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Mothers are the Central Nervous System to Babies

Mothers are the Central Nervous System to Babies

It’s surprising to many when science backs what God has commanded. It’s not to me. Why would it be? He’s our Creator and knows what is best for us. He knows that mothers home full time with their children is best for all involved. Ms. Komisar, a Jewish psychoanalyst and liberal Democrat, discovered the importance of mothers being home with their children and wrote a book about it. James Tarnato wrote about her findings in the article The Politicization of Motherhood.

“The premise of Ms. Komisar’s book—backed by research in psychology, neuroscience and epigenetics—is that ‘mothers are biologically necessary for babies,’ and not only for the obvious reasons of pregnancy and birth. ‘Babies are much more neurologically fragile than we’ve ever understood,’ Ms. Komisar says. She cites the view of one neuroscientist, Nim Tottenham of Columbia University, ‘that babies are born without a central nervous system’ and ‘mothers are the central nervous system to babies,’ especially for the first nine months after birth.”

Isn’t God amazing! He created women with wombs, ovaries, and breasts in order to bear and nourish their babies and now we find that mothers are the central nervous system to their babies! This is His perfect and awesome design. His will is that mothers be the ones to raise their own babies and be there for them continually since they are perfectly created to do this.

“Women produce more oxytocin than men do, which answers the obvious question of why fathers aren’t as well-suited as mothers for this sort of ‘sensitive, empathetic nurturing.’ People ‘want to feel that men and women are fungible,’ observes Ms. Komisar—but they aren’t, at least not when it comes to parental roles. Fathers produce a ‘different nurturing hormone’ known as vasopressin, ‘what we call the protective, aggressive hormone.'”

People have gotten angry with me for suggesting that God wants mothers home with their children full time, not fathers. God is the One who commanded women be keepers at home, not fathers, and now there’s proof to why mothers are better than fathers with their children full time. God created women more emotional and sensitive than fathers for a very good reason. Who are we to question His perfect will?

“As Ms. Komisar ‘started to put the pieces together,’ she found that ‘the absence of mothers in children’s lives on a daily basis was what I saw to be one of the triggers for these mental disorders.’ She began to devour the scientific literature and found that it reinforced her intuition.”

This is exactly what the author of the book Home By Choice found. Those children who are raised by their mothers full time are much more secure and emotionally stable than those children who were not raised by their mothers full time. It makes perfect sense when we understand the mother’s effect on her baby’s central nervous system and the oxytocin that comes from her towards her baby.

“When she was shopping for a literary agent, she tells me, ‘a number of the agents said, ‘No, we couldn’t touch that. That would make women feel guilty.’  Another time she was rejected for a speaking gig at a health conference. She quotes the head of the host institution as telling her: ‘You are going to make women feel badly. How dare you?'”

I was told the same thing many years ago when I wanted to teach about women being keepers at home to a group of women at my church. I was told it would make working women feel guilty, thus I was not supposed to teach them what God had instructed me to teach them. Sadly, few older, Christian women are teaching the younger women to love their children and be keepers at home and the women and children are suffering.

“You can see why tradition-minded conservatives welcome Ms. Komisar so warmly. Think about how they are stereotyped—as backward, superstitious, hostile to science. She shows that science validates what they know as common sense.”

Unfortunately, it’s not common sense anymore, even among Christians, or else so many wouldn’t fight against what I teach. Yes, women are commanded to be keepers at home and raise their own children. Their children desperately need and want their mothers. No one can take the place of a mother in a child’s life. These teachings aren’t backwards and superstitious. They are what is best for the children. Children, the most innocent among us, are suffering so terribly in our country right now.

I don’t agree with Ms. Komisar’s conclusion that the solution to this problem is more government funding for maternity benefits which simply increases the tax burden on everyone, especially upon the men who are the sole providers of their families. Mothers need to stay home with their children as long as their children are under their roofs. Children need their mother’s protection, their care, their guidance, training, and love. No one can replace a mother in a home or in a child’s life.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Children Being Taught By Feminists

Children Being Taught By Feminists

A man wrote me this the other day concerning female school teachers: “I started Kindergarten in 1957, and my teacher was an older woman, probably late 50’s or early 60’s. Same with first grade. When I started second grade at a brand new school, I had my first of many female teachers who were young, probably mid 20’s to 30’s. While there were a few male teachers at elementary schools in the 60’s, women were the norm. So here is my question to you: How do you feel about young boys being taught at school by young women some barely past the tender age of 21, especially in this feminist world in which we live?

I think we can both agree, teaching has always appealed to the feminist woman, probably since the early 60’s. In fourth grade I had my first feminist teacher, though I did not know of the term feminist then. What I did know and could easily see was she favored girls in the classroom like I’d never seen before and was quick to put down any boy who did not measure up to the girls, or at least it seemed that way. Recently, after re-connecting with an old classmate from that time, we were discussing this very teacher, so I did a little research. After not finding out anything I looked up obituaries and sure enough found her by her maiden name even though she was married. She had a hyphenated last name with her maiden name-husband’s name. So my early thoughts back in 1961 about her being different were definitely true. In fifth grade I had an older teacher again, whom I liked very much. Then in sixth, I had what I would classify female teacher who was a ‘subtle’ feminist. Favoring the girls with preferential treatment, things like that, but very subtle.

So back to my question. I know how you believe (as do I) women should not be teaching men, and that it should be the reverse. How does it fit in when the women doing the teaching are paid teachers and instilling their value system (usually feministic) in young impressionable boys and girls, too, for that matter? I see very few older female teachers nowadays, and this has concerned me for a long time.”

This, my friends, is another reason why Christian parents should be the ones teaching their children at home. I began kindergarten about six years after this man and I can recall that most of my teachers were feminists. Even in Christian schools nowadays most of the teachers are feminists! This should be very concerning to the majority of you. There’s no way that feminists should be raising the godly remnant.

I taught for about five years before being able to stay home. Almost all of the teachers I worked with were feminists. There’s only one that I can recall being a Christian. Most of them had children and weren’t the ones home raising them. One day sitting around the lunch table, about six of these women told me they regretted having children since their children turned out to be rebellious. Their careers were way more important to them than being home to raise their children. Do we really want these women raising our children?

“Raising children in today’s evil times is not for the lazy, indifferent, or casual parent who is swept along with the flow of society – even Christian society. Nor is it for the parent who is too busy to pay attention. We need to be willing to lay down our lives, to step up to being the person God wants us to be. We need to guard and sanctify our children’s environment.

Can we expect to win against this bombardment of evil? Absolutely! When your baby sees and feels joy and peace, he grows up addicted to it and adopts your lifestyle as a means to the continuation of that which brings pleasure. He loves the lovely, praises the worthy, and eschews the evil. It is automatic.” (Debi Pearl)

And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 11:19

A Life of Yieldedness

A Life of Yieldedness

Do you live a life of yieldedness? Do you not care if you don’t get your own way? Do you live to please others instead of yourselves? Do you first see that people around you are served before you serve yourself? Do you live to be served or to serve?

There’s a great article about how the Amish raise their children and most Christian parents would do well to learn from them. From what I have seem, most “Christian” children are not being raised to be unselfish and yielding. Our culture promotes the opposite: independence, selfishness, and life is “all about me” attitudes. These are completely contrary to what Christ calls us to be.

“The Amish believe that the quickest way to spoil a child is to let them to have their own way.” The sooner a child learns that life isn’t all about them and their wants, the happier they will be. Selfishness never leads to happiness or contentment. This is why having large families is usually healthier for children. They learn to share and yield to others.

“Children are taught from the Bible ‘Obey your parents in the Lord for this is right.'” Yes, it’s the parents responsibility to teach, train, and discipline your children in the ways of the Lord. The sooner they teach their children to obey and respect them as their authority, the easier it is for them to obey and respect the Lord as their authority.

The one thing the article lacks is the importance of teaching children that the joy of the Lord is their strength. There must be a lot of smiles, hugs, and laughter in a home as well. If the home is somber and lacks joy, the children will grow up to be more attracted to the world and its ways, rather than to Christ. As parents, you need to show your children that living for the Lord is the very best thing in the world. They NEED to see your love, joy, and excitement for the Lord.

Children must also see parents who live lives that are yielded to the Lord and to others. They must see mothers who are yielded to their father’s authority in the home. They must see mothers who yield to the Lord’s ways and seek to please Him in all they do. They must see mothers who love to serve and love others deeply. This will make a huge impression upon their lives.

Don’t allow your children to get their own way since this will lead to destruction. The flesh is controlled by the old man and its tendency is to chose selfishness and the wrong path. Teach your children who they are in Christ and obedience to Him and His ways; for this will benefit them all throughout their lives. When they are old enough, make sure you take them slowly through Romans 6 – 8 so they will understand that they have been crucified in Christ and it is no longer they who live but Christ who lives within them. Then they will walk after the Spirit as a new creature in Christ!

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.
3 John 1:4

Work That is Not Wood, Hay, and Stubble

Work That is Not Wood, Hay, and Stubble

Written By Ken Alexander

To be clear, God calls women to be submissive wives and keepers of the home, raising the next generation of godly children. There is no higher Biblical calling than to evangelize the children God entrusts in our care and to help grow them up in the Lord Jesus. These gifts from God will be our greatest treasures in heaven when the wood, hay and stubble of life is burned away, leaving the gold and silver of our time, energy and effort we have invested in our precious children. There also will be no greater heartache and regrets that comes when we are unfaithful with the little things God has given us to do in life, for it is our little things who become the loves of our lives, or the pain in our life.

This does not mean that God is against all Christian women going to college, nor against them working, or even having a career. If a Christian is single, or without children, if she has raised her children in the Lord, she is free within the liberty God has given her to pursue her interests and to help provide for the family. Christian liberty applies to all areas where God’s Word is not clear or demanding on our lives. But when more than half the Christian women in our country are in the work force, leaving their children for days and days on end with unbelievers to raise them, this is not God’s will for most of them. It is time for us to reevaluate our priorities in our post-Christian culture that is tugging at our children from all sides, all the while our Christian mothers are distracted from their primary calling.

If you choose to go to college, do so with eyes wide open strongly rejecting the philosophies of this world and the heavy feminist influence that has permeated even many of our Christian colleges. Don’t get trapped by college debt that will keep you from your priority of wife and mother as it makes a slave of you, forcing you to work during the most critical younger years where love and security are indelibly inked upon your children’s psyche. If you choose to work, try to work part-time, and see if you can’t have grandma, or some godly woman be a surrogate mom to your kids while you are away from home. Prayerfully ask the Lord to allow you to get home where you have been called when you have young children.

The most frequent excuses for a Christian wife going to work when she has young children is that the family cannot afford to have her stay home. If we concede that there are times that a Christian wife may feel she must work, can we not also believe that the God who provides for all our needs will do so for those who faithfully trust Him at His Word? That if work is mandated for a time, it should be only for a short time with a view of getting Mom home with her children as soon as possible and as long as possible. The bigger home, the 401K, the nicer vacations and the things of life are all wood, hay and stubble. There’s nothing wrong with them so long as they do not take away from your primary calling of being home raising your children in the Lord.

Our churches have stopped placing God’s priority on our children preferring to take the unbiblical thinking that God will save the children He wants to save, and reject those He wants to reject. No, God makes us a promise that if we Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). You are commanded to teach about God and His ways “diligently to your children, and talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise” (Deuteronomy 6:7).

Who will teach them all the day long about the things of God if you are not there to do this important job? Raising the next generation of godly children is not a part-time job, but a never-ending job so long as our children are in our home. Not just with words, but actions and modeling for them what Jesus looks like living in and through the Believer. How can they see Jesus in a tired and weary mom who has no time to devote to her primary calling of the Lord? Will not the career mother by her very model of life be training her children that some things in life are more important than they are? More important than their eternal souls? More important than training them in the ways of the Lord?

Life is not much more than a series of choices, good, bad, and neutral decisions made that result in a life well lived, or a life of regrets. I am all about choice, and desire that instead of just going along with the flow of society that chases pleasures and security and pride, that Christian couples everywhere consider what God has to say about the importance of the treasures God has entrusted us with. To some God has given one talent, others three, and yet others ten, and He expects a return on His investment (Matthew 25). If you think you can give Him His return while neglecting to invest first and foremost in your children, then you need to reconsider.

I will not say that a Christian couple cannot raise wonderful godly children if mom works, but what I will say, is that too many are failing at their first calling, and the church and family is suffering because of it. Far too many Christian couples are playing Russian roulette with the souls of their children, and need to recognize that Christian liberty allows a wife and mother to work, but it may not be what is best for the family, or the family of God.

There is theme that rings out clearly from the beginning to end of the Bible which says, “And I will be their God and they will be my people.” God is going about the business of creating a family of God who will love Him, serve Him and enjoy and glorify Him forever. Will you join God’s business and partner with Him in raising the next generation of godly children who then will raise their own in the Lord? Will you see that God’s purpose was to become a man so that He can fully and completely enjoy His sons and daughters of God full of love, joy, peace, patience and all of the qualities of God Himself?

Whatever you do with your life apart from raising your children in the Lord can be very worthwhile in advancing the Kingdom and family of God, but is a far second to first raising your family in the Lord. Most of what we do apart from raising our family in the Lord is but wood, hay and stubble, compared to the gold of the faithful servant who takes care of the precious souls God has individually entrusted to us. Be faithful to your calling. Be true to God’s Word. And then with all the rest of your life live it within the liberty of Christ Jesus choosing to redeem the time, for the time here on earth is short indeed.

 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.
1 Corinthians 3:12, 13

Raising the Most Overweight, Addicted, Medicated Generation in History

Raising the Most Overweight, Addicted, Medicated Generation in History

Country Living did an article called Why Parents Today Aren’t Strict Enough“Children were treated like pets or — worse — release-valves for their parents’ stresses and fears, then expected to magically transform into healthy, functional adults. Which is why we’re the most overweight, addicted, medicated generation in history.”

I visited with a neighbor yesterday who raised one son. He was never given any boundaries. He ate what he wanted, when he wanted, watched what he wanted, and went to bed when he wanted. He is in high school now and she is ashamed of him. He has brought so much pain and suffering into their lives. She looked at me and said, “You did it right. You were black and white parents; ‘yes’ meant ‘yes’ and ‘no’ meant ‘no.’ We were gray parents and we are now paying the price.”

We raised our children with a lot of boundaries. We were considered strict parents. They didn’t get to choose what and when they ate, what they watched, and when they went to bed. We decided these for them when they were young. I made most of their food from scratch and made sure they ate a lot of fruits, vegetables, and healthy foods. They weren’t allowed to watch much television but spent a lot of time outside playing and reading, instead. They were given clear boundaries and disciplined for disobedience. Child raising was a pleasure for us but it took a lot of time and energy when they were very young. It became easier as they got older.

Most parents have no idea how to raise children anymore. They don’t discipline them or give them boundaries but allow them to run their homes. Children have become their parents’ oppressors. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths (Isaiah 3:12).

The article gives a few explanations of why children are out of control today. If you don’t read it carefully, you will miss one of the reasons that are mentioned. “As parents today, increasingly in dual-income homes, we are stretched thin.” It takes a mother home full time to teach, train, nurture, and discipline her children. Children need their mothers to do this job because teachers, nannies, and daycare providers aren’t going to do this for them. It takes a lot of work and this job is given to mothers.

Mothers who are home full time should make sure they aren’t being stretched too thin by getting involved in a lot of activities outside of the home. Raising children to be godly, hard-working adults needs to be their main priority.

“They (children) crave boundaries. They repeat unwanted behavior, like tantrums and violence, because they’re escalating it, waiting for someone to care enough to tell them no.” When children are allowed to get away with temper tantrums, they are essentially unloved. God disciplines us because He loves us in the same way we discipline our children.

I know that there are some parenting practices being taught today to never say “no” to your children. This seems like one of the most foolish things parents can do. All throughout life, we will be told “no.” God tells us “no” about many things in His Word. Why should we do no less with our own children? The sooner they learn that they won’t always get their way in life, the better off they will be.

Denny Kenaston preached a sermon on the Sin of Gluttony and it is a gift to teach your children self-control and disciplining their flesh and its lusts in ALL areas. Your children will have much less chance of being overweight, struggle with addictions, or need medications if they are taught the truth of God’s Word, the importance of renewing their minds with truth, and being in control of their thoughts and appetites.

If you raise your children properly, you will enjoy them! God calls children a blessings and so should we. This nation needs godly offspring to spread the light and love of Jesus more than it needs anything else. As Al Mohler said, “Couples are not given the option of chosen childlessness in the biblical revelation. To the contrary, we are commanded to receive children with joy as God’s gifts, and to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We are to find many of our deepest joys and satisfactions in the raising of children within the context of the family.”

Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.
Hebrews 12:11

Your Daughters Don’t Have to Choose a Career

Your Daughters Don’t Have to Choose a Career

Whenever my viral post goes viral again, many of my more recent posts receive a lot of hits and comments as well. Unfortunately, vile and nasty comments are spewed all over my Facebook page, along with contentious and contrary ones (those who believe it’s their duty to scold me for what I teach).

Thankfully, I have a small “army” of godly women helping me to ban, delete, and hide those types of comments. My husband, Ken, has also become an administrator of my Facebook page since he wants to help moderate during times like these. It gets overwhelming and this homemaking viral post seems to go viral fairly frequently. (I appreciate that he is involved and overseeing my ministry to women, too. He also mentors men who come my way seeking help in their marriages. He has a lot of wisdom!)

This is one of the posts that was receiving quite a bit of comments recently. (Yes, I know I spelled “tutor” wrong but at the time I wrote it, I was taking care of my three young and precious grandchildren and wasn’t as careful as I normally would be but I do make mistakes!):

I noticed that Ken had responded to a few women who disliked this post and felt they needed to set me straight. I thought his responses were good enough for a post of their own!

Vicky: “I am a college educated (BSN, and an MBA, currently working on my PHD) female, wife, and mother! Telling young girls, that they are better off, not going to college, and just getting married and having children is WRONG! I have two girls, which both have gone or going to college, one is married and works in her degree field, with no children; doesn’t want children and the other, doesn’t want to consider marriage until, she is capable of standing on her own two feet. So, what you’re saying is that I have raised my daughters, incorrectly?”

Ken Alexander: “Vicki, I am all about choice. Did you show your daughters a choice to not become a career woman and explain the sacrifices they are making when they choose to pursue a career? Everyone has a choice how they want to live their life, and you and your daughters have chosen your path. It’s your life to live so live it as you think best… but also don’t believe for an instant that many career women and their families would not have been better served by focusing on the relationships that give the most lasting value in life.

Jesus said, ‘For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?’ (Mark 8:36). I think He would also say for today’s world, ‘What does it profit a woman to have a career, and the money and ego that goes with it, to lose out on the best life has to offer in family and marriage?’ You have taught your daughters the world’s way of doing things, but this world will pass by quickly and in the end, we all have to own how we have lived.

So let’s be sure that our daughters know that they do not have to choose a career, but can throw themselves into marriage and family, often living happier and more fulfilling lives without the debt of college and grad school. Let’s let God and His Word help them make this important decision. Our children are our greatest treasures, are they not?”

Kenndra: “Out of curiosity (again), are we going to pretend that women like Esther or Ruth did not exist in the Bible? Or are we only talking about the parts that fit this narrative?”

Ken Alexander: “Are not Esther and Ruth perfect examples of godly women who married and were well provided for by God and their husbands? They are a far better example of what is taught in this post than anything to do with being career women.”

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:8, 9

Are We a Patriarchal Family?

Are We a Patriarchal Family?

Some have accused me of supporting a patriarchal type system. Patriarch means “the father and ruler of a family; one who governs by paternal right. It is usually applied to the progenitors of the Israelites, Abraham, Isaac, Jacob and the sons of Jacob” (1828 Webster Dictionary). Yes, I believe in submission by a wife to her husband, the obedience of children to their parents, and the husband as head over his wife and leader of his family so I do believe in the patriarchal family if it means this.

Unfortunately, some have taken this concept to the extreme to mean that a patriarchal way of living consists of a father who is over the family as long as he lives, even over those children who are adults and married. This isn’t biblical and not supported anywhere in the Bible; for the man is to leave his father and mother and cling to his wife. He then becomes the head over his own family.

Due to the influence of the patriarchal family, I have been asked by women if they should obey their parents because of the verse, Children obey your parents. Do you notice the word “children”? Once a child becomes an adult, they no longer have to obey their parents. Honor, yes, but obey, no.

Michael Pearl wrote a great article about the difference between a true patriarch and a dysfunctional patriarch: “There is a twisted Christian doctrine preached that justifies not cutting the umbilical cord, all in the name of ‘Children, obey your parents.’ It is based on the assumption that one’s offspring remain children, duty-bound before God to always be subject to the chain of command. This doctrine, misnamed The Patriarchal Family, has been around long enough for us to see the fruit, so I have characterized the extremes in this movement as Patriarchal Dysfunctional Families. When you see young adults continuing in the family unit in cloistered confinement, protected from making bad decisions, you are witnessing a PDF, even if they have never heard of the doctrine.”

We have been accused of having this type of dysfunctional patriarchal system but our children would tell you otherwise. Our oldest was out of the home on her own at the age of 18 years old with a Christian ballet company that traveled all over the USA up until the time she was married. Now, she lives under her husband’s leadership, not mine or Ken’s. She’s not answerable or accountable to anyone but the Lord and her husband.

Our second son lived with us while he went to the local community college for a few years but wasn’t accountable to us. We didn’t have to “make rules” or insist he “obeyed” us during this time since he was a hard-working and good, young man. If he were rebellious, we wouldn’t have had him living with us. After this, he went to BIOLA University and graduated with a Biology major. He lived with us after this until he was married a year later. Now, he is head of his family with a wife and three precious children.

Our third son left home right after graduation from a Christian high school, then attended BIOLA for three years, then on to dental school, and finally graduated from orthodontic school. He married right after he graduated and moved with his wife to begin his own career and was blessed with a precious daughter. He is the head of his home, not Ken. Ken would have ZERO desire to try to have any control over his grown children’s lives.

Our youngest daughter attended BIOLA one year but knew she didn’t want us to spend that much money on her going to a Christian college when she only wanted to be a wife and mother. Then she attended the local community college and finished up at the local university while living at home. Ken thought it important for her to have a degree. Shortly afterwards, she met her husband, got married, then a few years later had a baby girl and became a full-time stay-at-home wife and mother. Now, she’s pregnant with her second baby girl but her husband is definitely the head of his household and it’s just the way it’s supposed to be.

We NEVER thought that Ken should be the “Patriarch” of anyone other than his little family while the children were growing up and living under his roof. Once they were eighteen, they were free to do what they wanted with their lives but thankfully, they all chose wisely and walk with Jesus since this is all that matters to both of us.

 Choose you this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Joshua 24:15

Treating Children as Idols

Treating Children as Idols

From an Anonymous comment on my Peaceful Parenting post

Sadly “peaceful parenting” is very quickly becoming the new norm for “good parenting”. Children are being treated as idols and parents are constantly yielding to every emotion and request like their child’s life depends on it. I am not judging these parents because they are genuinely trying to do the right thing. I know many peaceful/gentle/attachment parents and they are beautiful people who are just misguided and heavily influenced by the world.

It is becoming more dangerous and forceful as time goes by just like any other sin. We are now told that time out or removing privileges is disrespectful and border line child abuse. That children have “bodily autonomy” which means they can refuse to have their hair or teeth brushed. We should all unschool our children and let them explore and teach themselves whatever they have an interest in. If we teach or facilitate anything we are undermining them.

Children should not be prompted to say “please” or “thank you” because that is rude, they will say it if they want to and if you force them the words will hold no meaning. Bedtimes and enforcing naps is stripping children of their independence, we must let them choose when they want to rest so they learn to listen to their own bodies. Children must co-sleep for as long as they want (forever if they choose) and husbands can sleep in another room if they have a problem with it.

All of these examples are things I have actually witnessed in real life or have seen in various blogs and Facebook posts.

I honestly feel like this new trend is another tactic of the enemy to destroy marriage. What man can feel happy and fulfilled after years of being cast the leftover energy and attention his wife has to offer after a busy day of worshiping her children and letting them run the household.

I have two boys who I love with all my heart but they absolutely do not run this house. If they need a hair cut, they get one even if they don’t like it because it’s boring. If it is bedtime, they go to bed even if they would rather stay up with my husband and me.

Lori speaking here: Parents, raise your children in “the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.”  Nurture means to educate, to bring or train up. Teach and train them the ways of godliness. When you are raising your children you must always be training and guiding them to do what is right and hate that which is evil. It’s your job to teach them the Word and the ways of the Lord. Teach them to love the Lord’s ways and hate the world’s ways by telling them about the goodness and greatness of the Lord. One way to do this is to live a life of cheerfulness and joy; for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Sing songs and make melody in your heart to Him. Let your children see the joy of the Lord in YOU!

Then we are taught to raise them in the admonition of the Lord. Admonition means to give a reproof; counseling against a fault; instruction in duties; caution; direction. This means they must be disciplined to learn what “no” means from an early age and learn to obey you. This is the most important thing to teach a young child. It will make raising them so much easier. Let them know the horrible consequences of sin and that they will reap what we sow. You can use many stories in the Old Testament to show them the pain of sin. Pain is a great teacher. A couple of good, hard swats on the behind are a great teacher against disobedience. The pain of the swat must hurt more than the pleasure of the sinful behavior.

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 29:15

Lack of Education Makes Bad Mothers?

Lack of Education Makes Bad Mothers?

Joy Anna Duggar, who is nineteen years old is pregnant and is causing quite a stir among the feminists of today. “What? She doesn’t have a college education?” “What will she have to offer her baby?” As one woman responded on an article about Joy Anna:

“What about an education? The ability to pay for a child’s needs? Babies are a blessing but they deserve to be raised in a loving and accepting home. An uneducated teenager without a job other than TLC is not a role model for young girls . Originally my daughters were allowed to watch the show but as the young ladies grew and were denied an education and basic civil rights — the show was banned. I have 7 children. 4 college graduates , 2 daughters in college who also work to pay for their education . The Duggar ladies are an example of what not to do.”

Up until about 150 years ago, few women received college educations yet children were still born and raised to be responsible adults. A college education does NOT make a woman smarter in any way that matters to the Lord or to eternity. In fact, most college educations poison women’s minds since they teach everything contrary to the Word of God. Some of our most famous presidents were home educated by mothers without a college education.

From what I have seen, higher education makes uninvolved mothers since mothers aren’t home full time with their children. They value their careers over their children. They find being home full time mundane and not for them, especially since it’s so easy to find care for their children with the many daycare centers available today. Higher education does nothing to help women become more submissive wives, better mothers, or homemakers who keep clean and tidy homes. They teach nothing that the Lord cares about concerning godly womanhood.

Why would Joy Anna have to be the one to “pay for a child’s needs” as this woman states? Joy Anna did it right. She married a godly, hard-working man to provide and protect her. If something happens to her, I am sure her family would support her as they are called to do biblically (1 Timothy 5:4).

Joy Anna’s baby will be raised in a loving and accepting home. The Duggars believe that when a couple gets married, they begin having babies, if the Lord blesses them. Surprise, surprise! The fact that this is not common today, even among Christians, is tragic. God created marriage and commanded us to be fruitful and multiply. Children are gifts from the Lord and raising four children and now having almost six grandchildren, I can say without a doubt that they are all our greatest blessings!

An uneducated teenager without a job other than TLC is not a role model for young girls.” I can tell you that she is going to be a far superior role model to her children than many highly educated women are today. Joy Anna will be home full time with her children and showing and teaching them the ways of godliness. Her marriage will be strong and she will show her children the joy of the Lord. What’s more important than this? An education and career? I think not!

Finally, this woman accused the Duggars by saying the children were “denied an education and basic civil rights”? They were all homeschooled and seem to be very intelligent and wise children and adults. I have no idea what she is referring to concerning basic civil rights. Does she mean it’s because the girls all wore skirts and had long hair, didn’t go to public schooling or universities, didn’t grow up watching TV or maybe because they were given strict courting rules? From everything I have seen and read, they are one of the most joyful families I have ever seen! My mother never had a college education and she was a fabulous mother just as Joy Anna will be.

For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.
1 Corinthians 3:19

Most Persuasive Passage Against Public Schools

Most Persuasive Passage Against Public Schools

This is the most persuasive passage in the Bible that shows God’s will for us and is an argument against sending our children to public schooling for most of their entire childhood years:

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion hath light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? Or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? For ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you. And will be a Father unto you, and ye shall be my sons and daughters, saith the Lord Almighty.
2 Corinthians 6:14-18

What do these verses mean? Do they mean we can’t do anything with unbelievers? Should we never be around them? No! We are called to be salt and light and we can’t be these things if we can’t be around those to whom we are called to be salt and light. But we must not ever participate in the deeds they participate in if they are not good and right. We aren’t to be entertained by those things they are entertained by if they don’t glorify the Lord.

Our children are not the ones who are called to go out and be missionaries to a lost world. They are not called to spend hours every day, five days a week for many years with unbelievers and learning from unbelievers who have taken out all of God’s Word and His ways from the public schools. The parents are the ones who are exhorted to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord and public schools do NOT do this.

One of the top indicators of whether or not a child will continue in the faith is where, how and by whom he or she is educated. We cannot ignore this fact. How long will we twiddle our thumbs while the church loses 70-88% of its teens by the end of their freshman year in college and homeschoolers remain in the faith of their families at rates above 90%? How many times will the P.E.E.R.S. test have to demonstrate the deleterious effects of government education on Christian worldview development before we admit that there is a price to be paid when we close our eyes and put our kids on the little yellow bus?”
~Dr. Voddie Baucham, Jr.

In researching all of the commentaries on these verses, I felt this one summed it up the best:

The true principle here seems to be, that if a Christian in such a place is expected to lay aside his Christian principles, and if it would be deemed indecorous and improper for him to introduce the subject of religion, or if religion would be regarded is entirely inconsistent with the nature of the amusement then he is not to be found there. The world reigns there, and if the principles of his Lord and Master would be excluded, he should not be there” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible).

The world and its ways reign in the public schools. God has been completely excluded from them and they are becoming more evil by the day it seems, yet many believing parents send their innocent and teachable children to these schools all of their lives and wonder why their children are looking and acting like the ways of the world, then many depart from the faith.

Bad company corrupts good morals, we are warned, and children should not be in the public schools. The last thing that godly parents should want is to lose their children to the world, for there is no greater joy than to have children walking in truth. Yes, this takes a lot of time and sacrifice but what is more worthy of this than your children’s eternal souls?

I am going to share a few more passages from commentaries on this subject that I found interesting and profitable to the discussion.

Its meaning is, however, determined by the use of the cognate noun in Leviticus 19:19 (“Thou shalt not let thy cattle gender with a diverse kind”). Cattle were unequally yoked together when ox and ass were drawing the same plough (Deuteronomy 22:10). Men and women are so when they have no common bond of faith in God” (Ellicot’s Commentary).

Be not unequally yoked with unbelievers — Christians with Jews or heathen, godly persons with the ungodly, spiritual with such as are carnal. The apostle particularly speaks of marriage; but the reasons he urges equally hold against any needless intimacy or society with them. Of the five questions that follow, the three former contain the argument, the two latter the conclusion.

For what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness — The righteous can have no profitable, agreeable, or comfortable society or converse with the unrighteous. What communion hath light — That is, the state of light and knowledge, into which you are brought by divine mercy; with darkness — That deplorable state of ignorance and folly, vice and misery, in which they continue to be lost? And what concord hath Christ — Whom you serve; with Belial — To whom they belong, and who reigns in all the children of disobedience? Or what part — In time or in eternity; hath he that believeth — In Christ and his gospel, and who is a true, genuine disciple of Christ; with an infidel”(Benson Commentary).

It is wrong for believers to join with the wicked and profane. The word unbeliever applies to all destitute of true faith. True pastors will caution their beloved children in the gospel, not to be unequally yoked. The fatal effects of neglecting Scripture precepts as to marriages clearly appear. Instead of a help meet, the union brings a snare. Those whose cross it is to be unequally united, without their willful fault, may expect consolation under it; but when believers enter into such unions, against the express warnings of God’s word, they must expect must distress.

The caution also extends to common conversation. We should not join in friendship and acquaintance with wicked men and unbelievers. Though we cannot wholly avoid seeing and hearing, and being with such, yet we should never choose them for friends. We must not defile ourselves by converse with those who defile themselves with sin.

Come out from the workers of iniquity, and separate from their vain and sinful pleasures and pursuits; from all conformity to the corruptions of this present evil world. If it be an envied privilege to be the son or daughter of an earthly prince, who can express the dignity and happiness of being sons and daughters of the Almighty?” (Matthew Henry).

He here says, that one mode of remuneration would be to yield obedience to his commands, and to separate themselves from all improper alliance with unbelievers. ‘Make me this return for my love. Love me as a proof of your affection, be not improperly united with unbelievers. Listen to me as a father addressing his children, and secure your own happiness and piety by not being unequally yoked with those who are not Christians.’

It is implied in the use of the word that there is a dissimilarity between believers and unbelievers so great that it is as improper for them to mingle together as it is to yoke animals of different kinds and species. The ground of the injunction is, that there is a difference between Christians and those who are not, so great as to render such unions improper and injurious. The direction here refers doubtless to all kinds of improper connections with those who were unbelievers.

It has been usually supposed by commentators to refer particularly to marriage. But there is no reason for confining it to marriage. It doubtless includes that, but it may as well refer to any other intimate connection, or to intimate friendships, or to participation in their amusements and employments, as to marriage. The radical idea is, that they were to abstain from all connections with unbelievers – with infidels, and pagans, and those who were not Christians, which would identify them with them; or they were to have no connection with them in anything as unbelievers, pagans, or infidels; they were to partake with them in nothing that was special to them as such” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible).

Beware lest any  man spoil you through empty philosophy and vain deceit, after the tradition of men, after the rudiments of the world and not after Christ.
Colossians 2:8