The purity culture has received a bad name in recent years. It seems there are many different views on the purity culture depending upon how one was taught. In an article that claims that men received a free pass in the purity culture, I beg to differ. It sure didn’t with my sons! I taught them as much about purity as I did my daughters. I knew it was important for all of them.

“Virginity, specifically female virginity, is sacrosanct in purity culture. Losing it or ‘giving it away’ is probably the worst thing you can do, and this pressure, especially on women, is crushing. In fundamentalist environments specifically, it’s commonly accepted that your virginity directly correlates to your standing in the eyes of God, His regard and love for you, and your chance at salvation.”

I was raised in a “fundamentalist environment,” and we raised our children in this environment too, but I knew as well as my children that their virginity had nothing to do with our standing in the eyes of God, His regard and love for us, or our chance at salvation. Our standing in the eyes of God comes from who we are in Christ, period. If we believe in Jesus Christ and love Him, we are clothed in His righteousness, made new creatures in Christ, and now walk in newness of life. Does this mean that we never fail nor sin? NO! We won’t be perfectly sinless until we die and have new eternal bodies.

Our salvation doesn’t come from what we do or don’t do. Whether or not you are or were a virgin before marriage has NOTHING to do with your salvation. God’s commands that we remain chaste before marriage (not engaging in any sexual activity) and after marriage (keeping the bed pure) are for our good. All of His commands to us are for our good and best. But, God does tell us that if we love Him, we will keep His commands. One can’t say they believe and then continue to live a godless life; for our works prove our faith.

Many were not believers before they repented and believed. They fornicated before marriage, but once they repent and believe, they are just as saved as all other believers in Jesus Christ. I don’t know where this author grew up, but what she was taught was not biblical. I was taught and we taught our children the beauty of waiting for sexual intimacy before marriage. My mom told me that I should keep myself pure so that when I meet the man I wanted to marry, I could stand in front of him and tell him that I had saved myself for him. This was all the incentive I needed!

We also taught our children that fornication was a sin against one’s own body. “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). We taught them to flee fornication! Who wants to sin and suffer the consequences in one’s own body? I sure didn’t! This exhortation applies to men and women. It’s too bad the author of this article was taught such wrong theology about virginity. Teach your children, sons and daughters, to remain virgins until marriage, because it’s God’s perfect will for them, and there are blessings in obedience.

Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.
Hebrews 13:4