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No One Ever Told Her to Marry and Bear Children

No One Ever Told Her to Marry and Bear Children

Young women are made to believe they can have everything they want but almost always, they find out the hard way that they can’t. On the Dennis Prager show last Friday, a young man called in and related a story about this issue. He was out on a business lunch and a woman in her forties sat next to him. She was a very successful business woman. Somehow the topic of marriage and motherhood came up and she sadly said, “I missed out on being a wife and mother.” The young man asked her, “Why didn’t you get married when you were young?” She answered, “No one ever told me.”

Dennis immediately replied, “NO ONE tells young women to get married! NO ONE!” (I was driving down to the airport by myself and I was raising my hand and exclaiming to the radio, “I do! I do!”) Then Dennis added, “If anyone does teach young women to marry, they are accused of patriarchy.” Young women who don’t read my blog or maybe a few others blogs, and have never read the following verse commanded by God, will never hear anyone telling them to marry and bear children. “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” (1 Timothy 5:14).

Most churches aren’t teaching this, although, I remember listening to a sermon John MacArthur gave years ago and he sure was telling the young people in his congregation to get married but I think it’s a rare pastor who will teach this these days. “Oh, that verse (1 Timothy 5:14) doesn’t mean what it says…” they will say and try to make us believe that it isn’t relevant for young women today.

No, most young women are taught to seek higher education, get a career, travel, and just have fun. God commands young women to marry, bear children, and guide the home but few are willing to speak these words aloud. I love seeing young women on Facebook using their platform to teach women about biblical womanhood. They get mocked and ridiculed by the many feminists in their midst but they don’t care. They know they are spreading God’s truth and His ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect (Romans 12:2).

I know there are some young women who are reading this post who are in their late twenties or maybe even thirties. They would love to get married but no godly man has asked them to marry. What about them? My encouragement to them is to wait upon the Lord. I would have loved for all of my children to be married by their early twenties like Ken and me, but it didn’t happen. Two of them were 24 and the other two were 27 when they got married. It was all in God’s perfect timing BUT those single women must make themselves available where godly men can find them. Go to big churches in their area. If friends or family want to set them up with someone they think would be perfect for them, GO! Even if it has failed many times before. This may be the one!

The most important thing, however, is to learn to be content while being single. Paul had to learn contentment in a prison. You need to learn to be content while single just as married women who can’t have children need to learn to be content and mothers who are busy doing the same thing day after day with little children need to learn contentment. Older women like me with no children in the home and who can get lonely, we even need to learn contentment. You will be much more attractive to a godly man if you are cheerful and content!

I will continue to teach young women to get married! It seems to be a dying institution in our culture. My parent’s generation all got married in their early twenties and immediately began having children. Many in my generation got married in their early to mid-twenties and began having babies shortly after marriage. This generation is not doing either of these! I know many children my children’s ages who are not married or if they are, they aren’t haven’t children. NO ONE is teaching them.

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14

A Legacy of Love

A Legacy of Love

In my book and in previous posts, I have shared how my parents didn’t get along when I was growing up. There was little harmony between them but a lot of contention instead. However, in the last few years of my mom’s life when my dad was taking care of my mom, she deeply grieved for the way she had treated my dad all those years. She grew to greatly appreciate him and saw what a kind, loving man he was as he tenderly cared for her. In fact, a few months before her death, my sisters and I were complaining about our dad (which I know is wrong) and she came out and scolded us!

One of the last conversations that I had with her, she was telling me that there was a strange man in the house and it frightened her. I asked her who it was and she told me it was my dad. She said after a few hours, she realized it was her beloved and was so heartbroken that she didn’t recognize this man that she loved so much. She died within ten days of this event so she was spared ever losing her mind completely which we are so thankful for.

In their family room, they have a huge blown up picture of all of the family with my two sisters, our husbands, our children (their grandchildren), their spouses (the last two are newly engaged so their spouses aren’t in the picture), and all of their great grandchildren. (It is also missing the many new little additions to the family since it was taken a few years ago!) They love this picture and looked at it often, exclaiming how blessed they were. When I was in high school, my mom mentioned divorcing my dad but thankfully, she never did or else this picture would have never been taken with the two of them in the center of it cuddled together. Many people at her funeral commented on the beautiful legacy she left.

Our legacy isn’t in the stuff we leave behind. No, it’s in the love we have invested in the lives of our family and those around us that we leave behind. My mom and dad have left a legacy of love. No, they didn’t have a good marriage during most of their 66 years of married life but they are both so thankful they stayed together and were blessed because of it.

My dad has told me several times that every day he has made a commitment to pray for the thirteen couples to will walk faithfully with the LORD and that their marriages will be strong until death do they part. He knows if they do, there’s a good chance that his great grandchildren will grow up to walk in truth and this is all that matters!

I know a lot of you are in difficult marriages. Do everything in your power to keep it together if at all possible. Live in submission to your husband. Don’t argue with him. Make a decision to love him through the good times and the bad times. Love is a choice and an action. Be a covenant keeper. Find your comfort and strength in the LORD; for God is love. Leave a legacy of love.

But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.
1 Corinthians 13:3

Accepting Mediocrity in Motherhood, Marriage, and Faith

Accepting Mediocrity in Motherhood, Marriage, and Faith

Written By Hayden Ritchie From Hippie Hayden

This post is very atypical of my usual kind. But, it is something that has been weighing very heavily in my mind for the past two months or so, that I’ve decided it’s worth sharing with the internet.

There’s a trend in society right now, especially all over social media, to accept mediocrity. Specifically, mediocrity in motherhood, marriage, and faith.

As a younger woman, I’m very troubled by the lack of Titus Two mentorship exhibited or offered by older women, but also by younger women who foolishly brush off seeking wise council or who easily fall prey to ungodly council. I see younger women who DO want to strive for righteousness but are often mocked by seasoned mothers/married women who have accepted mediocrity that “your expectations are too high” or “the higher you place yourself, the harder you will fall” or “just wait till you have kids, then you’ll understand.” There’s a myriad of ungodly excuses I’ve personally heard that are all the more distressing. Yes, there are probably cases where expectations are too high, but better striving for excellence than just okay. After all, the Bible has things to say about striving for excellence.

We’ve got an onslaught of ungodly ideologies and advice hurling itself at us via social media all day. Things like….

• You need booze/wine at the end of every day to tolerate your family/children, when the Bible specifically admonishes older women to instruct the younger to be sober minded.

• It’s perfectly fine if we haven’t done much all day; we’re a mess, the house is a wreck, and the children are running amuck, so long as they’re fed (dry cereal).

• Anything the world offers takes priority over your family.

• Women are incapable of lying, so believe all of them regardless always.

• Gossiping is fine.

• You need all these shiny things to make your life easier and happier or make your kid’s lives easier and happier.

• Being financially irresponsible is cute or funny. Max out those credit cards, girl!

There are many more bullet points I could make but those hit the big ones.

With all that garbage fed to us regularly, we are in desperate need of stable, firm-footed, godly women who are more than willing to point out sin and ungodliness, but also who will encourage those who are striving for excellence and raising a higher bar for themselves and their families. If many older women are falling prey to these wicked ideas, will those of us who are younger fleeing these things have to fend for ourselves?

I’ve watched women I once admired accept and defend ungodly ideologies, practices, and political propaganda only to justify their newfound beliefs without scripture. I’ve watched them fall prey to ungodly “teachers” who preached a false god and now publicly accept these heretics. I’ve watched them slowly morph into something I don’t want to become myself and as a result had to distance myself as necessary. After all, show me your friends’ character and I’ll show you your future.

I recognize without a doubt that people are fallen and will make mistakes. I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about women who have turned their back, seemingly so, to everything they once held dear, their first love.

I have a rubric of sorts that helps me identify if an older women is one I want counseling me or someone I want to keep close company with. I also use this to identify whether or not just about any female is sound company. *not in any specific order of importance*

1. Do her (older) children rise and call her blessed? If so, great! If not, why?

2. Does her husband also rise and called her blessed and praise her publicly? Does his heart trust in her? If so, great! If not why?

3. Do her (older) children follow the path in the way they should go and do not seek to depart from it? A sign that they’ve been well-trained and admonished in the Lord? If so, great! If not, why?

4. Does she worry and exude anxiousness? Or is she steady in the sovereignty of the Lord trusting him for the future? If so, great! If not, why?

5. Is she wise financially? Or does she frivolously spend her families hard earned money? Is she materialistic? If no, great! If yes, why?

6. Does she do her family good and not harm? If yes, great! If not, why?

7. Does she manage her home and family affairs well? Or are things in disarray and chaotic? If managed well, great! If not, why?

8. Does she fear the Lord? If yes, great! If not, run.

9. Is her husband sober-minded, dignified, self-controlled, sound in faith, in love, and in steadfastness? If so, great! If not, why?

10. Does her husband teach what accords with sound doctrine and does she affirm this? If so, great! If not, why?

11. Is she prone to slander, gossip, and drinking too much wine or other alcohol? If no, great! If yes, run.

12. Does she posses a teachable spirit herself? Does she receive instruction/correction with a contrite spirit and quickly ask for forgiveness when necessary?

13. Does she affirm Titus 2:4, 5? If so, great! If not, RUN!

“For the grace of God has appeared, bringing salvation for all people, training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age, waiting for our blessed hope, the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior Jesus Christ, who gave himself for us to redeem us from all lawlessness and to purify for himself a people for his own possession who are zealous for good works. Declare these things; exhort and rebuke with all authority. Let no one disregard you.”
‭‭Titus‬ ‭2:11-15‬ ‭

We as women, desperately need Godly fellowship and desperately need older women willing to speak boldly over the lies culture speaks, even though they are so far from popular truths.

To those of you who already do this, thank you! Thank you for being steadfast ♥️

Warnings Against the Feminization of America

Warnings Against the Feminization of America

People all over America will go to the polls in a week from tomorrow and vote. I have heard women proclaim that people had to fight and die for women to have the right to vote as if this were a God-ordained right. This isn’t true. There was never any civil war over this issue nor is it a God-ordained right. Women “fought” (meaning they left their homes, raised their voices, and shouted for their “rights”) for the right to vote since they felt they knew better than men. They didn’t trust men to lead them in the right way. They wanted to be leaders and run things.

In 1920, this poster was made by the Southern’s Women’s League For Rejection of the Susan B. Anthony Amendment against the Women’s Suffrage Movement. Remember, this poster was being spread around by women who opposed the right for women to vote and they sure did have wise insight into the catastrophe that would ensue.

 “A vote for federal suffrage is a vote for organized female nagging forever. American pep, which was the result of a masculine dominated country, will soon be a thing of the past. With the collapse of the male ascendancy in this country, we can look forward to a nation of degeneration…The effect of the social revolution on American character will be to make ‘sissies’ of American men – a process already under way. Women Suffrage denatures both men and women; it masculinizes women and feminizes men. The history of ancient civilization has proven that a weakening of the man power of nations has been but a pre-runner of decadence in civilization.”

Elaine Weiss, author of The Woman’s Hour: The Great Fight to Win The Vote, wrote, “‘But it also goes deeper than that, because these anti-suffrage women are saying the vote is going to disturb the American home. It’s going to alter gender roles in a way that is disruptive and unhealthy,’ Weiss explains. ‘It’s going to make women compete with men—the anti-suffragists argue there will be more divorces because husbands and wives will argue about which candidates to vote for—but even deeper, it unsettles the idea of what the family is.'”

This is exactly what has happened. The family is no longer clearly defined as roles have become blurred. Ask yourself, have women stopped nagging and wanting their way since they achieved the right to vote? NO! In fact, I saw a poster recently that Iceland has complete gender equality but I am sure it hasn’t made women any happier and less complaining. Women are louder and more demanding (example: the Women’s March) than ever before even though they have more rights than ever. It’s a deep pit that is never satisfied. The further women go away from God’s calling on their lives, the unhappier and more discontent they become. God is their Creator yet they outright reject His will for them.

Let’s look back at the beginning of time and see who God created to be the leaders. The first human begin He created was Adam, a man, and he was to be the leader. He named all of the animals. Then God created Eve to be Adam’s help meet to support Adam in his work, not to usurp it.

Then God chose men to be the leaders as priests, kings, prophets, patriarchs, apostles, elders, deacons, and husbands. It seems clear to me that God made men to be the leaders. Jesus could have easily chosen a female disciple but He did not.

What are my thoughts on women voting? I have been asked this frequently. I am not a fan at all. Women overwhelmingly vote Democrat. They vote for big government to take care of them which means higher taxes and more laws and regulations which means less freedoms. They vote for free health care and abortions. They vote for leftist policies which are highly destructive to the family and culture. Socialism hasn’t worked any where that it has been tried.

Do I vote? Yes, I vote to support my husband’s vote and try to overturn a vote that is against all I believe in. I encourage conservative, Christian women to vote for life-affirming principles, smaller government, and more freedoms. I know that voting or not voting is not a sin in any way and each vote is not that meaningful. I am saddened by what our country has become. The Southern Women’s League was right in trying to prevent the Women’s Suffrage Movement. Men are becoming more feminine and women are becoming more masculine. What good can possibly come from this? Men were created to lead. Women were not.

As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths.
Isaiah 3:12

A Wife’s Submission to Her Husband is NOT Oppression

A Wife’s Submission to Her Husband is NOT Oppression

Written By Gabriel Hughes

The Proverbs 31 woman I rarely see in a feminist. Okay, I’ve never seen the Proverbs 31 woman in a feminist. The feminist is far too full of herself. But a woman who fears the Lord, “Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. She looks well to the ways of her household and she does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her” (Proverbs 31:25-28).

The Proverbs 31 woman is a wife and a mother who loves her husband and children, works at home, and is submissive to her husband, “that the word of God may not be reviled” (Titus 2:5). If that sounds awful and oppressive to you, you have no joy in Christ. A wife’s submission to her husband is not oppression — it is the delight of her heart, a willful obedience to God as a picture of the way the whole church is to submit to Christ (Ephesians 5:22-24).

Likewise, it is a joy for a woman in the church to humble herself before God, heeding the roles God has designated for men and those He has designated for women. Whether a wife, mother, or single, it is a woman’s pleasure to follow in quiet submission and not rebel against what God has ordained.

Furthermore, I cannot emphasize enough how important it is that women grow in godliness and holiness. Listen to the preaching of the word, and do what it says. Your selfish frustration in reading “quietly with all submissiveness” will cause you to miss the instruction “let a woman learn!” A strong woman of God is supposed to be a woman educated in the ways of God. Feminists hate this. They don’t want women to be strong in the faith. They want them to be weak (2 Timothy 3:6). Strong women aren’t easily manipulated by their lies — the same lies of that ancient serpent who hissed at Eve, “Did God really say…?”

Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.
1 Timothy 2:11

*You can read the rest of this article “Bad Examples of Women Pastors” HERE. It is excellent!

Housework – The Bane of Most Marriages

Housework – The Bane of Most Marriages

When couples don’t understand God’s roles for them in marriage, chaos ensues. Take the article called Housework Woes: Simply Having a Husband Creates Seven Hours of Chores. “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to pick up after, to arrange appointments for, and to remind to turn on the dishwasher on the evening? ‘I do!’

“If marriage vows sounded like this, would women still get married? A recent study suggests that, whether they expected it or not, a lot of married women find themselves doing more than their fair share of housework. In fact, researchers say that husbands are actually creating additional work for their partners, whether they realize it or not!”

Long gone are the vows from a wife on her wedding day to love, honor, and obey her husband. No, it’s more about what can he do for her instead of what can she do to make his life better. Arguing about housework should never be part of a Christian marriage since we know from God’s Word that the wife was created to be her husband’s help meet and be the keeper of the home. She’s the one who looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness while her husband works hard to provide a living for his family. He is the one in the authority position so she isn’t telling him what to do. Yes, she can kindly ask for help but she should not tell him what to do. Feminism and their quest to get women out of their homes and take on the men’s jobs has created havoc in marriages.

The goal of this article: “Let’s all hope that soon modern marriages will be truly equal. Stafford conducted a follow-up study presented in 2018 that also explored trends among children – in 2002, boys did about 21.4 minutes of housework a day compared to 40.5 minutes for girls. But, by 2014, those numbers started to equalize with boys doing about 26.8 minutes compared to 30 minutes for girls. So the next generation is on the right track.”

Do you know how hard it is trying to be “truly equal” and how much strife it causes? Their definition of “equal” for feminists is “the same.” Men and women will never be “equal” in the way they want them to be. We were created differently for good reasons. Our bodies aren’t equal! Our strength isn’t equal. Yes, we’re equal in value and worth to God but we aren’t equal in the way feminists want us to be and neither are our roles. Men and women are different. The sooner we understand and accept this, the faster our marriages will improve. We are to be the ones taking care of the homes, yes, even clean up and serve our husbands. Our husbands serve us by going to work each day. Be thankful!

When each spouse knows their God-ordained role, there is peace in the home. There’s no tit-for-tat going on and keeping score. “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33). The husband does his role and the wife does hers. The greatest of all is the servant of all. Both husband and wife have important roles to fulfill. Take joy in the role that the Lord has given you, women. I have been so very thankful that it wasn’t me who had to provide for my family. I am thankful to have a husband who has done this for many, many years. I love God’s will and role for women. It’s good, and acceptable, and perfect (Romans 12:2)!

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Colossians 3:23

Marry a Christian Man Who Provides and Protects

Marry a Christian Man Who Provides and Protects

The two main qualifications I taught my daughters to look for in future husbands was that they loved the Lord and were hard workers. It’s easier for a woman to be a keeper of the home as God commands if she marries a Christian man who provides for his family. This is something young women must discuss with future potential husbands before marrying them. My husband was well aware that I wanted to be home full time to raise our children. He was prepared to work hard to make this happen.

Recently, we were out to breakfast with my dad. I was born on September 1, 1958 and that same month, my dad began his third year of medical school. I asked him how he was able to support my mom being home full time with me while in school. He said that for three months solid during the summer before I was born, he worked 80 hour weeks going door-to-door selling sets of Bible Story books. He sold one a day and for each one he sold, his medical school (which was Seventh Day Adventist – no, we’re not Seventh Day Adventist) would deduct $78 from his tuition. He didn’t have to pay any tuition for the last two years of medical school!

He also was paid $14 per night by being an on-call pathologist. He would get more money if he was called in. They lived in student housing until my dad was in residency, then they bought a little home and continued to live simply. He never wanted my mom to work. He knew that she was the best one to raise us. This is how most men were back then. They knew it was their responsibility to provide and protect their families.

Yes, there’s a problem that godly men have in trying to find women who aren’t career-oriented feminists these days. Even most young Christian women are this way since they’ve been raised to go to college and seek a career. There’s also a problem for godly women to find men to marry who don’t want career-oriented feminists. Many men want their wives to work since they are thinking more about the financial benefit instead of the benefit for their marriage, children, and home BUT there will always be a remnant, dear women, who love the Lord and His ways!

Don’t marry a man who wants you to work once you have children. Marry a man who will value your work in your home with your children. Marry a man who isn’t afraid to work hard to provide and wants to protect you. Be a woman who appreciates men like this that haven’t been deeply influenced by the feminism that permeates everything today. Yes, they are still out there. I hear from them often.

Until you find this man, work on becoming a godly woman. Learn all the beautiful ways of biblical womanhood and having a meek and quiet spirit. These qualities will draw a godly man to you. Find the strongest Bible-believing and teaching church around (one that doesn’t have women in leadership positions) and go consistently. Be kind and friendly to the young men who go to this church. Ask God to bring a godly husband into your life.

But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8

We Leech Off of Our Husbands?

We Leech Off of Our Husbands?

Many women try to convince me that feminism is all about allowing women to have a “choice” in what they want to do with their lives. If they want to be keepers at home full time, then great! If they want to be career women, then great! BUT I don’t believe them. If this were the case, then young girls, when asked what they wanted to do when they grew up, would be able to freely and easily respond, “Be wives and mothers!” but they are not!

No, this response is frowned upon. “Oh, but what if you never get married? What if your husband dies? What is your back up plan? Surely you want to do more with your life than this!” No, feminism has made women who willingly choose to stay at home feel guilty and unworthy. Making money, having a career, and being independent from a man is the be all and end all for the feminists’ agenda.

There’s a Democrat woman from Arizona, Kyrsten Sinema, who is running for senator. This is a quote from her: “These women who act like staying at home, leeching off their husbands or boyfriends, and just cashing the checks is some sort of feminism because they’re choosing to live that life. That’s b*****t. I mean, what the f*** are we really talking about here?” No, feminism has NEVER encouraged women to be home full time, be dependent upon their husbands, and raise their own children. This is disgusting to many of them, especially the radical feminists. They despise God’s plan for women.

When I read that comment to my husband, I asked him if he’s ever felt like I leeched off of him. He laughingly answered, “Of course! This is the way God designed it to be!” He has always worked hard to provide and I bore and raised our children while caring for the home while he traveled many weeks of the years. I shopped, cooked, cleaned, and decorated the home; making a house into a home. I ran the children to their sports’ and ballet practices and once a week, took them to AWANA. I made sure the children were well-nourished with good food and clean. I washed, folded, and put away laundry. I disciplined our children and taught them the ways of the Lord. I paid the bills and made sure the cars had oil changes, smog checks, and were kept in shape. No, I was no leech! I worked hard in our home. My children were always secure in the knowledge knowing where their mama was and it was mostly in the home.

This is God’s perfect prescription for us! God’s truth is external. It is NOT based on subjective feelings, personal opinions, or experiences. This is why you need to know and study God’s Word, dear woman! Many women today are basing their truth upon their feelings, personal opinions, experiences, or upon what culture is telling them and these all end in disaster.

God’s truth is the anchor for our soul (Hebrews 6:19). We are safe and secure when we live our lives by His truth and NOT by our feelings, personal opinions, experiences, or by culture as most are today. He calls women to be keepers at home and live in submission to their husbands so we don’t blaspheme the word of God. He calls husbands to provide for their families. This is the safest and most secure way for women to live.

I can hear all of the women crying, “But we can’t live on one income these days!” Do you believe God’s character? Do you believe that He owns the cattle on a thousand hills? Do you believe that what He commands He provides? Have you ever thought about stepping out in faith and obeying God then watching Him provide? Have you asked God for wisdom in making a way for you to come home? Have you sought out different options to be able to make money from home? If not, take a step of faith, trust in God’s character, and believe that His commands are for our best!

Do not be conformed to this world any longer. Any woman who is a keeper at home, looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness is NOT a leech. She’s doing exactly what God has called her to do and this is the good, and acceptable, and perfect will of God!

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:2

When NOT to Obey an Older Woman

When NOT to Obey an Older Woman

There was a woman’s journals I read years ago. She was an older, godly woman who I greatly admired. She had many children and raised them in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. Her children were all growing up to walk in Truth. BUT she was adamant about mothers co-sleeping with their children and nursing their babies on demand. In fact, they usually had four children in their bedroom, two in their bed and two on the floor. She said children wouldn’t suck their thumb or need a pacifier if you nursed them whenever they wanted and this is the way it should be! She wrote that those who didn’t co-sleep and nurse on demand were bad mothers and seemed to imply that they were in sin.

Well, I didn’t co-sleep nor nurse on demand and I knew I wasn’t a bad mother or sinning. Just because she taught this strongly and said how important these things were didn’t sway me. I don’t think mothers who choose to co-sleep or those who don’t co-sleep are being bad mothers. If they are co-sleeping against their husband’s wishes, then they are disobeying their husbands and being bad wives. I don’t think mothers who nurse on demand or those who have their babies on a schedule are bad mothers. I don’t even think those who give their babies formulas are bad mothers UNLESS it’s simply for convenience sake since nursing is much healthier for babies. Even then, I would still have a hard time calling them a bad mother. I would say they weren’t doing what is best for their child.

The problem I have with all of these issues is how cruel women can be to those who hold positions different than theirs. These aren’t salvation issues. They aren’t even biblical commands! There is NO verse that states you must co-sleep with your children. (We sure didn’t! We couldn’t sleep with our children in our bed and sleep was way more important to us than co-sleeping.) There is no verse that states you must nurse on demand or not allow your baby to cry it out or how long to nurse. No, all of these are freedoms that each mother and father get to decide on their own. Yes, I have my opinions on these issues but I sure don’t mind if others hold different opinions.

What can happen if an older woman teaches that part of “loving your children” is co-sleeping with them? Then mothers who aren’t co-sleeping feel guilty, go home, and tell their husbands that they are going to co-sleep for now on since this older woman said they must in order to love their children. This isn’t the way it works, women. Decisions such as this one must be okay’d by the husbands or they shouldn’t be done. Some women co-sleep against their husbands’ wishes and use it conveniently as a way to deprive her husband sexually. She is disobeying God on two counts now. She is disobeying her husband and depriving him sexually (1 Corinthians 7:5).

Everything you are taught to do, compare it with scripture. If it is not in the Word of God, then discuss it with your husband. Give your reasoning for choosing to do something and then let him decide the matter. This is submitting to your husband in everything as you are commanded to do! Even older women can be wrong at times. Always check scripture and talk it over with your husband. Yes, please do this even with things I teach you. A much more important part of loving your children rather than co-sleeping and nursing on demand is by loving your children’s father, obeying him, and putting him first.

Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
Ephesians 5:24

Dating is the Breeding Ground For Fornication

Dating is the Breeding Ground For Fornication

Modern dating is simply another name for sexual immorality and has damaged the institution of marriage which requires faithfulness and commitment. It leads to divorce and devastation instead. In an article I read recently, a man who is not a believer says that dating is a failure and doesn’t work to find a life partner. (I will not link to it because of the bad language in it and I do not agree with what he believes.) He says the only good part about dating is that it is great for finding short-term sexual partners. The women give him sex by the first to third date. Yes, he enjoys it for the short term but thinks about how many other guys she has had sex with then realizes that she isn’t marriage material. He would rather remain single than marry a woman who has been sexually promiscuous with many men.

A curious thought seeing that he, too, has slept with so many women outside of marriage. Dating for sex cheapens the marriage bed for both parties and defrauds their future spouses. Unfortunately, the Church isn’t doing much better than the culture in the dating and marriage arena. Many young Christian couples are living together before marriage and the divorce rate is still way too high among Christians.

Dating isn’t a great invention. Allowing two members of the opposite sex to go out and spend hours alone together without any accountability is a recipe for disaster. When kissing begins, the motors start to rev up. Kobe Bryant was asked when his daughter could start dating and he replied, “She can date when she’s married.” Dating has led to many harmful things like STDs which can cause sterility, alcoholism, selfishness, broken hearts, and on and on the list goes. None of these things prepare the young people for marriage, faithfulness, or commitment.

One woman in the chat room had this to say about dating: “Modern dating is not only a breeding ground for sexual immorality, but also heartbreak. I am beyond thankful that when I reached the age where I was ready to ‘date’ I knew that it was important to do so intentionally and with marriage in mind. My first boyfriend ended up being my husband!

“My philosophy for dating was first to guard my heart (Proverbs 4:23). My husband and I set boundaries (physical and emotional) from the very beginning. We also wanted to be poured into by older, wise believers who had walked the road we were walking. We surrounded ourselves with wise counsel. I’m blessed to have parents who walk with the Lord and were very involved in this process as well. We were (and still are) friends with couples that were older and wiser than us. In hindsight, there are boundaries that I think I would change if I could do it over again (I don’t think I would have even kissed him before marriage), but overall I think our intentions were in the right place.

“I think it is unwise to spend lots of time alone with one another in private. That just breeds temptation. It would be wiser to get to know one another in groups or with family/friends nearby. Of course, there are private conversations that may need to be had before marriage, but that could easily be done over the phone or in a public place like a restaurant or coffee shop.

“One thing I tell Christian girls who are dating and ask me about boundaries is that I would rather be overly caution with boundaries than under cautious and end up in sin. Sexual sin is a sin that the Bible tells us to FLEE from. We shouldn’t be asking, ‘How far can I go?’ or ‘How close can I get to the line without going over it.’ We should be asking, ‘How can I best glorify God in this?’ and ‘How can I strive towards holiness in this?’ There is plenty of time in marriage to explore sexual intimacy and get to know one another’s bodies, so save this for where God intended it to be.”

In regards to this man’s article that I referred to at the beginning, I have no answers for him. When there’s no moral foundation like Jesus Christ and godly principles to live one’s life by, everyone sets up their own moral standards which change over time. I feel badly for culture at large and what has happened to the marriage institution when in times past, most couples, even unbelievers, married out of high school and would remain married until death do they part. No, they might not have been “happily married” but they knew about faithfulness and commitment which marriage is truly about.

It’s a huge blessing to be married for many years (almost 39 years now). It’s a blessing to raise children together and enjoy the tremendous blessing that grandchildren bring. No, I don’t think that modern dating is healthy nor good. It provides way too much sexual temptation so while raising your children, you are going to need to talk to them a lot, teach them the truth of God’s Word and what He expects of them since His ways are perfect, and set boundaries with their protection in mind. If you have trained and disciplined them well, and they respect and love you, they will appreciate the boundaries and be protected from the modern day dating scene.

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18