Marry a Christian Man Who Provides and Protects

Marry a Christian Man Who Provides and Protects

The two main qualifications I taught my daughters to look for in future husbands was that they loved the Lord and were hard workers. It’s easier for a woman to be a keeper of the home as God commands if she marries a Christian man who provides for his family. This is something young women must discuss with future potential husbands before marrying them. My husband was well aware that I wanted to be home full time to raise our children. He was prepared to work hard to make this happen.

Recently, we were out to breakfast with my dad. I was born on September 1, 1958 and that same month, my dad began his third year of medical school. I asked him how he was able to support my mom being home full time with me while in school. He said that for three months solid during the summer before I was born, he worked 80 hour weeks going door-to-door selling sets of Bible Story books. He sold one a day and for each one he sold, his medical school (which was Seventh Day Adventist – no, we’re not Seventh Day Adventist) would deduct $78 from his tuition. He didn’t have to pay any tuition for the last two years of medical school!

He also was paid $14 per night by being an on-call pathologist. He would get more money if he was called in. They lived in student housing until my dad was in residency, then they bought a little home and continued to live simply. He never wanted my mom to work. He knew that she was the best one to raise us. This is how most men were back then. They knew it was their responsibility to provide and protect their families.

Yes, there’s a problem that godly men have in trying to find women who aren’t career-oriented feminists these days. Even most young Christian women are this way since they’ve been raised to go to college and seek a career. There’s also a problem for godly women to find men to marry who don’t want career-oriented feminists. Many men want their wives to work since they are thinking more about the financial benefit instead of the benefit for their marriage, children, and home BUT there will always be a remnant, dear women, who love the Lord and His ways!

Don’t marry a man who wants you to work once you have children. Marry a man who will value your work in your home with your children. Marry a man who isn’t afraid to work hard to provide and wants to protect you. Be a woman who appreciates men like this that haven’t been deeply influenced by the feminism that permeates everything today. Yes, they are still out there. I hear from them often.

Until you find this man, work on becoming a godly woman. Learn all the beautiful ways of biblical womanhood and having a meek and quiet spirit. These qualities will draw a godly man to you. Find the strongest Bible-believing and teaching church around (one that doesn’t have women in leadership positions) and go consistently. Be kind and friendly to the young men who go to this church. Ask God to bring a godly husband into your life.

But if anyone does not provide for his own family, especially for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
1 Timothy 5:8

19 thoughts on “Marry a Christian Man Who Provides and Protects

  1. We need more more who are strong: providers and protectors, not wimpy soy boys that are effeminate! We don’t need a generation of boys raised by radical feminists and bitter man-hating single mothers! Much of the issue is they have fewer and fewer strong male role models such as their REAL father, or others who due to the PC climate, are afraid to teach their students, athletes, mentees etc… how to be strong men versus emotional, weak men who the radical feminist women like as “sensitive”… I’m grateful I was raised with a strong man in the picture as my father since daughters marry men often like their dads and learn how men should treat them. So many men are afraid to be chivalrous, honor and protect women due to radical feminists chewing them out as “sexist”! What a sorry society we are in! I hope men out there know there are still some women who want the traditional strong man of old…

  2. Great advice. My life has been so wonderful being married to a Christian man who always wanted a stay at home wife. I continually thank God for the life I have that I enjoy so much. I get to spend every day with my absolute most favorite people in the world.

    I’m so thankful the Lord lead me to a real man. We married when he was 21 and even from that early age he was man enough to know that he could/should/would provide for his family. Doing so was not scary for him.

    We are raising a son and daughter and while my daughter desires to be a wife and mother my son is being taught to that it is right he provides for his family. He is also being taught even at his young age that he may be called on to put his life on the line. His academics are being sped up so he can get those over with and start learning military discipline and how to work with his hands. It may sound intense but we are all having a LOT of fun. So much so I just thank God I can hardly believe what a wonderful life I have.

  3. Men who work hard and are good providers and protectors need to have faith. I was one, and when I was grossing over $400,000 a year, with a tiny debt, at age 33, I grew frustrated. I couldn’t find a woman who was attractive, virtuous, smart, and who wanted to stay at home and didn’t believe in birth control. In a fit of impatience, I lost my virginity with a harlot, went on to do it a lot more, and lost everything, practically. Though I stopped completely after two years, the misery and sorrow still haven’t left me, and now, I am hesitant to work hard and make a lot of money, because I’m afraid I’ll waste it again.

    In the words of Psalms 51, make me a new heart, O Lord.

  4. I agree! I met my husband when we were 17 and told him shortly after that if we got married I was going to stay home and not work outside of the home when we had children. He agreed way back then (we’re 40 now!) and he works hard to provide for me and our 6 kids. I would also say to let the man chase you down, rather than chase a man into marriage. I think the man who wants you for you will almost certainly be attracted to you for your entire marriage.

  5. Young men nowadays want to go 50/50 on everything from the first date to the wedding to child rearing expenses. They think stay at home mom and wives are “gold diggers”. No thanks! I’ll stay single or marry a man twice my age.

    1. Not all men, that’s for sure. I know many that are not like this, thankfully. You hang around the wrong people! Begin attending a church who teaches the truth of God’s Word and His will for our lives.

    1. Yes, since these keepers at home will be at home raising the next generation instead of pursuing their own goals and ambitions. No one and nothing can take the place of a full-time mother in a child’s life. This helps the child to grow up to be emotionally secure and stable.

  6. This is a lovely article, Lori, and I don’t mean to put any more pressure on the finding of godly mates, but what about religious beliefs? For example, back in the day, it was frowned on for a catholic to marry a protestant, even to the point of ex communication or having to make a promise to rear your children a certain way. In today’s climate, I think this has become moot with so many not even having a basic understanding of godly principles. Do you have any thoughts on this?

    1. Hi R, I wouldn’t have married a Catholic since our beliefs would be so different. I believe the closer you can be in religious beliefs, the better since all of our morals and values flow out of our religious beliefs. Ken and I are born again believers in Jesus Christ who believe that God’s Word has everything we need in it for life and godliness so we are of one heart and mind in this which has been a huge blessing in raising our children and the way we live our lives.

      There are two qualifiers for a believer getting married: it is better to marry than to burn and marry one who is in the Lord (another believer). Marriages are much stronger when we follow God’s admonitions to us.

  7. It’s so very important that a born again, Christ following woman marry a born again, Christ following Christian man. I think about Billy and Ruth Graham and their godly marriage and how Rev. Graham provided for and protected her and their children. We need more men like him. No they don’t need to be preachers but have a willingness to be the man God calls them to be and allow their wives to obey God’s Word to be keepers at home.

  8. Thankyou, Lori and Regina, for your wisdom. There was a potential young woman that I thought would make an excellent wife for my son. There was interest, but the only thing was they had extremely differing views on the Holy Spirit’s work. They could not reconcile this, so nothing ever happened. Personally, I was pretty disappointed, but I learned an important lesson to leave all things in God’s hands.

  9. I thought this was a great article, a friend of mine shared it on FB. I’m glad you mentioned how godly young men have a hard time finding godly young women. Myself and several other young men in my church have that problem. I want to be a husband who works hard and provides for his wife and children, I know its going to take faith to do that but I want to do that which is right in the eyes of the Lord. Im faithful that the Lord will provide a godly wife for me I just have to wait on him. I just want to reassure any young women out there with doubts that young men like us do exist.

  10. Whilst I do believe all women (other than those who follow a religious vocation) should aspire to a traditional marriage and a husband who protects and provides for them they do need to understand that it is their responsibility to behave (and teach their daughters to behave) such that they both deserve such a marriage and are able to play a full and Godly part in it.

    They need to be equipped with the domestic skills of a wife and mother but above all that they need to follow Christ and live moral, Godly modest and chaste lives before and during marriage.

  11. These character traits are excellent qualities in a future spouse. My husband had all of these character traits when we married. As we had children and I stayed home, those traits became more of an obsession with him and he put work ( being a provider) and church ahead of being a husband and father. My thought was how do I compete with God and his ability to earn a living. We have been married for 38 yrs and this behavior has had consequences. His relation with his children is not strong and he regrets his choices and deals with depression. I would add another trait. STRONG understanding that doing the Lords will is also taking care of your wife and children’s needs

    1. My dad worked too hard and was away too much, too, Susan. He has told us he was sorry for doing this. My mom felt alone a lot of her life but we still must learn contentment in any situation we find ourselves in. On her death bed, she was sorry for not treating my dad with respect and being upset that he worked so hard. We all make mistakes and no one is perfect but if they love the Lord and work hard, we are way ahead of the game.

  12. Wow, this is such a good article. As a 20 year old Christian woman. I find it difficult to see a silver lining with how much more men these days want a marriage that’s 50/50 in work inside and of out of the home if at all. I wouldn’t even know where to begin to put myself to be saught after by a Godly man. It’s difficult to not be the pursuer while making sure that I am not closing myself off to where the good young Christ following men are.

  13. My husband isn’t Christian and I wasn’t either at the time we got married but I was upfront in the beginning that I wanted to be a stay at home mom and he has supported me the best he can with that. I’m so glad he is supportive.

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