Are You a Crown to Your Husband?

Are You a Crown to Your Husband?

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is rottenness is his bones” (Proverbs 12:4).

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband,…. One that is loving and chaste, constant and faithful, obsequious [promptly obedient] and submissive to him; that is diligent in the affairs of her house, takes care of her family, brings up her children, and is an honour and credit to her husband.

“…but she that maketh ashamed; makes her husband ashamed, by her levity [unsteady] and wantonness [lack of self-control], her negligence and slothfulness, so that he is ashamed to be seen with her, or to be known that he stands in such a relation to her…

“…she is as rottenness in his bones; a constant grief to his mind, a pressure upon his spirits, a wasting of his body, and a consumption of his estate; she is, as the Targum has it, ‘as a worm in wood,’ which rots and consumes it.” (Gill’s Exposition of the Bible)

A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband. She is loving so she lives out God’s definition of love found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8: “Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things. Charity never faileth.”

She is chaste. She is free from all obscenity. She is careful how she speaks, the words she uses, and the things she watches and reads. She is careful to walk in the Spirit and not in the flesh. She is faithful to her husband until death does she part. She knows that it is her privilege to satisfy him sexually and not to deprive him.

She is constant and faithful. He doesn’t have to worry what kind of a mood she will be in since she is lead by truth rather than her emotions, feelings, or even her hormones and health. Her mind is stayed upon the Lord and His Word. She loves to glorify Him in all that she does. She is His servant and lives to please Him by serving her husband and learning what pleases him.

When her husband asks something of her, she does it as soon as she can, immediately if possible. She submits to his leadership since she knows this is how God has ordained it to be. She is a willing follower of her husband and wouldn’t want it any other way. She doesn’t try to manipulate or control her husband since she knows this is wrong. She is content in the role that God has given to her.

She is diligent in the affairs of the house. She loves to work hard in her home and is thankful for it. She loves beauty and understands that a clean and tidy home is beautiful no matter how simple it is. There are times when it gets messy due to small children but this doesn’t bother her since she knows her children are more important than having a perfect home. However, she isn’t lazy in her home keeping duties. She tries the best that she can to stay on top of them. She looks well to the ways of her household.

Taking care of her family is her first priority above everything else. She makes sure they are well fed with clean clothes before she takes on any other responsibilities. She knows she was created to be her husband’s help meet and her children’s mother so this is the ministry that she focuses upon. She puts her time, energy, and talents into being the best wife and mother that she can be. She knows that there are eternal rewards in doing this since this is exactly what God has called her to do.

She raises her children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord. She trains, disciplines, and teaches them. She understands that teaching them the ways of the Lord is the most important thing that she can do for them since the greatest joy in life is to have children who walk in truth. She doesn’t neglect this duty since she knows her children’s eternal souls are at stake.

This is a virtuous women. Are you are crown to your husband, women? If you don’t think it’s possible, you are wrong. God tells you that you can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens you. He tells us that His commands aren’t burdensome. It’s a matter of taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ and continually renewing your minds with truth.

Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12

13 thoughts on “Are You a Crown to Your Husband?

  1. Good reminder. I struggle with doing things immediately that my husband asked me to take care of. I fully intend on doing them I just get distracted and then I forget about it. 😬 Not good. I have been trying to do things immediately, even if they’re not essential to be done right away, just so I don’t forget.

  2. This is one of my biggest goals these days. I have an injury that will take awhile to heal so I’m not able to do all areas of my housekeeping without his help. I try and make up for this in other ways and work extra hard to do what I can WELL. I try not to complain about the pain and keep a happy face. I can tell that he appreciates my effort and I enjoy the feeling of getting something done.

  3. I love this!!
    It’s too late for me, but I hope all young women read it and take it to heart. If they do, they will reap the blessings.

    1. @KAK
      Why is it too late for you?

      You are still alive.
      Your husband is still alive.
      You are still married to him.

      Repent and do God’s word and receive his blessings.
      Today is the 1st day of the rest of your life.

      1. Amen! I thought it a rather strange comment. Even if you haven’t started well, it doesn’t mean you can never finish well. I realise from previous comments that KAK’s life is challenging for her. But God is still able to work and does so even when we can’t see it. It is NEVER too late

        1. Thank you Blair and Meg.
          I have added another comment at the end of this post detailing what I meant, but I appreciate your encouragement. You are right – it is never too late to start doing God’s will.

    2. KAK, I’m sure it’s not too late for you. Positive.

      I’ve been a witch to my husband this past week. I have gall bladder issues and the pain is mind-blowing. This makes me cranky and snappish and most certainly not calm, submissive or even-tempered. He is patient, but I hate who I am when I’m like this. Every morning I wake up promising God and myself I will be different and every day I fail. So I try again. Today has not been awful so far and the pain is beginning to subside, so there is hope.

      Jesus fell three times carrying the Cross. We will fall much more often. He commands us to get up and try again. It is never too late. I will pray for you, not so that you can change, but so you no longer despair.

      1. Thank you so much! Your comment has encouraged me more than you can know.
        I am so sorry to hear about your pain. Living in constant pain must be terrible. My husband sometimes does (he has herniated discs in his back) and I am not patient enough, nor forgiving enough. I get bitter and angry when he snaps at me unfairly.

  4. There is a lot to live up to in this post… and in the Scriptures as a whole reguarding my role as wife and Mom. As we love, reverence, serve, etc. our husbands it’s amazing what they become to us and for us. It’s a win win situation!

  5. Thank you for all the encouraging comments! I should have put a bit more detail into my comment. I was referring specifically to the children walking in the truth part.
    As for the rest of it… Well I’m not perfect at that either, but the Lord continues to give me a new chance each day and I will keep trying.

    I regret that I wasn’t diligent enough in teaching my children about the Lord. My husband came to church with me for 3 or 4 years, a couple of times, several years apart. But during the years he didn’t come, I didn’t always insist my children accompany me. I still don’t, but I know I should.
    So now I have a 17 year old son who has moved out of home to live on the farm he works on. I no longer have any influence over him at all, and although he is a very hard worker and a kind person, he drinks, smokes, and has no interest in following the Lord at this stage.
    My two teenage daughters do come to church with me most of the time, but also sleep over at friends houses some weekends too, taking them from church. They listen to worldly music and watch worldly movies. Neither of them have indicated a desire to serve the Lord themselves yet. My husband does enforce a decent standard of dress for them, though.
    That only leaves Mr 8 and he is fast heading in the same direction as his siblings.
    I pray for my husband and children daily, but it is heartbreaking and so worrying, watching them turn away from Christ. And once they get older, it’s really hard to change what they know. Rebellion sets in and forcing them to come to church and live by Christian standards all of a sudden when their father isn’t, is almost impossible.

    1. Hello KAK,
      I understand the pain you are feeling. I am a Christian woman, who was formerly married to a non-Christian. We were married for many years and had four children together. I homeschooled my children and took them to church every chance I could My husband’s non-Christian lifestyle was a compelling pull. After nightmarish years of his drinking, drugs, porn, physical and emotional abuse, I finally left him and divorced him. At the time, the children were adult and 3 still at home. We were divorced for almost 2 years when he became a Christian and begged for my forgiveness and another chance. We went to counseling and worked out our relationship. We were remarried last year. We have never been happier. My husband is a completely different man. He loves Christ, loves me, and loves our children. It is too late for our children as well, though. I tried so hard to raise them in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. I will soon have 2 grandchildren out of wedlock. My second son has been heavily involved in drugs and was in jail for a time. He is starting to get his life back on track. My youngest has moved in with his girlfriend, whose mother is obviously non-Christian and a terrible influence. I fear my youngest will father a child young. His father and I have begged for the two youngest children to return to us but to no avail. They are not interested n living in a Christian household and follow our Lord Jesus. We are so conservative now that there is no television in our home, no video games, and no secular music is allowed. My husband follows the Lord, loves me and leads me well. It is such a blessing to be married to him. I will be praying for you and for your children, KAK. I know how hard it is to see your children go down this terrible path. I completely understand your heartbreak.

  6. “Rebellion sets in and forcing them to come to church and live by Christian standards all of a sudden when their father isn’t, is almost imposible.”

    I sympathize with your story (being the daughter of a worrying fearful mother)
    I do not believe its impossible, but first God has to do a work in their heart. God took a hold of my heart at age 30. I was a rebellious teenager, got pregnant at 19 and struggled with the idol of bulimia and yet GOD choose me from the beginning of time before I did any right or wrong to pour out His mercies on me and He has done a mighty work in my life. Where I could not ever take any credit. My brother in law – homeless and addicted to drugs – God saved him. My husband who walked away from God completely, God brought him back to himself even though he did not want to at all! My husband now says that God dragged him back and I believe him, Gods plan will not be thwarted.

    “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. – Job 42:2

    Proverbs 21:1 – “The king’s heart is in the hand of the LORD, like the rivers of water; He turns it wherever He wishes.

    I know we are told in the word to teach the children the things of God and I do! We are commanded to pray and we do. I ALSO strongly believe salvation belongs to the Lord and it is the Lord that saves His people. I cannot save my children. I pray and I teach my children but it is GODS WORK in their hearts that saves them.

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