Your Kids Should Not Be the Most Important

Your Kids Should Not Be the Most Important

Written By John Rosemond in Naples Daily News

I recently asked a married couple who have three kids, none of whom are yet teens, “Who are the most important people in your family?”

Like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they answered, “Our kids!”

“Why?” I then asked. “What is it about your kids that gives them that status?” And like all good moms and dads of this brave new millennium, they couldn’t answer the question other than to fumble with appeals to emotion.

So, I answered the question for them? “There is no reasonable thing that gives our children that status.”

I went on to point out that many if not most of the problems they’re having with their kids – typical stuff, these days – are the result of treating their children as if they, their marriage, and their family exist because of the kids when it is, in fact, the other way around. Their kids exist because of them and their marriage and thrive because they have created a stable family.

Furthermore, without them, their kids wouldn’t eat well, have the nice clothing they wear, live in the nice home in which they live, enjoy the great vacations they enjoy, and so on. Instead of lives that are relatively carefree (despite the drama to the contrary that they occasionally manufacture), their children would be living lives full of worry and want.

This issue is really the heart of the matter. People my age know it’s the heart of the matter because when we were kids it was clear to us that our parents were the most important people in our families. And that, right there, is why we respected our parents and that, right there is why we looked up to adults in general. Yes, Virginia, once upon a time the United States of America, children were second class citizens, to their advantage.

It was also clear to us – I speak, of course, in general terms, albeit accurate – that our parents’ marriages were more important to them than the relationships with us. Therefore, we did not sleep in their beds or interrupt their conversations. The family meal, at home, was regarded as more important than after-school activities. Mom and Dad talked more – a lot more – with one another than they talk with you. For lack of pedestals, we emancipated earlier and much more successfully than have children since.

The most important person in an army is the general. The most important person in a corporation is the CEO. The most important person in a classroom is the teacher. And the most important person in a family are the parents.

The most important thing about children is the need to prepare them properly for responsible citizenship. The primary objective should not be raising a straight-A student who excels at three sports, earns a spot on the Olympic swim team, goes to an a-list university and becomes a prominent brain surgeon. The primary objective is to raise a child such that community and culture are strengthened.

“Our child is the most important person in our family” is the first step toward raising a child who feels entitled.

You don’t want that. Unbeknownst to your child, he doesn’t need that. And neither does America.

Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise.
Ephesians 6:2

4 thoughts on “Your Kids Should Not Be the Most Important

  1. I agree totally, l grew up in the 50’s and we waited until my father got home to eat dinner. We helped with meal preparation and cleanup while mom and dad had coffee. We did our homework with out being told. All my friends parents did the same.

  2. Boy, he nailed it. I cannot tell you how many times I am engaged in conversation with a friend and her child walks up and starts talking. Instead of holding up a finger to the child and making them wait, the mother turns to them and I wait. Children today are just lacking in common courtesy. I am sad for them really, not so much aggravated.

  3. I was raised to put God first, husband second, kids third. It seems to work well that way.

    My 4 children all work hard to earn their pocket money, my 14 year old son has a part-time after-school job. If they want something other than the general things we provide (food, clothes, shoes, haircuts, school items etc) they need to save up their pocket money and buy it themselves. Because it’s required for school, the two eldest (12 & 14) have WiFi-capable phones/tablets but they don’t have any other devices or gadgets.

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