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Modesty in the Summer Months

Modesty in the Summer Months

When I began writing this post, I meant to write about the undressing of women in the warmer months which is happening here in California. I decided to do a word study on the word ‘modest’ and did you know that it appears only one time in the Bible? “In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with modesty and sobriety; not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” (1 Timothy 2:9).  Modest in the dictionary means “free from ostentation or showy extravagance.” Since it appears only one time in the Word, I decided to go to the commentaries to see what the men of old had to say about it.

“Being present and taking part silently—avoiding especially in these services anything like a conspicuous dress or showy ornaments—anything, in fact, which would be likely to arouse attention, or distract the thoughts of others” (Elliot’s Commentary). This verse about modesty appears in the context where the Apostle Paul is explaining worship in a church setting. Men are to lift holy hands; women are to adorn themselves in modest apparel and good works, learn in silence with subjection, and not teach nor be in authority over men.

Therefore, what we wear to church should not be anything that attracts attention to ourselves or distracts others from worship, but it seems that it should be this way in our daily lives, too, since our lives should be lived in worship to Him! (I do love how this commentary describes women in the church service; “being present and taking part silently.” A good reminder for us all since this is a discipline women must learn and many are rebelling against today as we can see from all the women preachers on the scene.)

“What the apostle especially forbids is that immodest manner of dressing which is calculated to excite impure desires in the spectators, or a vain admiration of the beauty of those that use it: also that gaudiness or showiness of dress which proceeds from vanity, and nourishes vanity, wastes time and money, and so prevents many good works” (Benson Commentary). Our culture is obsessed with clothes. Our closets are packed full with them. Styles change often so we mistakenly believe we must too. Most of us spend way too much money on clothes and on ourselves, yet the Lord wants us to spend our time and money on good works instead. Let’s not dress to attract undue attention from others since we are called to be shamefaced. The only thing that should attract others to ourselves is our joy and kindness towards them.

“Good works are the best ornament; these are, in the sight of God, of great price. Modesty and neatness are more to be consulted in garments than elegance and fashion. And it would be well if the professors of serious godliness were wholly free from vanity in dress. They should spend more time and money in relieving the sick and distressed, than in decorating themselves and their children. To do this in a manner unsuitable to their rank in life, and their profession of godliness, is sinful. These are not trifles, but Divine commands. The best ornaments for professors of godliness, are good works” (Matthew Henry). What are good works? Joyfully serving our families and taking good care of them. Helping those in need. Being generous with our time, money, and energy. Praying for others. It’s being living sacrifices as the Lord has asked us to be. Let’s learnt to care a lot more about this instead of how we look; for true beauty is the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit (being gentle and kind).

“A female may as truly violate the precepts of her religion by neglecting her personal appearance as by excessive attention to it. The true idea here is, that her attention to her appearance should be such that she will be offensive to no class of persons; such as to show that her mind is supremely fixed on higher and more important things, and such as to interfere with no duty which she owes, and no good which she can do, either by spending her time needlessly in personal adorning, or by lavishing that money for dress which might do good to others, or by neglecting the proprieties of her station, and making herself offensive to others” (Barnes’ Notes). There needs to be balance. Yes, let’s do our best to look neat and tidy. Our husbands do like us to look pretty and clean. Some women go to the opposite extreme and live in sweats and t-shirts all day without even fixing their hair. This is just as wrong as spending too much time and money on ourselves. We are daughters of the King and so let’s look like it!

“Your appearance is the first thing people will notice about you and thus creates an impression of who you are and what your influence will be. You are often faced with a dilemma of choosing between contemporary fashion trends and the commitments to purity and holiness of your faith…Just as I assume that the label on a product is accurate, so God’s Word challenges me to dress in such a way that my outward appearance is an accurate label for my character.” (Pat Ennis)

But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation.
1 Peter 1:15

***Now, onto dressing modestly for the warmer months! I found this skirt I’m wearing in the picture at Zappos. (It was on sale when I bought it and you have to buy it one size smaller than you usually wear.) I love it! It is so comfortable. The first time I wore it was on a walk near our home that Ken and I take every day. At the end of the walk, he said to me, “I like you a lot more in that skirt than in jeans!” I was actually surprised but happy since it’s a lot more comfortable. (I wear these soft bike shorts under them for comfort and more modesty.) I used to wear shorts in the warmer months but I’m switching to wearing more dresses and skirts since I do believe they are more modest, especially as I grow older. How do you dress modestly in summer?

What Makes a Woman Feminine?

What Makes a Woman Feminine?

Do wearing dresses, skirts, high heels, and long hair make a woman feminine? Many dresses and skirts are a lot more feminine than pants and shorts but are these what make a woman feminine? No. According to God’s Word it has nothing to do with our outward appearance and everything to do with our behavior. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:4). It is the hidden man of the heart; a meek and quiet spirit that makes us feminine!

What is a meek and quiet spirit? It’s so easy to forget because it’s not modeled very many places. Feminism has stolen the meek and quiet spirited women, even in the Church. Our culture spends a lot more time encouraging us to adorn our fading exterior rather than our eternal interior. As godly women, we must care a whole lot more about our inward beauty rather than our outward beauty. The Apostle Paul even encourages this of wives in order to win their disobedient husbands. Yes, most men enjoy their wives looking feminine but what they enjoy even more is having a wife who is gentle, kind, and loving. And you know what God wants us to adorn ourselves with? For after this manner in old time the holy women also, who trust in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands (1 Peter 3:5). We must learn to adorn ourselves by living in subjection to our husbands rather than wasting a lot of time and money beautifying our outward appearance.

What does a meek and quiet spirit look like? I know I sure want to have one. If it’s important to the Lord, it’s important to me.

Barnes’ Notes on the Bible describes a meek and quiet spirit this way: “Of a calm temper; a contented mind; a heart free from passion, pride, envy, and irritability; a soul not subject to the agitations and vexations of those who live for fashion, and who seek to be distinguished for external adorning.”

As you can see, the opposite of having a meek and quiet spirit is feminism! We are called to not allow our emotions and feelings control us, but to control our emotions and feelings instead and make them subject to godliness. A contented mind comes from being satisfied with what the Lord has given us for godliness with contentment is great gain. The way to be freed from passion, pride, envy, and irritability is to be in the Word consistently and allow it to transform us into His image. Let’s not care about the latest fashions as much as we do about modesty and pleasing the Lord in everything. Finally, growing older shouldn’t cause us distress since it is part of God’s magnificent plan for us! Gray hair and wrinkles are fine. I know. I have them and you know what, I can still enjoy life!

Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Bible Commentary defines a meek and quiet spirit this way: “meek, not creating disturbances: quiet, bearing with tranquility the disturbances caused by others. Meek in affections and feelings; quiet in words, countenance, and actions.” Our culture is not quiet. Everyone is yelling for and demanding their “rights” as if they are owed something for doing nothing. Godly women don’t demand anything. They quietly work at home and do what the Lord has called them to do.

I love what Timothy Hammons wrote about the National Day of Women that was just celebrated by many women refusing to show up for work to show the world just how important they are in the workforce. “In honor of National Women’s Day, I would like to praise all the women who forego the world’s call to false importance and choose to live God-honoring lives by staying home, raising their children, and submitting to their husbands as to the LORD.

These are the true women of importance. Instead of seeking their own glory, they seek to serve their children and husbands in all humility. This is what is pleasing to the LORD. They don’t protest. They don’t grandstand for false causes. They know that their true happiness is doing what God has called them to do in being mothers and wives. They know that the most important calling on a woman’s life is the family. They know that they are raising and shaping the minds of the next generation. They are not led astray by the false promises of the world. They know their Savior and follow His direction for their lives.”

Stephen Martin wrote this on my Facebook page yesterday: “A woman who is this way has a strong effect on the masculine spirit of a man. The masculine energy is aggressive and problem solving. It fights opposing masculine energy. But it receives and loves a feminine, cooperative energy. Furthermore, the feminine energy has the ability to subdue the aggression of the masculine. The more aggressive a man is, the more emotional. When the woman allows herself to be subdued, that aggressive energy in the man switches from combat to immense love for the woman.”

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation (behavior) of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.
1 Peter 3:1, 2

Detestable Sexual Fantasy Movies

Detestable Sexual Fantasy Movies

Women can easily be deceived since it is easier for us to be led by our emotions and feelings. (It is good to be aware of this, women.) This is why women are not to teach nor be in authority over men. Then there’s this verse: “For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers (various) lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth” (2 Timothy 3:7). Ken and I read these verses yesterday why younger widows are commanded to get married quickly: “At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention” (1 Timothy 5:13). Finally, we all know the verse about foolish women tearing their homes down with their own hands.

God has given women a lot of power for good or evil and unfortunately, many use it for evil. Let’s not be one of them. Let’s be godly women who know the Word, learn it from godly male preachers and teachers, and study the Word for ourselves. Let’s not be swayed by the new television shows, books, and movies that have lurid sexual scenes. Let’s keep our eyes on the good and the lovely in life!

The second movie to Fifty Shades is coming out on Friday, I just saw but I won’t be reading anything about it because I have no interest to do so. Just as I warned women to not watch Lady Gaga’s Super Bowl half time performance (based upon past behavior and God’s command to us to flee sexual immorality and immodesty), I am warning you to stay far from this movie along with all movies and television shows like it.

Nudity and sex are for marraige, period. I was just reading an article that “Millennials are 48% more likely to have sex before a first date than all other generations of singles.” Sex has become no big deal for them. Meet someone they are attracted to and have sex with each other. I can never even imagine doing this. I was raised knowing sex was for marriage and that it was sacred. God ordained it to be for the marriage bed only, not to participate in outside of marriage or watch others participate in it on the big screen.

The article goes on to say, “We have a real misunderstanding of Millennials, I think they are very career oriented, so sex before the first date could be a sex interview, where they want to know if they want to spend time with this person.” They have lost their way and are stumbling around in the darkness, thanks to their parents not teaching them to value themselves enough to not just give it all away for free. No matter how hard they try, there will always be an emotional and spiritual component to sex because God created us to be emotional and spiritual beings made in His image. The farther they run from Him, the worse their lives become for we reap what we sow.

If you have read the Bible for very long, you will notice that God usually puts nakedness and shame together concerning God’s judgment; “Your nakedness will be uncovered, Your shame also will be exposed; I will take vengeance and will not spare a man” (Isaiah 47:3). Once Adam and Eve sinned, they saw their nakedness and were ashamed. Nakedness should still cause shame for us, as well as immodestly. We are called to be shamefaced which is the opposite of immodest. We are to be modest and not draw attention to our bodies. The only person that should see our nakedness is our husband and this we give freely to him.

Besides covering our nakedness, we should not find pleasure in watching others participating in sexual immorality. In Romans 1, Paul has explained the progression of sin to us and how many will know the truth but “hold it in unrighteousness.” They will rebel against the truth and God will give them over to reprobate/depraved minds. At the end of the chapter is a list of sins that they will be given over to and the chapter ends with “Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them.” Do not have pleasure in watching other people sin on a screen or read about it in a book! It will NOT make your sex life better.

Instead, take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. God tells us to flee sexual immorality for a reason. Sex within His boundaries (marriage) is good and healthy. Sex outside of those boundaries is wrong and evil with all types of serious consequences. “For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption” (Galatians 6:8) Also, when you are filling your mind with other people’s sexcapades, you are hurting your own sexual relationship with your husbands with “vain imaginations.”

Marriage is to be held in honor among all, and the marriage bed is to be undefiled;
for fornicators and adulterers God will judge.

Hebrews 13:4

It is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God.
Hebrews 10:31

The Harm in Worldly Finery

The Harm in Worldly Finery

“Moreover the LORD saith, Because the daughters of Zion are haughty, and walk with stretched forth necks and wanton eyes, walking and mincing as they go, and making a tinkling with their feet: Therefore the Lord will smite with a scab the crown of the head of the daughters of Zion, and the LORD will discover their secret parts” (Isaiah 3:16, 17).

These women were the opposite of modest. They were proud and evil. Matthew Henry wrote this about them. “Let them know that God notices the folly and vanity of proud women, even of their dress. The punishments threatened answered the sin. Loathsome diseases often are the just punishment of pride. It is not material to ask what sort of ornaments they wore; many of these things, if they had not been in fashion, would have been ridiculed then as now. Their fashions differed much from those of our times, but human nature is the same. Wasting time and money, to the neglect of piety, charity, and even of justice, displease the Lord. Many professors at the present day, seem to think there is no harm in worldly finery; but were it not a great evil, would the Holy Spirit have taught the prophet to expose it so fully?” 

God makes it very clear to us throughout His Word what He values and what He hates. We know He hates pride and now we know that He hates worldly finery. There are many verses in the Word about the love of money and how we are not to serve money but God alone. “And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth” (Luke 12:15).

Part of pride and loving money is using it to draw others’ attention towards ourselves. He commands that women be shamefaced (“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array” – 1 Timothy 2:9) which means “having or showing a moderate or humble estimate of one’s merits, importance, etc.; free from vanity, egotism, boastfulness, or great pretensions.” This not only speaks about our clothing but everything else in our lives and is the complete opposite of the daughters of Zion. Strive to be modest in all areas!

Besides being modest in how we clothe ourselves; modesty means being modest in how much money we spend on ourselves. We don’t need the latest and greatest fashions since this world isn’t our home. We are strangers and aliens just passing through and there are more important things to spend our money on than fancy clothes and the vanities of this life. Besides, how many clothes do you really enjoy wearing? I have heard that 10% of the clothes that people own are worn 90% of the time!

We went to Wisconsin this past summer and were planning on staying there for two and a half weeks so I packed enough clothes for that in one suitcase, along with makeup, vitamins, food, pillows, and only brought two pairs of shoes. We ended up staying almost seven weeks and I did great with the amount of clothes I had. It was so easy to decide what to wear each day and we had so fewer clothes to clean! Many of us have way more than we need and so give away everything you don’t use or wear and stop buying stuff.

We are to be “free from ostentation or showy extravagance” in everything! This includes in the homes we live in. Instead of spending a fortune on making our homes into model homes, God calls us to be generous and help those in need. Our homes don’t need to be constantly updated to look exactly like the homes you see remodeled on the television. (I know many of you do a lot of it on your own and frugally. It mostly comes down to a heart issue. Where is your heart? Are you using your money to keep up with the Jones or to bring glory to the Lord? Does your gorgeous, expensive home sit empty all day or is your home a place of ministry to your family and others?) If you have a roof over your head, food in your refrigerator, running hot water, a comfortable bed, and clothes on your back, you are wealthier than most of the world and even the kings of old. Be thankful and content living modestly in your home.

Modesty also means “having or showing regard for the decencies of behavior and speech.” Act decently in all that you do since others are watching you, especially your children; speak decently to everyone since no unwholesome word should ever come from our mouths (Ephesians 4:29). Don’t flirt with other men but be faithful to your husband.

Live contently on a limited or moderate amount of money your husband makes. Save money by showing self-restraint in eating a modest amount of food. Don’t be a glutton and waste food, plus being harmful to your health. Be modest in your exercise. Yes, exercise is beneficial and needed but it doesn’t have to be in the extreme. Be modest in the amount of sleep you get. You don’t need a ton of sleep or you will become lazy and waste precious daylight to get your work done (Proverbs 24:33). Be modest in how many clothes, makeup, perfume, and stuff you own. Don’t store your treasures (worldly finery) on earth since they can draw your heart away from the Lord and the things of this world will all burn one day. Store your treasures in heaven where they belong!

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.
Matthew 6:19-21

Yoga Pants – A New Kind of Modern Vanity

Yoga Pants – A New Kind of Modern Vanity

yoga

Women wear yoga pants these days and they wear them every day and every where. I’m not sure about you but I wouldn’t dare wear them out in public like many women do today. My main reason for not wearing them is how immodest they are because they show every single curve of a woman’s front and back side; some are worse than others. Yes, honest men will tell you that they are immodest as well. Kerry Folan has another reason why women shouldn’t be wearing yoga pants all the time. She wrote an article in the Washington Times called Yoga pants are comfy. They’re also an assault on manners and a nihilistic threat.

Yes, I had to look up what nihilistic means since it’s not a word I use. The definition: “rejecting all religious and moral principles in the belief that life is meaningless.” Wow! I thought I was hard on yoga pants! She in essence wrote that women wear yoga pants because they’re too lazy to get dressed and look put together. They care more about their comfort than anything or anyone else. I agree with her. Yoga pants aren’t something that women should be wearing outside of their home or exercise class. They are classless.

We, as Christian women, should care more about others than we do ourselves. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves (Philippians 2:3). When women wear yoga pants, they are not thinking about anybody else but themselves. They don’t care about all the men who will see them and either have to look away or possibly lust. They don’t care about the grandparents who will see them and wonder what happened to having manners and putting proper clothes on for the day. Women who don’t wear yoga pants and are modest won’t enjoy having their husbands see other women in yoga pants.

“Yoga pants make a statement about comfort and modernity. When we board a flight or run to the grocery store swaddled in cotton-lycra, we are saying to the people around us that our own comfort is our first priority. We are expressing a new kind of modern vanity where dressing down, rather than dressing up, is the power move.”

We, as Christian women, are the representatives of Christ on this earth. We should look different than the women of our day and dress in a way that brings glory to the Lord, not dishonor. We should care about our clothing, how it affects others, and how others perceive us.  We don’t live for ourselves and our own comfort. We aren’t selfish – looking out for number one. No, we’re looking out for others and care about them and yes, even their husbands.

Every morning, I get dressed. I put on a bit of makeup, brush my hair, and put on clothes that are appropriate to be seen in public. I stay this way all day long until I go to bed and I’m mostly home all day. The only time I wear sweat pants all day is when I am sick. (I don’t ever wear yoga pants.) If I can do this, you can too!

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1 Timothy 2:9, 10

The Shame of Public Nakedness

The Shame of Public Nakedness

shameWritten by Kenneth Wieske

A woman walked into my study a few days ago. She was nearly naked, wearing only a bra and panties.

There is just one woman in the world who, while dressed like this, can be around me: my wife. But the woman who walked into my study a few days ago was not my wife. I was very embarrassed.

She, however, was not embarrassed at all. Let’s call her: “Shameless.”

The reason Shameless was not embarrassed was because she had swallowed the lie of our modern society. This lie says the following: if the bra and panties are the same color and made of a fabric that can be used in water, then walking around in them is completely different than walking around in underwear because they are, after all, swimwear.

Shameless is a professing Christian, yet, because she has bought into this lie, she has no problem exposing her body to the whole world. I imagine she might be embarrassed to walk in the mall, or visit her grandparents, dressed only in her bra and panties. But for some reason, she does not see any problem in choosing a photo of herself dressed this way as her Facebook profile photo.

That’s how she came into my office: by my computer screen.

I have hundreds of “friends” on Facebook that I hardly know. I accept friend requests from anyone who professes to be Christian, because I want to expand my network of contacts so I can promote the work of the various Reformed organizations and institutions I work with.

However, when a contact posts things on Facebook that promote indecent thoughts, or attitudes or actions that are not Christian, I delete them immediately.

Three reasons:

Let me share with you the reasons why I deleted Shameless.

Her body belongs to her husband.

If she is not married, she must keep her body for her future husband (1 Cor 7:4). Her body is not to be exposed for the world to see, much less is to be displayed on my computer screen.

My passion belongs to my wife.

Seeing the body of another woman does not promote my sanctification or edify my marriage (Prov. 5:15-20; Job 31:1). God created man so that he experiences a very strong reaction when he sees the body of a woman. This reaction within marriage is beautiful and promotes true love. Outside of marriage it is shameful and brings destruction and sorrow.

In this world, mired as it is in immorality and sexual perversion, vigilance is necessary for a man to keep his sexual purity. When other women present themselves almost naked to him, that surely does not help in his fight against sin.

Public nakedness is a denial of Christ’s work.

When man fell into sin, his nakedness was exposed. God then gave clothes to cover the shame of Adam and Eve. An animal had to die so that their nakedness was covered. This was a foreshadowing of Christ’s work, in which He was exposed and naked on the cross, taking upon Himself our shame, and shedding his blood for us so we could be covered with the white robes of His righteousness.

The way we dress reflects something about our understanding of the Gospel. When Christian men and women expose their bodies in public, they are obscuring the manifestation of the power of Christ’s work in their lives – instead of dressing in decent apparel, with modesty and good sense, they mimic the world, which glories in its shame.

Conclusion:

Sadly, many readers will find this article too radical. Christian women can’t wear bikinis? Men should vigilantly avoid looking at such exposed women?

There’s a reason this seems radical: we’re so mired in worldliness that we don’t even notice it. Today’s worldly, superficial Christianity produces worldly, superficial Christians. However Christianity as taught by Christ and his apostles is a total transformation of life in all respects, accompanied by a radical commitment to holiness. The change in us is not meant to be a slight one – we are to be transformed into something else entirely: “Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creature; the old things passed away; behold, new things have come” (2 Cor 5:17a). Now that’s radical! And that is Christianity!

For many walk, of whom I often told you, and now tell you even weeping, that they are enemies of the cross of Christ,
whose end is destruction, whose god is their appetite, and whose glory is in their shame, who set their minds on earthly things.

Philippians 3:18, 19

Used with permission from Reformed Perspective
The original title was “Facebook and the 7th Commandment”

The Time I Was Never Nearly Raped

The Time I Was Never Nearly Raped

movie

Amazon allows anyone to write a review of a book without purchasing it, so I am receiving a number of one star reviews from trolls who haven’t read my book but are on a crusade to discredit it. I mostly ignore the trolls, and my sister warned me to not read their reviews. (She just finished my book and loved it!) No one likes being continually insulted and slandered, however, but when I read Paul’s persecution my woes cannot compare. God is never surprised, especially by opposition.“Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory.” (2 Corinthians 4:16, 17)

There is one review (yes, I peeked), however, that I want to respond to since it is so far from reality. (I have no idea how they know about this incident in my book since they were not listed as a “verified purchase” on Amazon but somehow trolls will stop at nothing to find out any possible dirt in the lives of those they hate in order to destroy, just as the enemy of our soul does.) “Lastly, her description of the near-rape horrified me and I am terribly sorry that she had to go through that. But I heard absolutely nothing about whether or not she went straight to her parents, his parents, the principal of the school, and the police, who should all have been IMMEDIATELY informed. In doing so, you not only protect others, but you might also save the poor guy from a life behind bars. She says nothing about the aftermath of this, and I believe that is crucial to her credibility. I am waiting to hear about what happened here… I am hoping she will clarify this.”

So let me clarify this for her as I was hardly “near-raped,”and there was nothing to report to anyone. The summer before I turned sixteen, I was going to the beach often with a group of high school friends. One of the boys in the group was good-looking and I had a crush on him. My mom would not let me date until sixteen, so on my sixteenth birthday he asked me out and of course, I was excited to go. He took me to the drive-in theater where, for you who are too young to know, we watched movies from the comfort of our car.

As the movie began, we snuggled up together and soon after, he began to kiss me. The next thing I knew he slowly push me over on my back, my feet still firmly planted on the floor of the car, and immediately I knew this was not something I wanted or was enjoying. I said to him, “I don’t want to do this. Please take me home now.” He immediately pulled himself up, started the car, and angrily drove me home. That’s it. No attempt to feel me, no trying to undress me, just a bit too frisky and aggressive for this young and inexperienced teenager. I felt no fear, but certainly was disappointed that this guy who I had liked had a bigger interest in making out than he did in enjoying the evening with me. (I had a lot to learn about guys!) We never dated again.

So I appreciate the insincere troll’s comment trying to make a big to-do about nothing as it gives me the opportunity to not only set the record straight but to give my views on this important matter. To say this is near-rape is not only maliciously wrong, but it minimizes all the women who are truly raped or “nearly raped.” Imagine if every woman who had a man make an unwanted  sexual advance to them simply said, “I don’t want to do this. Please take me home now,” and the man’s response was to start the car and take her home. Is this not proper dating etiquette or has feminism taken us so far that we are to have all men everywhere ask permission before making any affectionate advances?

“Hey, Lori, do you mind if I kiss you now?

“I like the feel of your warmth on my shoulder, can we hug now?”

If you have grown up in highly-sexualized America without any godly parental teaching, you understand that many guys will try to go as far as they can with the women they date. Unless we want to legislate all physical relationships in dating, we have to recognize that worldly “love” has a sexual component to it. Do we really expect every young woman who finds herself in my situation to have her mom call the high school principal each time a guy tried to make out with her?

“Hi, Principal Smith, this is Mrs. Falk and my daughter went out on another date this week with one of your students who stepped over the bounds of being a gentleman by pushing himself on top of her. I know this is my sixth report this year, but just because my daughter is a cheerleader does not mean these guys should be trying to take advantage of her. Are you talking to their parents?”

“I am so sorry to hear this, Mrs. Falk, but you can call his parents directly and discuss this with them. Is this something the police should be involved with?  

“Oh, no. Once Lori told him to stop and take her home, he stopped and took her home.”

“Well, maybe you should encourage your daughter not to date, or to make clear to her dates exactly what is and is not acceptable to her before the date starts.”

If this was a Christian high school, I might see it but really, a public school with a thousand hot-blooded testosterone filled teenager guys? This would be impossible for any school to police. My mom grew up before the 60s sexual revolution but she still understood young men and their sexual attraction to females. That’s what young guys and girls do unless they are taught otherwise.

Anyone who reads what I write knows that we taught our children to not go out on single dates until they were eighteen years old, and even then encouraged them to only single date the godly ones they thought were potentially marriage material. They knew all about modesty and keeping the marriage bed pure which includes before marriage. I was not brought up with this stronger coaching, so I had to say “No” to most of the guys I dated.

We have just as big a problem today it seems with female teasing and promiscuity leading guys on. Guys still need to stop when told “No” but young women who claim to be Christians must stop wearing the skimpy thong bathing suits in front of the young men or a bra-less dress or shirt that the guys can look right down into and see everything, then wonder why the guys are making unwanted sexual advances. Entrapment is illegal for police and it should be illegal for women too. To believe that men must just control themselves no matter how a woman dresses or acts is just plain wrong. Did I lead some of my dates on by my skimpy cheerleading outfits, short shorts, and flirting? I am sure I did, but thank God the guys I dated still had the moral fiber to respect a woman when she said, “Okay, that is enough.” For godly young adults, it is far better to group date and stay away from any dating just to date. Instead, only single date those who are marriage material and godly, and if they make unwanted sexual advances, maybe you need to reconsider if this is the one for you.

My near-rape experience is a figment of a troll’s imagination, but it points out a huge issue in today’s world. Our world has much real sexual abuse, and no sex before marriage is defensible. But it does a huge disservice to society to create sexual abuse in places it does not exist. Let’s be protective, but let’s not try to change the world into one that takes the minor and blows it up into something it is not. Practicing sin is the condition of the unredeemed heart and that condition will only change when Jesus enters the heart and makes it brand new. We as believers live in this world, so let’s be careful and cautious, not be naive to the world’s ways. Don’t be swayed when it comes to insincere trolls who violate their own values to try to deceive others just because they dislike what the church has taught for the last 20 centuries until now, the “New Age of Women” which is not godly at all.

Women Wanting to Do What is Right in Their Own Eyes

Women Wanting to Do What is Right in Their Own Eyes

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Many women are rebellious today and want to do what is right in their own eyes. They are rebellious to all types of authority and they don’t want to be told what to do: what to wear, what to do with their bodies, and what to do with their lives. They want to do what they want to do regardless of who it hurts in the process. One example is from a man who wrote about his disgust with so many women wearing yoga pants.

‘‘Yoga pants belong in the yoga studio,’’ Alan Sorrentino wrote. ‘‘What’s next? Wearing a ‘Speedo’’ to the supermarket? Imagine if men did that. Yuck!’’ If I had heard a man say this and I have, I would be cheering and agreeing with him! The editor of the article, however, wrote, “The letter, which said adult women wearing yoga pants in public was comparable to men wearing Speedos to the grocery store, went viral. The backlash was immediate, passionate, and international.” Of course it was immediate, passionate, and international. Anyone who confronts women with the way they live is means for revolt in their eyes. This is how many are with me because I teach godly principles and God’s design for them. They were “immediate, passionate, and international” and nasty and mean about my homemaking post that went viral.

I wrote an entire chapter in my book on modesty since women are not taught modesty anymore. I warned about yoga pants since I know they are not modest and cause men to stumble. It’s a little tough on guys to continually avert their eyes when almost every single women they see is wearing them no matter what they look like in them. And what did the women do in response to this comment? They held a “yoga pants parade” in front of his house and flaunted all different colors of yoga pants for all to see. “On no, you can’t tell women what to do with their bodies.” Why, if they want to have their unborn babies murdered just because they don’t want a baby, they should be able to have them murdered. It’s their bodies!

“It was supposed to be funny, Sorrentino said, because what kind of ‘tormented, uptight individual’ could possibly care enough about yoga pants to write such a letter?” I am sure he toned it down once he saw the vitriol response to his words. Those “tormented, uptight individuals” who should care about them are those women who want to obey the Lord and not cause men to stumble. Yes, this is very foreign in today’s culture since most women are taught to be independent and do their own thing since the women’s liberation movement  freed them from the shackles of modesty, motherhood, marriage, and all the other things that they believed held women in bondage.

“I don’t get involved in much in the way of protests and marches and all of that, but this just brought me out because the guy’s letter was offensive,” said one woman. Most everything that is good, decent, and the Lord’s ways are offensive to women today. Try to teach Titus 2:3, 4 to younger women and see all the offended women come out of hiding. The things that should offend them, like evil, don’t offend them anymore. “It was the shaming and the policing of women’s bodies that struck a chord with the attendees,” said another woman. No, never tell women what is good and right and what the Lord requires of them since they are their own god now and decide what is right.

Notice the signs in the article that the women are holding at their parade; “We Wear What We Want.” Pure selfishness with no concern for anyone else. Yes, wear thong bikinis, skin tight, and short short anything because this is their right! “Love Yourself.” Do whatever they “feel” like doing since this is loving themselves. “It shows the vein that it tapped into.”  Anything that goes against their “rights” is a vein that we aren’t supposed to mess with, unless you are a brave older women who knows that the Lord’s ways are best for younger women regardless of how many are rebelling against them.

Every man did that which was right in his own eyes.
Judges 17:6

He that loves discipline loves knowledge, and he that hates reproof is a fool.
Proverbs 12:1