Denmark’s Children are Not So Happy
Danish people are supposedly the most happy people on earth or so “they” say. Demark is a socialist country so the taxes are high and the government is large. Here is what Helen Russell who loves living there wrote in her article called What Living Danishly Taught Me About Happiness. (You must sign up to get the first magazine with the article in it for free.)
“Most Danes don’t mind paying taxes of 50 percent or more, because there’s a trust that the government will spend the money wisely and that everyone else will also contribute their fair share…(This couple had a baby) and then we both went back to work, since kids are guaranteed a place in high-quality state-run day care from six months of age in Denmark, the cost 75 percent subsidized via taxes. All this at a time when friends back home (UK) have had to give up their jobs as they can’t afford child care. Because it’s totally doable to have a family and a career, 85 percent of Danish mothers return to work, and domestic chores are shared more equally between the sexes. It’s as if Danes recognize that caregiving is just as important as breadwinning—and it doesn’t matter who’s doing what.”
“Most Danes don’t mind paying taxes of 50 percent or more, because there’s a trust that the government will spend the money wisely and that everyone else will also contribute their fair share…” Many in our country are trying to turn it into a socialist country like Denmark (which it already is in many ways) but Denmark is only one-third the size of New York State so it would be an entirely different ballgame. It’s interesting that she believes that the people in Denmark trust their government to spend their money wisely. Most governments are known for their waste hence the large amounts of debt (trillions of dollars in ours). The Danish falsely believe that some impersonal bureaucracy will make better decisions on how to spend their money than those who actually work hard to make it. Governments are created to protect its people, not provide cradle to grave care, since this lays heavy burdens upon those who are hard working and encourages others to be lazy.
The downside in Denmark is that it’s very expensive to live there, the educational system isn’t that good, depression, anxiety, and alcoholism are common, and personal debt is high. Socialism has never worked long term in any country and it never will. Anything that takes away people’s motivation to work hard (high taxes) doesn’t work for long since God created us to work. For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat (2 Thessalonians 3:10).
“…we both went back to work, since kids are guaranteed a place in high-quality state-run day care from six months of age in Denmark, the cost 75 percent subsidized via taxes.” This sounds like a horrific nightmare to me! I can’t imagine they are “high-quality” because there are still strangers raising the children from the time they are babies. These strangers don’t love the children like their own mothers do. They don’t discipline and train those children as the mothers are supposed to do. These babies don’t have a mother to bond full-time with which will end up causing a lot of mental and emotional problems in the children when they grow up.
“All this at a time when friends back home (UK) have had to give up their jobs as they can’t afford child care.” As if mothers having to stay home with their children is the worse thing that can happen because the mothers’ jobs are much more important than raising their own children! No, it’s much healthier for children if their mothers can’t afford child care and they must parent their own children. No one can replace a full-time mother in a child’s life.
“Because it’s totally doable to have a family and a career, 85 percent of Danish mothers return to work, and domestic chores are shared more equally between the sexes.” Therefore, most of the children in Denmark aren’t being raised by their mothers. This is sure to have long-term terrible consequences for this small country as I have stated. Couples sharing domestic chores is supposedly the ideal situation according to feminists but Denmark sees record number of divorces. I guess sharing chores doesn’t ensure strong marriages.
In her article, she states that there are no “terrible twos” because two-year old children throwing temper tantrums are just normal behavior! “The idea of the “terrible twos” and “threenagers” are alien to Danes, who class toddlerdom as trodsalder, or “the boundary age,” when it’s accepted that pushing the limits is normal rather than naughty.” Of course it’s normal behavior when parents aren’t around to stop them from throwing tantrums. Those women in the “high-quality state-run day care” aren’t going to take the time with each child to discipline and train them to know that temper tantrums are unacceptable behavior.
“It’s as if Danes recognize that caregiving is just as important as breadwinning—and it doesn’t matter who’s doing what.” Do you see what she is saying in this sentence? She’s actually downplaying what God has to say about the different roles He’s given men and women. Caregiving has been given to women and breadwinning has been given to men. Feminists have caused women to believe that breadwinning is more important than caregiving so this is why many women work outside of their homes, but this isn’t true. They are both important to the survival of families
Denmark is a great place for those who don’t want to keep most of their hard-earned money, love large government intrusions, and want to have strangers raise their children, but I can tell you one thing, it sure isn’t a happy place for the children. I didn’t want the government and strangers raising my children. I wanted to do this and so should you.
And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.
Deuteronomy 6:6-9
21 thoughts on “Denmark’s Children are Not So Happy”
I’m curious as to why sharing chores is such a bad thing? My husband and I have shared chores since we were married. He was raised in an all boy traveling preacher family and his Dad was very firm about the boys having to learn basic housework in order to help both their mom and their future wives out.
When we first got married I tried to do it all myself but it made my husband very unhappy that I wouldn’t allow him to help. Finally he put his foot down and said he wants to help me at home because he also lives here, he told me. He said helps make dirty dishes, dirty laundry and a messy house and he will help clean it. He also cooks dinner atleast once a week. I’m very grateful for his help now that we have two kids that we homeschooling. We are raising our sons to have a grasp on basic cooking, cleaning and laundry skills as well, as they are skills every person needs to know. I enjoy having my husbands help and input in our home because frankly, he has a way better eye for decorating and making it feel cozy than I do, lol!
How is it that they say Danish people are so happy even though there is such a high rate of depression and anxiety? Have you heard of John Taylor Gatto? He was a NY city teacher of the year twice and once NY state teacher of the year, then quit because he wanted to “stop hurting children”. He spent 10 years researching the history of education and it is astounding. Definitely opened my eyes open wide to the horrific idea of “education”. It is proven the scores we get for memorizing things have nothing to do with how smart a person is. Who remembers anything they’ve “learned” in school? School is not about the so-called academics, but the structure of it conditioning us into obedient, predictable citizens, diminishing our God-given imaginations and creativity at the same time. Keep kids out of and as far away from classrooms as possible.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with a husband who wants and even INSISTS upon helping with household chores but this has caused a lot of harm in many marriages. Women today expect their husbands to help with the housework when God calls women to be keepers at home and look well to the ways of their household. Expectations like this destroy relationships.
Most men work many hours a week outside of the home and should be able to come home and relax if this is what they want to do. God calls men to be the providers and this is a heavy burden they carry all of their lives.
Children grow up and soon wives only have her husband and herself to care for so life gets a lot easier for them, but not so for men as providers.
I agree, Josephine. Boys weren’t created to sit in a classroom chair for hours every day and there is a lot of wasted time, too. Plus, they aren’t teaching anything about the Lord or His ways but the complete opposite.
It is shameful and tragic to think about children being raised in government daycare and schools. The world specializes in normalizing all kinds of sinful things. People are so hardened and desensitized by it all. I, by the grace of God, was able to read to and rock my own babies and homeschool them all the way through. What a tremendous privilege. I have no regrets here, only blessings!! Praise Him! Thanks for sharing your heart again today, Lori.
Sorry, Lori, no offense, but when the kids grow up aren’t dads relieved of the pressure of providing for rhem?
Lori, did you teach your boys to cook amd have basic housekeeping skills?
Yes, but they still must provide for their wife, a home, mortgage, food, clothing, etc. No one else is going to step up and provide for a couple when the children are grown up.
You’re welcome, Holly. Feminism has dug women into a pit they are having a hard time climbing out of and it hurts the children the most, unfortunately.
My husband always helps with household chores too. He was a bachelor for a number of years before marrying me so those housekeeping – cleaning and cooking – habits have just carried over into our marriage. Especially cooking – he enjoys it, and is very good at it. I do most of the cleaning, he does probably 50% of the cooking. Works for us!
I have a degree in Child Psychology. It is recognized by nearly every single “professional” that babies and children do best when they are cared for full-time by their mothers for the first three years of their lives. Bowlby’s Attachment Theory delves pretty deeply into this – if a baby does not form a deep bond with their mother in the first six weeks of life (which continues throughout early childhood) they have psychological/emotional issues all throughout their lives. This is evident in adopted children, particularly.
I don’t understand how the Danish government, if they are being advised by “experts” can advocate putting babies as young as six months old into day-care full time. This is incredibly harmful for children.
Obviously having mothers at home full-time through their entire childhood is ideal, but those first three years are absolutely the most important and it is shocking that the Danish government does not recognize this.
No, I didn’t, Rachel. I was too sick most of their growing up years and the energy I did have I used for disciplining, teaching, and training them in the ways of the Lord. However, they are both great at helping their wives when they need help. They are both hard-workers and servant-hearted so they are great husbands! Their wives have told me many times.
I agree, but in order to kowtow to the feminists, they neglect to heed the studies and harm the children instead, sadly.
I live in Finland (quite close to Denmark), and I think calling Denmark socialist is a bit of a stretch. It is a democracy. Sure, a lot of the things you wrote are true (also of Finland). So I do not intend any harm here. Just saying.
Also, I agree wholeheartedly that our large government has its downsides and that taxes are high. But you do get a lot in return. For example, I gave birth to both our children in hospital, with excellent midwives (no doctor present here unless there are complications) and stayed four nights with my first, 12 hours with my second. Still, I only paid about 200 dollars for the first birth and 100 for the second one.
On another note. What do you do at the age when a child starts to long for friends and more than what playgrounds and playing at home can offer? When a child is clearly frustrated but still a bit too young for real homeschooling (two and a half)? I do let her help me out as much as possible with the chores and I have taught her numbers and colours. And of course we go outside, to a park or just for a walk, every day.
When a government takes 50% of taxes from its people and pays for many things, this is called socialism. The problem is that those who aren’t using those “free” services (which aren’t free at all since the taxes are so high) don’t get the benefit from them but still have to pay.
Can you have another baby? The best thing for children is to have siblings to play with!
To back up Maria on this and speaking as another European (from the UK) I don’t think the problem is the socio-political or economic issue, What it is, is the ingrained culture of feminism in Denmark. It is a culture of promiscuity, of contraception (and of course inevitably abortion) and of Ungodly women seeing themselves as ‘equal’ to men in all the wrong ways by rejecting there rightful role as wives and mothers in favour of ‘career’. It is the fact that women do not follow God’s plan for them and that the Church and society does not teach that they should, that is the problem, children and families suffer as always.
Some times ago I went to a wedding and we were sitting with a Hungarian couple who had a child born weeks apart from ours. I explained that I was at home since we didn’t want to put our baby in daycare that young. The wife told me that she totally agrees and she can take 3 full years of maternity leave (with pay gradually reduced ) and most women take 2 or 3 because childcare(plus all work related costs) is so expensive that it just makes financial sense. She was really happy as she could focus on breastfeeding and preparing homemade baby food and spend time with her baby. It’s a residual of the old socialist days (and yes, it was real socialism, no market economy). In other words, the government doesn’t subsidise childcare, but it subsidise mothers. It’s a different way to allocate resources, in a better way for children, for sure.
Of course these policies are really unpopular with feminism, because they “tie women to the kitchen” and some other nonsense. Just read what liberal media think of Hungary…
No, sadly I cannot have another baby. We have two, and my husband has said that is it. He wants me to start working again and is considering a vasectomy.
I think that is very sad – my prayers are with you.
It is a difficult argument also for many women. We are called to submit to our husbands, but God tells us that contraception is a sin.
My own view is that it is never acceptable for a Christian woman to actively participate in contraception, but if her husband chooses to then she should still submit in marriage to him in terms of allowing intimacy.
I am a preschool teacher and I wholeheartedly agree that full time day care is not good for kids. I had a 5 year old girl tell me the other day she wished she had a step mom(her parents are married, not separated, by the way). I asked her why and she said, “because my mommy has to work all the time, so my step mom could pick me up from school and take care of me”. How sad is that? The saddest part to me about the whole thing is that her mother is genuinely a loving and caring mom, and thinks she is doing the right thing by her daughter. She has been sold the lie that it’s totally normal to have her child in full time care while she works, or maybe financially she feels she has no choice.
I also recently had a conversation with a woman who stays home with her toddler, but is feeling the pressure to put her in preschool and get back to the workforce. All her friends are telling her that her child needs preschool so she doesn’t fall behind academically. I tried my best to convince her that is a lie. It makes me so mad the way our society views the academic side of preschool as so amazing. Really at the end of the day I don’t teach my preschool students anything their own parents couldn’t teach them, numbers, letters, colors, shapes, etc. It’s not like 4 year olds are being taught algebra here folks! I also wish I could announce to all the parents of the world that, hey, by the way, preschools are a business! Like any business they exist to make a profit and the best way for them to do that is to convince you that you NEED the service they offer. It is in their best interest to make parents feel intimidated by the prospect of teaching their own children (better leave it to the experts, right?), and it is in their best interest to use all the marketing tools and hype they can muster to make their academic program seem as rigorous as possible, even if it is pretty basic. Another thing I wish I could shout from the rooftops to parents who have no clue is that, those “early learning experts” you’re paying a pretty penny to teach your children? They might not be as expert as you think. There is NO educational requirement to be a preschool teacher, unlike K-12 education where a bachelors and a teaching certificate are required. I repeat, NONE. Not even a high school diploma. I once worked with a girl who didn’t even have her GED yet, and she was the lead teacher of a classroom. I’m not saying there aren’t preschool teachers out there with 4 year degrees, because there are, but I can tell you from experience having worked in this industry for a while, those teachers are rare. So here parents are being pressured into putting their child into preschool for the supposed academic advantages, and they are not even getting the quality product they think they are paying for.
Thank you Susanne. Sure it is sad, but I am not going to ruin my life by wallowing. I am going to respect my husband’s wishes and enjoy our two beautiful children. Going back to work pains me too. Even more actually as it means daycare for our children (albeit at a very small, very child-friendly place). But I am sure something good will come of this.