This post was written by a 23 year old man whose parents taught him to flee pornography.
You can find him on X as James Anderson White.

My parents’ vigilance prevented me from almost any exposure to pornography— ever. Here’s what they did plus what l would recommend in addition.

1. Understand the problem.

You cannot be vigilant about the porn issue until you understand its severity, maliciousness, and consequences. Do the research. Average age of exposure when I was younger was around 11. Now, I believe it’s down to nine. They are after your kids ASAP. Any serious exposure at any point and the addictive sexual sin that follows is spiritually corrosive. All modern sexual deviancy or heinous criminality can both be traced back to severe porn addiction. It’s not overstating to call it a portal to hell. Never let it be opened.

2. Instill an unwavering sense of right and wrong.

If you don’t parent with both love and authority, you will have rebellious children. Show grace, yet teach justice. Discipline is vital. You are training them to resist temptation and worldly influence. Train them well. Practically/realistically, this requires real, biblical parenting. None of that “soft/ gentle parenting” nonsense. That will never hold up in the long run. I have another thread on that topic for those interested, but I digress.

3. Foster communication.

“If you ever have a question, don’t google it. Ask me.” My parents had mature, yet age appropriate conversations with me from early on which never stopped. I always felt like I could talk to them about anything. This is VITAL. As soon as children lose trust that they can confide in/confess to their parents, they are extremely vulnerable to the world’s influence. Children are needy. What they do not receive from you, they will find somewhere else for the worse.

4. Give them “the talk” yourself.

Many parents wait too long, leaving their kids to learn about sex from other kids and then directly from porn. This skews their perception from the start then continues to warp it until it mutates into something vile and insatiable. Talk about these topics in age appropriate ways as early as you can and continue to discuss them as they age. This will mostly become the role of one parent of a corresponding sex, but either way, open conversation and guidance should continue up to adulthood.

5. Address the porn issue directly and early.

Both my parents and a teacher (all boys’ school) helped educate me on this issue, made me aware of its consequences, and informed me how to avoid it. Your vigilance in prevention has to be demonstrated and passed on for avoidance. Should go without saying, but you can’t indulge in porn when you have kids and expect them to do any better. You might even be the cause for their discovery. You must die to self, repent, be made new, and walk prayerfully and uprightly if you want your kids to have a chance.

6. Remove any unmonitored internet access.

Early, unfettered internet exposure is bad for a whole host of developmental reasons, especially porn. Luckily, some of gen z seem to be learning from the mistakes of past generations and trending away from giving kids devices. Practically, this means don’t give your kids smart devices, don’t let them attend sleepovers, and don’t have any accessible web browser in the house more than a carefully monitored central family computer. If you understand what’s at stake, none of these are unreasonable.

You will never prevent your child from sin. I am testament to that like every son or daughter but you can, with God’s grace and heaven-sent shrewdness,   prevent them from having their minds and sexual desires irreparably warped, and their marriages beginning disadvantageously.

Porn is sinister through and through. One of your greatest aspirations as a parents should be to protect your child from its grasp. I thank God and my parents often for their vigilance because I see the destruction I was spared from. Raise children who will do the same.

Lastly, pray and believe this for your children:

“No weapon formed against you shall prosper, and every tongue which rises against you in judgment you shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is from Me, Says the Lord.” (Isaiah 54:17)

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18

James made an incredible video on immodesty too! Show it to your daughters. Watch it HERE.

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