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Month: September 2017

The Devastation of Premarital Sex

The Devastation of Premarital Sex

Asked by The New York Times in 1992 of what he was proudest, Hefner responded: “That I changed attitudes toward sex. That nice people can live together now. That I decontaminated the notion of premarital sex. That gives me great satisfaction.”

Hugh Hefner had a hardened heart to the truth of God’s Word. What has been the result of premarital sex and living together? Has one thing good come from it or does our Creator know that fornication is wrong and it hurts us? Who do you trust: God or Hugh Hefner? If you trust Hugh Hefner and have no problem with premarital sex, your chances of disease, lovelessness, abortion, divorce, and even poverty go way up. These sure don’t sound worth it to me.

Instead, if you choose to follow God’s will and wait until marriage, you will not acquire sexual diseases, your marriage will most likely be much stronger and loving, and your chance of poverty goes way down according to George Will in his article Listen up, millennials. There’s sequence to success“First get at least a high school diploma, then get a job, then get married, and only then have children. Wang and Wilcox, focusing on millennials ages 28 to 34, the oldest members of the nation’s largest generation, have found that only 3 percent who follow this sequence are poor.”

Daily I receive many lewd and cruel comments from those who have hardened hearts and hate the Lord and His ways. I have been reading through the book of Mark and have noticed that Jesus spoke about people who witnessed Him raise people from the dead and heal others from diseases yet continue to have hardened hearts. Even in Revelation during the Tribulation when horrible things are happening on earth, angels are sent to preach the gospel yet the people keep hardening their hearts.

But truth never comes back void for those whose hearts soften as some women in the chat room* shared yesterday. Some found me when my post went viral in the past. Molly wrote: “Shamefully, I was a woman who once scoffed at the idea of submission and had no idea why it was written in the Bible. I just ignored that part. 🙁 The only thing that made me willing to listen was Lori. I don’t know why I kept reading her blog even when I disagreed (not that I wrote that on her blog!). When she wrote that we are to have soft, teachable hearts, some hardness inside me broke. She drew me to Christ and to my role as a wife when I used to be so angry and driven to succeed in worldly terms. I was hell on wheels to those around me at times.”

Jessica wrote right under Molly: “I followed for a while silently, and Lori softened my heart. She’s the motherly figure I always needed in my life. A woman who teaches me how to be a woman that is joyful and kind. She alone walked me right into God’s words. I have never known such peace.”

Our ways will never be better than God’s ways. Hugh Hefner most undoubtedly died a lonely, troubled man unless he repented and believed in Jesus Christ on his death bed. Eternity in the lake of fire is a long time to suffer for having hardened hearts to the truth. Thankfully, there will always be a remnant who hear the truth, the seeds begin to sprout, and take root! They begin to love the Lord and His ways and walk in them. They have tasted and seen that the Lord is good.

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.
John 14:27

*The chat room is only for those women who have soft, teachable hearts to the ways of the Lord and want to learn about godly womanhood. In order to join, you must ask to join, then fill out an application and even allow a moderator to friend you to see your Facebook page.

Women Obey Their Lying Emotions

Women Obey Their Lying Emotions

Dennis Prager states on his radio program frequently that men’s battle is with their sexual nature and women’s battle is with their emotional nature and I believe their desire to control. Douglas Wilson has written an absolutely brilliant piece about this titled Miserable Wives. I was once a miserable wife. I allowed my emotions and feelings to be the authority in my life instead of my husband and I see many women destroying their marriages doing the same thing.

Women are 70% more likely to divorce their husbands than husbands divorcing their wives. Their husbands aren’t meeting up to the expectations they have created and these false expectations are tearing apart their families. Many women don’t believe they need men in their lives anymore and can do it on their own but sadly, they find out quickly that it’s not that easy. Douglas Wilson wrote this article about an entirely fictitious person but I can tell you that it fits me almost to a tee and I am sure it does many of you as well.

“You say that you know Jon loves you, but then you say in the next breath that you feel unloved. And in every battle between your knowledge and your feelings, which one wins? You take the word of your lying feelings over the word of your accurate assessment, over against your knowledge. Your feelings are your authority, even when you know they are being deceitful. Worse yet, Jon takes them as authoritative as well.”

From the day Ken married me, I knew he loved me but he didn’t show it to me in the way I wanted him to show it. Therefore, I would be continually upset with him when he wasn’t acting like I wanted him to act and I wasn’t getting my way. These feelings would swirl in my mind until I made a mountain out of a molehill and spewed my irrational contempt towards him in a fit of anger. Then I would give him the silent treatment until he apologized appropriately. I was allowing my lying emotions to destroy our relationship.

Ken tried to speak truth into my life but for some reason I was deaf to what he said. He would say the same things over and over again but my emotions and feelings blinded me to my sin so we would continually argue about them. He was a good man. He worked hard. He was faithful to me. He deeply loved his children and was very involved in their lives but I all I could see were his faults and my emotional lies.

“But not only is he up against you—and you are, remember, kind of a force of nature—he is also up against the entire secular world and most of the Christian world. He is up against all your marriage counselors to date. He is up against the medical profession, including your doctor who prescribed your anti-depressants. In short, he is pretty close to being the soldier trying to explain to his drill sergeant how it is actually the rest of the army that is out of step. He is in a difficult place.”

No one spoke truth into my life other than Ken but he was “just” my husband and he didn’t understand how I “felt” because he wasn’t a woman. Yes, we went to counseling and they usually looked at Ken and told him to love me more or tried to figure out my childhood interferences. He sought out older and wiser men’s advice and they told him to love me more so he tried but it never worked because he always fell short of the expectations I placed upon him.

This is why I believe God has commanded older women to teach the younger women to love and obey their husbands (Titus 2:4, 5), not counselors and psychologists. Older women understand the struggles younger women have with their emotions and desire to control and can tell them plainly what God commands them to do instead.

“Now here is what you can do, and I am afraid it is an unpleasant prescription. You can submit to your husband, entirely and with a whole heart. You can determine that you are going to follow and obey him. He is good man. He is not going to take advantage of you. He is no jerk. His one great failing is not one that places him anywhere in the neighborhood of being an abuser. On top of this, your deliberate withholding of a submissive spirit is why things can never be smooth between you.”

After I read Debi Pearl’s book Created to Be His Helpmeet and I was no longer blinded to my sin in our marriage mess, I knew that I had to learn to become a submissive wife who reverenced my husband. The first thing I did was apologize to him for my behavior and allowing my emotions and feelings to hurt our marriage so badly. I had to begin treating him with kindness and warmth. I had to learn to trust him because he was trustworthy. He was my head; the head that the Lord had given me and I chose to marry. My unsubmissive and rebellious spirit had caused havoc on our marriage for way too many years so I had to give it up and obey God.

“And so what I am building up to is the fact that you need to stop listening to your own heart, and start listening to your husband. Whatever doubts you have about him as a husband, he will treat you ten times better than your emotions treat you. You need to break up with your emotions. Talk about an abusive relationship.

You need to go to Jon and seek his forgiveness for being so disrespectful of his efforts, apologize heartily, and tell him that you have resolved before God to obey him in everything. Ask him to help you to do that. I am quite aware that giving this kind of counsel is probably illegal in all fifty states, so I would be obliged if you didn’t post this on the Internet. I have enough troubles.”

If you aren’t taking your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ and renewing your mind with God’s truth, you are allowing the lies of our culture and your own emotional nature to control your behavior. Instead of doing this any longer, determine to begin obeying your husband even when you don’t feel like it. We don’t obey God just when we feel like it but because it is right. Yes, I asked Ken to help me learn to respect him, not argue with him anymore, and submit to his leadership. I not only didn’t hide this, I wrote a book about it (that all those who hate truth and God’s ways love to speak evil about and slander me but it’s to be expected so I rejoice!).

“Men and women are God’s invention. He designed us, and He designed us to function in a particular way. When we abandon that way, we lose our way, we lose our grip. Deserting our assigned sex roles is like painters abandoning paint, brushes, canvas, and going in big for conceptual art. The results just get increasingly silly and incoherent. The greatest accomplishment of feminism as such conceptual art is to make women miserable. Many of them have figured out that the promise ‘you can have it all’ is a lie, and have blamed feminism for lying to them, and have turned away from feminism. Other women, including many Christians, and I would place you in this category, have blamed their husbands for feminism’s failures.”

Begin obeying God by obeying your husband. Make your husband your authority instead of your lying emotions. You will one day find that you are no longer a miserable wife but one that enjoys being married to the man you chose as your husband until death do you part. Let this be no longer be said about you: 

For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.
2 Timothy 3:6, 7

Men are God’s Protection Over Women

Men are God’s Protection Over Women

Written By Ryan Liberty

Women were not made to be leaders in marriage or in the church. They are not lesser than men; they just have different roles.

God is actually protecting women. There is a reason that women live longer than men. They have to go through less stress and pressure because of their God-given role.

Subjection is a blessing for women. Women need a protector. Even though many women desire to be preachers they are not called to be. To do otherwise is to be in sin and to usurp the authority of man.

Many false teachers try to twist the Scriptures and say things like, “That is your interpretation.” No! That is what God clearly says! No woman should teach in the public worship and service of the church.

But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.
1 Timothy 2:12

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.
1 Peter 3:7

It all goes back to creation and order. Man was created first, then woman was created for man.

Not only that, it was Eve who was deceived by Satan, but sin entered through Adam and not Eve and we were saved by the second Adam, Jesus Christ.

The husband is the leader and the protector. Instead of questioning Eve, the one who sinned first, God questioned Adam, the leader. Adam was the head of mankind and Eve was Adam’s responsibility. Eve tried to be the leader. She tried to do her own thing. She usurped Adam’s responsibility in leadership and she was deceived and Adam subjected himself to her deception. We should also note that Satan tempted Eve over Adam.

 For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.
1 Timothy 1:13, 14

For indeed man was not created for the woman’s sake, but woman for the man’s sake.
1 Corinthians 11:9

But I am afraid that, as the serpent deceived Eve by his craftiness, your minds will be led astray from the simplicity and purity of devotion to Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:3

Women have an essential role that they should never run from. The role of a woman in the church and in marriage is so great that Satan seeks to attack it with the feminist movement and rebellious women who infiltrate Christianity. Women will find true fulfillment through childbearing.

Women are given the responsibility of raising up godly children, which is essentially leading the human race to godliness. This is why Satan hates this so much! The godliness of a mother has the greatest impact on a child. There is a relationship between a mother and a child that is unlike any other. Why do you think this generation is getting worse?

Many women don’t want to pursue their godly role, but would rather throw their kids in daycare. Why would a woman want any other role when their role not only has a huge impact on their children, but also the whole generation? Praise the Lord for your responsibility that will bring a blessing to this world.

But women will be saved through childbearing–if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
1 Timothy 2:15

So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
1 Timothy 5:14

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
Proverbs 31:28

Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.
Titus 2:3-5

Elders (the leaders of the churches) are always men in Scripture. 1 Timothy 3 lets us know that it is not culturally based like some may say.

Deacons likewise must be men of dignity, not double-tongued, or addicted to much wine or fond of sordid gain.
1 Timothy 3:8

An elder must be blameless, faithful to his wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.
Titus 1:6

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach.
1 Timothy 3:2

A deacon must be faithful to his wife and must manage his children and his household well.
1 Timothy 3:12

The Permanent Adorning of the Heart

The Permanent Adorning of the Heart

As godly women, we are not called to spend a lot of time and money adorning our outward appearance, but to adorn ourselves with a meek and quiet spirit, along with being in subjection unto our own husbands (1 Peter 3:4, 5). Have you seen a woman who doesn’t spend much time on her outward appearance but lives in subjection to her husband? I have and it’s a beautiful thing to watch. She is beautiful to her husband. She has learned to control her lusts and selfish ambitions and beautifies herself with something that has eternal value.

I was eager again to learn what commentaries had to say about adorning ourselves with a meek and quiet spirit since it should deeply motivate all of us to be this type of woman. Yes, I have done posts about this topic before but it’s good to be reminded over and over again about the splendid truths that are in God’s Word.

“Let it not be with you a matter of external ornamentation—elaborate processes, and costly, but perishable, decorations—but let it be a matter of the heart, the character, the true self, manifesting itself in a constant tone of unassuming and imperturbable sweetness—an imperishable attraction.”

How do we work on our heart and our character? We must spend time at Jesus’ feet in His Word; for we are told that we are transformed by renewing our minds with truth. This is how it happens, women! It won’t happen if all you do is listen to other women speaking/teaching. It won’t happen by reading any and all marriage books you can get your hands on. It won’t happen by trying harder. You must be in God’s Word daily; for it is living and active and will transform you!

“Of a calm temper; a contented mind; a heart free from passion, pride, envy, and irritability; a soul not subject to the agitations and vexations of those who live for fashion, and who seek to be distinguished for external adorning…and, in order to this, he recommends them, instead of seeking external ornaments, to seek those of the mind and of the heart, as more agreeable to their husbands.”

Most of us like to dress fashionable and look pretty. This consumes a lot of women’s time, money, and energy, especially in our culture but it’s not what has true value. People see our outward appearance for a moment but it’s our inward beauty and joy that they remember. Choose to be joyful and thankful; for a cheerful heart is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22)!

You may just learn to enjoy life’s many blessings as this 92 year old women did by living these five principles:

1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less and enjoy every moment.

“The decoration of the body is not all, nor is it the principal thing which husband desires. He desires primarily in his wife the more permanent adorning which pertains to the heart.” Yes, men do like their wives to look pretty since they are visual. Eating healthy and exercising actually makes a woman more beautiful than the makeup, hairstyle, and clothes she wears, in my opinion. I’m not sure men notice clothing as much as women think they do. Work on becoming as healthy and as fit as you can be, put on a bit of makeup and make sure your hair looks good, but then make sure you are feeding your soul daily since a meek and quiet spirit is always more beautiful to men than anything we can do for our outward appearance which fades quickly.

“A wife, therefore, if she would permanently please her husband, should seek the adorning of the soul rather than the body; the ornament of the heart rather than gold and jewels. The one can never be a substitute for the other; and whatever outward decorations she may have, unless she have a gentleness of spirit, a calmness of temper, a benevolence and purity of soul, and a cultivation of mind that her husband can love, she cannot calculate on his permanent affection.”

Do you want your husband to have a strong attraction to you? It’s not going to come from your outward appearance since an ugly attitude makes the outward beauty unattractive quickly. We must train and discipline ourselves for the purposes of godliness and remind ourselves that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!

“Women who are more apt to be overmuch pleased with external dresses, and bodily ornaments, are exhorted rather to enrich and beautify their souls with Divine graces, than their bodies with gaudy clothes…by meekness may be meant gentleness, easiness and sweetness of spirit, in opposition to moroseness, frowardness, pride, passion, and by quietness, a peaceable, still, modest temper, in opposition to pragmaticalness, talkativeness, clamorousness.”

Gentleness. Easiness. Sweetness of spirit. What man wouldn’t want to live with a woman who had these beautiful qualities? All of our clothing, jewelry, perfume, shoes, purses, and everything else we decorate ourselves will one day burn but the impression we make on others , especially our husbands, will last forever!

“This grace of meekness, humility, and quietness, is a fruit of the Spirit, and so a part of the hidden woman, and is what is very ornamental to a believer; it is her clothing, her inward adorning, and what makes her lovely in the sight of God, and of her people.”

Let’s become hidden, godly women in our homes with our husbands. This is what the Lord has called us to do and this is what makes us lovely. Nothing this world has to offer makes us beautiful since beauty is only skin deep. True and lasting beauty comes from the spirit of a woman who loves the Lord and seeks to please Him in all that she does.

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4

God “Calls” Many Women to Work Outside the Home?

God “Calls” Many Women to Work Outside the Home?

There is an article written called Is it Better For Moms to Stay at Home? I enjoyed the article until the author wrote about it being good and fine for mothers to work outside of the home even though she chose to be home with her children because she felt guilty while she was working. She admitted that she was missing too much of their lives.

“And God calls many women to work outside the home — even those who have small children.” Oh, really??? God calls them to this? Where in the Word does she find this? Women don’t seem to understand that if they aren’t keepers at home they are blaspheming the Word of God (Titus 2:5). Yes, I realize this isn’t a popular thing to teach nowadays, but I don’t care about being popular. I care about teaching the truth of God’s Word and all of the children who aren’t being raised by their own mothers.

Lindsay Harold (a wise, young woman) responded: “We have adopted the idea of ‘calling’ as some inner feeling or impression God gives to individuals to show them what they should do with their lives. Christianity adopted that unBiblical idea many years ago. But if that’s how we’re supposed to find out what God wants us to do, then anyone can claim they were ‘called’ to do what they are doing, no matter how unBiblical it is. All they need is an inner feeling. If you start with that shaky foundation, then it’s no stretch to claim that some women are ‘called’ to leave their children and have a career.”

Many women today are “called” into the ministry to leave their homes, stand behind pulpits, and preach the Word of God with many men in attendance. Many women are “called” to divorce their husbands. Many women are “called” to do whatever they “feel” like doing as long as it makes them happy. NO! We are CALLED to obey the clear commands from God’s perfect and unchanging Word.

One woman named Vanessa commented on the post above with these words and I sadly believe that many women who call themselves “Christian” feel the same way: “Did God want me to be home? NO! My job is to help other mothers whose kids have behavior problems and/or were even trying to kill themselves.. that was much more important than watching blues clue, wiping drool, and making casseroles.

In fact, I loved going back to work; it was the balance I needed. And sitting back and watching the stay-at-home church moms with their kids.. did I want that life?? Noooo! not one bit. Their husbands seemed burdened financially at times, expected too much of their wives at home and with the kids since they weren’t working, their conversation seemed glued to all things child and domesticated, and their kids often were more ill-behaved.

And as I kept watching, I actually spent more one-to-one time each day with my kids when I did get home than they did in the whole day. My husband helped out more and my kids learned no meant no not because I said so.. but so did their other caretakers .. so they had more respect for me. And I also still felt I was helping kids in my community.. it was so worth it. I never and I repeat never regretted it.

And even though we had plenty of income for me to stay home I am pretty sure I would have lost my mind living in toddlerville day after day. And I also have more respect for men than to think they should be solely responsible for paying the bills. God gave me a brain and abilities just the same as him to earn an income. And men are more than capable of doing most all the childcare and household jobs too..and it is better shared.

Please stop trying to guilt trip women who work or presume they do so because they have to.. no most us of realize the toddler years are few and life goes on..and now they are grown and gone and me and the hubs are free to keep working and life is still going on. There is always the next stage of your kids’ lives to enjoy so quit telling yourselves you would miss something. And please stop thinking your service to God is only to be found in your home or as a mother.. little of that was true for the women who followed Christ in his day and it still isn’t… as you serve Christ make a difference in your world.. your kids will respect you and learn the most from that!!”

Did you notice she failed to use one Bible verse in her comments? Her and many others like her value their intelligence and “wisdom” above the Word which instructs younger women to be keepers at home. I receive comments similar to Vanessa’s frequently. Women are deceived just as Eve was deceived and they go their own way, not caring about pleasing or obeying the Lord at all.

Lindsay Harold added:

“The rationale for many women whenever anyone brings up staying home goes something like this:

1) I like my job and making an income and not being stuck with my kids all day doing boring stuff.

2) Staying home can’t be better than having a career because I don’t stay home and I think I’m a decent person.

3) Claiming a woman staying home is better than having a career means they’re saying I’m not a good person and not doing the best for my kids.

4) Cue being offended and getting defensive at this point. Notice that their rationale begins and ends with what sounds good to them and their own view of themselves. It doesn’t start with the scriptures.”

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
1 Timothy 2:3, 4

Treating Children as Idols

Treating Children as Idols

From an Anonymous comment on my Peaceful Parenting post

Sadly “peaceful parenting” is very quickly becoming the new norm for “good parenting”. Children are being treated as idols and parents are constantly yielding to every emotion and request like their child’s life depends on it. I am not judging these parents because they are genuinely trying to do the right thing. I know many peaceful/gentle/attachment parents and they are beautiful people who are just misguided and heavily influenced by the world.

It is becoming more dangerous and forceful as time goes by just like any other sin. We are now told that time out or removing privileges is disrespectful and border line child abuse. That children have “bodily autonomy” which means they can refuse to have their hair or teeth brushed. We should all unschool our children and let them explore and teach themselves whatever they have an interest in. If we teach or facilitate anything we are undermining them.

Children should not be prompted to say “please” or “thank you” because that is rude, they will say it if they want to and if you force them the words will hold no meaning. Bedtimes and enforcing naps is stripping children of their independence, we must let them choose when they want to rest so they learn to listen to their own bodies. Children must co-sleep for as long as they want (forever if they choose) and husbands can sleep in another room if they have a problem with it.

All of these examples are things I have actually witnessed in real life or have seen in various blogs and Facebook posts.

I honestly feel like this new trend is another tactic of the enemy to destroy marriage. What man can feel happy and fulfilled after years of being cast the leftover energy and attention his wife has to offer after a busy day of worshiping her children and letting them run the household.

I have two boys who I love with all my heart but they absolutely do not run this house. If they need a hair cut, they get one even if they don’t like it because it’s boring. If it is bedtime, they go to bed even if they would rather stay up with my husband and me.

Lori speaking here: Parents, raise your children in “the nurture and the admonition of the Lord.”  Nurture means to educate, to bring or train up. Teach and train them the ways of godliness. When you are raising your children you must always be training and guiding them to do what is right and hate that which is evil. It’s your job to teach them the Word and the ways of the Lord. Teach them to love the Lord’s ways and hate the world’s ways by telling them about the goodness and greatness of the Lord. One way to do this is to live a life of cheerfulness and joy; for the joy of the Lord is your strength. Sing songs and make melody in your heart to Him. Let your children see the joy of the Lord in YOU!

Then we are taught to raise them in the admonition of the Lord. Admonition means to give a reproof; counseling against a fault; instruction in duties; caution; direction. This means they must be disciplined to learn what “no” means from an early age and learn to obey you. This is the most important thing to teach a young child. It will make raising them so much easier. Let them know the horrible consequences of sin and that they will reap what we sow. You can use many stories in the Old Testament to show them the pain of sin. Pain is a great teacher. A couple of good, hard swats on the behind are a great teacher against disobedience. The pain of the swat must hurt more than the pleasure of the sinful behavior.

The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Proverbs 29:15

Learning to Discipline Yourself

Learning to Discipline Yourself

Sermon given by John MacArthur

One is to begin with small things…to begin with small things. Learn to discipline yourself in the little things of life because it is the little things of life that make for the big successes. You must begin with the small things. Every little issue of life has to carry weight and importance, not because, listen carefully to this, not because in itself it’s important, but your integrity, your credibility, your word is important even in little things. And learning to train yourself in those little things is absolutely essential.

Another principle, and I’m not elucidating these but just kind of suggesting them as food for thought, another one is clean your environment. What do I mean by that? Get rid of all that stuff, clean your desk, your room, your house, your garage, there’s a thought. Just become discontent with a mess in general. Get yourself to the place where orderliness matters. Some people need a lot of help in this area. But learn how to get rid of the excess, learn how to trim down, learn how to keep your environment clean and clear so that you can function without a myriad of distractions and so that you’ve made decisions and selections about what matters, what doesn’t, what’s important, what isn’t.

Make a schedule, that’s a third one. I’m not necessarily suggesting that you have a daytimer book and you write down every breath you’re going to take through the day, or that you put up some big calendar in your house. But I am saying make a schedule and learn to conform to it, whether it’s an absolute hard and fast schedule which appeals to the engineer type sort of accountant type folks, or whether it’s a little more fluid, but nonetheless you can anticipate things and you can establish time frames in which they need to be done and learn to train yourself to keep that schedule.

Another principle of developing self-discipline is to wean yourself off of being entertained so that entertainment becomes for you really something that’s arbitrary…you can take it or leave it. Get yourself to the place where you if you have excess time do things that are productive rather than sit and be entertained. Entertainment, makes a very, very small contribution to your well being and to your success. Wean yourself off of being entertained. Another alternative, how about this, read or take a walk with somebody, or have a conversation, or plant flowers or something.

Another principle that I learned long ago and is very important to me is to be on time…be on time. That means you can order your little universe so you can get where you need to get when you’re supposed to be there, clothed and in your right mind. Learn to be on time. Even in small things, even in insignificant things because it says an awful lot about how your life is ordered and how you’ve preplanned all the stops between here and where you need to be at that moment. It’s very important, and it says volumes to the people are supposed to meet you there about how important it is for you to be with them.

Keep your word, that’s another one, even in the littlest things…keep your word. If you say you’re going to do it, do it and do it when you’re going to do it and do it the way you said you’d do it because your word is so important. Don’t make promises you don’t keep. Make commitments and see them through. That calls for discipline. That calls for discipline before you make the commitment because you have to look and evaluate the time, your talent and the capability that you have circumstantially to pull it off. Once you’ve made your commitment, keep your word in the littlest thing. It might be the smallest thing, learn to keep your word and you’ll begin to keep your word in big things.

Another thing that has really helped me through the years is to do the hardest task first. Always do the hardest task first. Whatever is most difficult, that’s what you want to begin with. And save the very easiest thing for last. Most people work on the reverse. And when they run out of time, and they’ve run out of energy, then they have an excuse not to do what they should have done first because it was most difficult and probably most important.

Another principle of self-discipline is to finish what you start…finish what you start. Some people’s lives are just a long litany of unfinished stuff. If you start it, finish it. That is a tremendously important principle of self-discipline, finish what you start.

Here’s another one. Practice self-denial…practice self-denial just for the sake of self-denial. Just say no so you can say to yourself, “Self, you can say no when you want to.” I mean, it might be something you would like to do, might be something that’s fine to do, just say no so you can remind yourself you’re still in charge and you’re not completely at the whim of your impulse. I’ve suggested even that next time you have the opportunity to eat a triple decker, super-big banana split, topped with chocolate and all of that, you might just say no, just so you can say to your stomach, “See, I’m still in charge.” It’s good to practice self-denial.

And then another thing that I think is really good for self-discipline is to volunteer, is to just volunteer for tasks. That means you’ve got to leave a little space in your life, you’ve got to have your life ordered well enough to say, “Hey, I’d like to try that, I’d like to step into that, I want to help over there.” And to subject yourself to something that really isn’t a part of your own agenda, but it’s necessary and it calls for some order in your life.

But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
1 Corinthians 9:27

Men and Women are Not Interchangeable Beings

Men and Women are Not Interchangeable Beings

There is no way to know if Suzanne Venker is a believer or not but she understands the importance of God’s ordained roles for men and women. She watched her mother tear her home down with her own hands and didn’t want to do the same when she married. Through trial and error, she has found that God’s ways work by far the best no matter how hard many try to get rid of them and say they don’t work.

Suzanne has a manifesto on her page and I particularly love two of them: “3. I believe a woman’s attitude toward men and marriage is the single greatest predictor of whether or not she’ll be happy in life. 4. I believe we are a replaceable at work, but we are irreplaceable at home.” Amen to both of them!

Have you noticed how angry so many women are today towards men and God’s perfect design for marriage, especially feminists? (Just mention the word submission and their anger comes to a boiling point quickly!) We can never be happy while we are angry. Angry and happy are polar opposites. When we are angry with our husbands, we can’t be happy. Anger usually turns to bitterness which makes us even more unhappy and affects everyone around us. A foolish woman who tears her home down is an angry, bitter woman. Let this not be said about us!

You are NOT replaceable at home. No one can take the place of a wife and mother at home. You are the one who builds it up or tears it down. A home without a mother in it is a lonely, cold home. A godly, cheerful mother makes a home warm and comfortable. It makes it a good home for her family. Don’t ever believe the lie that your children will be happy if you are not home full time. Your presence in your home causes your children to be secure and confident.

An egalitarian marriage is a myth. There can never be two leaders in any institution, not even marriage. As Suzanne stated in a recent article Is Equality Ruining Your Marriage?

“Men and women are not interchangeable beings, pure and simple. They may both be capable of being breadwinners and full-time parents, but that doesn’t mean they want to perform these tasks with equal fervor. Typically speaking, a man’s identity is inextricably linked to his paycheck. A woman’s is linked to her children. That this does not hold true for every woman and every man doesn’t change the fact that what drives most women is different from what drives most men.

Giving birth is a woman’s unparalleled accomplishment—her first instinct is to provide for that child physically and emotionally. A man’s first instinct is to protect and to provide for that child. That’s his unparalleled accomplishment.

It’s time to stop pretending the culture is to blame for why ‘equal marriages’ backfire. (I use the term ‘equal marriages’ reluctantly, since an equal marriage has nothing to do with who performs which tasks inside and outside the home.) Human nature doesn’t change just because society does. Just as women are emotionally invested in the home in a unique and primal way, men have a visceral need to provide and protect. That’s how most men and women gain their sense of self-worth.”

God’s ways are perfect for you, women! Instead of fighting them, embrace them and love the role the Lord has created for you!

And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female.
Matthew 19:4

Her Candle Goes Not Out By Night – Proverbs 31:18

Her Candle Goes Not Out By Night – Proverbs 31:18

She perceives that her merchandise is good: her candle goes not out by night.
Proverbs 31:18

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good,…. That it turns to good account; that her trading to heaven is of great advantage; that she grows rich hereby; that her merchandise with Wisdom, or Christ, is better than the merchandise of silver, and the gain thereby than fine gold; and though her voyages are attended with trouble and danger, yet are profitable, and therefore she is not discouraged, but determined to pursue them; she is like the merchant man, seeking goodly pearls, who finds a pearl of great price, worth all his trouble” (Gill’s Commentary).

We are called to examine ourselves to make sure that we are in the faith. We are also called to walk circumspectly which means cautiously, vigilant, and with watchfulness. Are we using our time wisely or are we wasting the precious life that we have on this earth? Are we doing what the Lord has called us to do or are we seekers of pleasure instead? Are we training our children to love the ways of the Lord and hate the ways of the world? Life is short, women. Walk wisely with your time.

…her candle goeth not out by night; her lamp of profession, which is always kept burning, or the glorious light of the Gospel, which always continues in the darkest times the church ever has been in; or her spiritual prosperity, which, though it may be damped, will never be extinct; when the candle of the wicked is often put out, Job 21:17; It may denote her diligence in working; who, as she rises early in the morning, Proverbs 31:15, so sits up late at night, and is never weary of well doing, night and day” (Gill’s Exposition).

We have a hope and a future. Our hope and trust is in the living God and this is why we can continue on during the hardest of times, when there are fears without, and life seems tenuous. God is still on His throne. He’s in control, and you are His child. We are called to be salt and light and how can we be salt and light if we are quaking with fear? We must be strong in the Lord, do what He’s called us to do, and let others know of the hope we have in Christ.

She perceiveth that her merchandise is good; Her prudence and economy leave her a large surplus profit, which she contemplates with satisfaction. There is no suspicion of arrogance or conceit, The pleasure that is derived from duty done and successfully conducted business is legitimate and healthy, a providential reward of good works. This comfort and success spur her on to further and more continued exertion. Her candle (lamp) goeth not out by night. She is not idle even when night falls, and outdoor occupations are cut short; she finds work for the hours of darkness, such as is mentioned in the next verse” (Pulpit Commentary).

Throughout this study, many of you will look at this imaginary woman and decide that it’s impossible to be like her but it’s not. God wouldn’t have written it in His Word to tease and mock us but to encourage us to become like her; for her price is above rubies and she is rare but Christ Himself lives inside of us working out His good pleasure. All He wants is for us to take the first steps and His power will swoop in from on high and help to accomplish what we set out to do, whether that is being a help meet to our husband, a mother to our children, or a homemaker in our home. No, a mother’s work is never done, but God’s strength in us never wavers. He will be there in your fatigue, tiredness, and hopelessness to encourage and lift you up as you cast all of your burdens upon Him.

“Some take the lamp here in an allegorical sense, as signifying life, happiness, and prosperity; others, as denoting a bright example of diligence and piety. But the simple meaning seems to be the one intended” (Pulpit Commentary).

Diligence means the “constant effort to accomplish what is undertaken and exertion of body or mind without unnecessary delay or sloth.” Piety means “the reverence of the Supreme Being and love of his character and the exercise of these affections in obedience to his will and devotion to his service.” You know what the Lord has called you to do, women. It’s very clear in His Word so get to work and do what you know you’re supposed to do in obedience to the Lord and in the power of His strength.

Beware of the Strange Woman

Beware of the Strange Woman

To deliver thee from the strange woman, even from the stranger which flatters with her words; which forsakes the guide of her youth, and forgets the covenant of her God (Proverbs 2:16, 17)

There are many strange women who are forsaking and divorcing their husbands today and forgetting the covenant they made with their husbands. Many more women are divorcing their husbands than husbands divorcing their wives and the reasons are all too common: “I am not happy” or “We were incompatible” or “He drank too much” or “He watched porn” or any number of reasons but not one of them is a biblical reason to divorce.

Which forsaketh the guide of her youth,…. Not God, the God of her life, and who had provided for her from her youth up; nor her parent that had taken care of her in her infancy, and had been the guardian of her virgin state; but her husband, to whom she was married in her youth, and to whom she gave up herself to be guided and directed, ruled and governed, by: and as it is an aggravation of evil in a man to deal treacherously against the wife of his youth, and the wife of his covenant; so it is in a woman to forsake ‘the friend’ or ‘companion of her youth,’ as the phrase may be rendered; who loved her and espoused her in his youthful age, and with whom he had lived long in love and friendship, and in great happiness, but now forsakes him; her affections being alienated from him, leaves his company and bed, and associates with others” (Gill’s Exposition).

God said in His Word that what He joins together, let NO man tear asunder, yet too many women have no qualms tearing apart their marriages and leaving their husbands, then going after another man to marry, thus committing adultery with him. Women, this is serious business in the eyes of the Lord. He created marriage to be an example of Christ and the Church. As the Church must never forsake Christ, so wives must not forsake their husbands.

Don’t allow anything into your thought life or actions that will cause a schism between you and your husband. Watch for those little foxes that spoil the vine, such as a disrespectful attitude towards him, critical and negative thoughts about him, questioning and even rebelling against his decisions, or undermining his authority in the home by usurping it and doing things your way.

I seriously doubt many wives have given themselves up to be “ruled and governed” (as Gill’s Exposition stated in the comments above) by their husbands even though this is what the Lord calls them to do. God has ordained wives to be their husband’s help meet and not vice versa. Our main ministry in life is to our husbands to make their lives as good as we can and help their lives to be easier. Our husbands are the decision makers and we are called to obey and support these decisions joyfully and willingly, just as we do the Lord’s decisions and commands to us.

We also need to protect our marriage by dressing modestly in the company of other men. We must be careful to not flirt with other men in any way but only give ourselves to our husbands since they are the husbands of our youth. We must never allow “strange woman” be used to describe us. We don’t lust after other men, nor do we spend any time being entertained by them in our thought life but we take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Any man who attempts to flirt with us in any way, we flee; for we refuse to break the covenant of our youth.

“And forgetteth the covenant of her God: not the covenant made with Noah, in which adultery, as well as other things, were forbidden; nor the law of Moses, or covenant at Sinai, in which it was condemned; but the marriage covenant, which she entered into with her husband when espoused to him, and when they mutually obliged themselves to be faithful to one another: and this is called ‘the covenant of God’; not only because God is the author and institutor of marriage, and has directed and enjoined persons to enter into such a contract with one another; but because he is present at it, and is a witness of such an engagement, mid is appealed unto in it; which, as it adds to the solemnity of it, makes the violation of it the more criminal.” (Gill’s Exposition of the Bible)

God created marriage between a man and a wife until death do they part. It’s a commitment we entered with our husband and the Lord on the day we married each other. We love our husbands and what is love? God has clearly spelled it out to us in 1 Corinthians 13:

Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it (it pays no attention to a suffered wrong). It does not rejoice in injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything (without weakening). Love never fails (never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end).” (Amplified Version)

This is a good passage to memorize since love has NOTHING to do with our feelings and emotions. Not one woman who lives out this definition of love would ever divorce her husband or go after another man and be called a ‘strange woman.’ She would be kind, forgiving, loving, cheerful, and her hope would be in the Lord, not in how perfect her husband was supposed to be.

If her husband had been lured away by a strange woman, she would put on the full armor of the Lord and fight for her husband’s eternal soul by obeying 1 Peter 3:1-6. She would understand that his eternity is more important that her earthly happiness and determine to not be a covenant breaker. Yes, she would let him go if he wants to go, as the Word commands that she does, but she would pray and ask the Lord to restore their marriage and then go about winning him back without a word by learning to have a meek and quiet spirit which is beautiful in God’s sight.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
Proverbs 31:10