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Month: July 2018

The Entitlement Attitude of Women

The Entitlement Attitude of Women

The reason my viral post had such a strong visceral reaction was because many women have an entitlement attitude that says they can live however they want and suffer no consequences. They can sleep around, get into huge amounts of debt by going to college (since everyone else is doing it), tattoo their bodies, and still expect a good man to want to marry them because they deserve it and “God’s grace covers all of their sins.”

“The reason so many people got upset at reading the Lori Alexander piece is because upwards of 90 percent of all American singles fail to meet her simple, tried and true standard for maximizing marital success. Rather than take a little humble pill, they are defiant against God and his simple-to-follow rules. They want to equivocate, obfuscate, and make themselves the exception to the rules. It’s totally understandable. We all have that desire.”

Yes, God’s grace covers all of our sins once we believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior but it doesn’t mean that we won’t bear the consequences of our sins. It also doesn’t give us the freedom to continue in sin. All we deserve is hell and damnation except for Christ’s shed blood for us so get the entitlement attitude that is so prevalent today out of your mind. If but for Christ, we would all be lost in our sin without any hope.

I sure had preferences for the man I was hoping to one day marry. I wanted him to be a godly man, a virgin, hard-working, athletic, and taller than me! Was I wrong to have these standards? No! And neither are any of you but you must expect high standards for yourself, too; for we are promised that we will reap what we sow. I asked my husband if he would have wanted to marry me if I had slept around, had high amounts of debt, and tattoos and he said, “Absolutely not!” No, none of us will ever be perfect but some sins are much more destructive to the happiness of a future marriage than others.

Mychael Klajic wrote a well-thought out response to my article. She wasn’t a virgin, had debt, and a tattoo when she married. She clearly understands the consequences of her sin and doesn’t try to hide this fact. We all live with regrets of past actions because sin is destructive. We should never try to minimize sin and say that it is not harmful. It is! We must repent from our wicked ways and seek to live holy lives as His Spirit works mightily within us.

“If you are a typical 30-something girl who had been playing the field in your twenties, the ONLY way you have any chance to marry a high quality, high status man is to humble yourself in the presence of any man you might like to marry, and answer any and all questions he has for you. At any point, he may decide that is too much baggage and walk away.”

Mychael grieves about her past sins and how they affect her today. “In fact, even if you do all that, you will still have the second and third order effects of that life FOREVER. You can never get the pictures of your spouse with someone else out of your mind. You can NEVER really stop wondering if you are being compared. You can mentally control it, and minimize it. But it’s always there. Then there are the children. Someday, they will start asking questions about their step brother’s origin. It breaks my heart to think of that conversation. And it should break my heart.”

For me to teach young women to be virtuous seems to be forbidden in many churches today apparently, as is teaching women to be submissive towards their husbands, silent in the churches, and being keepers at home. Something is so wrong about this! I completely disagree with this sentiment and will continue to teach younger women the ways of godliness because they are good and for their good!

“It matters to your future husband what you did before you met him. Do not pretend that he should just take you with all that baggage because you are sooo awesome. You created most of it yourself. The previous two or three generations of men were conditioned by their baby boomer parents to believe that it doesn’t matter. But the ones under forty have been warned. The party’s over, girls. And Lori’s three markers are a really good way to screen for that stuff. Are you the exception? Who knows? Why should you burden your future husband with the task of figuring it out?”

For God hath not called us unto uncleanness, but unto holiness.
1 Thessalonians 4:7

Women Being Quiet in the Churches was Cultural?

Women Being Quiet in the Churches was Cultural?

Women these days do not like to be told that they are to be quiet in the churches and not preach/teach men. God tells us that it’s shameful for women to speak in the churches and if they have a question, they need to ask their husbands at home. In fact, the late great preacher Charles Spurgeon wrote, “When women of piety mount the pulpit, they do so in direct defiance of the command of the Holy Spirit written by the pen of the Apostle Paul.”

In order to water-down these following verses, women will find many excuses to diminish what Paul is clearly teaching here:

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church” (1 Corinthians 14:34, 35).

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression” (2 Timothy 2:11, 12).

Amy wrote on my Facebook page, “So these verses are definitely in the Bible, BUT are being taken out of the context they were intended. At this time, the women were having a problem being unruly and causing problems so this is the instructions given to the church AT THIS TIME. It was for them only. Not intended for all time.”

My comment to her would be, “Oh, really? So women today have meek and quiet spirits and have no problems with being unruly and causing problems?”

Here are some more responses to Amy from women in the chat room:

Paige: I’ve heard this argument before. The problem is, if the things that Paul wrote were “only” for “those people,” why even bother reading his letters? Either the Bible is inerrant and unchanging, applying for all time, or it’s not. It cannot be both.

Meredith: Yes. My question to this woman would be, “Then why not apply that reasoning to every instruction given by Paul?” Or even beyond that, why not use that reasoning for any command in the Bible? Maybe God only commanded against idolatry, murder, and coveting for that specific time. You could use that argument to justify ignoring pretty much any passage of Scripture. It all goes back to Satan’s original temptation, “Did God really say…?”

Ronda: Exactly! I was thinking along these same lines yesterday, especially after Lori made a post that many try to change the meaning of verses that pertain to women but not verses that deal with men. They are constantly digging into the “original” Greek words in the verses they do not like to find something to change the meaning to suit what they and our current culture want to hear. If we cannot trust that the translators wrote what they knew God was saying about women, how can we trust that any of the Bible was translated correctly?

Lydia: What these women don’t understand is that being able to be in church learning quietly (like the men were doing themselves at the time) was a huge thing. Up to that point, women did not learn in the temple at all; the men did! It’s not a bad thing at all but a blessing and when we see how quickly women turn contentious over little things, being quiet is also a wise thing sometimes.

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
Hebrews 4:12

What Men Thought of My Viral Post

What Men Thought of My Viral Post

There was definitely mass hysteria among Christians surrounding my viral post. It’s a clear example of how easily women are led by their emotions and feelings instead of the truth of God’s Word. A man who runs a popular blog for men wrote about this hysteria: “Lori Alexander set the Christian Feminists clucking with her recent post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos. The furious response was entirely predictable precisely because what Lori wrote is true. Feminists can’t stand the idea of giving young women good advice on how to compete for the best husbands, as this puts the feminist dream of having it all in jeopardy.”

The following are some quotes from men who commented on his post. These comments show these men get it in a world that is quickly losing the point of Christianity. Since most of you have only read the numerous articles and watched YouTube videos attacking me for writing the post, I thought I would give you a different perspective.

“A spot on article. These ladies act as though, for the majority of history, tattooed, in-debt, whores were all the rage and now this article is going against the grain! Quite the opposite! Its a sad view on where our society, and modern Christianity, have ended up.”

“I have never seen such a concerted attack on Christian sexual ethics as I have in response to this article. It’s never been more obvious to me just how far gone the Western church is.”

“Reading comprehension isn’t popular any more, apparently; this is the third woman [who wrote an article against Lori] to read ‘men prefer’ and somehow transmute that into something like ‘God loves only….’ There are a lot of women who really want to tell men what they should prefer…or else!”

“Neither Lori… nor Lori’s defenders once said that women who have had premarital sex, or women with debt, or women with tattoos are impure, irredeemable, irretrievably corrupt, worthless, cannot marry, or should not marry. No one says these women are unattractive.

“All that was asserted is that Christian men PREFER tattoo free, debt free virgins FOR MARRIAGE. And that has been distorted and bastardized into ‘nonvirgin women with tattoos and debt are worthless, corrupt, impure, ugly, awful and terrible.’ No one anywhere said that or anything even close to that.”

“I do have some sympathy for the reaction this article of Lori’s has caused. I would feel incredibly guilty too if I had deviated from what I know to be right. It is natural to feel guilty when you know you have done something wrong. I guess we have all experienced this in one way or another.”

A man responded to the quote above: “I don’t feel any sympathy, but exactly the opposite, because exactly the WRONG reaction is triggered. When you FEEL guilty, maybe it is because you ARE guilty of sinning. In such cases there’s only ONE thing to do: repent and ask God for forgiveness! NOT trying to argue it away or accuse people of heaping shame on sinners for calling out the sin. The latter is the WORST you can do, and the LEAST we should expect from Christians. I cannot believe such basics of faith are not comprehended.

“No, the real problem is that Alexander puts her thumb squarely on a sore spot for soft complementarians and Christian feminists: resentment of the judgment of men.”

“Sleeping around, debt, and tattoos indicate a lack of self-control and wisdom. They’re undesirable. If a man is willing to overlook red flags, then fine, but just like with any other vocation it takes two to tango, and it’s not wrong to reject a former [loose woman] for marriage any more than it is for a company to reject hiring a former thief as its accountant. Sometimes you do stupid stuff and it comes back to bite you, even if you’re forgiven by Christ. That’s life as an adult, ladies.”

“They should just name their posts: God wants you to be a virgin and that’s exactly why you shouldn’t be one. Notice that it is ‘prefer’ (men prefer), not that men will only accept such.. but still, just that men prefer something to something else sets them ablaze. Men are not allowed to have a preference at all apparently.”

“You can set a clock on the predictability of these people and their hysterical responses to cold hard truth. Of course men find women more desirable if they look feminine (no tattoos), act feminine (not a crazed man hating feminist), and haven’t had countless men [have sex with them]. In any other period of time, when sanity ruled, people would have read this and rolled their eyes that something this obvious even needed to be said.

“These contemptible, screeching women always fall back to the old tried and true line that God is a God of grace and He forgives you regardless of your past blah, blah, blah. Yes, He is a forgiving God and full of grace, but He still lays out His preferred (i.e. the optimal) way of doing things. He clearly says to not engage in premarital sex and speaks against tattoos (Leviticus 19:28) and lots of piercings while encouraging modesty (1 Timothy 2:9).

“In light of these few examples, it’s difficult to argue Lori is wrong with the stance she takes in her article. It’s no sin to marry a college educated, non-virgin tattooed woman, but anytime you deviate from the God-prescribed way of doing things, you are just asking for serious problems.”

“People (of both sexes) like to delude themselves into believing that because God forgives them of their sins (if they REPENT – another inconvenient requirement churchians want to flush down the memory hole) that this also automatically removes temporal consequences that arise from their sins. Nope.

“God’s forgiveness simply means that His grace has redeemed your soul. That has nothing to do with earthly consequences of sin. A prostitute who contracts AIDS in the ‘line of duty’ might be redeemed after accepting Christ as her savior, but that doesn’t automatically mean that she’s cured of her disease or that she magically becomes marriage material so that some Christian man should wife her up.”

“What is funny is that in most of the rest of the world (outside of the West), not only is this centuries-old norm understood, but people would be surprised that anyone thinks otherwise.”

“Would these ladies be freaked out by an article titled ‘Women dig financially independent guys who stay fit and don’t watch porn?'”

“Isn’t Alexander also the woman who advocated not expecting your husband to do chores? That makes the second time she’s provoked a strong and bitter reaction. Unlike parents touting their boys prancing about in full makeup, or women describing their abortion, I would call her post courageous. Funny old world, when depravity is normal and virtue shocking.”

“Most these responses are upset that someone said a truth they don’t like. Few are disputing that men really do prefer debt-free virgins for marriage. They are railing at reality. They are arguing for men to change their mind, but most accept this is what men want for a spouse. For Christian men, it’s not even close.

“Of course, we live in a fallen world and some will make mistakes. But the ideal should be very clear for men and women and we should all celebrate those who are chaste and work to restore that as the norm.

“I think so many have sinned so much that as a society we try and minimize sin instead of accept our dependence on Christ. ‘Oh, fornicating before marriage is no big deal. Everyone does it. They were in love.’ If you truly experienced the realization of your sins and Christ’s grace, you would do everything in your world to convince men and women to avoid these serious sins. You would never make excuses. You would beg and plead that young women went to marriage virgins. But we just blithely smear grace over everything we do and forget the price paid.”

“The new tack Christian feminists take is that virginity isn’t important. Following God’s rules isn’t important. If you point out someone isn’t a virgin (more likely that they were promiscuous at one or more points in their lives), you’re ‘attacking’ them and focusing on ‘all the wrong things.’

“We bear the scars of our sexual pasts. Repeated heartache and pain of breakup and loss. Trust issues. Inability or unwillingness to bond. Inability/unwillingness to trust one of the opposite sex. Incurable STDs, especially herpes, HPV, and a host of others. Sexual ‘hangups’ or reservations caused by bad experiences in the past. Rape. Unwanted pregnancy. Abortion. Never learning healthy relationships with the opposite sex.”

“And it’s not so much people saying ‘if you’re not a virgin you’re forever corrupt and impure and dirty.’ It’s people saying ‘the Biblical rule is no sex outside marriage, and you broke that rule, and there are consequences to breaking that rule.’

“All one has to do to find the consequences of it are to go to your local family court and watch the endless parade of fractured hearts, souls, and families. Check out Planned Parenthood. Check out a local clinic. Twenty five percent of American women are under the care of a mental health professional and/or are on antidepressant medications.

“Women have more personal liberty and freedom now than at any other time in human history, and yet they’re miserable. They get unhappier by the year. They can have sex with literally anyone they want, anytime they want, anywhere they want. And it still isn’t enough to make them happy.”

“Lori Alexander told the truth. Gotta give her credit for going against the flow of feminism.”

“Obedience to God is a manifestation of worshiping God. Getting a good man is one fruit of that obedience. Besides, these days, a virgin is just about as rare as a Proverbs 31 woman. I am sure there is a correlation to this.”

Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10

Becoming Women Who are Feminine with Meek and Quiet Spirits

Becoming Women Who are Feminine with Meek and Quiet Spirits

It is in a young woman’s nature to want to attract the opposite sex. It happens around thirteen years old or so when puberty hits. I believe it’s God’s plan since He created woman for man (1 Corinthians 11:7-9) and most woman want to be loved, protected, and provided for by a man. God also created marriage and said that it is good.

The problem is that many women go about trying to attract the opposite sex the wrong way. They dress sexually and act provocatively. They are willing sexual partners. They become loud, aggressive, and flirty. Yes, this will attract men who want easy sex but it won’t attract men who want to marry them, especially godly men.

As believers in Jesus Christ, God calls women to be feminine with meek and quiet spirits. Not only does this please the Lord (remember, all of His commands to us are for our good), but it will attract godly men and, most likely, all men. I’m not sure any man enjoys loud and aggressive women, especially being married to one since the Bible tells us it’s better to live on the corner of a roof than with a contentious wife (Proverbs 25:24).

Young women desperately need to be taught to be chaste, discreet, and good. They need to be taught to act like godly women, control their emotions (not be led by them), and be kind and loving. The most beautiful women I know are feminine women with meek and quiet spirits and it has NOTHING whatsoever to do with their looks (besides, looks fade quickly). It has to do with their calm and gentle spirit. Their husbands adore them!

Women, God knows what He is talking about. He created us and He wants us to act like feminine women the way He describes them with meek and quiet spirits. Sarah was known for adorning herself with this and her submission to Abraham. Not many women want to adorn themselves this way but this is what makes a woman beautiful to her husband. No, it’s not being a doormat but choosing to lovingly serve and submit to her husband, as Christ asks us to do. When we do this, we are lovingly serving and submitting to the Lord.

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:3, 4

*Image by Daniel Gerhartz

Sarah: Our Example to Obey Our Husband

Sarah: Our Example to Obey Our Husband

Why do you think God used Sarah, who we know obeyed Abraham twice when he asked her to lie and then she was put into the King’s harem, as an example of submission for us to follow in 1 Peter 3:5, 6? “For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husband: Even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”

The first question must be asked, “Why did Sarah lie?” Abraham asked Sarah to say that she was his sister because he feared for his life. “Surely the fear of God is not in this place; and they will slay me for my wife’s sake” (Genesis 20:11). Then he explained to the king that she was actually his sister after he was caught in the lie. “And yet indeed she is my sister; she is the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother; and she became my wife” (Genesis 20:12).

Sarah was a beautiful woman and Abraham thought that these people were so wicked that they would kill him for his wife if she didn’t lie. Was she in sin? She did obey her husband and she didn’t want her husband to die so I wouldn’t call it sin. In fact, God closed “up all the wombs of the house of Ambimelech, because of Sarah Abraham’s wife” (Genesis 20:18). God protected Sarah even though she “lied” to the king.

If the Nazis were coming for my husband to put him in the death camps, you can bet I would lie about his whereabouts. God is more concerned with life than a lie to protect that life. Therefore, Sarah is held up to us as a submissive wife for us to follow because she lived in submission to her husband by doing as he told her to do even though it put her in danger of the king wanting sexual relations with her. God protected her in her submission to her husband by speaking to the king in a dream and telling him that Sarah was Abraham’s wife and he would die if he didn’t give Sarah back to Abraham (Genesis 20:3-7).

Was Sarah perfectly submissive to Abraham all the time? No, because she wasn’t perfect as none of us are but she had chosen to obey God in her submission to her husband and she adorned herself with it as we are called to do.

What if a husband does ask a wife to sin and it doesn’t have anything to do with saving his life? I do know that if a wife is living in loving submission to her husband and submitting in the little and big things, she has a much better chance of her husband listening to her and being able to say “no” to him while still respecting him, if he does in fact ask her to do something she considers sinful. She will be able to give a gentle appeal that he will most likely listen to because he will know that her heart is to please him and he will probably feel badly that he asked her to do something sinful. But even if a wife thinks her husband is wrong about something, but it’s not sinful, she must obey her husband. Most women need to focus upon this instead of the “what if…?” exceptions to submission.

Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 3:6

*Image by Daniel Gerhartz

Are Tattoos Sinful?

Are Tattoos Sinful?

Tattoos was a hot topic of conversation on my viral post. In all of the years that I have been blogging, I have never written about this topic. I had never even thought about it much until my viral post. I do know that I have never wanted a tattoo and when I was growing up, we knew that tattoos weren’t for godly women. The more I have thought about tattoos, the more solid my convictions have become against them.

I want to make sure that you all know that having one or many tattoos will not keep you from eternal life with Jesus Christ. The only way to be saved from the wrath to come is to “confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and … believe in thine heart that God has raised Him from the dead” (Romans 10:9). The convictions that I am going to share are my convictions and you will have to study the Word to come to your own.

Most people today, even those who call themselves Christian, follow along too easily with the flow of culture instead of examining their actions to see if they are compatible with the Word of God. Let’s first see what God’s Word has to say about tattoos.

“Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:28). Yes, this verse is from the Law which we, as believers in Jesus Christ are no longer under (“For Christ is the end of the law for righteousness to every one that believes” – Romans 10:4). However, we can know the heart of God by what is in the Law and we can see that His heart is for us to not cut our flesh or put any marks upon us (no, not even the mark of the beast!).

Secondly, women are commanded to be “shamefaced” (1 Timothy 2:9) and modest which means to do nothing to draw undue attention to ourselves. Tattoos draw attention. I always notice them on people if they are visible.

We are also commanded to be discreet. Discreet means “wise in avoiding errors or evil; cautious; wary; not rash; reserved; showing good judgment in conduct.” Before we take any action, especially something like getting a tattoo, we must carefully consider if this is being shamefaced, modest, and discreet as the Lord has called us to be. Is it showing good judgment?

I know there are many reasons women have for getting tattoos and I’m not going to judge those who have them or think any less of them. I am simply appealing to those of you who are considering getting one to ponder if they are feminine and the right thing to do. Maybe you already have one though and you wish you could take it back, well don’t worry you can easily get Laser tattoo removal and then it would be like it never happened. It’s not the end of the world, there is a always a solution that can fix something.

Another thing to consider is that we are the temple of the Holy Spirit. There are certainly risks in getting tattoos. They can cause an allergic reaction, skin infections, bloodborne diseases including methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA), hepatitis B and hepatitis C, and MRI complications. This is just too risky in my opinion.

There are also studies that show that men think women are more “sexually available” who have tattoos, so no godly woman would want to give the impression to men that she is sexually available by having tattoos. From Psychology Today, “While men see tattooed women as less attractive, they also see them as more promiscuous.” We want to live our lives above reproach. Many regret having tattoos later in their lives and I am sure they get uglier with age.

Whatever you do, women, make sure you study the Word and ask the Lord for wisdom. Don’t simply follow our culture on the broad path that leads to destruction. We are called to be set apart and holy in all of our ways with the Holy Spirit working mightily within us.

What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1 Corinthians 6:19, 20

Keepers at Home Means to Abide in the Home

Keepers at Home Means to Abide in the Home

Written By Scott Coltrain “Working Women and Titus 2:5”

For over a half-century, we have witnessed our society depart from God’s will in regard to the differing roles and responsibilities that individuals are to play based upon their gender. Feminism, more than any other ungodly philosophy, has motivated American and European societies to reject the fundamental Biblical teaching on gender roles. To even suggest, in this 21st Century, that there are different roles and responsibilities assigned by the Lord for each gender is blasphemous to our secular culture.

Tragically, most churches and their leaders have felt a need to downplay or even reject much of the Scriptural instruction on gender roles for fear of being labeled sexist and promoters of gender prejudice and ‘oppression’. For example, decades ago, most Christian pastors, teachers, and counselors in effect tore-out of their Bibles the portion of Titus 2:5 which enjoins that women (especially younger women) are to be “keepers at home.” Even those pastor/teachers who have claimed to be ‘conservative’ or ‘fundamentalist’ in their approach to the Scriptures have so distorted the meaning of the text so as to render its application void.

One must adhere to what the term meant when it was originally chosen. The fact is, “oikouros” (keepers at home) does carry the idea that the woman is to abide in the home…Does this mean that the woman is completely prohibited from leaving the home? Does this mean that the woman cannot engage in any activities outside the home? No, the term does not support that extreme position. It means that the home is the focal point of the woman’s life and career. It means that the home is where the woman employs her time, energy and abilities. In his Biblical Greek Primer, William Mounce says that the woman is to be a “domestic.”

Dangers of women working outside of the home:

First, married women who are in the workforce have higher rates of divorce as opposed to married women who are ‘keepers and workers at home’. There are a few reasons for this. First, women who work outside the home feel that they should have greater say on how ‘their’ earnings are spent. This often leads to financial conflicts. Financial conflict is the second most common reason for divorces. Secondly, a married woman who enters the workforce feels less dependent upon her husband for financial/legal security and high self-esteem. Such women are far more likely to divorce their husbands. Thirdly, women who spend a great deal of time with other men in the workplace are far more likely to develop intimate relationships with them which leads to affairs and divorces. Likewise, the women at the workplace are a temptation for the men to pursue.

Secondly, mothers who choose to work outside the home harm the emotional, mental and social development of their children. A secure mother–child attachment is associated with positive peer interactions, social behaviors, emotions, and healthy exploratory behaviors. Children are most likely to experience healthy social–emotional development when they are secure in their attachment to their mothers and when their mothers exhibit attentive sensitivity throughout their childhood. When children spend more time in the care of someone other than their mothers, those mothers tend to show lower levels of sensitivity and there are fewer positive interactions between mother and child (Among those with children under age 18, 40% of working mothers say they always feel rushed). As a result, these children are more likely to experience attachment insecurity, which can lead to negative moods (depression and anxiety) and behaviors.

The top reason I hear by men and women alike to justify women working outside the home is that in our present economy it is impossible for a family to survive on a single paycheck. However, this is a very weak excuse if one is serious about living according to godly standards and values rather than worldly standards and values. A considerable number of Christian men and women have fallen prey to worldly materialism. They yearn for and seek fancy homes, plush furniture and fine home furnishings, the latest entertainment systems and programming, the most up-to-date technological gadgets, the current most popular fashions, the latest vehicle models with all of the available bells and whistles, etc. Such is a far cry from one of the most basic tenets of Christianity – live simply and invest your resources in things that will pay eternal dividends

In summation, Titus 2:5 does command that Christian wives/mothers are not to seek employment outside of the home. They are to be “workers at home.” Modern research has ‘discovered’ the wisdom behind the Lord’s injunction of women entering the labor-force. When women work outside the home it weakens marriages and harms the normal inner-development of children. It is time for pastors/preachers/counselors to stand with the Word of God rather than go along with the trends and values of our worldly culture.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.
Romans 12:2

***For those of you who don’t think you can be home full time, please answer these questions: Do you want to be home full time and raise your own children? Have you sought the Lord in wisdom and asked Him to make a way for you to go home? Have you stepped out in faith and researched ways to make money from home? Do you trust the Lord as your provider and that what He commands He provides? Do you live simply and frugally so you can go home? Do you believe that with God ALL things are possible?

Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

As many of you know, my post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos went viral and is causing quite a stir. I should have definitely titled it “Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” I want to make clear that the audience I teach are those young women who want to learn biblical womanhood as according to God’s instructions in Titus 2:3-5. They love the Lord and His beautiful ways.

I have received almost 90,000 comments on this post on Facebook so far and most of them hate it. (I have thousands of comments on my blog awaiting moderation for this post, so I won’t be publishing any comments on my blog for a while.) To all of you who are believers in Jesus Christ who have debt and have not kept yourself pure, remember that God has made you a new creation in Christ, washed away all of your sin, and now you walk in newness of life!

One godly, wise woman, Jackie Hernandez, shared my post on her Facebook page with this introduction:

“So many women (and some men) are misunderstanding this article. I agree with it 100 per cent. I wish I had received this counsel when I was younger. So, young women, take heed. I would just add that I believe it is GODLY young men who prefer such a woman. This article will not make any sense to a worldly/carnal man, and plus, their desires are much different than that of a Godly man. So that being said, all praise, honor and glory be to God; I have learned from my mistakes (being in debt, being sexually immoral, and I used to have a desire to get a tattoo but never did). I have been delivered from my ungodly sinful past and am now striving to please Him in all things.”

There were a lot of other great comments on Jackie’s thread, too, that I want to share with you:

Stephanie: “I agree. Unfortunately, too many women are taught that they don’t amount to much outside of a career, yes, even in the church. We need to teach our daughters the importance of being a wife and mother, not shipping them off to college because it’s the thing to do. Its very hard to give up a career that you’ve spent so much money and time on for your family. But as a stay at home mom, who homeschools her kids, I know what even an at home job can do to the family.

“Our kids need someone there for them to help them through the stages as they get older. My quite successful at home business is the one decision I regret, even though we needed it at the time. I would rather live in a trailer and have the time to teach my kids to follow Jesus than have the American dream. I urge every Christian mom out there to not give into the temptation to work while raising your kids. If you can do it, do it. Even if it means sacrifice. You will never regret it; we must train up our children in the way that they should go.

“The world will teach them to think differently, this is a battle we must fight for. The influences are very strong, even for those who are homeschooled and active in church. The worldly influences are there, too: they’re on social media, they’re in worldly music, and they’re in movies and TV. We are living in the days of Noah, and we need to protect our children from the evil in the world, and this is not an easy task, but I can say, that when you have done this, you will know that your children are ready to face the world with Jesus, and you will have no fear, because they are grounded in the truth. That is the best feeling ever.”

Aaron: “Great post! Sure to stir up the Facebook friends.

“Tattoos are sin:
Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print ANY marks upon you: I am the Lord.

“Fornication is Sin:
1 Corinthians 7:2
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

“Debt is slavery:
Proverbs 22:7
The rich ruleth over the poor,
and the borrower is servant to the lender.

“This article is speaking to young ladies who might consider getting a tattoo. We know that it is better for a girl not to get a tattoo. If she has a tattoo, it is not something she should be proud of, but it should be a tool that she uses to teach other young ladies not to get tattoos. She should do her best in public to cover her tattoos up. People with tattoos go to heaven, as long as they are repentant of all their past ones, and do not glorify them in the future. Having tattoos, having drank, having smoked, having strange piercings – do any of these things discredit a repentant Christian from being all that they can be for God? No. But I am not proud of anything that I have done, or the scars that I bear for my sins. Lori Alexander spoke 100% what I would say to my future daughters as they grow up.”

Jackie Hernandez to Laura who was offended by my post: “You’re misunderstanding her. She is speaking to young ladies – to women who are not in debt and planning to get loans for college, etc. Those who currently do not have any tattoos and are still virgins. She is warning them and giving them counsel: encouraging them to not ruin their feminine, soft, and delicate skin, to not go into debt because bringing that in a marriage is a burden and can get in the way of raising Godly children and from having any time to please their husband and being a keeper at home, because they’ll be working trying to pay off their debt and to remain pure before marriage – to be the women God created us to be for our future husbands. The way it should be. God’s way.

“Sister, if we read the article in the flesh, then it will surely offend us. But if we read it in the spirit, it should not cause us any offense. I am not a virgin (I was a very sexually immoral woman), and I currently owe some debt which I hope and pray I am able to pay off before marriage because it would be a burden for not only me, but my husband and future children as well. This article did not offend me whatsoever. Pure women, debt-free, and tattoo-free are definitely more attractive and more desirable to a Godly man. The reason that is, is because it’s the way God created us. It’s the way God wants us to be but sadly, many of us have sinned in those areas. However, that does not change the fact that following God’s ways is more attractive.

“Tattoos ruin the beautiful skin of a woman. God created us as feminine creatures with soft and delicate skin. Tattoos take that away but that is not to say we have not been forgiven. We are forgiven if we repent and no longer defile our bodies. But this is simply the truth. Also, that does not mean a Godly man will not desire you. It just means that having tattoos is less attractive because that is not the way God made us – with tattoos. The way God made us IS attractive; there is no denying that fact if we believe that everything He has created is GOOD.

“Entering into a marriage covenant in purity and becoming one flesh with only the man God gave us. It’s a beautiful thing – having no other soul ties. This article actually encouraged me to teach my future daughters that God’s ways are best and truly beautiful (which I wish I was taught when I was younger) and tell them about the consequences of following after the ways of the world.”

Stephanie to Laura: “No one is condemning you. I don’t know why you take offense to the article. A godly man may desire a woman because of her faith, despite her tattoos, debt, and lack of virginity, but he will never be attracted to her because of those things. Yet, a godly man may find a woman who has kept herself pure, her body free from worldly corruption, and free from debt attractive because it is evidence of her true faith.

“I plan to teach my daughters to think about how their actions will affect their future husbands. They are preparing to be wives and mothers. Fornicating, marking our bodies, and becoming burdened with debt (all unbiblical things) are not things that would have our future husbands in mind. You said that you teach young women, but aren’t you concerned that one of these young women might be emboldened to get a tattoo because you have one?

“I hope that you are careful to cover them so that you do not cause a sister or daughter in the faith to sin, without even knowing it. Maybe someone who sees you in this position and notices your tattoos says to themselves, ‘well Laura has one, so it’s not really so bad,’ and justifies their sin this way. Yet, if their godly mentor and teacher has kept herself pure in these things, she is a greater encouragement to the girls, because she is an example that with the Lord’s power, it can be done.

“A man who has been divorced and remarried can never be a preacher or a deacon in the church. Not because he is not washed and cleansed of his previous sins, but because he is a bad example. This is not condemnation, just the fact. Would you rather not put yourself in a position to cause others to sin? So yes, we still deal with our past in a way, but we are not to judge others according to the flesh. It would not be right to judge you by your tattoos and decide you were an ungodly woman but that doesn’t mean it’s attractive.”

Robyn: “I have a tattoo and bad pasts and I can use it all to show young ladies my regret and express to them not to make permanent decisions at a young age. And also express God’s perspective on these things. It also helps me to boast in my weaknesses. And the power of grace which dwells upon me. We can’t pretend the tattoos are invisible when they aren’t and we also must be realistic that the consequence of such sins do follow us into the future. Though they won’t go into heaven with us; we will deal with them beforehand.

“It’s like having several dads to multiple children. One can repent, but the fathers don’t go away and we must deal with what we have done. Our new spouses must also deal with this truth. I cover my tattoo and apologize when it shows. I also glorify God when the opportunity to speak the truth of God’s disapproval on tattoos and plant that seed when it happens. All things work together for the good.”

Beau: “Godly men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos. I’m actually a godly man, and no matter how many times you tell yourself it’s not true, if you are without the humility to admit the truth to yourself, you might not be as desirable as you think.”

Chad: “I have a tattoo, was in debt when I married my wife, and was not a virgin and I 1000 per cent agree with the article. Every one of the items was my rebellion and sin against God and I just was blessed with my wife.”

In conclusion, I want all of you to not just take what I write and believe it all to be true. Search the Scriptures for yourself and find truth there. I am human and fallible. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me all of the time. I only agree with the Bible 100 percent! I try very hard to stay true and faithful to the Word of God. I have studied it for many years.

Along with teaching from the Word, I teach from my life experiences since I am 60 years old in a few weeks and have been married almost 38 years. I have raised four children to adulthood and now am enjoying being a grandmother. I am NOT the final authority on Truth. Only God’s Word is so please, be a Berean and study the Word for yourself so you can easily distinguish between truth and that which is not true. Make sure your convictions are based upon the Word of God.

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
Acts 17:11

The Inner Vacuum of Emptiness

The Inner Vacuum of Emptiness

Many today feel a deep sense of emptiness so they try to fill it with drugs, sex, entertainment, money, and many other things. Why is this so common today? Dr. Archibald Hart in his book “Me, Myself, and I” has a good explanation.

Psychologically, this inner vacuum (feeling of emptiness) is exacerbated by a strange cultural paradox: the self in our time is expected to function in a highly autonomous and isolated way. As the defined norms for health, we ‘individuate’ and ‘differentiate’ very early in life. Most of us are forced to separate from the family, to stand alone, and ‘be ourselves’ by being sent to school.

Much of what we now see in clinical practice are not major aberrations of the mind, but rather disorders of the self – ranging from sexual identity problems, to feelings of being uncared for, or trying to escape one’s existence through various addictions. Most modern people suffer from a profound erosion of self-worth, interpersonal success, conflict, and identity problems.”

How can we expect to raise healthy children into healthy adults when most parents send their children off to schooling for most of their childhood and the children have to fend for themselves at young ages instead of being nurtured, trained, disciplined, and cared for by their parents in the safe environment of their home? How can we expect anything different from the results we are seeing in our culture when many children are being raised without a mother and father? What about children not being raised full time by their mothers but instead being raised by strangers who can’t possibly love them as much as their mothers love them?

It’s the parents’ job to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. It’s their responsibility to give them self-worth by giving them plenty of love and affection along with protecting them with boundaries and discipline. Many parents have abdicated this role to strangers and we, as a culture, are reaping bad fruit as a result.

How come when I encourage married couples to stay married until “death do you part” as God commands, do women have to swarm my Facebook post about them or someone they know being in an abusive relationship and are so thankful they got out? Why can’t they just leave it be and hope it encourages the many who are divorcing because they are not “fulfilled” or not “happy” or have found “their soul mate” who is not their husband, hopefully be convicted by what I write at least for their children’s sake? Am I not supposed to teach women to stay married until death to they part because some women have been or are in abusive relationships (yes, they need to seek protection)? I will continue to teach the truth of God’s Word and pray it will convict those who read it.

God tells us that His people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Many today who hate God’s ways aren’t having children but Christians still are. The problem is that many of these Christians then send their children off all day to be educated by those who hate God and His ways then lose their children to the world.

Women, we are a remnant and must live in obedience to God with His Spirit working mightily with us! We must stay married, bear children, and raise godly offspring as God has commanded that we do. Protect the remnant from the evil of this day and age. Read the Word of God instead of learning the wicked ways of this world.

Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 11:18, 19

If God Loves Me, Why Am I Suffering?

If God Loves Me, Why Am I Suffering?

This post was written by a pastor friend of ours who wants to remain anonymous. I believe it will bless you!

It is hardly surprising that so many followers of Christ struggle with the reality of trials in their lives. The question is often stated this way: “If God loves me, why am I suffering as I am?”

There are a few misconceptions when we even ask such a question. The first misconception is that God owes you a pain free life. Hidden in that misconception is the perspective that we are such good persons we don’t deserve trials or difficulties. The Bible is quite clear that none of us are righteous, in fact, without regeneration by the Spirit, we are actually objects of God’s wrath.

So we need to dispel from our thinking that God owes us anything but His anger and His punishment for our sins. But the believer in Jesus should firmly fix into his or her thinking the wonderful truth that God is, by nature, a good God. God’s nature is goodness itself and all that God has created and all His ways and actions toward His children are always good and for our good. At no time does God ever act toward one of His children in a way that is not for His child’s welfare.

Someone will immediately ask how a good God could allow cancer to take away a loved one, or allow the cruelty of war to take away the lives of millions. Perhaps the most devastating loss is the death of an infant or child. How do we respond to such a devastating loss?
What we should not do is abandon our core belief that God is good. His ways are always right. Surely there are not just one or two reasons why God has taken a child from us, but a thousand reasons. We are unable to see into the future to understand God’s purposes. But there are many comforting truths that can help us during the devastating times.

Is the trial you are undergoing causing you to pray more fervently? If so, is that a good thing?

Is the trial helping you to recognize your own weakness and your need of a Savior? If so, is that a good thing?

Is the trial reminding you that this life is short and eternity is long? If so, is that a good thing?

Is the trial making you long for heaven, to be dissatisfied with this world? If so, is that a good thing?

And is this trial making you glad that Christ’s suffering at the cross was in order to ultimately rescue you from sin and suffering, death and hell? If so, is that a good thing?

The Bible makes clear, especially a passage such as James, chapter 1, that trials are for our good, sent by a good and gracious God. Trials are, in fact, what God uses to sanctify and perfect us. Don’t look upon trials as tragedies.

Instead, see them as heaven-sent by a God who always does what is good and right for our good and to make us increasingly like Him. In fact, thank the Lord for trials. They have been sent because He loves you and knows what is best for you you both now and for eternity.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28