“The Boy Crisis” Book’s Horrible Solution

“The Boy Crisis” Book’s Horrible Solution

God is a God of beauty and order. The roles He has ordained are for beauty and order. As the Church submits to Christ, wives are to submit to their husbands. This brings beauty and order to marriage. Husbands as providers and wives as keepers at home bring beauty and order. Nothing but chaos results when we leave God’s created order.

In the book “The Boy Crisis,” the authors clearly spell out the problems boys and men are having today. “The boy crisis cannot be solved, then, without addressing the most important single crisis in developed countries: dad-deprived children and especially dad-deprived boys. The boy crisis’ primary cause is dad-deprived boys. Depriving a child of his or her dad is depriving a child of part of her or his life. Dads – like moms, air, and water – are essential to our lives. Dad-enriched boys tend to fill the purpose void with constructive new senses of purpose; dad-deprived boys are more likely to either drown in their purpose void, or fill it with destructive senses of purpose.”

I have only read about a fourth of this book but a few of their solutions are unbiblical and are what have led to this boy crisis of fatherless boys. “Help our daughters and sons free themselves from the rigid roles of the past toward more flexible roles for their future” and “The good news is gender roles within your son’s lifetime have the potential for a greater liberation of rigid roles for our son as well as your daughter.”

No, Dr. Farrell and Dr. Gray, we can’t leave the “rigid roles of the past” and expect good results. God has created mothers with their sensitive and emotional nature to be the ones home full time with their children and He has created fathers with testosterone pumping through their bodies to be the ones to protect and provide for their families. These roles create beauty and order in families. Leaving these roles will continue to create chaos.

Yes, I do agree that boys desperately need fathers. I believe mothers need to stay married to their son’s fathers until death do they part. I believe fathers need to make time to be with their sons and model godly manhood to them. They need to teach their sons to work hard and be faithful but they don’t need their fathers to take their mother’s role in their lives and they don’t need their mothers to take their father’s role of providing. This isn’t how God created it to be.

God is perfect and His will is perfect for us. If we expect to get good results in raising children, we must follow His instruction manual. He created us and knows exactly what He created us for. Let’s not mess with His created order.

Thus saith the LORD, Stand ye in the ways, and see, and ask for the old paths, where is the good way, and walk therein, and ye shall find rest for your souls. But they said, We will not walk therein.
Jeremiah 6:16

*I do recommend this book even though the authors write highly of the Women’s Rights movement. They do tackle many of the problems boys and men are having today and give some great solutions so it’s worth reading, however, I wanted to make a huge disclaimer of why I can’t wholeheartedly endorse it.

5 thoughts on ““The Boy Crisis” Book’s Horrible Solution

  1. Lori, I think one way to look at this could be that there are many different ways to provide for a family. Men don’t have to fall into an Uber-masculine, testosterone-filled, “manly man,” role. Some boys just aren’t that type of person. They can work in industries that require sensitivity, care, nurturing, and emotion and be good providers and fathers. My thought would be nursing, teaching, botany, counseling, corrections officer, etc. The same way some mothers love to get their hands dirty with outdoor/menachical work at home and others couldn’t imagine having a hair out of place!

  2. I partially agree with you, Kate, but all men are “testosterone-filled.” They have ten times the testosterone as women do so this can’t be changed. I see no problem with them being in the professions that you named at all but they will still be men and not women.

    I see no problem with women getting their hands dirty around their homes either. I know I sure have! But God gave us clear roles to follow and if we are lovers and believers in Him, we ought to follow them even if they don’t seem to fit our natural personality or desires.

  3. Oops! I meant testosterone DRIVEN. As in roles that are aggressive, athletic, competitive. I agree our desires don’t always fit with God’s plan, but I do believe our God-given gifts and personality help us uniquely in the roles we must fulfill!

  4. On Facebook this New York Time’s Article ‘How to Raise a Feminist Son’ was being shared by several friends (both rich lawyers with stay at home wives…do as I say not as I do!!)

    So ridiculous! Easiest way to make sure your son never gets married!

    I want my male children to Be Aggressive in a non-threatening, kind yet still Very Dominant Way.

    I want them to be the person in the audience of a play who Turns Their Back to the Stage if it Insults Christians and Take Their Family and Walk Out. End of.

    I want my male children to be the person at the dinner party who says ‘I support this… I don’t support that…’ followed by logical arguments and a ‘Don’t Mess with Me’ Air of Dignity.

    Two quick examples…

    My husbands mother said something liberal and looked to him at the dinner table to back her up…and he didn’t he simply said ‘No that’s not right.’ Wow! So simple, yet such powerful words. That was SOOO Masculine and you could see his mom was ‘tamed’ and she didn’t cause any more problems on that front for the rest of the visit.

    Then the other day we were at the theatre and the stage person picked me out of the crowd (ha ha) and I defended American Conservatives…and my husband said ‘I support her’ …it was awesome but in a better society it would have been my husband who would have defended American Conservatives and I would have said ‘I support him’

    My parents raised me to be Very Aggressive and my husband’s parents raised him to be Very Kind and Diplomatic to the Point of Never Thinking about Anything Too Hard Lest You Offend Someone.

    I think that’s very wrong.

    Men should be raised to not fear offending people and not have a fear of standing up and saying ‘No’ to people.

  5. My husband’s father taught all of his sons that it was very important to sleep around and have multiple sex partners.

    The logic behind this was to teach his sons not to get ‘manipulated’ by a woman via sex.

    Yet at the same time, all the parents worked very very hard to ‘Feminize’ their sons by teaching them to ‘Get Along With Everyone and Not Judge’

    Needless to say, sexual promiscuity plus making your sons morally ‘soft’ is a great way to guarantee none of them have grandchildren and spend their hard-earned resources on low quality women!

    There’s several ways to raise a son….

    1) Uber Aggressive with Heavy Sexualization—Basically a hyper-masculine monster…like a gang member…But despite the immorality and lack of intelligence….these types tend to have a lot of baby mommas and children (evolutionary winners, so it works)

    2) High Sexuality with a ‘Feminist’ Mindset—Will end up in a one-child marriage with reverse roles…slutty/masculine wife with feminine husband ….or no children whatsoever and a string of monogamous unsuccessful relationships with low quality women as the boys wonder where it went wrong…

    3) Masculine Mindset, Seeing the World for What it is and Not Being Afraid of Confronting Reality, Judging People and making decisions upon that Judgement…combined with a highly targeted sexuality with the goal of a long-lasting marriage to a woman who adores you and wants to spend her life giving you children

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