble to allow the child to be part of the preparation. This lack of training will make the next generation weak and incompetent. When a child spends every day in the kitchen, the day comes when she can step in without a thought and do everything Mama can do and more. Her brain has been grooved deeply in what herbs taste best with what type of meats and how to make a delicious loaf of bread.

What do your children do most of the day? What grooves are being formed in their developing brains? Schoolbooks impart information but are not going to train children in practical living or social responsibilities. It takes personal experiences to leave a mark on the brain. Do you want your children to clean up after themselves? Then start early training them until it becomes a habit. Do you want your children to love to read? Then read with them until they can’t wait for you to finish the book and are launched into a life of literary investigation. To make deep grooves that are permanent, the eyes need to see, the hands need to do, and the soul needs to take pleasure in the knowledge. And most of all, the brain needs constant repetition. What grooved your child’s brain today? Yesterday?

For generations small children have spent their days digging the earth and building dams, bridges, waterways, and roads. Little girls have set up under trees and pretended to serve their brothers food. They have gained balance learning to stand on their heads or ride bikes. They have taken care of animals and learned to train them. They have had long, lazy, hot days when their minds relaxed and repaired themselves. It takes a mountain of time doing these things for it to become a part of their soul.

Today’s children are connected to technology where sights and sounds are dulling their brains and destroying their nervous systems by overstimulation. Scientists are proving this dulling of the brain and are appalled at what the future might be. The brain is being gouged rather than grooved. It is easy to hand the bored and demanding boy your phone to keep him entertained and out of your way, but there will come a day when you will pay for your easy way out. You can’t entertain your children into emotional stability. You alone are your child’s hope. It is the hours you spend every day showing them how to draw a picture, write a story, mix up cornbread batter, sew a dress, hike through the woods, fish, hunt, mend, garden, care for the weak, bless your neighbors, and all the other things in life that make us a balanced, healthy society. You are the ground in which your seed grows. How much time does your child have your undivided attention, showing them how to be the person you want them to be: kind, thoughtful, helpful, respectful, self-disciplined, and hard working?

Groovy Ideas

Be decisive. Be the parent. Stick to your word.

Purge your home of junk food and teach your children to cook and eat healthy food.

Organize your home routine. Bedtimes, eating times, and work times should be clearly defined.

Give your children chores. Don’t patronize them with dumb chores or silly compliments. Treat them with respect and expect them to perform properly.

Spend time talking with your children and listening to them talk. Talking is done best when you are doing chores together.

Have fun. Jump out and scare each other. Grab one child and dance around the room. Happy, balanced children come from happy mamas and daddies. You can’t yell and gripe and expect them to be joyful.

Spend time as a family doing small jobs, playing board games, or being creative.

Have some quiet downtimes when everyone just hangs over the couch and thinks about what they might like to do or where they might like to go visit. Don’t allow technology to consume their minds by having it readily available to fill up any gaps of time. Do your own research and see what electronic emissions are doing to their brains. Read how the blaring sights and sounds are dulling their intellect.

Child training is the most consuming joy in the universe. They should be with you when you take a walk, drive into town, visit a client, plant a garden, cook, clean out the car, and all the chores and events of life—except taking a bath and making love. Children are learning every moment. Every second is forming the brain. Every experience is a potential habit and reservoir for future actions. Someone or something is teaching them all the time. Their brains are being grooved and YOU need to take charge of the process. You are your child’s hope in today’s failing culture.

The Vision

Another word to Christian families who would love to see their children serving God…
Families who are successful in raising their children to do amazing things when they have a vision.

All children need to see that THEY are not the end goal. The goal needs to be much bigger than themselves. The family that wants children who will minister must be training their children to minister. Every child must see that their life matters to others outside their “pond.” The family needs to be handing out tracts, feeding a needy family, helping an old lady with her yard, going on mission trips as a family, mailing gospel books to prisoners, or any other service that a child would see as worthy. Give your child an eternal vision. It is an excellent investment and will cover a lot of other mistakes that most parents make.

Michael Pearl writes:

If I were the devil, I would be proud of six things that leave lethal grooves in the brains of children:

The presence of digital media in the homes of Christians—televisions, videos, Netflix, Amazon, iPads, computers, video games, and especially cell phones. For the first time in the history of the world, Satan has mainline, 24-hour-a-day, intravenous access to the hearts of children—direct from the Sodomites and atheists into the brains and hearts of children. It has never been so easy. The devil could retire for foolish parents are cooperating with the dark side, doing the devil’s work for him.

If I were the devil I would be proud of the educational system. His motto is Proverbs 666: “Train up a child in the way he should NOT go, and when he is old he will never depart from it.”

If I were the devil I would be proud of the church in the Western world. It attempts to be an alternative to pop entertainment and psychological therapy, with a combination of spiritual masturbation and self-love.

If I were the devil I would be proud of the many bibles that contradict each other and leave the impression that only a Greek scholar can know the original intent.

If I were the devil I would be proud of the modern family order where children are not required to share responsibility for the family prosperity. “By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through” (Ecclesiastes 10:18).

Lastly, if I were the devil I would be especially proud of pornography and depictions of violence in the media. There was a time when only sailors in faraway ports could see even a fraction of what is now available to children online. Souls are destroyed by the time parents discover their children can access hell right from the privacy of their Christian home.

Yes, if I were the devil the only thing that would concern me now would be those families that have broken away from public education, the modern church, and the culture that surrounds them. I would dedicate all my energies to that small group of holdouts. How long will it be before they leave a gap in their defenses and the devil slides in like a chilly draft through a crack in the weather stripping?

But I am not the devil; I want to be his worst nightmare, so I am here to sound the alarm and bolster the defenses in these last days. There is a remnant, and you who are reading this are probably among the overcomers.

“Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord, and in the power of his might. Put on the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:10–11)

-Michael Pearl

Live Your Dreams. Forget Children.

Live Your Dreams. Forget Children.

Almost every young Christian woman that I have ever known has wanted to experience college, a career, and traveling which is simply another way to explain the feminist lifestyle. These were their goals. Very few of them ever said they only wanted to marry and raise children. The feminist lifestyle is not from the Lord. He never calls young women to go to college, pursue careers, and travel. No, He tells us that marrying and bearing children are what young women are called to do. Unfortunately, there are very few of us encouraging young women to marry and bear children and we are ridiculed when we do.

Read these sad words from Ellie Bufkin in her article People Told Me to Live My Dreams, But Never To Dream of Having Kids who heeded the mantra that feminism proclaims to young women everywhere, even those in the Church.

“Since I was young, I’ve heard a non-stop stream of encouragement for me, as a ‘modern woman,’ to take charge of my own life, live independently, and chase my dreams. This seems like the obvious advice we should give children, except that many people spent so much time chasing their dreams and creating their bespoke lives that they forgot to have children.

“While growing up in the suburbs, my post-scholastic dream did not consist of finding a partner and having babies. I wanted to see the world, experience many cultures, and live without having to worry about caring for anyone else. I ended up in a fast-paced career with a propensity for hard partying, late hours, and a taste for travel and luxury.

“As years ticked by, I assumed my perfect life would simply fall into place when I was ready, my career would steadily improve, and I would be swept off my feet by a perfect man. I had many friends with the exact same expectations for their lives, and today, we are pretty much all still single and childless.”

Then here are some wise words from Mary Pride in her book The Way Home and her views about having and raising children compared to the feminist lifestyle and lies:

“The real reason that couples are so attracted to family planning has nothing to do with the Bible. It has to do with fear. We’re afraid that we can’t afford a large family. We’re afraid that we wouldn’t be able to control so many children. Some of us fear that without family planning we would have to give up cherished parts of our present lifestyle…Have babies and raising them takes precious time away from their sadly shallow goals in life, which are, in the words of two evangelical feminists, ‘pursuing individualistic interests and making their own name for themselves.’

“We are the richest people in history, yet the most fearful about the costs of child-rearing. Perhaps it’s because we don’t realize how superfatted our lifestyles are, and how little our children really need in order to grow happy, healthy, and godly.

“What ‘freedom’ do babies cost us? Do they interfere with our freedom to love and serve God? No; they interfere with our freedom to indulge ‘the lustful desires of sinful human nature,’ as Peter puts it, ranging from common childish selfishness to full-fledged adult depravity.

“Overpopulation is the great excuse for feminist barrenness. More than that, it is a slogan used to persecute those who hold out against a feminist lifestyle. The word overpopulation turns a couple who are sacrificing time, money, and energy out of love for their children into ‘selfish’ people who are ‘aggravating societal problems.”

As the author of The End Time wrote: “Happy is the woman who unashamedly says ‘I am a wife.’ ‘I am a mother.’ If we are not ashamed of the Gospel, we are not ashamed of any element within it, including the role He has given us to reflect His glory and image. ‘Just a mom’? Might as well say ‘Just a Christian’ when in fact being a woman, a wife, or a mother is all, because we have all, in Christ.”

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalm 127:3

What is Your Definition of a Full Life 4 a Mom?

What is Your Definition of a Full Life 4 a Mom?

“Tonight we are celebrating the love of a chosen family & the fact that being a mother is a privilege & the most important thing you can gift your child is a mother who is not defined by being a mother but who has followed her dreams & who never has to apologize 4 being at work. To show your kids a mom with a full life without them is the only way to celebrate their full lives without us someday. Here’s to the brave mom’s out there. What is your definition of a full life 4 a mom? #Imwithyousister”

This is a tweet by an actress named Vanessa Marcil. Her definition of a full life as a mom is doing what she wants to do. Period. So children are blessed by having mothers who aren’t defined by being a mother but by a woman who bore them then left them in the care of others to raise them? She believes children who are abandoned by their mothers are “blessed” and that mothers who show their children that they have a completely different life apart from their children is good since it prepares them for a life without them. A life without a mother in childhood prepares them for a life without a mother in adulthood?

I don’t know about you but I was blessed because my mother didn’t abandon me for her “dreams.” We were her dream! Vanessa’s comments are so completely backwards that it’s hard for me to even comment on them but I can tell you what, women were thrilled with her very strange comment on Instagram and here are some of their responses.

“Full life for me is to take care of myself. To feel free and spontaneous. To not worry about everyone else around me …there are times I feel guilty for wanting that. It’s not easy being a mom and having to deal with the struggles and all the BS that comes with it. You tend to loose yourself because being a mom is rewarding but at the same time can also be a permanent 24 hr job that you just want to quit.”

“Now that I have had time to think about it my life is just all about my family, and helping others, maybe I do need something more.”

“Thanks to my loving, supportive husband, I been able to continue my education and have an Ed.S. My daughter knows how hard I worked for my education, and she know how much I gain (on a personal, emotional level) from teaching students. I am a better mom because of my career in education, and I think she understands that more and more.”

“Wow! You are truly an inspiration as a mom and a woman. Marry a man with money? ? two things- 1. Cause those women seem so happy. ? 2. The men I have been with who have money were the cheapest mfers on the planet. Cheap and petty. You marry for love and you work for love to set the right example for our kids. Martyr moms who ‘gave up their dreams for us’ raise needy children who also give up their dreams. ?No thank you.”

I asked the women in the chat room this same question and here were some of their answers:

Tammy: “That’s a loaded question but for me it’s being able to spend every day being loved by the father of my children. It’s seeing their joy and wiping their tears. It’s being the one who teaches them the alphabet, how to read, and what God does and who He is. It’s not giving anyone else the privilege of teaching them, protecting them, and having their greatest admiration and love. It’s having their company while we explore the world around us, see new things and cuddle. It’s embracing children as a great gift and joy rather than an interruption in life.”

Sarah: “Being home with her children, and thus constantly in the presence of the Lord (because without unceasing prayer this very full life will run us into the ground!) and providing for them a clean and comfortable place to grow, play and be truly, deeply loved. Having the freedom to provide a home environment that seems almost otherworldly so that my kids and husband come home and find the peace that isn’t at work or at school (though the freedom and privilege of homeschooling is also another part of full motherhood living in my opinion). The stability that comes from the fact that we can live this full, rewarding life without ever leaving our front porches is the icing on top ☺”

Sarah: “My toddler needed a nap, and my 11 year old wanted me to read to him. We snuggled up in my bed, read 4 chapters of Winter Danger (a wonderful book for boys) and the toddler drifted off to dream land, while my teenager does her work, and the 9 year old helps his dad stake tomatoes. That, is my definition of a full life.”

Nicole: “To find the will of God and to do it wholeheartedly. (Maria from the Sound of Music)”

Chelsea: “Waking up everyday getting to spend the entire day with my kids. Watching them play, hearing them laugh, making memories with them. Cooking them homemade meals and hearing ‘you’re the best cook in the world, mommy.’ Impatiently waiting to hear my husband’s truck pull into the driveway every day, peeking out of the window every few minutes with butterflies, hoping it’s him! Sitting down at the table together to eat the meal I cooked for the people I love the most. Hearing my children say grace in the sweetest tones with the most beautiful words that would make anyone proud. Laying in bed with my kids, telling wild tales and stories until they fall asleep, Getting to shower & go to bed every single night with the man of my dreams, talking and laughing until we drift asleep too.

“But it’s not just the ‘perfect’ moments that fulfill my life, it’s the chaos too. My three year old son, dumping a bottle of dirt and rocks on the counter I just cleaned and saying , ‘Here mommy, I got these for you!’ Ketchup somehow in their hair even after they just had a bath, watching my husband and the boys wrestle (a little too rough for my heart to handle); it’s all the moments that I know are moving way too fast. My life is full and I wouldn’t trade any bit of it for the world. I now have tears of happiness in my eyes 😭💕”

Cassie: “A full life for a mom is to have the privilege of having a huge influence in such a special person’s life. The ability to influence that life to live to their fullest potential while seeking out God’s will for their lives.”

Dolly: “A full life is a life that is dedicated to serving others. Jesus Himself came to serve others. Mothers are constantly serving and sacrificing for their husband and children. I believe there is no greater act of love.”

Johann: “I would respond being a real woman, it teaches me everything that being a feminist would not teach me: to be humble, patient, loving, selfless, to do things well and for the glory of God and not brag about myself. I could mention many things that feminism would not teach me. I’m really free doing everything for which God designed me. Being a feminist makes you unhappy.”

Kylene: “A full life is a life dedicated to the bigger picture: not what the mother wants and feels in the moment, but what will benefit her children and future generations over the decades. Will a career make her feel fulfilled in the moment? Maybe? But it means her children are being raised by daycare and schools instead of her. What will that mean in the long term? Children raised by people who don’t love, but are merely paid to ‘look after’ them while she seeks fulfillment elsewhere.”

“As for her, like most women, she had but one ambition. To be a good wife and a good mother, and to be beloved by her husband and children, was all she asked. [She was] a busy, affectionate, cheerful little housewife, whose voice would never be heard in the streets, but whose memory would always live in a few faithful hearts.”
~Elizabeth Prentiss

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Proverbs 31:27, 28

Loving Mothers Raise Secure Children

Loving Mothers Raise Secure Children

“We are living at an unusual time in history, when great pressures are being brought to bear on us to offer up our children on the alter of mammon. We must not give in to this hideous idol, no matter how desperate our financial situation may seem…Though many day-care children spent many, many happy hours playing in my home, I would never willingly put my child through what I saw my little day-care children go through…Perhaps if every young mother had to do ten years of home day-care, a revival of sacrificial mothering would sweep across America.” (Helen Aardsma)

Many young women today don’t understand the impact of their choices upon their children. They haven’t been taught that they are the ones that should be raising and loving their children deeply which means sacrificing for them and being home with them instead of having others raise them. Even if a mother is home full time with her children, she stills need to focus upon loving them or God wouldn’t have had older women teaching young women to love their children.

My mom didn’t feel loved by her mother. Her mother may well have loved her very much but from the things she said to my mom and the way she treated her, she didn’t feel love from her and has struggled with insecurity her entire life, even at the age of 87 years old. My dad was an only child and deeply loved by his mother. He doesn’t have an insecure bone in his body. I felt deeply loved by my mom and am a secure adult.

I conducted a poll with the women in the chat room about this topic to see what their responses would be. The options were: 1) Loved by mom = grew up secure. (54  women); 2) Didn’t feel loved by mom or not loved by mom = grew up insecure. (60 women); 3) Loved by mom = grew up insecure. (19 women). So from my very unscientific poll, women grew up to be much more secure if they felt loved by their mothers than those who were not.

It makes common sense to me that those women who were deeply loved and cared for by their mothers would most likely grow up to be secure adults, especially if their mothers were home full time. (This wasn’t accounted for in the poll.) I know Dr. Brenda Hunter who wrote the book “Home By Choice” found the same thing to be true from her scientific studies.

It’s so important, women, to deeply love your children even if you don’t feel like you like them. Decide to be affectionate, tender, kind, and loving towards them. Remember, we don’t live by our feelings but by obedience. Your children, who you may love but not like so much, know how you feel about them. Most of us aren’t so good at hiding our feelings.

Some of these women who grew up not feeling loved, thus insecure, by their mothers became secure when they learned who they were in Christ. Teach your children from a young age who they are in Christ. Teach them their value and worth comes from Him and not what others will say about or to them. After feeling loved and secure in your love, then they will be prepared to go out into the world and be secure in who they are in Christ. They will remember that God promises to never leave nor forsake them.

Hug your teenage children. Smile at them when you see them. Let them see that you find joy in them. They still need your love and affection. The world is an insecure and scary place but if your children have a warm and loving home with an affectionate mother in it, these children will grow up secure and most likely emotionally stable.

Discipline and train them in love. Tell them that you are spanking them when they are young and disobedient because you love them so much. Build a loving relationship as they grow up so you’ll have a loving relationship when they are adults. This is how it goes with this eternal principle: We reap what we sow!

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.
Titus 2:4

A Wonderful Way to Spend Childhood

A Wonderful Way to Spend Childhood

According to this article, “Roughly 25% of Americans live like vampires, hardly ever venturing outside and living through their computer and television screens while doing all their shopping through Amazon, according to The Washington Times.

“Peter Foldbjerg, the head of daylight energy and indoor climate at Velux, a window manufacturing company, said an increasing number of Americans do not get adequate outdoor time, including fresh air and sunlight.

“’We are increasingly turning into a generation of indoor people where the only time we get daylight and fresh air midweek is on the commute to work or school,’ said Foldbjerg.”

For about 30 hours a few days ago, I had three of my grandchildren stay at my home while their parents had a little bit of a break to enjoy their anniversary. I picked them up in the afternoon and had them until the next night. When they woke up in the morning, I fed them breakfast and they played contentedly in the home until “papa” woke up.

Around 9:00 am, they asked if they could go outside in front to play. I was outside in front with them until 6:00 pm! It was an absolutely beautiful day and it’s amazing what fun children have outside in the fresh air and sunshine. Children need a lot of large muscle movement. They don’t need TV or iPad watching. There is a huge advantage to living out in the country where children have a lot of room to run, climb, and play. It’s not only good for their body but for their mind too.

For the first few hours, it was just my grandchildren playing with various things we have for them to play with. Around noon, a neighborhood girl came home from school and played. I always like my grandchildren to play where I can see and hear them.

By mid-afternoon, there were probably eleven children out in front riding bikes, scooters, skateboards, and a battery-operated car. The roads were kind of blocked off so the cars would clearly see the children. The children would all yell out “CAR!” so the children would get out of the street and the cars would creep slowly by and the people would wave to us.

Around 5:30, my neighbor across the street yelled out to me, “You get the greatest grandma award!” He had seen that I was outside all day with the children. Most of my neighbors came out for one thing or another and remarked how much they loved seeing children all playing outside together since it’s a rare site to see these days.

This is how childhood should be! When Ken and I take walks every day around our neighborhoods, it’s rare that we see even a few children playing outside. When I was a child, we played outside until the sun set!

I realize that most of you don’t have time to sit outside for nine hours a day and watch your children play but how about an hour or two? I did this when my children were young and we all loved it. The children would all play and the mothers would chat. Just by me sitting out in front of my yard with my grandchildren, many other children and even adults joined us.

When I put my grandchildren to bed at night, they conked out! They were happy and exhausted. I fed them healthy food for meals, made them make their bed and clean up after themselves, and let them play. What a wonderful way to spend childhood, after they do their schoolwork and chores, of course!

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning.
James 1:17

Barrenness is Celebrated in the Church

Barrenness is Celebrated in the Church

He makes the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD.
Psalm 113:9

Sadly, many women in the church celebrate and force barrenness upon themselves by taking birth control pills and all types of other things used to prevent having babies conceived. Some of these things even cause an embryo (a human life) to be destroyed. Millions of women per year will have their babies murdered in their wombs if they become pregnant at an “inconvenient” time and never allow their babies to take a breath. They don’t believe that keeping house and being a mother to children can be joyful as God has said.

Too many women in the Church value careers and traveling over being blessed with children. I will watch a mother holding her precious baby and never understand how a career can be more important than a blessing of a baby. Women go on birth control so they can have careers and travel. Babies would interrupt these plans during their most fertile years and they value temporary pleasures over God’s blessings.

God’s plan is for young women to marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:12). They are to love their children and be keepers at home (Titus 2:4, 5). He may bless barren women who have open hearts to children with children and make them a joyful mother of children while they keep house yet most churches don’t teach this because this offends women. God’s ways offend Christian women and I wouldn’t be allowed to teach these things in most churches! Ponder that for a moment.

After marriage, being blessed with children, if one is able, should be a natural part of marriage. Divorcing this from marriage, as the Church has done, has been devastating. Christian women who want to have all of the children that God blesses them with will be asked rude questions by other Christians, such as, “You do know where babies come from, don’t you?” As if preventing children is a godly and good thing! This is perversion.

“The entire purpose of the sex drive is to marry and have children. Christians have been bamboozled out of their heritage and 80% of Christian women think birth control is acceptable. It’s not, unless we are dealing with health concerns. Remember when God told his people to make sure you can afford kids before you have them? Yeah, me neither. So American men and women have killed off 200 million kids with abortion and contraception since birth control was legalized by a rogue SCOTUS in 1965. To put that in perspective, less than 2 million Americans were killed in all our wars combined. So we’ve killed 100 times as many Americans as our enemies have. Hitler and Stalin are green with envy.” (John Jefferson)

“The church’s sin which has caused us to become unsavory salt incapable of uplifting the society around us is selfishness, lack of love, refusing to consider children an unmitigated blessing. In other words, family planning…When the church came out in favor of family planning, it produced certain effects. Outside careers became truly possible for women with the blessing of the church. Only when a woman deliberately chose to stop having children and was able to carry through on her plans would she be able to launch into a career without fear of ‘interruptions.'” (Mary Pride)

Women give their babies to strangers while they go off to work. They have two children and decide this is plenty because they have other dreams and goals to accomplish. Women, God’s plan is for you to marry and bear children! It isn’t to have careers and travel. He never planned for you to have a load of debt from higher education and then a career which prevents you from having children and being home full time with them. This was NEVER His plan yet the church fell for it hook, line, and sinker. This blasphemes the Word of God according to Titus 2:5.

Let’s repent of our evil ways and stop going along with this wicked and adulterous culture and instead open our wombs to the Lord and allow Him to bless us with godly offspring. (Yes, if I were still young, I would still be wanting babies. We never did anything permanent to prevent them and would have loved having more children but I became too ill. Thankfully, we had our children when we were young. If we had waited until I was 30 years old, like many women do today, we would not have been able to have children.)

If you have prevented babies, pilled up debt from higher education, sought out careers, and maybe even had an abortion, know that there is forgiveness from God. He is a loving and merciful God. Many Christian women have gone along with the flow of culture and don’t understand that the way they are living is against God’s plan for them. They do all of this in ignorance. There’s been no older women in their lives teaching them the ways of biblical womanhood. I understand this and you are not alone. If you are still young, change the course of your life into God’s plan for you and remember that with God ALL things are possible!

Don’t take your fertility for granted, young women. It’s only for a few short years so use it to produce godly offspring, if the Lord blesses you. The world needs this more than it needs anything else. Keep your eyes upon eternity instead of the temporary thrills of our evil culture.

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalm 127:3