Recently, I made a video called Love is Not an Emotion. The following is my favorite comment underneath the video!

“Oh wow! I’m not the only one! I also don’t cry over movies or books, and I also didn’t have butterflies when I accepted my husband’s proposal (the second one). Lack of butterflies caused me to panic the first time he proposed, and I needed more time to think things through. I knew I liked him. I knew in terms of biblical values, he was a rare find. He wasn’t the most handsome guy ever, but he wasn’t repulsive either.

“I prayed about it, took a leap of faith and am glad I did. He is the best husband I could imagine, and I try to be a good wife to him. We are 100 percent committed to each other and if we do get into a bit of a discussion about something, we always remember we are essentially on the same team. No slamming doors, no accusations, no throwing things, and no name-calling. It’s so peaceful and comforting!

“And then I look at my peers who got married for butterflies. In the better moments, they will be over the moon, publicly displaying their adoration for their husbands with cute nicknames and kisses, and the next moment, they might be storming off in a huff, slamming a door, and sulking until he “apologizes.” Then they come back sober-mindedly to explain to the more recently married, that, yes, marriage is work. Every little issue needs to be worked through until a consensus is reached. No thanks!

“Our marriage isn’t work. It’s life, plain and simple. We both do our best. We both do our share of apologizing when appropriate, and we know that not every little issue needs to be worked through until we completely agree on everything. We don’t even expect to ever reach the point of complete and total agreement, since we are both still learning and growing. We don’t have cute nicknames for each other, and we keep our physical affection private. No need to make a show. Sure, we’ll praise each other to others, whether or not the other is present, but again, not to show off our own merits as good, supportive spouses.

“We will stay together until death do us part, because our marriage is not butterfly-based and even though butterflies sure are cute and pretty, they aren’t very strong so you shouldn’t lean on them. This isn’t to praise myself. If I had felt butterflies for someone, I probably would have followed them just as naively as the rest of my peers. By the grace of God, I was spared and blessed with a husband that is patient, hardworking (only got six hours between turning off the lights and having to get up again this morning, poor guy!), faithful, serious, and helpful. Is he like my father? No. But I have my father to be my father, and my husband to be my husband. Both in the same church, and I see both every day, so they balance each other out very nicely.”

 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

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