Trying to Justify Christians Watching “This Is Us”

Trying to Justify Christians Watching “This Is Us”

Yesterday after I wrote a post about not being entertained by sin, I wrote a summary from my experience watching a couple of episodes of This Is Us. (It’s a very popular TV show for those who have never heard of it.) I had been told it was a great show by Christians and that it didn’t have anything bad in it. It began with nudity, then a threesome. It had God’s name in vain, premarital sex, and homosexuality. Basically, it’s watching a godless family live their lives. After a few episodes, I turned it off since I knew it wasn’t something I should spend my time watching. I shared this on my Facebook page and many agreed with me until one woman. I want to share what she wrote and give my response to each portion.

“We enjoy this show and sure it can do without some scenes. The characters bring us through real life problems and situations adults encounter in every day life. This makes us realize how blessed we are and how graceful and merciful God is. It also helps us to have compassion for those who don’t live the same life style or have the same standards we do.”

So in order to be thankful for our gracious Lord and have compassion for those who live ungodly, we should be entertained by them? It sure isn’t what the Word of God tells us to do. “I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes: I hate the work of them that turn aside; it shall not cleave to me” (Psalm 101:3) We are told to dwell on the true, honorable, right, and true (Philippians 4:8). Bad company corrupts good morals (1 Corinthians 15:33). “But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin” (Hebrews 3:13). I could give you MANY more but you get the idea. What she wrote sounds good but isn’t backed up by Scripture.

“Randall’s biological father is gay on the show, so what? We have co-workers and acquaintances that are gay and don’t agree with them but don’t shun them for it. My husband likes to put it this way: ‘If I like black coffee and you like yours with creamer, it doesn’t mean we don’t like you, can’t associate with you or we can’t be friends. It means you have your preferences and I have mine.’ (We are called to love like Jesus did; they know where we stand and that we don’t agree.) Just like Election, not all have the eyes to see and ears to hear which is why being chosen we need to take the gospel, wrap it in love and gently deliver it to those around us.”

Again, this all sounds great but it isn’t biblical. Yes, we are to love the homosexuals in our life but we shouldn’t be entertained by it or do anything to help promote it by watching it on TV shows. God destroyed two cities because of homosexuality. Be kind and loving to the homosexuals in our lives but lead them to Jesus. They need Jesus. We can’t lead some character on a TV show to Jesus. The main purpose of having a homosexual on a TV show is to normalize the sin Christ died for. God told Lot if there were ten righteous people in Sodom and Gomorrah, He would have spared them but there were not. Even Lot was “vexed (tormented) with the filthy behavior of the wicked. (For that righteous man dwelling among them, in seeing and hearing, vexed his righteous soul from day to day with their unlawful deeds;)” (2 Peter 2:7, 8). We are called to FLEE all sexual immorality, not be entertained by it or normalize it. It’s a deadly lifestyle. Jesus loved but then told the adulterous woman at the well to “Go and sin no more.” We are commanded to speak the truth in love. We must never leave out the truth part as so many today want to do.

“It’s great to not watch if you feel convicted, but there are good life lessons that can be ‘observed from the outside’. It’s easy to find the bad when looking for it.”

We are told, “Behold, I send you forth as sheep in the midst of wolves: be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves” (Matthew 10:16). What does this mean? “For your obedience is come abroad unto all men. I am glad therefore on your behalf: but yet I would have you wise unto that which is good, and simple concerning evil” (Romans 16:19). “Hate evil, you who love the LORD” (Psalm 97:10), NOT be entertained by it.

“From this ‘review’ I got the impression that you’re putting yourself higher than a godless family. With that said, we are all filthy wretches according to God, we are all sinful, and all have fallen short of the glory of God.”

On the contrary, once we believe and are saved, God calls us saints, new creatures in Christ, freed from and dead to sin and condemnation, His children, holy, righteous, transferred from the kingdom of darkness and into the kingdom of His dear Son, and sitting at the right hand of God. Please listen to Michael Pearl teach at “The Door” on Facebook and learn who you are in Christ!

“Being a Bible believing Christian (reformed) we know that we were chosen by God, are free in Christ and cannot be plucked from his hand. Life is messy, not everyone around us is a cookie cutter ‘Christian’ (which is a very vague word these days). I have seen wonderful examples of marriage, parenting, being a great friend and brother/sister, promoting adoption, to prioritize, listening to your heart (I’m more of a logic over feelings gal though), to be selfless as well as addressing and overcoming problems that us as humans face. Just this wife’s take on the show.”

No, thank you. I would rather obey the clear Word of God and how the Lord commands that I should spend my time. “See then that ye walk circumspectly, not as fools, but as wise; Redeeming the time, because the days are evil” (Ephesians 5:15, 16) There is nothing redeeming about watching a filthy, nighttime soap opera. I was convicted about watching soap operas when my oldest daughter was five years old and began to watch them with me and nothing will convince me that I should watch them ever again.

“We should not be entertained by the sins which Christ died.” (John MacArthur)

“So I say again, love for others must hate evil. Because evil hurts others directly, and evil hurts others indirectly by hurting you. Evil obscures the beauty of Christ. And Christ is our greatest good. Our greatest joy…hold fast to Christ, and abhor everything that dishonors him.” (John Piper)

Should We Watch Movies With Sin in Them?

Should We Watch Movies With Sin in Them?

How many of you are boycotting Beauty and the Beast because there is a homosexual agenda by the director? Do you boycott movies with premarital sex and adultery too? Is there a difference and how careful should Christians be in what they watch, thus support? This meme was shared around Facebook:

The woman who posted this also wrote, “It must be said. So if you’re not going to see Beauty and the Beast, I hope y’all didn’t go see the 50 Shades of Grey stuff. Or basically anything for that matter.”

The Old Testament has premarital sex, adultery, homosexuality, lying, committing murder, drinking (getting drunk), and stealing. Should we not read the Bible? The difference becomes that we are not shown the sex scenes so no images are plastered in our mind and no explicit details are given (except for the “newest” interpretations of Song of Solomon). All of the sins have negative consequences and are condemned in the Bible. In fact, we are told to FLEE sexual immorality so where does a Christian draw the line?

I don’t watch anything with premarital sex or adultery because when you see people having sex, it’s for real. They aren’t just pretending. I have come to the conviction that I don’t even want to watch movies or shows that imply premarital sex or adultery since we are commanded to dwell on the good, the pure, and the lovely. “But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becomes saints” (Ephesians 5:3). These types of sins should not even be named among us, let alone entertain us! When movies begin to show and make us believe that premarital sex, adultery, and homosexuality are okay is the line I draw since they are not okay with the Lord and they shouldn’t be okay with us.

When we watch a murder mystery, we all know the murder is make-believe and the entire movie is based on trying to solve the mystery. Lying, stealing, and murder are still considered sins in our culture, as far as I know, and are considered wrong in most shows and movies. Little House on the Prairie had most of these sins in them but it was always shown to be wrong.

Shows and movies with drug use and alcohol are make believe as well unless they are reality shows which I won’t watch, except for the Duggars and wholesome family shows like theirs. Drug use is usually condemned in movies but getting drunk is not always. I won’t watch movies with people enjoying getting drunk.

Therefore, this meme isn’t entirely accurate because if it were the Bible would be off-limits but as believers, we must be very careful what we put before our eyes. Study 1 Peter 1 and 2 if you want to know how God wants us to live our lives. Here are some of the pertinent verses:

Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation (behavior)…pass the time of your sojourning here in fear..But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light…abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul; Having your conversation honest among the Gentiles.

We must NOT go with the flow of our culture, women. We must not compromise with the world because it is on the broad path that leads to destruction. If God calls us to purity, this includes what we put into our minds. All manner of sexual scenes and innuendos affect us greatly because we are sexual beings and this is why God wants us to FLEE them. Just because a large part of the Church is lukewarm today doesn’t mean we should be. Yes, it will mean giving up passing pleasures but we must be known for pursuing God and His will for us over pursuing the fleeting pleasures of this world.

“Christian, beware how you think lightly of sin. Take heed lest you fall by little and little. Sin, a little thing? Is it not a poison? Who knows its deadliness? Sin, a little thing? Do not the little foxes spoil the grapes? Does not the tiny coral insect build a rock which wrecks a navy? Do not little strokes fell lofty oaks? Will not continual droppings wear away stones? Sin, a little thing? It girded the Redeemer’s head with thorns, and pierced his heart! It made him suffer anguish, bitterness, and woe. Could you weigh the least sin in the scales of eternity, you would fly from it as from a serpent, and abhor the least appearance of evil. Look upon all sin as that which crucified the Savior, and you will see it to be ‘exceeding sinful.'” (Charles Spurgeon)

Who Do You Want to Live For and Please?

Who Do You Want to Live For and Please?

No one has to guess what God’s will is for them. It is all clearly spelled out in His Word. We can usually figure out God’s will for us by looking at our culture and doing the exact opposite since Satan is the prince of the power of the air and the Word of God is our instruction manual straight from the mouth of God. Therefore, we must all ponder who we want to live for and please. Do we want to go with the flow of our wicked culture (which is being exposed more every day for who they worship and what is important to them) or do we live sacrificial lives for the Lord in obedience to Him?

What is God’s prescription for children? “…bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). An important part of God’s design for marriage is to bring up godly offspring (Malachi 2:15) because He wants a family, a remnant, who love and obey Him. Do the public schools do this in any way, shape, or form? No, yet we hand our precious children over to a godless institution for hours every day and most of their growing up years. They are taken away from their godly mothers and taught by strangers things that do not help them grow in godliness. God has given parents the responsibility to bring their children up in Him, not strangers who know nothing about the ways of the Lord.

What about single women? What is God’s will for them? I love what Nancy Wolgemuth said about this: “But the priority that God places on the home—this passage assumes that young women will be wives and mothers. It’s not saying if they’re wives and mothers or if they decide they want to get married or if they decide they want to have children, then teach them these things. There’s an assumption that young women will get married and will have children. At the risk of being truly politically incorrect, could I say this is God’s norm? The implication is, as I look at not only this passage but the whole of Scripture, that as a rule young people are to be purposeful about getting married and about having children.”

So what is God’s prescription for women? That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed” (Titus 2:4, 5) and “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:14). Do the universities and colleges teach any of this? Yet, parents are using their hard-earned cash or are causing their children to go deep into debt by sending their daughters off to godless institutions where most of the students are anything but sober on weekend nights.

Instead of being taught to love and obey their husbands, they are being taught to be like men in every way and that men are jerks, marriage is bondage, submission is slavery and children thwart their goals. They are taught to be indiscreet, impure, and not good by the things they are being taught and being exposed to in the curriculum and students around them. There is nothing decent or beneficial about universities for women that help lead them in the ways of godly womanhood. Nothing. Most campuses aren’t even physically safe for young women anymore.

What is God’s prescription for older women? “The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things” (Titus 2:3) and “Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints’ feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work” (1 Timothy 5:10). Are the godly women you know known for these things? Are they busy teaching the younger women, helping those in need, and serving others? It seems most older women have continued on in their careers, found jobs, retired to vacation, or anything but what the Word has commanded them to do.

The Church is weak in our culture for a reason. If we don’t stand against the downwards flow of our culture and go in the opposite direction, we aren’t helping anyone. We are called to be salt and light and if we lose our saltiness, nothing will be good. Many women are in rebellion to God’s plan for them. People are looking for Christians who walk the talk; who live lives that are contrary to popular opinion, who are raising godly offspring, mothers who love their children more than their free time or careers and are sacrificially giving their time and energy to their families, and older women who are pouring their lives out for the  younger generation by helping and being an example to them of godly womanhood.

Can Men Lead Their Homes Anymore?

Can Men Lead Their Homes Anymore?

Matt Walsh wrote this yesterday concerning women who participated in “A Day Without Women”: “The men married to these feminists need to put their foot down and show some leadership for a change.”

The outrage by women was immediate and furious to this statement.

Then Matt wrote this: “I wrote earlier about the ‘Day Without a Woman’ protests, and in that post I said something that upset a fair amount of people. I said men need to take the reins of leadership in their families. I meant that particularly in reference to families where left wing feminism has become the guiding force, but it extends more broadly. Men are meant to lead their homes, as the Bible clearly and unequivocally states.

Naturally, people are angry at me for saying this. So, naturally, I wrote another post saying it again, louder, and in greater detail. These days, people claim that there shouldn’t be a leader in the home. But they don’t really mean that, do they? They don’t actually want equality in the home. They want the WOMAN to be the leader. They want the husband to submit to the wife in all things. And, over the course of the past 50 years, that is exactly what’s happened in many homes, because the man is physically or spiritually absent. The results have been devastating. This is not how it’s meant to be.”

Another man wrote this comment on my post Why do Women Despise Being the Weaker Vessel?

Like I said, I have witnessed so many wives walk all over their husbands personally since I was in my mid teens or so, including my mother. Feminism is running rampant in the church. This is not what God had in mind when he joined men and women together. And I can just imagine his tears over it.

I read a post that Lori wrote in January of 2015 about Sunshine Mary. Some of the responses from Christian men and women just angered me. Some saying that he had NO right to enforce the rules in his home though he was head and he was to let her do whatever the heck she wanted, no matter if it ruined them and their marriage. Others saying that his only job was to love her and not enforce the rules. What is the use of being head if he has nothing to be head over? God made him head. Yes, he is to love her and yes, he is to even die for her as Christ did for us, if called upon to do so. BUT, to say that he has no right to enforce and to let her do what she pleases is a definition of Feminism in my opinion. This is women trying to take over the authority of the home and be the head. This is what God was talking about in Genesis 3:16. It is WRONG! Women feel that being the weaker sex means they are devalued and non-important. THAT ISN’T TRUE. So they try to subvert their husband’s GOD GIVEN place as head.

Some of the comments from the other blog site Lori had about Sunshine Mary were from men, but what I saw, most of them were from women saying the husband has no right to even lightly discipline her by taking things away and by even chastising her for disobeying him. If he isn’t supposed to enforce and she is to do whatever the heck she wants without a word from him, then why did Paul even say anything about a woman’s submission and obedience? Why did he spend so much time on the subject? Not just in the marriage, but leadership in the church as well? He wouldn’t have if obedience and submission were not important to God. We’re to submit and obey Christ, so why is it any different for the wife, since the wife is under the authority of the husband just like man is under the authority of Christ? We are to obey Christ and she is obey her man.

To be the weaker vessel doesn’t mean you are nothing and should be walked on. Being the weaker vessel gives you the opportunity to be strong through your obedience and submission. Your husband DOES have the RIGHT to enforce the rules in the home. That is all part of the verse in Genesis 3:16, “and he shall rule over you.”

He does have the right to tell her she can’t do something. He DOES have the RIGHT to take away things from her and the right to use some sort of light punishment if her behavior is disrespectful and disobedient. And even cutting up her credit cards if her spending is getting out of hand. She is not honoring and submitting. She is being disrespectful. She is showing that she wants to be free from his GOD GIVEN authority. They show they do not trust God or their Husband to lead. They show that they don’t like God’s role for them as the weaker vessel. And to me, it shows that they do not understand what being the weaker vessel really means.

Okay, I’m done. I am very frustrated about this and had a lot to say.

But as the church is subject to Christ, 
so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.
Ephesians 5:23

“A Day Without Women” in the Workforce – Something to Celebrate!

“A Day Without Women” in the Workforce – Something to Celebrate!

Women today have become so foolish. They falsely believe that they have more value outside of the home rather than inside of it. They also falsely believe that feminism is what has brought women value; the right to vote, have careers, and be “equal” with men in every way. No, they weren’t being satisfied being women. They wanted to be men.

Feminism is NOT what has brought women value. It degrades women, overworks them, and leaves them more dissatisfied than ever before (the Women’s March proved this). “The elevation of women was in the early period of Christianity understood to be one of the glories of Christianity, yet like a century plant, the seeds of social change planted by the gospel were to take many generations to bear fruit. Nonetheless, within forty years after this writing these aims were beginning to be accomplished, as we see from Clement or Rome’s Epistle to the Corinthians, chapter 1: ‘Nobody could spend even a short while among you without noticing the excellence and constancy of your faith,’ especially among ‘your women-folk,’ who were becoming ‘patterns of discretion in every way.'” (Thomas Oden)

Women today are anything but discreet. Some definitions of being discreet: “careful not to cause embarrassment or attract a lot of attention.” A godly mother who is at home raising her children is discreet and she is doing a powerful work for the Lord. No, she doesn’t get a lot of attention or praise or earn an income, but if she is godly, kind, modest, and hard-working in her home, her husband and children will rise up and call her blessed! Her price is FAR above rubies.

“Work on human hearts and destinies to do imperishable work, to build within life’s fleeting hours monuments that shall last forever.” (S.C. Ferguson) Mothers are doing imperishable work when they invest their lives into their children full time. These little eternal souls live forever and life is fleeting. There is no better way to invest their time than doing this. No one can have a greater impact for good upon a child than their parents.

Another definition of being discreet: “careful and circumspect in one’s speech or actions.” Many women today are the opposite of this. You are called to “keep your behavior excellent among the Gentiles, so that in the thing in which they slander you as evildoers, they may because of your good deeds, as they observe them, glorify God in the day of visitation” (1 Peter 2:12). You are commanded to live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present age. Are you living this way? Are you obeying the Lord in what He has called you to do or have you been swept up with the feminist’s movement and the destruction of womanhood?

“We’ve seen what the world’s curriculum does in the lives of women and how it leaves them disordered and dysfunctional and distressed and in depression. I think it’s time we try God’s way. We see what can happen when we begin to educate and train women in the ways of God” (Nancy Wolgemuth).

Christianity, namely Christ, is what gives women value, not feminism, voting, careers, or making money. The best thing women could do today is quit their jobs and go home to take care of their husbands, children, and home. This is where they are most needed and most profitable. Don’t believe the lie that only rich women can stay home full time. Live simply and frugally within your husband’s income if need be and seek the Lord in wisdom. He is our provider and His commands are not burdensome.

“Love your husband, love your children. Stay home. That’s not an idea I came up with out of my head. That’s from Titus 2. Older women are to teach, encourage, do all that they possibly can to help the younger women to do these things. My objective is to simply point you back to the Word of God.”
from Elisabeth’s radio broadcast (Gateway to Joy) today

Let me end this post with a poem that was written by a retired minister from Tennessee.

I like the “Old Paths”, when Moms were at home.
Dads were at work. Brothers went into the army.
And sisters got married BEFORE having children!

Crime did not pay; Hard work did;
And people knew the difference.

Moms could cook; Dads would work; Children would behave..
Husbands were loving; Wives were supportive; And children were polite.

Women wore the jewelry; And Men wore the pants.
Women looked like ladies; Men looked like gentlemen; And children looked decent.

People loved the truth, And hated a lie;
They came to church to get IN, Not to get OUT!
Hymns sounded Godly; Sermons sounded helpful;
Rejoicing sounded normal; And crying sounded sincere.

Cursing was wicked; Drinking was evil; and divorce was unthinkable.

The flag was honored; America was beautiful; And God was welcome!

We read the Bible in public; Prayed in school; And preached from house to house

To be called an American was worth dying for;
To be called a Christian was worth living for;
To be called a traitor was a shame!

Sex was a personal word. Homosexual was an unheard of word, And abortion was an illegal word.

Preachers preached because they had a message;
And Christians rejoiced because they had the VICTORY!
Preachers preached from the Bible; Singers sang from the heart; And sinners turned to the Lord to be SAVED!

A new birth meant a new life; Salvation meant a changed life; Following Christ led to eternal life.

Being a preacher meant you proclaimed the word of God;
Being a deacon meant you would serve the Lord;
Being a Christian meant you would live for Jesus;
And being a sinner meant someone was praying for you!

Laws were based on the Bible; Homes read the Bible;
And churches taught the Bible.

Preachers were more interested in new converts, Than new clothes and new cars.

God was worshiped; Christ was exalted; and the Holy Spirit was respected.

Church was where you found Christians on the Lord’s day, rather than in the garden, on the creek bank, on the golf course, or being entertained somewhere else.

I still like the Old Paths the best!

Thus saith the Lord, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths,
where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls.

Jeremiah 6:16

FLEE Beauty and the Beast

FLEE Beauty and the Beast

You’re probably sick of hearing about the movie coming out this weekend called Beauty and the Beast and the homosexual talk concerning it but I thought I would throw my thoughts out there for anyone who is interested. The director who MADE the movie had this to say about it: “It may have been a long time coming but this is a watershed moment for Disney. … By representing same-sex attraction in this short but explicitly gay scene, the studio is sending out a message that this is normal and natural – and this is a message that will be heard in every country of the world, even countries where it’s still socially unacceptable or even illegal to be gay.”

Due to this statement, there was outrage, of course, since this movie is marketed to children. In order to soften it Disney has told us there is no “in-your-face-gay-moment” and it has “all been overblown” and “To not make a big deal of it. Why is it a big deal?” Right here, mothers, is why you don’t want to take your children. Homosexuality is NOT normal and natural.

Satan is very subtle. He roars around like a lion looking whom he may devour. We should be doing everything we can to protect our children from debauchery and not being entertained by it, even if it is very subtle. The women in the chat room were talking about it and I will share a few of their comments:

“How are we impacting culture with the gospel if we continue to support Hollywood’s agenda of normalizing sin with our attendance and money?”

“I try to always error on the side of caution instead of the side of being entertained for I want to be a seeker of the Lord more than a seeker of pleasure.”

“No – you don’t win the world by doing everything the world does. We need to be above reproach (to the best of our ability). My two cents. I am tired of being told I’m overreacting or being a hypocrite. I am doing my best to filter out what I can.”

“Many things started very small like this, like women showing their ankles or their shoulders in the early 1900s. To us it seems like nothing but back then it was a subtle step towards women wearing practically nothing in public. Christians allowed this to happen, they accepted it and it slowly got worse and worse. TV and movies used to not allow more than a kiss, closed mouth, no unmarried sex, no adultery, but little things crept in that were looked over and now there are movies and TV shows glorifying sin. They bask in it.  We should be convicted of this. As we allow sin, and give place to it we give the devil an inch and he takes a mile. (This reminds me of the illustration of the frog in a pot slowly getting boiled but not realizing it because the heat goes up so slowly.)

Our God calls us to be separate in every aspect. Anything in our lives that doesn’t live up to God’s standards should be thrown out. It’s time for us to rise up as the bride of Christ, spotless and unblemished. We have to be the example and as we step closer to Jesus we won’t desire to partake in this kind of stuff.”

Homosexuality is a sin, women. It’s clear in the Bible. It’s progression is clearly stated in Romans 1 and this chapter explains where those who know the truth yet “hold it in unrighteousness” end up. They end up with reprobate minds and this chapter ends with “Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them” (Romans 1:32).  We are to be seekers of God and NOT seekers of pleasure.

Our culture is trying to normalize homosexuality. This is why they changed the word to “gay.” It’s not normal and it is a big deal to God so it should be to us too. We need to stop caring about being entertained and care a whole lot more about being godly and holy. If all Christians refused to see this movie, it will most likely lose money. We are called to prove all things; hold fast that which is good. Abstain from all appearance of evil (1 Thessalonians 5:21, 22) . Dwell on the good and the lovely. FLEE sexual immorality; it’s the one sin God commands we FLEE. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate (2 Corinthians 6:17). I am not sure how much clearer the Lord could have been with us in His will for us.

Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ.
Titus 2:12, 13

Does Submitting to Husbands in Everything mean EVERYTHING?

Does Submitting to Husbands in Everything mean EVERYTHING?

Written By Ken Alexander

“Wives should submit to their husbands in everything” is a fundamental command for all those who want to do marriage God’s way. One can never arrive at a point where two have truly become one flesh until the two are in union and harmony with each other. This is not to say that a wife leaves wisdom behind once she takes her vows, nor does it mean she is to follow her husband into sin. Submission is to be the natural response of a godly wife to a loving husband, and when he is not loving her as he should, submission is still the response of the wife who desires to obey her Lord and Savior in everything.

God’s Word is very plain and straightforward but each verse of the Bible is informed by its immediate context and the Bible as a whole. So what are some of those times that “in everything” does not mean “EVERYTHING?”

For the few Christians who are bent on taking a wooden literal approach to this passage. it is important to understand that language and literature are intended to be understood as the common reader would understand it. Imagine all the qualifiers the apostles under the influence of the Spirit would have to give in order to communicate if they were not free to assume that the readers would be reasonable and informed in their understanding of what they are writing.

Should Paul have said, “in almost everything?” Then you would ask, so in what things shouldn’t a wife submit? Or does “almost everything” mean that I can pick and choose what to submit to so long as it is most of the time I submit? No, Paul made it clear that the intent was that wives should indeed submit “in everything,” but he naturally assumed his readers were Believers who know God’s heart and Word, and thus would easily qualify the few exceptional exceptions to the command.

The beauty of God’s Word is that one can almost always understand the necessary qualifiers directly from the immediate context.  The context says “wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord” (Ephesians 5:22). So a wife’s submission is not in a vacuum, but as she would first submit to her Lord. If her Lord’s commands are clear and indisputable, she is under no obligation to submit to any sin demanded by her husband. This includes submission to abuse as any abuse of another is unlawful both civilly and in Christ.

Can we now agree here that the “in everything” does not mean to submit to a husband who is asking his wife to forsake Christ and adopt his religion? Wives have been brutally beaten, whipped and killed by husbands upon learning of their conversion to Christianity. These wives refused to submit and recant their relationship with Christ precisely because they have a higher authority than their husband in their lives. Their Lord and Master is the Lord Jesus. Jesus says, “whoever denies me before men, I also will deny before my Father who is in heaven” (Matthew 10:3).

Jesus is Lord over a wife with the big “L” as compared to a husband who may be considered lord with a small “l”. Christ’s authority comes first and foremost as the Ruler of this universe and certainly has reign over a husband’s demands for a wife to submit to any sin. “You shall therefore love the LORD your God and keep his requirements, his statutes, his rules, and his commandments always” (Deuteronomy 11.1).

It seems that here lies the fear of those who want to make wifely submission to a husband in EVERYTHING, including sin. They fear the slippery slope of a wife finding her way around submission by setting herself up as the ultimate authority as to what God desires for her life and marriage. It is not such a far-fetched notion to find a wife who is learning from any number of Christian women teachers who has now declared a personal relationship with God, so personal that God speaks directly to her. Or she begins to interpret the Word to her advantage so that anything a husband asks her to do that she finds to be “unloving” she can exclude from submission, because “God says that my husband is to ‘love me as Christ loves the church’ before I need to submit.”

The twists and excuses that many Christian wives, and too often Christian pastors, use to get around the clear instructions for a wife to submit in everything, often consign the Christian marriage into a structure that God does not intend for marriage. In these marriages a husband leads only so far as the wife allows him to lead, and he must relegate his decision making to his wife’s final authority as to whether he is being loving towards her or meets her test of how she feels about God’s leading her on the matter. Both of these concepts clearly violate the intent of “in everything.” So the fear that any exception to the rule will be turned by a wife into rendering the passage meaningless is not without merit, nor without common day practice in many Christian marriages today.

Even recognizing the proclivity of women to twist and turn a clear passage like this one into meaninglessness, Lori and I are not going to insist that the “in everything” means EVERYTHING when it clearly does not endorse following a husband into sin or abuse. Our job as teachers is not to wrestle wives into a box of submission because it is best for them, especially when married to godly guys, but instead to try and lead Christian women to choose to willingly submit to the one they chose to marry, to love and to lead them. This fear of “give a wife an inch and she will take a yard” is not what should dictate our understanding of God’s Word.

Instead, love demands that a husband patiently wait on his wife to grow up into a marriage where is she is willing to follow him into everything he leads her in so long as it is “as to the Lord” and without sin. She must learn that unless the Bible is clearly against what her husband desires of her she is to submit if she wants to do marriage God’s way. If she is unsure as to whether she should submit or not, she should not rely on her own individual interpretation of the Word, nor on her feelings of what God is telling her, but test if it is sin or not by speaking to an older godly woman or an elder’s wife.

The question to ask any counselor on this subject is a simple one. Is what my husband is asking of me clearly taught against in God’s Word? If the answer is “no,” then there should be no other qualifier. If you need help understanding where God is clearly against abuse, contact us, or your elders to understand that no wife should be subjected to physical harm or behavior that puts her or her children in danger.

Apart from this narrow set of exception of “as unto the Lord,” the Christian wife is to submit “in Everything.” This was the apostle’s intent as inspired by God, that Christian wives everywhere allow their marriages to be the model for the church. That children being raised in such marriages could see what it means to be obedient to the Lord in a real and tangible way Mom willfully submitted her will to her loving husband, even when she strongly disagrees with him, or he asks her to do things that go beyond her comfort level. It is false teaching by many Christian women teachers that a wife has to feel comfortable in her spirit that what a husband asks is okay, or good for the family, before she submits. God’s intent is to have only one leader in the home just as the Church is completely subject to Christ. Christ would never ask us to sin but regularly asks us to grow up outside of our natural comfort level that is too often informed by the flesh and not by His Word.

A year or so before Lori discovered Debbie Pearl’s book, “Created to Be His Helpmeet,” the Lord showed me the biggest challenge I had in winning over my wife to a marriage of  oneness and intimacy that Lori and I both longed for. Years of my Lori demanding an intimate relationship had finally shown me that there was nothing I could do for her to achieve this goal as she was trapped in her fear of letting go and allowing me to be a loving husband to her. She had every excuse in the book as to why she only had to submit to me in the things that made sense to her, or did not violate her feelings of what a loving husband should do. I began to challenge her in ways that she once considered unloving, but now laughs about, precisely to help move her to a place she feared greatly in life: Vulnerability.

The reason why a wife often desires to control is because she is afraid not only of following her husband, but afraid of letting him into her own personal space where her deepest desires and fears reside. God has had the answer from the beginning of time to intimacy. The key to unlocking a wife’s heart comes only by her allowing her husband into every part of her life; her hopes, her dreams, her fears, her love, and her inner most being. Vulnerability is the necessary key to enter into a woman’s heart just as it is if we want God fully into our hearts. To be able to trust our God, or one’s husband fully is the bond that will blossom in a marriage until fully opened into a crazy love where two shall become one. No hesitations, no buy backs, no excuses, and no blind following, but rather allowing a husband to take his wife on a journey of love through vulnerability to fully give herself to the man she says she loves the most in this whole world… right after Jesus.

If you want this crazy love God offers to those who vulnerably follow Him into a one flesh, sold out marriage, then you have to do things God’s way. God’s ways often defy logic, and certainly defy the flesh and how mankind would do things. Yes, a wife is fully equal to her husband, just as Jesus is equal to God. And as Jesus tested the bounds of love by fully submitting to God, so too a wife will find the true love God has in store for her without full surrender and submission to her husband, while never leaving wisdom behind. Follow along so far as it is not sin and find God’s promise that the “two shall become one flesh.” Also, a prescription given for dealing with a disobedient husband.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Ephesians 5:24

Teaching Children About Pornography

Teaching Children About Pornography

Parents must teach and warn their children about pornography. All children will be exposed to it so it is imperative for the parents to know how to go about it. In No Greater Joy’s latest magazine, Michael’s daughter Rebekah Anast shared how her dad taught this to his children. It’s so important so I thought I would post it here.

One day when I was 8 years old, I went down to the mailbox to get the mail. Lying in the grass near the mailbox was a magazine with a solid white cover. I assumed some of our mail had escaped the mailman and I went over to pick it up. The magazine fell open in the middle, and for about three seconds I stared in amazed horror at the hard porn in front of me. A dozen conversations and statements that my dad had made about such things came rushing to my mind.

Once during a trip to Memphis with our family, I recalled seeing on a downtown street a half-dressed woman being jerked around and slapped by a man in a pink suit.

“She’s a prostitute,” Dad told us. “He’s a pimp. She works for him, selling her body to lascivious men who will burn in hell so that she can continue to buy drugs to satisfy her addiction. God hates prostitution and pornography, kids. It destroys lives and families.” We kids stared in horror at the man and woman who were now stumbling into a building with neon signs and blacked-out windows.

“Do you know what pornography is?” Dad persisted. We stared at him, still shaken by what we had just seen. “It is photographs of naked men and women… and other things I won’t even tell you about.”

“Why do those women let people take pictures of them when they are naked?” we asked.
“Most of those women were molested when they were kids, by their uncles, their brothers, by friends, or even by complete strangers. They have no self-value. They feel worthless, and so they don’t guard their bodies. Instead, they sell their bodies for money to worthless men who are molesting other women and girls.” We all swallowed hard and shuddered.

“God hates this kind of sin so much that when the children of Israel went into Canaan, he told Joshua to kill every man, woman, and child because they had all been involved in sexual sins. God says it is better for a man to have a big grinding stone tied around his neck and be thrown into the sea to drown than to face the wrath of God that will come on him if he messes with little kids that way.” We all nodded. It would be a just retribution for such an evil person.

“Whenever you see pornography, kids, I want you to turn away from it—don’t look at it, because it will stay in your mind and bother you for years. Wad it up and burn it, or throw it away so no one else will ever see it. And don’t trust anybody. If an uncle or cousin wants to talk to you about this kind of stuff—or touch you—I want you to scream at the top of your voice and run away and tell on them. Don’t be polite or wait to see if he’s really a bad guy or not. The first minute you feel as though something is wrong, run away from that person.” Dad went on to give us detailed instructions about protecting ourselves and our minds. All of this came to my memory the moment that pornographic magazine fell open in my 8-year-old hands. Even though I had never seen pornography before, I instantly knew what it was. A righteous indignation swelled up inside of me, and I crumpled the magazine up as small as I could get it and carried it home. I took it straight to Dad and told him about it. We set it on fire, and I felt a grim satisfaction for having destroyed one small piece of evil in my world.
When my brothers were 10 and 12 years old, they found pornography stapled to the trees in the woods where some filthy hunter had left it for the Amish kids to find. My brothers reacted the same way I had. They approached each tree with their back to it, pulled down the pages and wadded them up into tight balls, stuffed them in their backpacks, and brought them home to burn.

I have often wondered what our reaction to pornography would have been if Dad had never told us about it. What if we hadn’t known what kind of people create it and use it and what God thinks about it? He even told us what to do WHEN we ran into it—not IF! Dad knew the world was so corrupt that there was no way he could shield us entirely. So he equipped us to handle the corruption ourselves. If I had never heard of pornography that day when I picked up the magazine, I think my own shocked curiosity would have led me to turn the pages and begin the searing of my conscience. Then my sense of guilt would have kept me from telling my parents what I had found. And what would I have done with the magazine? Hidden it? I don’t know. But the truth and knowledge I held that day assured my freedom and safety. I thank God so much for what Dad did for us!

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When I was 14, we (my brothers and I) were swimming in the creek with our neighbors—three boys the same ages we were: 14, 12, and 10. A perverted-looking local drove by our swimming hole repeatedly, leering out the window at us. My brother Gabe made a comment about him probably being a queer. Our 14-year-old friend looked curious and asked, “What’s a queer?”

My brother replied, “You know—a faggot.” The boy shook his head in confusion. Gabe said, “A homosexual.” Still not understanding, the 14-year-old, homeschooled neighbor boy just shook his head. Gabe laughed, sure that his friend was playing dumb.

“Come on! You’ve got to know what a queer is. You know, guys that mess with other guys or boys. Perverts!”

To this day, I can remember the look on the other boy’s face. It was NOT a look of surprise and curiosity. It was a look that said, “There’s a word for it? You know about that? Do other people know about it? Do you know . . . ?” I felt sorry for our friend that day. I wondered what experiences he had run into—unprepared and unwarned.

Many times as a child I remember standing at Dad’s side when he would go into a gas station to prepay for fuel. If the station carried pornography, Dad would scrape his money back off the counter and tell the cashier that he could not buy gas there because he just noticed they promoted rape and child molestation. The cashier would look shocked, and Dad would point at the porn magazines behind him. The cashier ALWAYS looked guilty and ashamed. He would glance at us kids; we would all be looking at him with suspicious shock (are you a child molester???) before we turned and walked out. These incidents burned a sure reaction into us. Dad’s reaction and openness about sin and God’s hatred of sin all gave us assurance in dealing with the world when Dad wasn’t around.

Knowing Good and Evil—from God’s Perspective of Good is wise

Our parents also made sure we understood the difference between righteous sexuality and evil sexuality. There was a clear distinction in our minds. When we were very small, Dad candidly explained that God created all beings, male and female, for pleasure and reproduction. God created sex to be pure and holy between one man and one woman, who would eventually be Mommy and Daddy to a whole passel of kids. There wasn’t supposed to be any confusion or shame in that relationship. It was intended by God to be whole, functional, and happy.

When our dogs were mating, Dad called us outside to see what they were doing, then told us to go back inside and give them some privacy. Inside at the kitchen table, he sat down with a paper and pen and drew a picture for us of sperm swimming up a canal to an egg. He gave us a thorough, practical explanation of reproduction. We were 8, 6, 4, and 2 years old.

Knowledge can bring wisdom

Our parents gave us a happy understanding of marriage by letting us see them hug, kiss, and enjoy each other’s company. They never gave us the specifics of sex, but often assured us that marriage was great and God had someone wonderful in store for each of us if we stayed pure and walked in righteousness until it was time to get married. This great example, contrasted with occasional glimpses of the ugliness of sin, made it easy for me to make up my mind to wait for the best.

Many parents write to us saying that they are trying to protect their children’s innocence. They don’t want them to know about the evil in the world. I understand their concern. It is a sad thing that we live in a world where evil has such free reign, where child porn is an accepted part of society. It is sickening. I hope the Lord returns for us soon and breaks the teeth of the ungodly before he casts them into the lake of fire, where they will be in torment for eternity. But the truth is that children are going to come across the reality of our corrupt society one way or another. They will either hear it from a twisted pervert, another clueless kid who is making poor guesses and choices, Hollywood, a book, the Internet… or from you. Which source do you want them to get it from first? Dad made sure he was the first to tell us life’s secrets; he made sure his information was the most thorough and complete; and he made sure we knew everything from the standpoint of good rather than evil.

Dad, Are You Keeping the World Out?

The most amazing thing about the rise of pornography on the Internet is not how many children have gotten involved, but how many “mature, responsible people” have gone off the deep end. People who thought they were safe in their own righteousness have fallen into immorality. No Greater Joy receives letters from pastors, elders, and fathers who have professed Christianity for years but are now in the tangle of pornography. They were unprepared for temptation in their own home. They never learned to stand and fight and resist the devil.

Shutting evil out of your life is not really an act of righteousness. Just about the time believers learn to deal with pornography on the web, some greater and more insidious evil will be introduced by the world at large. The answer is something more aggressive—and more fundamental! The answer is to believe the gospel, the reality of your sanctification—that you are dead to sin and alive unto God. In this stand of faith, you will worship God in the Spirit and have no confidence in the flesh. You will walk after the Spirit and thus not fulfill the lust of the flesh. You will be free from sin right down to the most secret and fundamental part of your being. When Paul wrote Romans and told the believers that they should “through the Spirit… mortify the deeds of the body,” he wasn’t talking about some Sunday-school rules that they should abide by. Half-baked “churchianity” is never enough to overcome the world. If you are not overcoming sin, you need to listen to Mike’s audio series called Sin No More. Mike’s series on Romans Chapters 1–8 is available for free on YouTube. Another powerful resource is the video Science of Addiction and the Brain.

Even the most secluded and conservative families will be assaulted. Shutting out as much evil as you can is your God-given duty to your children, but you will never be able to shut it all out. On top of that, you cannot make your children pure by insulating and isolating their circumstances. You must train, teach, and prepare their minds to respond to the Spirit of God. Read our Yell and Tell books to your little ones; read the books at least once a week and give the child an opportunity to talk about what you have read. All experts on the subject agree that those prepared are usually spared.

Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.
Romans 12:9

Why Does Disobeying Our Husband Blaspheme the Word of God?

Why Does Disobeying Our Husband Blaspheme the Word of God?

We are told in Titus 2:5 to be obedient to our husband so the Word of God be not blasphemed. Why is this the case? How can disobeying our husbands blaspheme (speak evil of) the Word of God? Again, I go to the old-time commentaries that actually understood that wives were commanded to OBEY their husbands and didn’t try to water it down at all.

“The duty of wives is, submission to their husbands in the Lord, which includes honoring and obeying them, from a principle of love to them.” When you live in submission to your husband, you are loving him and showing the world what it looks like for the Church to live in submission to Christ. When you live in disobedience to your husband, you are not loving him and you are showing the world that that the Church does not live in submission to Christ, thus blaspheming the Word of God as if the Lord doesn’t give us the power through the Holy Spirit to do what He asks us to do. It shows a very weak Church indeed.

“Her head, being wholly dependent upon him, and entirely resigned to him, and receiving all from him; from whom alone is all her expectation of provision, protection, comfort, and happiness; wherefore she has respect to all his commands, and esteems all his precepts concerning all things to be right; and yields a cheerful, voluntary, sincere, and hearty obedience to them; arising from a principle of love to him, and joined with honor, fear, and reverence of him: so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything: political, domestic, and ecclesiastic; that is consistent with the laws of God, and the Gospel of Christ.”

Did you see that obeying him in everything includes “political”? This does NOT go over well in today’s culture. Voting is a sacred right even among many Christian women. Obeying our husband even means voting the way he votes since he is our leader. No, voting is not a sacred right given by the Lord. It was a right given because feminists fought for it. They didn’t trust men to make the right decisions. They thought they would make better leaders than men. This blasphemes the Word of God because God created men first and made them as the leaders of nations, churches, and families. Chaos usually prevails when women take over leadership positions which speaks evil of the Word of God by destroying the churches and causing them to be lukewarm. Not always, as in the singular case of Judge Deborah and a few other women who have ruled with wisdom, but God created men with their emotional stability to be the rulers and leaders.

“Sarah was one of the most distinguished of the wives of the patriarchs, and her case is referred to as furnishing one of the best illustrations of the duty to which the apostle refers. Nothing is said, in the brief records of her life, of any passion for outward adorning; much is said of her kindness to her husband, and her respect for him.” Are you known for your kindness and respect towards your husband? Do your children and others see you treating your husband this way? If you are unkind and disrespectful to your husband, you are showing that believers are no different than unbelievers. The same God that raised Jesus from the dead lives inside of you. His Spirit can surely change you if you remind yourself who you are in Christ and step out in faith by loving and respecting your husband.

That the communication of thy faith may become effectual by the acknowledging of every good thing which is in you in Christ Jesus.
Philemon 1:6

“Going along with him wherever he went, as from Chaldea to Canaan, and into Egypt, and the land of the Philistines.” Many women refuse to follow their husbands where they want to go for a new job. They refuse and thus the husband has to stay put to be with his family. This blasphemes God’s Word because the wife is to follow the husband wherever he goes as Sara followed Abraham since God made the husband the head over the wife as Christ is head over the Church. When others see Christian wives unwilling to follow their husbands, they see a powerless Gospel that produces bad fruit: resentment in the husbands towards their wives for not allowing them to lead.

“St. Peter singles out Sarah, as the mother of the chosen people. She obeyed her husband habitually.” Do you obey your husband habitually? Do you do everything he asks of you to do when he asks you to do it? If so, you adorn the Gospel of Christ not only to your husband and children but to all who see. If you do not, you blaspheme His Word and speak evil of Him for when you disobey your husband because you are ultimately disobeying the Lord.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ,
so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Ephesians 5:24

Feminists Flushed Femininity Down the Toilet

Feminists Flushed Femininity Down the Toilet

There’s a movie called Adam’s Rib that was made in 1946 with Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn in which their two characters were married and competing lawyers. At one point, Spencer shouts at his wife, “I don’t want a competitor, a competitor. I want a wife!” It reminds me of a book that was just written by Suzanne Venker called The Alpha’s Female’s Guide to Men and Marriage: How Love Works. I have not read it but what I have read from Suzanne, she has a lot of wisdom when it comes to male/female relationships. I follow her on Facebook and here is one comment she received about her book.

“I’ve been in a marriage for 30 years, and I have raised three children. I am also a nurse and have moved in and out of the workforce during my marriage. Because of my profession, I’ve observed thousands of these male-female interactions at work. They are as you speak of: in a WAR.”

Sadly, male-female interactions are at war because women have taken over males’ roles in society. This is far from God’s plan and has caused destruction in its path. Most dental and doctor programs in universities have more females than males. Most universities have more females attending than males. Women are stealing jobs that should be men’s jobs and of course this would cause war between the sexes. Plus, women want to be in control and God didn’t create them to be, so this will most often cause strife too.

“The women have become men, and the poor men have no choice other than to become the feminine side of the relationship to make it work. Except it doesn’t work. Because men, even though they can try hard, are not women—and vice versa.”

Men are now required to do a lot of housework which isn’t their natural tendency. God has given women this role. Women will never make better men than men, and men will never make better women than women no matter how hard they try. The DNA we are born with will be the same DNA in our bones a hundred years from now. Feminists are fighting God and nature with what they are doing and it’s ugly.

“In the past 20 years, I have seen this more and more and more of this role reversal. You are so right that when men are looking for a mate, they don’t care that the woman has three Ph.Ds. A working man making enough is looking for a woman to be a woman who takes care of him, the kids and the complex life of running a home and family. Feminists flushed the values of that part of being a woman down the toilet and made more stress and more work for women because now they must work and do the their job at home as well.”

I am sure the happiest men are those who have married good, hard-working women who take good care of them, their children, and their homes so they can do what they have been called to do, namely provide. They can be singularly focused on this instead of having to help get the children ready in the morning, drop them off at preschool, and do other things that are home-oriented and should fall to the woman of the home. Their lives become so much more stressful than they already are and women don’t seem to mind at all. At least they think they don’t, unless they ponder their lives for a bit and see how much more stressful their own lives have become as well as their children’s.

“I’ve seen a lot of these high-powered women have affairs because the man at home becomes too soft. He changes for her, and then she has an affair with a man who is stronger than she is! I know of at least five marriages that ended in horrible divorces because of this.”

Suzanne believes that women are attracted to masculine, strong men. I tend to agree but feminists have done everything to destroy this type of man. My housework handwritten post that went viral proved this point because of the outrage from women that believe that men should help with housework because they WANT a career. They think they find more fulfillment and satisfaction away from the home, thus making everyone’s lives miserable so they can get out of doing what they are supposed to be doing.

God’s plans for us are good. I don’t know if Suzanne is a Christian or not. I have never seen her allude to it but from what I have read of hers, she has seen that the roles God has given men and women are for their best, societies best, and children’s best.

As for God, his way is perfect: the word of the LORD is tried:
he is a buckler to all those that trust in him.

Psalm 18:30

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