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Month: May 2018

Ways to Save Money to Stay Home

Ways to Save Money to Stay Home

This post was written by a woman named Nunya who commented on my post Making It On One Income.

The biggest expense is the home. Don’t get a mortgage; don’t buy a large house. Buy a used mobile with cash if you can, fix it, live in it until you can afford to buy land, and then move your mobile onto the land until you can afford to build a home.

Use it up and go without. Don’t eat out. Grow your own veggies as much as you can.  Trade. We use one cell phone, whomever leaves the house takes it. I ditched cable when it went up to $50 a month. Repair your clothes and re-sole your shoes/boots at a cobbler. Have chickens if you can – use eggs to feed other animals/pets and yourself. I mix scrambled eggs with canned cat food for my cat. It stretches the canned food (earthborn), is healthier, and an egg is a complete protein for them.

Don’t vaccinate; it causes health problems in all animals. Eat healthy without chemicals. We buy used clothes. Make things, sell on Etsy – every little bit helps. Take fewer car trips for supplies. Borrow items that you cannot afford (wheel barrow, chain saw, lawn mower, etc.) Cut back on electricity and don’t use air conditioning unless you MUST. Heat with wood.

Do it yourself (fix it or learn how; YouTube is a great source). Do your own oil changes and vehicle maintenance and build your own things. Cut back on gift giving, trust me, people understand – make gifts or buy small gifts. Housing and heating is where we save the most $$. We never go to the movies. Hiking is free, so are many other activities.

Kids don’t mind used toys. We buy used video games and movies. We homeschool; my kids don’t have cell phones and they are never bored because they HAVE CHORES to do. Go to the library; don’t buy books or magazines. Play cards/board games/play outside. Price check around before you buy anything major, if you cannot buy it used. We get second hand stuff from family too, especially for the kids. Strive for self-sufficiency; aim for how they did it in the 1800s!

Count your blessings. 🙂

Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.
Proverbs 13:11

What is Your Definition of a Full Life 4 a Mom?

What is Your Definition of a Full Life 4 a Mom?

“Tonight we are celebrating the love of a chosen family & the fact that being a mother is a privilege & the most important thing you can gift your child is a mother who is not defined by being a mother but who has followed her dreams & who never has to apologize 4 being at work. To show your kids a mom with a full life without them is the only way to celebrate their full lives without us someday. Here’s to the brave mom’s out there. What is your definition of a full life 4 a mom? #Imwithyousister”

This is a tweet by an actress named Vanessa Marcil. Her definition of a full life as a mom is doing what she wants to do. Period. So children are blessed by having mothers who aren’t defined by being a mother but by a woman who bore them then left them in the care of others to raise them? She believes children who are abandoned by their mothers are “blessed” and that mothers who show their children that they have a completely different life apart from their children is good since it prepares them for a life without them. A life without a mother in childhood prepares them for a life without a mother in adulthood?

I don’t know about you but I was blessed because my mother didn’t abandon me for her “dreams.” We were her dream! Vanessa’s comments are so completely backwards that it’s hard for me to even comment on them but I can tell you what, women were thrilled with her very strange comment on Instagram and here are some of their responses.

“Full life for me is to take care of myself. To feel free and spontaneous. To not worry about everyone else around me …there are times I feel guilty for wanting that. It’s not easy being a mom and having to deal with the struggles and all the BS that comes with it. You tend to loose yourself because being a mom is rewarding but at the same time can also be a permanent 24 hr job that you just want to quit.”

“Now that I have had time to think about it my life is just all about my family, and helping others, maybe I do need something more.”

“Thanks to my loving, supportive husband, I been able to continue my education and have an Ed.S. My daughter knows how hard I worked for my education, and she know how much I gain (on a personal, emotional level) from teaching students. I am a better mom because of my career in education, and I think she understands that more and more.”

“Wow! You are truly an inspiration as a mom and a woman. Marry a man with money? ? two things- 1. Cause those women seem so happy. ? 2. The men I have been with who have money were the cheapest mfers on the planet. Cheap and petty. You marry for love and you work for love to set the right example for our kids. Martyr moms who ‘gave up their dreams for us’ raise needy children who also give up their dreams. ?No thank you.”

I asked the women in the chat room this same question and here were some of their answers:

Tammy: “That’s a loaded question but for me it’s being able to spend every day being loved by the father of my children. It’s seeing their joy and wiping their tears. It’s being the one who teaches them the alphabet, how to read, and what God does and who He is. It’s not giving anyone else the privilege of teaching them, protecting them, and having their greatest admiration and love. It’s having their company while we explore the world around us, see new things and cuddle. It’s embracing children as a great gift and joy rather than an interruption in life.”

Sarah: “Being home with her children, and thus constantly in the presence of the Lord (because without unceasing prayer this very full life will run us into the ground!) and providing for them a clean and comfortable place to grow, play and be truly, deeply loved. Having the freedom to provide a home environment that seems almost otherworldly so that my kids and husband come home and find the peace that isn’t at work or at school (though the freedom and privilege of homeschooling is also another part of full motherhood living in my opinion). The stability that comes from the fact that we can live this full, rewarding life without ever leaving our front porches is the icing on top ☺”

Sarah: “My toddler needed a nap, and my 11 year old wanted me to read to him. We snuggled up in my bed, read 4 chapters of Winter Danger (a wonderful book for boys) and the toddler drifted off to dream land, while my teenager does her work, and the 9 year old helps his dad stake tomatoes. That, is my definition of a full life.”

Nicole: “To find the will of God and to do it wholeheartedly. (Maria from the Sound of Music)”

Chelsea: “Waking up everyday getting to spend the entire day with my kids. Watching them play, hearing them laugh, making memories with them. Cooking them homemade meals and hearing ‘you’re the best cook in the world, mommy.’ Impatiently waiting to hear my husband’s truck pull into the driveway every day, peeking out of the window every few minutes with butterflies, hoping it’s him! Sitting down at the table together to eat the meal I cooked for the people I love the most. Hearing my children say grace in the sweetest tones with the most beautiful words that would make anyone proud. Laying in bed with my kids, telling wild tales and stories until they fall asleep, Getting to shower & go to bed every single night with the man of my dreams, talking and laughing until we drift asleep too.

“But it’s not just the ‘perfect’ moments that fulfill my life, it’s the chaos too. My three year old son, dumping a bottle of dirt and rocks on the counter I just cleaned and saying , ‘Here mommy, I got these for you!’ Ketchup somehow in their hair even after they just had a bath, watching my husband and the boys wrestle (a little too rough for my heart to handle); it’s all the moments that I know are moving way too fast. My life is full and I wouldn’t trade any bit of it for the world. I now have tears of happiness in my eyes 😭💕”

Cassie: “A full life for a mom is to have the privilege of having a huge influence in such a special person’s life. The ability to influence that life to live to their fullest potential while seeking out God’s will for their lives.”

Dolly: “A full life is a life that is dedicated to serving others. Jesus Himself came to serve others. Mothers are constantly serving and sacrificing for their husband and children. I believe there is no greater act of love.”

Johann: “I would respond being a real woman, it teaches me everything that being a feminist would not teach me: to be humble, patient, loving, selfless, to do things well and for the glory of God and not brag about myself. I could mention many things that feminism would not teach me. I’m really free doing everything for which God designed me. Being a feminist makes you unhappy.”

Kylene: “A full life is a life dedicated to the bigger picture: not what the mother wants and feels in the moment, but what will benefit her children and future generations over the decades. Will a career make her feel fulfilled in the moment? Maybe? But it means her children are being raised by daycare and schools instead of her. What will that mean in the long term? Children raised by people who don’t love, but are merely paid to ‘look after’ them while she seeks fulfillment elsewhere.”

“As for her, like most women, she had but one ambition. To be a good wife and a good mother, and to be beloved by her husband and children, was all she asked. [She was] a busy, affectionate, cheerful little housewife, whose voice would never be heard in the streets, but whose memory would always live in a few faithful hearts.”
~Elizabeth Prentiss

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Proverbs 31:27, 28

Loving Mothers Raise Secure Children

Loving Mothers Raise Secure Children

“We are living at an unusual time in history, when great pressures are being brought to bear on us to offer up our children on the alter of mammon. We must not give in to this hideous idol, no matter how desperate our financial situation may seem…Though many day-care children spent many, many happy hours playing in my home, I would never willingly put my child through what I saw my little day-care children go through…Perhaps if every young mother had to do ten years of home day-care, a revival of sacrificial mothering would sweep across America.” (Helen Aardsma)

Many young women today don’t understand the impact of their choices upon their children. They haven’t been taught that they are the ones that should be raising and loving their children deeply which means sacrificing for them and being home with them instead of having others raise them. Even if a mother is home full time with her children, she stills need to focus upon loving them or God wouldn’t have had older women teaching young women to love their children.

My mom didn’t feel loved by her mother. Her mother may well have loved her very much but from the things she said to my mom and the way she treated her, she didn’t feel love from her and has struggled with insecurity her entire life, even at the age of 87 years old. My dad was an only child and deeply loved by his mother. He doesn’t have an insecure bone in his body. I felt deeply loved by my mom and am a secure adult.

I conducted a poll with the women in the chat room about this topic to see what their responses would be. The options were: 1) Loved by mom = grew up secure. (54  women); 2) Didn’t feel loved by mom or not loved by mom = grew up insecure. (60 women); 3) Loved by mom = grew up insecure. (19 women). So from my very unscientific poll, women grew up to be much more secure if they felt loved by their mothers than those who were not.

It makes common sense to me that those women who were deeply loved and cared for by their mothers would most likely grow up to be secure adults, especially if their mothers were home full time. (This wasn’t accounted for in the poll.) I know Dr. Brenda Hunter who wrote the book “Home By Choice” found the same thing to be true from her scientific studies.

It’s so important, women, to deeply love your children even if you don’t feel like you like them. Decide to be affectionate, tender, kind, and loving towards them. Remember, we don’t live by our feelings but by obedience. Your children, who you may love but not like so much, know how you feel about them. Most of us aren’t so good at hiding our feelings.

Some of these women who grew up not feeling loved, thus insecure, by their mothers became secure when they learned who they were in Christ. Teach your children from a young age who they are in Christ. Teach them their value and worth comes from Him and not what others will say about or to them. After feeling loved and secure in your love, then they will be prepared to go out into the world and be secure in who they are in Christ. They will remember that God promises to never leave nor forsake them.

Hug your teenage children. Smile at them when you see them. Let them see that you find joy in them. They still need your love and affection. The world is an insecure and scary place but if your children have a warm and loving home with an affectionate mother in it, these children will grow up secure and most likely emotionally stable.

Discipline and train them in love. Tell them that you are spanking them when they are young and disobedient because you love them so much. Build a loving relationship as they grow up so you’ll have a loving relationship when they are adults. This is how it goes with this eternal principle: We reap what we sow!

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.
Titus 2:4

Do You Have a Sexless Marriage?

Do You Have a Sexless Marriage?

Written by Gary Thomas

Anna, a mother of five children all under eight years of age, is understandably tired. It’s impossible not to be tired if you  have five kids that young. She’s married to Michael, a rising lawyer and almost-certain future partner of a prestigious law firm. The problem Anna wants resolved is a common one: Michael has a high sex drive, and Anna has almost none. She’s understandably concerned that as Michael’s star at work rises, particularly with younger associates and interns, he could be targeted for sexual temptation. But she’s not concerned enough to have sex nearly as often as Michael would like.

“What do you think would make Michael happy?” I asked her.

“He told me he’d be happy with two times a week, ecstatic with three.”

“As opposed to the current…”

“Maybe once a month, if I’m honest.”

Once a month almost qualifies for a “sexless marriage.” (An accepted definition by most marital therapists is ten times a year or less.)

There were extenuating circumstances that we talked about, and things I could and did say later to Michael, but the image that Anna later told me most opened her eyes was this: I asked her to imagine her oldest son all grown up, married, and with small kids. He works a busy job and travels through a pornographic world. His vocation requires him to be around young, energetic women, he’s a star in their galaxy, and he also happens to have a high sex drive.

“Okaaaay…,” Anna said.

“You want your son to be a faithful husband and a man of integrity, right?”

“Of course.”

“And because you raised him right, he’s doing his best. But I want you to consider this: If your future daughter-in-law treated him like you’re treating Michael right now, would you be frustrated with her or grateful to her?”

Anna was silent for a long while, processing the question. He voice dropped two levels of softness when she replied, “Well, I wouldn’t be happy with her.”

(This is an excerpt from Gary Thomas’ book “A Lifelong Love.” From what I have read so far, it’s a fabulous book! Remember, treat your husband the same way that you want your future daughter-in-law to treat your son.)

Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:5

Why Organic Food is So Expensive

Why Organic Food is So Expensive

My mom fed us organic foods since the time I was five years old. I mostly eat organic foods and fed it to my children when they were growing up. Yes, it’s more expensive but I don’t want all of the toxic chemicals sprayed on foods that are conventionally grown.

I have been reading a book called “The Dirty Life: A Memoir of Farming, Food, and Love” by Kristin Kimball. Someone recommended it on one of the blogs I follow. It’s not a Christian book. She’s a feminist and they lived together before marriage. She didn’t want to take her husband’s last name since she liked her last name and none of her married friends took their husband’s last name. Her husband told her he would take her last name then because he didn’t want their children to have hyphened last names. (It shows the sorry state of today’s feminized culture.)

After they married, she wanted a break from her husband and went to Maui for a job but while there, she figured this out: “It wasn’t Mark or the farm or marriage I was trying to shake loose from but my own imperfect self, and even if I kept moving, she would dog me all the way around the world, forever.” So she went home.

They fought often about ways to do things on the farm even though he had farmed for many years and she had only been a city, career woman up until they met. It clearly shows the trouble when there is no leader or head. She finally realized another great truth after her time in Maui: “Without me to struggle against, without the constant chaos of our first growing season, without the pressure of our impending wedding, he seemed to have found his own steady rhythm. I worked my way into it, looking for the harmony this time, instead of conflict.”

This book is about a couple who decided they wanted to farm without any chemicals (toxic or  non-toxic) and grow almost all of their own food. They wanted to be able to sell the food year round to families so it’s quite an adventure that they took upon themselves. Their lives are difficult but rewarding. She learned to love it!

There are a few things that I want to point out from this book. The first one being God’s curse to man after the Fall. “And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return” (Genesis 3:19).

Now, read what she wrote about organic farming: “My existence, from daybreak to dark, became focused on the assassination of weeds. Before that first year, I’d filed ‘agriculture,’ in the card catalog of my head, in the same general place as ‘nature.’ As in many things, I was so wrong. Farming, I discovered, is a great and ongoing war. The farmers are continually fighting to keep nature behind the hedgerow, and nature is continually fighting to overtake the field. Inside the ramparts are the sativas, the cultivated plants, soft and vulnerable, too highbred and civilized for fighting. Aligned with nature, there are the weeds, tough foot soldiers, evolved for battle.”

Then she wrote why organic food is more expensive than conventionally grown food: “If you ever wonder why organic vegetables cost more, blame the weeds. The work on a conventional farm that can be done with one pass of the sprayer must, on an organic farm, be done continually, from germination to harvest, by physically disrupting the weeds.” It’s a lot easier to spray crops with a bunch of toxic chemicals that kill weeds than it is to deal with the weeds without the chemicals which this couple and many other organic farmers do. Organic farmers take on God’s curse and conventional farmers have learned how to avoid it with great cost to the health of many.

This couple’s cows grazed on clover and grass in the warmer weather and on hay (that they had made) during the cold months instead of on GMO corn like conventional cows are fed today. All of their animals ate the foods they were created to eat, thus the eggs and meat they provided were nutritious and building up of one’s health instead of tearing it down.

The toxic chemicals that conventional farmers use aren’t only killing the weeds. They are killing the worms which make the soil rich and full of nutrients and the crops soak up the toxic chemicals that people eat. The chemicals are killing our bees which are essential and they are polluting our environment. Then we wonder why cancer rates are so high today.

I shop at a locally owned health food store. All of their produce is organic and marked with labels that tell where and how far away the food was produced so we are getting food that isn’t sprayed with chemicals and is freshly picked. Along with eating organic foods, I have learned to make Einkorn Sourdough bread, kefir, fermented vegetables, and chicken broth. None of these things are very expensive but it’s worth it to do what I can for good health then leave the rest in the Lord’s hands. Man cannot improve upon food the way God created it to be eaten.

And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
Genesis 1:29

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
Genesis 9:3

Women’s Ministry is Broken

Women’s Ministry is Broken

Written By Robert Truelove

The truth of the matter is we are all unprofitable servants, even when we are faithful to the master.

So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.

—Luke 17:10

Jesus wants us to be faithful to our calling and humbly acknowledge that we are just doing what we are supposed to do. Herein is the problem that plagues the typical evangelical woman. She doesn’t know what her calling is, she is subsequently discouraged, and lives an unfulfilling life.

To address this problem we have the never ending series of “women’s ministries.” Women flock to these “ministries” in the hopes of gaining some sort of “breakthrough.” They are taught their purpose can be realized by either starting their own “women’s ministry” or working within one already established.

The entire paradigm of the “women’s ministry” is broken. It’s a vicious cycle. Women are trapped in the lies of feminism and find their Christian lives to be unfulfilling. They seek answers from a “women’s ministry” and are ultimately taught they will find fulfillment by involving themselves in “women’s ministry.” This doesn’t address the calling of the Christian woman and further obscures it.

But are not the mature women to “teach the young women” (Titus 2:4)? Oh yes, certainly…and here we find an answer when we look at the context…

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

—Titus 2:3-5

A Christian woman should be taught to find her calling first and foremost IN HER HOME. The domestic duties of the home are her sphere of Christian leadership, for she is to be a “keeper of the home.” Her first ministry is to her husband and children as she loves and serves them as a Christian wife and mother. This is WHO the Christian woman ought to be!

This is the comprehensive witness of the Scriptures.

When a Christian woman seeks to “find herself” outside of the home, it is not piety but rebellion. Such women make poor wives and mothers but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Christian women who lay hold of their calling by faith, believing in God’s role for them, discover their purpose. Contentment and fulfillment will follow.

Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.

—Proverbs 31:25

(Of course, Robert received MANY angry comments to this post, so he wrote the following in response because of course, the Proverbs 31 woman had a career, said many!)

I don’t think Proverbs 31 works as a good proof to encourage women to work outside of the home however. All of the things mentioned are part of the fulfillment of her domestic duties (which are quite extensive). It also speaks of the incredible competency of the godly woman.

That said, I realize there are many women, married and single who have to work outside the home. I’m sure this was a reality in the 1st century as well. Does this then negate the calling of women to the home?

What about single women? I was not particularly addressing single women nor do I feel that I need to qualify every iota since the Bible addresses this subject in the same way without stopping to qualify. See Titus 2:3-5…all young women aren’t married with children are they? Did Paul find it necessary to stop and qualify what he meant?

The reality is, the Bible is very controversial on this subject today because it speaks very plainly to it and the world hates it. I refuse to qualify it to the point it no longer means what it clearly means which is precisely what is being done today.

That wives are to submit to their husbands…somehow today means she has total veto power over all decisions.

Wives are to be the keeper of the home…somehow now means train as a young woman for a career, marry, and share the keeping of the home with the husband.

There is numerous absurdities like this being passed off under Biblical language. You’re not going see me doing that (by God’s grace I trust).

In the context of church history, it is an indictment to how off kilter our generation is that a post such as this would be considered highly inflammatory. I could post some citations from some of the most well respected pastors and theologians from church history on this subject that would make my post appear to be most gentle by comparison.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Fight the Real Enemy in Your Marriage

Fight the Real Enemy in Your Marriage

From the best scene in the movie “The War Room” with a few of my additions in parenthesis.

“My question to you is this, in light of all these wrongs, does God still love Tony?” – Miss Clara

“We both know that he does.” – Elizabeth

“Do you?”

“Now, Miss Clara, you’re meddling. There’s love in my heart for Tony but it’s just buried under a lot of frustration.”

“So he needs grace.”

“Grace? I don’t know if he deserves grace.”

“Do you deserve grace?”

“Miss Clara, you have a habit of backing me up in a corner and making me squirm.”

“I felt the same way but the question remains, do you deserve grace? The Bible says that no one is righteous, no, not even one. (Once we believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior, we become the righteousness of God – 2 Corinthians 5:21). For we have all sinned, so really none of us deserves grace but we all still want God’s forgiveness. Elizabeth, it comes down to this, Jesus shed His blood on the cross. He died for you even when you didn’t deserve it and He rose from the grave and offers forgiveness and salvation for anyone who turns to Him. But the Bible also says we can’t ask Him to forgive us while refusing to forgive others. (Although once we are true believers in Jesus Christ, we are forgiven for every single sin we have and will commit.)”

“I know, Miss Clara, but that’s just so hard to do.”

“Yes, it is but that’s where grace comes in. He gives us grace and He helps us to give it to others even when they don’t deserve it. We all deserve judgment. That is what a Holy God gives us when we don’t repent and believe in His Son. I had to forgive Lee over some things and it wasn’t easy but it freed me, Elizabeth. There’s not room for you and God on the throne of your heart. It’s either Him or you. You need to step down and if you want victory, you are going to have to first surrender.”

“But, Miss Clara, do I just back off and choose to forgive and let him walk all over me?”

“God is a good defense attorney. Trust it to Him and then you can turn your focus to the real enemy.”

“The real enemy?”

“The one who wants to remain hidden. The one who wants to distract you and deceive you and divide you from the Lord and your husband. You see, that’s how he works. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy and he is stealing your joy. He is killing your faith and trying to destroy your family. If I were you, I would get my heart right with God and you need to do your fighting in prayer and you need to kick the real enemy out of your home with the Word of God. (I don’t believe in rebuking the devil as Elizabeth did in the movie.) It’s time for you to fight, Elizabeth. It’s time for you to fight for your marriage. It’s time for you to fight the real enemy. It’s time for you to take off the gloves and do it!”

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 10:10

Raise Your Daughters Right

Raise Your Daughters Right

Written By K.B. Davis

Society is awash with talk of fathers raising their boys and sons right – teaching them how to treat women, work hard, be a provider, cook, clean, and tidy up after themselves.

Quite right and all well and good.

But I do not hear the equivalent for girls. So, who teaches women? I do not hear anything about raising daughters right, or teaching them to be clean, tidy, cook, and keep a home.

I do not hear about teaching girls to respect men, or to submit and obey their husbands. I don’t hear about teaching them to dress modestly, to be meek, chaste and humble.

I do not hear about teaching them not to be man-hating, victim-mentality feminists who have swallowed the lie of the world wholesale.

I don’t hear anything about teaching them to love themselves the way they are, rather than “toning” their skins and yearning to wear make up and lace wigs when they grow up.

Because right now, society is full of girls AND women who are more of the latter, and less of the former things mentioned above.

Some are downright lazy, extremely untidy, and can’t cook to save their lives. They have no idea what a “man” is, talk less of how to treat him. They have grown up with a sense of entitlement thinking a man is someone of the male gender who exists to please them and pander to their whims.

Some call themselves “slay queens “ or “slay mamas,” and their major skill seems to be taking selfies, dancing, twerking, and posting half naked pictures on Instagram; subliminally begging for attention. All they know is how to dress sexy, look good, and wear makeup.

Others fight and cuss each other out on social media, or spew out sexually explicit stuff without any decorum or modicum of self respect. Furthermore, women are now competing with men in the violence stakes – in regards to things like domestic violence and violent crimes in society.

So, who “raised” these girls and women? Ghosts?

The Bible says to “train up a CHILD in the right way, so when they are older, they will not depart from it”- Proverbs 22:6. It didn’t say to train up just boys and sons.

But more importantly, it tells the older women to TEACH the younger ones to be “humble, chaste, be homemakers, to love their husbands and be obedient to him”; among other things – Titus 2:3-5.

This is not opinion. It is Scripture.

Parents, raise your DAUGHTERS right. Mothers, raise your DAUGHTERS right. Not just your sons.

Love Does Not Mean We Accept, Tolerate, or Approve of Sin

Love Does Not Mean We Accept, Tolerate, or Approve of Sin

Written By David C. Cook


A.To many ‘love’ means we must accept, tolerate and even approve of sin and never speak out against it and to never give a word of warning or correction concerning false doctrine or ungodly living. But this is a false worldly love.

1. True love speaks the Truth and will not compromise even if it offends others but it may convict others and set them free as they obey the Truth. Jesus Himself called men to repent or perish. Jesus Himself warned of eternal hell. Jesus said in John 7:24 to ‘judge with righteous judgment.’

2.Many churches have “redefined” what real love is and will allow all kinds of sin and false doctrines to infect the church and therefore will cease to be a real church. At all costs they must stay positive and upbeat and avoid anything that deals with real serious issues.They lack real substance because they lack biblical Truth.They entertain and keep things shallow! They seek to make everyone happy even if it grieves the Holy Spirit!

3.Today it’s happiness instead of holiness. Its “compromise instead of commitment” to the Truth. It’s about pleasing people instead of pleasing God. What ever happened to holiness? What ever happened to preaching against sin? What ever happened to training true disciples who have a holy passion for God? What about preaching Christ and the attributes of God ?

4.When I read my Bible and read all of what Jesus taught and read all the New Testament inspired letters I see a loving, godly zeal for truth and I see many very serious warnings and rebukes along with many serious exhortations.

2 Timothy 3:16″All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.’ Are we really hearing the Word of God today?

1.Doctrine – Tells us what is right.
2.Reproof – Tells us what is not right.
3.Correction – Tells us how to get right.
4.Instruction in righteousness -T ells us how to stay right. And we need all four in our lives by allowing the Word of God to teach us sound doctrine, to reprove us,to correct us and to teach us to live a godly and righteous life in a very ungodly world!

C.What does the bible say about this? 2nd Timothy 4:2-4 “Preach the Word, be instant in season, out of season, reprove, rebuke with all long-suffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine, but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears. And they shall turn away their ears from the truth,and shall be turned unto fables.”

1.Proverbs 10:17 “He is in the way of life that keeps instruction, but he that refuses reproof erreth.”
2.Proverbs 15:10 “Correction is grievous unto him that forsakes the way and he that hates reproof shall die.”
3.Proverbs 15:31 “The ear that hears the reproof of life abides among the wise.”
4.Proverbs 15:32 “He that refuses instruction despises his own soul, but he that hears reproof gets understanding.” VERY FEW WANT A MESSAGE OF REPROOF. WHAT DOES THAT SAY ABOUT MOST CHURCHES THESE DAYS? A POPULAR MESSAGE IS ONE THAT PLEASES THE FLESH.

D.Many ‘professed believers’ follow their own desires and do not follow Jesus and they look for teachers who will tell them whatever their itching ears want to hear. Many have a distaste for Truth and if you bring a word of rebuke or correction they will then rebuke you for not being loving.

1.You will be accused of being mean and not tolerant and having a judgmental critical spirit.
They sure show a lack of discernment and a lack of what the bible really teaches.

2.I mean read the scriptures in this post and if you do not agree with God then you have an issue with Him. The fact is many do not want the Truth,’ ‘they turn away their ears from the truth.’ Why? Because they want to please their fleshly desires.

3.STUDY BIBLE NOTE: “Many within the churches will no longer tolerate sound biblical teaching. Those who turn from the truth will want preaching that demands less than the true gospel. They will not accept God’s Word when it speaks of repentance, sin, the judgments of God, the necessity of holiness and separation from the world.”


The Jezebel Profile

The Jezebel Profile

Written By Debi Pearl

Every day I read many letters from women who are having trouble in their marriage. I also receive letters from women testifying of the victory they have received and of healing that has occurred.

I have developed a lot of insight through reading these testimonies of successes and failures. My husband and I have searched the Scriptures to find answers for the many domestic issues that are presented to us.

The causes of marital failure are many and varied. There is no one cause or single issue. The man is at fault just as much as the woman, but it is nearly always the woman who seeks answers. Men just go to work and learn to live with it—or flee from it. Women ask, “What can I do to heal my marriage?” I am a woman. Men don’t usually ask me for advice—which is as it should be. So I speak to women, and for that I am often accused of being one-sided. Women ask, “Why do you always blame the women; what about the men?” So to the women I say, you cannot change 100% of the marriage, but you can change 50% of it, and that may improve your marriage by 200%.

Our readers are a unique group. They are spiritually minded, church going, Bible believing, mostly homeschooling, and very family centered in perspective. This profile lends itself to several unique sources of irritation to the marriage. Your letters and testimonies have enabled us to identify one of the most common problem on the woman’s side. It is the Jezebel spirit.

When the name Jezebel comes to mind, most of us see the painted face of a seductively dressed woman gazing into the eyes of a man who lacks good sense. The Bible portrays Jezebel in a different light.

Revelation 2:20 says that Jezebel “calleth herself a prophetess,” and men received her as a teacher. This was given as a warning to the church. The one whom you have received as a spirit filled teacher comes to you in the great tradition of Jezebel. We have observed that many wives have stalled their half of the marriage by assuming the spiritual headship of the home. They would teach their husbands. But consider 1 Cor. 14:34-35,

“Let your women keep silence in the churches: for it is not permitted unto them to speak; but they are commanded to be under obedience, as also saith the law. And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.”

I went back to I Kings to see what the Bible had to say about this woman Jezebel. The first thing I noticed was that Jezebel was more religious than her husband. She was spiritually intense. The Bible says in 1 Cor 11:3, “But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” As a woman, our place is under our husband, especially in the spiritual realm. Regardless of our circumstances, when we take the spiritual lead, we have stepped out from under our head. We have tried to rearrange God’s designated place for us. We are no longer in God’s will.

The second thing I observed was that Ahab was emotionally volatile—unstable. Is your husband prone to retreat? Is he bitter, angry, or depressed? When a woman takes the lead, she is playing the masculine role. Unless her husband fights her for supremacy, he must assume second place. And men who are forced into spiritual subjection to their wives tend to be angry and retreat like Ahab.

The third thing I noticed was that she used his emotional stress to endear herself to him—strange way of lording over the husband. Jezebel manipulated and accused an innocent man, then had him murdered so that Ahab might have the vineyard he wanted. Ahab kept his face to the wall and let her do her dark deeds. Today, if a woman is willing to play her husband’s role in directing the family, he will lose his natural drive to bear responsibility.

In the dominant role, a woman quickly becomes emotionally and physically exhausted. God made us the weaker vessels. If you are in this exhausted state, then chances are you’re carrying a load not meant for you. It is not for you to press your husband to do his duty to be spiritual. You are to live joyfully in the context he provides.

The fourth thing that jumped out at me was that Ahab could easily be manipulated by his wife to suit her purposes. Jezebel used him to set up images as aids to worship under her own prophets and to kill God’s prophets. Often, a man becomes involved in the Church, not because God has called him or because it is in his heart to do so, but because he is trying to please his wife and at least LOOK spiritual. When a husband steps into a spiritual role at his wife’s beckoning, he becomes vulnerable to her guidance in that role.

This is against nature, and often brings conflict in the family and in the church.
Ahab chose not to notice when his wife worked behind the scenes. Many men turn their heads when they see their wives stepping out of their God-given role. These men would rather not have to deal with the stone-cold anger they would receive from their wives if they offered any resistance. Have you been there, done that?

Jezebel knew that she was not the rightful head, so she invoked her husband’s name to give her word authority. Did you ever say, “Oh, my husband will not let me do that,” when you knew in truth he really would not care? It is a way to maintain control and stop those who would question you. When a woman does this, she stops any ministry God has to her.

Jezebel was deeply concerned about spiritual matters and took steps to help promote her spiritual leaders. In the process, she provoked her husband to destroy those in spiritual authority she did not like. Have you ever influenced your husband to think evil of those in authority because you did not like something about them? When a woman comes to this place she might as well sign her name “Jezebel.”

God has a plan for women. He revealed his will in many verses in clear, concise commands. He gives a revealing picture of what he abhors in a woman by introducing us to Jezebel, then reaffirming in the New Testament just what it was about her character that he found so despicable.

He reveals his will in a positive note in the stories of the women whom he honored. The story of Ruth tells of a young girl who had known tragedy, extreme poverty, and hard menial work, yet she maintained a positive, thankful, and submissive attitude. God blessed Ruth because her own personal success and happiness were not the driving forces in her life.

Esther is the story of a girl who lost all of her family and was taken by force to become the wife of an older, divorced, heathen man. She was put (by her husband’s decree) in danger of losing her own life as well as the lives of all her people. Yet, she overcame her circumstances and her fear in order to honor her husband. The Scripture teaches that when her husband heard her honest appeal, delivered with gracious dignity, she won his heart, and he turned to save her people. God used Esther because God’s will was more important to her than her own fulfillment.

Proverbs 31 defines the virtuous woman. She is NOT a mousy, voiceless prude. She is confident, hard working, creative, and resourceful. She uses her time wisely. Her first virtue is that the heart of her husband is safe with her. It says that she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. That is, he can trust her with his thoughts and feelings, never fearing that she might use the private knowledge she has of him to hurt him in any way. Some men maintain a distance from their wives because if they reveal themselves, their wives will use it against them when they are out of sorts.

If this passage had been written from our modern perspective, it would have extolled her for having a “quiet time,” prayer time, fellowship time, and would have projected an image of a prayer warrior, teacher, or counselor. In all the Scriptural profiles of righteous women, including Proverbs 31, none of those concepts are even mentioned. A Proverbs 31 woman is busy helping her husband become successful. She is too busy being productive to spend time being his conscience. In our culture, we have lost a clear understanding of what constitutes a virtuous woman. We have accepted the modern concept of the “spiritual” woman, circulating in the realm of religious power, and have forgotten that God does not see them in this same “glorious” light. What we think is spiritual, God labels “Jezebel.” “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD (Isa. 55:8).”

In order to become a righteous woman, reaping the benefits of having our man adore us, we must follow God’s principles of womanhood and totally reject the Jezebel tendency. God laid down a few simple rules that must be followed because they are consistent with our feminine nature and the nature of men. It was Ruth’s virtuous and humble, yet feminine, bold example that caused Boaz to love and admire her. It was Esther’s submission to this principle that won the King’s love and appreciation for her as a woman and as his queen. These women showed themselves womanly and lovable in the midst of extreme circumstances. God honored them with favor from the men in their lives.

Dominance and control are always masculine. It is a hormonal thing. It is the way God designed male nature. It is important for a woman to understand that she has to be feminine (devoid of dominance and control) in order for her man to view her as his exact counterpart and thus respond to her protectively, with love and gentleness.

God designed us, so he knows what our husbands need in order to function properly in their roles as men who cherish the woman in their life. By nature, men need honor (this includes not questioning their decisions). They need respect (treated as if they are wise). They need reverence (daily admired as a man who is accomplishing great things). They need to be accepted for who and what they are, just like they are. Men need to feel they are in command and doing a good job.

An important part of man is a God-given, natural instinct to bring his wife pleasure. If a woman is to be greatly treasured she will choose to find pleasure in the way the man presents himself and his care. All these traits are basic masculine needs. We were created as a helpmeet to the man we married, fulfilling who and what he is. This is God’s will for us as women. When we as women obey God by responding to the needs of our husband, we are worshipping and honoring God. “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man (1 Cor. 11:9).”

God created you to fulfill your husband’s basic masculine needs. Only in that role will you find peace and cause your man to respond to you in loving adoration. This role of submission is totally feminine. It is the exact counterpart for his masculine needs. “And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Gen 2:18).”

A woman who criticizes her husband for watching too much TV no longer honors him. When a woman tries to control areas of their life together because she thinks she is right, she is usurping authority over him, and lording over him. A depressed, discontented woman, who feels that her husband does not meet her needs, is dishonoring God.

Hurt feelings are a way to control. Silence and emotional retreat are ugly, destructive ways to control both your husband and your children. Anger, sickness, exhaustion, and even fear are all used to control those you care about. Some women control their husband by having an intense spiritual hunger. Jezebel comes in many disguises.

There are many various and subtle ways to control and direct your husband. One of the ways to take control is to tell your husband that you want him to be the spiritual leader in the home and then let him know that you are waiting to follow. You can lead from behind just by clearing your throat at the right moment. Many nice homeschooling moms are the spiritual leaders in their homes. They play the masculine role spiritually.

How this must grieve the Holy Spirit of God. Often the excuse is that we cannot serve two masters, and since our husband is carnal, we have to take the higher ground. Like Eve, we are so deceived. “And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression (1 Tim 2:14).”

A man cannot cherish a strong woman who has expressed her displeasure with him and is holding out until he fulfills her ideal. You say he should have Christ’s love. Is that what you want? Do you want your husband to have to seek supernatural power just to find a way to love you? What most men cherish in their wives is the memory when love was fun and free, with no demands—the time when she smiled at him with a sweet, girlish, “I think you are wonderful” look. She was so feminine then, so much the woman. It was a time when he wanted to hold her just because she was his, a time when he wanted to give her everything. A vague memory keeps him hoping.

He is as disappointed in love as you are, maybe more. He is just as lonely. He just fills up his loneliness doing things that will distract him from the reality of the emptiness he knows is there but does not know how to fix. His help meet is not pleased with him. He is a loser.

The very first command God gave to a woman was, “Thy desire shall be unto thy husband and he shall rule over thee” (Gen. 3:16). Is your desire toward your husband? Do you desire him as a man? Do you live to please him? Does he rule over you? This is God’s will.

Being a Jezebel is an active role—actively controlling, actively doing our own thing. Being a Ruth or an Esther is just as active. It is a decision we make hundreds of times each day as we choose to joyfully honor our husbands.

God’s reward is without measure. Men are like clay in the hands of a woman whom they can trust with their hearts. A man, lost or saved, responds to a woman who honors him. When a woman looks to her husband with a face that is full of laughter and delight, he will look forward to being with her. If her voice speaks words of thanksgiving and joyful appreciation of him, he will want to listen to her. If her actions are full of service and creativity, and if she has goodwill towards him, he will be drawn to her as a bee is to honey. This kind of lady is altogether feminine. She is what God created and gave to Adam.

Deep in our heart we all want the same thing. We all want to be loved and cherished. We all cry out with our utmost being to be treasured in the heart of our husbands. It is the greatest honor on earth to know your husband is thrilled that you are his woman. It passes all of earth’s blessings to feel his gaze upon you and know that you are his greatest gift, his most prized possession, his best friend, his favorite pastime, his only chum, and his delight as a lover. It is a great joy to know that he is actually proud you are his. It is not remembering birthdays, opening the door of a car, or other silly customs that we crave, it is the knowledge that he is totally taken with us. We want him to want us. We simply want to be loved. It is God’s perfect will for our husbands to love us. It is God’s perfect will for us to honor, obey and reverence our husbands. God’s way works. If what you are doing this year has not worked, why not go God’s way?

For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man. For the man is not of the woman; but the woman of the man. Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man. 
1 Corinthians 11:7-9

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