Are Husbands Powerless to Do Anything?

Are Husbands Powerless to Do Anything?

If a man is married to a woman who spends money like crazy (money they don’t have) and is putting the family deeply into debt, is there nothing he can do about it? If a man has a wife who goes out drinking with her friends frequently and comes home drunk, is the husband powerless to do anything?

Last week, I posted an old post on Facebook called “Should Husbands Ever Discipline Their Wives?” I have hesitated writing about this again because it brings up so much controversy but then I reminded myself that this has never bothered me before. I try to seek the truth from God’s Word and His alone.

God created the husband head over the wife. He is her leader. She is to obey him and submit to him in everything. This is God’s ordained authority structure in the home. But many women balk at the idea of a husband “disciplining” his wife. Before I go on, I want to make it clear that I am NOT speaking about any form of physical abuse. I will never support this. I am writing about a husband trying to stop a wife from doing bad behavior.

When I wrote about this years ago, I was surprised to see such negative reactions from even godly wives about the word “discipline.” Our current society only typically uses the word “discipline” in two scenarios: 1) Disciplining a disobedient child (the term typically used for spanking) and 2) Self-deprivation for the purpose of reaching a goal (i.e. running a marathon, losing weight, etc.). Discipline that I am writing about is similar to the word “intervene” or using means to change bad behavior as God does for us. “For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, and He scourges every son whom He receives” (Hebrews 12:6).

When a citizen of a government speeds way too fast down a highway and is caught, he is disciplined by the government and has to pay a steep fine to hopefully teach him a lesson. When a student misbehaves in the classroom, the teacher finds some way to discipline them (going to the principle’s office, missing out on recess, etc.), in  hopes of stopping the student from misbehaving. When an employee is continually late to work, they will be disciplined by their boss in some way, maybe even be fired.

All those in authority have some type of disciplinary actions they use upon those under them when they break the “rules” so why would it be different in a marriage? Some may say a husband is simply supposed to pray and hope the Lord will convict and change the wife. No, this is God’s prescription given to women in 1 Peter 3:1 who are married to difficult men. They are to win them without the word by having godly behavior. Men are never given this prescription when they have disobedient wives. (Of course, women in difficult or destructive marriages can seek outside help and even separate if need be.)

Women will write, “My husband would NEVER discipline me.” Then that’s fine! Hopefully you aren’t a rebellious wife and if he doesn’t feel comfortable holding you accountable for any of your bad behavior or trying to stop it, then that should be his decision to make.

Our culture has made men impotent. Feminism has made men impotent to do anything to lead their homes. “Oh, but husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church.” Yes, how does Christ love the church? “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent” (Revelation 3:19). Part of loving is disciplining – trying to stop bad and/or destructive behavior. The wife does this by speaking the truth in love (yes, I absolutely believe a wife can call out a husband’s sin and speak the truth in love and then allow God to convict and change her husband) but I believe a husband has the authority to do more. A requirement for a leader in the church (male) is to be known for ruling his own house well (1 Timothy 3:4).

Now, I am only going to give a few examples of what I believe a husband can do if he has a wife that could use some discipline. If his wife is spending way more money than they make, he has the authority to cut up the credit cards and put her on a budget. (Now, this doesn’t apply to cruel husbands who are causing their wives to live in bondage and hardly have a penny to their name. In this case, a wife needs to seek outside help.) If a wife goes out frequently and gets drunk with her friends, the husband can take away the car keys and money before she goes. He has the responsibility to do what he can to stop this destructive cycle. If a wife is way too harsh in her discipline of the children, a husband needs to show leadership and step in and stop her. If a wife is a horrible housekeeper and her house is a disaster because she spends all day on her smart phone, then a husband has the duty to take away her smart phone. If a husband asks a wife to not put the knives in the dishwasher but she continues doing it, he has every right to not buy her a dishwasher and no, this isn’t abuse! Women have been washing dishes by hand for centuries.

So, yes, absolutely I believe a husband has the authority to discipline his wife in a way that isn’t physically abusive. He is head over her and God has put him in authority over her. He will be held accountable for how he has led her. It isn’t love to allow her to continually get away with bad behavior if there’s something he can do to help her stop it.

 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her.
Ephesians 5:25

Live Your Dreams. Forget Children.

Live Your Dreams. Forget Children.

Almost every young Christian woman that I have ever known has wanted to experience college, a career, and traveling which is simply another way to explain the feminist lifestyle. These were their goals. Very few of them ever said they only wanted to marry and raise children. The feminist lifestyle is not from the Lord. He never calls young women to go to college, pursue careers, and travel. No, He tells us that marrying and bearing children are what young women are called to do. Unfortunately, there are very few of us encouraging young women to marry and bear children and we are ridiculed when we do.

Read these sad words from Ellie Bufkin in her article People Told Me to Live My Dreams, But Never To Dream of Having Kids who heeded the mantra that feminism proclaims to young women everywhere, even those in the Church.

“Since I was young, I’ve heard a non-stop stream of encouragement for me, as a ‘modern woman,’ to take charge of my own life, live independently, and chase my dreams. This seems like the obvious advice we should give children, except that many people spent so much time chasing their dreams and creating their bespoke lives that they forgot to have children.

“While growing up in the suburbs, my post-scholastic dream did not consist of finding a partner and having babies. I wanted to see the world, experience many cultures, and live without having to worry about caring for anyone else. I ended up in a fast-paced career with a propensity for hard partying, late hours, and a taste for travel and luxury.

“As years ticked by, I assumed my perfect life would simply fall into place when I was ready, my career would steadily improve, and I would be swept off my feet by a perfect man. I had many friends with the exact same expectations for their lives, and today, we are pretty much all still single and childless.”

Then here are some wise words from Mary Pride in her book The Way Home and her views about having and raising children compared to the feminist lifestyle and lies:

“The real reason that couples are so attracted to family planning has nothing to do with the Bible. It has to do with fear. We’re afraid that we can’t afford a large family. We’re afraid that we wouldn’t be able to control so many children. Some of us fear that without family planning we would have to give up cherished parts of our present lifestyle…Have babies and raising them takes precious time away from their sadly shallow goals in life, which are, in the words of two evangelical feminists, ‘pursuing individualistic interests and making their own name for themselves.’

“We are the richest people in history, yet the most fearful about the costs of child-rearing. Perhaps it’s because we don’t realize how superfatted our lifestyles are, and how little our children really need in order to grow happy, healthy, and godly.

“What ‘freedom’ do babies cost us? Do they interfere with our freedom to love and serve God? No; they interfere with our freedom to indulge ‘the lustful desires of sinful human nature,’ as Peter puts it, ranging from common childish selfishness to full-fledged adult depravity.

“Overpopulation is the great excuse for feminist barrenness. More than that, it is a slogan used to persecute those who hold out against a feminist lifestyle. The word overpopulation turns a couple who are sacrificing time, money, and energy out of love for their children into ‘selfish’ people who are ‘aggravating societal problems.”

As the author of The End Time wrote: “Happy is the woman who unashamedly says ‘I am a wife.’ ‘I am a mother.’ If we are not ashamed of the Gospel, we are not ashamed of any element within it, including the role He has given us to reflect His glory and image. ‘Just a mom’? Might as well say ‘Just a Christian’ when in fact being a woman, a wife, or a mother is all, because we have all, in Christ.”

Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.
Psalm 127:3

Ways to Save Money to Stay Home

Ways to Save Money to Stay Home

This post was written by a woman named Nunya who commented on my post Making It On One Income.

The biggest expense is the home. Don’t get a mortgage; don’t buy a large house. Buy a used mobile with cash if you can, fix it, live in it until you can afford to buy land, and then move your mobile onto the land until you can afford to build a home.

Use it up and go without. Don’t eat out. Grow your own veggies as much as you can.  Trade. We use one cell phone, whomever leaves the house takes it. I ditched cable when it went up to $50 a month. Repair your clothes and re-sole your shoes/boots at a cobbler. Have chickens if you can – use eggs to feed other animals/pets and yourself. I mix scrambled eggs with canned cat food for my cat. It stretches the canned food (earthborn), is healthier, and an egg is a complete protein for them.

Don’t vaccinate; it causes health problems in all animals. Eat healthy without chemicals. We buy used clothes. Make things, sell on Etsy – every little bit helps. Take fewer car trips for supplies. Borrow items that you cannot afford (wheel barrow, chain saw, lawn mower, etc.) Cut back on electricity and don’t use air conditioning unless you MUST. Heat with wood.

Do it yourself (fix it or learn how; YouTube is a great source). Do your own oil changes and vehicle maintenance and build your own things. Cut back on gift giving, trust me, people understand – make gifts or buy small gifts. Housing and heating is where we save the most $$. We never go to the movies. Hiking is free, so are many other activities.

Kids don’t mind used toys. We buy used video games and movies. We homeschool; my kids don’t have cell phones and they are never bored because they HAVE CHORES to do. Go to the library; don’t buy books or magazines. Play cards/board games/play outside. Price check around before you buy anything major, if you cannot buy it used. We get second hand stuff from family too, especially for the kids. Strive for self-sufficiency; aim for how they did it in the 1800s!

Count your blessings. 🙂

Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labour shall increase.
Proverbs 13:11

What is Your Definition of a Full Life 4 a Mom?

What is Your Definition of a Full Life 4 a Mom?

“Tonight we are celebrating the love of a chosen family & the fact that being a mother is a privilege & the most important thing you can gift your child is a mother who is not defined by being a mother but who has followed her dreams & who never has to apologize 4 being at work. To show your kids a mom with a full life without them is the only way to celebrate their full lives without us someday. Here’s to the brave mom’s out there. What is your definition of a full life 4 a mom? #Imwithyousister”

This is a tweet by an actress named Vanessa Marcil. Her definition of a full life as a mom is doing what she wants to do. Period. So children are blessed by having mothers who aren’t defined by being a mother but by a woman who bore them then left them in the care of others to raise them? She believes children who are abandoned by their mothers are “blessed” and that mothers who show their children that they have a completely different life apart from their children is good since it prepares them for a life without them. A life without a mother in childhood prepares them for a life without a mother in adulthood?

I don’t know about you but I was blessed because my mother didn’t abandon me for her “dreams.” We were her dream! Vanessa’s comments are so completely backwards that it’s hard for me to even comment on them but I can tell you what, women were thrilled with her very strange comment on Instagram and here are some of their responses.

“Full life for me is to take care of myself. To feel free and spontaneous. To not worry about everyone else around me …there are times I feel guilty for wanting that. It’s not easy being a mom and having to deal with the struggles and all the BS that comes with it. You tend to loose yourself because being a mom is rewarding but at the same time can also be a permanent 24 hr job that you just want to quit.”

“Now that I have had time to think about it my life is just all about my family, and helping others, maybe I do need something more.”

“Thanks to my loving, supportive husband, I been able to continue my education and have an Ed.S. My daughter knows how hard I worked for my education, and she know how much I gain (on a personal, emotional level) from teaching students. I am a better mom because of my career in education, and I think she understands that more and more.”

“Wow! You are truly an inspiration as a mom and a woman. Marry a man with money? ? two things- 1. Cause those women seem so happy. ? 2. The men I have been with who have money were the cheapest mfers on the planet. Cheap and petty. You marry for love and you work for love to set the right example for our kids. Martyr moms who ‘gave up their dreams for us’ raise needy children who also give up their dreams. ?No thank you.”

I asked the women in the chat room this same question and here were some of their answers:

Tammy: “That’s a loaded question but for me it’s being able to spend every day being loved by the father of my children. It’s seeing their joy and wiping their tears. It’s being the one who teaches them the alphabet, how to read, and what God does and who He is. It’s not giving anyone else the privilege of teaching them, protecting them, and having their greatest admiration and love. It’s having their company while we explore the world around us, see new things and cuddle. It’s embracing children as a great gift and joy rather than an interruption in life.”

Sarah: “Being home with her children, and thus constantly in the presence of the Lord (because without unceasing prayer this very full life will run us into the ground!) and providing for them a clean and comfortable place to grow, play and be truly, deeply loved. Having the freedom to provide a home environment that seems almost otherworldly so that my kids and husband come home and find the peace that isn’t at work or at school (though the freedom and privilege of homeschooling is also another part of full motherhood living in my opinion). The stability that comes from the fact that we can live this full, rewarding life without ever leaving our front porches is the icing on top ☺”

Sarah: “My toddler needed a nap, and my 11 year old wanted me to read to him. We snuggled up in my bed, read 4 chapters of Winter Danger (a wonderful book for boys) and the toddler drifted off to dream land, while my teenager does her work, and the 9 year old helps his dad stake tomatoes. That, is my definition of a full life.”

Nicole: “To find the will of God and to do it wholeheartedly. (Maria from the Sound of Music)”

Chelsea: “Waking up everyday getting to spend the entire day with my kids. Watching them play, hearing them laugh, making memories with them. Cooking them homemade meals and hearing ‘you’re the best cook in the world, mommy.’ Impatiently waiting to hear my husband’s truck pull into the driveway every day, peeking out of the window every few minutes with butterflies, hoping it’s him! Sitting down at the table together to eat the meal I cooked for the people I love the most. Hearing my children say grace in the sweetest tones with the most beautiful words that would make anyone proud. Laying in bed with my kids, telling wild tales and stories until they fall asleep, Getting to shower & go to bed every single night with the man of my dreams, talking and laughing until we drift asleep too.

“But it’s not just the ‘perfect’ moments that fulfill my life, it’s the chaos too. My three year old son, dumping a bottle of dirt and rocks on the counter I just cleaned and saying , ‘Here mommy, I got these for you!’ Ketchup somehow in their hair even after they just had a bath, watching my husband and the boys wrestle (a little too rough for my heart to handle); it’s all the moments that I know are moving way too fast. My life is full and I wouldn’t trade any bit of it for the world. I now have tears of happiness in my eyes 😭💕”

Cassie: “A full life for a mom is to have the privilege of having a huge influence in such a special person’s life. The ability to influence that life to live to their fullest potential while seeking out God’s will for their lives.”

Dolly: “A full life is a life that is dedicated to serving others. Jesus Himself came to serve others. Mothers are constantly serving and sacrificing for their husband and children. I believe there is no greater act of love.”

Johann: “I would respond being a real woman, it teaches me everything that being a feminist would not teach me: to be humble, patient, loving, selfless, to do things well and for the glory of God and not brag about myself. I could mention many things that feminism would not teach me. I’m really free doing everything for which God designed me. Being a feminist makes you unhappy.”

Kylene: “A full life is a life dedicated to the bigger picture: not what the mother wants and feels in the moment, but what will benefit her children and future generations over the decades. Will a career make her feel fulfilled in the moment? Maybe? But it means her children are being raised by daycare and schools instead of her. What will that mean in the long term? Children raised by people who don’t love, but are merely paid to ‘look after’ them while she seeks fulfillment elsewhere.”

“As for her, like most women, she had but one ambition. To be a good wife and a good mother, and to be beloved by her husband and children, was all she asked. [She was] a busy, affectionate, cheerful little housewife, whose voice would never be heard in the streets, but whose memory would always live in a few faithful hearts.”
~Elizabeth Prentiss

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
Proverbs 31:27, 28

Loving Mothers Raise Secure Children

Loving Mothers Raise Secure Children

“We are living at an unusual time in history, when great pressures are being brought to bear on us to offer up our children on the alter of mammon. We must not give in to this hideous idol, no matter how desperate our financial situation may seem…Though many day-care children spent many, many happy hours playing in my home, I would never willingly put my child through what I saw my little day-care children go through…Perhaps if every young mother had to do ten years of home day-care, a revival of sacrificial mothering would sweep across America.” (Helen Aardsma)

Many young women today don’t understand the impact of their choices upon their children. They haven’t been taught that they are the ones that should be raising and loving their children deeply which means sacrificing for them and being home with them instead of having others raise them. Even if a mother is home full time with her children, she stills need to focus upon loving them or God wouldn’t have had older women teaching young women to love their children.

My mom didn’t feel loved by her mother. Her mother may well have loved her very much but from the things she said to my mom and the way she treated her, she didn’t feel love from her and has struggled with insecurity her entire life, even at the age of 87 years old. My dad was an only child and deeply loved by his mother. He doesn’t have an insecure bone in his body. I felt deeply loved by my mom and am a secure adult.

I conducted a poll with the women in the chat room about this topic to see what their responses would be. The options were: 1) Loved by mom = grew up secure. (54  women); 2) Didn’t feel loved by mom or not loved by mom = grew up insecure. (60 women); 3) Loved by mom = grew up insecure. (19 women). So from my very unscientific poll, women grew up to be much more secure if they felt loved by their mothers than those who were not.

It makes common sense to me that those women who were deeply loved and cared for by their mothers would most likely grow up to be secure adults, especially if their mothers were home full time. (This wasn’t accounted for in the poll.) I know Dr. Brenda Hunter who wrote the book “Home By Choice” found the same thing to be true from her scientific studies.

It’s so important, women, to deeply love your children even if you don’t feel like you like them. Decide to be affectionate, tender, kind, and loving towards them. Remember, we don’t live by our feelings but by obedience. Your children, who you may love but not like so much, know how you feel about them. Most of us aren’t so good at hiding our feelings.

Some of these women who grew up not feeling loved, thus insecure, by their mothers became secure when they learned who they were in Christ. Teach your children from a young age who they are in Christ. Teach them their value and worth comes from Him and not what others will say about or to them. After feeling loved and secure in your love, then they will be prepared to go out into the world and be secure in who they are in Christ. They will remember that God promises to never leave nor forsake them.

Hug your teenage children. Smile at them when you see them. Let them see that you find joy in them. They still need your love and affection. The world is an insecure and scary place but if your children have a warm and loving home with an affectionate mother in it, these children will grow up secure and most likely emotionally stable.

Discipline and train them in love. Tell them that you are spanking them when they are young and disobedient because you love them so much. Build a loving relationship as they grow up so you’ll have a loving relationship when they are adults. This is how it goes with this eternal principle: We reap what we sow!

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children.
Titus 2:4

Do You Have a Sexless Marriage?

Do You Have a Sexless Marriage?

Written by Gary Thomas

Anna, a mother of five children all under eight years of age, is understandably tired. It’s impossible not to be tired if you  have five kids that young. She’s married to Michael, a rising lawyer and almost-certain future partner of a prestigious law firm. The problem Anna wants resolved is a common one: Michael has a high sex drive, and Anna has almost none. She’s understandably concerned that as Michael’s star at work rises, particularly with younger associates and interns, he could be targeted for sexual temptation. But she’s not concerned enough to have sex nearly as often as Michael would like.

“What do you think would make Michael happy?” I asked her.

“He told me he’d be happy with two times a week, ecstatic with three.”

“As opposed to the current…”

“Maybe once a month, if I’m honest.”

Once a month almost qualifies for a “sexless marriage.” (An accepted definition by most marital therapists is ten times a year or less.)

There were extenuating circumstances that we talked about, and things I could and did say later to Michael, but the image that Anna later told me most opened her eyes was this: I asked her to imagine her oldest son all grown up, married, and with small kids. He works a busy job and travels through a pornographic world. His vocation requires him to be around young, energetic women, he’s a star in their galaxy, and he also happens to have a high sex drive.

“Okaaaay…,” Anna said.

“You want your son to be a faithful husband and a man of integrity, right?”

“Of course.”

“And because you raised him right, he’s doing his best. But I want you to consider this: If your future daughter-in-law treated him like you’re treating Michael right now, would you be frustrated with her or grateful to her?”

Anna was silent for a long while, processing the question. He voice dropped two levels of softness when she replied, “Well, I wouldn’t be happy with her.”

(This is an excerpt from Gary Thomas’ book “A Lifelong Love.” From what I have read so far, it’s a fabulous book! Remember, treat your husband the same way that you want your future daughter-in-law to treat your son.)

Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
1 Corinthians 7:5

Why Organic Food is So Expensive

Why Organic Food is So Expensive

My mom fed us organic foods since the time I was five years old. I mostly eat organic foods and fed it to my children when they were growing up. Yes, it’s more expensive but I don’t want all of the toxic chemicals sprayed on foods that are conventionally grown.

I have been reading a book called “The Dirty Life: A Memoir of Farming, Food, and Love” by Kristin Kimball. Someone recommended it on one of the blogs I follow. It’s not a Christian book. She’s a feminist and they lived together before marriage. She didn’t want to take her husband’s last name since she liked her last name and none of her married friends took their husband’s last name. Her husband told her he would take her last name then because he didn’t want their children to have hyphened last names. (It shows the sorry state of today’s feminized culture.)

After they married, she wanted a break from her husband and went to Maui for a job but while there, she figured this out: “It wasn’t Mark or the farm or marriage I was trying to shake loose from but my own imperfect self, and even if I kept moving, she would dog me all the way around the world, forever.” So she went home.

They fought often about ways to do things on the farm even though he had farmed for many years and she had only been a city, career woman up until they met. It clearly shows the trouble when there is no leader or head. She finally realized another great truth after her time in Maui: “Without me to struggle against, without the constant chaos of our first growing season, without the pressure of our impending wedding, he seemed to have found his own steady rhythm. I worked my way into it, looking for the harmony this time, instead of conflict.”

This book is about a couple who decided they wanted to farm without any chemicals (toxic or  non-toxic) and grow almost all of their own food. They wanted to be able to sell the food year round to families so it’s quite an adventure that they took upon themselves. Their lives are difficult but rewarding. She learned to love it!

There are a few things that I want to point out from this book. The first one being God’s curse to man after the Fall. “And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return” (Genesis 3:19).

Now, read what she wrote about organic farming: “My existence, from daybreak to dark, became focused on the assassination of weeds. Before that first year, I’d filed ‘agriculture,’ in the card catalog of my head, in the same general place as ‘nature.’ As in many things, I was so wrong. Farming, I discovered, is a great and ongoing war. The farmers are continually fighting to keep nature behind the hedgerow, and nature is continually fighting to overtake the field. Inside the ramparts are the sativas, the cultivated plants, soft and vulnerable, too highbred and civilized for fighting. Aligned with nature, there are the weeds, tough foot soldiers, evolved for battle.”

Then she wrote why organic food is more expensive than conventionally grown food: “If you ever wonder why organic vegetables cost more, blame the weeds. The work on a conventional farm that can be done with one pass of the sprayer must, on an organic farm, be done continually, from germination to harvest, by physically disrupting the weeds.” It’s a lot easier to spray crops with a bunch of toxic chemicals that kill weeds than it is to deal with the weeds without the chemicals which this couple and many other organic farmers do. Organic farmers take on God’s curse and conventional farmers have learned how to avoid it with great cost to the health of many.

This couple’s cows grazed on clover and grass in the warmer weather and on hay (that they had made) during the cold months instead of on GMO corn like conventional cows are fed today. All of their animals ate the foods they were created to eat, thus the eggs and meat they provided were nutritious and building up of one’s health instead of tearing it down.

The toxic chemicals that conventional farmers use aren’t only killing the weeds. They are killing the worms which make the soil rich and full of nutrients and the crops soak up the toxic chemicals that people eat. The chemicals are killing our bees which are essential and they are polluting our environment. Then we wonder why cancer rates are so high today.

I shop at a locally owned health food store. All of their produce is organic and marked with labels that tell where and how far away the food was produced so we are getting food that isn’t sprayed with chemicals and is freshly picked. Along with eating organic foods, I have learned to make Einkorn Sourdough bread, kefir, fermented vegetables, and chicken broth. None of these things are very expensive but it’s worth it to do what I can for good health then leave the rest in the Lord’s hands. Man cannot improve upon food the way God created it to be eaten.

And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.
Genesis 1:29

Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given you all things.
Genesis 9:3

Women’s Ministry is Broken

Women’s Ministry is Broken

Written By Robert Truelove

The truth of the matter is we are all unprofitable servants, even when we are faithful to the master.

So likewise ye, when ye shall have done all those things which are commanded you, say, We are unprofitable servants: we have done that which was our duty to do.

—Luke 17:10

Jesus wants us to be faithful to our calling and humbly acknowledge that we are just doing what we are supposed to do. Herein is the problem that plagues the typical evangelical woman. She doesn’t know what her calling is, she is subsequently discouraged, and lives an unfulfilling life.

To address this problem we have the never ending series of “women’s ministries.” Women flock to these “ministries” in the hopes of gaining some sort of “breakthrough.” They are taught their purpose can be realized by either starting their own “women’s ministry” or working within one already established.

The entire paradigm of the “women’s ministry” is broken. It’s a vicious cycle. Women are trapped in the lies of feminism and find their Christian lives to be unfulfilling. They seek answers from a “women’s ministry” and are ultimately taught they will find fulfillment by involving themselves in “women’s ministry.” This doesn’t address the calling of the Christian woman and further obscures it.

But are not the mature women to “teach the young women” (Titus 2:4)? Oh yes, certainly…and here we find an answer when we look at the context…

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; that they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.

—Titus 2:3-5

A Christian woman should be taught to find her calling first and foremost IN HER HOME. The domestic duties of the home are her sphere of Christian leadership, for she is to be a “keeper of the home.” Her first ministry is to her husband and children as she loves and serves them as a Christian wife and mother. This is WHO the Christian woman ought to be!

This is the comprehensive witness of the Scriptures.

When a Christian woman seeks to “find herself” outside of the home, it is not piety but rebellion. Such women make poor wives and mothers but it doesn’t have to be that way.

Christian women who lay hold of their calling by faith, believing in God’s role for them, discover their purpose. Contentment and fulfillment will follow.

Strength and honour are her clothing;
and she shall rejoice in time to come.

—Proverbs 31:25

(Of course, Robert received MANY angry comments to this post, so he wrote the following in response because of course, the Proverbs 31 woman had a career, said many!)

I don’t think Proverbs 31 works as a good proof to encourage women to work outside of the home however. All of the things mentioned are part of the fulfillment of her domestic duties (which are quite extensive). It also speaks of the incredible competency of the godly woman.

That said, I realize there are many women, married and single who have to work outside the home. I’m sure this was a reality in the 1st century as well. Does this then negate the calling of women to the home?

What about single women? I was not particularly addressing single women nor do I feel that I need to qualify every iota since the Bible addresses this subject in the same way without stopping to qualify. See Titus 2:3-5…all young women aren’t married with children are they? Did Paul find it necessary to stop and qualify what he meant?

The reality is, the Bible is very controversial on this subject today because it speaks very plainly to it and the world hates it. I refuse to qualify it to the point it no longer means what it clearly means which is precisely what is being done today.

That wives are to submit to their husbands…somehow today means she has total veto power over all decisions.

Wives are to be the keeper of the home…somehow now means train as a young woman for a career, marry, and share the keeping of the home with the husband.

There is numerous absurdities like this being passed off under Biblical language. You’re not going see me doing that (by God’s grace I trust).

In the context of church history, it is an indictment to how off kilter our generation is that a post such as this would be considered highly inflammatory. I could post some citations from some of the most well respected pastors and theologians from church history on this subject that would make my post appear to be most gentle by comparison.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

Fight the Real Enemy in Your Marriage

Fight the Real Enemy in Your Marriage

From the best scene in the movie “The War Room” with a few of my additions in parenthesis.

“My question to you is this, in light of all these wrongs, does God still love Tony?” – Miss Clara

“We both know that he does.” – Elizabeth

“Do you?”

“Now, Miss Clara, you’re meddling. There’s love in my heart for Tony but it’s just buried under a lot of frustration.”

“So he needs grace.”

“Grace? I don’t know if he deserves grace.”

“Do you deserve grace?”

“Miss Clara, you have a habit of backing me up in a corner and making me squirm.”

“I felt the same way but the question remains, do you deserve grace? The Bible says that no one is righteous, no, not even one. (Once we believe in Jesus Christ as our Savior, we become the righteousness of God – 2 Corinthians 5:21). For we have all sinned, so really none of us deserves grace but we all still want God’s forgiveness. Elizabeth, it comes down to this, Jesus shed His blood on the cross. He died for you even when you didn’t deserve it and He rose from the grave and offers forgiveness and salvation for anyone who turns to Him. But the Bible also says we can’t ask Him to forgive us while refusing to forgive others. (Although once we are true believers in Jesus Christ, we are forgiven for every single sin we have and will commit.)”

“I know, Miss Clara, but that’s just so hard to do.”

“Yes, it is but that’s where grace comes in. He gives us grace and He helps us to give it to others even when they don’t deserve it. We all deserve judgment. That is what a Holy God gives us when we don’t repent and believe in His Son. I had to forgive Lee over some things and it wasn’t easy but it freed me, Elizabeth. There’s not room for you and God on the throne of your heart. It’s either Him or you. You need to step down and if you want victory, you are going to have to first surrender.”

“But, Miss Clara, do I just back off and choose to forgive and let him walk all over me?”

“God is a good defense attorney. Trust it to Him and then you can turn your focus to the real enemy.”

“The real enemy?”

“The one who wants to remain hidden. The one who wants to distract you and deceive you and divide you from the Lord and your husband. You see, that’s how he works. Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy and he is stealing your joy. He is killing your faith and trying to destroy your family. If I were you, I would get my heart right with God and you need to do your fighting in prayer and you need to kick the real enemy out of your home with the Word of God. (I don’t believe in rebuking the devil as Elizabeth did in the movie.) It’s time for you to fight, Elizabeth. It’s time for you to fight for your marriage. It’s time for you to fight the real enemy. It’s time for you to take off the gloves and do it!”

The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.
John 10:10

Raise Your Daughters Right

Raise Your Daughters Right

Written By K.B. Davis

Society is awash with talk of fathers raising their boys and sons right – teaching them how to treat women, work hard, be a provider, cook, clean, and tidy up after themselves.

Quite right and all well and good.

But I do not hear the equivalent for girls. So, who teaches women? I do not hear anything about raising daughters right, or teaching them to be clean, tidy, cook, and keep a home.

I do not hear about teaching girls to respect men, or to submit and obey their husbands. I don’t hear about teaching them to dress modestly, to be meek, chaste and humble.

I do not hear about teaching them not to be man-hating, victim-mentality feminists who have swallowed the lie of the world wholesale.

I don’t hear anything about teaching them to love themselves the way they are, rather than “toning” their skins and yearning to wear make up and lace wigs when they grow up.

Because right now, society is full of girls AND women who are more of the latter, and less of the former things mentioned above.

Some are downright lazy, extremely untidy, and can’t cook to save their lives. They have no idea what a “man” is, talk less of how to treat him. They have grown up with a sense of entitlement thinking a man is someone of the male gender who exists to please them and pander to their whims.

Some call themselves “slay queens “ or “slay mamas,” and their major skill seems to be taking selfies, dancing, twerking, and posting half naked pictures on Instagram; subliminally begging for attention. All they know is how to dress sexy, look good, and wear makeup.

Others fight and cuss each other out on social media, or spew out sexually explicit stuff without any decorum or modicum of self respect. Furthermore, women are now competing with men in the violence stakes – in regards to things like domestic violence and violent crimes in society.

So, who “raised” these girls and women? Ghosts?

The Bible says to “train up a CHILD in the right way, so when they are older, they will not depart from it”- Proverbs 22:6. It didn’t say to train up just boys and sons.

But more importantly, it tells the older women to TEACH the younger ones to be “humble, chaste, be homemakers, to love their husbands and be obedient to him”; among other things – Titus 2:3-5.

This is not opinion. It is Scripture.

Parents, raise your DAUGHTERS right. Mothers, raise your DAUGHTERS right. Not just your sons.

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