Being a Keeper at Home is Unproductive and Barbarous?

Being a Keeper at Home is Unproductive and Barbarous?

Do you know who proclaimed these words, that being a keeper at home is unproductive and barbarous? Vladimir Lenin, the founder of the Russian Communist Party, leader of the Bolshevik Revolution and architect and first head of the Soviet state, whereas God, the Creator of women, instructs them to be keepers at home. Once a people decide to do away with God and His Word, chaos and evil reigns as it does in communist countries and our country. You can argue with God’s plan for women all you want but God’s ways are always perfect for us for all time.

Here are two statements that Vladimir Lenin had to say about this topic.

“We must now say proudly and without any exaggeration that apart from Soviet Russia, there is not a country in the world where women enjoy full equality and where women are not placed in the humiliating position felt particularly in day-to-day family life.  This is one of our first and most important tasks…Housework is the most unproductive, the most barbarous and the most arduous work a woman can do. It is exceptionally petty and does not include anything that would in any way promote the development of the woman…The building of socialism will begin only when we have achieved the complete equality of women and when we undertake the new work together with women who have been emancipated from that petty stultifying, unproductive work…We are setting up model institutions, dining-rooms and nurseries, that will emancipate women from housework…These institutions that liberate women from their position as household slaves are springing up where it is in any way possible…Our task is to make politics available to every working woman.” 1

Do you understand what this means, women? All of you who are fighting for “equality” and “equal pay” and the right to vote and leadership positions for women in politics and government are fighting against God and destroying countries. Nothing good has happened since women left their homes and their children in the hands of strangers at preschools and public schools for these to teach and raise. God wants women at home full time raising their children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, not strangers, and certainly not a godless government.

God designed women for a very important reason and purpose: to bear and raise the next generation. Do you understand that nothing you can do can compare to this if you have been blessed with children? All children need and want their mothers home full time making their homes places of beauty, security, and peace.

“The chief thing is to get women to take part in socially productive labor, to liberate them from ‘domestic slavery,’ to free them from their stupefying [idiotic] and humiliating subjugation to the eternal drudgery of the kitchen and the nursery. This struggle will be a long one, and it demands a radical reconstruction, both of social technique and of morale. But it will end in the complete triumph of Communism.” 2

This is scary stuff and it’s happening in our country right now and most of us have fallen for these lies. Rebel against the thought that being a homemaker is “domestic slavery” and find and show joy in doing the mundane but significant in God’s eyes. The majority of women today, even Christian women, don’t feel worthwhile if they aren’t making money but God has never given the job of making money to women. There isn’t one verse in the entire Bible that commands women to be the providers. He gave this to men:

 And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also and thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field; In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return (Genesis 3:17-19).

What is the women’s job God has given them?

Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee (Genesis 3:16). Her important job is to have children, raise them, and live in subjection to her husband as a keeper at home and looking well to the ways of her household.

These roles are perfect, women. These roles raise up godly offspring if done joyfully to the Lord. Love your role at home. Enjoying making your home a welcoming place of beauty and peace for all who live there. Stick close to the Lord’s ways for you and be an example to a wicked culture. It wasn’t God or even feminism who was behind the mass exodus of women from the home. It was the enemy of their soul. Nothing is new under the sun. The same Devil who persuaded Eve to rebel against God has never let up trying to persuade women from their God ordained roles. No one can replace you in your home.

Therefore, my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in vain in the Lord.
1 Corinthians 15:58

1. Lenin’s Collected Works, 4th English Edition, Progress Publishers, Moscow, 1965, Volume 30, p. 4
2. Vladimir, Lenin. “International Working Women’s Day speech”, 1920
The Myth of Needing Two Incomes

The Myth of Needing Two Incomes

Happy Mama commented on one of my recent posts.  I thought it was so beautifully written that I would make it into a post.  I will let her words minister to you ~

Just commenting on some of the comments…It is sad to me that some people think that having two incomes is a necessity. You may need two incomes to keep up your current lifestyle, but you don’t need two incomes. You just have to learn to live within your means, which may mean getting rid of a second car, living in an apartment not a house, learning to cook simple meals, buying second hand-only things that are really needed.

My husband is disabled and we live on his disability income. It is extremely financially tight, but I would never leave my role as a homemaker for more money. I have found ways to help us earn a few extra dollars (selling things online) that has blessed my family without leaving my role as homemaker. (The Proverbs 31 woman made money through her extra work at her home.) I completely accept we will always live in an apartment; we will always live humbly. But nothing is more important than caring for my home and family.

A simple humble life with my loved ones is better than any big paycheck. People are what make life great, not things. As long as your husband has an income, however small, you can live off it. Nothing is more precious to me than raising my children and caring for my family.

After reading Money Saving Secrets of the Amish I was really inspired by even the things I think of as necessities. The Amish were asked if they could spend extra money on some luxuries what they would buy. One of the Amish mentioned a salad dressing they really liked, but was only a special treat. One of the ladies mentioned Ritz crackers. Even many food items aren’t necessities (I have always thought all food counts as necessities), but really if you look at how people who live the most humble eat ~ much of even the food bought and sold in America are luxuries. I was greatly encouraged to think more simply after reading this wonderful book, and it really made me think about what are true needs vs. wants, even with regards to food. Just wanted to share that too.

We need to get back to being unmaterialistic and living simply so we have time to enjoy the things in life that really make us rich!

She rises also while it is yet night, and gives food to her household.
Proverbs 31:15

Her Parents Taught Her Truth

Her Parents Taught Her Truth

Most younger people today are lost because they are not being taught truth; they are in emotional turmoil and trying to fill the void with drugs, alcohol, sex, and all types of destructive habits. It’s vital, mothers, to raise your children with truth. My friend, Carol, was raised by parents that clearly taught her truth.

She didn’t have to go searching for truth. Her parents taught her the Word consistently. They wanted their children to hide His Word deep in their hearts.

She wasn’t confused about what was right and wrong. Her parents were mature in their faith and they easily understood good from evil and taught their children these things so they too could easily discern truth from error.

She didn’t feel the need to fit in or be popular if it went against the truth. She knew that the path she was on was narrow and few choose to walk on it but it was the only path that leads to abundant life.

She didn’t have to search for the meaning in life. She knew her meaning was in Christ. Instead of searching for meaning within herself or in her culture, she looked to Christ; what He had done for her, and she knew, without a doubt, that she was deeply loved by Him.

She didn’t fear death. She knew where she was going. Her parents taught her all about the new earth where Jesus will be King and all of her tears, pain, and fears will be gone.

She didn’t need to let other people set her boundaries. Her parents set boundaries for her and they were from the Word of God. She knew about dwelling on the good and the lovely. She knew all about sexual purity and what the Lord expected from her. Those boundaries were for her protection and not to keep her from fun. She understood this clearly and was thankful for the boundaries from the Lord and not from the culture around her.

She didn’t need to try drugs to hide pain or find monetary joy. She knew the truth that Jesus was her source of joy.

Her parents modeled a godly, strong marriage. Her parents deeply loved each other. Her mother was home full time raising her siblings and her. Her dad was the spiritual leader of the family. Her parents set biblical boundaries for her and she didn’t have to guess what was right and wrong because her parents were consistently teaching them to her when she grew up. Her roots were deeply planted in the Word of God.

You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your sons may be multiplied on the land which the LORD swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens remain above the earth.
Deuteronomy 11:19-21

To My Steadfast Son

To My Steadfast Son

Dear Steven,

Thirty years ago, the LORD blessed me with you. You were a beautiful baby with lots of dark hair and I fell in love with you the moment I saw you. As you grew into toddlerhood, you laughed loudly and played hard. I can never recall you being mean to anyone since you were so tenderhearted from a very young age even towards your siblings. Your heart was as big as your personality! You loved to cuddle and were so affectionate. When you were sick all you wanted to do was to sit on my lap and be rocked. I treasure those sweet memories. You were eager to please us and were a delightful little boy.

As you grew, you didn’t seem to care much about fitting in if it meant compromising your values that came from the LORD. You seemed to have an eternal vision from a young age that you clung to even during the “turbulent” teen years. I was so thankful that such a great looking and talented guy could walk so faithfully with the LORD. You were wise beyond your years and I praise the LORD for His goodness to us.

Whatever you were involved with, you gave 100%. Coaches, teachers, and even the headmaster loved you because of this. You recognized the need for authority in your life and never rebelled against it. All those around you respected you because of this and you were an amazing role model to many of a person who was sold out to Jesus. I am sure you have planted many seeds in all the people who have known you throughout your life. The LORD gifted you with many talents and you have used them for good and for His Kingdom. I love how your favorite Bible verse in high school was “He shall increase and I shall decrease.” It showed what kind of a man you wanted to be. Jesus always before and at the center.

When I was so sick, you were the one who seemed to care the most. (I know your siblings cared a lot but they didn’t seem to know how to express it like you did.) The first time I had to go to the ER and found out I had a brain tumor you came to the hospital every night after a full day of school and sports practice to see me . One night, I was too sick for you to come see me and you felt so badly. Even after my second brain surgery, you came all the way up to USC to see me because you cared. When you were home from college, you’d fix my meals and do anything I asked of you. You have such a generous and servant’s heart to help others.

Now as a young adult, married, with a child and a career, you continue to walk with the LORD. You’ve carried a large load of responsibility on your shoulders ever since you were young but seem to do it with ease. “To whom much is given, much is expected” and you have worn this great responsibility well. I know you have been under a lot of stress throughout your life because of this but you are a born leader and a good one. This world is a much better place because you live in it.

I’m sure that when you one day meet your Savior face-to-face, He will say, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master.” There really is no greater joy than to have your children walking in truth. You have brought so much joy to my life and I love you deeply.

Your Mom

The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice.
Proverbs 23:24, 25

Pictures By Brookshiere Creative

Straight Truth, Pull No Punches, Teaching on Submission

Straight Truth, Pull No Punches, Teaching on Submission

Written By Dr. John R. Rice in 1948

Should a wife obey her husband? Should she be in subjection to him? Should she submit to him as if her were God, as a Christian should be toward Christ? Should a husband have authority over his wife as a master does over a servant? Should women even reverence their husbands as good women sometimes have done, obeying them and calling them lord?

The Bible does command a woman to do all of this, as we will show from many Scriptures. But modern women says “No!” The modern feminist movement has insisted on woman’s equality with man in every respect…Even the devout church woman these days does not know that the Bible explicitly commands her to obey her husband, and she does not even pretend to do it. On this subject preachers have either remained silent, or have made it a theme of silly jesting from the pulpit, while they either do not believe it or are afraid to preach the unmistakable command of God’s Word concerning it.

If a wife does not expect to obey her husband, it is also true that her husband does not expect to support his wife…In modern homes, men, not being the head of the home, do not feel responsible to protect and provide for their families.

The modern world has boasted of its wisdom in forsaking the old standards of marriage and the home, yet the modern marriage has failed…Thousands of other homes produce boys and girls who are turned into the world without any discipline, any moral or religious training that would make them even good citizens, much less devout and happy Christians.

God has placed man as the head of the home then, and since that time, no home has ever been successful and happy which has violated God’s plain command.

The first sin for which God rebuked Adam in Genesis 3:17 was “because thou has hearkened unto the voice of thy wife.” Concerning this very matter, Paul was inspired to write Timothy in 1 Timothy 2:11-14:

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection. But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body (Ephesians 5:23). There could be no more positive or emphatic statement that the husband is the head of the wife, the head of the home…For this reason, the Scripture continues, the woman ought to wear long hair as a covering for her head, symbolizing that she is subject to her husband. 1 Corinthians 11:15 then says that “if a woman have long hair, it is a glory to her”…Woman is the glory of the man, and verse 9 says that the woman was created for man…To change this order violates the laws of nature as well as the command of God. That is why modern homes are usually unhappy and cannot have the favor of God.

 Servants should obey their masters even if they are sometimes unkind. Citizens should obey the laws of their country even though they be administered by wicked and corrupt men. Likewise, God expects women to feel their duty to obey their husbands, good or bad, saved or unsaved. Nowhere in the bible is a wife’s duty to her husband conditioned on the kind of character he has or the way he treats her. This divine order in giving commands to men and women could not be an accident, but is evidently meant to leave those who should obey without any excuse for not doing so.

God’s language is so strong that most preachers in their cowardly submission to modern tendencies simply ignore it and do not preach it, or they explain it away as fit only for other times or only under ideal circumstances. Preachers must answer to God for the way they preach His Word. I will give you plainly what he says about a wife’s duty toward her husband. I dare not do otherwise.

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. (From Ephesians 5)

Wives should submit themselves to their own husband “as unto the Lord.” A woman should obey her husband as if it were the Lord she were obeying, for in truth it is. That means a cheerful obedience which comes from a loving and an obedient heart. To obey her husband should be part of a Christian woman’s religion. She submits to him “as unto the Lord.”

“As the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husband IN EVERYTHING.” It is true that every man, woman, and child, every servant and every citizen should put God first and obey Him first. But here the Scripture seems to take for granted that there will never be a case where God will call upon a wife to disobey her husband. Women are to be subject to their husbands just as the church is subject to Christ, even in everything!

A wife should be subject to her husband in the ways she directs the house, spends the money committed to her, controls the children, in the way she dresses, in the company she keeps – in everything…Sarah is here held up as a great example to wives who would please the Lord and have happy homes…Happy is the woman who feels toward her husband as Sarah did, who can obey her husband with happy reverence. If you, Mrs. Modern Wife, cannot feel so toward your husband, do not be surprised if you never have the love and fellowship which Sarah had with Abraham and the respect and reverence of your children which Sarah had from Isaac.

God’s Word is explicit and plain and women who want to be happy, to have the real love of their husbands lasting down to old age, and the respect of their children and neighbors, which are not accorded to modern, pleasure-mad wives, should take to heart these commands from God’s Word.

The same woman who objects to being under the authority of her husband attends clubs of which she is not president. She works in a church of which she is not pastor. She is a citizen of a government where others rule over her. Even the policeman on the corner can command her to stop or go, turn left or right, or may hail her to court where she is as helpless as a child before the law.

The rebellion of a wife against her husband is exactly the same in spirit as the rebellion of a disobedient child against his father, of an incorrigible pupil against the teacher or a criminal against the government: it is lawlessness pure and simple. In any government, business corporation, or home, there must be those in authority…God has appointed the husband and father in the home as the head, and the wife, the weaker vessel, as his help-meet.

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear (1 Peter 3:1, 2). You wives who weep over your lost husbands and who plead and pray without success for their salvation, it may be that by your disobedient heart you have blocked the answer to your own prayers and made it so your husband will not listen to your pleading. The kind of religion which will make a wife the modest, unselfish, lovely, and obedient wife which God commands her to be – with that “ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price,” as Sarah had, who obeyed Abraham, calling him lord (1 Peter 3:4-6) – that kind of home religion in a wife will have more to do with the salvation of many a lost man than any amount of public preaching of the Gospel.

People ask foolish, theoretical questions here. “What if a husband should command his wife to get drunk?” etc., etc. That is a supposition for which the Lord made no provision here. We may be sure the reason is that that will not happen to a truly Christian woman who loves and obeys her husband. Husbands respect such wives and respect their religion! That is the reason God says such a course would win the husband when the preaching of the Word fails. Wives should be in subjection to their husband, even unsaved husbands.

The Beauty of a Life at Home

The Beauty of a Life at Home

“Many ladies are like a fish out of water. They have set their hearts on being somewhere other than the place God designed for them when He created the first lady. Females were not created to be in a man’s place; they can’t make it there and still be a lady. It’s a different habitat, an element they were not designed for. Some women say, ‘I will not stand in the place which God made for women. I am going to do my own thing somewhere else. I’m going to be on my own. I am not going to stay home and take care of babies and serve my husband. Let him stay home and wash dishes.’ When women take a position like this, they are fish out of water and they are grasping for air but not breathing. As soon as you drop a fish back into the water, everything is okay again.”*

Women belong in their homes. Our cultures have fallen apart since women departed from their homes. The home is where we are called to work, bear children, raise them, and take care of our husbands. Our homes should be places of peace, beauty, and rest for all who enter, especially our families. There are some powerful verses in the Bible that explain to us how we should build our homes up and why we need to be in them.

Through wisdom is an house builded; and by understanding it is established; And by knowledge shall the chambers be filled with all precious and pleasant riches (Proverbs 24:3, 4). “Through wisdom is a house builded,…. A family is built up, furnished and supplied with the necessaries and conveniences of life, and brought into flourishing and prosperous circumstances, by wise and prudent management, by diligence and industry, through the blessing of God upon them, without taking such methods as evil men do.

The house of God, the church of the living God, is built by Wisdom, that is, by Christ; on a good foundation, a rock, upon himself, against which the gates of hell can never prevail. Every good man’s house, himself, his soul, and the eternal salvation of it, are built on the same; and he is a wise man that builds his house through wisdom; that builds on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, the one and only foundation which God has laid, which is Jesus Christ.” (Gill’s Exposition)

In order to build our homes up, we must spend a lot of time at the feet of Jesus learning from Him. This means opening up our Bible, reading it, and becoming a student of it. Highlighting verses that are meaningful. Circling words that stand out. Using the 1828 Webster Dictionary to further research words and to further research Bible verses. Having a prayer list going and each day making our requests made known to the LORD and then leaving them in His very capable hands while we go about our day. By resting in Him, we will experience a peace that the world will never know.

Once we are well fed on the Word of God, we make sure we are feeding our children daily upon it too. And ye shall teach them your children, speaking of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, when thou liest down, and when thou risest up (Deuteronomy 11:20).

He is the Rock upon which our lives and homes are built to withstand the storms and evil of our culture. His ways are unchanging and they are good. They are an anchor for our soul so that we won’t waver with all of the false teachings that are going on around us. They keep us on the narrow path that leads to the abundant life. You will never find true happiness apart from the LORD and His ways.

Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain (Psalm 127:1). “The idea is, that they are entirely dependent on God. No matter what their skill, their strength, their industry may be – all will be in vain unless God shall assist them. They are dependent on Him for life, for health, for strength, for practical wisdom, for a disposition to continue their work, and for success in it. Their work might be destroyed by fire, by a tempest, by an earthquake, or by an irruption of enemies; and for the result, therefore, they are entirely dependent on God.” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible)

Without God, we can not build our homes up, women. His Spirit is Who works mightily within us. His precepts make our life good and worthwhile. We need the LORD for wisdom in this evil age. We can see what the lack of wisdom is doing to our culture. Few people have wisdom anymore since wisdom comes from God and they don’t want any part of Him. We seek His wisdom in big decisions and ask for His strength during hard times. We know that He will never leave nor forsake Him so we rest in Him.

Finally, I want to reprint something that Paula Garcia wrote to the women in the chat room about women going back to their homes and the Lord’s perfect ways for them:

Some thoughts I jotted down today as I was pondering how we as Americans specifically have drifted so far away from what used to be the norm…

I think slowly more and more young women are beginning to seek the old ways. They hunger for something that honestly some of them have never known. It would seem that there has been a break or gap between the generations before us that clung to the old ways, their Christian faith and traditional values.

Somewhere in the middle we have a group that rebelled so to speak and abondoned the old ways and did things their own way. But as always, we soon find that our way of doing things is not the right way. It has only led to destruction- the destruction of marriages, homes, babies in the womb, etc.

And now I believe there is a portion of women, albeit small, who are turning back to the old way (after being on a path of peril) as well as a new generation rising up and they are coming together.

They want to get back to that simple, yet traditional way of life. The one where you went to church every Sunday morning as a family, when you sang the old familiar hymns not only at church but at home as well. A time when your neighbor was a Christian too and you leaned on one another in hard times. A time where faith was sometimes all you had to carry you through and you clung to it – to the Rock of Ages. Every home had a Family Bible and you actually read it together. Mama and Daddy loved each other (and only each other), til death did they part. When heads were bowed and thanks was given at every meal. And come bedtime, knees were humbly bent at your bedside.

I think there is a pressing need to find our way back to the old path, that good and narrow way, and walk therin. What say you?

Thus saith the Lord, stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls…
Jeremiah 6:16

*Excerpt from “The Hidden Woman” by Denny Kenaston and transcribed into Debi Pearl’s excellent new book “The Hidden Helpmeet.”

The Most Hated Verse in the Bible

The Most Hated Verse in the Bible

The most hated verse by women in the Bible seems to be “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing” (Ephesians 5:24). You can’t teach this verse today without a lot of exceptions and qualifiers or women get all up in arms about it because of the word “everything.” The basic problem I see with this is that women falsely believe that when a wife submits to her husband in everything, the husband will begin to abuse her and she will become a doormat. So what woman really seem to have a problem with is the word “submit” more than the word “everything.”

Most women’s favorite verse is the one that follows about their husbands loving them as Christ loved the Church as if Christ doesn’t ask the Church to do anything that is difficult or against what they want to do! Christ asks the Church to deny themselves, be living sacrifices and willing to suffer for Him, and to even lay down their lives for Him. Besides, the more we forget about how exactly our husbands are to love us since we aren’t responsible for our husband’s behavior and instead focus upon God’s commands to us, the better our lives and marriages will be.

The reason I don’t give the exceptions and qualifiers every single time I teach verse 24 is because I want women to focus upon being subject to their husbands in everything instead of focusing upon the exceptions which becomes a distraction. There are few men who ask their wives to commit evil so the majority of women need to concern themselves with following their husbands’ lead instead of trying to figure out when they don’t have to follow.

Some women will say that they don’t have to be subject to their husbands if their husbands want to take their children to McDonald’s or get their children vaccinated. The women will say that these are sinning because we are the temple of the Holy Spirit and should take good care of our bodies so they will refuse to submit and fight their husbands on it.

Others will refuse to work outside of the home when their husband wants them to because they know that God wants them to be keepers at home. Some women may refuse to send their children to public schools when their husband wants them to because so much evil is taught and they will be influenced by peers who know not the ways of the LORD. Many husbands love to watch TV but the wives refuse to allow their children to watch any because of the filth on the screen.

The list could go on and on but I am sure you are understanding what I am trying to get across. In all of these cases, the wife has become the leader and decided what should happen in the family. She has become the head over her husband and her husband the follower because she has determined that she doesn’t want to go against the LORD’s commands. This is why I believe the LORD added the word “everything.”

How is a wife supposed to behave when she is married to a man who is disobedient to the LORD? Is she supposed to take charge according to the Word? No! She is to live in subjection to him without a word and with godly behavior (1 Peter 3:1). Therefore, she should obey him in all of the circumstances I gave above, live a godly and joyful life in front of him, and give all of her concerns to the LORD, thus allowing the LORD to convict and change her husband’s mind, not her trying to wrest control from him; for this will only tear her marriage apart instead of building it up.

When does a wife NOT obey her husband? When he asks her to do something evil like participate in a threesome, watch porn, rob a bank, or anything that he commands that she participate in that is harmful or evil to her, including anal sex (sodomy) which is defined as a “crime against nature” in the 1828 Webster Dictionary. She should not be physically abused in any way and must protect her children from it by calling the authorities.

What should a wife do if her husband wants to feed the children junk food and vaccinate them? She needs to do all she can to feed them as healthy as she can while in her care. Since women are the main caretakers of the children, she will have plenty of time to feed them nourishing food. Concerning vaccinations, she needs to concentrate on developing a healthy gut for her children by giving them fermented foods, probiotics like organic yogurt, keeping them away from as much sugar as possible, plus there are many other things she can do. Research the internet for protection against the effects of vaccinations.

If a husband wants his wife to work outside of the home, the wife needs to make sure she is reverencing and learning to please her husband in everything before she brings an appeal to him. He will be much more willing to listen to a godly, submissive wife than a quarreling and difficult one. Respectfully, show him that she can carefully live within his income by making food from scratch, shopping wisely, living simply, radically reducing spending, etc. She may even ask if she could try it for a while. If he will not relent, then live simply while she works outside of the home and daily give it to the LORD to convict and change her husband’s mind so she can come home but rest in Him until then.

If he insists that his children go to public schools, she needs to  make sure that she is teaching and training her children in the ways of the LORD all of the time that they are home. Pray with them before they go to school. Teach them about the armor of the LORD. Ask them what they learned each day and replace any lies with the truth. Be involved in the school. Then give it to the LORD to convict and change her husband’s mind about public schooling but rest at peace in the LORD’s will and provision.

If you have a situation that you are uncertain about, seek the wisdom of a godly woman who knows the Word and loves the LORD.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.
1 Peter 3:5, 6

My Husband’s Past Struggle

My Husband’s Past Struggle

When we were struggling in our marriage for many years, my husband Ken, would write his feelings down so he could try and make sense of what was going on. The other night, he was reading me some of those thoughts. He wrote that he loved 95% of who I was but had a lot of trouble with the other 5%.  I was continually preaching the Bible to him and trying to control him through my emotions, withholding sex, and getting angry with him. I argued with him constantly. He felt like he continually walked on egg shells around me, never knowing when he was going to displease me, sometimes with the littlest of things.

It wore on him. He wrote how easy it was for him to accept others just the way they are, so why was it so hard for him to accept me the way I was?  As I listened to his words, I could tell it was a great struggle for him to love me because my life was about getting my “needs” met and making sure he did things the way I wanted him to do them, instead of seeking to please him and being his help meet.

I was a great mother. Even in my sickest of days, I would have healthy meals on the table, took the children to their games and ballet, and made sure that AWANA was a weekly priority. I kept the house clean with some help, and did the laundry. I cooked healthy meals from scratch, paid all the bills and was a good manager of my home. I went to church and Bible studies faithfully. I taught my children the Word of God from the time they were small and even home schooled them some years.  I had all this energy for the kids, yet I put Ken on the sidelines. Why didn’t I see this clearly?

I finally realized that it all came down to control. It is the curse from the garden and almost every woman I have ever mentored struggles with it. “Her desire will be for her husband…” Our desire will be to control our husbands and we must stop giving into this curse. For we are told we can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens us.

Therefore, after arguing constantly with my husband for 23 years and wanting to control him, for the past ten years I have learned that I was sinning against my husband and my Lord. I have been mentoring women for the past ten years and I now encourage them to stop trying to control what their husband watches, what he eats, what he wears, what he does with his free time, where he goes, etc. We are their wife, not their mother. Yes, he may have heart disease and eats terrible. He doesn’t obey the doctor and you only nag him about his eating because you want him to be healthy. However, this is NOT our responsibility unless he wants us to hold him accountable. If not, give up ALL control and you won’t believe the freedom you find in this.

He watches too much television. He plays too much golf. He spends too much money. He drinks too much alcohol. And on and on the list goes. You may have a hundred reasons why you feel justified in trying to change his behavior. I sure know I did! Hundreds, but it still doesn’t give us the right to try and control them. This is not our job. Men are not attracted to their mothers. We were created to be his help meet, not his conscience. Share your opinions with him a few times and then let it go.

He is a man now. He gets to live his life the way he wants to live it. He didn’t marry you to nag him. In fact, a lot of men are scared to death to get married for fear they are going to be nagged to death and have to walk on eggshells in their own home. They feel they aren’t going to get to live life the way they want anymore but have to live with a boss that tries to control them with her emotions, tempers, silent treatment, avoidance of sex, or anger.

A true help meet doesn’t try to control and change her husband no matter how right she thinks she is and how wrong her husband’s behavior. Our job is to love, serve, please, submit to and obey. This is our job description for it is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife {Proverbs 21:9} and a continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike {Proverbs 27:15} and it is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman {Proverbs 21:19}.

Now, you don’t want your husband to feel he has to sleep on the roof, listen to constant dripping, or live in the desert, do you? He should be able to sleep in his comfortable bed where peace reigns and his air conditioning on! We need to make our homes comfortable places for our husbands. They need to be places he longs to be in, not miserable.

Therefore, dear wives, go to work making your husband at home. Help him by loving and serving him. Let him see Jesus in you and this will draw him closer to you and the Lord. Let all of your controlling nature go. Release it today. Let it go!

Many women use the excuse that their husband does not love them as “Christ loves the church.”  I had the perfect, yet most flawed excuse to not follow God’s clear teaching of love, sacrifice and submission. If my marriage was mediocre it was not all my fault, or was it? We will not stand in front of God someday and have to give an account about how our husbands didn’t love us, but how we loved or did not love our husbands.

There is a desperate need for older women to teach the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. {Titus 2:4-5}

So even though you may be an amazing mother and homemaker, if you are not working on becoming an amazing wife, you are missing out on the priority of your God-ordained role to be a great help meet.  If you read my blog, you should know by now that what I teach is not to scold or to put you down, but to try to prevent you from losing out on some of the best years of your life with your husband and best friend.  I can never get those years back, but I can shout to all who will listen to beg you not to make the same mistakes I made. Become your husband’s blessing instead of his struggle.

The past thirteen years of my marriage have been amazing. Ken and I now mentor couples. I write for my blog daily encouraging women in their roles as wives and mothers. This is the ministry the Lord has given us and we love it. The Lord has definitely brought beauty out of ashes. Praise His Holy Name!

How Not to Get Married

How Not to Get Married

Dennis Prager shared an article on his Facebook page and wrote: “Feminist Advice: Five things not to give a man. This could be retitled — How Not to Get Married. Feminism is dedicated to making women unhappy.” The article is titled Strong Women Should Never Do These Things For a Man – or Anyone Else. Just the title shows the selfishness of feminism and how it’s all about them. As godly woman, life is not about us but learning to serve and please the LORD and our husbands.

What are these things feminists should never do for a man?

Change your appearance. “If your SO (significant other) is a decent human being, they won’t ever force you to alter the way you look for their benefit.” As godly women, we will want to change our appearance to please our husband. We will want to dress and even wear our hair the way they like it best. Once Ken told me he didn’t like my hair in a bun so I’ve never worn one since. He likes my dresses just above my knees so this is where I wear them. The key to true happiness is to live for something more than ourselves, namely the Lord and others. The “others” include our husbands.

Compromise our passions. “Absolutely no one should get in the way of your goals. It is your life, after all, and nobody else will regret leaving any dreams behind more than you.” As godly women and our husband’s help meet, we are to follow them where ever they go and support their goals. If our goals are lined up with the Word of God, we will marry, bear children, and guide the home while our husband is known in the gates!

Wait for his approval. “A strong woman plays by her rules and doesn’t sit around for instructions.” A godly woman plays by the LORD’s rules and follows her husband’s lead, even being subject to him in everything.

Cancel already set plans. “It’s different to reschedule when something important comes up, but it’s problematic when you drop what you’re doing just to be with him.” As godly women, we were created to be our husband’s help meet so yes, we drop what we’re doing to be with him because we love him, he is important to us and our priority in life.

Let him change who you are. “Don’t change who you are for anyone but yourself.” No, change yourself for the Lord which will be more attractive to your husband as you become more loving, kind, generous, gentle, servant-hearted, joyful, meek, and quiet spirited.

Compare all of these things that “strong women” will never do to this woman from the chat room:

Sometimes it’s the little things you can do to please your husband. My husband for years has kind of teased me about being so white (I’m very fair skinned). He has a decent amount of Native American in him so he’s always tan. I’ve never wanted to go tanning and didn’t want to get a spray tan so I let it go. I recently discovered a tanning lotion that gradually gives you some color and I love it! I don’t think he’s noticed yet but I definitely have and am excited for when he does notice.

I used to have a bad habit of biting my nails, too, and he didn’t like it at all. I stopped and my nails are longer than they’ve ever been! He also prefers them to have a French manicure rather than painted a color so I got a kit from Walmart and did it myself! I love how it looks and makes me feel more put together to have nice looking nails.

I have had short hair ever since two months after we got married; I always knew he preferred it long though. I decided last year to grow it out and I haven’t gotten it cut for over a year! He also likes when I wear it down and I’ve been trying hard to not put it up as much.

Before being submissive these things never bothered me. I knew my husband preferred it a certain way but I didn’t care and just did my own thing. Now, though, it feels so good to be able to please my husband in these ways, and they’re so simple to do!

You tell me what kind of a woman most men would want to marry: a selfish and self-centered feminist or a kind, godly woman?

As Bernard O’Reilly wrote in 1886: “Women’s entire existence, in order to be a source of happiness to others as well as to herself, must be one of self-sacrifice. The first step in this royal pathway to all goodness and greatness is to forget self. Self with its miserable little cares and affections is the root of all the wretchedness we cause to others, and all the misery we endure ourselves. Every effort we make to forget self, to leave self behind us, and to devote ourselves to the labor of making every person with whom we are bound to live, happy, is rewarded by interior satisfaction and joy.”

I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.
Romans 12:1

Who and What are Women to Teach

Who and What are Women to Teach

What and who exactly are women to teach according to the Word? There are women teaching other women the Word but failing to teach what God has instructed them to teach. Many women didn’t like yesterday’s post about being silent in the Church. This is offensive to them and they tried to convince me by using Hebrew and Greek that I am wrong, as if the translators of the KJV Bible made mistakes and they know better than these men of old.

In further researching what women being “silent” in the church meant, I found some very interesting things in the commentaries of old about this topic. One thing I did not find is that woman are allowed to speak in the church. It seems to me that silence means silence. (This doesn’t mean they can’t sing. They are not to do anything that is teaching men or being in authority over them when they sing. The Apostle Paul is clear about this.)

Elliot’s Commentary: But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.—The whole purpose of these weighty admonitions of the great founder of the Gentile Churches relegates Christian women to their own legitimate sphere of action and influence—the quiet of their own homes.

Wow! Most Christian women wouldn’t like what Elliot had to say about a woman’s sphere – “the quiet of their own homes.” This is what feminism has rebelled against and unfortunately, many Christian women fell in lock step with them. Do you, women, not understand the importance of your home? Don’t ever let anyone try to convince you that it is not. We have the privilege of bearing and raising an army for the LORD in our homes. We are our husband’s help meet and have the privilege of making our homes a peaceful and beautiful place for our family in the midst of a loud and ugly world.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary: According to St. Paul, women are not allowed to be public teachers in the church; for teaching is an office of authority. But good women may and ought to teach their children at home the principles of true religion…St. Paul shows what is the only proper sphere in which woman should work, and in which she should exercise her influence and power; while man’s work and duties lay in the busy world without, woman’s work was exclusively confined to the quiet stillness of home.

Matthew Henry again reiterates “the quiet stillness of home” as the place where women work. Is your home peaceful? You, as the woman of the home, have a big responsibility of whether or not your home is peaceful by your attitude and behavior. Are you gentle and kind with your husband and children? Do you control your emotions and feelings so you are led by Truth and the Spirit instead? Do you find that the JOY of the LORD is your strength? In order to have a peaceful home, you must hide God’s Word deeply in your heart so that you won’t sin against Him. As you are doing this, make sure you are teaching your children godliness as well.

Matthew Poole’s Commentary: Nevertheless women may, and it is their duty to instruct their children and families at home, especially in the absence of their husbands.

It is fathers who are given the command to raise their children in the nurture and the admonition of the LORD in Ephesians 6:4 but as the husband is head over the wife and the wife is home full time, she will be the one who is teaching them the ways of the LORD throughout the day. Make sure you are reading them the Bible, even more so than Bible story books, since it is His Word that is living and active and sharper than a two edged sword. Use every opportunity to teach your children truth.

We are blessed with five grandchildren. One of my sons and his wife told me that every night when they put their nine month old baby to bed they sing a hymn and pray over her. The other day, I watched my one and a half year old granddaughter and as we put her to bed, we sang and prayed over her. It was such a sweet time! Find any way you can to speak and teach truth to your children just as Timothy’s mother and grandmother shared their faith with him (2 Timothy 1:5).

Gill’s Exposition: But I suffer not a woman to teach, They may teach in private, in their own houses and families; they are to be teachers of good things, Titus 2:3. They are to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; nor is the law or doctrine of a mother to be forsaken, any more than the instruction of a father;…(but in church) but to be in silence; to sit and hear quietly and silently, and learn, and not teach.

Women are to teach the Word to their children and Titus 2:4, 5 to women. Even the Proverbs 31 wasn’t running around to different Women’s Bible Studies, teaching women the Bible, or attending conferences. She worked hard in and around her home. She was full of good works and deeds. What does it say about her words and what she teaches? “She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness” (Proverbs 31:26). In order to have wisdom, she had to know the Word of God for all wisdom comes from Him. When she spoke, she spoke words of wisdom and taught her children wisdom. Her words were also those of kindness. I am sure all that are around a woman like this clearly knows that she has been with the LORD.

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the LORD, she shall be praised” (Proverbs 31:30). She fears the LORD. If you fear the LORD, you don’t fear man and this is why she can “rejoice in the time to come.” She doesn’t fear the future because her trust is in the LORD. She respects and honors her husband as head over her and has no desire to teach men or speak in church. She knows her place is in the home and she finds her joy there.

Expositor’s Greek Testament: 1 Timothy 2:12. This refers of course only to public teaching, or to a wife’s teaching her husband. In Titus 2:3 St. Paul indicates the natural sphere for woman’s teaching.

In this commentary, we are told what women are to teach women, namely to love and obey their husbands, to love their children, to be sober, good, discreet, chaste, and keepers at home, namely godly womanhood. Few women want to teach this today. They would rather teach through books of the Bible or Old Testament figures or the end times, anything but Titus 2:4, 5. The thing is that woman are more easily deceived, therefore, it is best to stick to what the LORD has commanded for us to teach and let men preachers and teachers teach the whole of God’s amazing Word.

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:4, 5

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