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Author: Lori Alexander

Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

As many of you know, my post Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos went viral and is causing quite a stir. I should have definitely titled it “Godly Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos.” I want to make clear that the audience I teach are those young women who want to learn biblical womanhood as according to God’s instructions in Titus 2:3-5. They love the Lord and His beautiful ways.

I have received almost 90,000 comments on this post on Facebook so far and most of them hate it. (I have thousands of comments on my blog awaiting moderation for this post, so I won’t be publishing any comments on my blog for a while.) To all of you who are believers in Jesus Christ who have debt and have not kept yourself pure, remember that God has made you a new creation in Christ, washed away all of your sin, and now you walk in newness of life!

One godly, wise woman, Jackie Hernandez, shared my post on her Facebook page with this introduction:

“So many women (and some men) are misunderstanding this article. I agree with it 100 per cent. I wish I had received this counsel when I was younger. So, young women, take heed. I would just add that I believe it is GODLY young men who prefer such a woman. This article will not make any sense to a worldly/carnal man, and plus, their desires are much different than that of a Godly man. So that being said, all praise, honor and glory be to God; I have learned from my mistakes (being in debt, being sexually immoral, and I used to have a desire to get a tattoo but never did). I have been delivered from my ungodly sinful past and am now striving to please Him in all things.”

There were a lot of other great comments on Jackie’s thread, too, that I want to share with you:

Stephanie: “I agree. Unfortunately, too many women are taught that they don’t amount to much outside of a career, yes, even in the church. We need to teach our daughters the importance of being a wife and mother, not shipping them off to college because it’s the thing to do. Its very hard to give up a career that you’ve spent so much money and time on for your family. But as a stay at home mom, who homeschools her kids, I know what even an at home job can do to the family.

“Our kids need someone there for them to help them through the stages as they get older. My quite successful at home business is the one decision I regret, even though we needed it at the time. I would rather live in a trailer and have the time to teach my kids to follow Jesus than have the American dream. I urge every Christian mom out there to not give into the temptation to work while raising your kids. If you can do it, do it. Even if it means sacrifice. You will never regret it; we must train up our children in the way that they should go.

“The world will teach them to think differently, this is a battle we must fight for. The influences are very strong, even for those who are homeschooled and active in church. The worldly influences are there, too: they’re on social media, they’re in worldly music, and they’re in movies and TV. We are living in the days of Noah, and we need to protect our children from the evil in the world, and this is not an easy task, but I can say, that when you have done this, you will know that your children are ready to face the world with Jesus, and you will have no fear, because they are grounded in the truth. That is the best feeling ever.”

Aaron: “Great post! Sure to stir up the Facebook friends.

“Tattoos are sin:
Leviticus 19:28
Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print ANY marks upon you: I am the Lord.

“Fornication is Sin:
1 Corinthians 7:2
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.

“Debt is slavery:
Proverbs 22:7
The rich ruleth over the poor,
and the borrower is servant to the lender.

“This article is speaking to young ladies who might consider getting a tattoo. We know that it is better for a girl not to get a tattoo. If she has a tattoo, it is not something she should be proud of, but it should be a tool that she uses to teach other young ladies not to get tattoos. She should do her best in public to cover her tattoos up. People with tattoos go to heaven, as long as they are repentant of all their past ones, and do not glorify them in the future. Having tattoos, having drank, having smoked, having strange piercings – do any of these things discredit a repentant Christian from being all that they can be for God? No. But I am not proud of anything that I have done, or the scars that I bear for my sins. Lori Alexander spoke 100% what I would say to my future daughters as they grow up.”

Jackie Hernandez to Laura who was offended by my post: “You’re misunderstanding her. She is speaking to young ladies – to women who are not in debt and planning to get loans for college, etc. Those who currently do not have any tattoos and are still virgins. She is warning them and giving them counsel: encouraging them to not ruin their feminine, soft, and delicate skin, to not go into debt because bringing that in a marriage is a burden and can get in the way of raising Godly children and from having any time to please their husband and being a keeper at home, because they’ll be working trying to pay off their debt and to remain pure before marriage – to be the women God created us to be for our future husbands. The way it should be. God’s way.

“Sister, if we read the article in the flesh, then it will surely offend us. But if we read it in the spirit, it should not cause us any offense. I am not a virgin (I was a very sexually immoral woman), and I currently owe some debt which I hope and pray I am able to pay off before marriage because it would be a burden for not only me, but my husband and future children as well. This article did not offend me whatsoever. Pure women, debt-free, and tattoo-free are definitely more attractive and more desirable to a Godly man. The reason that is, is because it’s the way God created us. It’s the way God wants us to be but sadly, many of us have sinned in those areas. However, that does not change the fact that following God’s ways is more attractive.

“Tattoos ruin the beautiful skin of a woman. God created us as feminine creatures with soft and delicate skin. Tattoos take that away but that is not to say we have not been forgiven. We are forgiven if we repent and no longer defile our bodies. But this is simply the truth. Also, that does not mean a Godly man will not desire you. It just means that having tattoos is less attractive because that is not the way God made us – with tattoos. The way God made us IS attractive; there is no denying that fact if we believe that everything He has created is GOOD.

“Entering into a marriage covenant in purity and becoming one flesh with only the man God gave us. It’s a beautiful thing – having no other soul ties. This article actually encouraged me to teach my future daughters that God’s ways are best and truly beautiful (which I wish I was taught when I was younger) and tell them about the consequences of following after the ways of the world.”

Stephanie to Laura: “No one is condemning you. I don’t know why you take offense to the article. A godly man may desire a woman because of her faith, despite her tattoos, debt, and lack of virginity, but he will never be attracted to her because of those things. Yet, a godly man may find a woman who has kept herself pure, her body free from worldly corruption, and free from debt attractive because it is evidence of her true faith.

“I plan to teach my daughters to think about how their actions will affect their future husbands. They are preparing to be wives and mothers. Fornicating, marking our bodies, and becoming burdened with debt (all unbiblical things) are not things that would have our future husbands in mind. You said that you teach young women, but aren’t you concerned that one of these young women might be emboldened to get a tattoo because you have one?

“I hope that you are careful to cover them so that you do not cause a sister or daughter in the faith to sin, without even knowing it. Maybe someone who sees you in this position and notices your tattoos says to themselves, ‘well Laura has one, so it’s not really so bad,’ and justifies their sin this way. Yet, if their godly mentor and teacher has kept herself pure in these things, she is a greater encouragement to the girls, because she is an example that with the Lord’s power, it can be done.

“A man who has been divorced and remarried can never be a preacher or a deacon in the church. Not because he is not washed and cleansed of his previous sins, but because he is a bad example. This is not condemnation, just the fact. Would you rather not put yourself in a position to cause others to sin? So yes, we still deal with our past in a way, but we are not to judge others according to the flesh. It would not be right to judge you by your tattoos and decide you were an ungodly woman but that doesn’t mean it’s attractive.”

Robyn: “I have a tattoo and bad pasts and I can use it all to show young ladies my regret and express to them not to make permanent decisions at a young age. And also express God’s perspective on these things. It also helps me to boast in my weaknesses. And the power of grace which dwells upon me. We can’t pretend the tattoos are invisible when they aren’t and we also must be realistic that the consequence of such sins do follow us into the future. Though they won’t go into heaven with us; we will deal with them beforehand.

“It’s like having several dads to multiple children. One can repent, but the fathers don’t go away and we must deal with what we have done. Our new spouses must also deal with this truth. I cover my tattoo and apologize when it shows. I also glorify God when the opportunity to speak the truth of God’s disapproval on tattoos and plant that seed when it happens. All things work together for the good.”

Beau: “Godly men prefer debt-free virgins without tattoos. I’m actually a godly man, and no matter how many times you tell yourself it’s not true, if you are without the humility to admit the truth to yourself, you might not be as desirable as you think.”

Chad: “I have a tattoo, was in debt when I married my wife, and was not a virgin and I 1000 per cent agree with the article. Every one of the items was my rebellion and sin against God and I just was blessed with my wife.”

In conclusion, I want all of you to not just take what I write and believe it all to be true. Search the Scriptures for yourself and find truth there. I am human and fallible. I don’t expect anyone to agree with me all of the time. I only agree with the Bible 100 percent! I try very hard to stay true and faithful to the Word of God. I have studied it for many years.

Along with teaching from the Word, I teach from my life experiences since I am 60 years old in a few weeks and have been married almost 38 years. I have raised four children to adulthood and now am enjoying being a grandmother. I am NOT the final authority on Truth. Only God’s Word is so please, be a Berean and study the Word for yourself so you can easily distinguish between truth and that which is not true. Make sure your convictions are based upon the Word of God.

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.
Acts 17:11

The Inner Vacuum of Emptiness

The Inner Vacuum of Emptiness

Many today feel a deep sense of emptiness so they try to fill it with drugs, sex, entertainment, money, and many other things. Why is this so common today? Dr. Archibald Hart in his book “Me, Myself, and I” has a good explanation.

Psychologically, this inner vacuum (feeling of emptiness) is exacerbated by a strange cultural paradox: the self in our time is expected to function in a highly autonomous and isolated way. As the defined norms for health, we ‘individuate’ and ‘differentiate’ very early in life. Most of us are forced to separate from the family, to stand alone, and ‘be ourselves’ by being sent to school.

Much of what we now see in clinical practice are not major aberrations of the mind, but rather disorders of the self – ranging from sexual identity problems, to feelings of being uncared for, or trying to escape one’s existence through various addictions. Most modern people suffer from a profound erosion of self-worth, interpersonal success, conflict, and identity problems.”

How can we expect to raise healthy children into healthy adults when most parents send their children off to schooling for most of their childhood and the children have to fend for themselves at young ages instead of being nurtured, trained, disciplined, and cared for by their parents in the safe environment of their home? How can we expect anything different from the results we are seeing in our culture when many children are being raised without a mother and father? What about children not being raised full time by their mothers but instead being raised by strangers who can’t possibly love them as much as their mothers love them?

It’s the parents’ job to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. It’s their responsibility to give them self-worth by giving them plenty of love and affection along with protecting them with boundaries and discipline. Many parents have abdicated this role to strangers and we, as a culture, are reaping bad fruit as a result.

How come when I encourage married couples to stay married until “death do you part” as God commands, do women have to swarm my Facebook post about them or someone they know being in an abusive relationship and are so thankful they got out? Why can’t they just leave it be and hope it encourages the many who are divorcing because they are not “fulfilled” or not “happy” or have found “their soul mate” who is not their husband, hopefully be convicted by what I write at least for their children’s sake? Am I not supposed to teach women to stay married until death to they part because some women have been or are in abusive relationships (yes, they need to seek protection)? I will continue to teach the truth of God’s Word and pray it will convict those who read it.

God tells us that His people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Many today who hate God’s ways aren’t having children but Christians still are. The problem is that many of these Christians then send their children off all day to be educated by those who hate God and His ways then lose their children to the world.

Women, we are a remnant and must live in obedience to God with His Spirit working mightily with us! We must stay married, bear children, and raise godly offspring as God has commanded that we do. Protect the remnant from the evil of this day and age. Read the Word of God instead of learning the wicked ways of this world.

Therefore shall ye lay up these my words in your heart and in your soul, and bind them for a sign upon your hand, that they may be as frontlets between your eyes. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Deuteronomy 11:18, 19

If God Loves Me, Why Am I Suffering?

If God Loves Me, Why Am I Suffering?

This post was written by a pastor friend of ours who wants to remain anonymous. I believe it will bless you!

It is hardly surprising that so many followers of Christ struggle with the reality of trials in their lives. The question is often stated this way: “If God loves me, why am I suffering as I am?”

There are a few misconceptions when we even ask such a question. The first misconception is that God owes you a pain free life. Hidden in that misconception is the perspective that we are such good persons we don’t deserve trials or difficulties. The Bible is quite clear that none of us are righteous, in fact, without regeneration by the Spirit, we are actually objects of God’s wrath.

So we need to dispel from our thinking that God owes us anything but His anger and His punishment for our sins. But the believer in Jesus should firmly fix into his or her thinking the wonderful truth that God is, by nature, a good God. God’s nature is goodness itself and all that God has created and all His ways and actions toward His children are always good and for our good. At no time does God ever act toward one of His children in a way that is not for His child’s welfare.

Someone will immediately ask how a good God could allow cancer to take away a loved one, or allow the cruelty of war to take away the lives of millions. Perhaps the most devastating loss is the death of an infant or child. How do we respond to such a devastating loss?
What we should not do is abandon our core belief that God is good. His ways are always right. Surely there are not just one or two reasons why God has taken a child from us, but a thousand reasons. We are unable to see into the future to understand God’s purposes. But there are many comforting truths that can help us during the devastating times.

Is the trial you are undergoing causing you to pray more fervently? If so, is that a good thing?

Is the trial helping you to recognize your own weakness and your need of a Savior? If so, is that a good thing?

Is the trial reminding you that this life is short and eternity is long? If so, is that a good thing?

Is the trial making you long for heaven, to be dissatisfied with this world? If so, is that a good thing?

And is this trial making you glad that Christ’s suffering at the cross was in order to ultimately rescue you from sin and suffering, death and hell? If so, is that a good thing?

The Bible makes clear, especially a passage such as James, chapter 1, that trials are for our good, sent by a good and gracious God. Trials are, in fact, what God uses to sanctify and perfect us. Don’t look upon trials as tragedies.

Instead, see them as heaven-sent by a God who always does what is good and right for our good and to make us increasingly like Him. In fact, thank the Lord for trials. They have been sent because He loves you and knows what is best for you you both now and for eternity.

And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28

Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

Men Prefer Debt-Free Virgins Without Tattoos

Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men? Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church. As believers in Jesus Christ, we need to live in a way that is pleasing to Him because His ways are the best. He calls debt a burden and urges us to live lives of sexual purity.

There are many more reasons why Christian young women should carefully consider whether or not they go to college, especially if they want to be wives and mothers someday. Secular universities teach against the God of the Bible and His ways. It’s far from what God calls women to be and do: it teaches them to be independent, loud, and immodest instead of having meek and quiet spirits.

One woman wrote me some more reasons that she thought of why women shouldn’t go to college. (I have added my thoughts in parenthesis.):

Men don’t want to marry a women with debt. Most of this debt comes from college. They would also prefer a woman who still lives at her parent’s house that has not had other relationships. Do those two things and you will be highly sought after.” (I’m not sure about men only preferring women who still live at their parent’s house and have had no other relationships since some young women have no choice but to live away from their families and some have had their hearts broken by men they thought was ‘the one.’ I would agree that most men don’t want to marry a woman with a load of debt! That isn’t right to bring into a marriage.)

If they go to college, they are unlikely to stay home raising their children to pay off the debt and use the degree they spent years on.” (I have seen this in many young women’s lives, sadly.)

The husband will need to take years teaching his wife the correct way to act, think, and live since college taught them every possible way that is wrong.” (Sadly, most young Christian women wouldn’t listen to their husbands since they’ve not been taught to live in submission to their husbands. However, it’s the older women who are called to teach the younger women biblical womanhood and most husbands have never seen it modeled in their lives so they wouldn’t know what to teach.)

They will start having babies later in life. That is if they can still conceive naturally.” (Is college worth having less children? I will never understand how women prefer careers over having precious babies.)

They lost a handful of years of experience learning to cook large meals and learning how to work in the garden. College kids don’t cook. If they do, it’s typically for themselves.” (Young women learn nothing about biblical womanhood or what it takes to run a home when they go to college. They don’t learn to serve others either. They learn the ways of the world instead.)

The list goes on. Churches don’t talk about it. They support the college kids (really adults) and the ‘working’ mothers.” (It greatly offends working mothers to teach women to be keepers at home.)

It’s very rare to find an 18 year old woman that continues to work and live at her parent’s house until she meets her husband. It’s pretty much a joke to all who do that.” (It’s actually protection for young women to live under their father’s roof until they get married, if they are able, and there’s nothing wrong with doing this if they want this protection.)

Your posts sound crazy to anyone who does not believe the Bible is true. Most girls have not read the Bible with their father (Ephesians 6:4) or husband to explain it to them (1 Corinthians 14:35). That part is important. Instead of learning it from their parents, they seek out books or movies on how to interpret the Bible which leads them down the wrong path.”

Young women, be wise in the path that you choose to walk on. Keep a long-term vision of your life and how you hope it will be someday instead of acting upon all of the “what ifs…?” that many will throw at you. Trust God with your life, study the Word, and take the narrow path that leads to life. Stay virgins until marriage, out of debt, and don’t get tattoos!

Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4

Stop Enticing Men!

Stop Enticing Men!

Written By Britt Williams

God hates unlawful nakedness. Practically speaking, this is why God gave us clothes: to cover our nakedness. Hence, God was the first tailor, clothes were His idea.

Modesty is especially important for women. Men and women are different. They think differently and are tempted differently in regards to the opposite sex. Generally speaking, men are more enticed by what they see, whereas, women are more moved by how they are treated.

And it came to pass in an eveningtide, that David arose from off his bed, and walked upon the roof of the king’s house: and from the roof he saw a woman washing herself; and the woman was very beautiful to look upon” (2 Samuel 11:2).

But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).

This is why Job said…

I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?” (Job 31:11).

For example, the pornography industry is infinitely more successful selling its filth to men than to women. Many women fail to take this in account when they consider how they dress. They don’t see it as a problem because they have no experience in the difficulties it can cause.

This, I believe is why women were addressed specifically in the New Testament concerning dress. All of the apostolic admonitions concerning apparel are directed toward women. This is not because Paul was a chauvinist, as the liberated women would have us to believe. Nor is it because men are free from the obligation to dress modestly, because they most assuredly are not. It is rather because immodesty in attire is more ingrained in the female carnal nature than in that of men.

Without a doubt, the minds of women are more taken up with fashions of dress than any other pleasure. This is clearly manifested by the billions of dollars spent every year on fashions and cosmetics. Dress designers make fabulous sums dreaming up new and exotic ways to reveal the female form in order to attract and stimulate the male passions. How else can one account for the absurd and even grotesque outfits that women gladly wear?

The strongest carnal drive in the man is the desire for power. The spirit of physical and mental competition begins very early in boys. That is why they push and shove and fight from their very childhood. However, as a result of the curse, a woman’s greatest carnal desire is to be desired by men. Thus, apart from grace, the moment that a girl enters puberty the opposite sex dominates her thoughts.

From that point on almost everything she does is, in some way, directed to entice men. Although there are exceptions, this is the general rule. And women instinctively know that men are easily lured by sex. Thus, Paul seems to be saying that all Christian women should be possessed of a certain sense of shame with respect to their bodies and that this shame should, in turn, produce a bashful and modest attitude toward attire. The woman who truly possesses this “shamefacedness” will be conscious that normal men can easily be tempted and that her body, if exposed will possibly be the instrument of eternal perdition to them.

…the attire of an harlot” (Proverbs 7:10)

Remember, harlots dress in a specific manner for the sole purpose of drawing attention to their bodies. Ladies, you should seek not just to be adequately covered but should also avoid clothing that accentuates the shape of your body.

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array.
1 Timothy 2:9

You can read the rest of the article HERE.

The Message’s Watering Down of Biblical Womanhood

The Message’s Watering Down of Biblical Womanhood

The Message’s interpretation of Titus 2:3-5:

Guide older women into lives of reverence so they end up as neither gossips nor drunks, but models of goodness. By looking at them, the younger women will know how to love their husbands and children, be virtuous and pure, keep a good house, be good wives. We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.

Compare this to the KJV:

The aged women likewise, that they be in behavior as becomes holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

The Message wrote “by looking at them (older women)” instead of “that they may teach the young women.” So older women don’t need to teach the younger women according to The Message. The younger women just need to look at the older women. Oh, right! I sure didn’t know how to love my husband by just looking at older women who had good marriages. I just thought they were married to better men than I was. I needed an older woman to TEACH me how to love my husband.

The Message leaves out a few words that the KJV uses such as chaste, discreet, good, and sober but I guess virtuous and pure can take the place of chaste. What about being discreet, good, and sober? Young women sure need to be taught these important qualities since I see many young women lacking them.

Then The Message changes “keepers at home” to “keep a good house.” Therefore, young women don’t need to have their lives revolve around their homes (“looking well to the ways of her household” as the Proverbs 31 woman was known for doing) but can have careers and do what they want as long as they “keep a good house.” I am sure most women much prefer this way to describe being homemakers instead of being “keepers at home” which is too restrictive in their minds.

The Message completely leaves out “obedient to their husbands” because this is offensive to women today just as being “keepers at home” is. These same women who get offended have no problems obeying their boss but there’s no way they will obey their husbands. Look, every institution has a leader and marriage is no different. God ordained husbands to be the leaders of the home for order and peace. Two leaders never work!

Wow, did The Message water down the final phrase! Instead of “that the word of God be not blasphemed,” the authors wrote, “We don’t want anyone looking down on God’s Message because of their behavior.” Blaspheme means to speak evil about. When young women fail to obey Titus 2:4, 5, their lives speak evil about the word of God. It’s a lot different than simply looking down on “God’s Message.” Make sure your lives don’t cause others to speak evil of God’s holy Word and please, don’t read The Message.

And if any man shall take away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part out of the book of life, and out of the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
Revelation 22:19

A More Likely Way That Leads to Marital Satisfaction

A More Likely Way That Leads to Marital Satisfaction

A few months ago, my dad listened to Gary Thomas on “Focus on the Family.” My dad liked what Mr. Thomas had to say so much that he bought Thomas’ book “A Lifelong Love” for all of his children and their spouses and all of his grandchildren and their spouses. I was the first one he gave the book to and I’m very skeptical about marriage books but this book is fabulous! Both of my sisters think it’s the best marriage book they’ve ever read, although I still believe “Created to Be His Help Meet” by Debi Pearl is the best marriage book for wives since it clearly explains their role in marriage.

We are going through this book in the chat room but I wanted to make chapter six into a post because I believe it is that good. The title is “A Monk’s Marriage.” I will give some quotes directly from the book but I encourage you all to buy it! It’s rich with great marriage advice.

Fourteenth-century Augustinian Canon Regular Walter Hilton mimicked many classical writers when he urged believers to pursue the spirit of detachment, to the point where we literally ‘put no kind of trust in the possession of any worldly goods, or in the help or favor of any worldly friend, but principally and entirely in God. For if he does otherwise, he binds himself to the world, and therefore he cannot be free to think about God.’

Isn’t it true that many marital arguments result from disappointment with our spouses? We want them to be something or do something or catch something and they aren’t or they don’t, and we feel sorry for ourselves. We really do want them to love us like God loves us.

But what if I sought a ‘monk’s marriage’? What if I decided that I would depend on God alone, expecting nothing from my spouse but depending entirely on God for all my needs, including emotional and relational needs?

Then, instead of resenting what my spouse doesn’t do, I’ll be overwhelmed (in a good way) by every little thing he does do. I’ll be filled with gratitude instead of resentment…expecting nothing, depending on God, and genuinely grateful for whatever my spouse chooses to bless me with.

I realize we can take this too far. God won’t fertilize your yard when your husband is watching the game. God won’t meet our sexual needs. There are duties that seem reasonable that we want our spouses to meet, but put this in another context: Do you expect a spouse who has a broken back to fertilize your yard? Do you expect a woman in a severe state of Alzheimer’s to meet your sexual needs? The time may come when your spouse simply can’t meet those ‘legitimate’ needs, and what will you do then?

Now, let’s ask if it’s ‘can’t meet those needs’ or ‘won’t meet those needs,’ does it really matter, as far as our call to love them is concerned? Aren’t we allowing them to hold our contentment hostage in either case?

Do I live to please humans, to be noticed by them and appreciated by them, or do I live to please God? Reread Galatians 1:10 and see how important this is. We think the problem is our spouses’ insensitivity, apathy, even cruelty. Time and again, both Scripture and the Christian classics point us back to our pride as the real enemy of marriage and Christlikeness.

What is more likely to lead to true marital satisfaction – getting a fallen spouse to change his or her ways, or changing your own focus so that you draw your affirmation from a God who never disappoints, never turns you away?”

For do I now persuade men, or God? Or do I seek to please men? For if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.
Galatians 1:10

Christo-Feminism Expanding in the Church

Christo-Feminism Expanding in the Church

This post was written By Anthony Wade

One of the more recent topics that is getting huge amounts of coverage is the move to expand Christo-feminism in the body of Christ. It seems at every turn someone else is writing a new book or slew of articles decrying the male-centered order that God establishes clearly in His Word as being somehow oppressive to women. Using any means to discredit God, these proponents will throw as much spaghetti against the wall as possible in the hopes that something sticks. One of the usual tactics is to mix apples and oranges. Consider this opening paragraph from the article from Dr. Eddie Hyatt:

“In honor of March being Women’s History Month, I am sharing a life-altering experience I had in 1991. This experience opened my eyes in a new way as to how God wants to use women in these last days when He is pouring out His Spirit on all flesh (Acts 2:17).”

This is what is known as a strawman argument. No one is saying that God does not, has not, or will not use women mightily. The verses Eddie highlights, however, have context he omitted. It says your daughters and female servants will prophesy. That’s it. It does not say that your women shall lead your men, teach your men, or have authority over your men and that beloved is what we are talking about.

Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. — 1 Timothy 2: 11-14 (ESV)

For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, the women should keep silent in the churches. For they are not permitted to speak, but should be in submission, as the Law also says. If there is anything they desire to learn, let them ask their husbands at home. For it is shameful for a woman to speak in church. — 1 Corinthians 14: 33-34 (ESV)

Beloved, these are clear instructive texts. They contain no ambiguity. They serve as cross references for themselves. The usual defenses are destroyed by the straightforwardness of the texts. Some argue that this problem was some sort of cultural phenomena occurring only at Corinth. Besides the fact that this notion is simply not in the Scriptures God went out of His way to say that “as in all of the churches.”

He even gave us His reasoning, because Eve was deceived and became a transgressor. This destroys the Christo-feminist argument that Adam was somehow right next to her giving silent assent to eat of the forbidden fruit. Then there is the tired argument that this was somehow just the thinking of a women hating Paul. Putting aside the fact that this would mean God did not write the Bible through the individuals He chose, the continuing context clearly indicates this was not the case:

Or was it from you that the word of God came? Or are you the only ones it has reached? If anyone thinks that he is a prophet, or spiritual, he should acknowledge that the things I am writing to you are a command of the Lord. If anyone does not recognize this, he is not recognized. So, my brothers, earnestly desire to prophesy, and do not forbid speaking in tongues. But all things should be done decently and in order. — 1 Corinthians 14: 36-40 (ESV)

He should recognize the things I am writing you are a command of the Lord! Yet the forces of Christo-feminism march on with seemingly more and more ridiculous reasons why they think we can ignore God on a subject He has spoken so clearly about.

Has God Called Women to Be Independent?

Has God Called Women to Be Independent?

Corrie, who loves the ways of the Lord, wrote a comment on my Facebook page supporting a post I had written. Then “Lauren” responded to her comment this way: “Yes, I’d love to be able to rely on a man and not contribute or make my own money to feel independent.” Corrie then asked the women in the chat room, “Why the need for independence? To be independent from your husband is to go against God. Even the connotation of independence seems to be in rebellion of the Bible. It’s like you are saying you need no one in life, not even Christ.”

A woman wrote to me the other day and told me she was proud of raising three independent daughters who will be able to take care of themselves financially, therefore, not be in need of husbands. Is this a good thing and something to be “proud” about? Is this how God requires that we raise our daughters and can any of you find Bible verses that commands we do this?

Here are the responses to Corrie’s comment from the wise women in the chat room:

Paige: It is definitely rebellion. And sadly it is due in part to our individualistic society. Everything is about self, whereas in other cultures, the emphasis is the family unit – mom, dad, grandparents, extended family.

Helen: Women today HATE to feel dependent on anyone. They want to make their own money so they don’t feel beholden to anyone or have to rely on anyone for their ‘bed and board.’

Molly: Yes, we are to be dependent on our husbands who are to be our heads. It is a safe and fulfilling place to be, however, it goes against what girls are taught today. Lori is counter cultural because she teaches that we are to respectful of our husband’s calling and role.

Lindsay: It’s silly to claim that a woman staying at home and caring for her home and children is not contributing. They’re assuming these things don’t count and only making money is a contribution. Yet caring for the home and children is a huge contribution. Someone has to care for these things, and if the couple doesn’t do them, they have to pay someone else to do them. Plus, no one is going to care for the children like their own mother, so there’s the quality of care to consider as well as the cost. When a woman stays home, she is dependent on her husband financially, but he is dependent on her to care for the home and children. That’s not a bad thing. It’s a good thing. A couple needs to depend on one another. If they aren’t doing that, why in the world are they married?

Katie: I think it stems from lack of trust. Also, so many of us have divorced parents or absent fathers, so because we couldn’t rely on our fathers for one reason or another, we mistrust men in general. Before I was saved, I had the same mistrust. I put all my effort into becoming financially independent, so I didn’t need to rely on a man. I achieved my goal but it felt so empty.

Taylor: If I’m not contributing, I wanna know why I’m so tired!

Jessica: My stepdaughter just said the same type thing. I’m sure her mother has drilled into her to never trust a man; you can’t depend on one. Society shoves it down everybody’s throat too. We live in a sad world.

Rachel: While growing up, it was drilled in my head that one should not depend upon a man. One should get a degree, and a man wouldn’t want to have a woman who was lazy. And where we live in California, even health and human services drilled messages through ads at the movie theater to teenagers that families need two incomes.

Likewise, growing up with a divorce rate of 50% – watching everyone’s parents getting divorced – it reinforces that message. Having the personal experience of losing my dad as a teenager to a heart attack, two friends in high school lost their dads to heart attack and aneurysm, then friends in college lost their dads to suicide (two different friends). There’s a lot of reasons why people do what they do, and why they have trouble trusting God. Some ideas are so ingrained into your consciousness, it takes God, faith, and a whole lot of courage to go against an upbringing and experience.

Likewise, I also have the added perspective of the life we are living…Not easy, but doable, and God has blessed us with all that we need. Truly amazing. I hope all women with the desire to have good, loving husbands who support them and the desire to have children may be so blessed by God, and I hope God may supply all their needs too.

Rachel: I’m not sure this woman, Connie, feels so obviously defensive. It would be hard to go through life distrustful in a marriage, feeling like one’s contribution were directly tied to a monetary contribution, and that the option to stay at home and be happy in a traditional role was not a possibility – either because the concept of marriage or trust in man is so broken or having a feeling of poverty in one’s life. What happens at the end of one’s life, when one is infirm and cannot work? Does their life become less meaningful or worthy of life? It’s a deep and painful question to deal with. I’d wish her well and pray for her.

Brittney: I’d be curious to know if this woman goes to work for a man. Does she not rely on her male manager to make decisions for her and tell her what to do? Where a SAHM makes many independent decisions daily for her family because her husband has entrusted her to do that. To me, the latter seems more “independent.”

Helen: People also mistakenly believe you are only “contributing” to the family if you bring hard cash into the coffers. Those other contributions to the family as Lindsay and others have talked about are equally valuable. It’s a sad day when only a paycheck equals contributing.

“The decline of the family as the primary haven in a heartless world, the growth of individualism, and the retreat from community loyalty and dependence have made it increasingly difficult for anyone to achieve an adequate sense of belonging in a hostile, fragmented world” (Dr. Archibald Hart).

Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.
1 Corinthians 11:9

Making Child Raising a Delight!

Making Child Raising a Delight!

There is a huge mistake going on among many parents today. They don’t want to say “no” to their children. They don’t want to correct them. They don’t want to discipline them or use the rod on their bottoms for disobedience. They don’t want to link sin and pain together. They want to be their children’s friend instead of their parent. They want their children to have “freedom of expression.” This is not raising children in wisdom; for God’s Word tells us to raise our children opposite of this foolish way.

“The rod and reproof give wisdom but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Proverbs 29:15).

“The rod and reproof give wisdom,…. Are the means of giving wisdom to a child, reproved by its parent with the rod; and of driving out foolishness from him, and of making him wiser for the time to come; he shunning those evils for which he was before corrected, Proverbs 22:15; So the children of God grow wiser by the corrections and chastisements of their heavenly Father, which are always for their good; and he is a man of wisdom that hearkens to the rod, and to him that has appointed it, and learns the proper instructions from it, Micah 6:9” (Gill’s Exposition).

I had previously thought that parents were not allowed to use anything but a hand to spank their children if they live in California but I was wrong. “Spanking your child with an object other than your hand is also legal, but it must not be excessive in relation to the circumstances which led to the punishment.” We are still allowed to use a “rod” on children anywhere in America as long as it does not physically injure the child. I pray this never changes since this is biblical! Spanking must bring short-term pain to a child in order to accomplish long-term gain.

“…but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame; a child that has the reins thrown upon his neck, is under no restraint of parents, but suffered to take his own way, is left to do his own will and pleasure; he does those things which his parents are ashamed of, one as well as another; though the mother is only mentioned, being generally most fond and indulgent, and most criminal in suffering children to have their own wills and ways; and so has the greater share in the shame that follows on such indulgences.” (Gill’s Exposition)

I have personally witnessed parents who do not spank and discipline their children. Their children grow up to have little to no self-control and live a life of destruction. They don’t fear sin because they weren’t taught to fear it as a child. Most of them have grown old with many regrets.

Yes, it’s usually the mother who doesn’t want to “harm” the child because women are more sensitive and emotional. I have also seen women interfere with their husbands’ discipline of the children and this is devastating for the children’s future. We must never be led by our feelings or emotions but live by the truth of God’s Word. The Lord knows that children need a rod when they misbehave because He knows the seriousness and the destructiveness of sin. The sooner parents nip this in the bud, the better for all.

“Correct they son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul” (Proverbs 29:17). We are commanded to chasten our children as God chastens us. Chasten means to inflict pain for the purpose of reclaiming an offender. We chastened our children with a “rod” when they were young and disobedient. It hurt and it worked! None of them would say they were physically abused and none of them are abusive as many proclaim of those who were spanked. Child raising was a pleasure for us since our children obeyed us and were pleasant to be around. They definitely brought delight to our soul!

“Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest,…. Ease of mind, satisfaction and contentment, freedom from all anxious thoughts and cares; the correction being taken in good part, and succeeding according to wish and design;

“Yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul; by his tenderness to his parents, obedience to them, and respect for them; by his prudent behaviour among men; by his sobriety, diligence, and industry in his calling; by his fear of God, and walking in his ways; than which nothing can give a greater delight and pleasure to religious parents.”

The pain of a spanking has to be greater than the joy of their disobedience. “I believe one of the reasons the Bible speaks so clearly about child discipline is that it doesn’t come naturally to most mothers. We don’t like to see our toddlers cry, and we don’t like to be the cause of their tears. But firm, loving discipline at this age saves many tears and much heartache later on.” (Helen Aardsma)

Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.
Proverbs 19:18