Why Some Men “Follow” Me
“The Transformed Wife gets a lot of hate from not just the secular, godless feminists, but even from Christian women as well. They say she takes things too far, and that she is not preaching the gospel. Here’s the issue though. A lot of women within the church still have this defiant feminist attitude within them. What’s interesting is when they attack someone like Lori, they’re attacking one of the few voices that talks directly, and unapologetically about how women can be Christlike in their lifestyles and conduct with an actual level of specificity. Yes, we must share the Gospel of Christ. What about being specific in conduct? Ever since I first followed Lori back in mid 2017, I have started to do a 180 in the type of woman I desire.”
A woman shared one of my Instagram posts on her Instagram on Men’s Day. Those who despise what I teach came out to slander me and warn others about my “dangerous” teachings. However, there were some who defended me and I especially liked what this man had to say in the quote above and am thankful for what he wrote. But what about men reading my writings? Is this wrong?
I am consistently accused of teaching men since men read what I write. Anyone who is truly honest with themselves know I am not teaching men. I am very specifically teaching biblical womanhood to women. I don’t teach men to be submissive and godly wives, keepers at home, dress modestly, and be good mothers. All of the material I teach is aimed at women and they know this.
There are all kinds of reasons that men follow what I write. As this man stated, it intrigued him and now he’s looking for a completely different wife. This is a good thing! He didn’t know what a godly wife was supposed to look like before he found my blog. All he had probably seen were feminist who wanted careers and make money. He has been raised breathing the feminist air as all of us have.
Some men read to mock me. Some read to be entertained by what I write. Some read to learn more about biblical womanhood for their daughters, or for what kind of a wife they want someday. Some write to defend and encourage me, and to encourage the godly women who read what I write. Some wish their wives would read what I write. Some read to correct me on some things. There are all kinds of reasons why men read what I write but they know that my ministry isn’t to teach them. This is clear and the women who accuse me of teaching men know this too. And no, I don’t mind men commenting on my blog and social media sites. I like women to understand what men are thinking. Many of them have very good insight that we can learn from.
The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5
31 thoughts on “Why Some Men “Follow” Me”
As a guy I just appreciate women “teaching” true biblical womanhood to other women. There is such a lacking out there that I just like to encourage women like you to keep going and to know you are doing a good thing. The feminist movement is getting worse and worse. For other women especially younger women to have someone like yourself to guide them is huge. Most women have no idea how to be a godly woman because how easily indoctrinated the world has made them.
Plus I also want to make sure you aren’t putting out false teachings like the majority of women out there sadly. You DON’T teach men or major doctrine other than biblical womanhood because it isn’t your place but in saying that having good godly men look over your stuff is ok.
It seems most women Bible teachers teach everything but biblical womanhood, sadly. I used to teach biblical doctrine on my blog until a man confronted me about doing so. He told me if women aren’t to teach men because they are more easily deceived (1 Timothy 2:11-14), then why should they be teaching other women biblical doctrine. It made sense to me and God is very clear what He wants older women teaching the younger women so I try very hard to stick to what God has commanded that I teach. (Ken will write posts with biblical doctrine once in a while.) Young women desperately need to hear how God calls them to live their lives. They can learn biblical doctrines, other than biblical womanhood, from their pastors and many other great men preachers of the Word.
But if women are so “easily deceived” then why is it ok for them to teach children? The most vulnerable of all.
Amen! God bless that man who confronted you as well. Yeah your husband does a great job when he posts. Keep doing what you’re doing, the churches aren’t teaching this, majority of parents aren’t, and women are growing up thinking they are special when they do live out their biblical roles. You aren’t special just for doing what God has commanded you to do its just the world has fallen so much.
Wives are under their husband’s leadership. God gives the command to raise children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord to fathers. And if a woman has a question in the church, she is to ask her husband at home (so God is clear with the spiritual authority in the home) but mothers definitely need to be reading the Bible to their children and teaching their children the ways of the Lord. This is entirely different then standing on a stage behind a pulpit and teaching women in the churches the Bible without ever mentioning anything about biblical womanhood.
My blog originally was predominantly for women too, but men also enjoy it…. I think the issue with some lies I the idea that men aren’t allowed an opinion in the radical feminist mindset!
I read your articles primarily to share with my wife, who has been encouraged by you. I also find it incredibly encouraging to see someone actually agreeing with scripture rather than using cultural differences as an excuse to ignore clear scriptural truths. Is not God omnipresent? Did our culture take Him by surprise? Of course not. He caused the Scriptures, in their original form, to be written (2 Timothy 3:16) and made no mistake in specifying the roles for men and women. I also hope that I can encourage you and Ken as you teach women that God’s design will bring the greatest fulfillment.
I just wanted to add that I took a look at the Facebook site, which I typically do not do. It reminded me of why this is. So many comments are blatantly contrary to scripture that it is shocking, despite the fact that I should be used to it. It caused me to stop and pray for you.
Thank you, Chris. Facebook is my largest social media platform by far and its become so large due to several of my posts going viral which has brought in a lot of people who mock God and His ways. I try to moderate it the best that I can but I can’t comment on every single contentious comment nor do I want to and I don’t see all of them. I have learned to ignore them. Thankfully, seeds of truth are being planted.
The best reason for anyone to read these blog posts, whether male or female, married or not, is Philippians 4:8 where we are to think on good things, and biblical teaching would be one of those good things to think on.
Hello, my name is Ryan, and I’ve been reading your articles for a while now. I don’t remember how I even stumbled across your site to begin with, but I am very grateful for your work here and for your courage to teach women the truth.
I’m 20 years old, and I’m a senior in college now. All around me, it seems that there are people (even Christians) that either reject the things you teach (really, what the Bible teaches), or don’t know/care enough to believe them. It is encouraging to me to see that there still are women who follow what the Bible teaches, particularly about womanhood.
I’ve been praying that God would bless me with a wife, and through your articles, I’ve been able to learn a lot about women, and your articles help me to remember what it is that I ought to be praying for and looking for in a potential partner. As I’m striving, by the Lord’s strength, to be a transformed man in Christ, it is vital to know how to recognize a transformed woman. Thank you for your ministry to women, and I appreciate being able to glean some things from it as well.
By the way, it is patently obvious that your teaching is for women. Though it is true that men also read your articles, that doesn’t mean that you are setting out to teach men. As men of God, we seek the Lord’s wisdom in many avenues, and I believe that your blog is an avenue where wisdom is found. Even men can be blessed by your ministry to women, even though it is not for the men.
Thank you, Ryan. I believe women are trying to make me think I am disobeying God’s command to not teach or be in authority over men (1 Tim. 2) simply because they are looking for any way to stop me from teaching. This is just one of the many ways, but it won’t work since, as you and everyone else can see, I’m not teaching men.
Because I have 6 daughters and 2 boys. I want to know how I should be training my daughters into being the women God calls them to be. And my son to look for Godly women.
Well stated Lori!
The main reason I “follow” your blog is to ensure that any content which I allow my wife to read online is aligned with my values.
Sadly, it’s getting harder and harder to find sites that I can safely allow access to without leading her into temptation. I also enjoy printing out some of your posts and leaving them around the house as a reminder to her of how a godly wife should behave! Very helpful!
God bless you and Ken in your endeavor. This may be a fallen world but the Alexander’s are a beacon of light and truth.
For the first 25 years of my marriage, I left my wife’s spirituality to her alone. I believed that it was not my place to try and directly meddle in her relationship with God. She was not being the Godly wife that she should be and I was not at all happy about it (In fact, I grew very frustrated and angry with it over the years) but early on, after seeking help from our pastor and several years later, one of the elders in our church (both to no avail), I resigned myself to thinking that all I could do was pray for her.
I did pray (almost) daily that God would do a work in her and open her eyes to her sin… through Sunday school… or the church sermons… or the women’s bible study… or women’s retreats… etc… but it did not happen. It never got better, it only got worse over the years and I made things worse though my frustrated and angry responses to her sin.
I finally woke up on the morning of our 25 wedding anniversary and being WAY past the end of my rope I told God that 25 years was long enough for me to wait and I was not going to wait any longer for Him to fix my wife and save our marriage, (which was just about gone by that time). I am not going to tell you that I heard the audible voice of God but what did echo through my mind at that point was something to the effect of… “IT’S ABOUT TIME!” I said WHAT?!? And my mind said, “Well you ARE the head of your wife, she is YOUR responsibility and it’s up to YOU to help her get where she needs to be!”
I was honestly very confused at all of that but it gave me hope that I had given up on years earlier. I decided right then that I was going to apply my natural (God given) problem solving abilities and figure out how to help my wife learn what she needed to learn about being a Godly wife. I was also instantly convicted that I needed to get the log (anger) out of my own eye before I could help her get the splinter out of hers.
As I began to work on the anger issue, I began searching on the internet and found (from various sources) information that did confirm that it is a husbands responsibility to wash his wife in the water of the word to help remove her spots and blemishes. It is part of how he loves her. (Ephesians 5:25-27) I was convicted that I had failed in this area of loving her for many years and I was going to repent.
I reasoned that it would probably be easier for a woman to listen to and learn from another woman and I already new the verse in Titus 2 about how the older women in the church were SUPPOSED to be teaching the younger women. Over the years before this I had (many times) looked for a Godly woman in our church to try and refer my wife to but from what I could see, none existed so now, to the internet I went.
Very long story short, I began searching the internet for women who wrote papers, articles, books etc. on Godly womanhood. I read hundreds of pages, bought and read dozens of books (most junk) and eventually stumbled upon the “Always Learning” blog-site and began reading. I was really encouraged by what I read. I went back to the beginning of the blog and although I did not read every single post (recipes, etc.) I did read virtually every post (and comment) that dealt specifically with Godly womanhood and could hardly find any error in what Lori was teaching. I asked (and eventually instructed) my wife to start reading this site.
Again, very long story short, (leaving out a lot of crucial details that are beyond the scope of this post), it took a while but eventually she did start reading the “Always Learning” site and then continued on to “The Transformed Wife” and still reads to this day. To say that it has helped a lot is a massive understatement. My daughter is supposed to be reading the site also and I continue to read this site daily to see what they are learning and also comment when I feel compelled to do so in an attempt to help others with what was (hard fought) learned in my life.
It took several years (of me washing my wife in the word) and there were some very rough patches. At one point it took a sharp turn for (what looked like) the worse but God worked it out and my wife is now the Godly wife that she should be and our marriage is better than I ever hoped that it could be. All praise and credit to our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Many thanks to Lori and Ken for this invaluable ministry that they labor hard in.
ALL of this to say…. Lori does not and has not taught me about being a Godly husband (Ken did teach me some things via private e-mail) but she does an outstanding job of teaching women how to be Godly wives and I thank God for her.
O.T. – I know that many times when I comment it comes across as harsh because I try and speak plainly to make the point but please know that in my heart, I just consider myself as one beggar trying to show the other beggars where the bread is. Wishing that someone would have done the same for me many years ago.
Thank you, Trey. I appreciate a lot of the wisdom that you have shared on this blog and happy to hear that your marriage is so much stronger.
I think it’s great that men are asking questions of Lori, or commenting on her posts. I think you should ask away. If comments are made by women seeking counsel from men, feel free to answer. I do take some issue with posts from men who correct or scold women’s comments. These men are not our husbands or ministers. Let us women seek the counsel of godly women on this forum and let those men, whom we know -have dominion over counseling us. So, ask questions and comment on the posts – but, I’d let the women comment on the women. It’s Lori’s blog, though. She can do what she wants.
Lori, I follow your blog because my wife follows your blog. God holds me responsible for where my wife gets her spiritual food, and so I need to keep abreast of what she is feeding on. Not that I need teaching by a woman (something I am vehemently opposed to!) but I need to scrutinize what she is reading and ensure that she is getting sound biblical guidance. God expects that of me.
Sometimes I read your writings on Pinterest and if my wife hasn’t already pinned it, I will send her the link if I feel it is relevant. Other times she will read your blog and show me. We always discuss what we have read and I guide her in learning more through scripture and my own God-given knowledge.
For a number of years I have been praying that our Father would lead my wife down the true path of wifely submissiveness, obedience and Godly womanhood, and your blog has been a Godsend. Since she came across your writings about 18 months ago, our marriage has been transformed in a way I only dreamed of. I believe strongly that your writings were ordained by God to teach my wife the truth, and I actively encourage her to seek out more of the same. She is still learning and being transformed herself, and for that I am eternally grateful to our Lord.
I don’t always agree with everything you have to say (a topic for debate at another time!) however in the areas that really count in our marriage and walk together with God, I cannot fault you. And to read the things that Ken has to say on occasion just confirms that. You have a good master in that man (of course you already know that!) so please pass on my thanks to him as well.
Thank you for the impact you have had on our lives Lori. And don’t stop standing up to the feminists who would seek to corrupt our faith with their lies. You have our support. And our love.
(Please feel free to share any of all that I have written above)
Thank you, Michael! I will certainly pass it on to Ken. He is certainly a good one.
I follow because it’s so awesome to find a place where a strong woman with a Godly husband teaches other women the truth.
Since America is dominated by women who refuse Gods design for them, this site is a wonderful oasis of sanity, in a desert of toxic feminism.
Recognizing that both genders have superior spheres did a welcome breath of fresh air.
I have recommended this site in hundreds of conversations. I also have sent the link to thousands of friends. It is very useful to give to women who were never taught godliness.
I have many direct family members, both male and female, who do not practice Gods roles for the genders and it causes them quite a few problems. So, this site is a valuable key to put into the lock of indifference and being uninformed, and to open enlightenment, virtue, wisdom, and insight.
Thank you, Ken and Lori.
This site has no doubt helped tens of thousands around the world.
Since the backbone of America was the two sacraments God gave mankind, marriage and the Christian church, and this site promotes the former, and upholds the latter, the efforts of The Transformed Wife are tremendously helping the restoration of America to the virtue, Godliness, wisdom, and Biblical knowledge we once had in abundance.
Hi Lori
How are you?
?, I never understood this temptation thing that people talk about. Due to the schooling I do online from home, its medical related, so certain pop ups appear, & links & that of course would go into inappropriate material if I clicked, but I have no desire to do that, nor would my husband ever monitor what I watch or read. Nor demand that I read certain material. Im the one who does the tv etc filtering in our house. I do all the baby’s bible story reading & prayer time. I grew up next door to a bar, never drank. Drugs, smoking, sex happened at school, I just quietly went to my study’s & prayer group time. Which I had to petition & fight for. Ive been in church since 5 days old & don’t know any other life & I have been exposed to a lot of stuff since becoming an adult, working before marriage & even exposure after marriage, just due to living in the world & everyone in the family isn’t saved. Thank God I never had the desire to do any of it. I have had arguments with family regarding the issues bc they say my parents brain washed us into saying Jesus is the only way, that we need to enjoy life. I do know some people wouldn’t have been to resist, but my parents always said serve God, put him first, resist the devil & he will flee from you. don’t give any place to him, even Jesus was tempted, & he resisted. I thank God every day for his strength to survive in this horrible world. When I get more money coming in, Im going to buy more Bible versus for the walls.
I am an older man, a widower who has some minor age daughters that I am raising. I found your blog several days ago while trying to find sites for my daughters to read and learn from to become more Christ like in their lives now and in the future when they do get married. I read your articles to verify that it is scriptural before allowing my daughters to read and learn from them. It is a shame that I have to search the internet for women still teaching the younger women God’s principles for them. There are NONE / ZERO / ZILCH godly women locally that I have been able to find, to be an influence in my daughters lives.
Thank you for guiding your wife to God’s ways. She will thank you when she meets Jesus in heaven.
I’m putting this comment here because I’m blocked elsewhere and I think you would want to know this. When a comment poster puts words in multiple parentheses, it is called the echo, and what is inside the parentheses is to be taken as meaning “Jew” or “Jewish”. For example one of your recent FB posters, Sandra Saladino Embry, made a comment about women working and used (((top people))). In the context that it was written Embry is blaming Jews for encouraging women to work. She is also a member of an antisemitic group. I would hope that you would be against antisemitism and not provide a platform for such people. Often they can be detected by their words, but you can be sure that if you see the echo parentheses, you’re dealing with someone who hates Jews.
Thank you Julia. I will try to take notice of this. I had no idea and I am absolutely against any kind of racism. I probably won’t take the time to look for this comment since I have hundreds on many of my posts and you didn’t specify which post this was on but if I do see them, I will block them.
I think that it is incredibly important to involve men in the fight against feminism and especially for them to speak out against and ideally act to prevent the sinful acts, behaviour and lifestyles which feminist perpetrate under the guise of “women’s rights”.
I heard about this site from the debt free virgins discussions on other sites. I wanted to see if Lori was sticking to scripture, as that is the primary tool we have to determine whether something is godly or not (Christ regularly used OT scripture to back up his teaching. and even used scripture to confront Satan).
Anyway, I believe The Transformed Wife is in accordance with scripture. Readers are free to accept or reject Lori’s advice, but it’s biblically based.
As for the idea that Lori is teaching men, her posts are clearly directed at women. If some men read and learn, it is on them to study and confirm in scripture what Lori has written. Otherwise, an older woman would never be able to teach younger women anything on the off chance that a man might overhear and learn something.
One last thing. Feminists and nonbelievers often use the “hate” argument against Christians. If we don’t agree with them, we must hate them. I don’t know the nature of all replies Lori receives on her posts, but I would try to avoid the hate rhetoric unless it’s truly appropriate. One can call something wrong—a sin for example—without hating the sinner.
Thank you, Chris. I just made a video yesterday on majoring on the major thing which is is the Gospel. There is way too much infighting among believers in Jesus Christ if they disagree with someone. Yes, we can disagree but we must do it with love and kindness.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4YA-ocimp0&t=207s
I do take some issue with posts from men who correct or scold women’s comments. These men are not our husbands or ministers. Let us women seek the counsel of godly women…
If men are trying to correct you, that is, in fact, them being a minister to you. If you can’t accept the blunt and confronting way some men state things, that could also be unwillingness on your part to accept direct criticism, preferring flattery instead. You are always free to get as much correction as you want from your own husband at home, I don’t think any man here has denied you the ability to be corrected by your husband and other ministers as well. And comments like this one do not prevent other women from answering you as well. It sounds to me like you may just generally object to men in society firmly correcting or contending with women at all, as though Feminism has made you believe women to be either superior or equal vessels, not weaker ones. Don’t be so haughty that you reflexively condemn men for attempting to correct women, and that you don’t take a scolding from God fearing men. I also suspect Lori would delete comments that she felt were all meanness with no message. Generally speaking, those women who complain the worst about a scolding need one the most.
Katherine, it’s not correction it’s direction. Correction should point people in the direction of Jesus Christ, “The Way, the Truth, and the Life.” Scripture tells us that if you don’t accept discipline you are illegitimate.
“In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says, “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.” Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.”
Hebrews 12:4-8 NIV
https://www.bible.com/111/heb.12.4-8.niv
For the men who read your blog and want a wife who believes as you do, keep your faith dear. We are out there.