Awakening the Beast
Most teenagers awaken the beast. The beast is not something you want to awaken before marriage. Once it’s awakened, it causes untold damage. You must teach your children to FLEE fornication like Joseph did. If they don’t, they will harm their own bodies. “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18).
We live in a highly sexualized culture. Sex sells almost everything. Pornography is rampant and at a click of the finger. It’s all over TV these days. Songs are about it. All of this is used to entice people away from the beauty that God designed sex to be, namely within a marriage. Before marriage, fornication can lead to STDs, infertility, abortion, single motherhood, guilt, comparisons once married, divorce, and a broken relationship with Jesus Christ. Satan’s goal is to kill, steal, and destroy. He loves fornication. You must be completely honest with your teenagers.
Give them boundaries in order to protect themselves. Let them know that boundaries are for their good. If they aren’t given boundaries, they will most likely succumb to fornication, the beast, and the harm it will cause. If you allow them to be alone with a member of the opposite sex, the beast will slowly come out. It will begin innocently enough with a few kisses. Kissing gets the beast going. Then it will lead to petting and then heavy petting. It will feel so good that they won’t want to stop.
Finally, they will have intercourse. It probably won’t be like the movies present themselves. It won’t be this ecstasy that they imagined. No, it will most likely be painful for the girl. Right afterwards, they will be flooded with guilt IF they have been raised with Truth being taught in their homes. They will feel vulnerable and ashamed. Fornication is short term pleasure for long term pain. Once the couple have fornicated once, the beast is out and it’s almost impossible to put it back to sleep.
On the contrary, if strict boundaries are put up and the teenagers agree to them since they want to live according to God’s Word (they have seen the fruit of obedience and know it’s for their good), then they will want to do everything within their power to remain pure for marriage. They may not want to kiss or even slightly awaken the beast until their wedding day. They won’t do things alone but will have long conversations on the phone and be with their families enjoying life instead, not giving themselves over to any type of sexual hint.
Then on their wedding night, they can begin to learn to enjoy their spouse as God intended. No, it still probably won’t be like Hollywood portrays but there will be absolutely no guilt afterwards. They will cuddle together and be satisfied. They will learn what pleases each other, and there is no beast within the marriage bed. It’s only good. If they happen to get pregnant right away, it’s good! They are receiving a wonderful blessing from God and beginning to fill up their quiver with arrows.
You must teach your children the great harm of sex before marriage and the beauty of it in marriage. Have them memorize Romans 12:1,2 from the time they are little so they will grow up knowing that God’s ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect. You will have saved your children from the beast and from the harm that it does. You must be diligent in this wicked generation because children who are not rebellious appreciate boundaries and doing things God’s ways.
Virginity is NOT a social construct. It’s God’s construct, and He wants His people who are called by His name to value virginity and marriage. He tells us that it is better to marry than to burn. Don’t make your older children have all of their ducks in order before marriage. Let them struggle financially in the early years of marriage. Struggling isn’t bad. Fornication is. Struggling financially is good and causes them to mature in their faith as they learn to trust God and His provision while they walk in obedience to Him.
Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2
62 thoughts on “Awakening the Beast”
Very needful article, Lori, and spot on. Churches rarely teach on sin these days, which leads to massive dysfunction.
“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, until he please.”
Song of Solomon 8:4
Once love is woke, it is very difficult to ever put back to sleep.
Also, there is another problem that must be discussed, and that is masturbation. That is just as sinful as porn, homosexuality, fornication, and adultery.
It is a perversion of what God created. He did not create humans to give themselves pleasure, he designed sex to lead us into a relationship with the opposite sex in marriage.
There used to be a severe social stigma associated with masturbation. The Founder of Kellogg’s detailed it in his masterful “Plain Facts for Old and Young”, written in 1879.
http://www.gutenberg.org/files/19924/19924-h/19924-h.htm
He favored eugenics and sex in marriage ONLY for procreation, both wrong, but everything else in that book is absolutely spot on.
We are taught by the wicked media, schools, and tech companies that doing whatever we feel like is perfectly wonderful. But, it’s not. The person who indulges in masturbation as a child will find it far harder to remain a virgin until marriage, than the one who abstains.
1 Peter 2:11 Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;
Masturbation and all sex outside heterosexual marriage weaken the individual and society, and they attack confidence or lead to a false self confidence rooted in pride and arrogance.
Masturbation also severely interferes with the mans ability to lead. A man who masturbates is far more docile and passive in a marriage, or, he can be far more aggressive and abusive. Any human who masturbates is selfish, as the act is one of the most selfish single acts known to man. Rather than selflessly giving pleasure to a spouse in marriage, which is absolutely satisfying long and short term, masturbation severs love.
There has been some theorizing that Gollum from Lord of the Rings, was an allegory for the effects of masturbation on people. He goes from a wonderful young life, to becoming miserable and lonely, with his “precious”, and that exactly exemplifies what masturbation does. It warps the personality. It takes a child who is full of joy, peace, purity, wonder, courage, and love, and transforms them into a child who is morose, disconsolate, cowardly, isolated, fearful, often depressed, and fixated selfishly on themselves and their needs.
The vast majorities of today’s problems with youth have their roots in masturbation. All these pseudo mental illnesses I.e. ADHD, ADD, and much more, can be traced back to the folly and attack on the intellect of masturbation.
This is why so many kids have such a hard time learning today, because a kid who masturbates will have a very hard tim concentrating, without which genius and the cultivation of the intellect are nearly impossible.
“Genius is an infinite capacity for taking pains”
Thomas Carlyle
I’ll never understand the concept of sexual compatibility. If you save yourself for one person and stay with them for the rest of your life, than what comparison will you have? What factor decides that the two aren’t compatible if the only factors are yourself and the other? It just doesn’t make sense logically. Sexual compatibility between virgins only makes sense if there’s porn involved to base your ideas off of. So by the world’s logic, how do I know I’m compatible with the one I want to marry? Easy. There’s no such thing because we’re both virgins and have nothing to compare each other to. This whole compatibility thing is just another nonexistent concept that excuses sin.
Great wisdom.
Thank you for this wonderful reminder! Will you please give some tips on worldview training. I know quite a few young adults who grew up knowing the truth but then went down the rabbit hole of on-line humanism and have rejected the truth.
All those learning disabilities, ADHD etc are all apparent in primary school, often earlier. Young children are hardly going to be masturbating. Their bodies are not developed enough for them to do so.
Ohh yes.
I have come across that illogical statement a lot of times and never really got it until the day I realized that it is being used to normalize pre-marital sex.I had even seen this comment by a woman when I was using 9GAG.
This liberal stance on pre-marital sex is the reason I left that degenerate place.I hate it.
Another illogical statement is that “it just happened.It was a mistake!”
NO.Just NO.
You exactly knew what you were getting into and what valuable gift you were losing that day.
It was your choice.
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The problem is women try to make it sound like it is not their mistake.
More evil are the elders who shame men into accepting such women.
They get into it quite young. There are two extremes to avoid. The one is negligence and total inattention to the subject, the other is harsh, severe, and draconian disapproval of the child struggling with it.
Most mental illnesses are totally bogus, and are simply the result of unresolved guilt. Freud was a tremendous fraud and a libertine, who flat out admitted his motivation was to be paid, and he is considered the father of psychiatry. Psychiatry was a clever method to circumvent the moral laws of the Bible, by substituting the balderdash of blaming the environment. The great truth is our destiny depends on our response to circumstances, not the adverse circumstances themselves.
Nearly all mental illnesses didn’t exist just a century ago. There will always be lunatics, but the scripture holds true, “God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love, and of a sound mind”
I’ve said this before, but it’d not just a moral issue: its a common sense issue. What does a teenager like me or an adult gain from sexual relations outside of marriage? More specifically, what does a woman have to gain from it? A moment of pleasure at the most, but more often than not, nothing. Nothing good, that is. Guilt, STDs, shame, a confession to bring to a husband, abandonment by the man….the sexual revolution that the old school radical feminists waged never benefitted women. It only benefitted men. It was a slap in the face to the women who relied on their predecessors to gain freedom. The real modern day rebels are the women who don’t give in to men in the area of sexual favors unless they’re married. That does more for women than any aspect of the sexual revolution ever did.
“I charge you, O ye daughters of Jerusalem, by the roes, and by the hinds of the field, that ye stir not up, nor awake my love, till he please” {Song of Solomon 2:7}.
Sorry, but I don’t agree with you. I have Tourettes Syndrome and I can assure you it’s absolutely real. There’s nothing bogus about it. The OCD and anxiety that go along with it are absolutely real as well. It’s caused by lack of dopamine in the brain and needs both a genetic and environmental link to develop (the MMR vaccine at 18 months old was the environmental trigger for me). It is not bogus!
My husband has been diagnosed with a mental illness too, and that is absolutely real, stemming from abandonment as a child and worsened by drugs. He’s struggled with it all his life. It’s certainly not bogus. There is a reason God commands women to be at home with their babies: He knows it’s necessary for bonding, for babies to be attached to their mothers. In some cultures, mothers wear their babies nearly 24/7. God planned it this way – He knows mothers and babies need to be together in those important early weeks – that lack of attachment has catastrophic effects. When my husband was abandoned in the hospital for the first 6 weeks of his life, mostly ignored by the busy nurses who cared for him, it affected the way his brain developed. He was then adopted into a family where the mother worked full-time. Again, no time to form that special bond with a mother, as God designed us to need. That’s why it’s so important for mothers to be at home with their babies. God knew what He was doing when He gave that commandment.
I have a diploma in child psychology. None of these disorders are bogus; they’re just not. They’re very real, they’re very damaging, and they require special treatment. No they don’t stem from masturbation. They’re often genetic and usually need an environmental trigger as well (vaccination etc) and parents can see them developing in their children as they grow, but be powerless to stop it.
Mental illness DID exist a century ago, we just didn’t know as much about it as we do now. A little over a century ago, women were locked up in asylums for “hysterics” – what we know now as post-natal-depression. They were “treated” with electric shocks – something that we know now is akin to torture.
Masturbation is problematic, because it leads to sin. But it’s got absolutely nothing to do with the development of children.
What do we have to gain from any sin? Sin is tempting because Satan makes it that way. But sin most often only leads to more sin. Nothing good can ever come from it.
I am so pleased to see teenagers resisting sin. You give me hope 🙂
Im going to have a long detailed question and answer talk with my daughter in a few years about women pair bonding- premarital sex. Women typically pair bond with the first or definitely one of the first few men they have sex with. Ive seen it many times including a girl i dated who it is obvious is still in love with me despite leaving me as cruelly as possible 20 years ago.
You do not want to b one of these women. I listen to them lament about an ex and they are really just telling me about the emotional place in their heart this man will always occupy. Not their husband no matter what he does. Not logic and sound reasoning about their current situation and children. Its always this guy.
And then of course i married one of these women. Totally in love with a guy she hasnt seen in 10years. She cant even tell you 1 good time they had? One day she shows me a picture of him and there is no metric that any woman would consider him more attractive than myself. There was truly nothing i could do to make her love me. Society tells women the past is temporary and its every mans job to ignore anything you did. No one tells them they will never forget about it.
After seeing this first hand its 1 of the reasons i would never have premarital sex again.
“It only benefitted men.”
It only benefits the subset of men who are Cads. For the average man, it means the guy who was a jerk to him in high school also got to have his way with his wife before he got her.
It also leads to abortion. A woman trading her baby’s entire life for a few moments of pleasurable vaginal contractions.
Sexual compatibility – It’s a phrase mostly used by women because most women are only attracted to a fairly small minority of men. Sexually incompatible is the fear of a relationship with a man she doesn’t want to have sex with but might have to settle for.
Men have much less of a problem with “sexual compatibility” This inequality in attraction is probably partly natural but is compounded by how girls are raised away from the home in an immodest culture and by men being treated as low status rather than seen as the head and as an image of God.
“He favored eugenics and sex in marriage ONLY for procreation, both wrong, but everything else in that book is absolutely spot on.”
Sex isn’t only for procreation – but the sex act should be open to children, the natural consequence of God’s design.
It’s true. This thing of having sex before marriage to see if you are sexually compatible, or even living together before marriage to make sure to know if you’re compatible is the most stupid thing ever. It is an excuse for the boyfriend or the girlfriend to keep their options open which is why women who had premarital sex with multiples partner or had cohabitate are more likely to ger divorced.
It only benefit bad guys who want to take advantage of insecure women who gave it up easily. Then these same women are going to expect a traditional man pay full-price for that gave for free to another guy.
In western cultures, women don’t expect men to pay full-price, half-price or any price for them – women are not commodities to be bought and sold and paid for. We don’t swap women for camels anymore. Actually, have women *ever* been swapped for camels? Or is that just something I read in a book?
Women who indulge in pre-marital sex are generally feminists who are gainfully employed and quite proudly proclaim that they don’t need men. The thought of a traditional man who wants to “pay a price” for them is abhorrent to them.
Even those of us who do want traditional men and who did/are saving themselves for marriage, don’t appreciate being thought of as an object that a man “pays a price” for. What do they pay, exactly? My husband paid nothing for me. He doesn’t own me. I am his, because I choose to be. Not because he “paid” for me.
Mental illness, particularly in the young, like ADHD, are usually quite evident from age 2 or 3. My son is 9, and has no concept or curiosity about sexuality and doesn’t notice differences in women and men’s bodies. He has never be exposed to another caregiver other than his parents. However, he does have ADHD and it’s because my kidneys failed when he was in utero, which deprived his brain of oxygen and altered the neuro-chemical environment. Not only does he have ADHD, but he has a lot of anxiety – due to neuro-receptors in his brain being traumatized while he was developing. He is very brilliant – but he is not neurologically normal. The most severe categories of mental illnesses are those categorized by an inability to feel empathy, guilt or remorse. Most people suffering with these disorders, know they are different from a very early age – usually 5 to 7. So, that sort of blows your ‘guilt over masturbation’ theory out of the water. My best friend’s mother (who was born in 1922, btw – so nearly 100 years ago) suffers from schizophrenia. Her parents dealt with it by allowing her to marry at 18, and have children – who grew up in their grandparents homes with a mother in an institution and a father who abandoned them. Her mother is still living, is as crazy as they get – and has perfectly rational reasons for her behavior. She’s not felt guilt in her entire 98 years on earth as far as I can tell.
“No metric that any woman would consider him more attractive than myself”
Are you sure about that? Do you know what all women find attractive in a man? You can’t possibly – because we’re all different. What some of us swoon over, another woman wouldn’t glance at twice.
Besides, it’s not all about looks for women. The man’s personality is what makes him attractive. And once again, women all have different tastes there, too.
You can line up photos of 10 different Hollywood actors and each woman will find a different one the most attractive. If their personality traits were listed, women would still pick differently from each other.
You’re right about women holding a special place in their heart for their first man, though. I think this is probably why God commanded us to be virgins until marriage – because he designed us women to bond tightly to that man we lost our virginity to and He knew how hard marriage would be if we married someone other than that one man who will forever hold that special place in our heart.
Hey B.Gordon..sorry for the late reply.
“Sexual compatibility – It’s a phrase mostly used by women because most women are only attracted to a fairly small minority of men.”
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Women are attracted to small minority of men but is it true for most of history or just for the past century…to be precise after the 1920s when dating became the norm.
I believe dating,although being pretty new on the human life scale,is already a big flop.A system where attraction is the main glue of companionship rather than friendship,morals,values,mutual life goals,loyalty and good upbringing…what can we expect??
And to say that most young adults “know what is better for themselves” is really laughable.
Had that been the case,then why did the divorce rates and unhappy relationships and unhappy marriages started to spike the same time as when the parents of the individual(unmarried young girls and young women particularly) gave full autonomy to their children in choosing a lifelong mate.
U.S. divorce courts are full of “love at first sight” cases which just outright wrong way of choosing a lifelong mate.
Hey Darly…how are you doing bro!?
I agree that it is an excuse but a real terrible one.
Persoanlly I can see this excuse used by notorious young men who manipulate the innocent girl into sleeping with her.
Pathetic!!
Women really have a special place in their heart to whom they give their virginity to.
I think the “pay full price” was meant as an analogy.
Both men and women give something up when they commit to a permanent relationship. Men give up a lot and, in traditional marriage, sacrifice a lot. So do women, in their own way. The point is that the men that women give themselves to first, don’t have to give much of anything up, including commitment. They don’t have to work for 40+ years at a job they hate. And all too often they get the woman’s best years and what a wife should save for her husband.
Even feminist women still want husbands who contribute to the couple’s overall wealth, and don’t like men who make much less than them. When they marry, they want the increased wealth and assets (bigger home, nicer cars, 401K) of a dual income couple. So the husband still pays.
Yes, husbands don’t “buy” and therefore own wives as chattel.
In general, women are attracted to the following things in a man: handsome looks, physical masculinity, personality masculinity (sometimes manifested as “charm”, “confidence”), resources/status or potential for these things if he’s young, and signs of a willingness to share those resources with her and her children. Women DO vary individually, but primarily on how much weight they place on these basic qualities. That’s not a criticism of women – it’s basic biology – how God made you.
Looks matter to women. Your choice of “Hollywood actors” as a reference point shows that you know looks matter (you don’t mean Steve Buscemi when you say “Hollywood actors”). Personality matters too. Different women would pick differently (among highly attractive Hollywood actors!) based on individual variation in women’s criteria listed above.
A similar thing could be written for men too. We have our list of what we are attracted to with individual variation in how much weight we put on each quality. Our list tends to be shorter and simpler (which doesn’t make us more virtuous).
By paying Darly doesn’t literally mean paying a certain sum.
By paying he means that committing to a non-virgin and protecting,providing and leading her and the household.
SHARING HIS HARD EARNED RESOURCES to be exact!!!!
Our human civilization has always been this way when it comes to lifelong mating and companionship…a woman trades her youth,fertiility and her gift of sexuality for her husband and he inturn would be the workhorse and take care(read protect and provide) of her and their children until his last breath.
This way both got a prize.
She gave him a prize of virginity/sexual exclusivity and he gave her a prize of staying and suporting with his resources all his life to just one woman.
For most of history our elders and ancestors took care of this system very strictly and seriously and honestly,civilization was the best until Feminism came along.
After that everything went haywire.
KAK,
I wouldn’t be so quick to write things off just because you have a degree. I am a woman (don’t even get me started on the stigma of women struggling with porn and masturbation) and I have been masturbating as long as I can remember and it has ruined my life. I can remember being six years old and doing it. I knew of another girl my age who indulged as well and as the world progresses in it’s wickedness, it’s becoming much easier for children to indulge in masturbation. There are even some secular schools who are teaching children as young as kindergarten about masturbation as part of their “sex ed program”. All it takes is for a child to stumble upon one image to awaken the beast. It is a myth that children’s minds and bodies are not developed enough to masturbate or experience sexually immoral thoughts and feelings. It has had detrimental effects on my life and to be honest with you, the most damaging part are the comments and mindsets like yours that think “young children are hardly going to be masturbating”. That is what kept me in bondage for so many years because I was afraid to ask for help. I don’t say that to be rude but that’s just the reality of it.
Yes, but “handsome” is going to differ from woman to woman, which was my point. It is absolutely impossible for a man to claim that every woman is going to find him more attractive than another man, because that’s just not true.
My definition of handsome is not someone else’s definition of handsome.
Thank you for your honesty. Just another reason why mothers need to be home full time with their children and do all they can to protect them from the wickedness of this world.
Anonymous – Most of these disorders are apparent well before the age of 6. It’s usually evident in toddlerhood, within the first 2 years of life.
I’m not saying masturbation is not bad – what I *am* saying is that autism, ADD, ADHD….. whatever else you can think of, are NOT caused by masturbation. They are caused by wiring/development issues in the brain, and usually require a genetic link and environmental trigger. By the time a child starts masturbating, these disorders are already present.
biblical marriage is a transference of property from the woman’s father to her husband.
No offense but this is a partial truth. There is variation in female preference WITHIN THE SUBSET of men that almost all women think are attractive.
Beauty is not in the eye of the beholder. No woman thinks Steve Buscemi is handsome.
Handsomeness (and beauty) can be described (scientifically) as low fluctuating asymmetry (FA). There is a science behind handsomeness, and it is consistent across different women and different cultures.
The variation in female preference you are seeing is that some women place more weight on low-FA (“pretty” – Brad Pitt) and some place more weight on masculine (what women call “rugged good-looks”). But again, all of these men are within the subset of men that are considered attractive by almost all women.
Which men are considered handsome is not random.
Not picking on women – all this is true for men’s attraction as well.
Yes, Yash.
Yes, all true. We have a heavily romanticized view of marriage (which is ok in some way) but the reality is human beings have needs and wants and relationships involve the exchange of these things. Love is cultivated by people fulfilling each other’s legitimate needs and wants. Children are dependent on their parents – this dependency is part of the natural cultivation of love between parent and child (going both ways).
We moderns often imagine this to be unprincipled love. Somehow to moderns love is supposed to be something magic that appears out of nowhere and exists independent of real world things like exchange and dependency, needs, etc. For incarnate beings, these things matter in the cultivation of love (all types of love btw).
Hey bro, i’m doing fine thanks! I heard it a lot from women which is why i’m not surprise that most lf these women end up getting divorced after that they had shacking up with their living bofriend.
You’re wrong. Every high value male who got a virgin bride had to pay the price. Jacob in the book of genesis had to pay the price if he wanted to be with rachel. David had to go fight the philistine and came back alive if he wanted to have the daughter of king Saul to wife. No father would gave their daughter for free which is why any man who wanted to be with a virgin had to pay the dowry which is why they had to do the work first in order to be able to pay the dowry and get the virgin. There is nothing wrong to compare women as objects, i think we can see that a lot of times in the bible which is not degrading at all. Like by example when it said that a virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. Young virgins in their late teens and early 20’s are like the brand new cars in the showroom protected by the security. The brand new models that only high value male can afford to get because they did the work and low value male are settling with what they can get easily which is the pre owned cars who are still pretty on the outside but have a lot of issues.
Hey B.Gordon…how are you feeling today??
Thanks for getting back.
I am writing the reply here since there is no option to reply to your above message.
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I agree the heavily romanticised view but people don’t get it that romance shouldn’t be the main attraction of a marriage.
For Christians,of course it is God and Godly values.
For secular Conservatives,it is high moral values,mutual life goals,character etc.
But marriages in the moden world is far from this to be honest which is sad.
Also we can’t neglect the main cause of romance being the basis of marriage:Romanticism from Renaissance Europe.
I remember reading once about a Roman general or a high post executive and he,in public,said that he was in love with his wife,all the men and people around him started looking at him like a fool.
I am good…how about you??
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Yes I agree.But it is a really sad situation which most people shrug off lightly.
This topic of virginity itself is so sensitive but we as men cannot forget the fact that women always have a special place in their hearts they lose their virginity to.
Then we have that issue of men not marrying because yes..why will they marry when there is no prize in marriage now.
When an upright and honourable man comes to terms with that fact that the woman who could be his potential bride has already given up the gift of marriage to someone else 80% of his interest has vanished there itself.
There was a wise reason why Mrs.Lori Alexander’s grandmother told her five daughters to save themselves for their future husbands because it is a gift they saved for their husbands.
Where do you even get such Godly and supreme wisdom these days??
And to adhere to that “mistakes happen” is stupid.She exactly knew what she was getting into.
Like you once said,your grandfather had to get a doctor’s signed certificate…the issue was real serious just 2 generations back.
It gets more serious the more we go back in time.
Our Lord Jesus returned marriage to its original state of grace, reinstating God’s design and intention lost in the fall. OT marriage practices, described for our edification, are not an accurate model for Christian marriage. You can’t have multiple wives, you can’t put your wife away, and you don’t buy and/or own your wife.
Are you sure that no women find Steve Buscemi handsome? I didn’t know who he was so I googled him, and the very first thing I came across was a blog post about the man himself. In the writers opinion, he is the sexiest man alive, and she had a wall of photos, and her listed her reasons why that is true.
To be honest, I think my husband is the better looking man, but that just proves my point – it is IMPOSSIBLE for anyone to say that there is no way anyone will find one person more attractive than another one.
Look at what women do, not what they say (write).
A woman blogger writing something doesn’t make it generally true. There are a number of women who are attracted to serial killers. Serial killers, being famous, get more offers from women than most guys ever do.
Women, in general, aren’t attracted to serial killers. A few oddball women doesn’t change what is generally true. What men women find handsome isn’t random.
Steve Buscemi is a famous movie star.
Hi Yash,
Love is wonderful but emotions can’t rule everything.
As much as a love Victorian England, a lot of our problems come from that time.
If you took all the Hollywood actors and grouped them and allowed women to pick, some would pick Ryan Reynolds, some would pick Brad Pitt, some would pick Chris Hemsworth, some would pick (young) Tom Selleck (rugged good looks) some would pick George Clooney. None or virtually none would pick Steve Buscemi or Kevin James.
Even fewer if the same group of men weren’t famous.
@B.Gordon
Can you name some problems from the Victorian era if you don’t mind???
I hope finding and marrying a virgin wife isn’t the one on your list since it is intrinsic in men.
Had to say it since this standard gets the most flak today from people when finding a lifelong mate.
B Gordon – I agree with you. But Dominic didn’t claim that “most women” would find him the more attractive man than the other one. He claimed there is “no metric for ANY WOMAN” to find the other man more attractive.
Semantics? Maybe. But the comment reeks of bitterness, and it’s not true. It’s more than looks that women like. If this uglier-than-Dominic man is kinder, sweeter, more humble, makes more money, has a cute puppy, has dimples when he grins…. There are untold things that attract a woman. It can be his rakish wink. The way his shoulders fill out his shirt. It can be what he does for a living. And once we’ve given them our virginity we tend to overlook his flaws anyway.
Any man who is arrogant enough to claim that “there is no metric” by which “any living woman” can find him the less attractive, already loses massive attractiveness points. Very few women are attracted to arrogance, and you can tell an arrogant man a mile away.
Hi Yash,
In general, the excessively romanticized view of relationships. Also, the view that women are morally superior to men or at least minimizing women’s sinfulness . In reality, both men and women have a fallen and sinful nature.
The loss of male authority.
Victorian England wasn’t the idyllic era people like to imagine it was. The Working Class worked in brutal, filthy conditions, didn’t have access to education, and used opium and alcohol to cope with their hardships.
The Under Class was even worse. Women in this class often ended up as prostitutes because they were uneducated and unskilled. Mariages were unstable. Fathers frequently abandoned children. Prostitution was legal thanks to the “Contagious Diseases Act” in the 1860s which meant women had to be forcibly checked for diseases, and ended up with women being horrible mistreated. This created a strong feminist movement among the Victorian women who wanted fair treatment. The Victorian era is where the feminist movement gained momentum – largely because of this law.
Child labour was a big thing back then, and many of them died early of serious respiratory diseases from long days spent underground in the coalmines. Women were required to work in these times too; only the very rich Upper Class women escaped a lifetime of hard work and drudgery. They weren’t at home raising their children – they were out earning a living and their young children (6 year olds) were, too. Many of them, thanks to the “bastardy clause” paid someone else – “baby farmers” to raise their children while they worked, either in the workhouse, or as a domestic servcant for the rich. These abandoned children often had horrible outcomes.
I’m sure you’ve read Dickens, or at least heard of him. He was fairly successful in addressing the social issues in Victorian society.
It was accepted in the Victorian era that although women were weaker, they were morally superior, which pushed the feminist movement even more.
It was the children who suffered the most. It is impossible to read about the lives of children back then, and think that the Victorian era was good. Perhaps it was, for the rich. But it certainly wasn’t for everyone else.
@KAK,
I reread Dominic’s comment since I forgot why we were discussing this. He seemed to be saying that HIS WIFE wanted a man she previously pair-bonded with sexually even though by any PHYSCIAL metric (based on a picture -she showed him of the man – how nice of her!) he was more attractive than her ex-loverboy she still wants to be with. His comment didn’t sound so over-the-top arrogant to me as it did to you. And, yeah, any man would be bitter if his wife was “totally in love” with a man she pair-bonded sexually with before him. Do you not have compassion for this man or did you simply miss this in his comment (it’s been few days – I had to reread)?
I don’t agree that women don’t like arrogant men. You see it all the time. Particuarly with the men women pick FIRST (the men that leave /dump them before they settle for their husband). You can even see women’s love for arrogant men in novels written by women like Jane Austen. Maybe nice Christian women like the one’s here don’t fall for arrogant men. Maybe virgin brides don’t. A lot of women do. We’ve seen this since high school.
A search for “any living woman” on this page only turns up your comment so I think you accidentally misquoted him. Reread what he wrote.
B Gordon – I did go back and re-read his comment. This is what he wrote: “there is no metric that any woman would consider him more attractive than myself.” Yes, it’s arrogant.
However, after re-reading it a couple of times, I think he might have been trying to say that women are always going to keep their “first one” in a special place in their hearts and always have a special bond with that man, and that is true. That “first one” was generally faulty, which is why the relationship didn’t last, but still…. they remember him fondly and in their memories, often overlook all his faults.
When I said women don’t find arrogance attractive, I was meaning for marriage. For a quick fling? That’s different. But very, very few arrogant men are in happy, long-term marriages.
From my own lived experience, no I don’t generally have a lot of compassion for bitter men. It’s something I need to work on. But for me personally, battling along in a difficult marriage to an angry, difficult man with serious addiction and other issues, I am so sick to death of women being blamed for everything, and now it just angers me. Something I need the Lord to help me with, for sure.
The romantic influences came primarily from the upper classes.
Poverty aside, women who engaged in pre-marital sex frequently had few alternatives to prostitution since men expected virgin wives. This was the impetus behind English clergyman Martin Madan’s treatise Thelyphthora (pre-Victorian). This thesis (coitus creates marriage, thus polygamy is valid) is ahistoric and IMO false, but Madan’s purpose was to force men who deflowered women into supporting them by making the case that these men were already married to the women.
There was very little ambiguity in his comment. His wife is in love with (not just fond memories of) a man to whom she gave what is (as her husband) rightfully his AND somehow thinks it’s ok to show him a picture. I think one “arrogant” comment comparing himself to the man who took what should have been his and is still on his wife’s mind can be overlooked. Can understand a bit of bitterness.
Women aren’t to blame for everything – this guy didn’t say that. This is about a particular man’s situation as he’s describing it. If anything society blames men more often than women – I don’t know how you can think everything is blamed on women – that’s not what I see.
Please pardon my delayed response, KAK, just worked nearly 80 hours this past week, when my commute is factored in, so, while I would have like to respond earlier, the opportunity simply wasn’t there. Was swerving dangerously on the road some nights.
Would like to address your points, point by point.
Not too familiar with Tourette’s, but I did a bit of reading, and it seems to entail numerous and varying “tics” of involuntary repetitive behavior. It appears to have been first diagnosed officially in 1885. I have certain tics, including blushing as a child in public speaking situations, but, I’d never call it Tourette’s. Humans have idiosyncrasies. That’s part of being human, and when involuntary, they can be socially painful, but, there is nothing wrong with them. All of this diagnosing psychiatry is a product of our nearly insane education establishment, which now can no longer figure out who is a man or woman. So, when you speak of a degree you received, please excuse me for not being impressed, as I have never found a college graduate who could tell me what could not be learned at the local library or internet for free, which they learned for a fortune in college. To show exactly how useless schools and colleges are today, simply examine how much 8th graders in 1912, in America, were required to learn, to graduate, and contrast that with today’s college graduates knowledge levels. The 8th graders were wiser, more virtuous and far smarter than today’s college graduates by any reasonable measure.
https://www.bullittcountyhistory.com/bchistory/schoolexam1912.html
Lori wisely counsels women not to teach men, because millions of women, and you are not an exception, don’t realize that they have been, along with us men, indoctrinated since birth, by the media, schools, and tech companies. By “empowering” women to rebel and be authoritative, and emasculating men to be passive doormats, buying into this faux “equality” nonsense, it has destroyed law and order in nearly every nation on earth.
OCD and anxiety are figments of the imagination. Buddha says if you change your thoughts, you change your world, as did Christ, and every great thinker in human history, and all OCD and anxiety are, are inabilities to control our thoughts. It’s not easy, and is a struggle, but it is doable. Whatever we plant in our mind will grow. When we have unexplained behaviors, it’s necessary to examine ourselves. The body is the servant of the mind in a faithful Christian. The mind is the servant of the body in a non-Christian.
That said, vaccines have been bogus from the beginning. The brilliant Eustace Mullins, hated by the lying media, details it well.
http://whale.to/a/mullinsbk_m.html
Remember, your schooling has taught you to evaluate everything in light of what the “experts” that your school taught you, teach. May I suggest most weren’t “experts” at all? It’s nearly all propaganda. I recommend you read the book of that name by Sigmund Freud’s nephew, Bernays. Also, read Walter Lippmann’s book “Public Opinion”. All three were Talmudic Jews, FYI.
Everyone reached an age of accountability, which varies, at which time, no matter what happened in our childhoods, we are responsible for our own behavior and destiny. Having encountered adversity at a young age, though certainly not remarkable compared to what other children have faced, I had to learn, to look at Joseph. His own brothers sold him into slavery, and that’s extraordinary abandonment, and he was lied about by Potiphar’s wife, ending up in prison, yet, became the equivalent of the Vice President of Egypt. Why? Because Joseph recognized it’s not what happens to you in life that’s important, it’s how you respond to it, and that’s within our choice.
As for drugs, undeniably, they can affect the brain, however, God is a powerful healer. You’re right about mother’s being in their homes, which role has been under severe attack by the bankers media for over a century, as they realize dysfunctional families are necessary for them to accumulate and acquire vast wealth and power.
There are plenty of humans raised without a mother and/or father, who adjusted well. No one is truly a victim, but, we do reap the consequences of our choices. 1 Cor 10:13 says we are capable of handling anything life throws at us. Now, look at Job, who endured the loss of his children, wealth, and health, yet, did not sin. So, it is our response to circumstances that determines our destiny, and not the circumstances themselves.
Certainly your husband may have had a difficult early life, but, that is no excuse for him to sin today.
Yes, there was mistreatment of the mentally disturbed in the distant past, however, the scale of having 80 million Americans on psychotropic drugs today, vastly outweighs anecdotal mistreatment of a handful in the past.
Masturbation retards the intellectual growth of a child. I recommend you read Kellogg’s book. While laughed at by the media and tech companies, he’s spot on, and his book is aligned with most authorities of his day, who weren’t being paid to spread disinformation as today’s “experts” are.
The entire purpose of the sex drive, designed by God, B Gordon, was to propel a man and a woman into marriage to procreate. Pleasure is a secondary purpose, not the primary.
The pleasure comes because God rewards us for following his design. Unfortunately it has been badly perverted to where pleasure is now the primary purpose of most people’s sex lives, with disdain and abhorrence for children.
Dear Katherine,
It’s typical for a child to be unaware of sexuality early on, and that is the result of responsible parenting.
Can pregnancy difficulties learn to learning impairment? Certainly. But, I don’t buy that your son is disabled at all. Helen Keller was in far worse shape than your son, and she was brilliant. The brain has incredible capacities for healing. Which is why faith is so powerful and doubt so dangerous, because the former requires effort and hope, and the latter requires dismay and lethargy, along with a fatalistic attitude.
There are many questions to ask about your grandmother and her “schizophrenia”, and without knowing all details I can’t judge, except to say schizophrenia and bipolar are nonsense. Training the mind is hard work, but, the mind is like a garden, whatever you plant, will grow. Plant nothing, which is typical of tens of millions of apathetic Americans, and weeds grow.
Reprobate and implacable are sin conditions that 99% of today’s churches don’t talk about. One can sear their conscience and lose any chance of salvation.
If one fears God, one need fear nothing else, certainly not faux mental illnesses cooked up by libertine quacks to soak the naive and gullible.
Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for sharing. I can relate. Anyone who is honest will see masturbation ruined so much, though God can heal. We live in a society where confessions that make one vulnerable are nearly impossible because the church wants to charge to heal people, and is lukewarm and indifferent, and a corrupt and reprobate society will use admissions of guilt to degrade and demean sinners further. It’s also very important for the genders to confess to those respected and trusted leaders of their gender. More problems are created when women go in person to confess this stuff to men, ALONE, and men go to confess their lust issues with women, ALONE. One can never be too careful. I know of a fifty year old preacher, who went to comfort an 80 year old widow on the passing of her husband, and ended up falling into adultery with her.
90% of today’s church doesn’t see a problem with masturbation, meaning over half the church leaders are engaging in it. I remember 8 years ago I spoke with a preacher at a very large church in my area, and he said his wife would no longer have sex (he was in his sixties), so porn and masturbation were what he resorted to. I was shell shocked.
Ryan Messano – If you are seriously trying to compare Tourettes with blushing while public speaking as a child, there is literally no point in us discussing anything any further, because your opinion is laughable to me. Your opinion is offensive in the extreme and attitudes like yours are the reason those of us who suffer from neurological disorders struggle so much to function in society.
My tics involve shoulder shrugs, weird grimaces, clenching my jaw and cracking my neck. When it’s bad, They’re virtually constant, and mostly uncontrollable. I can suppress them for a short while, much as one can ignore a severe itch, but the urge to tic never goes away.
A few times when I was younger there were months when I suffered echolalia – repeating a random word, over and over and over. I had no control over it.
Sometimes I have a snorting tic.
Sometimes, especially when I’m stressed, I have a full-body tic where I will experience a brief paralysis then my arm will flick outt to punch. And I have mild Tourettes! There are some people living with this condition who can’t even cook for themselves because their tics mean they drop food, touch elements, break things. Some people have tics that cause harm to themselves and others.
It is abundantly clear that you have absolutely no idea what you are talking about. That you are spouting rubbish and trying to pass it off as fact is nothing short of disgusting.
Ryan – “So, when you speak of a degree you received, please excuse me for not being impressed, as I have never found a college graduate who could tell me what could not be learned at the local library or internet for free, which they learned for a fortune in college.”
You seriously think Tourette’s is comparable to blushing or idiosyncracies. Forgive me for not being at all impressed by your Google education. It has failed you immensely. I am actually so disgusted by your Google education that you put so much stock in, and your absolute disregard for something that is so life-changing, that I can barely even put it into words.
I didn’t learn anything about Tourette’s by paying for it. I live with it, every single day.
Because your Google education has failed you so badly in regards to Tourette’s, forgive me disregarding your opinion about everything else. If you can be so foolish about one topic, I’m going to assume you are as foolish about all the others.
I’ll stick with what I learned from the professionals, thanks. Internet degrees make fools out of people.
Here is a video I found that has tics very similar to mine. Although the title says this is an “extreme case” it really isn’t. I’ve seen much worse in others. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wL2viVwGeMs
You still want to compare blushing with public speaking as a child, and idiosyncracies, with this?
Dear KAK,
Your university education has badly deluded you, you have few critical thinking skills to speak of, as evidenced by the fact that I’ve been commenting for over three years on how Google and tech are totalitarian tyrants, not to be trusted, yet, you are on here accusing me of having a Google Degree. Umm, I have over 5,000 books in my personal library, that IS NOT ON THE INTERNET.
You’d do well to listen to Lori. With your attitude, it isn’t hard to see why you have marital issues, as you have a hard time listening, and think you are an expert on topics you know little to nothing about.
Every Godly man in the Bible would have an issue being married to you. You act just like Mychal and Vashti, both rebellious women who were disowned by their husbands.
My opinion is laughable to you because you’re a brainwashed mindless drone. Anyone who boasts of a college education today is woefully clueless.
Yet, you put your trust in a worthless education establishment.
You have ZERO sympathy from me. You believe in fairytales which tell you you’re a victim when you’re not.
The truth is your biggest problem, like every human, is your sin, which you never acknowledge, but, you constantly complain about how you’re a victim of your circumstances or your husband (who you chose to marry). I’d like to hear his side of things, because I’m betting we’d hear something totally different from him. I don’t trust you at all.
People have health conditions, it’s part of life, but, they are exacerbated by attributing them to fanciful conditions thought up by quacks, that you admire.
I love how you lecture me on Google degrees, then post a YouTube video!!!
YouTube is owned by Google and is full of disinformation, not to mention that videos and television are the worst communication mediums in human history. This is why I post books and articles to support my beliefs with FACTS, and you post videos, because you do what is easy. Rivers and men both run crooked when they follow the path of least resistance.
I empathize with any health concerns you have, but not the lazy acceptance of a corrupt education and media you repeatedly demonstrate.
Ryan – I don’t give a toss about your opinion of me, and your opinion of my marriage is as uneducated and wrong as your opinion of Tourettes. I posted that specific You Tube video because it is a series of people who are living with Tourettes. It’s a good example of what it’s actually like to live with it.
But congratulations – your disgusting comments have finally chased me away from here. This is no longer a safe place where I can be encouraged to endure, being married to a difficult, drug-addicted man. Last night, I had to borrow money off my mother so I could feed my children. My husband had spent the food money on his addiction. But you carry on blaming me if that makes you feel good. Because, just like everything else you write, you have absolutely no idea and your ignorance is causing irreparable harm.
KAK,
If I had my way, drugs would be severely criminalized, and I’m sorry about your husbands drug issues, and I commend you for enduring a difficult situation. You have a feisty nature, but Mean well.
Your commenting is appreciated, but, if you rely on college, unfortunately you will often be wrong. I certainly hope you’ll stay,
Your husbands drug habit is certainly not your fault. That said, drug addiction is one reason a wife can leave her husband, though she can’t get remarried. You and your children shouldn’t have to endure the instability and danger of drug addiction. Hoping God aids you in your distress.
“The vast majorities of today’s problems with youth have their roots in masturbation. All these pseudo mental illnesses I.e. ADHD, ADD, and much more, can be traced back to the folly and attack on the intellect of masturbation.”
Clearly you have never dealt with nor experienced ADHD. As someone who has lived with it from the day they were born, I can assure you it is FAR from a pseudo-illness. And I question even your basic knowledge on the topic given you listed both ADHD and ADD, despite the fact they are one in the same. (ADD now being an outdated term – it’s now inattentive type ADHD.) I ask you, what do you think ADHD is?
“But, I don’t buy that your son is disabled at all.”
A disability is any condition of the body or mind (impairment) that makes it more difficult for the person with the condition to do certain activities (activity limitation) and interact with the world around them (participation restrictions). – CDC
You could argue that ADHD is just a difference in brain structure, nothing bad or abnormal. And generally, you’d be pretty right. However, ADHD can become a disability when it comes to functioning in modern society – impairing things such as turning in school work on-time, holding jobs, showing up on time to events, etc.
“…except to say schizophrenia and bipolar are nonsense.” Exactly how are either nonsense? I know someone who had a hallucination that got him put into a ward because he was trying to rip off his own skin that he perceived as rotting away. You can’t just “train away” schizophrenia. If we could just train away all mental disorders, then there would be no need for medication or therapy or anything.
“…certainly not faux mental illnesses cooked up by libertine quacks to soak the naive and gullible.” …What?
“Nearly all mental illnesses didn’t exist just a century ago.”
No. They did exist. They just weren’t treated or diagnosed. They were locked up in institutions or homes and left to rot, simply brushed off by family and neighbors given there was nothing they could do about it, accused of demonic possession, etc. Or killed themselves.
They existed, they just weren’t named. You could probably find historical accounts of behaviors and of people that easily match up to currently diagnosed mental illnesses today. Van Gogh died well over a century ago and suffered from short, psychotic episodes. Asylums for the mentally ill existed over a century ago as well.