Women Not Wanting Children
Many women will tell me that they don’t want children, even Christian women will tell me this. They act like this is a choice they can make even though they are married. Children are seen as something they simply don’t desire and they seem fine with this decision.
Women who say they don’t want children have given into the anti-child feminist mindset of our day which has led to the slaughtering of millions of unborn babies. Children should be desired and welcomed. Our bodies were created to bear and nurse children. Not wanting children is denying the created order by God.
One woman on my Instagram wrote the following: “I don’t know how 50-60 years ago, a mere handful of selfish, disgruntled women managed to hijack the hearts and minds of nearly an entire generation of women and fool them into thinking God’s plan and purpose for their lives was really man’s plot to enslave and oppress them. It’s diabolical how so many women in so short a period of time (compared to the thousands of years prior to feminism) went from being the nurturing heart of the home to active, participating proponents of promiscuity, divorce, abortion, and the envious disrespect of men. It happened so fast that so few noticed that the ‘respect’ feminism supposedly afforded women was really culturally sanctioned ridicule, diminishment, and destruction of what makes women so special.”
Being married is NOT enslavement nor is it bondage, neither is bearing and raising children, or being keepers at home, as feminists want you to believe. Stop being deceived by the enemy of your soul and begin to trust in the Savior of your soul who wants good for you and not evil. Satan’s plan is evil. It only leads to destruction and pain. God’s plan is good and if you are a believer in Him, ALL things work together for those who love Him and are called according to His plan.
I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the home, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
1 Timothy 5:14
30 thoughts on “Women Not Wanting Children”
Sometimes it’s the man that doesn’t want children.I know this is geared towards women not wanting children, but just wanted to point out that men don’t want them either. I know couples that the husband refuses to have sex without birth control because they do not want children/more children.
Lori, thank you so much for teaching these things to younger women like myself. Before my friend showed me your blog, I was oblivious to God’s design for my life as a woman, wife, and soon-to-be mom. I’m so thankful God has shown me these biblical truths through His Word, and through you as a messenger / teacher. We can be so influenced by culture, and even by our churches in the wrong way if they aren’t teaching true biblical womanhood. My old church was not. I was encouraged by the pastors to continue my college degree; the pastor’s wives and women in the church all work out of their home; and young women like myself were being sent to colleges out of state by their church and parents. This is so opposite to what I’ve learned from you and truly what I see laid out in Scripture now! I’m thankful that my husband supported the decision for me to stop college, as well as be a stay at home mom starting in January when our baby is born. I’m so thankful God opened my eyes because I now realize that going to college and working forever is not my dream… my dream has always been to be a mother and take care of my house and husband. I just never realized this was biblically encouraged and commanded. Sorry for the long post, I’m just truly excited and thankful for what I’ve learned!!
I’ve been a long-time reader but never commented before. But I felt like I needed to share a different perspective on this issue. You said that “Women who say they don’t want children have given into the anti-child feminist mindset ” but I would like to respectfully point out that there is a multitude of other reasons for which women might decide not to have children that are not due to feminism. For example, I know of a case where a woman suffers from extreme anxiety of pregnancy and childbirth (tokophobia) and it’s very difficult for women like her to go through with pregnancy. Pregnancy can also be very difficult for autistic women with severe sensory issues. I also know of cases of women who decided to stop having children after their first child, after having had severe post-partum depression or hyperemesis gravidarum. Seeing these examples, I feel like most of the time these women don’t want to share these personal details and it’s easier for them to say that they don’t want kids. Children are a blessing indeed but unfortunately these personal circumstanes make it extemely difficult for these women to have kids.
Amen Lori! You CANNOT call yourself a Christian unless you are FULLY open to His blessings in HIS time. None of this “well I don’t want, and I can’t can’t help that” business. It doesn’t matter what we want or don’t want. It’s what’s pleasing and glorifying to God. Grow up, please. Too many baby and child Christians who are refusing to mature in their faith through enduring trial and tribulation. “God isn’t gonna miraculously pay our bills if I don’t work like my husband does!” Well, maybe God doesn’t work miracles because we don’t believe He can, so either He doesn’t bother because He knows your stiffnecked and hardhearted, or He does and you miss it because you want things to be done YOUR way. Trust in Him. Obedience to God is so much more important than being comfortable. So what if you’re struggling to pay the bills because you’re staying home with your children with one on the way? If God put/allowed that situation in your path, He will provide for you. Believe that He can.
Quote – “Many women will tell me that they don’t want children, even Christian women will tell me this.”
Sadly Lori, with me being 59yrs old, I have heard this from a lot of women, both secular and Christian. They freely confess it with their own mouths and try every excuse to justify it.
The #1 reason they give is that having children will ruin their career.
The #2 reason is that having children will ruin the woman’s sexy body.
Quote – “One woman on my Instagram wrote the following: “I don’t know how 50-60 years ago, a mere handful of selfish, disgruntled women managed to hijack the hearts and minds of nearly an entire generation of women and fool them into thinking God’s plan and purpose for their lives was really man’s plot to enslave and oppress them. It’s diabolical how so many women in so short a period of time (compared to the thousands of years prior to feminism) went from being the nurturing heart of the home to active, participating proponents of promiscuity, divorce, abortion, and the envious disrespect of men….”
How is it possible for a handful of women to change a generation of women’s thoughts????
2 bible verses readily come to mind
2 Thessalonians 2:10-12 KJV
And with all deceivableness of unrighteousness in them that perish; because they received not the love of the truth, that they might be saved. And for this cause God shall send them strong delusion, that they should believe a lie: That they all might be damned who believed not the truth, but had pleasure in unrighteousness.
2 Timothy 3:6 KJV
For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,
Quote – “Being married is NOT enslavement nor is it bondage, neither is bearing and raising children, or being keepers at home, as feminists want you to believe. Stop being deceived by the enemy of your soul and begin to trust in the Savior of your soul who wants good for you and not evil. Satan’s plan is evil. It only leads to destruction and pain.”
So very true. It all goes back to Satan’s lie to Eve in the the garden – Yea, hath God said…..
Women will believe what someone else tells them rather than what God or their husband tells them.
Proverbs 31:10-12 KJV
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
I would love to find a virtuous woman for my wife.
A woman that I can trust would be doing me good and not evil.
One that I can trust not to be running me deep in debt because she spends on frivolous things, or wants new cars every year or wants big fancy houses…..
One that I can trust that she won’t be having sex with other men.
One that I can trust with my children.
One that I know that I can trust her with my heart.
Thanks for the post! I used to be super feminist, but I’ve since realized what the Bible says is right. And honestly, thinking about it, feminism doesn’t make much sense. Women really looked around at what they had: a comfortable home, providing husband, the pleasure and privilege of raising and teaching their children, and decided to say “no thanks, just the manual labor for me.” And then so many women agreed. I just don’t get it.
My husband did not want children and it is my duty to honor and obey.
This is something that should be talked about BEFORE marriage. I would never recommend a woman marrying a man who wants to disregard one of the main purposes of marriage and sex.
Godly women should never marry men who don’t want to have children.
Yes, Kristin, I understand this. We are promised pain in childbearing and I think this refers to the entire process of childbearing. It’s difficult for many women but as Christian women, we need to walk by faith instead of by fear. I asked the women in the chat room a while back if any of them suffered from Hyperemesis Gravidarum during pregnancy and if they did, did they want more children after suffering so much. Every single one said that they did because children were worth the pain and suffering. Women must remind themselves that they can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens them! Yes, there are certain circumstances that make it impossible for women to not have children. There will always be exceptions but they don’t negate the fact that God wants young women to marry, bear children, and guide the home.
A couple around us has bragged for years about the money and freedom they have because they don’t have children. Well, our children are grown up now and they are the joy of our lives. I would rather have them at our house for Sunday dinner, sitting around the table eating and laughing and telling stories and memories than any THING that money can buy. This other couple just keeps buying more and more possessions and I hate to tell them, but it is all going to burn. You can’t take it with you. Our children were the best investment we have ever made.
Isn’t the POINT of having a ‘sexy body’ to attract a husband with whom to reproduce??
These women have no sense of cause and effect.
The sad part is is that all the while these selfish women with their birth control, abortions, fornication, and whole anti-child mindset, then there are the married couples who would love nothing better than to have a quiver full of children, and yet can’t.
I got married about a month and a half ago. If anyone could say a prayer that we be blessed with a child soon, it would be much appreciated!
I agree, Anna. My heart aches for the godly couples who want children but can’t. Adoption needs to be made much more affordable and if women would stop having their babies slaughtered in their wombs, there would be plenty of babies for the infertile women to adopt.
Great comment, Emily Joy! There’s nothing that brings more joy into my life than my children and now grandchildren. They are missing out on the best things in life.
Very true a lot of men have been indoctrinated by feminism as well. Sad situation. Its not all on the wife and if the husband doesn’t want kids its final. I know women who found Christ after being married so the husband is still not saved and doesn’t want kids or more kids. All you can do as a wife is follow God’s word, submit to your husband, and pray God changes your husband’s mind.
My late wife had 3 children.
I still found her just as sexy looking as when I married her.
Maybe even more sexy.
But you all know my story there and how that turned out so I won’t rehash it.
To me, my wife is the most beautiful woman in the world and the most sexy, bar none.
That is how every husband should see his wife.
I was raised by a very neglectful, irresponsible mother and part of the reason I have not had children is because I am terrified of becoming a mother like her.
I know a Godly woman shouldn’t marry a man that doesn’t want children. Just wanted to point out it’s not just evil women that do not want children, there are evil men who don’t want them either. There are as many Godly men women as unGodly men and women that do not want children. I know several Godly couples that went into marriage knowing the other did not want children. We shouldn’t be surprised at this no desire for children,even among Christian couples, the church embraces this just as much as the world.
Both my husband and I were both saved when we married yet very worldly in our mindsets. We came into marriage with the “2 and done” thinking. God convicting ME after suffering post partum depression after my 2nd son was born. I wanted all the children God would give me. My husband not so much. He has to be in control and while he’s “given in” To having 2 more it’s hard because his heart is strained between Gods Word and this worlds humanistic philosophy. It is final for us unless God changes his heart and expands his faith to know he can handle whatever God gives us.
The sad thing is, that Churches are even to gutless to preach these trueths.
I pray that all Christian couples but especially Christian women are brought back to an appreciation, understanding and acceptance of God’s purpose for marriage, for sexual intimacy and for our bodies. The creation and nurture of children.
In marriage children should be welcomed as the blessing they are as, when and as often as God wishes. Birth control is a sin and a rejection of God’s purpose.
I didnt have any belief in evolution until I have heard plenty of women saying that they never wanted kids or something backward like “it would ruin my body”. I believe that this is a sign that I shouldnt have kids with a woman or that there is something wrong with them. By doing the “tree frog” warning; they did me a big favor. I strongly doubt they will ever get clued in. We have a lost generation because of them.
I would understand if the women say that she’s asexual or just want to remain single all her life but it seems that the women who tend to say that they don’t want kids are married or in a relationship outside of marriage and sexually active so there is no doubt that they want to willingly prevent themselves to give birth by using birth control. Womens thought that they could control biology with the pill but they can’t. What they are doing is killing their babies therefore we can assume that they don’t want kids for selfish reasons.
Women have told me that they are afraid of ruining their body with children because they are afraid their husband will stray. I guess it makes sense when you think about what we hear all the time in society: how we have to have perfect bodies to attract men, and men aren’t interested in dating women who are less than a “perfect 10”. The amount of body shaming I see going on is astonishing.
Of course the reality is different, but having that fear must be really awful. I can’t imagine being married to a man that I couldn’t trust to be faithful.
For me, my husband loved my body when I was pregnant. He loved my extra curves and the way my belly grew as our baby did. It was a miracle to him and he loved it every time. Now 4 kids, 18 years and 10kg extra later, he still loves my body. If he *does* stray, it won’t be because of my post-baby body.
I dont know what the situation is in the US but here in England there ARE children waiting to be adopted but the crazy lefties have to have their destructive anti family agenda. There are couples who have been told that they are too Christian to adopt, too white, too heterosexual and intend to homeschool. Its evil denying children a stable home.
Great article. Much needed. Thank you.
I know it is not according to God’s plan that women stay childless, and I cannot understand why any woman would feel that way but in a way, I am happy these women end up not having children because they could not possibly be good mothers that raise God fearing individuals. I am happy with such women being childless as long as that doesn’t mean they murder their children before they are even born, which is evil and unimaginable on every possible level; but I guess that IS what happens most of the time in practice…
Hi Maria, I’m truly sorry to hear this.
As a new believer, I pursued a woman who experienced the same as you. I lacked so much wisdom back then, so I my discernment was very poor. However, I had a strong conviction of wanting a family. Unfortunately, her not wanting children was a deal breaker for me. One day she said she would have children, but then another day she would say she doesn’t really want children. She was never clear about it.
She was also very much influenced by worldly thinking, although on the outside she appeared to be a born again Christian.
After 8 months, I decided I was not going to pursue marriage with her and we ‘broke up’. One year later, she confessed to me she never really wanted children and she knew that from the very beginning of our relationship (meanwhile I made it very clear from the start that I wanted children). I was hurt to say the least. I felt betrayed and lied to. On the positive side, God used it to teach me to have more discernment and more wisdom.
I was willing to take her with all her issues, and through the power of God and His love, help her overcome. But her heart was hardened.
My point is this; we believers are called to overcome. Jesus’ yoke is easy. We must overcome.