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Month: April 2017

What is the Gift of Prophesy?

What is the Gift of Prophesy?

Many today have a “new” word or revelation from God as if God speaks directly to them. It seems to be especially prevalent among women preachers/teachers/authors and many Christian woman as if His Word isn’t enough for them apparently. Women, who are more easily deceived, seem to be very prone to this. They want to “feel” close to Jesus and be able to communicate with Him by hearing His voice. Everything we need for life and godliness are in His Word.

The gift of prophecy is clearly spelled out in His Word: “But he that prophesieth speaketh unto men to edification, and exhortation, and comfort” (1 Corinthians 14:3). Men and women can have this gift. Here is a great explanation of a person who has the gift of prophecy from the Institute of Basic Life Principles web site. If you have the gift of prophecy, this is a great source to study and know clearly your strengths and weaknesses so you can work on your strengths and rid yourself of your weaknesses. My favorite preachers are those who are gifted with prophesy since I love to clearly know right from wrong, good from evil.

A prophet’s basic motivational drive is to apply the Word of God to a situation so that sin is exposed and relationships are restored. Prophets might be considered the “trumpets” of the Body of Christ who sound the alarm in the face of sin and compromise.

  • A prophet calls attention to sin and wrong attitudes.
  • The prophet is passionate about exposing sin, but not primarily so that sinners can be punished. Rather, he is passionate about exposing sin so that truth can be revealed and fellowship with God can be restored.
  • A prophet has a God-given ability to sense when compromises are being made, and his nature demands that action be taken—something must be done. This action may take the form of an overt protest or confrontation, or it may take the form of a conversation or correspondence.
  • For a prophet, any solution that involves compromise is unacceptable.
  • For the prophet, to observe or discern sin and say nothing is, of itself, sin. Naturally, knowing that a prophet has this perspective tends to make some of us feel intimidated or uncomfortable around them—even when we are guiltless! The prophet’s abhorrence of sin can easily be viewed as a judgmental spirit, and no one wants to be the object of that judgment.
  • The prophet often displays the spiritual gift of discerning of spirits; he is able to discern true motives as the Holy Spirit gives him divine insights. As a general rule, the prophet is more interested in whether or not the heart is pure than whether or not the activity in question is acceptable.
  • Prophets are usually outspoken, sometimes brash; they tell it like it is.
  • They tend to see issues as “black or white,” not “gray.”

A Prophet’s Strengths

  • A prophet is confident in his use of Scripture, because he regards Scripture as the only source of truth.
  • A mature prophet easily discerns hypocrisy, because God has gifted him to discern Truth.
  • He is usually more teachable than others, especially when discipline or correction is required. When a wise prophet is confronted with his sin, he sees it as God sees it and consequently is crushed (if he is walking in the Spirit and not in the flesh).
  • The prophet accepts absolutes easily. The rest of us try to explain them away; prophets simply take God at His Word.
  • He is not easily swayed by emotions.
  • A prophet has a deep capacity to trust God, based on what God has promised. This is the prophet’s attitude: “If it’s right, do it. Trust God for the outcome—it’s His responsibility.”

A Prophet’s Weaknesses

  • A prophet’s need to be “painfully truthful” may result in insensitivity or harshness.
  • Prophets often have little sympathy and patience with people who do not respond objectively.
  • A prophet’s sense of conviction may tempt him or her to become intolerant or prideful.
  • Because of the prophet’s deep consciousness of sin, he sometimes seems to have a negative, “gloomy” approach to life.

I would that ye all spake with tongues but rather that ye prophesied: for greater is he that prophesieth than he that speaketh with tongues, except he interpret, that the church may receive edifying.
1 Corinthians 14:5

Fighting for Their Husband’s Eternal Soul

Fighting for Their Husband’s Eternal Soul

Guest post by Kelley

“Can you expound upon what you mean when you say “they are not only fighting for their husband’s eternal soul”? I am not quite sure I understand what this means. Can you provide scripture with this for further understanding? Thanks.”

Dear Tamra,

We are not wrestling with flesh and blood in this battle for the souls of our mates and children. We are engaged in spiritual warfare with the principalities and wickedness of the rulers of darkness. But greater is He within us than the enemy of our mates’ or children’s souls.

I Googled verses to “help a fallen brother” and a myriad of powerful and lovely words divinely inspired by God Himself came up, to name only a few:

Ecclesiastes 4:10
Hebrews 6:10; 13:16
John 15:12-13
Philippians 2:4
Proverbs 3:27
Romans 15:1
1 John 4:19-20
Matt 25:35-40 and 44-45
Galatians 6:1
James 5:19-20

Without the life-giving breath of God, each of us would be destined for hell. Some must be resuscitated, and could it be that that’s why you’ve come? Why you are here? Could you have come to the Kingdom for such a time as this, for the very saving of our man’s soul? My husband’s?

The season when my own dad left my mother is one we call “When Dad lost his mind.” Literally, the vapors– if you will– of evil consumed every centimeter of his life, so much so that he would leave his wife of nearly 25 years and their youngest 14 year old child for another woman who was on her second husband. “What is he thinking?!” haunted us over and over. “What is he thinking?”

Until her prodigal husband “came to his senses,” as the Word says about the prodigal son, Widow Connie Hultquist cried out to God daily for her wayward man, setting a place for him at the head of their dinner table for 12 long, horrific years. She did battle for him on her knees in prayer, listening for the door, ears cocked for the sound of his footsteps. He came home numerous times, and she asked no questions. That’s what shame does, asks why did you leave me? Asks, what were you thinking? She never shamed Jim. She said she just poured her love out on him, helped him bathe, exchange his rags for clean clothes, poured in the oil, massaged his broken body, filled his stomach with a delicious, hot meal that she had stirred with love and seasoned with reverence and compassion.

Widow Hultquist fought on her knees in obedience to the Word of God for the soul of her ungodly husband. Finally, after 12 long years of running from God, Connie’s faithful prayers chased her husband down; Jim couldn’t refuse that kind of deep love for another second. He yielded and humbled himself before God and went back home. He decided he wanted Connie’s God. His widow says it was worth every tear shed, every trying moment of every lonely night in their bed. Jim was Connie’s Jesus, and when she acted upon her faith in these ways toward “the least of these,” she had done it unto Jesus.

See, we forget that our husbands are Jesus wearing size 32×32 Levi’s or size medium Fruit of the Looms or a 15.5 x 33-inch dress shirt. This man is a soul, and every spiritual battle we fight, every prayer we pray, every meal, swept floor or pair of clean socks is worth it so he’ll never whiff the fumes of hell. If we wouldn’t wish hell on Jesus, we must do everything in our power to see that our husbands don’t go there either.

Baptize us, Lord, with a love for our husbands’ souls!

*hugs*
~Kelley

Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him; Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.
James 5:19, 20

Dissipating Her Husband’s Substance

Dissipating Her Husband’s Substance

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones (Proverbs 12:4). “Solomon seems to intend by this appellation, a woman who has all the perfections of her sex; wisdom, modesty, prudence, virtue, and, above all, economy and good management; and by her who maketh ashamed, he means the contrary; and particularly a woman who dissipates her husband’s substance in expensive follies; in the same manner as he called a libertine a prodigal son, a son that causeth shame.” (Benson Commentary)

Many women today are spendthrifts. They are continually going shopping and spending money or scouring the Internet for things to buy. The average woman makes 301 trips to the store annually, spending close to 400 hours a year shopping. This amounts to 8.5 years spent shopping during a typical lifespan. They are not content with what they have and must have more and more. A friend of mine just had dinner with a man whose wife was rottenness in his bones. She didn’t like the color of the Hummer he had bought her and wanted a new one. She spent all of his hard-earned money and was never satisfied. He was a broken and miserable man. Unfortunately, these types of stories aren’t uncommon in today’s materialistic society.

There are other women who go deep into debt by going to college and taking out big loans. Then when they marry their husbands, the husbands have the added burden of trying to pay off their wives’ loans, plus these same women want expensive wedding rings. Women, this isn’t using wisdom! We don’t need an expensive college education, the latest fashions, expensive haircuts and manicures, spa days, elaborate vacations, new cars, perfectly decorated homes, eating out often (Americans now spend more money on dining out than groceries), etc. if all these mean we are dissipating our husband’s income. We must not be rottenness to their bones but strive to be virtuous women who are a crown to our husbands instead, for godliness with contentment is great gain.

Here are some examples of virtuous wives who live contentedly within their husband’s income and are a crown to them.

 Laine lives within her husband’s income and has learned to be content with little. She found joy in living carefully and frugally while praying for wisdom often. “Every paycheck, I do my best to put a little away. Even if it is only a little, it is a savings. We have a savings account, a retirement account where a sum is taken out of my husband’s salary each month, and an emergency account for emergencies. There is desirable treasure and oil in the dwelling of the wise, but a foolish man squanders all that he has (Proverbs 21:20).

I do my best to keep our electrical and water bills as low as possible. When we were in an electrical crisis and our bill tripled overnight, we went into a very small, hip high refrigerator with no freezer and shut down our water heater. …We had to heat our water to bathe and to wash dishes. It was rough for awhile, but I was able to keep us on our budget. (She admits that they had to truly sacrifice to get out of debt and this is an example of a sacrifice they made, no hot running water for a time.)”

Here’s another woman who was a crown to her husband by living within her husband’s income. “I make my own cleaning products, personal care products, and most condiments. I would also add that we have a child with multiple severe food allergies, and I do buy our staple foods in organic versions and make all my own baked goods, treats, etc. from healthier ingredients.

We have SLOW Internet, no cable. No smartphones. No fancy gadgets. We do have newer vehicles, one that we are still paying on, and my hubby just bought a motorcycle for its fuel efficiency for his commute. We have a small backyard flock of chickens for egg and for meat.”

Then there are all of the women who I have asked how they have been able to stay home and live within their husband’s income. One woman responded, “For me, the most important change for making it on one income was mental. When I quit practicing law, I kept finding a quote that the path of Christianity is one of ‘downward mobility.’ Trusting that there is greater peace, joy, and fullness of life with less money/stuff/conveniences was key for me. Also, I personally don’t make my own laundry soap, can, thrift, etc. That is WONDERFUL for those who do, but tips like that would’ve scared me off the one-income idea. I say this just in case someone is reading this thinking, ‘Obviously, we can’t live on one income because I can’t do all of that!’ Those of us brought up to be career women have a hard enough time with the transition! But there are lots of ways to save money that don’t require Mom to be a domestic creative genius. We eat out pretty infrequently, drive older, long-paid-off cars, no cable or up-to-date electronics, ‘vacation’ only by visiting family, etc. I miss nothing that I used to spend money on, and find family life so much richer than financial wealth!”

It is your choice: do you want to be a crown to your husband by living carefully within his income or rottenness in his bones by spending more than he earns?

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12

Righteous Judgment Versus Hypocritical Judgment

Righteous Judgment Versus Hypocritical Judgment

There is a mistaken thought among many Christians that we are not to judge. Yes, we are to judge. We are called to be mature Christians who feed upon the meat of God’s Word and can clearly distinguish between good and evil (Hebrews 5:14). Then Jesus tells us to take the mote out of our eye before we can take the speck out of another’s eyes (Matthew 7:1-5). This means that if I was a career woman by choice, I could not teach women to be keepers at home until I became a keeper at home. I couldn’t teach women to obey their husbands, if I was disobeying my husband or I would be a hypocrite.

In 1 Corinthians 5:12, we are told to judge those within the Church. Anyone who calls themselves a Christian should be living like one and this is why we are told to exhort one another daily because of the destructive nature that sin has upon our witness for Christ and the person in sin. Yes, there is a difference between righteous judgment and hypocritical judgment.

Now, some women have told me that I judge others and even slander them. Nancy Wolgemuth has been teaching through Titus recently and wrote this about slander: “Someone has called slander and malicious gossip verbal homicide. You’re killing someone’s reputation—verbal homicide, slander. It destroys lives; it destroys families; it destroys relationships; it destroys churches. I have seen it over and over and over again. If you stop to think about it, you’ve seen it over and over again. That’s grievous enough, but what grieves my heart is to think, how many times have I contributed to dividing friends, to destroying friends or relationships, the Body of Christ, by the wicked use of my tongue to slander others?”

When I use Scripture to give my thoughts about the IF:Gathering, I am not slandering the women who run it when I say they should be teaching what God has commanded for older women to teach younger women and that social justice is not what the Kingdom of God is about. If the women who led the IF:Gathering were to ever read my article, they would see that I had no desire to destroy their lives, families, relationships, or churches. My desire is to point women back to the truth of God’s Word.

When I bring up a famous Christian woman who beautifies homes, has a TV show, owns a large store, and cafe and share that I am saddened that she is not a full-time keeper at home with her children, I am NOT judging hypocritically. I am making a righteous judgment that it is God’s will for mothers to be home full time with their children raising them in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Joanna Gaines said, “As long as I can go home at night and be with the babies. It’s worth it just to be able to do that locally.” Children deserve to have their mothers home more than just at night. All of those other things she’s involved in are for naught if she loses her children to the world. I am not trying to destroy her life.

I am not judging her relationship to the Lord or her love for Him because only God knows this and I will never call other people names. My goal is never to hurt others but to steer them towards godly womanhood that is clearly spelled out in Scripture if they claim the name of Christ.

What about when I write about women who are preaching to men as I recently found out that Nancy Wolgemuth does? They are not supposed to do this so they need to be convicted about it. I know they have all different ways to manipulate Scripture to show that what they are doing is good and right but they are wrong and should stop doing what they are doing. God gave men the ministry of teaching the Word to the Church.

These days, there are many being led astray by women claiming to “hear a word from God” and then teaching this as God’s Word to others. How can they believe this when we have verses such as this one? “For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart” (Hebrews 4:12)? His Word is all we need for life and godliness and when other women are trying to build their ministry on something they “heard” God tell them, I will make a righteous judgment and say that this is wrong.

Women, we do need to be careful about gossip and slander for the purpose of hurting other women and their reputation. However, it’s good to call them out if they are claiming to be a Christian and not living according to His Word. If you personally know them, then you go to them in person and privately speak to them about it but if they are a public person and may even be leading women astray, then you warn others about them so they aren’t led astray from the simplicity that is in Christ.

But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.
2 Corinthians 11:3

Wives Are Commanded to Fear Their Husbands

Wives Are Commanded to Fear Their Husbands

How are godly women to win their disobedient husband? By being in subjection to them without a word while they (their husbands) behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear (1 Peter 3:2). This “coupled with fear” stood out to me recently so I went to the commentaries to figure out what this meant.

Pulpit Commentary: “The close connection with the word ‘chaste, and the parallel passage, Ephesians 5:33 (‘the wife see that she reverence her husband’), make it probable that the fear here inculcated is reverence for the husband – an anxious avoidance of anything that might even seem to interfere with his conjugal rights and authority.”

Most husbands can only dream of having a wife who feared them in this way! Unfortunately, the majority of wives today have no desire to fulfill their husband’s “conjugal rights” or allow him to be the “authority” in their homes. What are conjugal or marriage rights? Conjugal rights would include not depriving their husbands of sexual intimacy since this is a strong need that the majority of men have and their wives are commanded to fulfill it according to the Word. It also includes treating their husbands with respect and reverence. Wives are to be their husband’s help meet and take good care of their children and home as well. Godly wives will want to do these things for their husbands and do their best to obey their husbands in everything!

Included in this list of conjugal rights of a husband as a godly wife, would be to build her home up instead of tearing it down with her own hands. Part of building her home up would be pursuing peace within her home. Most husbands don’t want to fight with their wives. They also want well-disciplined children who are pleasurable to be around.

“Coupled with fear; with reverence of their husbands, giving them due honour, and showing all proper respect; or with the fear of God, which being before their eyes, and upon their hearts, engages them to such an agreeable conversation.” (Gill’s Exposition of the Entire Bible)

Ultimately women, we will one day answer to God for how we treat our husbands for when we reverence and fear our husbands, we are showing reverence and fear towards God. Knowing this, we won’t argue with our husbands because when we are arguing, we are showing disrespect and are usurping our husband’s God-given authority over us. We need to be agreeing with them a lot more than we are disagreeing. If we disagree, we state our opinion once and then let it go. Hammering them over the head with our opinions all of the time is not showing them the respect they deserve.

“Fear—reverential, towards your husbands. Scrupulously pure, as opposed to the noisy, ambitious character of worldly women.” (Jamieson-Fausset)

Women of the world today are incredibly noisy. They want to be known, their voices heard, and their wants fulfilled. They march for godless principles, watch ungodly shows, and speak filth. This is opposite of what the Lord wants from us. We are to be known for having meek and quiet spirits. We rest in the Lord’s will and are at peace, not fighting for what we want but living out godly values instead. We trust the Lord to handle things so our faith becomes strong and we pray continually.

“That she entertain a high esteem for him, be desirous of pleasing him in all things lawful, reasonable, and proper, and fear to give him unnecessarily any just offence in anything, persuaded that it is the will of God, and the law of the relation in which she stands to him, that she should thus conduct herself toward him.” (Benson)

Godly wives only seek the best for their husbands and dwell on the good in them. Their hearts are set on pleasing them and making their lives better. They are careful with their own lives and words so they don’t do or say anything that will embarrass them. A wife is her husband’s glory (1 Corinthians 11:7) so her behavior reflects good or badly upon her husband.

“Fear, in the sense of reverence, spontaneous, obedient regard; cf.the frequent application of the verb to the fear of God.” (Expositor’s Greek Testament)

Just as we trained our children to cheerfully and immediately obey us when they are young, a wife who cheerfully obeys her husband when he asks her to do something brings joy to him just as Sarah obeyed Abraham: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement (1 Peter 3:6).

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:12

Death Has Lost Its Sting

Death Has Lost Its Sting

Written By Charles Spurgeon

O child of God, death hath lost its sting, because the devil’s power over it is destroyed. Then cease to fear dying. Ask grace from God the Holy Ghost, that by an intimate knowledge and a firm belief of thy Redeemer’s death, thou mayst be strengthened for that dread hour.

Living near the cross of Calvary thou mayst think of death with pleasure, and welcome it when it comes with intense delight. It is sweet to die in the Lord: it is a covenant-blessing to sleep in Jesus. Death is no longer banishment, it is a return from exile, a going home to the many mansions where the loved ones already dwell.

The distance between glorified spirits in heaven and militant saints on earth seems great; but it is not so. We are not far from home–a moment will bring us there. The sail is spread; the soul is launched upon the deep. How long will be its voyage? How many wearying winds must beat upon the sail ere it shall be reefed in the port of peace? How long shall that soul be tossed upon the waves before it comes to that sea which knows no storm? Listen to the answer, “Absent from the body, present with the Lord.”

Yon ship has just departed, but it is already at its haven. It did but spread its sail and it was there. Like that ship of old, upon the Lake of Galilee, a storm had tossed it, but Jesus said, “Peace, be still,” and immediately it came to land. Think not that a long period intervenes between the instant of death and the eternity of glory. When the eyes close on earth they open in heaven. The horses of fire are not an instant on the road. Then, O child of God, what is there for thee to fear in death, seeing that through the death of thy Lord its curse and sting are destroyed? and now it is but a Jacob’s ladder whose foot is in the dark grave, but its top reaches to glory everlasting.

“That through death he might destroy him that had the power of death.”
Hebrews 2:14

Feminism Gives Women No Choice at All

Feminism Gives Women No Choice at All

Nothing seems to make women today more angry than when I write about women being keepers at home as if mothers being home full time with their children is a horrible idea. They try to convince me that feminism only wants to give women a choice and it’s good but I don’t ever believe them. An article called Feminism Has a Ferocity Problem explains why feminism doesn’t give women a choice at all.

“Why is feminism indulging and demanding a consistent form of pop-culture propaganda? It boils down to one word — careerism. It’s becoming increasingly clear that the foremost object of modern feminism isn’t respecting and honoring the choices that real women make, but rather making sure that women make a certain kind of choice — to live with the same career- and action-dominant attitude that has prevailed in male culture for many thousands of years.”

Feminism’s desire is to turn women into men and men into women, plain and simple. They don’t like it when an older woman like me tries to encourage and convince younger women to be homemakers, bear children, be help meets to their husbands, and find joy in doing these things. No, this is completely against their agenda so they fight me on it every chance they get. They’re afraid I’m going to set women back a century or two and cause women to act like women (feminine) again. No, it’s not part of their agenda at all!

Godly women want nothing to do with ferocity and being ferocious; demanding their way, loud, and stubborn. They have no desire to be like men and do what men do: have careers that take them away from home all day to provide a living for their families. No, they want men to do this so they can stay home and care for their families and homes.

“To the extent that feminists portray this as the new ideal, they merely construct yet another ideological prison for women and young girls. Try as they might, modern feminists can’t turn girls into boys and boys into girls. They can, however, make members of both sexes miserable. That’s one thing the radicals do all too well.”

With the depression rate in women rising 400%, we all know that feminism is a big, fat failure and it makes no one happy at all. Let’s all go back to obeying the perfect Word of God and find contentment in our marriages, our children, and our homes, just where the Good Lord wants us to be.

For those of you who say you “have” to work and have no choice, do you trust God? Do you believe that His “commands are not burdensome”? Do you believe He is our Provider and that NOTHING is impossible with Him? If you answer “yes” to all of these questions, then why do you not trust God to provide for you so you can be home full time with your family?

For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments; and His commandments are not burdensome.
1 John 5:3

Leaving His Socks on the Floor

Leaving His Socks on the Floor

A woman commented in the chat room: “There was an article recently about appreciating your husband even when he leaves his socks on the floor etc… I’m sure most people have read it… I kept thinking so basically appreciate the sucky things he does because hey, at least he’s not dead…. I’d rather my husband appreciate me for more than ‘at least she’s not dead.'”

Another woman responded to her the following that will bless all of you!

“I am married to a precious man, made in the image of our Father, who almost died on September 1, 2016 during one of our three marital separations, from an enormous brain aneurysm. But God. Even now, he is FAR from perfect (as am I), and he has yet to be our provider financially in full (we have four small children still at home.) Why do I say this to you? To have a martyr complex? To guilt you? To show you how “righteous” I am? PERISH THE THOUGHT.  No, I share this with you because almost losing your husband DOES put things like socks and dishes in perspective.

Once, before our third separation, I was so disgusted and furious with him that I picked ALL THE SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR of HIS out of our dirty laundry, and began carrying all my stuff downstairs to the washer dryer to do the wash. As I stood there, the Holy Spirit impressed upon my heart: ‘Whose wash do you think that IS, anyway? Yours? His? That laundry belongs to the LORD.’ I laughed. I mean, I LAUGHED OUT LOUD! Because it was so utterly absurd that I thought I could PICK OUT THE SOCKS that weren’t ‘mine’ and wash the rest and somehow be justified, because after all, my husband was a total JERK. (And he really was, in his flesh, a total jerk!)

I do not wish the pain of hearing your husband’s voice from EMS, having a large stroke, on anyone. But I will say: take heed to the words I share. There is perspective. When you look at that dishwasher, thank Jesus that you have hands to load it and push the buttons to turn it on. Thank Jesus that you are healthy enough to get up in the middle of the night and do it. Thank Jesus that you even have a husband. Thank Jesus that you do not have to wash your dishes in prison. Anything you can think of to get the focus off of self and onto Jesus.

I know it’s not easy. That’s why it’s called putting off the old and putting on the new. That takes effort when our perspective is being changed by the LORD. I encourage you to just turn to Him whenever negative thoughts try to turn on you, and just thank and praise Him out loud, as you work and love and serve and as you lie down to rest, and as you rise up! Soon, you will not even think negative thoughts, or if you do, you will cast them down immediately! Blessings on your new baby to come very soon. Enjoy this. We can be so fickle; myself included. ‘Oh, I want him here! Oh, no I don’t!’ I get it. Be encouraged. You CAN do it! Love and hugs from a woman who is NOT widowed, by the grace of God.”

But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.
Matthew 23:11

Reverencing Our Husbands

Reverencing Our Husbands

Most women today do NOT reverence their husbands. Most Christian women don’t even know what it means. I need to learn what it means. I do these words studies not only to teach those who want to learn but for me too. I have seen a few wives who reverence their husbands but it doesn’t come easy for most of us.

I made a YouTube about reverencing our husbands but I know some didn’t like it because they know that their husbands aren’t Christ. In the video, I said to treat your husbands as if they were Christ and then you will know what reverence looks like! I am not sure why I would even have to remind these women that their husbands aren’t Christ. Of course they are not but we are still commanded to reverence our husbands so I am going to try to explain what this means by using by trusty 1828 Webster’s Dictionary.

“Fear mingled with respect and esteem; veneration.” Veneration means “the highest degree of respect and reverence; respect mingled with some degree of awe; a feeling or sentiment excited by the dignity and superiority of a person, or by the sacredness of his character, and with regard to place, by its consecration to sacred services.”

Look at Sarah and how she reverenced her husband. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:5, 6).

The holy women trusted in God. This is foundational to our obedience to Him. “And hereby we do know that we know Him, if we keep His commandments” (1 John 2:3). What are those “commandments” we are to keep. The footnote to the word “commandments” in my Bible tells us: “John uses ‘commandments’ in the general sense of the divine will, however, revealed, ‘his word’ (v. 5) and especially of the law of Christ.” It’s NOT talking about the Old Testament Law, thankfully!

If we trust in Him, we will have no problem reverencing our husbands since He has commanded for us to do this. If our husbands make bad decisions, we will trust in God to make it right. If we are fearful over our husband’s job or income, we trust in God to be our Provider for when we are reverencing our husbands, bottom line – we are trusting in God.

From Barnes Notes on the Bible concerning these verses: “It was probably inferred from this instance, by the apostle, and not without reason, that Sarah habitually used this respectful appellation, acknowledging by it that he was her superior, and that he had a right to rule in his own house. The word lord has the elementary idea of ruling, and this is the sense here – that she acknowledged that he had a right to direct the affairs of his household, and that it was her duty to be in subjection to him as the head of the family.”

The easiest way for me to understand what reverence looks like in my relation to my husband is to treat him as if he were Christ and how I would treat Christ if He were living in my home. I haven’t found any other example or illustration that helps me to better understand this concept than this that was given by Denny Kenaston in The Hidden Woman, especially since I was never modeled it and having a servant’s heart doesn’t come naturally to me although I am a lot better than I used to be.

Our culture doesn’t reverence anything. They don’t even know what it means, therefore, most of us don’t either, but wives are commanded to reverence their husbands in Ephesians 5:33. If you love the Lord and want to obey Him in everything, then learn to reverence your husband. Reverence from a wife is a powerful thing in a husband’s life.

The wife see that she reverence her husband.
Ephesians 5:33

She is Loud and Stubborn

She is Loud and Stubborn

Many women today are loud and stubborn, exactly the opposite of what God wants us to be. She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house (Proverbs 7:11).

Elliot’s Commentary on this verse: “Here the wise man draws her character. She is clamorous and obstinate, or refractory. She is full of talk, self-willed, disobedient to her husband, rebellious against God, and incorrigible by any admonitions of ministers or friends. Her feet abide not in her house — She minds not her business, which lies in her own house, but gives herself wholly up to idleness and pleasure, which she seeks in gadding abroad, and in changing her place and company.”

Can you imagine a commentary today writing about a wife being “disobedient to her husband” or that her business “lies in her own house”? This is why I go to the commentaries of old. They understood the Word of God and that His ways are perfect for all generations. They didn’t need to water it down to make it more politically correct! These two issues (submission and keepers at home) are what make women most angry at me when they are truly angry at God.

Unfortunately, many men are married to women like this definition of loud and stubborn women. Married women today have no problem flirting with other men. They find old boyfriends on Facebook and begin an emotional affair that can easily turn into something more sordid without any thought for their husband and children. They are foolish women who are tearing their homes down with their own hands. They have no wisdom. They are “ever learning and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7) or like young widows who leave the faith and rebel against God’s will for them which is to marry, bear children, and guide the home: “And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not” (1 Timothy 5:13.

From the 1828 Webster Dictionary, clamorous means “speaking and repeating loud words; noisy; turbulent.” I’m sure most of you remember the images from the Women’s March the day after President Trump’s inauguration. Yes, those women fit the definition of clamorous to a tee.

Obstinate means “stubborn; pertinaciously adhering to an opinion or purpose; fixed  firmly in resolution; not yielding to reason, arguments or other means.” An obstinate woman doesn’t have a teachable heart. Being right is more important to her than having a strong, healthy relationship with her husband. She is deceived easily and follows women preachers and teachers with no discernment. She refuses to change her rebellious ways yet insists that everyone else is in the wrong except for her.

Refractory means “disobedient; obstinate in non-compliance; unmanageable.” Ken mentors men with wives like this. We pray for these couples because there’s not much a husband can do with a wife like this except to plead with the Lord. They refuse to listen or submit to their husbands and continually make life miserable for everyone in their family. It’s tragic and ugly.

Incorrigible means “cannot be corrected or amended; bad beyond correction; too depraved to be corrected or reformed.” It’s almost as if they have been given over to reprobate minds (a person abandoned to sin; one lost to virtue and religion – Romans 1:28) because they continually practice sin. They refuse to take any rebuke, exhortation, or advice. They have become their own god and falsely believe that what is right is wrong and what is wrong is right.

What is the opposite of being loud and stubborn and never at home? It is having a meek and quiet spirit, living in obedience to our husbands, and being a keeper at home (working hard in the home). Instead of being “self-willed” we need to go hard after God’s will and conform our will to His. This is what pleases the Lord and what He calls women to do. His ways are perfect!

But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4