Mothers Running For Office
Sarah Stewart Holland ran for City Commission and won. I want to answer a question she asked in her post about it. “Here are some of the comments I got that I’m guessing my male opponents didn’t: Are you married? What does your husband do? These comments came from both men and women. I often got asked if I had children, which didn’t bother me. What did bother me is that several people – again men and women – openly questioned how I would have time to be a city commissioner (a part-time position) while raising three young children. The current governor of Kentucky Matt Bevin has NINE children – the oldest of which was born in 2003. Do you think anyone worries about how he’ll do his job or asks him how he’ll take care of his children? I’m guessing not.”
In case she reads this post, I will try to explain to her why this is the case. Women are the ones who bear the children in their own bodies. They are the ones who nurse their babies at their breasts. They are the ones that are more sensitive and equipped to be home full time for their children while their husbands who are stronger were created to be the protectors and providers. I knew a woman who was very involved in the political process years ago. She had young children while she was doing this and they suffered. Children need and want their mothers.
Most mothers in the “olden days” knew that they were the ones who were supposed to stay home and raise their children. There were wise enough to realize that their children were their most valuable asset. These days that we are presently living in are all mixed up, women, when women are offended when others ask them about the welfare of their young children when they get a job.
The Governor she mentioned has ten children! They adopted four children from Ethiopia and their oldest daughter was killed in a car accident when she was 17 years old, so one of his children is in heaven with Jesus. He is Southern Baptist and is blessed with a quiver full. His wife is home caring for the children, as it is supposed to be, and homeschools them. The Bevins care for the lives of children; something many in our culture no longer do. Way to go, Kentucky, for choosing a Governor like him!
Someone has to raise the children and that someone should be their mother. No one can take the place of her. This is why people worry about a woman running for an elected position because it will take her out of her home and away from her children. When will her husband get time with her? He will, most likely, be the one that is the most neglected since this is typically the case. The children will need the little time they get with her and the home needs a keeper, so she will allow her marriage to slowly become less and less important to her.
There is nothing more important she can do than to raise the next generation and have a strong, solid marriage for her children’s sake. Sure, maybe she can get a bill passed to save more eagle’s eggs, stop a shopping center being built, get more money for the schools, or something like this, but none of this can compare to raising and training her children; for these years pass quickly by. This is yet another example of our culture believing the lie that women and men’s roles are equal. They are not and what this woman and many others are fighting against is their God-ordained roles created by Him from the beginning of time.
Can a woman forget her nursing child And have no compassion on the son of her womb?
Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.
Isaiah 49:15
49 thoughts on “Mothers Running For Office”
Another great topic Lori. Another topic that for those that want to surrender to Christ have to apply Rom 12:2: “Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that …will of God.” This is a mind transformation. We have to stop talking about our experience and our opinion. We have to talk about what the Bible says. We have to ‘transform’ from our carnal way of thinking to His spiritual way of thinking by stepping out in faith, by acting on His Word, by being doers of His word, and then letting God give us understanding.
I repented recently for siding with and empowering the ‘other side’ …that which is not of Him. I repented for empowering women, for suppressing men. I repented for voting for women to be in authority over men. And in this last election I voted for no women, even when they were ‘right’ on the issues. Scripture is clear that God does not want women leading men. Prov 31:3 states it in a nutshell [the Prov 31 that no one speaks of]: “Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which destroyeth kings.” I paraphrase that as ‘God would rather have a bad man lead than a good woman lead.’
Further, women should not vote [it is no different than a woman in office]. Voting is the power to place laws and requirements over men; to tell them what to do. That is clearly a-biblical. God chastened Adam [Gen 3:17] for “hearkening to the voice of the woman” …for surrendering to her instruction, her ‘authority.’ Men, by surrendering to women in leadership are inviting the chastisement of God. And that is what is on His church this very day.
Women wrongly believe that their greatest influence is in their careers, getting involved in politics, or in their sacred “hard fought for” vote, but it is not. It is at home raising the next generation; for this is what influences society the most for good or for evil.
“As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.” (Is. 3:12)
Lori – Yes, a hundred times.
sipcode – Excellent words!! Thank you!
I was just flagged and reported for “Discrimination against women’s right to vote” to the author of my blog (me 🙂 ) for this comment I wrote on my blog. (What happened to free speech?)
I can tell you that my four godly offspring, who have all married godly spouses, and are raising godly offspring have a much greater impact upon society for good than any vote I have cast, that is for sure!
Thank you, Diana. Words that so greatly offend the majority of women today are a breathe of fresh air to women who love the Lord and His beautiful and perfect design for men and women.
You commented that men’s and women’s roles are not equal. I say they are equally different. What is one without the other? They compliment each other. Working side by side in their specifically different roles is beautiful! I was watching an old Fred Estaire movie last night and marveling at the perfection of the dance when each partner (male and female) partakes and gives in to and leads and follows. If only women (and men) could grasp the pure beauty and harmony God has provided for us when we submit to this way! Love your articles! Agree whole heartedly! From and imperfect woman, following an imperfect man with a perfect savior at the helm. PTL!
Thank you, Gretchen. Maybe I am misunderstanding you and you can clear it up but you wrote “when each partner (male and female) partakes and gives in to and leads and follows”. God has designated the husband to lead and the wife to follow.
The THOUGHT POLICE are out there. Get used to it; it has only just begun. The only freedom of speech is theirs. And let’s remember [I know you know this] that it is not because we are right or they are right; it is because IT is right. Truth is the objective, objective truth.
Yes, according to God’s design for man the leader and woman the follower. Have you ever seen these duo dancers, or the ice skaters? Its just a beautiful picture of the natural (godly design).
Yes, and I love watching them!
So do you believe that women should vote?
I sure wouldn’t have been out fighting for women’s right to vote and I don’t take it as a “sacred” thing that many do today. I believe the way women have voted has hurt our country more than helped it since many tend to be short-sighted and vote for what is best for them instead of seeing the big picture and voting for what is best for the country as a whole. But I do vote and I’m not going to do anything to try to take it away from women. It is what it is.
Just out of curiosity, what do you mean “flagged and reported”? Is there some sort of blog monitoring agency that people can report discrimination to? And what are the potential consequences if they feel it is a recurring thing? Do they have the authority to shut down a blog? Forgive my ignorance on the subject, I am just honestly curious. I know on YouTube or Facebook obviously they can monitor comments or remove content, but what about a blog? Who is in charge of that?
Readers can report inappropriate comments and I have received some before so I deleted the comments. It was before I moderated my comments. It won’t be a recurring thing on my blog since I moderate all comments. I am the only one that has the authority to shut this blog down for now. As long as the Constitution prevails, we still have the freedom of speech. This blog domain is my own. We pay for it.
Hi, Lori – I thought I’d leave a comment on Camila’s question regarding women voting. I concluded several years ago that it is not biblical for women to vote, because it is usurping leadership over men. But because women can vote in this country, I accept my ballot (we do early ballots) and hand it over to my husband – so that he votes twice for our family.
I should tell you too that this has had an amazingly positive impact on my marriage. Before, it was always ME getting out the voting information, doing the research, filling out the ballot, and telling my husband who to vote for – at the same time being incredibly irritated at his lack of initiative in this area. When I surrendered this area to his leadership and stopped nagging him about it, he gradually stepped up to the plate and now does his political research diligently and takes responsibility for voting. Just like in other areas of marriage, it has taken my stepping back to allow him to step up to take over godly leadership of our home, and giving him that responsibility has increased his sense of pride and accomplishment as a husband and leader.
My two cents! 🙂
I agree with you, Diana. It’s so easy for us to want to take charge and be the leader in the home. Nothing that feminists have fought for is what matters to the Lord so it shouldn’t matter to us. In fact, it has done way more harm than good, including the voting situation. Politics isn’t our life. Living for the Lord, loving Him, and obeying Him brings glory to Him and this is what matters to Him. I always vote the same way Ken does to support his vote, not negate it.
I’m not sure about the laws in America, but here in New Zealand, it is illegal to discriminate against a woman’s right to vote. (Or to discriminate against a woman’s right to do ANYTHING)
That we were the first country in the world to give women the vote is something that most Kiwi’s are proud of, and when immigrants to our country try to stop their wives from voting, we object.
However, this is a personal blog, and your personal thoughts, including your belief that women shouldn’t vote (if that is in fact your belief) should be allowed, in my opinion.
In our house, my husband chooses not to vote, but he encourages me to do so. We always discuss it beforehand and we decide together who we will vote for, then I cast my vote. I can see potentially quite great problems, if a wife voted in direct opposition to her husband.
As our political system here is so different, I’m not really sure what the role of a City Commissioner entails, but I can’t imagine how a woman would manage to both give 100% to the city she is representing, and 100% to her husband and children as well.
Yes, I work part-time (school hours) but my job doesn’t entail giving so much of myself that I’m too exhausted for my family at the end of my working day, as I can imagine a City Commissioner would be. If I’m understanding the role correctly, a City Commissioner would always be on call, and be giving so much of herself, totally devoted to her city, that her children and husband would be relegated to second/third place.
New Zealand has many women in politics, including in the top positions, but those at the very top don’t have young children (or any children at all in some cases). But unfortunately, our laws are geared in favour of both parents working. Maybe this is because of the number of women we have in politics? Here, women are not encouraged to stay home with their children. Society (and the government) looks down on us and hinders us when we try to do so.
I applaud your honest proclamation of the TRUTH.
Lol to KK. Doesn’t matter what laws in any country are.
KK,
Know any women who are divorced and have kids?
I can agree with women not being in leadership in church. but I think women not being able to vote is too extreme. Just because the husband has the final say in the home does not mean the wife has no voice. A Godly man will seek council from his wife before making a final decision. Otherwise, he is a dictator.
Also, if women could not vote, single women and widows would have no voice.
We, as wonen, are still citizens of our country and should help support Godly leaders.
Actually, this year, I voted and my husband didn’t (though he would have voted the same as me). I just couldn’t sit by and risk Hillary winning the White House.
“it has taken my stepping back to allow him to step up to take over godly leadership of our home”
This is an incredibly important principle that Diane mentions [and Lori echoes]. Men have gone underground — given up– for 2 primary reasons:
1) women jump in their way, and after fighting dragons all day men don’t have the energy to fight them at home every day [think back generations of this compounding, not just in your man]. Men would take care of business in their own way and in their own time [think how God does not respond in YOUR time], but after fighting resistance to their authority lovingly for extended periods [and that way of life being passed down for generations] men give up because the only remaining alternative is to fight their woman like they would fight a man. And we all know that is not good, which leads to the 2nd point.
2) This is materially exacerbated because marriage has no remedy to enforce authority, like every other authority has. ‘Trey’ brought this question up a few days ago in a post here: “What I have not figured out yet is what a husband is supposed to do if his (self proclaimed) Godly wife refuses to repent.” Without a remedy, there are no teeth in a husband’s authority. Women know this, even if subconsciously, and abuse their husband’s authority to varying degrees. And it is no wonder that as this abuse has grown exponentially over the last several decades, that it has modeled abuse of all other authorities: rebellious children, rebellious students, obviously sinful people in churches, slacker employees, cop killings, general lawlessness in society, etc.
Certainly this will be a controversial topic to delve into but I leave you with something to ponder [as did Trey]: why has this happened to the husband’s authority and what, if anything, should be done about it. If this can be answered, I suggest that the ship could be righted in God’s people in a generation or two. Can we look at the other authorities for clues? If we are willing to transform our minds from the world’s way of thinking we can get there.
Amen that!
Kelley~
Hi there Lori, I am so sad someone reported you. Can I ask you what happens when someone does reports you are you made to take down the post? And do you get to know who the person is?
Not good. ?
Jilly ???
I laughed and kept my comment up. It was no big deal. I see much worse.
I am so pleased you could laugh at it Lori, so very pleased.
???
Dear Lori,
I think giving Dave a platform to voice his support of spousal punishment – which can very quickly lead to abuse – is undermining your views as a submissive wife. We, as Christian women, are obligated to be submissive to our husband as the Bible says. However, it is the husbands responsibility to “… live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. ” (1 Peter 3:7) and “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. ” (Colossians 3:19) I recognize that admonishing men (since you don’t directly teach them) isn’t in your wheelhouse. However, as it seems as you have no problem censoring others comments whose opinions you don’t like or questions you don’t care to answer, you might want to really think upon the impact Dave’s comments have in your ministry. ie. what he’s promoting and what impact his views might have upon your readers and if they’re Biblical views to begin with.
He is not looking for a way for husbands to physically abuse their wives in any way, Sarah. My husband mentors men whose wives are downright cruel to them. There is a young man that had to flee his home because of the physically abuse he suffered from his wife. They are simply looking for some way that they can stop being undermined by their wives continually.
A few years ago, Sunshine Mary wrote a post about her husband refusing to buy her a dishwasher because she kept putting her knives into the dishwasher after he asked her not to and many women thought this was awful for her husband to do. I do not.
If a wife is spending all of a husband’s money and causing him to go bankrupt, you don’t believe it’s okay if he cuts up her credit cards? There’s one woman who just had a $1,200 bill for her cell phone and her husband has no way to pay this. You don’t think he should be able to take her phone away? Do you think husbands, who God has appointed the head over their wives, have nothing they can do if they are married to a wife that causes them grief by her actions?
Do you think, Lori, that the word “harsh” may be a key word in that verse that Sarah mentioned? So perhaps a husband does have that authority to “not buy the dishwasher” so to speak, but ideally he would do it in love, not in anger.
I can see where Dave is coming from, and maybe he is just very straight forward, but there seems to be some bitterness. Forgive me if I’m wrong, Dave.
A woman’s role in the home and in the church does have incredibly far-reaching consequences, yet if that were the only reason for the decline in our society, the Lord may not have needed to give us the rest of the Bible.
(Lori, I hope this is not too straightforward of me!)
Hi Dave
I personally have had a few interesting conversations on the matter of the husband’s authority, and how the husband can best get it back, but this is probably not the best forum to repeat it. However, I asked my husband and his belief is that there is NOTHING the average man can do to take back his authority – the laws, society etc. do not allow him to do that. The woman must choose to give his authority back to him.
Many years ago, in my family history anyway, when men still had authority over their wives, very many men were abusive of this authority and treated their wives very badly indeed (I’m not sure if this is typical, but it’s certainly true in my family) so it’s actually no wonder, when you look at it that way, that the laws are the way they are – to protect women from the authority of men.
In everything else, when we have something and abuse it, we lose it; is this what has happened to men? Men before them abused their authority, so they lost it? I’m sure the abusive men were in the minority, but isn’t that always the way? The minority ruin it for the majority?
@ Jeff
Oh it ABSOLUTELY matters what the law in different countries is!!
Yes, I know women who are divorced and have kids. I also know women with kids who are fleeing abusive relationships and have nowhere to go … and I know many happy, loving couples, both with and without kids. Was there a point to your “LOL”?
I have to admit to not knowing a great deal about American politics. But honestly, America is now a laughing-stock in much of the world. Over this side of the planet, we’re wondering why on earth, with the billions of people that your country has in it, how on earth you peace figured Donald Trump is the best you’ve got?
Content wife.
They do not need a voice. Before the gubmunt stepped in, widows were taken care of and the needy too.
Single women? The ones who were unhappy and kicked their husbands to the curb, took his house, kids, and part of his pay check?
If women are so strong and independent why do they need to take his money and house? Can’t they support themselves?
Who gets to decide what is harsh? Ah, the wife.
Is sexual refusal abuse and harsh?
Women will vote for what benefits themselves, not society as a whole. Why do you think most women voters are Democrats? Handouts. How does that benefit society?
I completely agree Lori!!
Lori, I implore you not to allow men with an axe to grind against women to have a platform on your blog. Most of Jedf’s comments are opinions and not Biblically sound.
Christian men, ought not to neglect wives, but we, as a society, need to show the less fortunate among us compassion and grant rights so that they may be viable parts of society. A short history lesson to explain how we ended up with women’s rights: Single women, prior to the Civil War, had the right to enter into contracts, buy and sell real estate, or accumulate personal property. This applied to free black women, as well, but I would suspect in certain states/areas of the US, these rights weren’t granted as often due to race. Upon marriage, women had limited legal rights but no longer had autonomy and were almost entirely dependent upon their husbands other than any property brought into the marriage by women remained under their control and the husband could not do as he wished with it. One rule that was used to mitigate some of these effects was that women were allowed to sue if he wasn’t appropriately providing for her. During judgement, a women was permitted by a judge to use her husbands accounts to provide for herself. The rule was used in order to prevent men from neglecting their wives. Widows were provided for through a dower, they were permitted to retain residences in the homes the husband purchased and 1/3 or his assets (if with children) or 1/2 (without children). These legal systems were carried over from the colonial days and faltered when faced with an expanding and industrializing society as property transferred more frequently and didn’t allow for adequate protection to women and denied them the ability to safeguard their own interests.
I don’t agree that sexual refusal is ‘abuse.’ 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. ” I feel that this is speaking to mutual consent. We should not deprive each other and should strive for intimacy and closeness in our relationship. However, with mutual authority over each others bodies, if I (as a woman) ‘don’t feel like it,’ I have authority over my husband’s body to say no. If this is a consistent refusal, then it is wrong, but I am within my rights as long as my husband isn’t deprived. A good analogy to this would be not to deprive your children of good food, meaning that regular, healthy meals are needed for your child to be healthy. What this doesn’t mean is if they’d like to eternally eat junk food, I have to say yes every time so that they aren’t ‘deprived.’
I’m with you.
I used to love this blog, because it was so encouraging, but the bitter men commenting here have put me off completely. Reading their comments, it is easy to see why their marriages are unhappy.
Sadly, if these comments by these bitter men continue, I will be looking elsewhere for my encouragement.
You don’t have to read them, Sarah and KK. I don’t find them offensive at all for some reason but it takes a lot to offend me. They don’t.
Love “does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered” (1 Cor. 13:5)
Jeff – why were the women unhappy? If a woman is married to a good, Godly man who is living as the Bible tells him to live, treating his wife as the Bible tells him to treat her, she is going to be happy.
Again, why is sexual refusal happening? How is the woman being treated that makes her want to refuse her husband?
I used to love this blog, Lori’s posts are so encouraging and helpful, and since I started reading it I have been inspired to become a more Godly, submissive wife and my husband has appreciated it. However, these comments from bitter men have ruined the encouragement that I get from it. It’s clear why their marriages are failing, but coming on a blog for women, to complain about women, isn’t helping anybody. Not their marriages, and not women seeking encouragement.
Thanks Lori, I won’t be reading them.
Sadly, I’ll no longer be reading this blog. If giving bitter men a platform to complain about women is more important to you than actually encouraging women (which you’re so good at), I’ll look elsewhere for my encouragement. There is no shortage of Christian blogs for women on the internet, who don’t allow bitter men to comment.
Thanks for all the posts you’ve shared, I’ve really enjoyed reading them and have learned so much.
No, not necessarily, KK. I know women who are married to godly men and they are not happy at all! Everyone is responsible for their own happiness and to place the need to make another happy is wrong.
A wife shouldn’t refuse her husband regardless of how she is being treated since our obedience to the Lord doesn’t depend on anyone else but our own self since we will one day stand before the Lord and give an account of our own behavior, not our husband’s.
Again, don’t read their comments if they bother you so much. They don’t comment that often but they have every right to comment. Women can learn from them too.
Hi Lori, I’m sure you’re right, that there are women married to Godly men who are unhappy … a great many women battle depression and this is nothing to do with their husbands, it’s a mental health problem.
However, I don’t think women can learn very much from bitter men complaining about women. This is your blog and if you think it’s good for readership to allow these bitter comments, that’s your choice. I, however, will be seeking out other blogs, because this no longer feels like a safe place for me.
I showed my husband the comments on several of your posts and he doesn’t want me reading this blog any longer because of them because they are in no way edifying for me 🙁
Kk,
My appologies. No offense is meant.
Lori,
My appolgies to you as well.
What I and other “bitter” men are saying is that women have agency. The old saying goes, “if a man is unhappy in marriage it is his fault. If a woman is unhappy in marriage it is his fault.” Nothing to do with depression.
God doesn’t care what the law is in your country or mine. That is what I meant. If a person is unsubmissive to Him and his Word (command) it doesn’t matter what the law says in any country, you are still being unsubmissive to Him.
Most of the offense comes from seeing friends and loved ones be taken advantage (abused) by their wives and the state for doing nothing but trying to protect and provide for their family.
Abortion in America has taken the lives of over 58,000,000. That is more Americans than were killed in ALL the wars fought by Americans including the Revolution War before we were Americans. AND THIS IS ONLY THE LAST 40 YEARS. If you want talk about abuse and the hearts of women, we must acknowledge that women have killed more innocent humans than men in all wars combined.
No offense meant. It is only factual leading to discussion as to who, what, and why.
No offense taken, Jeff. I would never scold or try to shame the men who comment on this blog and I only allow those comments that are appropriate, therefore, if your comment is on my blog, I have approved it. I agree with you.
I adore reading comments. It is incredibly informative to read the testimonies and experiences of others so that I may learn from their successes and failures and do better in my own life. I’d actually love to see more women in discussion in the comments section to better understand God’s teachings.
I’ve also been reading your blog for years now, and very frequently you’re offended by women’s behavior, and yet not by men’s. I understand that you don’t want to shame or rebuke a man as it’s not in God’s word, but as a Biblically-based blog, I feel comments without a Biblical center ought not to appear… especially from a man. It would be amazing to feel supported by your male readership in our quest for submissiveness rather than blamed for the troubles in the world.
If you’re living a godly, submissive life, Sarah, they are not blaming you at all. Why are you offended by what they say? I am a woman, also, and it doesn’t offend me in the least because I am not who they are writing about.
I believe we, as Christians, should support one another and not tear each other down
“Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing. ” (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. ” (Ephesians 4:29)
“That their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God’s mystery, which is Christ” (Colossians 2:2)
Hi Lori
Sadly, it appears some of the women who read you blog are surprised men would want to read it too. Stating they will no longer read it because you allow men to comment seems extreme to me. I enjoy this blog very much, have commented a few times, and agree with your writings probably more than many of the women who comment. Keep up the good work.
Thank you, Patrick.
Sipcode,
I’m fairly familiar with Holy Scripture, so I recognize many of the passages you cite. But (honest question), how do you know your interpretation of those passages is correct? What is it that makes you certain your human understanding of divine writings is not somehow flawed? Some of the passages you quote I have actually heard/read with a completely different interpretation that makes perfect sense.
I ask because I have studied many Christian denominations/groups and most (if not all) claim to be following “the absolute, unadulterated Word of God” (or some statement similar to that). And yet very few of these groups even get along with one another because of their difference in doctrine – all while supposedly following the exact same words in the exact same Book! Needless to say, this is confusing to the average layperson.
What case can you make that you are right and all others are wrong?