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Author: Lori Alexander

Dangers of Nail Polish and Nail Polish Remover

Dangers of Nail Polish and Nail Polish Remover

My mom was raised during and right after the Great Depression. Foods weren’t sprayed with toxic chemicals back then and the meat and dairy were from animals that ate what God created them to eat and lived how God created them to live (not crammed into small places). She grew up with four sisters and two brothers and my mom was the one who was most health conscious. She mostly ate organic food and was basically healthy all of her life until she was 80 years old.

A few years ago, she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma. It is a cancer that forms in a type of white blood cell called a plasma cell. Plasma cells help you fight infections by making antibodies that recognize and attack germs. Multiple myeloma causes cancer cells to accumulate in the bone marrow, where they crowd out healthy blood cells.

We’ve been trying to figure out how she got cancer since she lived to prevent it. Yes, we know there are no guarantees in life but after reading and studying about the dangers of nail polish and nail polish remover, we think we figured it out. She had her fingers and toenails done for probably 30 years on a consistent basis. From everything I have read about it, it is something we should all avoid due to how toxic and dangerous it is. Having pretty nails isn’t worth getting cancer and cancer is usually in one’s body many years before it is diagnosed.

“One of the most insidious routes of solvent exposure and toxicity is through fingernail polish and fingernail polish remover. Young girls are especially susceptible to the toxic and xenohormonal effects of solvents, and yet they are the ones most likely to have a dozen different shades of fingernail polish in their bedroom…In addition, solvents can damage a developing fetus in very small amounts and should be studiously avoided in any amount by pregnant women. It should be required by law (and is in some states) that labels on nail polish contain warnings to pregnant women, and that beauty salons have warning sings in areas where nail polish is applied and removed,” wrote Dr. John R. Lee.

“Then they tested participants’ urine for levels of diphenyl phosphate, or DPHP, a chemical created when the body metabolizes TPP. They compared the results to urine samples participants had submitted before the experiment and found that while DPHP levels didn’t change very much in the participants who used gloves and fake nails, levels of DPHP increased sharply in the women who had received nail polish directly on their nails.” (source)

“‘Big job’ employees are veterans, experts at sculpting false nails out of acrylic dust. It is the most lucrative salon job, yet many young manicurists avoid it because of the specter of serious health issues, including miscarriage and cancer, associated with inhaling fumes and clouds of plastic particles.” (source)

Here is a list of all of the chemicals in nail polish and nail polish remover.

“Nail polish is likely the most toxic cosmetic there is. Polish includes poisonous substances such as formaldehyde, phthalates, acetone, toluene, and benzophenones. Phthalates, solvents for colors, are toxic to the nervous system; acetone and toluene, which keep the color in liquid form, evaporate quickly and fill the air with noxious fumes, putting your respiratory system at risk. The other substance we fingered, benzophenones, may cause cancer.” (source)

Here are some better choices of nail polish but even with them, the author of this article wrote, “I’ve shared our top picks below but it is important to note that even these safer options still have some chemicals in them and I wouldn’t use them all the time.” I have decided to never use nail polish again.

We all know how toxic it is just by how it smells. Whenever I did my nails, Ken would ask me to go to another room because of the toxic smell. It doesn’t take research to figure this out but too many of us care more about our nails being pretty rather than the long-term consequences of it. All those years my mom was getting her nails done, she never wore anything over her mouth and nose to protect her from the fumes. Even then, the toxic chemicals entered her blood stream through her nail bed. Do most men even care about or notice women’s painted fingernail and toenails??? It’s not worth the risk, women.

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which isin you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.
1 Corinthians 6:20

***My mother doesn’t mind me using her as an example of what NOT to do. In fact, if it helps prevent others from making the same mistake, she is happy about it! She has had a good life and has many blessings. She gets teary-eyed just thinking about her family and all who love her. She is ready to go to heaven, though, and be with Jesus. In fact, she can’t wait!

Women Aren’t Wired to Be Providers

Women Aren’t Wired to Be Providers

Growing up, I always knew I wanted to just be a wife and mother. I never had any career goals even though we were “supposed” to have them. (Aren’t jobs or careers for men so they can provide for their families?) I had every intention of marrying a man who wanted me to have children and be the one home full time with them. I didn’t ever want to be the bread winner of my future family so I was careful about marrying a man who wanted the same things that I did. We absolutely talked about it before marriage and Ken was fully on board. He had every intention of being the provider for our family and thankfully, he has been for 37 years.

There are way too many women I hear about who are postponing marriage and having children for their careers. Then when they finally get married, their husbands want them to continue working since they make good money. Reality is proving that this isn’t good for marriage. Suzanne Venker wrote about this. “Nevertheless, the new reality of many women outpacing men educationally and sometimes financially has serious implications for marriage.” God created men to be the providers and women to be the keepers at home. This is His plan and nothing that men and women do today will every change this.

“In 2013 researchers from Washington University in St. Louis studied data from 200,000 married couples in Denmark. They found that when women earned more than their husbands, they were more likely to use anti-anxiety medications and more likely to suffer from insomnia. One might conclude from this study that women, as a rule, aren’t wired to be providers.”

No, God did NOT wire women to be men. He didn’t wire them to be the providers. Our hormones prove this. Our physical build proves this. Everything about us proves that this is not our role in society no matter how hard feminists have fought to say that it is. They will NEVER outsmart God and His plan for us. Never.

“Husbands, on the other hand, are emboldened when they take on this role. Men are made to provide and protect for their families. When they’re stripped of this power, it isn’t pretty. As just one example, a 2010 Cornell University study found that a man is more likely to cheat on his partner if he’s more financially dependent on her.”

Even though many men want their wives to continue working because they see dollar signs instead of a mother at home with her children, it harms the marriage since the husband is last on the totem pole for the wife’s attention. She only has so much energy and most of her energy must go to her work to keep it, then to her children, then her home, and nothing is left for her husband. It’s too steep of a price to pay for extra money. Way too steep of a price. Men have ten times the testosterone for a reason. They are the ones created by our Creator to go out and “slay the dragons,” as Dr. Laura always used to say. Many women who try to do this eventually suffer from burned out adrenals and ill-health.

“A record 25 percent of husbands are now marrying wives who have more education than the man of the house.”

Half of medical and dental school students are women these days. This is tragic for the women: for the men whose jobs they are taking away, for the lack of children they will be having, and for their future marriage. Stop the madness, women. Don’t pursue a high-powered career that makes a lot of money. Marry a godly husband who wants to work hard and be the provider.

“Hypergamy  (the preference of most women to marry ‘up’) doesn’t exist because women are greedy. (Well, some are, I suppose; but that’s a side issue.) It exists because pregnancy, childbirth and the needs of babies invariably make women vulnerable.” This is what God intended and there’s nothing wrong with it but everything right. Bearing and raising godly offspring while being keepers at home is what children, husbands, and this culture needs more than anything else.

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall beto thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
Genesis 3:16

And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life.
Genesis 3:17

She Looks Well to the Ways of Her Household

She Looks Well to the Ways of Her Household

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
Proverbs 31:27

“She diligently observes the management of her domestic business, and the whole carriage of her children and servants. Whereby he also intimates, that she spends not her time in gadding abroad to other people’s houses, and in idle discourses about the concerns of other persons, as the manner of many women is, but is wholly intent upon her own house and proper business” (Benson Commentary).

Taking care of our home and family are our greatest concern; for this is God’s ordained will for us – to be keepers at home. It’s not keepers of the home, but keepers AT home. “AT” means we are there AT home. This is where people will find us the majority of the time. This is where our work needs to be done. This is where we are to stay busy. There is a lot to taking care of a home and family. There’s always something that needs cleaning. Food needs to be fixed three times a day if you have children in the home. This isn’t supposed to be done with our left-over energy. No, it’s supposed to take all of our energy. Being a help meet to our husbands, a mother to our children, and a keeper at home is a full-time job and it’s perfect for us as designed by our Creator.

“The business of her house, her domestic affairs; that her children and servants have convenient food, and in due season; that they have proper clothing, and keep their garments close about them, and unspotted; that everyone does the business of his calling, her several officers, and private members; that a good decorum is kept, that all things are done decently and in order; that the rules of her lord and husband are observed; that the conversations of all in her house are according to the word of God, and becoming their character” (Gill’s Exposition).

As godly woman, our first priority is in pleasing our Lord and Savior. Whatever He instructs us to do, we do with His Spirit working mightily within us. Then we aim to please our husbands as our earthly lords. If they want the home to be kept a certain way, then we keep it that way. We learn to serve them cheerfully and willingly. Then we love and serve our children by disciplining, training, and teaching them all of the ways of the Lord and life. Since God is a God of order and beauty, let us strive to be women of order and beauty in our homes!

“As Almighty God, from His lofty watch-tower in heaven, observes all the minutest details of the manifold work that is going on in the busy hive of earth, so does she from her exalted position in which He has placed her, as mistress of the family, and as responsible to Him, observe ‘the ways of her household'” (Cambridge Bible).

A woman who works outside of her home cannot possible be over all of the “minutest details” of her home and family. This is imperative for mothers to do since it’s protection for their children. God has ordained mothers to watch carefully over their children and in order to do this, they must be the ones who are with their children continually. Children being sexually abused is rampant these days and it was probably not so common when mothers were home full time watching over their children. Mothers who are not keepers at home blaspheme the word of God (Titus 2:5). Yes, this offends many women today but I’m not the one who wrote this.

“She considers the ways of her house, because she accurately examines all the thoughts of her conscience. She eateth not her bread in idleness, because that which she learned out of Holy Scripture by her understanding, she places before the eyes of the Judge by exhibiting it in her works” (Pulpit Commentary).

She is not a different person outside of her home. No, the same person strangers see is the same person her family lives with. She is as patient and kind with her family as she is with others; for she lives to please her Savior and He sees everything! In order for her to live this way, she spends daily time at the feet of Jesus and learns His ways. She knows she has been given supernatural power (the Holy Spirit) to live this way so she trusts God to accomplish His work in and through her.

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Colossians 3:23

Are My Teachings Similar to The Handmaid’s Tale?

Are My Teachings Similar to The Handmaid’s Tale?

People who are blinded to the ways of the Lord have accused me of teaching things that are similar to those in The Handmaid’s Tale. I had never heard of this movie before so I read what it was about on Wikipedia and this is a portion of what it said:

“The authorities take Kate to a training facility with several other women, where she and her companions receive training to become Handmaids—concubines for one of the privileged but barren couples who run the country’s religious fundamentalist regime. Although she resists being indoctrinated into the cult of the Handmaids, which mixes Old Testament orthodoxy with 12-step scripted group chanting and ritualized violence.”

First of all, I am not a part of a “religious fundamentalist regime.” I am a born-again Christian who believes in the Bible which is the inspired Word of God. We are not forced to do anything and I do not force anyone to obey what I teach. We have freedom in Christ but our freedom is to be used to bring glory to the Lord in all that we do. The Bible is His Word and has everything in it that we need for life and godliness.

We are not a part of a cult. A cult is typically run by a man who abuses his power and makes people worship him and make him their idol. The only One we worship is the God of the universe. He demands nothing of us unless we claim to be His child. He has given us free will since He wants us to chose to love and obey Him. Love is not love if it is forced. Once we believe in Him, He adopts us into His family and we become His children, then we WANT to live in obedience to what He has commanded since His ways are good, right, holy, and pure.

We are living in the Church age so we are no longer under the Old Testament Law, thankfully. The Law was a cruel taskmaster since it exposed our sin, yet gave us no power to live righteous lives (Galatians 3:24, 25). This is why we needed a Savior, Jesus Christ, who fulfilled the Law perfectly for us, took the penalty for our guilt (for breaking the Law) as a sacrificial lamb, and was crucified for our transgressions. Now, all who believe in Him become new creatures in Christ and are given His Holy Spirit that lives in and through us. We will enjoy an eternity with Him where there will be no more pain, suffering, or sorrow. What a God we serve!

In Christianity, there is no “12-step scripted group chanting” or anything like this. We don’t need to do this since we have God’s Word that we can read, study, and be transformed by since it is living and active. It, along with His Spirit working mightily within us, makes us kinder, gentler, more loving, more sacrificial, and more like Christ. God doesn’t want us to have repetitive prayers (Matthew 6:7). He wants us to speak to Him in prayer as a Father who loves and cares about everything in our lives.

There is no “ritualized violence” in Christianity. The Handmaid’s Tale is a work of Satan, not God. The only ritualized violence I see is coming from those who are not Christians, like millions of babies being brutally murdered in the womb, other religions who believe they are rewarded in their false heaven for murdering people, and other horrible things like this. No, God condemns this kind of violence. Yes, He will have the last word on Satan and those who follow him but it will be in His timing and in His way. (Read the book of Revelation.) We are all promised that we will reap what we sow (Galatians 6:8).

I teach NOTHING even closely similar to The Handmaid’s Tale. Willingly choosing to NOT deprive our husbands of sex is not rape. Willingly choosing to submit to our husband’s leadership doesn’t cause abuse. Willingly choosing to be keepers at home instead of career women is a choice we are thankful to make since we love being home with our children and making our homes places of peace and beauty for our families. We much prefer this to fighting traffic, working in submission to a boss all day long, the stress of meeting deadlines, and being exhausted by the day’s end. No, thank you. We love what the Lord has called us to do. His ways are perfect.

For such are false apostles, deceitful workers, transforming themselves into the apostles of Christ. And no marvel; for Satan himself is transformed into an angel of light.
2 Corinthians 11:13, 14

Preaching a Sermon Without Words

Preaching a Sermon Without Words

“There are so few older, wiser women online and even fewer to be found where I live. I grew up in a very 50s like small town in Alabama where everyone knew everyone. The wives and mothers stayed home while their husbands worked. My own mother worked outside of the home so my sister and I were mostly raised by my grandmother. I watched that dear lady all throughout my childhood. She would wake up ‘in the dark’, as we would say, fix breakfast for me, my sister, my two cousins and my grandfather every morning. She would take us to school, pick us up from school, take care of us all afternoon, and then cooked supper for my whole family: my parents, my aunt, my two cousins (and whoever they would bring home), my grandfather, my sister, and me.

She cooked and cleaned all morning and crocheted in the afternoons. I would sit next to her in her chair as she crocheted blankets for all of us. I learned more about Christianity from her than any sermon I’ve heard and the thing is, she never said a word about it. She didn’t even speak that often, she just did. Her life was a giving life. She gave herself to us every day. I am so blessed to have had her set the example for me to follow. And I do follow. I am a stay at home wife and mother. I homeschool my children. I cook and clean and do laundry. It is wonderful.”

This is a comment by a young woman named Emily who wrote me. Other women have asked her to begin a blog and teach women what she knows since she is a wise young woman but she is only thirty seven and doesn’t believe younger women should be mentoring other women since the Lord has given this ministry to older women who have raised children and been married a long time, plus they have the time to do it. Unfortunately, there aren’t many godly, older women who are willing to take on this role. Thankfully, Emily’s grandmother took her mother’s place and trained her in godly womanhood by the way she lived her life but few are blessed with a role model in their lives like this and this is the reason for Titus 2:4, 5.

If you had a mother or grandmother in your life who was an example to you of godly womanhood, you are blessed! It’s not common in today’s feminist culture but I doubt it has ever been common since Eve decided to go over her head (Adam) and choose her own way believing that her way is better than God’s ways.

 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4, 5

NIV Gives Women an Out for Being Keepers at Home

NIV Gives Women an Out for Being Keepers at Home

Did you know that the NIV doesn’t use the word “keepers at home” in regards to married women’s role? No, they have redefined it as meaning “busy at home.” William Einwechter wrote an incredible article about the evolving quality that this term originally meant to the way it is used today. Many have mocked me for teaching that married woman should be keepers at home but I trust God knows what He meant when He instructed older women to teach the younger women this principle.

“Nonetheless, in accord with the spirit of our age that looks in disdain upon the notion that the sphere of a married woman’s work is her home, many in the church have rejected the earlier consensus understanding of ‘keepers at home.’ Instead, to be ‘keepers at home; is interpreted to mean that a wife and mother is ‘to be busy at home’ (NIV), i.e., she ‘should not be idle or derelict in fulfilling home duties.’ In other words, ‘keepers at home’ does not define the married woman’s calling or the sphere of her work, but is simply an admonition not to neglect her domestic duties. Therefore, a wife and mother may pursue a career outside of the home — as a lawyer, teacher, sales clerk, etc. — as long as she fulfills her responsibilities in the home.”

Then Mr. Einwechter gives a lesson on the Greek concerning the term “keepers at home” and it becomes very clear what God intended. “The Greek word translated ‘keepers at home’ is oikourous. This word is derived from two Greek words. The first, oikos, means a house, a dwelling, or, by metonymy, a household or family. The second, ouros, refers to a keeper, watcher or guardian, i.e., one who has the oversight and responsibility for something. Thus, the basic significance of oikourous is that of a ‘housekeeper,’ that is, one who watches over a household and family, seeing to it that all members are cared for, and all things maintained in good order. Oikourous is used only in the New Testament in Titus 2:5; therefore, in seeking to accurately discern its meaning we must look to the Greek literature of the New Testament era. There, the word oikourous meant watching or keeping the house. It was employed in reference to a watchdog who guarded a house, but more germane to the context of Titus 2:5, oikourous also meant keeping at home, and was employed as a substantive, ‘housekeeper,’ to indicate the mistress of the house. Furthermore, it was specifically used in praise of a good wife. Interestingly, oikourous is utilized contemptuously of a man who refused to go out to war, designating him a ‘stay-at-home’ man.

The verbal form of the Greek stem oikour-, oikoureo, meant to watch or keep the house. It was used of women to indicate those who were at home to watch over the affairs of a household, and of men to designate those who stayed at home to avoid military service. Other words based on this same Greek stem such as 1) oikourema, meant keeping the house and staying at home, and was used to refer to women as the ‘stay-at-homes’; 2) oikouria, referred to women as those employed in the work of housekeeping; 3) oikourios, meant the wages or rewards for the work of keeping the house, but also designated, significantly, keeping children within the doors of the house, i.e., keeping them at home.

On the basis of this word study, it is concluded that oikourous was primarily used in the positive sense to indicate both the nature and sphere of a married woman’s work. The nature of her work is to manage the affairs of her household, and the sphere of her work is the home. It is important to note that oikourous and its cognates all included the idea of staying at home. Therefore, we believe that the ‘keepers at home’ are those who stay at home for the purpose of managing their households.”

God definitely intended for women to be keepers at home and it means exactly what He said. He doesn’t need to use a lot of words to help us to understand better. He’s perfectly clear. “Thus the roles assigned to the married woman by God confirms that ‘keepers at home’ refers to those who remain at home so that they might properly attend to their duties of caring for their family and managing its everyday affairs. When her duties are understood in all their scope and significance, it becomes clear that only by being ‘keepers at home’ can a wife and mother fulfill her high calling from God to be a helper to her husband, a mother to her children, and a manager of her household.”

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4, 5

She is “Called” to Preach?

She is “Called” to Preach?

“Success isn’t big crowds but it IS bringing HUNDREDS upon hundreds of thousands of people to salvation through Jesus, it IS ABSOLUTELY helping to restore the broken and feeding the hungry – which is just what female preachers like Joyce are doing.

In Jeremiah 18:1-5, God presents Himself as a potter and us as the clay, where He easily molds us from one thing into another. Who are we to tell Him how He might use a person? Who are you to tell a woman that the blood of Christ which covers her isn’t the same blood which covers a man? Does the Bible also not say, ‘There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.’ – Galatians 3:28 NLT

What it really comes down to is, we are all servants of the Lord, and He can use us however He wants to. Why make someone apologize or feel bad about wanting to share the love of God just because they are a woman? Isn’t God still the One getting the glory either way? I’m sorry, but posts like these really anger me because Joyce has been serving God for over 40 years – attacking her character and ministry is just plain wrong.

I am proud to say I’m called to preach, been called since I was just 18 years old, and NO ONE is going to stop me from talking about my Jesus, and so far… my being a girl hasn’t stopped Him from using me.” – Kelly

This is a comment I received on my post about women preachers which is quite controversial in this day and age, as we might expect, since most of God’s ways are controversial in this wicked generation, even among Christians.

Years ago, I spent a few years listening to Joyce Meyer preach and I enjoyed her. She was funny and entertaining. She reminded me a lot of me since she was very rebellious towards her husband for years but then learned about submission. She clearly understands her new life in Christ and I agree with some of what she teaches but I saw the error in her teachings, too.

Joyce calls herself a preacher and uses the illustration of Mary Magdalene seeing the empty tomb and running back to the disciples to “preach” to them about what she saw. “They have taken away the Lord out of the sepulchre, and we know not where they have laid him” (John 20:2). No, relaying something one saw is not the same as preaching which is defined this way: “deliver a sermon or religious address to an assembled group of people, typically in church.” She knows very well that Mary Magdalene didn’t preach to the disciples.

Joyce preaches all over the world in churches, auditoriums, and stages set outside to audiences that are full of women and men. Yes, her husband sits on the front row but there’s nothing in the Bible that states that this makes women preaching okay. (Unfortunately, Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth believes the same thing. “Nancy does not believe that occasional teaching by women in mixed audiences is inappropriate, as long as two things are clear. First, that it is taking place under the headship of male spiritual authority.”)  There is NOTHING in the Bible that supports this belief.

Responding to Kelly’s comment, how do we know that female preachers are “bringing HUNDREDS upon hundreds of thousands of people to salvation”? Why can’t male preachers do the same thing since this is God’s way? Why do we NEED female preachers/teachers to directly disobey the clear teachings of the Word to accomplish God’s work, thus leading many other women astray by falsely believing that women can preach?

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.
1 Timothy 2:11-14

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.
1 Corinthians 14:34, 35

God couldn’t have been any clearer in His instructions to women! The verse about everyone being “one in Christ Jesus” from Galatians doesn’t wipe out these verses, Kelly. This verse means that every single person can have eternal life by believing in Jesus Christ; for we all have equal value and worth but different roles. We don’t need “to tell Him how He might use a person” because He has told us exactly what we’ve been called to do. His Word, the Bible, is living and active and has everything we need for life and godliness. Galatians 3:28 doesn’t wipe out all of the other verses in the Bible that explain male and female roles.

 “He can use us however He wants” but He’s also given us clear instructions, Kelly, and you are acting in the spirit of Jezebel. You are in rebellion to God’s ordained role for you. You were not “called to preach” since God doesn’t change nor contradict His Word. What He commanded through the writers of the Bible is still the same today. Jesus could have easily chosen a female disciple (apostle) but He chose twelve men. Priests in the Old Testament were all men and Elders and deacons are to be the “husband of one wife.”  

Yes, you can talk about Jesus with whomever you want and you should but this doesn’t mean you are allowed to preach in a church service where men are present and you are in authority over them; for you are to be silent. In fact, women are commanded to have meek and quiet spirits for a reason. What you are doing is shameful in God’s eyes; for it is a shame for women to speak in the church. I fear for women like you who make up their own bible and do as they wish. Please, repent and begin walking in the Spirit and in obedience to His will. 

Sweating Bullets While Teaching Submission

Sweating Bullets While Teaching Submission

If you read other biblical marriage blogs, you will see that most of them have warnings all over them about abuse and what submission doesn’t mean. If you notice, my blog doesn’t have this. I have written many posts about submission and never even mentioned the word abuse on most of them. I do this purposefully because abuse and submission don’t go together as many today try to do by twisting and perverting the beauty of submission. (Yes, I have a post on my side bar for those who are in marital crisis but it has nothing whatsoever to do with submission since even wives who aren’t submissive are physically abused.)

David Wegener wrote, “Our pastors preach through books like Ephesians and Colossians and sweat bullets as they approach Ephesians 5:22-24 and Colossians 3:18. And if they do preach on the topic, they talk mostly about what submission does not mean. So the final result is, ‘wives, be nice to your husbands.'” Yep, this is what it has come down to today. Most preachers are afraid to teach what submission is and what it looks like in a marriage. Forget teaching 1 Peter 3:1 about women who are married to disobedient husbands yet are supposed to be living in subjection to them.

I would much rather focus upon what submission is than what it is not because this is what changes marriages for the good. Women don’t need to hear more reasons to disobey their husbands. They need to hear that they are commanded to obey their husbands “Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement” (1 Peter 3:6).

Then forget about hearing about wives submitting to their husbands “in everything” (Ephesians 5:24) without first being taught how loving, kind, and sacrificially husbands should be towards their wives as Christ loved the church. Therefore, wives are the ones who get to decide if they should submit and are even taught that their submission to their husbands is dependent upon their husband’s behavior.

Women say that what I teach is “dangerous.” No, living in rebellion to the Word of God is dangerous; for we reap what we sow. Many today falsely believe that all suffering is evil. No, suffering refines us and makes us like Jesus. Read 1 Peter. We are responsible to follow Jesus and obey Him regardless of the cost to us; for in this there is great reward!

We are responsible for loving our husbands according to God’s definition of love: long-suffering, kind, bearing all things, enduring all things, hoping all things, and believing all thing; for love never fails. It’s obeying Him even when we don’t feel like it. These are hard teachings in today’s feminist “hate the truth” environment in which we live but they hated Christ, so they will hate all those who teach the hard truths of God’s unchanging Word.

His ways are good, women! They reap beautiful fruit. He’s our Creator and He knows what is best for us. Your husband’s eternal soul may be at stake if he is an unbeliever. Live like Jesus in front of him as His power works mightily in and through you. You have nothing to fear because God is fighting this battle for you. He promises to never leave nor forsake you. Learn to be a godly, submissive wife in the good times as well as in the hard times. You will be rewarded for your obedience.

What About Successful Female Preachers?

What About Successful Female Preachers?

“I am not saying I agree with women pastors, I am just saying why would God use them if it was wrong? I guess I need to come to my own understanding of it all. I will continue to pray about it. Also, why does the Word tell us in the last days both me sons and daughters will prophesy in Acts 2:17?” one woman asked me.

Why is Joyce Meyer and so many like her being used by God if women aren’t supposed to be preaching the Word of God and these women have no problems teaching men or standing behind pulpits in churches on Sunday mornings? God is clear that women are not to teach nor be in authority over men. Elders and deacons (the leaders and teachers in the churches) are to be the “husband of one wife.” Women are told to be silent in the churches and if they have questions to ask their husbands at home. So if these are all biblical truth, why are there so many successful women preachers?

Since when do we look at worldly “success” and proclaim it must be the will of God? Since when do we neglect the clear teachings of God and look at people who are directly disobeying it and determine His will by their behavior instead of what God has to say about it? What is “success” any ways? Big crowds? Lots of money? Popular books? TV shows? Are any of these successful in God’s eyes? Does He care about any of these things? No! He cares about us believing in Him and living in obedience to His clear commands. How can these women preachers teach this when they are clearly living in disobedience to His Word?

In fact, many of these false teachers are making “merchandise of you” just as the Word states about false teachers. And through covetousness shall they with feigned words make merchandise of you: whose judgment now of a long time lingereth not, and their damnation slumbereth not (2 Peter 2:3). Haven’t you noticed that most of these famous female preachers are very wealthy due to their ministry? Off the top of my head, I can’t think of one truly biblical famous male preacher of the Word that lives an extravagant lifestyle, can you?

Concerning the verse in Acts, prophesy doesn’t mean getting up in front of a church service and preaching the Word of God since God’s Word doesn’t contradict itself. According to some of the commentaries, this event has already taken place, “And your sons and your daughters – Your children. It would seem that females shared in the remarkable influences of the Holy Spirit. Philip the Evangelist had four daughters which did prophesy, Acts 21:9. It is probable also that the females of the church of Corinth partook of this gift, though they were forbidden to exercise it in public, 1 Corinthians 14:34. The office of prophesying, whatever was meant by that, was not confined to the people among the Jews: Exodus 15:20, ‘Miriam, the prophetess, took a timbrel,’ etc.; Judges 4:4, ‘Deborah, a prophetess, judged Israel’; 2 Kings 22:14. See also Luke 2:36, ‘There was one Anna, a prophetess,’ etc.” (Barnes’ Notes).

“…fulfilled in Anna the prophetess, Luke 2:36, and in the four daughters of Philip, Luke 21:9″ (Matthew Poole’s Commentary).

(I have previously written about the verse in 1 Corinthians that refers to women prophesying in the church.)

I have never felt the need to “hear” from God directly as many of these female preachers do. I study His Word consistently and try to live my life according to what He has clearly asked me to do. If there’s something I want to know about doing that’s not forbidden in the Word, I step out and begin doing it, like writing this blog, and know that God will be the one who opens and closes doors for me.

Undoubtedly, every single time I write about this topic, I am accused of preaching and doing the exact same thing I am teaching against. Writing for a blog is not preaching! For one thing, I am not in a church as I write for this blog and secondly, I am not standing in front of a church on a platform and teaching a group of men and women and thirdly, I am teaching women what the Lord instructs me to teach them. Then these same people scold me for not teaching men their roles. The fact that I have to even explain this shows the ignorance of many today.

Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law.
1 Corinthians 14:34

She Opens Her Mouth with Wisdom

She Opens Her Mouth with Wisdom

She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Proverbs 31:26

 “She is not merely a good housewife, attending diligently to material interests; she guides her family with words of wisdom. When she speaks, it is not gossip, or slander, or idle talk, that she utters, but sentences of prudence and sound sense, such as may minister grace to the hearers…her language to those around her is animated and regulated by love. As mistress of a family, she has to teach and direct her dependents, and she performs this duty with gracious kindness and ready sympathy” (Pulpit Commentary).

The only way we will become this wise woman is by spending a lot of time in God’s Word and learning from Him. Wisdom only comes from God. We are transformed by renewing our minds with truth and if we are never reading and learning truth but instead watching TV shows, news shows, and things of this world, we can never expect to be women who are filled with wisdom and kindness. This is an act of the Holy Spirit in us and we can grieve Him by allowing sin in our lives and not filling our minds with truth.

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom,…. When she opens her mouth, for it is not always open, she expresses herself in a discreet and prudent manner; as well as speaks of things not foolish and trifling, but of moment and importance, and of usefulness to others:…and in her tongue is the law of kindness; or ‘the law of love’, grace and mercy; which is the law of Christ, Galatians 6:2 speaking kindly and tenderly to everyone, exhorting to acts of mercy and kindness, and doing them herself: or ‘the doctrine of grace is in her tongue'” (Gill’s Exposition).

It’s easy for us to talk just to talk and to say things without thinking. We need to learn that it’s OKAY to be quiet. Having a meek and quiet spirit means we are content and even aggressively pursue contentment. This means we enjoy being silent and not having to be the center of attention or just talking about nothing important. If we do talk, we need to learn to carefully measure our words and if we feel like we want to say something mean or critical, we shut it down very quickly and say nothing instead. We are “swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath” (James 1:19).

 “She openeth her mouth with wisdom — She is neither sullenly silent, nor full of impertinent talk, but speaks discreetly and piously, as occasion offers. In her tongue is the law of kindness — Her speeches are guided by wisdom and grace, and not by inordinate passions. And this practice is called a law in her tongue, because it is constant and customary, and proceeds from an inward and powerful principle of true wisdom” (Benson Commentary).

Wisdom comes from above. It is “first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy” (James 3:17). We use no swear words. We don’t tell dirty jokes. We seek peace with everyone as far as it depends upon us. We are “hard to provoke and easily pacified.” We don’t get angry easily and when in the few times that we do, we calm down quickly. 

We must learn to be joyful women of God. What flows out of our mouth begins with our thoughts so we must take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. We can control our thoughts! When we have negative thoughts, we quickly change them to thoughts of thanksgiving and praise to the Lord; for all He’s done for us, and the many blessings we have from Him. We dwell on the lovely and the good; “for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34).

Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding.
Proverbs 3:13

***Picture from Daniel Gerhartz