“The wife who would always hold in her husband’s heart the place she held on her wedding day will never cease striving to be lovely. She will be as careful of her words and actions and her whole bearing toward him as she was before marriage. She will cultivate in her own life whatever is beautiful, whatever is winning, whatever is graceful.

“She will scrupulously avoid whatever is offensive or unwomanly. She will look well to her personal appearance; no woman can be careless in her dress, slatternly and untidy, and long keep her place on the throne of her husband’s life. She will look well to her inner life. She must have mental attractiveness. She will seek to be clothed in spiritual beauty. Her husband must see in her ever new loveliness as the years move on.

“As the charms of physical beauty may fade in the toils and vicissitudes of life, there must be more and more beauty of soul to shine out to replace the attractions that are lost. Again, let me say that no wife can overestimate the influence she wields over her husband, or the measure in which his character, his career, and his very destiny are laid in her hands for shaping. The sway which she holds over him is the sway of love, but it is mighty and resistless. If she retains her power, if she holds her place as queen of his life, she can do with has she will [either build him up or tear him down].”

These words convict me, women. I love being convicted and challenged. Even after almost 41 years of marriage, I need to be continually reminded of what a godly wife looks like. J.R. Miller in his book Homemaking challenges me. I am sure his words challenge you too. I have lost my youthful beauty. I have gray hair, age spots, and wrinkles. The only things that keep my husband attracted to me are my actions towards him and my words to him. Am I building him up and treating him with respect, or am I tearing him down? We must never stop learning and growing.

You will never be lovely to your husband if you are quarrelsome and contentious. If you are negative and critical towards him, you will push him away from you. You will become ugly in his eyes no matter how beautiful you are on the outside. Learn to speak words of life, that uplift and encourage him. Learn to use your words for good. Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth!

But how do we accomplish this? It all seems so impossible! But God… His Spirit works mightily within us. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. What are “all things”? It’s all of the things He asks of us. He wants us to stay lovely towards our husbands. He wants us to submit to them in everything and even reverence them. He wants us to care what we look like, what we’re filling our minds with, and if we’re spending time in His Word, so we can be transformed into His image. He loves us. His ways are perfect. Never forget this!

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:12