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Author: Lori Alexander

Their Affection For Each Other

Their Affection For Each Other

Last Sunday, our church held their service on the beach at Lake Michigan. We are in Door County, WI where we’ve come almost every summer since I was a child. My grandpa built a cabin up here in 1959 and then my dad built one right next door thirty years ago so we’ve always loved coming here.

During the service, there was an older man with long, gray hair in front of us sitting next to his wife who had long, wavy blond hair. I noticed that he was continually putting his hand on her back and around her waist. It was easy to notice how much affection he had for her. Her Bible was laying on the ground in front of her and was all marked up so I could tell she was a woman of the Word. When she sang, her arms were lifted high in the air praising the Lord.

When the service was over and they turned around, Ken asked if he was a part of the Gaither Band. I then remembered last week someone telling me that the young, tall handsome man who sings up front was one of the sons of Guy Penrod who sang in the Gaither Band and then it all made sense. The couple I was admiring was Guy and his wife, Angie!

I then found out that they have eight children! Many of them were standing right in front of us next to their parents; all of them were very tall boys. They have seven boys and one girl. There was a baptism after the service and I saw Angie come up behind Guy and wrap her arms around him. Anyone watching them could tell they have a strong and happy marriage.

It’s rare to see a couple interact the way they did and knowing they’ve been married a long time and have so many children makes it even more special. They are witnesses to all around them the value of having a good marriage and children. Their children are blessed being raised by parents like them. This shouldn’t be rare among Christian couples but it seems to be, unfortunately.

Guy wrote this on his Facebook page on his 30th wedding anniversary: “When Angie and I married almost 30 years ago now, we could have never known how much we would learn from one another about love, life, and God Himself. As believers, whether you are married or single, God has chosen to show us how He wants to relate to us by using the model of marriage.

Angie and I hope that you will press into the presence of God more each day of 2015, remembering that good communication done often, is the key to an ever deepening relationship of any kind. Love God, and each other, the way He says to and the rest falls into place! LOVE NEVER FAILS! (1 Cor. 13:8)”

Here is a video of them from 2006 and Guy said about his wife Angie, “She feels like she was put on this earth to be a mama!” Yes, the picture above is one I sneakily took of them after the church service. They are a beautiful family and I felt privileged to be able to have a small glimpse into their lives.

Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Proverbs 5:18

Not One Bible Verse Instructs Women to Have Careers

Not One Bible Verse Instructs Women to Have Careers

Of course, careers for women came from a godless, heathen world! There is nothing in the Bible that encourages or instructs women to leave their homes for hours every day, their children with strangers to raise, and go to a job. If there is one, I have never read it. Yes, there are some women in the Bible who made things in their homes and sold them like Lydia and the Proverbs 31 woman but not one left their home all day long with their children in the care of others and worked for a boss for five days a week.

Yes, some were midwives but they were at home unless they were delivering a baby. They didn’t keep office hours that kept them away from their family for hours every day. Priscilla worked alongside her husband making tents but again, this wasn’t in a factory where she had to be away from her home all day long. She was being a help meet to her husband. Deborah was a judge in Israel but it doesn’t say anything about her holding regular office hours, working for a boss, and nothing about her having children but she was referred to as the Mother of Israel.

Are older women, as written in the Bible, to be known for their careers? No! They should be known for bringing up children, lodging strangers, washing the saints’ feet, relieving the afflicted, diligently following every good work (1 Timothy 5:10) and teaching the younger women (Titus 2:4). There’s nothing about them having careers.

Widows are not commanded to go out and pursue careers. Their families are the ones who should care for them and if the widow doesn’t have family, then the churches are to care for the widows. (Notice 1 Timothy 5:4 states who in the family should care for widows; “children or nephews” not “children or nieces” – the female children would most likely be married and have husbands who would provide whereas the nephews should help provide, not the nieces.) This is how God set it all up for the provision of women.

Men are the ones in the Bible that God commands to be the providers. This is God’s perfect will from the beginning of time and He reminds us that His commands are not burdensome. Nothing is impossible with Him and if He wants women home with their families, He will provide a way. He instructs us to ask for wisdom and He will give it freely!

There are several problems I see with women having careers, even when they are single. After spending all the time and money in pursuing their career, it’s difficult to give it up once the children come along, if and when they do. Also, many husbands like the money their wives make and don’t want them to stop so they insist on their wives keeping the job even when it becomes a strain on the wife. Married women who don’t have children still come home exhausted after working all day. They don’t have the energy to care for their homes or husbands like they would like to do, unless they are high energy women.

I believe one of the main causes of divorce today is due to women having careers. Women put all of their time and energy into their careers and neglect their husbands. They were created to be their husband’s help meet but they fail to do what God has called them to do because they can’t do everything and are too tired and exhausted to be helpers to their husbands. This is a recipe for failure and marriage is important to the Lord so it should be a priority for us; for marriage is an example to a lost world of Christ and His Church! Plus, when women have careers, they know that they have the freedom to divorce their husbands since they aren’t dependent upon their husbands for provision but God created wives to be dependent upon their husbands. This is a good thing, contrary to popular opinion.

Women who have careers typically have to work for a boss and the boss is usually a man, therefore, she is living in submission to a man who isn’t her husband which is not God’s plan. Plus, women don’t have the physical makeup that a man has and God created women with a more sensitive and emotional nature in order to be home with their children and/or caring for others, not out in the workforce.

What about single women who never get married? God’s instructions to them are to be holy in body and spirit. No, they don’t have to live underneath their father’s authority their entire lives. I know there are some who believe this but I don’t see this being instructed in the Bible although for protection and provision it is a good idea. She does need to know about the dangers of pursuing a career in case she does eventually get married.

But what about the women who do remain single their entire lives and don’t get married? What if careers are causing many more women to not get married since they don’t “need” a man to take care of them? What if this pursuit by women for careers makes them unattractive to men since they become forceful and independent? God’s plan from the beginning is for men and women to marry. He created men to need a help meet.

Colleges and universities don’t help women acquire meek and gentle spirits. Quite the contrary! They teach them to be strong (apart from the Lord), independent (they don’t need a husband), speak their minds, and stand up for themselves which is completely opposite of what the Lord wants for women. They don’t teach them to be gentle, submissive help meets to their husbands or how to raise godly offspring. Neither do they teach them anything about godly womanhood; no, not even the Christian colleges and universities since they push careers on the women.

There are many things women can do who aren’t married without getting a job. Culture tell us that there’s only option for young women today but it’s not. The young, unmarried Duggar and Bates women take courses on-line, serve their families, go on mission’s trips, assist midwives, serve their communities, find ways to make money from home, and many other things that help others instead of pursuing careers which take them away from their homes. This seems the way it should be, in my opinion.

Women working have taken many jobs away from men. Men NEED to work. God created them to have jobs and this usually defines them, whereas women define themselves by their relationships. Men don’t have to take off time when they bear children, their children get sick (if they have a wife at home), and they don’t feel guilt leaving their children all day long like women do because women know deep down that they are the ones who are supposed to be home with their own children.

I believe all godly women need to live their lives as if they may get married and have children some day. The worse thing would be to pursue a college education, amass a large debt, and place this burden upon their husbands when they get married, thus continuing to have to work after having children to pay off their debt. This is insanity to me! There are too many women that tell me they want to come home but are unable due to debt, their living style is too high, or their husbands want them to work because they make a large salary.

Finally, we are to live our lives according to God’s Word, not culture’s path. Young women, prayerfully consider the path you want to take. I encourage you to study God’s Word (all of the verses pertaining to godly womanhood) and make your decisions from doing this instead of watching the way our society’s women are going which has only led to the destruction of our culture. Children grow up to be much more productive members of society when they are loved and nurtured by their mothers during their childhood.

Please, don’t ask me about women being nurses (Do you know how hard it is for women to be on their feet for twelve hour shifts?), teachers, dental assistants or having careers such as these. I can assure you that not all of the women in the world are going to go home full time by reading this post or my blog. There will always be plenty of female nurses and teachers since there are many women who have no desire to be home full time, many more who are not believers so they don’t care about God’s will for their lives, and others who are not convicted that they should be home for their families and not have careers. There’s no need to hyperventilate about it!

Thankfully, I am not the judge of the world. I am only teaching my convictions based upon what I have read in the Word and obeying what the Lord has instructed older women to teach younger women, namely, to be keepers at home so they won’t blaspheme the Word of God which is a terrible thing to do.

Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are ye not much better than they?
Matthew 6:26

Labor not for the meat which perishes, but for the meat which endures unto everlasting life.
John 6:27

Freedom From Depression

Freedom From Depression

Women are twice as likely as men to get depressed and studies have shown that not only are women more hormonal but we are much more relationship oriented. Women suffer depression over loss more easily than men as well. If they move to a new place and lose old friendships, they can easily get depressed. Those who were not close to their mothers, rejected by their mothers, had distant mothers growing up or lost their mother by the age of eleven years old have a much greater risk at being depressed than those who had a mothers who were kind, cheerful, affectionate, and engaged according to Dr. Brenda Hunter in her book Home By Choice.

“Depression is feeling inside, ‘I am unloved; no one will ever truly love me. Nothing will ever be good. These feelings are persuasive and powerful…Aaron Beck, one of the world’s foremost authorities on mood disorders wrote this: We feel the way we think, and when we are depressed, we think in illogical, self-defeating ways.”

Depressed women have a tendency to always be looking in their past which gives them a sense of hopelessness and their thoughts become distorted. “Burns believes that as we become aware that our thoughts precede – and determine- our feelings, and as we learn to control our thoughts, we can banish depression.”

Whenever a woman tells me she struggles with depression, I encourage her to be in the Word and renew her mind with truth. Learn about her identity in Christ and that her past is forgiven and forgotten. She is a brand new creature because of Christ’s work on the cross. Her past no longer has to define her. God tells us that He gives us a sound mind. He instructs us to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. He commands that we dwell on the lovely and the good. We can trust that the God who made us knows what is best for us!

“We remain in the darkness at our own peril. If we allow the darkness to engulf us, we may not be able to combat the inertia that sets in. We must learn to catch ourselves at the beginning of our downhill slide. As we monitor our self-talk, we fight back.”

Dr. Hunter encourages mothers to also find support groups. In our chat room, there are many women who don’t have any godly, support outside of our group so it’s good to be encouraged and supported by other women. “Women need other women. We wither in isolation; we blossom with nourishing friendships. We need our female friends in the good times of life, and we especially need them when we are grappling with the loss of a spouse, parent, or friend.”

Find a solid Bible teaching church with godly women to get together with when you can. Build friendships since women do need friends. Become best friends with your husband as far as it depends upon you. Learn to smile and laugh with him. Work hard at home. God created us to work and work is good for us! Discipline yourself to eat healthy and stop eating sugar and junk food. Get outside and exercise. Don’t allow your thoughts to define your life but take control of your thoughts and allow truth to define them instead.

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.
2 Timothy 1:17

Beautifying Her Home With Little

Beautifying Her Home With Little

Bernard O’reilly shares in his book from 1886 titled The Mirror of True Womanhood a story of a young wife who had a husband who was very prosperous in his business. They had six beautiful children and she was known for her kindness and cheerfulness. Her husband’s business, unfortunately, took a dramatic turn for the worse and he was nervous about telling his wife about it.

Many of his friends offered to give him money to support their lifestyle but when he told his wife about it, she told him it would be wiser to sell their home and all of their expensive furnishings and rent a small cottage rather than be in debt to others. He was pleased with her idea so this is what happened.

“But what was the astonishment of friends and relatives, when, after a few days of pity or wonderment, they called on the brave little woman in her new home, to find so fair, so bright, so beautiful! The carpets were plain, it is true, and the furniture was of the commons kind; but chairs and sofas and ottomans had been covered with a chintz so pretty that no one stopped to inquire what was beneath the covering…and the little mistress, with her sunny smile and merry laugh, and the warm hospitable welcome for every friend and acquaintance; and there, too, were the rosy children, as unconscious of any change of fortune.

The little ones saw no change around them, save that the light of their mother’s smile was even more sunny than ever, that she loaded their dear father with fonder caresses and called forth from his big heart louder bursts of joy and mirth, and that she had been busier than ever with her active hands and restless needle in transforming and beautifying the face of things in every room with the smallest possible expense.

And so the happy nestful increased, and the husband rose higher in public confidence and in his noble profession, while his wife bestowed her whole care on the lovely children, whom she educated herself in every branch of learning and in every accomplishment necessary or suitable to their position.

Limited as was their income, neither the husband nor the wife ever bestowed a thought on the expenditure consequent upon such an unbounded and uninterrupted hospitality. The little wife managed to have a bountiful table at all times, never an extravagant one; and thus she never once allowed her household expenses to go beyond her means. What made her table, her drawing-room, the whole atmosphere of her home so full of an undefinable charm, was the love, the innocence, the paradisaical purity and charity which parents and children shed around them.”

May we all aspire to be like this godly wife; for godliness with contentment is great gain.

Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
Proverbs 31:30, 31

Careers for Women Came from the Ungodly, Heathen World

Careers for Women Came from the Ungodly, Heathen World

This post is from a YouTube by Traditional Catholic Faith and Morals. It is biblically accurate and worth sharing. I took snippets out of it so it’s not the entire video.

A stay at home mom is often viewed by career women as being a slave, a victim, and having no life.

Many feminists view children as a nuisance, a hindrance to personal success; thus, many blinded women have chosen not to get married, not to bear children and not to guide the house. These ideas are evil.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

God never intended for women to pursue careers at the expense of motherhood. God intended for women to be keepers at home.

To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:5

God wants young women to be keepers at home – baking, cooking, sewing, doing laundry, teachers of her children, taking care of family business, and being a help meet to her husband anyway she can. That’s why God created the woman – to help her husband.

And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
Genesis 2:18

The idea of a woman having a career came from the ungodly, heathen world and not from the Scriptures. God never intended for women to be executives, cops, helicopter pilots, lawyers, realtors, soldiers, etc.

Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
1 Timothy 2:15

Modern apostate society treats women just like men, as a consequence, women now act like men.

Many people see no harm in women pursuing professional careers, but when it comes down to reality these types of women act and think like men.

They are decisive, strong-willed, tough, loud mouthed, demanding, dominant and lack the biblical traits God desires in a Christian woman.

She is loud and stubborn; her feet abide not in her house.
Proverbs 7:11

(Yes, this is a verse concerning prostitutes but many women are prostituting themselves on the idol of feminism and unfortunately, many are sexually promiscuous and acting like prostitutes as well.)

A career woman is very far from what God intended for her to be.

She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

Feminism is a “social movement” that demands it all. It makes us like men. It makes us infertile, frustrated, unhappy, and empty inside. There is no true happiness in feminism. It is against our own nature!

Women will only find true freedom when they believe in Christ and submit their lives to God’s holy law.

For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; and they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
2 Timothy 4:3, 4

Good or Brawling Wife? It’s Your Choice.

Good or Brawling Wife? It’s Your Choice.

We all have the freedom to choose whether or not we will be a good or bad wife. Each morning, we wake up and can decide if we will control our emotions and feelings or not. We can choose to be thankful or complain. It’s our choice and as godly women our choice should be to please the LORD in all that we do by walking in the Spirit instead of the flesh. The Bible gives us examples of good and bad wives. May we learn from these to put on the good and take off the bad.

Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD (Proverbs 18:22). “Whoso findeth a wife,…. A good one; … even a good-natured one, wise, prudent, careful, and industrious; a proper helpmeet, a virtuous woman; whoso seeks after such an one, and finds one, especially one that has the grace of God, which he should seek after among his friends, and by their assistance, and by prayer to God” (Gill’s Exposition).

Would your husband say that he has found a good thing in you? Would he call you good-natured? Are you “naturally mild in temper; not easily provoked” by allowing the Word of God to guide your lives and not your emotions or circumstances? We must learn to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry; for anger does not accomplish the righteous life that God desires. Most husbands would love being around a good-natured wife who doesn’t get easily offended, accepts him as he is, and doesn’t try to control or manipulate him.

The contentions of a wife are a continual dropping (Proverbs 19:13). “The quarrels of a wife spoil a man’s happiness, like perpetual droppings, which wear away what they fall upon (Benson Commentary). Are like rain continually dropping upon a house, which by degrees marreth the house and household stuff, and driveth the inhabitants out of it (Matthew Poole) Such are the contentions of a peevish, ill natured, and brawling wife, who is always scolding” (Gill’s Exposition).

A wife such as this one is miserable for her husband to live with. She is not content, unhappy, and never thankful. She is selfish because she only concerns herself with her needs and desires. She is controlling and argues about every little thing.

House and riches are the inheritance of fathers: and a prudent wife is from the LORD (Proverbs 19:14). “A prudent wife is from the Lord; one that behaves well to her husband, manages the affairs of her house with wisdom, and brings up her children in all orderly manner: such a wife no man has from the care and provision of his parents; nor so much from his own good choice and industry as from the kind providence of God, to which he should ascribe it; his parents may give him houses and lands, but it is God that gives him a wise and discreet woman to be an helpmeet to him” (Gill’s Exposition).

Did the LORD give your husband a wise and discreet wife in you? Are you careful with his money and treat him with kindness? Do you spend a lot of time training and disciplining your children in the ways of the LORD? You have a big responsibility, women, and it must be taken seriously. Your children and husband depend upon you to look well to the ways of your household and not eat the bread of idleness. Don’t grow weary in this work the LORD has given you; for in the end, it produces beautiful fruit!

It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house (Proverbs 21:9) and repeated in Proverbs 25:24. “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop,…. The roofs of houses in Judea were that, encompassed with battlements, whither persons might retire for solitude, and sit in safety: and it is better to be in a corner of such a roof alone, and be exposed to scorching heat, to blustering winds, to thunder storms and showers of rain, than with a brawling woman in a wide house; large and spacious, full of rooms, fit for a numerous family: or, “an house of society” (u); where many families might dwell and live sociably with each other; or a house where a man, his wife and family, might dwell together, and have communion with each other; it is opposed to the corner of the housetop, and the solitariness of it; as the scolding of the brawling woman, or “a woman of contentions”, who is always noisy and quarrelsome, her violent passions, her storming language, and thundering voice, are to the inclemencies of the heavens, to which a man on the housetop is exposed; and yet these are more eligible than the other” (Gill’s Exposition).

Brawling means to quarrel. God does not want us to quarrel. He wants us to be at peace with each other and this is why He designed for the man to be the head over his wife and the wife to submit to her husband. When couples are following His prescription for them, there is peace. There is one decision maker who is the leader and one follower. It’s perfect and it brings peace with no arguing.

Whenever I hear from a woman who tells me that they argue a lot, I tell her to stop. As she argues with her husband, she is sinning by not being under her husband’s leadership. She needs to learn to state her opinion and then let it go without arguing her point. It is better to not get her way, live at peace with her husband, and allow him to make the decisions than getting  her way, living in turmoil, and disobeying God.

 Don’t lecture or scold him, which is easy to do, because you aren’t his leader. If you are prone to “violent passions” or “storming language” or “thundering voice” you need to be in the Word daily and allow Him to transform you into a godly woman who has control of her passions, language, and voice. Stop watching disgusting TV shows because bad company corrupts good morals and instead dwell on the lovely, the good, the pure, and the holy. Fill your mind and home with good things.

My sister told me she never watches the news. While she is in the kitchen baking bread and preparing meals, she prays over those she is preparing it for. When she is washing dishes, she praises the LORD for hot water and dishes to clean for her loved ones. She doesn’t want anything to steal her peace. She understands that politics isn’t her life; Jesus is and giving Him glory and praise throughout the day. She is building up her home and walking in the Spirit.

My Mom isn’t doing well but yesterday, she told me that Philippians 4:8 is her favorite verse. She has never been much of a complainer. She has always loved taking care of her home and family. She knew it was right where she is supposed to me. And now, she loves my dad deeply. They hold hands and praise each other often. Growing old together is a treasure that way too many women are throwing away these days. Build your homes up, women, by searching the Scriptures on how to live your life instead of learning from our decayed culture.

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.
Philippians 4:8

Too Many Angry Wives

Too Many Angry Wives

Older women are to teach the young women to love their husbands. This does not come naturally nor easily for most women. They look and act their best before marriage but after marriage, many no longer care about looking or acting their best for their husbands. Instead, they spend their time being angry and upset with their husbands because their husbands are not living up to their expectations and the wives fail to realize that love is a commitment and an action, not feelings or emotions based.

Jamieson Commentary wrote this about Titus 2:3: “That they (the older women) school (admonish in their duty) the young women to be lovers of their husbands, etc. (the foundation of all domestic happiness).” Older women are to admonish (instruct and direct) younger women to be lovers of their husbands since this is the foundation of all domestic happiness. (I had to repeat this because it is a profound statement and if women believed it and acted upon it, their marriages would be dramatically changed for the good.)

I know that all those years when I was continually upset with Ken, I was not a happy person. Nothing is right in our lives when there is strife with the person we are one flesh with and now that there is no strife in our marriage, life is much happier and more enjoyable for both of us!

The problem with most women is that they spend their married years being mad and upset with their husbands. Why is this? Why do so many women spend so much time and energy being angry with their husbands? I asked the women in the chat room and here is how some of them responded.

Debbie: We are trained with every book, show on television, and movie to be ‘our own women’ and no one tells us what to do. We are also trained to think men are stupid, weak, and in need of manipulation through our feminine wiles. When we get married with this secular, sinful mindset, it’s easy to stay mad, because men just aren’t naturally wired to obey everything we want. Even when they don’t know it, they want to be in charge, and when we are the bosses, nothing will ever be truly peaceful.”

Robin: “Anger boils down to I’m not getting what I want when I want it, and I’m mad about it: whether it’s husband or wife. People can be angry at God, misplacing the blame on Him for giving them this spouse to begin with. (“Lord, the woman YOU GAVE me…”) is the oldest example of this fleshly response. Women can often misplace their Source, trying to make their husband the source instead of CHRIST, THE SOURCE of all for women.

Anger is fear: fear is the satanic anointing opposite of Love, Who is Christ. When someone is angry, they are fearful underneath the anger. Basically this indicates a lack of trust in God in whatever the area of anger is manifesting. There is a righteous anger, at evil. Even if a woman’s husband is actually enslaved by evil, it is possible to redirect the anger to the real source, hell, and have compassion for the husband while she wars for his freedom from a place of compassion, as Jesus did.”

Sarah: “I agree with what other ladies have have said. It seems many of us from the day we are born are taught to be independent and not let a man tell us anything! We also have all kinds of media that tells us what love *should* be and causes expectations which are not met then we get upset because our husband is not textbook romantic or some other quality.” 

Expectations, selfishness, desire to control, fear, and bitterness are all of the reasons why many women live in a state of constant anger towards their husbands. How does a woman give all of these up and change into a woman who truly loves her husband? She confesses it to her husband and asks for his forgiveness. This is the first step to getting rid of sin in our lives. Once it is recognized for what it is and then exposed to to the light, it has a hard time of continuing.

Then practice being loving towards your husband. Every single time a negative or critical thought about your husband comes into your mind, kick it out and replace it with something good. Don’t allow it to take hold of your thoughts. Keep practicing not allowing yourself to be angry with your husband and over time, you will one day realize that you are no longer angry with him at all and that your marriage is bringing you both happiness!

For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.
James 1:20

Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.
 
Ephesians 4:31

Making It Easy For Your Husband to Not Lust

Making It Easy For Your Husband to Not Lust

Written by Trey 

It is possible for a Christian man to train himself and his eyes to not look at and lust after another woman but I will tell you the best way that a wife can help her husband to win in this never ending battle. By being obedient to scripture, she actually can make it easy for him to not be tempted to look at and lust after other women. If she is disobedient to the scripture, she makes it much more difficult for him to win this battle. Wives, you were created to be a helper suitable for your husband. Here is one of the primary ways that you were created to help him.

1 Corinthians 7:3-5 – The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Proverbs 5:18-19 – May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer— may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be intoxicated with her love.

A wife should absolutely make it one of her highest priorities to keep her husband 100% sexually satisfied at all times. She should do this by visually pleasing him (your husband takes pleasure in seeing you in various states from all the way clothed to completely naked and every way in between), physically satisfying him (sex in all of its lawful forms), and emotionally nourishing him (your arousal, participation and response). All of these are critical. Your husband should sexually want for absolutely NOTHING…. ever, as long as you are not Providentially deterred (injury, sickness, etc.).

By doing this, you will make winning this battle (against lust) for your husband infinitely easier (almost effortless in most cases). Failing to do your “duty,” will make your husband’s life much more difficult (miserable) and he will be unnecessarily forced to (wastefully) expend energy to win the (never ending) battle against lust that he could be (gainfully) spending on other things, like serving the Lord, ministering to others and loving, caring for and nourishing you and your children.

Wives, you hold the keys to so many of the riches and blessings that can come from a Godly marriage if you will just choose to be obedient and do it.

Ken’s additional comments on this subject:

Trey is speaking of an important Biblical truth that has been lost in many Christian marriages. Regular intimacy two to three times a week is God’s prescription to vaccinate a marriage against infidelity and porn. The gift of a sex drive that God has been given to create closeness between husband and wife is often trampled upon by long hours at work, stress, and the challenges of every day life. For this reason, the spouse who wants sex needs to say so, and the other spouse oblige in as timely a manner as possible, just as God has proscribed.

If a spouse is withholding regular sex, they are living in sin and selfishness; barring injury, sickness or extraordinary circumstance. I am not talking about the occasional headache or “not now honey,” but the regular denial of sex that violates one’s wedding vows to love and serve the other. It’s easy to mistake that such sins only affect the bedroom when in reality they affect all of a marriage and family life. It is true that each spouse must own their own sin, and withholding of sex can never be justification for the sins of fornication by the offended spouse.

But when Christian couples are not doing things God’s ways, Satan can take the stronghold and wreak havoc on a marriage and in turn the entire family. How many children are gravely harmed by a mother who refused to love dad the way she promised she would on her wedding day, or dad who felt betrayed seeking sex elsewhere, only to find that the fleeting moments of sex has destroyed his family?

Thank you, Lord, that even in the midst of our disobedience to the Word, you beckon us to quickly return to your will and ways, and from the ashes of our sins you can and will redeem us! Wife or husband, if you are withholding sex, or into porn, don’t walk, but run to the one you have harmed and beg their forgiveness. Find joy in serving your Lord and in turn honoring Him at His Word. He will then honor you, and not turn his back on you in the day of judgment.

Do not be one of those “christians” who go to church every Sunday arms in the air and singing His praises all the while carrying hidden rebellion in your heart. For sin and Christ are not compatible, and God’s blessings are not derived from sin but from living out righteousness from our love for God.

 Choose you this day whom ye will serve; but as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.
Joshua 24:15

Feminists’ Leaders Had Terrible Mothers

Feminists’ Leaders Had Terrible Mothers

Did you know that the modern feminist movement began with three women who had terrible childhoods. “How ironic that these three intelligent women (Betty Friedan, Germaine Greer, and Gloria Steinem), none of women is currently married, have so influenced our current notions of family and motherhood” (Dr. Brenda Hunter).

In the chat room, we have been discussing the book Home By Choice by Dr. Hunter. If you ever want to be convinced of the value of mothers at home with their children, I encourage you to buy this book and read it carefully. Dr. Hunter was raised by a single mother and tells of the fear and loneliness she felt growing up without a mother at home most of the time.

She also explains how children need a mother at home whether they are an infant or a teenager. The infant needs all of their needs taken care of and the warmth of a mother to bond with and a teenager needs a mother at home to guide and encourage them through the turbulent teenage years.

A mother at home is a steady, comforting presence for her husband and her children. But she must be a wife and mother who is actively involved in their lives and looking well to the ways of her household. She must be willing to take time to listen to them, look them in the eyes, and show them plenty of love and affection.

In her book, Dr. Hunter shares that when children don’t have a mother at home, there is a much greater possibility that they will become involved in sex, drugs, and alcohol. I saw this happening to the peers in my high school who had working mothers. Their lives seemed aimless and empty so they filled it with things that harmed them. I never wanted to do any of those things because I knew it would hurt my mother badly and I loved my her deeply. She was there for me my entire childhood and thus, I grew up to be loved and secure.

Yes, the three major women who began the modern feminists movement came from broken homes and had distant mothers. They had never experienced a warm and loving mother with intact parents. Yet, they were used by the enemy to cause dissatisfaction among millions of mothers who left their homes and gave their children the same lonely childhoods that these three women experienced. Tragic.

Go home, mothers, and nurture your own children. If you are a single mother or widow, ask the Lord to make a way for you to go home since your children need you there regardless of your circumstances. Trust God and then step out in faith believing that He will provide what He has commanded.

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried:
he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.

Psalm 18:30

To Warrior Wives of Straying Husbands

To Warrior Wives of Straying Husbands

Written By Robin Jennifer

I just want to encourage any wife who is standing for her marriage in the face of infidelity. Personally, I know the pain, as this is why I divorced my first husband twenty-three years ago, (and at the time, in my ignorance, I felt completely justified). He went on to marry The Other Woman (or the “strange” woman, as the Bible calls them) after our divorce was final; I may never know if he may have chosen differently had I chosen to stand in faith for our marriage restoration. The LORD has redeemed the years that the locust ate, in many ways, yet my adult son still suffers from our choices.

Ladies, if you are standing for your marriage, trusting the LORD to use you to be a minister of reconciliation, may I offer suggestions for what NOT to do, and what TO do, as you stand:

1. Resist insecurity. He isn’t with her because you are a failure as a wife, or because she’s prettier, or sexier, or better in bed. He isn’t with her because you are less than her. He isn’t with her because you are boring. He is with her because he has been ensnared by the LIAR and is being used by the THIEF to try to steal your marriage. Period. It’s not about you. So, turn your thoughts to rescuing him: ezer (ancient word used in Bible for helper (wife) means, according to Rabbi David Freedman, the word ezer is a combination of two roots, meaning “to rescue/to save” and “strength”. The Hebrew word ezer is a combination of two roots: `-z-r, meaning “to rescue, to save,” and g-z-r, meaning “to be strong.” So, be strong for your man and “rescue” him from the snare of the fowler by cooperating with the Spirit of God within you. Kenegdo (the second word in “help meet”) means “corresponding to him”, “suitable to him”. So, think of yourself cooperating with Jesus to rescue/save/be strong for your husband, as YOU are the one God made to be suitable for this job for him! What an HONOR and privilege! The LORD is your security; your Strong Tower and place of Refuge as you are rescuing your husband.

2. Tame your tongue. The power of life and death is within the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). NEVER speak insecurely or victimized around your husband. You ARE more than a conqueror in Christ! Take these thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ immediately. IF you are tempted to say, “I just want you to love me like you love HER!” or “I see the way you want her – why don’t you want ME that way?”, TOSS those thoughts BEFORE they become words. Remember point one: you are STRONG, and working as rescuer for him, and God is YOUR rescuer when your husband needs you to be strong.

3. Bless your husband whenever possible. The word for bless is eulogeo, from which we derive the word “eulogy”. No one ever speaks poorly of another in a eulogy; we are to “speak well of” the one who is “despitefully using you” and “persecuting you”, separating the person from the principality trying to bind them to wickedness. Further, bless the other woman. Do not speak poorly of her; pray the Word over her life that she might enjoy salvation. This is loving her with agape love. Oh, you can do as Jesus did and curse the root and fruit of the (lust-based) relationship, and trust that it WILL dry up and die (the sinful relationship), just as the fig tree that Jesus cursed (Matt. 21:19). But when speaking of the other woman, to curse her is to cooperate with the adversary instead of cooperating with the Holy Spirit. This can only be done by His power and strength in you, but He is well able to empower you by His limitless grace! The LORD is your Source of the Word of blessing, even as you feel cursed. Remember point two, and SPEAK LIFE!

Be encouraged, Warrior Wives of straying husbands. The LORD is your Salvation as you war in rescuing strength for your husband’s salvation! The LORD is your Helper (John 14:26) to contain your thoughts and tongue, teaching you all things as you wisely navigate these waters. The LORD is your graceful Source of LIFE and blessing, giving sweet and Living Water flowing out of you toward your husband, and even the other woman, as a minister of reconciliation!

The LORD shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace.
Exodus 14:14