Is “Obligation Sex” Biblical?

Is “Obligation Sex” Biblical?

Women have tried to convince me that “obligation sex” is unbiblical. Posts and articles have been written arguing that it is definitely not biblical. Well, let’s ponder this for a bit.

What is the definition of obligation? “An act or course of action to which a person is morally or legally bound; a duty or commitment.” So, naysayers are telling me that wives don’t have a “duty or commitment” to be sexually available for their husbands?

What does God have to say about this? “Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

Since I only teach women and we are each only responsible for our own obedience to God and not that of our husbands, I will only teach you what God commands of you, women. He commands you to render due benevolence to your husband. What does this mean? This is from Gill’s Commentary: “And, likewise also the wife unto the husband; she is not to refuse the use of the bed when required, unless there is some just impediment, otherwise she comes under the name of a ‘rebellious wife’; concerning whom, and her punishment, the Jews give the following rules…” (You can read her punishment HERE.)

We are also told that our husbands have power over our body and commands us not to defraud them. Defraud means “To withhold wrongfully from another what is due to him.” Are we allowed to defraud our husbands sexually if we don’t feel like it or not in the mood as most claim? No. The only reasons for not having sexual intimacy are with consent between husband and wife for fasting and prayer. Then, we are warned that if we do defraud our husbands, we may be tempting them for their lack of self-control.

So, is obligation sex biblical? Yes, it absolutely is biblical! How do we have sexual intimacy if we’re not in the mood? Change your mood! Decide to love your husband and obey God. Stop allowing your moods and emotions to control you and begin living in obedience to God. How? By taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and replacing the lies you are believing with Truth. There are many blessings from doing this including having a loving and close relationship with your husband. Marriage is for sexual intimacy and is part of loving our husbands as God commands in Titus 2:4! It’s God’s perfect design for us. Please, don’t neglect your husband by defrauding him of sexual intimacy and tear your home down with your own hands. Stop being a rebellious wife.

P.S. By the way, “obligation” isn’t a dirty word as feminists have made it out to be. We’re obligated to love and obey God. We’re obligated to love and care for our children. We’re obligated to love, serve, and be sexually available to our husbands. These are all good things!

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 5:19

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4 thoughts on “Is “Obligation Sex” Biblical?

  1. Women who think like that confuse me. I’m flattered that my husband wants me so much! Even if I’m not in the mood, I put on a smile and do it because I love him, next thing I know, I am in the mood! It’s how men connect to their wives. This would be the equivalent of a man telling his wife that he isn’t in the mood to listen to her problems. Women would call that “not meeting her needs”. If a man isn’t wanting intimacy then there’s a big problem! Men are simple: feed them and love them.

  2. Thankyou Lori! This is an area that I have greatly struggled with. I love my husband, but at 43, I suspect I’ve hit peri menopause and the hormones are off. 😒 I just have little to no desire and it’s frustrating both of us. I’ve been at a loss as to what to do. Thankyou for helping me see another perspective. ❤️ Any tips for the perimenopause/menopause stage of life?

    Hi M, You can try hormone replacement therapy but even if you have little desire, you can please your husband since he still does!

  3. How can they say it’s not biblical? 🤣 God literally said to not withhold our body from our spouse.

  4. My husband has woken me up in the middle of a dead sleep to initiate. I always try to say yes when he does this. It doesn’t usually take long and it’s worth it knowing he is satisfied.

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