Written By Pastor Matthew  Trewhella

Divorce is an ugly thing. It mires the mind of a child. It leaves him ill­ prepared and at a distinct disadvantage with his peers for the life that lies ahead of him or her. It removes all innocence. What order his life once had is left strewn on the floor. The most foundational part of his life which gives cohesiveness to his existence is gone. Life no longer has the promise it once did.

I remember my brothers and sister walking around looking shell ­shocked for days after that news. Like refugees of some war-torn city. But the reverberations of a divorce on a child goes on much longer – for days, months, years, and decades. You never truly see all the negative consequences until you have your own children, until you grow old as a man.

American society has made it their sole point when it comes to divorce to try and remove any shame associated with it (just watch the 18 million Hollywood films trying to convince us of this). This is the mission. This is the virtue. We should have no shame associated with divorce. A divorced child should never feel bad, inferior, or abnormal about his parents being divorced.

They strain at a gnat while they swallow camels.

You can do all the rationalization you want to try and convince yourself that your divorce (which 80 percent of the time has something to do with the “happiness” of the parent) is “better” for your children. The truth is – divorce is an ugly thing. It has far ­reaching, long ­lasting implications and consequences.

Every scientific study ever done on children from divorced homes proves that assertion – overwhelmingly. And every child from a divorced home doesn’t need a scientific study to convince him or her of the awfulness of divorce.

It sickens my heart when I overhear people talking to people having trouble in their marriage and they encourage the person – with the most ­self­-absorbed
arguments – to end their marriage.

Divorce is like a bad plague – it spreads from home to home.

For the LORD, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the LORD of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously.
Malachi 2:16