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Month: December 2017

Finding a Way to Come Home Full Time

Finding a Way to Come Home Full Time

Written by Genevieve Greenwood

It’s funny how life works out sometimes.

I had been in the work force since I was about 12. My first job was babysitting my little cousin full time. Later, fast food then management, then call centers and eventually banking. I had a decent job dealing with credit card identity and transactional fraud.

My oldest child has autism, Tourette syndrome, and a host of other medical issues. I’ve always dealt with his medical needs personally, and it did make me a far less reliable worker. I had taken on this role of his primary medical advocate because it felt natural and because my husband’s more lucrative career was far less flexible.

After my second child, I went back to work when she was just seven months old. Honestly, before going in for my first shift back, I thought I would do fine! My own feelings of anxiety and missing my baby girl who was still nursing caught me completely by surprise. I felt a sadness, almost grief, from being forced away from my baby girl so soon, beyond what I can describe. It lasted a moment, during which I couldn’t breathe but perceived necessity pushed me forward so I trudged on.

Eventually, caring for a special needs child, a young baby, being away from the children, and postpartum depression took a huge toll on me. I suffered burn out and had to leave my job. I firmly believe the separation from my young baby was the trigger of my postpartum depression.

At first, my husband and I both fought the idea of me staying home. I worked all weekend at a corner store up the street. I had a cleaning gig. I took in extra children. I groomed dogs with my amazing mother in law. I did all kinds of things to bring in money at the detriment of my home, my children, and my relationship with the most amazing man I’ve ever met.

But especially when my son started going to public school (both children are home schooled now), we started really understanding that we needed a parent at home full time. Our son was very often sick and couldn’t go to school. He always had (and still has) numerous appointments with doctors, and has a lot of “bad days”. Some days, his emotional state made it too difficult for him to leave home. I had to be there for him.

For what it’s worth, I don’t think I started to really recover from my burnout until I came back home to my little girl and my little man. Even though I’d been seeing a doctor and getting treatment for my illness for months prior, it’s only when I’m home and being their mother FULLY that I had those healing moments. I’m not good at reading all the messages God sends me, but I think this is where He wants me to be.

But what about money?

We had gone from “this is impossible” to “now we have to do it.”

We had already declared bankruptcy. We weren’t making it from month to month. How can we possibly make this work?

First thing about that: We don’t have it all figured out. We have it way more figured out than we used to, though! And I want to help other families who think they just can’t afford to live on a single income. And I really want to share the lessons God has been teaching me through this process.

1- Organize your life. Do your wife job, let him do his husband job, and never the two shall meet. Being organized in your roles will help you both immensely feel respectively less burdened. Once you both know exactly what you have to do, then nothing gets forgotten or neglected. A husband feels better about coming home when he knows he won’t be ambushed at the door with a list of chores. A wife will feel better about doing her chores if she knows she doesn’t have to work 10 hours the next day. Each of you should have ONE JOB. There should be a wife/homemaker and a husband/provider. If you both have too many jobs, you’ll get overwhelmed all over again.

2- Simplify. Take the kids to the park: it’s free! Play in the yard. Take on projects to make your house a home. The more stuff you have, the more stuff you have to clean. Get rid of the excess and only bring into your home the things you truly need. Find joy in living a simple life and having a simple routine. Children thrive on routine, too. I really believe it helps them develop their sense of family stability. Kids don’t need stuff; they need your time.

3- Make and eat your own food. So many women I know, even housewives, say they have no time to cook. I firmly believe this happens from lack of cooking practice, and having typical things baked or cooked for the family on a regular basis. I can prep cinnamon rolls in less then 10 minutes (30 minutes cook time). I can prep bread for rising in about five minutes. Throwing meat, veggies and potatoes in a pot takes no time and often it’s really good if you cook it all at once! I’m terrible at meal planning (I know, I’m working on it), but it helps a lot with finances if you only buy what you’ll need for the week. And honestly, watching my daughter so excited to watch me make what we need is a reward all on its own.

4- There are usually places where every family hemorrhages money. We tweaked our Internet/Cable bill (Netflix is cheaper, if you like that sort of thing). We’re careful with the heat and lights. Aside from my “just mommy” outings, I make my coffee at home. Look over your bank statement and chances are there’s something.

5- This one is super important: FOCUS ON HIS CAREER. This is a recent lesson for me. My husband had been without work for a while, since his last contract ended. But with me not being out there playing Mrs Provider all the time, I was able to make it easier for him to look for better jobs. I was able to make our home a place where he was able to tend to applications and leaving for interviews. I made sure he had interview-clothes ready at a moment’s notice. There is a lot that us wives can do to support our husbands in being better able to provide for our family.

I’m the farthest thing from a perfect wife. And I have to repent often for mistakes I make. but I think God has been teaching me through this. Unlike back when I was working outside the home, I feel like I’m actually moving forward spiritually in my role as a wife and mother. I’m actually learning and making progress. I’ve been able to correct some profound character flaws in my parenting and my submission to my husband’s direction, even if I have a long way to go.

God put me on this path, even when I stubbornly fought it. I think when we accept God’s direction and go the way He wants us to, we start to grow.

In Christ,

Genevieve

Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.
Ephesians 3:20, 21

Working Hard in My Kitchen

Working Hard in My Kitchen

As keepers at home, one of our main ministries to our family and others is learning to cook. During the 60s and the feminist movement when women left their homes to go out and pursue careers, fast food restaurants and packaged foods became popular; anything to make the working mothers’ lives easier. Now, we have several generations of women who don’t cook at all or don’t like to cook and our nation’s health is suffering as a result. It’s important to learn to enjoy working hard in your kitchen!

My sister didn’t like to cook at all when she was raising her children but she did it a bit to keep her family fed but it certainly wasn’t something she enjoyed. Then she got malignant melanoma and radically changed her diet. Now, she loves cooking nourishing food in her kitchen and we all love eating at her house. It was all simply a change of attitude, she told me. She puts on praise music and prays over the people she is preparing food for since she has learned to love it. (She made the most wonderful Thanksgiving dinner!) She has this hanging on her oven:

This Christmas our entire family will be together, Lord willing, so I’m getting ready for their arrival. I will be making my Organic Einkorn Bread every day this week to store up for them. My son-in-law, who can’t have gluten, LOVES it so I want to make sure that I have plenty for him. (It really is easy to make, women. It looks complicated but once you start going, it doesn’t take much time at all and it’s so much healthier than anything  you can get in the store.) It is a labor of love but I love making healthy and great tasting food for my family.

For breakfast, I have my homemade kefir that is so easy to make and full of healthy probiotics, calcium, and protein. In fact, Dr. Marshall, who I listened for years, and Dr. Axe believe it is one of the most probiotic-rich foods on the planet! I much prefer making it than buying it since the homemade stuff is much less expensive and so rich and creamy like yogurt. I add a bit of stevia and frozen or fresh berries with it. On other mornings, I will have some of my Einkorn bread slathered with raw, grass-fed butter, topped with pastured eggs. I love my breakfasts!

About every four days or so, I make a large salad that we eat every night. On top of it, we put roasted chicken, avocado, a tablespoon of fermented vegetables (great for gut health which is imperative for good health), steamed beets (great for your blood), and anything else we feel like putting on it, then top it off with my homemade salad dressing that is loaded with healthy fats. I know that I have felt a lot better since I’ve added a lot of healthy fats and proteins to my diet. My sister taught me a delicious way to eat sardines since they are one of the healthiest fish you can eat and are the highest source of omega-3 fatty acids on the planet!

For dinner, I have a large mug full of my soup made with chicken broth and lots of vegetables. (I cooked a lot hardier meals for my children when they lived with us. Both of us like to eat lightly for dinner since our children have all married and have their own families.)

My very favorite dessert in the entire world is my healthy chocolate that is made with coconut oil, walnuts, and raw cacao so it actually builds up our body instead of tear it down. I like it best with raw, organic honey. I have a piece almost every single day and enjoy every single bite.

I also research and learn ways to keep my family healthy without drugs. I believe building up the immune system and using natural means of healing gives better results without the side effects of drugs. Our bodies were created to be able to fight most illnesses if nourished on good food. I make elderberry syrup for colds and flu and so far, it’s worked amazing. I also have other things I use in my arsenal to fight colds, flu, and all types of infections.

Teach your daughters to help you in the kitchen. From a young age, teach them to clean off their plate and put it in the dishwasher. As they grow older, you can have them right by your side helping you cook and clean your kitchen. Their future husband and children will appreciate the time and effort that you put into them teaching them to enjoy working hard in their kitchen.

Yesterday, I made a big salad and salad dressing, roasted a chicken and made chicken broth, made the sardine salad, and two loaves of bread. Yes, I worked hard in my kitchen and I didn’t mind one bit!

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men; Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.
Colossians 3:23, 24

***The picture is our newly redone kitchen. We never thought we would want white cabinets until we found out how much they cost to replace. No, thank you! Now, we both love white cabinets. It’s the first time in my life that I’ve had a back splash (and it’s made of stone) and I love it! I also love having granite counter tops. Man can’t beat what God creates, that’s for sure. They are so easy to clean and care for.  We will gradually replace our appliances with new ones when our old ones are no longer fixable. I haven’t heard many people like stainless steel appliances so the verdict is out on this one. (My sisters don’t like theirs at all!) We put the wood floors in when we bought the house almost 20 years ago and they still look great. Wood flooring is definitely my favorite! (Yes, God made wood, too. 🙂 )

Women Today Gad About

Women Today Gad About

Do you enjoy being home full time? Some young women get bored being home all day so they find part-time jobs or other ways to fill their days away from home. With all of our modern conveniences, it’s easy to have the time to leave the home and find entertainment elsewhere. Women would rather go out shopping, go to Bible studies, play dates, eating out, and anything but look well to the ways of their household by being keepers at home.

Gill’s Exposition has this to say about the term keepers at home:

Keepers at home: minding their own family affairs, not gadding abroad (beyond or out of the walls of a house); and inspecting into, and busying themselves about other people’s matters. This is said in opposition to what women are prone unto. It is reckoned among the properties of women, by the Jews, that they are ‘gadders abroad’: they have some rules about women’s keeping at home; they say, ‘a woman may go to her father’s house to visit him, and to the house of mourning, and to the house of feasting, to return a kindness to her friends, or to her near relations–but it is a reproach to a woman to go out daily; now she is without, now she is in the streets; and a husband ought to restrain his wife from it, and not suffer her to go abroad but about once a month, or twice a month, upon necessity; for there is nothing more beautiful for a woman, than to abide in the corner of her house; for so it is written (Psalm 45:13) ‘the king’s daughter is all glorious within’.”

Gad means “go about from one place to another, in the pursuit of pleasure or entertainment.” We are told in the Word that in the last days, many will be “lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God” (2 Timothy 3:4). I don’t think this is anything new to our day and age or why would God have the Apostle Paul command women to be keepers at home back then? It’s difficult to look well to the ways of our household if we are away from it frequently. Unfortunately, it’s hard to find women at home these days, even Christian women. Many homes sit empty all day long.

Nancy Wolgemuth in her book Adorned wrote: “Today it’s common for homes to be little more than physical structures where people park their bodies at night, take their showers in the morning, and then disperse in a hundred different directions as they start their day. The clock ticks on the mantelpiece, the thermostat cycles off and on to regulate the temperature, the microwave dings as residents run in to grab a snack and then run out again, but there’s little shared life.”

Homes are to be a place where families live. Mothers are keepers at home. Children are being raised by their own mothers in their homes. Fathers work hard to pay for their homes and provide for their families. They want to come home to peaceful and orderly homes after a hard day at work. This is how homes are supposed to function but too many women prefer to “gad about.” Many women don’t like being “stuck” at home all day.

If you find that you can relate to being bored staying at home, find productive things to do around your home and with your children. Develop a new talent that is useful in your homemaking or life. Learn to garden, can your food, learn about natural healing, create a budget and stick to it, clean more efficiently, declutter, cook new meals, read a book, write, study the Word, memorize scripture, sing new songs, knit, crochet, sew, quilt, paint, frame your windows, paint your walls, teach your children all of these things, practice hospitality and have people over for meals, exercise, and on and on the list goes.

There are many things to keep us occupied in our home. We don’t need to be always looking to be entertained. We aren’t supposed to live lives of entertainment nor be seekers of pleasure, but called to be productive (work hard) and a blessing to others, especially bringing glory to God. Being at home is your God-ordained ministry!

Many women also “gad about” by having jobs where they leave their homes every day for hours. They don’t have the time to look well to the ways of their households. Few women are superwomen and can accomplish everything. Something has to go and it is usually their marriage that suffers the most. The children suffer, too, and need their mothers in the home, making it a safe haven for them.

And this they say is what is meant by the woman’s being an helpmeet for man, that while he is abroad about his business, she is , ‘sitting at home‘, and keeping his house; and this they observe is the glory and honour of the woman. The passage in Isaiah 44:13 concerning an image being made ‘after the figure of a man, according to the beauty of a man, that it may remain in the house’ is by the Targum thus paraphrased: ‘according to the likeness of a man, according to the praise of a woman, to abide in the house.” Upon which Kimchi, has this note. ‘it is the glory of a woman to continue at home, and not go abroad.'” 

Few men today seem to understand the value of having a wife who works hard at home instead of in the marketplace. It makes their lives much easier if they have a wife who looks well to the ways of their household. When a child is sick, they don’t have to worry about them because they know their wives will care for their sick children. Dinner will be ready when they come home. The housework will be done so they don’t have to do it. They can relax and enjoy their family when they come home if they have a faithful, hard-working wife at home.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, the Word tells us. Men need a help meet and if you are married, you were created to fill that need for him. Make his life as easy as possible by staying home and looking well to the ways of your household. Learn to be content and work hard there; for this pleases the Lord and your husband!

And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not. I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:13, 14

Marching for Social Justice Isn’t What God Asks of Us

Marching for Social Justice Isn’t What God Asks of Us

There’s going to be a Women’s March in Los Angeles in January so I looked it up to see what they are marching for. Here is what it stated: “At Women’s March LA Foundation, we recognize that there is no true peace, freedom, or inclusion without equity for all. Our event on January 20th will feature music, art, community booths, and speakers in a shared voice of resistance with advocacy aligned with the national Women’s March Unity Principles: ending violence, protection of reproductive rights, LGBTQIA rights, workers’ rights, civil rights, disability rights, immigrant rights, Indigenous people’s rights and environmental justice.”

I guess these women never had a dad like Ken who gave them a long lecture on life NOT being fair when they were young so we never heard our children say, “That isn’t fair!” They grew up knowing that life wasn’t fair but they know God is a just God and will have the final say.

This is what Voddie Baucham wrote about social justice: “If the social justice movement went by its actual name, young Christians would not have been lured into it. Because the social justice movement is actually Cultural Marxism. There’s no such thing as ‘social justice,’ people. In fact, in the Bible, justice never has an adjective. There’s justice and there’s injustice, but there’s not different kinds of justice.”

As godly women, we aren’t called to march for our rights or for social justice since it’s a made up word by those who hate God. God never told us to go out and change culture. He told us to go out and share the Good News and speak the truth in love while individually helping those in need. People need Jesus. They don’t need more “rights.” They need the hope only Christ provides.

Most feminists are never satisfied and will never be happy. They continue to expect more instead of being thankful for what they have. Remember, being unthankful is one of the first steps towards being turned over to a reprobate mind according to Romans 1. These women marching falsely believe that there is “no true peace, freedom, or inclusion without equity for all.” No, there is no true peace, freedom, or inclusion without equity for all without Jesus Christ. They are marching for the wrong thing.

As women, He calls us to have the opposite of marching for what we want; He has called us to have meek and quiet spirits and to quietly work hard with our hands at home as keepers at home. “And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you” (1 Thessalonians 4:11). Did you notice that we must study to be quiet? It doesn’t come naturally. We are to do our own business at home and not involve ourselves with other’s business. This is the life the Lord has ordained for us, women, and it is good. This brings Him glory!

I love how often in God’s Word that He instructs us about being quiet. “In quietness and in confidence shall be your strength” (Isaiah 30:15) not in fighting for what we want. “Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee” (Isaiah 26:3). These women who march will find no peace even if they get the rights they are marching for. Perfect peace only comes from the Lord and keeping our minds stayed upon Him.

“And the work of righteousness shall be peace, and the effect of righteousness quietness…And my people shall dwell in a peaceable habitation and in sure dwellings and in quiet resting places” (Isaiah 32:17, 18). Expectations, wants, and rights don’t accomplish what is best. Peace and quietness is what is best and it only comes from being clothed in Christ’s righteousness and doing what He has called us to do. Godliness with contentment is great gain. These women marchers are not content and never will be because they are trying to find satisfaction and “fairness” on this earth. It won’t happen. It’s only found in Christ. “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Genesis 18:25)

Being on our knees and praying to the King of Kings while being salt and light in a dark culture will accomplish much more than any march because eternity is what matters. This life is a blip on the whole of eternity so let’s be women who use our time wisely and obey what the Lord has called us to do.

That we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and honesty.
1 Timothy 2:2

A Woman Who Fears the Lord Shall Be Praised

A Woman Who Fears the Lord Shall Be Praised

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised.
Proverbs 31:30

Outward graces do not last; praise that will be real and enduring is for those only who fear the Lord, and, out of regard for Him, perform the duties of life as the “virtuous woman” here described. (Ellicott’s Commentary)

Our looks fade. This is a fact of life for everyone. When we’re young, we can’t imagine this happening but then slowly we see one gray hair and then another. Then some wrinkles begin to appear and we see that we are indeed aging. Looks only go so far. They don’t make us happier, wiser, or more godly. They are literally only skin deep and have nothing whatsoever to do with having a meaningful life.

Making wise choices is what matters. Do we live for ourselves or do we live for the Lord and what He has asked us to do? Do we make our looks an idol in our lives (because if we do, we will be devastated when we find that first gray hair) or do we make the Lord our God and know that His plan for our lives is perfect?

 A well favoured look, a graceful countenance, symmetry and proportion of parts, natural or artificial beauty, are vain and deceitful; oftentimes under them lies an ill natured, deformed, and depraved mind; nor is the pleasure and satisfaction enjoyed as is promised along with these; and particularly how do they fade (e) and consume away by a fit of illness, and through old age, and at last by death?

There are many beautiful women today. We see them on TV and advertisements all over the place. They show off their bodies and try to entice men but what happens to them as they lose their beauty? They have built their lives and security on their looks which fades over time and then what do they have? Have they built up their marriages and families and their relationship with Christ – the things that last or have they built their lives upon sand?

…but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Gill’s Exposition)

This is what it all comes down to, women. We are called to fear the Lord. This means that we live for only His approval. We do what He has commanded for us to do since we owe Him our lives. Our homes are built upon His Word. We train our children in His ways. We rejoice in Him always! Yes, we fail but we dust ourselves off and get right back up again and “do the next thing” as Elisabeth Elliot said. We never give up because we know that Christ works mightily within us.

It is the fear of the Lord that makes us beautiful on the inside and adorning ourselves with a meek and quiet spirit while living in submission to our husbands. The fear of the Lord urges us to grow in wisdom since we must be able to navigate clearly in this evil generation that tells us that what is right is wrong and what is wrong is right. The only way to grow in wisdom is to be in His Word and learn from the One where all wisdom comes from.

The days that we live in are very unstable but the Lord is not; for He is the same yesterday, today, and always. Measure everything you hear and read with His Word. He is our stability and knowing Him and living for Him is all that matters in the end.

And wisdom and knowledge shall be the stability of thy times, and strength of salvation: the fear of the Lord is his treasure.
Isaiah 33:6

***Picture By Daniel Gerhartz

My Sister’s Home Almost Burned Down

My Sister’s Home Almost Burned Down

Almost every Saturday, Ken and I walk along the beach and then have breakfast at a place near the water. My parents meet us most of the time. Yesterday, my mom wasn’t feeling up to it but my dad said he’d meet us there. When we were on the way to the beach, my dad called and told me he wasn’t going to make it. He said he was going over to my sister’s house because it was on fire! Ken and I immediately drove over there to see make sure everyone was okay.

It happened to be during the Santa Ana windy time here in Southern California where humidity is about 7% and we haven’t had rain for many months. There have been a lot of fires down here the past week as most of you know. When we drove up her street, there were probably fifteen fire trucks for one house on fire! The reason was because of the weather conditions and their home backed up to a canyon with very dry brush.

The fireplace is what started the fire and burned down some of her home. Thankfully, it wasn’t during the night since no smoke detectors went off. The damage is pretty extensive as you can see from this picture.

Why am I telling you this? Well, this post was going around Facebook. This is how many people actually believe today. If you aren’t happy in a marriage and it’s a difficult marriage, get out.

My sister’s home isn’t a tragedy. She is still married for 30 years to the husband of her youth. She has one happily married daughter who is pregnant with her second baby and two other amazing sons. She loves Jesus deeply. All of these are her treasures. She is rich in what counts and her house will be fixed over time. Yes, they may have to live with someone else for a time and rent the home across the street while her home is rebuilt but it’s all fixable. The first thing she said to me when I saw her yesterday; “It’s all just stuff.” My sisters and I have always held fairly loosely to the stuff of this world.

Divorce is a tragedy. It tears apart one flesh and isn’t fixable (unless there is repentance and restoration of the marriage before either have remarried). This is why God hates divorce and to say it’s not a tragedy is a lie from the pit of hell because Satan loves divorce and the destruction it causes. Children are scarred for life.

My mom, sisters, and all of our husbands were there yesterday and had a good time together. My sister was even able to laugh in spite of the circumstances. Whenever we all get together, there is always a lot of laughter and joy. All of our children are doing well. They are secure in who they are in Christ and grew up in homes with their mother and father. We are blessed.

Don’t believe the lies of our culture. My parents stayed in an unhappy marriage and now they are madly in love with each other. Ken and I were not in a happy marriage but now we love each other deeply. We all benefited from my parents staying together and so do our children and grandchildren . They see generations of couples staying married until death do they part. There’s not much of a better legacy, besides loving and living for Jesus, that you can leave to your children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren.

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

Is This Church Too Extreme and Legalistic?

Is This Church Too Extreme and Legalistic?

“My husband and I have been going to a Baptist church that describes itself as ‘old-fashioned, independent, fundamental, KJV Bible-believing & preaching.’ My husband loves this church and wants us to become members, but there are a few things that have been bothering me.

The first thing, my husband met with the pastor about a month ago for lunch and the pastor was explaining their beliefs to my husband. Apparently he went on and on about how this is a men’s church, that they’ll never have a women preach ever, and that women should remain silent in church.

“The second thing, I went to a women’s event there that was about biblical femininity. But it was mostly a slideshow showing ‘good’ and ‘bad’ outfits for women to wear; the ‘good,’ being below-knee or floor length skirts, and the ‘bad,’ showing pants or above-knee skirts.

“The third thing, my husband went to church on Wednesday and the pastor asked for prayer for a sick baby in the congregation. He asked all the men to come forward to pray without asking the women to do anything.

“I’m worried that this church is too legalistic and extreme. Now, my husband loves this church so I guess I’m just asking for reassurance that these things sound okay. A part of me feels like I’m questioning them too much but I just want to be careful before deciding to trust their actions more.”

This was a comment from one of the women in the chat room and I asked her for permission to make a post out of it since this sounds like my kind of church! First of all, I love KJV. I have been reading it ever since I went to Michael and Debi Pearl’s conference nearby many years ago. Michael is a firm believer that it’s the only Bible we should be reading and makes a good case for it. I have grown to love reading this version! (I will never be contentious about this issue, however.)

The Apostle Paul was VERY clear that men are to be the leaders of the churches. They are to be the elders and deacons and women are to be silent in the church. In fact, he wrote that it is shameful for women to speak in the church so this church is simply obeying the pure Word of God which is a great thing and something all Bible-believing churches should do. Many “Christians” today, unfortunately, prefer water-downed, tickle-their-ears type of churches and teachings. Prophesy not unto us right things, speak unto us smooth things, prophesy deceits (Isaiah 30:10).

I would love to go to a women’s event at a church about biblical femininity! Teaching women about modesty should be something the older women of the church should be doing. If the Apostle Paul wrote this through the inspiration of Almighty God: “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” (1 Timothy 2:9), then elders (those ordained by God to be leaders in the church) and older women (those commanded to teach younger women to be discreet) have every right to teach women modesty standards. (Shamefaced means to not draw attention to ourselves which means dressing modestly.)

When they asked the men to come forward to pray over the sick child, the women could all easily pray quietly in the seats for this baby. This church clearly shows that men are the leaders and this is biblical.

Is this church legalistic and extreme? I asked this woman who made the comment if they teach the Word of God. She told me that yes they do. Her husband was saved in this church, they also help the sick and needy, and baptize those who become saved. We must understand that legalism is making up man-made rules. The modesty standards they have set could be considered legalistic but if the leadership wants to set them, then it is not since God has ordained them to lead. The church leaders are allowed to run their churches however they want and it’s up to those attending whether they want to attend the church or not. There is no perfect church since there are no perfect people.

This church seems extreme in our culture but I bet it is exactly how the majority of churches operated before the 1960s. The churches spoke out against birth control. All the women wore dresses below their knees. There were no female preachers in the true Christian churches. Men ran everything while women sat quietly in the pews and learned. This is the way God designed for the churches to run but most of us have been breathing the feminist air our entire lives so this seems legalistic and extreme to us, but it’s not.

If they are diligent to teach the entire Word of God, they are a good church and I would love to go to a church like this one. Someone should be setting modesty standards in our churches these days, that’s for sure! Most of the women who commented on this thread in the chat room wrote that they would love to attend a church like this one. Yes, women, there is a remnant who loves obeying all of what the Apostle Paul wrote concerning women.

Lastly and most importantly, if her husband loves this church, she needs to submit to his leadership and learn to love it, too!

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
1 Corinthians 14:34, 35

Feminism Hits Petticoat Junction

Feminism Hits Petticoat Junction

One woman shared a YouTube of an episode from Petticoat Junction that was broadcast in the late 1960s. It’s such a clear picture of the convoluted nature of feminism. I am going to write out some of the conversation for you. It’s about one of the sisters, Billy Jo, whose been in Chicago for six weeks and the other sisters, Bobbi Jo and Betty Jo, are busy around the home getting ready for her arrival.

Billy Jo’s boyfriend, Jerry, picks her up from the train station and she comes out of the train dressed in a man’s suit! No one likes it at all. It reminds me of the emperor with no clothes! She has been brainwashed by the feminist movement and some of the things her sisters and mother, Kate, say to her are classic and would NEVER be allowed on television today!

Billy Jo states that women have the “menial jobs” while the men have the the high paying jobs.

One sister asks, “What are we going to do about it?”

Billy Jo responds, “Fight!”

The other sister, “That doesn’t sound very ladylike.”

Billy Jo: “That’s another thing, we are not ladies, we’re women. Lady is a term coined by men to restrict us. ‘A lady doesn’t do this. A lady doesn’t do that.’ We’re all the same. We’re all equal!”

The very pretty, feminine mother: “Well, actually we are different. It’s the way it’s supposed to be otherwise God wouldn’t have created both men and women.”

Billy Jo when asked how to accomplish this feminism: “Assume all of the prerogatives of men. We’ll even stand alone if necessary. The more militant members of the organization recommend complete segregation from men.”

Kate, the mother: “Complete segregation? You mean even including sex and marriage?”

Billy Jo: “Everything!”

One sister raises her hand and proclaims, “No way!”

The other sister: “I agree. I mean if we’re not going to marry men, who else is there?”

Mother: “Billy Jo, may I ask you a question? What does Jerry think of all this? The dream man? The number one? The one who made those six long weeks in Chicago bearable?”

Billy Jo, “Oh him…”

Mother, “That’s enough. Those two words tell it all.”

The rest of this episode shows the ugliness and utter stupidity of feminism.  The devastating effects of feminism are seen on marriages and relationships between men and women as the women used manipulation, pouting, and aggressiveness to get what they want. Watch it and weep for our nation and how blinded even Christian woman have become to the truth of God’s Word and His ways all because the emperor (feminism) had no clothes on but made everyone think he (feminists) did. Feminism takes away all femininity from women and makes them masculine. (The show did end good, however, unlike our culture, since all of the women decided they liked being feminine and treated like a lady by the men! They didn’t enjoy being men and treated like men.)

The final result of feminism: “London Women would rather have DOGS (and Netflix) than kids & NEVER want to be married.” Feminism = Unhappy Life

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4

Marriage Advice to a Newlywed

Marriage Advice to a Newlywed

A woman wrote me and asked me for marriage advice since she just got married a few days ago. Since I write about it almost every day, I went to the wise women in the chat room and asked them what advice they would give and this is what they wrote:

Honor your Husband – doing your best to be a godly help meet to him and focusing on your role as a keeper at home

The best advice I received was to argue on the same team. It’s not you vs your husband, it’s you and your husband vs a problem.
(I teach not to argue at all!)

Laugh, tease, play, have fun! Be silly at times! Marriage is a beautiful thing. Enjoy it <3

Keep being best friends. It’s not complicated.

Don’t nag over little stuff! Things like dishes in the sink and socks on the floor are not worth damaging your marriage over.

Do not act on your emotions but be obedient to the word of God. Put His word daily in you and pray for your husband daily. Love the way Christ loves you and be the help meet you were created to be.

Assume that any slights are unintentional.

Look for the good in every situation: Pollyanna-esq

Be kind, cook him good food, and have lots of sex.

Don’t think bad about your husband. Always look for the best in him.

Choose your battles wisely. Always put him first.

Never let the sun go down on your wrath. We’ve had many late nights and early mornings. But we will at least agree to disagree and let the hurt go before bed so Satan can’t let anger and resentment fester.

Zero expectations. Get out of the way of the Holy Spirit’s work in his life.

Be kind, be sweet, be generous! Submit to him in all things, even the seemingly insignificant. Swallow your pride. Be humble and soft. Get up early and make him breakfast. Always have his meals ready on time. Be/dress sexy when it’s just you and him. Greet him with a kiss and a smile. Keep the house clean and organized. Listen attentively to everything he shares with you.

Pray daily for him and for your marriage.

Complement him! Lavish him in complements! Always meet his sexual needs and cook him good delicious food. These three things are very important to my husband and they make him a happy man.

Read Debi Pearl’s Created to Be His Help Meet and pray that God would help you live the way she describes and teaches. Also, read your Bible daily.

Love and serve your husband joyfully not only when you feel he is “worthy” or “deserving,” but all the time because it is what God has called us to do. Be the kind of wife that gives your husband your best even when you don’t feel like it. What does this look like? Greeting him with a smile on your face even after you’ve had a long day at home with the kids. Having sex with him even when you’re tired and just want to go to bed. Praying for him when all you want to do is just spend a few minutes on Facebook. These are all things I need to work on as well but just thought I’d share what I’ve learned! Having an attitude of joyfully serving your husband is so important!

Communicate. He really can’t read your mind/heart. Be peaceful and submissive about it though.

It is not your husband’s responsibility to meet your needs! It’s God’s responsibility! Ask Him for your needs.

The grass is greener where you water it!!!

Be in the Word and in prayer everyday; it takes supernatural strength to be able to submit to your husband joyfully in everything. 🌷

Love won’t always be a feeling. It is a choice that you make every day. Older women are to TEACH younger women to love their husbands

1. Expectations ruin relationships.
2. Sex is a biological NEED for men and sex is not a sandwich. Anyone can make your husband a sandwich but YOU are the only one who can righteously fulfill his need for physical intimacy. Don’t tempt him to find other ways to meet this need.
3. Don’t argue but if you do never go to bed angry. Work it out before dinner.

My advice would be to read your blog and really live it!

Work on leaving and cleaving from your own family. Watch your tongue and only build up your husband, especially with your own family. Defend your husband and his good name. Oh and never ever say anything negative aloud. If something comes to mind you can’t really help it but once you speak it you begin to believe it and someone else will hear you and then it becomes acceptable to talk poorly about him in front of you.

Remember that you cannot control what your spouse is doing but you can control your own reactions. Pray instead of nag. Love with not only words, but your heart, actions, and words.

Be *genuinely* kind and loving. Show undeserved grace. (After all, we have been shown this grace ourselves by Jesus!)

Don’t say no to sex for trivial reasons such as being tired or not in the mood, especially after kids come.
Keep him as your number 1 priority below Jesus.
You’ll be glad years down the line!

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Ephesians 5:22

Upset That Their Husbands Act Like Men

Upset That Their Husbands Act Like Men

Many women are continually upset at their husbands because their husbands act like men instead of women. Once women understand that men are different than them, they will be more content with their husbands but they sure aren’t being taught this important truth these days.

An article titled Women Aren’t Nags – We’re Just Fed Up explains clearly the faulty thinking of women today. First, the author wanted her husband to take care of all of the details of hiring the best housekeeper possible and was frustrated that he didn’t do this. “What I wanted was for him to ask friends on Facebook for a recommendation, call four or five more services, do the emotional labor I would have done if the job had fallen to me.”

She asked this from her husband for a Mother’s Day gift but was disappointed that he wasn’t the one finding a housekeeper. I would have encouraged her to simply find one herself and stop being upset with her husband. This gives Satan a foothold in the marriage. Love shows grace and mercy freely.

“The gendered assumption is that ‘men are the problem solvers because women are too emotional,'” she explains. “But who is really solving the bulk of the world’s problems at home and in the office?”

Women were created to solve all of the details of life at home but last I heard it’s men who are the ones who have invented and built almost every single thing there is from jets, to freeways, to cell phones, etc. They’re created to solve the BIG problems while women were created to run the households.

Then there was a box in the way yet she refused to tell him that it needed to be moved so she responded to him:“That’s the point,” I said, now in tears, “I don’t want to have to ask.”

Men can’t read our minds. If we need something to be done, we need to ask them kindly. Women wanting men to read their minds has led to so much destruction within marriages. Men aren’t mind readers. They aren’t women. They don’t think like women. Homes will always be a woman’s domain no matter how much women don’t want it this way.

“‘In general, we gender emotions in our society by continuing to reinforce the false idea that women are always, naturally and biologically able to feel, express, and manage our emotions better than men,’ says Dr. Lisa Huebner, a sociologist of gender, who both publishes and teaches on the subject of emotional labor at West Chester University of Pennsylvania…’but I would argue that we still have no firm evidence that this ability is biologically determined by sex.'”

What? I didn’t even know that there was a possibility that there was a theory that found “women are always, naturally and biologically able to feel, express, and manage their emotions better than men.” Yes, most women feel and express their emotions better than men but they certainly don’t manage their emotions better than men. Women usually struggle with allowing their emotions and feelings to rule them instead of truth. Our emotional nature (the tender, nurturing side) is perfectly fitted for being home full time with our children.

“He restated that all I ever needed to do was ask him for help, but therein lies the problem. I don’t want to micromanage housework. I want a partner with equal initiative.”

Her job from our Creator is to micromanage housework. She married a man and most men aren’t housework-oriented like women. It’s in our DNA. It’s not in men’s since they were created to be providers and protectors and women were the ones created to be nurturers and keepers at home.

“However, it’s not as easy as telling him that. My husband, despite his good nature and admirable intentions, still responds to criticism in a very patriarchal way.”

The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping (Proverbs 19:13) From reading this article, we can see that she is extremely critical and unhappy with her husband. Placing unfair expectations upon our husbands is the quickest route to an unhappy marriage. Men are not created to be bossed around or criticized by their wives and they instinctively know it. They will either fight back or take flight.

“Bearing the brunt of all this emotional labor in a household is frustrating. It’s the word I hear most commonly when talking to friends about the subject of all the behind-the-scenes work they do. It’s frustrating to be saddled with all of these responsibilities, no one to acknowledge the work you are doing, and no way to change it without a major confrontation.”

It’s frustrating for these women because they are fighting against God’s ordained role for them. They are trying to force their role upon their husbands and a lot of husbands aren’t taking too kindly to it. Women’s work is to be “saddled with all of these responsibilities” (keepers at home), find their praise in knowing they are doing exactly what God has called them to do even if they receive no praise from others, and not try to change their husbands with confrontation since this never builds up a marriage. No, it tears it down.

“My husband does a lot. He does dishes every night habitually. He often makes dinner. He will handle bedtime for the kids when I am working. If I ask him to take on extra chores, he will, without complaint. It feels greedy, at times, to want more from him. Yet I find myself worrying about how the mental load born almost exclusively by women translates into a deep gender inequality that is hard to shake on the personal level.”

Instead of appreciating all of the good things about her husband and what he does to lighten her load, she worries about things that can’t be fixed. Men and women are DIFFERENT. They always will be because God created them this way, yet feminists continue to fight against it until they have destroyed everything good in their lives. Feminism is fighting against the ways of God. They are fighting God. Period.

“For parents, this means making sure that one spouse does not do more of that type of labor than the other. Speaking in terms of how emotional labor is currently divided, girls will hopefully learn not to expect to have to do that labor and boys will hopefully learn not to expect females to do that labor for them.”

Do you see how confusing life and marriage becomes when we leave the clearly defined roles the Lord has given to us? It’s not worth it, women. Don’t nag your husbands to help with the housework. Do it cheerfully, as unto the Lord. Just because women have left their homes in pursuit of careers doesn’t automatically mean that men want to take over the work at homes that women have left. All it has done is cause destruction in its path.

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.
Jeremiah 6:16