Should Women Have Career Aspirations?
“As much as I legitimately disagree with almost everything you post, including this, I do have a genuine question for you. What is wrong with a woman having career aspirations, getting her higher education, having debt in the process, and following their dreams/achieving their career aspirations?”
Life isn’t about “following our dreams/achieving our career aspirations” if you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ. His Lordship over our lives demands that we do what He has asked us to do and give Him the glory, not ourselves. If we are doing anything for our own glory, we are doing the wrong thing. Unfortunately, I fear that most women who pursue the dream of a career are doing so for the things they find are important while ignoring what God asks of them. The Lord God wants women to marry, bear children, and guide the home (1 Timothy 5:14). This is not only His will, but His best for Christian women. Being able to bear children and raise them for the Lord gives glory to the God and insures that another generation of godly offspring is born into the Kingdom of God. There is no higher calling upon a woman’s life, but that is not to say that God cannot or does not have other callings designed for women who never marry.
Getting an education and achieving career aspirations is far too often about giving glory to oneself. “What college are you going to, and what career path will you take?” are the common questions posed to most young Christian women, instead of asking the important question, “Have you given any consideration to what God clearly desires for Christian women?” Certainly if a woman is young and unmarried, she is free to pursue an education but as with everything in life she must count the cost. How many are in bondage to school debt and or feel trapped in careers and can’t quit when they have children? Don’t be at all fooled by the glitz and glamour and pleasures of this world. There is no free lunch, so now is the time to count the cost of a career.
“It seems that, and tell me if I’m wrong, that you’re placing a woman’s sole worth on bearing children and creating a happy marriage for her husband.” Her worth comes from the Lord and not from anything she does. He is the one who wants women to bear children and raise godly offspring. What can be more important than raising the next generation? If she can’t have children or she doesn’t get married, the Lord can still use her in powerful ways in the lives of others since we should spend our lives serving others and giving our lives away. Concerning marriage, the Word says, “She that is married cares for the things of the world, how she may please her husband (1 Corinthians 7:34). The Bible says the greatest of all is the servant of all. All Christian women should find a way to serve others and use their gifts to bring the Lord glory.
“What is wrong with a woman having a career and being able to provide for herself, even if a man or child isn’t in the picture?” Nothing if she is doing it to bring glory to the Lord and not to just have a bunch of stuff, give glory to herself, or have other selfish motives with a ton of debt. (Debt is a negative thing in the Bible for someone in debt is a slave to their lenders Proverbs 22:7.) This is how the Lord tells an unmarried woman to live; “The unmarried woman cares for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit” (1 Corinthians 7:34).
“What is wrong with a woman having those same things even if there is a man or child in the picture?” If she is married, her priority should be to her husband and being the best help meet to him she can. If she comes home every day after working full time and is too exhausted to fix him a good meal, unable to keep the home clean and tidy, and not available sexually, she should either work less or not at all. God calls women to be keepers at home, not men. He also created wives to be their husband’s help meet, not vice versa. This is God’s will for us and when roles are clearly defined, marriage works easier. If there is a child in the picture, she should be with that child full time since he/she needs and wants their mother.
“I’m legitimately curious. In this moment, I am not trying to be hateful or show any bitterness, I just don’t understand your thought process behind this and would like more clarification.” My thought process is the Word of God. Period. If anything I wrote is not biblical, please show me in the Bible and not an example but a command.
Most women who just randomly find my blog have no idea why I teach what I teach. They mistakenly believe I am just thinking this all up on my own and sending women back 100 years. No, I am just teaching them to be a woman after God’s heart and not their own.
For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts than your thoughts.
Isaiah 55:9
21 thoughts on “Should Women Have Career Aspirations?”
I’m making sure my daughters do not incur a bunch of school loans, because I’m raising them to understand the importance of being home, and also not being shackled to a life of running around. I’m also teaching them they should not marry someone unless that person is ready to be the sole provider from day one, which also involves not allowing them to date for sport, but date to find a husband. We are leaning towards courtship at this point.
It really is stated so plainly how God wants us to bring Him glory as Christian women, single or married. The challenge is faith and obedience.
These passages of scripture aimed at women are not often taught. Even for women reading the Bible on their own, desperate to know God’s will, they pass over it because they are used to the world telling them differently. God’s commands do not change with the times.
It is interesting that more women who disagree do not simply move on as though the teaching were a fluke. It seems that truth, however rare to hear, strikes a nerve. Such an uproar over a teaching that is aimed at building up the heart of the family must mean there is a battle between godly desires and worldly desires.
I knew I wanted to do everything I could to build a successful marriage and I desired to hold a baby in my arms. I was “encouraged” (pushed) by all else to desire and strive for a career so that I would “have something for myself” and have something to fall back on “just in case.” God does not have a just in case backup plan for us should He fail us because He says He will never forsake us. I chose not to pursue a career and continue to receive disapproval of all kinds for my family prioritized and husband supported decision. My husband noticed and mentioned to me that God’s ways and choices made for Him will be attacked.
My choices were made in faith even before I understood that my heart’s desire was in accordance with God’s desires. How much easier it would have been had I known the Bible better! He has blessed and provided for us even when we didn’t ask. Almost immediately after our decision was made, He provided a way for me to earn an income from home. Something I can scale up or down as needed and always have my priorities where they need to be.
I understand this is not as easy for some as it was for me. And yet, how will you know if you don’t also step out in faith? You trust Jesus to save you from your sins and a sentence to hell, but you fear wordly troubles should you choose to obey His good and perfect will.
I pray that those whose situations seem grim or whose husbands do not agree will be brought into even greater faith that with God all things are possible.
Lori, you’ve often said that a widow with children/ divorced mother should be provided for by the church or family in order to stay at home. I’m curious how that is working in real life. I’ve never seen a church that has a ministry that completely supports single mothers for years
I have only said this because the Apostle Paul teaches this in the Bible. John MacArthur’s church does this since children who have lost their fathers shouldn’t lose their mothers to a full time job. I hope there are many more churches who do this, however, Paul does say if there are relatives of a widow, they should be the ones to support her but younger widows he encourages them to get married so their husbands can support them. Read 1 Timothy 5.
What should a woman do who does not have family, has no one to marry and whose church cannot support her?
Ask the Lord for wisdom in how to make some money from home. We walk by faith and not by sight. God owns everything and what He commands He provides. He can surely help a mother stay home with her children if she so desires.
You are doing a good job, Laura. We taught our children to not date until they were older and only date someone they thought they might be able to marry. They are all, thankfully, happily married today!
Beautifully written. Thank you! Yes, just look at the comments on my Facebook page. Whenever I teach what the Bible says about this, there is a huge uproar from women. They have been listening to the lies of feminism and Satan too long.
All I ever wanted to be was a wife and mother. My mom was and it was my heart’s desire. When I married Ken, his plans were to be a Pastor but we both knew I would be the one to raise our babies no matter how much or how little he made.
Please keep writing Truth. His word will never return void.Bless you Lori,I will be praying for you.We are in a battle,and we as older ladies best be strengthening the younger women to obey the word,and our husbands.So many older women who profess to be Christians, are lined right up with the world, working and filling self’s tank up.This is alarming and sad.
I believe a huge reason the Church is so ineffective today is the lack of teaching on women’s roles. Most older women aren’t doing it and most pastors are afraid to do it. They would lose a large portion of those who attend their church. Besides, it really is the older women’s responsibility to teach the younger women. Thank you, Dawn.
It is not that a Christian woman cannot have a career, or at times need to work. The issue as I see it is the vast shift of Christian families following the world’s ways instead of first looking into the scriptures to see God’s best for their lives. When greater than 50% of Christian women with small children at home are working full time, the majority of the church is not paying attention to God’s prescription for marriage and family. Make up whatever excuses and reasons for dropping the kids off at Daycare, and some will be legit, but maybe that is a 10-15% number, not a 60% number for Christian families trying to follow the Lordship of Jesus in their lives. The Church looks too much like the world and then we wonder why our kids then no longer follow after Jesus when they hit their college years. Why should they when what they see in their parents no obedience to the Lord and no joy in raising the next generation of godly offspring?
I agree! Way too many Christians are following the world’s lies instead of living by the perfect Word of God. Their faith is weak and they don’t believe that what God commands He provides.
And this is why it is so very difficult to find a church. Young ladies “look up” to some of these working, older women. They cannot understand why so and so can work and be a wife and mother and be a” Christian. ”
Mrs.O
Wonderful post rooted in truth as always! I wish I would have known (not been hardened to) this biblical truth before acquiring mountains of student loan debt pursuing my own aspirations….luckily my eyes were opened before our first child was born. There is such peace in following the Lord (still learning daily!) and such appreciation for a husband that happily shoulders the financial burden I created, so I can fulfill my role as a help meet.
I’m enjoying your “teachings” 🙂
This is an interesting point, Lori – the issue that the Bible commands the church to support widows, but virtually no churches do. This is a huge problem. I believe that there are several issues: (1) the church has outsourced a lot of its God-given functions, such as the care of widows, to the government (BAD), (2) the family has outsourced its God-given function to disciple children to the church (also BAD). Thus, most churches are pouring huge, huge, huge amounts of money into ministries that are not biblically mandated, such as children’s ministry, and thus have no more money available for biblically mandated ministries, such as widow support. I don’t think most churches even consider the biblical mandate to support widows – it’s just assumed to be the government’s job. Ditto with care for the poor.
There are some great books out there that deal with this subject – the problems that are caused when any of the three God-given institutions (family, church, state) outsource their responsibilities to another institution, or grab authority from another institution. Fascinating material. But yes, you are correct in that the church has the responsibility to care for widows. (And to preach the truth about women needing to be at home for their children and homes.)
Keep preaching the truth – it is an encouragement to those who know it, and some who don’t know these truths do end up hearing!!
Thank you, Austin, and I remember when I first heard about the Truth of the roles in marriage, it was like a breath of fresh air and brought healing to our marriage. God is good and He always will be. Blessings!
ALM,
What is it that you do to make money from home? I am trying so hard to figure out a way to make money from home, but so far I have not found any good contenders. Blogging requires a huge investment of time before you might, maybe, make a profit on advertising, direct sales (like Mary Kay) would not work for me as I am an introvert and NOT a good sales person with a large network of friends to sell to. I considered dog sitting through Doggie Vacay but my husband didn’t like the idea of strange dogs potentially being destructive or barking in our house. I would love to learn how you do it!
I appreciate the principles the Lord lays on your heart and mind. This is a good One. The church makes many a mistake and a big one is Christian colleges marketing these aspirations to women (and getting all used to the thought). And simply having women educated along side men feeds into the ‘equality’ thought. Knowledge is power and God does not want women upstaging men whether they actually ‘can’ or think they can. We need to stop thinking in carnal ways and, as your Isaiah 55:9 verse says, realize God’s ways are higher.
Hi! Sorry I didn’t see your question earlier.
I sell online through Etsy. I go to yard sales, thrift stores, and even antique stores to find vintage treasures to turn a profit on. It’s something that I really enjoy so I’ve learned a lot quickly and make great profits that make my husband very happy and he’s happy to have me home too!
It takes a bit of time to learn shipping and finding and selling items can come in waves, but I’ve been able to make anywhere from $200 to $1000 in a month, selling thrift store finds!
eBay is also a good option and you don’t have to sell vintage, you can sell anything. What I like about Etsy is that there fees are very low. Only .20 cents per item listing and 3.5% on each sale.
To get you started I’d suggest spending some time browsing vintage items on Etsy to get an idea of things you would like to sell and look for. Read articles on how to be a good eBay or Etsy seller. Take a trip to your local thrift store just to browse and pretend that you’re a treasure hunter looking for that valuable find.
I hope this idea can be helpful to you. People like shopping, you can be there online storefront!
What a wonderful, refreshing post. I have been a stay home wife and mother for thirty some years in an area where its very despised. I have been blessed to have a lot of support from my pastor and his wife who homeschooled seven kids. At present, I am homeschooling my seventeen year old daughter. I want to respond to Mrs M about her inquiry about finding work from home. My personal experience has been frustrating because I have always felt the pressure, coming from without and within, to find a way to “help”, I know everyone has their own circumstances, but personally, I have not been able to find anything that ever fit. Either I would have to take bread off the table, or spend a lot of time needed to do something else I need to do for my family or church. A home business is a business regardless. I have struggled to be honest, just to accept, if it were God’s will for me, he’d lead, but its just not. Sometimes we need to spend the time in prayer, study, teaching a Sunday school class, going soul winning. I have on the other hand, learned to be very frugal and a savey shopper. A penny saved is a penny earned. God has been gracious and enabled my husband to make enough. And we live in a modest home, in a neighborhood not many people would desire, but we have been safe in the center of God’s will. Thanks again for the post.
This was very helpful to me. My ? is, can a woman really be happy and content persuing a career rather than motherhood??