No One Wants to Take Care of the Home

No One Wants to Take Care of the Home

Women entering the workforce has caused war between the sexes. Women want to take over men’s roles (careers) but most men don’t want to take over women’s roles (keepers at home). Take this example of what has been spread around Facebook:

A man named Brian wrote: “No man working 40 hours a week wanna come home to a hot pocket and fruit punch!” A woman named Jessica responded to him: “No woman working 40+ hours a week wanna come home to sweep, mop, dust, vacuum, wash and fold laundry, scrub tubs, toilets, cook a %$#% post roast with sides, and have to clean the fr%#%#g kitchen…But here we are.”

Brian is right, most men who work 40 hour weeks don’t want to come home to a microwaved meal and fruit punch night after night. But the reaction he received from women is expected – outrage! Jessica shared the feminists’ reaction loudly and clearly. Since she works 40+ hours a week, she doesn’t want to come home and do housework. If she was a full-time keeper at home as God has commanded women to be, she would have plenty of time during the day to sweep, mop, dust, vacuum, wash and fold laundry, scrub tubs, toilets, cook a pot roast with sides, and have time to clean the kitchen.

God’s roles for men and women create peace and order when they are followed. Women are called to be their husband’s help meet, be keepers at home, and look well to the ways of their household. They are called to work hard in the home and not eat the bread of idleness. With all of the modern conveniences that we are blessed with, it makes it a whole lot easier than it was for previous generations. This is God’s ministry for women. Men are to be the providers for their families. When each knows their role, there is no confusion, anger, or strife.

Another thing about this comment from Jessica, I am shocked how women talk to men these days. Even on my Facebook page, they have no problems scolding, correcting, and trying to humiliate the men. Their language is often foul and they are far from what God calls them to be – women with meek and quiet spirits. This is a feminist spirit, women. We should talk to NO one in this way, especially men that we don’t even know. We are to be known for our kindness not for putting men in their place and giving them a piece of our mind. Let us not do anything to perpetuate the war between the sexes. “Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles” (Proverbs 21:23).

God’s ways are good, women, as I say over and over again. Our way is not good. We must measure all that we do and say by the perfect Word of God. We aren’t at war with our husbands or men in general. Remember, our battle is in the spiritual realm and we do battle on our knees in prayer. We live godly lives so others can see Christ in us. We speak words full of grace and seasoned with salt. Yes, we will fail but we get right back up again and keep marching forward. Christ has won the war and has overcome. Live life the way He calls you to live it.

If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.
Romans 12:18

24 thoughts on “No One Wants to Take Care of the Home

  1. Sad! Because the home is where all your most cherished memories and experiences will be made! Who will be at your death bed? You coworkers, or your family? Your children and grandchildren around you in your golden years… Tending a family is a 24/7 job, but the “benefits” far outweigh any job perks!

    1. “Who will be at your death bed? You coworkers, or your family?” For many people nowadays, NOBODY will be at their funeral.

  2. Great post today! You’re sure right about feminists using profane language. I guess they think they’re being “masculine” when they do this.

    Also, men usually aren’t murmuring about the “choice” to do something other than provide for their families; they just take action and do what needs to be done! They were not created by God to be keepers at home, and since so many women aren’t doing it, family life suffers–and the children are hurt most of all {it’s dangerous when a husband is neglected as well}.

    I suspect many men would like to come home to a clean house with a home cooked meal ready when they get in from work. Sadly, feminism has convinced many of them to keep quiet about this.

  3. I didn’t marry until I was in my 30s. I worked for a number of years. One of the problems I dealt with was competition. From other women, from men, from everyone. That’s what you do in the workplace; you compete or you lose your place. It’s all about winning. Women’s souls get calloused from this environment. The same way my dad’s hands got calloused because he worked every day in construction; my soul started to get that way when I was out working every day in a competitive environment. Women bring this “I win, you lose” mentality into their homes when they get home from work. It’s not a good way to create a lasting, loving marriage and home life. I was blessed to meet my husband who was kind enough to see through this and I changed after we married. I was just (barely!) wise enough to see the wrong path I was going down. It’s crazy that women think they are “losing” if they keep the home and prepare a meal!

  4. Navigator: “I can pilot very well, watch this!”
    Pilot: “Yes, that’s nice. But as a team we need you to focus on naviga-”
    Navigator: “But I’m so gooood at piloting! I’d be even better with practice!”
    Pilot: …

  5. There was a day this past summer when I had agreed to take the children to the park if we could get all our work done inthe house first. While we were gone my husband had to stop home to get something and brought his co-worker along. My husband said they entered into a tidy, cheery house with the smell of supper coming from the crockpot, and the table set and ready. The co-worker was blown away and told my husband he was very lucky. We laughed about it that night since this is no special or uncommon experience in our home. It was enlightening, based on his shocked reaction, as to just how unusual normal homemaking has become today.

    1. I love this story, but I can picture it perfectly. I had the same reaction going home with a friend in Jr high. After school. We walked in to the smell of something delicious smelling. Her mom hugged us both and sat us down for some toasted cheese snacks and iced tea. She chatted with us a bit. The house was so clean and cozy. I felt like I crawled into a warm nest. It was wonderful.

  6. Hi Lori,

    If your husband wants you to keep working, but you would like to be a stay at home mom, what is the better way to “win him without a word?”

    a) work a full time job and then come home and relax (aka do not partake in housework, serve a quick meal, etc)
    b) work a full time job and also cook and clean?

    It seems to me that so many husbands just assume it is “easy” for their wife to both work a full time job AND keep up with housework. Would you advise letting some things go to “Send a message” that working two full-time jobs is exhausting, or do you think that is petty? When I was a teacher (and not yet a mother) it was actually easy to get housework done as I got home two hours before my husband, but many working women now work to 6pm just like their husbands.

    1. It’s a tough one, Kate. I feel badly for women in this situation. I did it for two years with my first baby and I was absolutely exhausted. My husband was traveling a lot and super busy so he couldn’t help much. Life is SO much more peaceful when the mother is at home.

  7. I see it both ways. While women have elected *sometimes* to be in the workplace full time, there’s no call for women to shoulder all of the cooking & housework when she is working the same amount of hours you are as a man. Also there are many times a woman is forced into the workplace full time by her husband, and then to be expected to shoulder all the cooking and cleaning when she works as hard out of the home as he? A bad joke. I was once a woman asked /expected to work full time in my career outside of the home by my husband and also shouldered all the cooking and cleaning, many years ago- for several years. Many nights I was exhausted and paid for dinners out for us & our kids- sacrificing healthy, home cooked meals for my family to the idol of $ and career. I prayed and prayed to be able to stay at
    home for my kids. And God hears- and provided. My husband now supports me staying at home managing the home and homeschooling our kids. But that is not the way of the world at large… and it takes those coming out of the world and into a biblical lifestyle some time to process… that a woman at home IS as valuable to a man and the kids as a career woman is…!… if not more valuable, in many, many ways. Yes the trips to Disneyland with a two income family will be delayed, and restaurant eating won’t happen nightly, but the family will get a parent at home all day and night, and healthy, home cooked meals day and night. So yes, I can see it… both ways.

  8. Boys and girls need to be taught cooking and cleaning. Husbands need to be able to clean and cook. There will be some times that mommy is unwell, or even not at home (and not for frivolous reasons), and dad needs to be able to help.

    1. I agree! There are always good skills to have. My father taught me how to mow the law and change a tire, for example. Of course, my husband does these tasks, but just in case, I can do it to.

    2. Of course! I don’t know of any families in which the girls are taught housework, but the boys are not. But competency is not the issue, here; Lori is arguing that the best and most Biblical division of labor is for the man to do the breadwinning and the woman to keep the house.

  9. Fantastic post.

    Sadly, even Christian women act this way …. even with foul language. While they may not use actual swear words, I have heard some distasteful adjectives used in many conversations (even mine own before I had a heart change man years ago). Many Christian women do not see the vision for the home and family life. They have been fed an awful lie and have swallowed it all. Where did we go wrong?

  10. This is a great post! I’m very encouraged. I work full time but am expecting our first child In March. My husband and I believe that God is calling me to stay at home after our baby is born. In many ways financially we are not sure how it’s going to work out, but we are trusting that God will provide, knowing that it is his will for us and our family. I look forward to being able to take care of our home in a more excellent way.

  11. This man was speaking about in the 70’s. It seems like every religion has been affected over the years and none resemble what they used to be. There is nothing bad in it. Nothing about magical underwear or the Garden of Eden being in Missouri, just the same principles you talk about here. I don’t think we will ever go back to this type of life. What was so wrong with it?

  12. Over the course of our marriage I have worked full-time, part-time, and as a full-time homemaker when our children were young and again when they were in their teens. I worked not because I truly wanted a career but because my husband thought I was not pulling my weight if I did not work as well as care for our home. This was exhausting and I constantly juggled my job, the kids’ education, coming up with the money to pay for work clothing, daycare, and after school care, and spent even more money on restaurant meals because I was too tired to cook when I finally got home.

    I did laundry at 6 a.m. before I left for work and spent my evenings and weekends catching up on laundry and housework instead of spending quality time with my family. This also affected quality time with my husband because both of us were tired at the end of the day. My home and family suffered no matter how hard I worked. My boss was not thrilled when I had to miss work because my toddler had an ear infection or my school aged son had the flu. I was definitely on the “mommy track” even though I was a hard worker. I was so happy when I had the chance to become a full-time homemaker. Our family life is better and calmer and we have more time to enjoy each other in our cleaner, cozier home.

  13. I worked up until I had my twin sons. We crunched the numbers and realized that after they were born the childcare would leave me with very little money to show for my efforts. So we used my pay to put extra towards student loans which weren’t much to begin with and then we put my entire check into savings/CDs. This eliminated our debt and got us used to living on just his salary. Knowing we had a ‘disaster’ fund took a lot of pressure off of us. That is the step I think a lot of couples miss or skip is PLANNING to be home.

    Anyway I was able to stay home until my husband died unexpectedly while the boys were in high school. All the of us worked so I didn’t have to worry about anything more than providing healthcare coverage. Now my boys are grown, the house is sold, and I feel better about working outside the home. It’s just me so there is not much to do besides laundry and a few dishes.

  14. I am a housewife and I just discovered your blog.

    I am blessed to have a husband who can support me and our girls.
    Hi Lori!

    I recently discovered your blog and I agree with your perspective on many issues.

    I am an Orthodox Christian so you may not deem me to be “really saved,” though.

    I just want to share your assessment that nobody wants to take care of the home. It has created an industry of day care, food delivery, maid services, pet walkers and a plethora of other things that we have to pay for because both parents need to work.

    When someone asks how I do it I tell them we don’t have nearly the expenses that double income families do.

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