Mothers are Everything to Their Children
“The prescribed cure for the problem with no name was for women to go to work and begin having more abortions. Politicians obliged with the demanded policies, and companies began to accommodate. So today, married couples both work. Their children are in day care from the time they are infants — at a huge cost in both money and family cohesiveness, and the couples hope the nursery will care for them safely and properly.
“The two salaries together equal about what the man used to earn. One of their salaries is used up by the need for a second car, day care costs, and other incidentals, including higher taxes. Meanwhile, they juggle trips daily to and from day care, squeezing in time to go to the grocery; prepare meals; shop for clothes; and do household chores, which both now perform.
“How onerous were the jobs previously assigned by default to the wife? A breeze in comparison to what their grandmothers faced. Today, they do half as much at home, perhaps, but also work 40 hours a week or more in an office or other workplace.
“But they’ve been ‘liberated.’ So all is well and just.” (How Feminism Liberated Women Into Misery by Lloyd Brown)
“How can it be a large career to tell other people’s children about the rule of Three, and a small career to tell one’s own children about the universe? How can it be broad to be the same thing to everyone, and narrow to be everything to someone? No, a woman’s function is laborious, but because it is gigantic, not because it is minute. I will pity Mrs. Jones for the hugeness of her tasks; I will never pity her for its smallness” (G.K. Chesterton)
I teach Christian woman biblical womanhood. I teach them that God’s ways are best. God’s ways are best for women who aren’t believers in Jesus Christ as well since God is their Creator whether or not they acknowledge it. His commands are not burdensome, women. He wants you to bear children and be the ones home raising them since He knows this is FAR superior to anything the world can offer. Mothers are everything to their children!
Feminism isn’t anything new. No, it began in the garden with Eve. She wanted to go her own way and do her own thing. Godly women want to go God’s way and do His will because they know it is perfect.
God sent His only Son to pay the penalty for our sin. This is how much He loves us. Jesus Christ rose again so we can live eternally with Him. This life is brief. The only thing that will last is what we have done for Christ. Raising godly offspring is Kingdom work and lasts for eternity. Never let anyone discount your God ordained role as a wife, mother, and homemaker. Keep eternity in your vision.
Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is. If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.
1 Corinthians 3:13, 14
15 thoughts on “Mothers are Everything to Their Children”
A great post. Thank you, Lori. I love the G.K. Chesterton quote, but I think you meant “tasks”. Hope you have a great day!
This is not to judge anyone because I do love everyone involved, but it’s just sad. A few different scenarios that just happened this past weekend within my family. #1 – My 22 yr old son lives @ home, goes to college and works. He was sick with the flu this past weekend, and as we were praying no one else in the house would catch it, I was cleaning sinks, disinfecting toilets, dumping yucky buckets and giving sips of water. At church yesterday, I was sharing this with another older woman, and her response was, “Isn’t he old enough to clean up after himself?” Is my thinking wrong that if he doesn’t have a wife and he’s living at home that it’s my priviledge to care for him?
#2 My cousin’s family moved into the area to be close to her mom. Saw her at church yesterday and ooo’ed and awww’ed over her 3 yr old & 3 mo old baby. She said she already had been working for a week. Her husband is still trying to find a job, so he’s watching the children for now. Our other cousin will be quitting her job, though, (instead of grandma – that was a flat out ‘no’ when my daughter asked) to watch the children along with her own. My daughter’s other comment was, “So, —- is being their mommy and raising them?” My husband’s reply, “Yes, hon. That pretty much sums it up.”
#3 – So, last one, I promise. A different aunt than in #2 came to visit. She shared the following story. Her one son was home with his baby. Her daughter-in-law had gone back home to have a get together with her sisters for the weekend. A dear older saint heard this and remarked, “I don’t know about you, but when I became a mother, the baby was my responsibility. I wouldn’t think of heading out of town on a lark leaving my baby with my husband. It just wasn’t done.”
Our family agrees 100%, Lori! A woman’s/wife’s/mother’s/daughter’s/grandma’s place is in the home. ?
Yes, Courtney, it is. Thank you!
RMR,
It is your privilege to care for your son, but I don’t think you are doing him any favors by not teaching him to clean up after himself. There are plenty of men over 40 on this website who are not married, or are divorced. Who will clean up after him when you are gone? Who will care for his wife and children, if they are sick? One of the saddest (and funniest) things I ever heard was a sick woman at the ER waiting room trying to explain to her 17 year old son at home what a can opener looked like, which drawer it was in, and how to use it to open a can of soup! Have you ever heard someone describe how to use a can opener over the phone? The poor kid probably starved to death. My 9 year old son and 7 year old daughter both know how, and have helped clean their own vomit up off the floor. Or, any food they have spilled. They know how to sort colors and load the washer and start a load of laundry (they are too short to unload it.) They also know how to fold laundry, how to wash dishes, set the table, take out the trash and clean a sink. They both help in the garden, planting, watering and weeding. My 9 year old son can make cookies without assistance, and is learning to fry an egg, make oatmeal, and other simple cooking skills. You best believe they both know what a can-opener looks like, and how to use it. My husband does not know his way around a vacuum, but he can do laundry, wash dishes and cook. He cooked several meals for me when we were dating, and cooks occasionally, now. If his home had been a pig sty when we were dating, or if he was sending laundry home to Mom, I certainly would not have married him. After all, having a wife, or a mother to do these things for you is also a privilege. My husband was abandoned by his parents and raised in foster care, My parents died when I was young, so there was no one to care for me when I was a young adult on my own, and too sick to get myself a cup of water, or to help with my children, when my husband and I were both in the hospital with pneumonia. It could happen to your son, too. If he knows how to cook, clean, and do laundry, it will still be a struggle for him. If he does not, it may be more than overwhelming.
Motherhood can be isolating. If a husband thinks it’s appropriate for his wife to visit her family for support, and he is willing to care for his child, I fail to see the problem.
Each father is different, some prefer to be “hands-on” while others do not.
I guess I would say a weekend with family while a husband cares for his baby does not mean a mother is not ‘in the home.’
One of my excuses for working full time for years was, that my husband didn’t have a stable job with insurance benefits. He was in construction, so jobs were often temporary and short term.
I went through 5 pregnancies while working full time and then having to face the heartache of leaving them with a babysitter. I remember crying at the smell of my newborn’s recieving blanket as I sat in the makeshift pump room at work. The expense of paying a sitter for 5 kids and another person to pick up and drop off is not $10 or $15 an hour. And then there’s dinner and laundry to think about. For years my guest bedroom was actually a room where I dumped clean laundry because I was often washing clothes around midnight and was too exhausted to fold and put away. There are so many things! Sitting in bumper to bumper traffic as I wondered if the sitter was competent enough, feeling guilty for the unhealthy convenience foods my kids ate at times….and the list goes on. I was a total wreck that lived in survival mode for years.
But I finally made that leap and decided to stay home. And no, it didn’t happen after my husband found that “good job”. By the world’s standards it made no sense for me to leave my high paying job in a coveted position at a prestigious establishment when I have rent, car payments, 7 kids, and we live in Southern California(not cheap). But God came through for us, tremendously! I am in awe at what He has done and know his ways are best. And my kids have matching socks now, and folded clothes in drawers haha! And homemade dinner every night. It really is wonderful! Now….to tackle this Homeschooling thing.
Agreed, Kate. My husband blessed me with a weekend getaway when my youngest children were quite small. I came home refreshed. There is nothing wrong with date nights and occasional appropriate girls’ nights, unless your husband is not in support of it or comfortable at different developmental stages for the children’s care. These outings are certainly not a right we can demand as wives and mothers, but certainly appreciated if our husband’s see the value in the time of refreshment. That goes both ways. Husbands and fathers should also enjoy occasional time away if they have an opportunity to spend time with family or male friends (hunting, biking, fishing, golf, etc. are what I hear most from married friends & family).
RMR, I appreciate your comments. Number 1 strongly resonates with me. My youngest son is near your son’s age and works full-time while living at home (he pays most of his expenses). It is indeed a privilege to take care of him when he’s sick. He is very appreciative and doesn’t take my efforts for granted. My own mother died over 28 years ago (I was in my thirties), and the memory of her devoted love and care for me has always remained a warm and cherished memory. This is what I wish for my son as he goes through his own life. Your son will always have wonderful memories of your loving care, and that is a very precious thing indeed. The only “wrong” thinking is those who callously believe that sick family members should “clean up after themselves.” Blessings to you!
Good for you! It is always amazing to see how God provides when we put Him and His ways first, and raising our own children is in alignment with Scripture, as Lori teaches.
I know of so many stories of budgets that don’t work on paper, but when we come home and trust God, He opens our eyes to new ways of saving, new sources of income, and provision out of other’s abundance. I have been in charge of several “free” tables at homeschooling groups I belonged to that helped stretch our income, as well as helping many others declutter and, in turn, receive what they needed.
Yes, our children need us at home at ALL ages and in all grades. They will turn to peers instead of us if we aren’t there to guide them, and this is why so many children make foolish choices…their mothers have given up their rightful place in their children’s lives.
Dear Katherine,
I’m terribly sorry that you and your husband had such rough times when you were young. It’s a wonderful thing though, that you are giving your little ones the tools needed to be successful adults and that your husbands helps you like he does. You are blessed! You’ve given me a different perspective on child rearing and some good advice as my son heads out on his own. Thankyou!
Dear Grace-Full,
Thankyou for the story about your mother. I hope my son will remember the little things that I’ve done for him when I’m gone. It seems we have a similar perspective on parenting. Thankyou too for the blessings! Much appreciated.
Dear Kate & Anonymous,
I almost didn’t respond to your comments because they differed from my own approach to being a mom, but then the longer I pondered them, the more I realized that if I’m gonna comment, I need to expect conversation to come my way.
You girls brought up some good points. Just because my young cousins have different parenting techniques, doesn’t make them bad parents. Personally, my husband is very protective of his family, so it’s unthinkable for him to let me drive alone across 3 states, leaving my 3 mo old baby behind. He would have planned a family trip, though. My cousins are new parents, learning as they go, and they dote on their son. They love each other and more importantly, they love the Lord. Some families are spread out so that traveling alone is necessary, and my cousin is definitely close with her mom and sisters. I need to cut them some slack!
Thankyou for the comments. Still learning on the journey.
RMR,
My husband is also protective of me and our four children. You didn’t mention a long solo drive in your original comment. When I traveled away for the weekend (seven years ago), it was an hour away with a group of 8 women who drove together. As for your aunt’s comment, my place IS in the home, and that’s where I am most hours every day. A 2-day trip out of 365 a year hardly suggests irresponsibility.
I made it clear that our husband’s should be in full support of such trips and comfortable with the care of the children. It’s not a right we can demand as wives and mothers, but I also don’t believe it’s for anyone to judge a non-Biblically mandated practice that mature parents can agree to.
Additionally, when we take our yearly weekend away as a couple (with the full blessing and childcare provided by their grandparents), it’s always within driving distance so we could make it home to our children in the event of an emergency as soon as possible.
I believe we need to carefully weigh our tone around our children on the subject of extended family’s parenting practices. When questioned by my children or desire to use another’s choice as a teachable moment, I borrow Lori’s “God’s ways are best”…in regards to working mothers and lifestyle choices not aligned with scripture. I attempt to remind them of God’s provision and our thankfulness and praise for the blessings He’s bestowed upon us, knowing we deserve nothing but wrath and judgment.
Extended families will be a mix of values, but I caution everyone (including me!) to extend grace and remember our children are observing our speech. I feel that my husband and I have enough to concern ourselves in raising our own children with daily schedules, demands, and spiritual heart issues. The added concern and discussion over siblings and their families isn’t usually on our radar, but when it is, I attempt to frame the narrative in love, in hopes my children will observe a positive interaction model they can emulate when they’re grown with children of their own.
If mom is home (and not in a workplace or commuting on public transportation which are both great places to pick up an infectious disease), and the kids are home (and not in those infamous sinks of infection, daycare and government schools) then their exposure to infectious disease is greatly diminished.
Great points, Nick!