Housework – The Bane of Most Marriages

Housework – The Bane of Most Marriages

When couples don’t understand God’s roles for them in marriage, chaos ensues. Take the article called Housework Woes: Simply Having a Husband Creates Seven Hours of Chores. “Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, to pick up after, to arrange appointments for, and to remind to turn on the dishwasher on the evening? ‘I do!’

“If marriage vows sounded like this, would women still get married? A recent study suggests that, whether they expected it or not, a lot of married women find themselves doing more than their fair share of housework. In fact, researchers say that husbands are actually creating additional work for their partners, whether they realize it or not!”

Long gone are the vows from a wife on her wedding day to love, honor, and obey her husband. No, it’s more about what can he do for her instead of what can she do to make his life better. Arguing about housework should never be part of a Christian marriage since we know from God’s Word that the wife was created to be her husband’s help meet and be the keeper of the home. She’s the one who looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness while her husband works hard to provide a living for his family. He is the one in the authority position so she isn’t telling him what to do. Yes, she can kindly ask for help but she should not tell him what to do. Feminism and their quest to get women out of their homes and take on the men’s jobs has created havoc in marriages.

The goal of this article: “Let’s all hope that soon modern marriages will be truly equal. Stafford conducted a follow-up study presented in 2018 that also explored trends among children – in 2002, boys did about 21.4 minutes of housework a day compared to 40.5 minutes for girls. But, by 2014, those numbers started to equalize with boys doing about 26.8 minutes compared to 30 minutes for girls. So the next generation is on the right track.”

Do you know how hard it is trying to be “truly equal” and how much strife it causes? Their definition of “equal” for feminists is “the same.” Men and women will never be “equal” in the way they want them to be. We were created differently for good reasons. Our bodies aren’t equal! Our strength isn’t equal. Yes, we’re equal in value and worth to God but we aren’t equal in the way feminists want us to be and neither are our roles. Men and women are different. The sooner we understand and accept this, the faster our marriages will improve. We are to be the ones taking care of the homes, yes, even clean up and serve our husbands. Our husbands serve us by going to work each day. Be thankful!

When each spouse knows their God-ordained role, there is peace in the home. There’s no tit-for-tat going on and keeping score. “For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33). The husband does his role and the wife does hers. The greatest of all is the servant of all. Both husband and wife have important roles to fulfill. Take joy in the role that the Lord has given you, women. I have been so very thankful that it wasn’t me who had to provide for my family. I am thankful to have a husband who has done this for many, many years. I love God’s will and role for women. It’s good, and acceptable, and perfect (Romans 12:2)!

And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.
Colossians 3:23

18 thoughts on “Housework – The Bane of Most Marriages

  1. Women need to realize that their men work just as hard as they do, to provide and have the extra duty to protect her and the family. Yes motherhood and being a housewife is a 24/7 job while the man gets off work in the evening and such. However the hours he spends outside of his “job” are still taken by the work of being there for his family also. A father must guide his sons to be men and daughters to be virtuous wives and seek virtuous husbands. He must protect his wife and provide for her and the children, as if she does not make an income it’s all on him to feed clothe and house them and give them the life they deserve. Marriage is a give and take and both partners fill the gaps in what needs to be done in separate but complimentary ways. Saying that the wife should maintain the home, raise the children clean the home and make it tidy is not saying she’s any more a slave than he is for going to work each morning. How well does it go over if it was the man asking “Do I HAVE to work??? Why can’t I just stay home and make her earn while I rest on the couch?” That to society is unacceptable, but a wife asking to shirk her duties is part of radical feminism!

  2. A lot of women I talk to, as a single man, are eager to establish that we split chores in a marriage.

    That raises red flags for me. Many single career women have been subtly deceived by the sly feminist serpents whisperings.

    They learn to abhor housework, and loving children and a husband, and instead demand to be wined and dined, vacations, world travel, spas, movies, and other forms of pampering. They claim if they can’t be treated on their terms, like a woman in Solomon’s harem, then they can’t be happy and they can’t love.

    It’s nonsense. Fifty million of these same women, in America, fell all over themselves to go buy ‘Fifty shades of grey’ a book on bondage and slavery far worse than any submission that the Bible recommends for a wife.

    So we see, Romans 6 was right, we will be a slave to God and righteousness, or to sin and it’s bondage (no pun intended).

  3. Feminism can never achieve its goals, because it is working against reality. That’s why feminism has to be eternally angry and unsatisfied! I’m so thankful for the Christian model, which actually works WITH reality instead of against it. Lovely article.

  4. When I think of all of the things that are outside of my control; things like catastrophic illness or accidents, natural disasters like floods or tornadoes, etc. I figure that the housework is the ONE THING that I can control. I can (almost) instantly make everyone in my home (including me) happier and more comfortable by keeping the house under control. I can’t stop the work stress that my husband has to deal with, I can’t control the evil of the world that might accost our children….but I can keep this home a warm, orderly and welcoming place for everyone to gather. Thanks for the post, Lori!

  5. You’re welcome, Emily, and such great insight! Yes, we have the ability to build up our homes or tear them down with our own hands. Why not do all we can to build them up in this wicked and adulterous generation? Our family needs to come home to a peaceful and orderly home.

  6. I do most of appointments, housework, help with yard work , homeschool and many other things. I’m in my forties and see lots of younger stay at home moms or working moms acting like their husbands should do for them. I try to appreciate all my husband does in providing for us and make his load easier.I have found even in the church the way we choose to live is looked down upon and since I don’t work outside the home I have little value. We don’t see it that way . We know this is the Lord’s will. He has always been faithful.

  7. This morning I managed to take a brisk walk, buy a month’s worth of groceries for only thirty dollars, make three meals that are now in my freezer, keep up with my correspondence and pay a bill online. And I’m doing all of this without a housekeeper and nanny.

    I’m about to pop off to the library and then come home to serve my family some homemade potato and cheddar cheese soup.

  8. I’ve never fully understood the equal thing and how a couple would even begin to divide things in such a way.
    I mean, if my husband is at a desk job all day, does that mean I should only do sitting down work all day? Or if he does construction, does that mean I’m not allowed to sit down all day? If everyone is sitting, who exactly does the standing up work?! Egads, too much silliness.

    Add me to the list of ladies that loves being the keeper of the home. It’s not all fun, but it’s absolutely where I want to be.

  9. I think that sometimes when problems about chores comes up it’s not always about being lazy or lack of willingness to serve but wives(especially new moms)can feel a bit overwhelmed by all that needs to be done. I know I started feeling overwhelmed by housework once I had a baby. I realized we just had too much. I began donating and getting rid of unnecessary items and decor. The less items you have the less time you spend managing those items and more time for family. It’s so easy to wipe down kitchen counters when they aren’t cluttered up with stuff. This also helped me to truly be discerning about purchases. It makes me content and thoughtful about what I’m bringing into our home. I hope this helps anyone who might be in the same spot.

  10. Great advice! Most of us simply have too much stuff. I love a decluttered and simple home. It does make it so much easier to keep clean and have a place for everything. Thank you.

  11. For those who are struggling (like me!) with staying on top of the chaos of housework and busy lives, may I suggest checking out Flylady. Google her. Her routines saved my life and my sanity!

  12. I think the “problem” of chores arises when both spouses are working. It’s one thing for wife to keep house when she is able to be home, however if she and her husband are working then it’s unfair to expect the wife to work and keep house without help. I understand that it’s ideal for women to stay home, however not everyone can do that.

  13. Just don’t be spoiled and materialistic to begin with and don’t buy a lot of stuff. My husband and live by this. The only thing we hoard is books. There are books all over our house and our daughter shares our passion.

  14. It should be a ‘red flag’ to those young women that you are unwilling to share in house work, sir. A huge red flag.

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