Immodesty Affects Men’s Brains

Immodesty Affects Men’s Brains

Many women today hate the idea of being modest. They think if men lust after them it’s all the men’s fault and they should be taught to control their lusts. Others argue that women are visual, also, so why shouldn’t men be taught to be modest. For one thing, the Bible is specific in commanding women to be modest. It never once tells men to be this way although nakedness and shame are written throughout the Bible.

 God knows how the sexes are different, however, since He created them. He knows that immodesty affects men way more than it does women. This is why God tells women to be shamefaced, discreet, chaste, and modest with meek and quiet spirits. He doesn’t tell men to be any of these things.

Shaunti Feldhahn wrote a great article about this titled But Women Are Visual Too – Right?. She explains the differences of what happens in a man’s mind when he sees an immodest woman and in a woman’s mind when she sees an immodest man. “When Office Guy watches Hot Girl running by, the same center in his brain is activated. There’s a biological desire to consume that image. Not a desire for the woman, exactly, but the image. There is zero thought involved; that first millisecond of stimulation is completely involuntary. And also in that first millisecond of stimulation, his brain wants to view it very sexually – for example, to fantasize about what she would look like without the spandex. In this first millisecond, all that temptation arises from the deep pleasure centers of the brain.”

This same thing doesn’t happen in the female brain. Hello! Men and women were created differently contrary to what our culture tries to tell us. God tells men not to lust and He tells women to dress modestly. When a man sees an immodestly dressed woman, he has an involuntary reaction to her and a temptation to lust. This is when he must decide to not give into this temptation and look away. Remember, temptations aren’t sin, but giving into the temptations are.

Knowing the differences between how a man’s mind works with ours should cause us to do all we can to dress modestly and be discreet giving nothing to our brothers in Christ to even have to decide to look away from the temptation to lust. Yes, there is a great divide the way a man lusts after a woman and the way a woman lusts after a man. “We as women have literally never experienced that back-of-the-brain, biological-pleasure temptation that men face every day. So we don’t understand that it even exists for them.” Cover up and dress modestly!

In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.
1 Timothy 2:9, 10

20 thoughts on “Immodesty Affects Men’s Brains

  1. This issue always blows my mind. Women dress ON PURPOSE to produce lust in men, and then are insulted when their clothing produces lust in men. Crazy stuff. Thank you for pointing out the excellent principles of this post!!

    1. You’re welcome, Diana. Yes, way too many women today want to act and dress how ever they feel like acting and dressing and believe that none of the consequences are their fault. We all reap what we sow and they are reaping the bad fruit they are sowing.

      1. What “consequences” are you talking about, Lori?

        I fully agree that women should dress modestly. Our Father commanded it, for the very reasons you outlined above. And there is nothing more beautiful than a nicely dressed woman in modest clothing. Flowing, feminine, modest clothing does way more for a woman than tight, immodest clothing does.

        But if you mean the “consequences of dressing immodestly” are rape or sexual abuse, then I totally disagree.

        It’s possible I’ve got the wrong end of the stick here and I apologise if so. But from the way I interpreted your reply to Diana, it seemed like you were excusing sexual abuse because of the way women dress.

        ALL men know that sexual abuse is wrong. ALL men know not to touch a woman without her consent, no matter what clothes she may be wearing. But a very small minority of men choose to touch her anyway, and this is totally the fault of the man, not the woman.

        1. I was referring to men treating women who dress immodestly as objects and not as women to be cherished, KAK. They can expect men lusting after them and trying to come on to them. Yes, all sexual abuse is wrong, I agree, and no man has a right to touch a woman without her permission but if women really want to be respected and cherished my men, they need to begin dressing and acting as if they were respectable and worth cherishing.

          1. This is so true Lori. For several years I wore only dresses/skirts. I still mostly do but not as much as before. But when I did all the time I had burly, rough men opening doors for me and excusing any bad language they accidentally spoke in my presence. My femininity was revered a lot more even though I am quite a bit taller than the average man and quite strong and capable.

            I still always dress modestly but not as feminine as I did before. No one treats me poorly but that reverence and deference isn’t there as much. I can only imagine the lack of consideration I would receive if I dressed immodestly.

  2. I agree that women are to dress modestly and I do dress that way. I also think that Christian men need to learn to control their thoughts if they are that strong. Not all women are modest and it is s sin for a man to lust. Also we cannot expect nonchristians to behave as Christians.

    1. You’re right, Beth, but we can’t be responsible for men’s thoughts or actions. We are only responsible for our actions and sins against others so we need to make sure we are dressing modestly and in a way that doesn’t cause men to lust. Christian women should be making this area easier on men not harder like many are doing.

  3. Hi Lori, I love your blog! I totally agree with this post. It makes sense that as Christian women we should dress modestly so as to not allow the men we encounter to stumble into temptation. I’m curious though, what does the Bible say about women’s greatest weakness/temptation? Obviously each individual will deal with a variety of temptations, but like men are “hard wired” to be tempted to lust, is there a universally understood weakness that women deal with? I would have thought the desire to control, but surely there weren’t many feminists in biblical times. Anyway I’m curious what you think about it.

    1. Women struggle with their emotional nature as men struggle with their sexual nature, Johanna. Women are much more easily led by their emotions and feelings, thus they are easier to deceive. We need to recognize this and continually be renewing our minds with truth so we can be led by truth instead of our emotions.

      1. Yes! And maybe I can add as well, that as a woman, I find it a weakness to want to attract men (sexually) in the way I dress.

        I think it goes both ways that way. But when you think of it… a man’s thoughts for a woman, and a woman’s desire to attract a man, are beautiful IN MARRIAGE, and it was intended to be that way. Just another beautiful thing that God created that Satan wants to destroy.

      2. Thanks for the response Lori, that actually makes a lot of sense because it seems the times that I have let my emotions overcome me were what caused the most strife and discontent between my husband and I.

      3. LorI, This is a longer comment concerning that which Michelle stated. Aren’t we as believers supposed to warn unbelieving sinners of their ways if we truly love God and our neighbors? Is it maybe more appropriate in this area of witnessing to a world fallen in sin like the people of Nineveh who didn’t know their right from left for women to address the issues of immodesty as something to be held accountable to God for. It is often stated that we should give place to the Holy Spirit. But by being silent to the world when it affects the church how are we allowing the Holy Spirit to work through us if we do not allow him to speak through us like Jesus said in John 16:7-11? Otherwise how is sin to become exceeding sinful as according to Rom. 7:11-14? If it is necessary for sinners to understand their sinful condition to see their need of Jesus as their Saviour why shouldn’t there be social dialogue concerning modesty so as to be light to those in darkness if we are in the Light?

  4. Thanks, Lori, for the excellent posts. I’ve been sharing them with others! I am extremely appreciative of the excellent teaching you share with us—nearly every day!!! God bless you.

  5. What would be your response to a woman who’s husband struggles with lust & therefore she feels like she doesn’t measure up.

    1. Kathy,

      You are not responsible for your husband’s sin. You are only responsible for your behavior. 1 Peter 3:1-6 is God’s perfect prescription for you. Pray daily for your husband. Look as good as you can for him but beauty from within is what will make you the most beautiful to him.

  6. I understand this is an older post but I found it interesting. I struggle daily with feeling as I just blend in with the scenery. I dress modestly and I love it but I have feelings of not being able to compete with all of the other women. I have a wonderful Christian husband and he tells me all the time I’m beautiful and sexy but it’s a huge overcoming for me.It’s so discouraging to me to hear over and over that there is nothing I can do to cause my husband to NOT look at other woman. It causes me to want to look like the women he looks at. If he’s looking at other woman like you said then how can I not want to be looked at by other men??? The struggle is real! Someone did post something that was encouraging though, she said she noticed a difference in how she was treated when she dressed feminine and modest. Men seemed to respect her and treat her like a lady. Most all Men I come in contact with always treat me nicely. I guess I will try to hold on to what I can grab….even if it’s just grasping for straws.

  7. Grandma’s two cents’ worth – when a man sees his wife always modest in public, and only revealing her “charms” for him alone, that reassures him that HE is her One and Only, and he has no need to feel doubt, insecurity or jealousy.

  8. I’m the one who feels insecure and help us just knowing this about men. I dress modestly, but it hurts me deeply whenever immodestly dressed women are in public or on media. I know he loves me but I don’t know how to deal with this. I wish there was a way to approach him with this ??

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