Birth Control Violates Natural Law
“The very opportunities birth control affords women have detrimentally affected women. Birth control and abortion, by increasing illegitimate births, has led to ‘the feminization poverty’; men are no longer forced to marry the women they impregnate, yet women still overwhelmingly bear the cost of pregnancy. Oddly, the financial gains by women are not making them happier, as, ‘Women whose husbands are the breadwinners tend to be happier than other women.’
“Female sexual risk has been reduced, educational and financial attainment has risen, yet life is now, ‘more challenging on them relationally. . . . the route to marriage—something the vast majority still holds as a goal—is more fraught with years and failed relationships than in the past.’ Basically, ‘Once familiar structures, narratives, and rituals about romance and marriage—how to date, falling in love, whom to marry, why, and when—have largely collapsed.’
“Birth control, and to a lesser extent, abortion, are bringing about the destruction of our civilization. It is now only a matter of time before Western civilization collapses. According to Unwin, we cross the River Rubicon three generations from when the norms about sexual opportunities are relaxed.
“We are no different from any other civilization that has come before us and violated this aspect of the natural law. Do not be fooled by modernity and technological advancements that appear to make us better than previous generations. Sooner or later, Western civilization as we know it will join the ill-fated annals of history as just that: history.”
These are quotes from an excellent article called The Rise of Birth Control and the Decline of Civilization written by Steven Kessler. He argues that women using birth control violates natural law. There was a lot of discussion on my post about it being sinful for couples to not have children if they can. The disheartening thing about the entire discussion is that we wouldn’t even be having it if it weren’t for birth control. Before the advent of birth control and the birth control mentality, couples would marry and if they were able, soon began having children. It was an aspect of natural law. The Church taught against birth control for years, before it became widely accepted in the churches, because it valued children. What happened?
Christians everywhere fell for the lure of careers for women, paychecks, and higher standards of living, thus children became a burden rather than a blessing. God calls children a blessing and happy is the man who has a quiver full but many are willing to accept all of the other blessings from God but not children. The mandate from God to be fruitful and multiply has never been taken away since men still enjoy sex, produce sperm, and women still have periods, eggs, ovulate, and have breasts and a womb. Men are ready for sex most of the time and women enjoy it most when they’re ovulating. He created couples to be fruitful and multiply! Fighting against this is fighting against natural law.
Some women who read what I write want more children. This is natural and a God-given desire for godly women. They love the Lord and they see the amazing blessing that children are to them but some of their husbands don’t want more children. Then what? Obey your husband. Give your longings to the Lord and lay them at His feet. Love and appreciate the children you have been blessed with and trust in the Lord that His will will be done. Don’t nag and manipulate your husband for more. Be submissive in all things and learn contentment.
Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.
Psalm 127:3-5
39 thoughts on “Birth Control Violates Natural Law”
All of it promotes hook up culture and sex as a mere hobby or handshake rather than women being careful to only have sex once securely married.
Excellent thoughts. Yes on all points!
How is birth control and abortion increasing illegitimate births when both practices either prevent or destroy life?
I respect your view on birth control, although I differ from your stance. My wife and I have four children, and all but one are now adults. I mention this to be clear that I am not against having children. They are an incredible blessing. My position, when my wife and I were first married, was that we would wait to purposefully try to have children until we had a home, as opposed to an apartment. We didn’t need a fancy house, and in less than a year we had a small house and our first child on the way. To me, it was a smart decision. What would we have done if my wife became pregnant before we owned a home? Celebrated! Abortion is murder, plain and simple. And God would have provided, as He is faithful. I believe the heart is the most important matter and why a couple is choosing not to have children really matters. Just my thoughts. Again, I certainly respect your view of this subject as well.
Watch the movie “Unplanned.” The past director of Planned Parenthood tells how they were encouraged to hand out birth control pills like candy because it gives a false illusion to women that they are protected from an unplanned pregnancy. Very few women remember to take the pills every day, thus there are many more illegitimate births and abortions. Plus, no birth control is 100% foolproof.
People these days are taught that they must have all of their ducks in order before they have children. God never tells us this. In most past generations, couples got married and there were many honeymoon babies. These types of situations caused Christians to rely on God more and trust in Him.
Thank you for the explanation, that makes sense. Yes, I saw “Unplanned”-heartbreaking. I honestly don’t remember their discussion regarding bc pills, due to the horror of what was happening on the screen.
You’re right about birth control not being foolproof. I was at a gathering several years ago, and spoke to a young (ish) mom who’s birth control failed after she had 3 school-aged children and became pregnant with their 4th. She made it clear within the first seconds of conversation of her disappointment and warned anybody who’d listen of the lack of reliability of their doctor-prescribed means of bc while blessed with a beautiful, healthy baby. It was very sad. I hope this dear child doesn’t go through life feeling like a mistake or unwanted. Even when women tease about “the cutest oops ever”, I’m offended. I can’t imagine my life without each of my dear children and the contribution they individually make to our family.
I’m no expert, but have always been observant! I used to tell my friends that, based on my observation, the pill only seemed to be about 10% reliable. Naturally, they exploded into argument about how that was a lie. I said that nearly every women I knew that had an *unplanned pregnancy* was on the pill. Since they knew many of the same women, who told everyone they got pregnant while on the pill, it was hard to argue. Then, I said….”or, the women are intentionally skipping one or two in hopes of trapping the man into marriage. He’s dumb enough to think that she’s telling the truth about not wanting to get pregnant, hops into bed thinking he’s getting the best of everything, & then BOOM!, she’s one of the wee % that *accidentally* gets pregnant.” They don’t like that either. Then, if he can’t be coerced into playing house one way or the other, she gets an abortion much of the time, sometimes very late term. The ones that end up together are usually for just a short time. Thus another woman raising her child alone and the child (and society, of course) pay dearly for it. I don’t have enough fingers to count all the women I know that have told me they got pregnant while on the pill. In fact, I know only ONE who did not.
I’d say that’s probably even a lower rate than 10%. That one told me she had to stop taking it before she ended up in an asylum because the pill made her completely irrational & crazy.
Consequently, I see the pill as a scourge rather than a savior.
It absolutely is a scourge rather than a savior as Planned Parenthood wants to make women believe. Dr. Jolene Brighten has written a book called “Beyond the Pill” which explains how harmful it is to women. She’s not a Christian so she doesn’t have a Christian perspective but it has harmed women in numerous ways.
“And God would have provided, as He is faithful.” If this was your reasoning (which I agree with) why did you go against it at the time and wait. Or is this your current wisdom looking back.
Personally we would have missed out on our second child if a house was a mental necessity in our mind. Children are a blessing regardless of if one is in an apartment.
But we did believe the lie that one needed to wait and “have your ducks in a row. Chris, you’re very blessed as it cost us years of infertility and loss. I would never wish that on anyone. God’s Word is true children are a blessing full stop.
I’d also be cautious about saying anything that isn’t straight from scripture to any of your loved ones. While I was going through the years of infertility I remembered the loved ones who gave us the unGodly advice to wait (I didn’t want to) and in my immaturity it took years for me to truly forgive than for the lies we believed. Thankfully I loved them and I knew they loved me so we always got along but it was a private struggle I had.
The entire “Oh, this baby was a surprise,” etc. is due to the birth control mentality. Any couple having sex CAN end up pregnant. It’s a result of sex. It’s not a surprise or unplanned or any of the other silly things people use to describe the conception of a baby.
Absolutely true and it leads men to ‘expect’ women to be open to casual sex.
There’s a young woman I know very well and they have three small children in a two bedroom apartment and they can’t wait to have more! They understand the huge blessing that children are even if they don’t live in a home of their own.
Absolutely the whole mentality brought about by contraception is wrong. It regards children as an inconvenient ‘failure’ (of contraception) and sexual intimacy as an amoral recreational activity.
God means men and women to marry, married couples to be physically intimate and deigned that very special and morally significant act for them to join with him in creating new life. Contraception is a rejection of his purpose for marriage, for our sexuality and for us as women.
Beautiful and timely column, Lori.
As a native of California, one of the most wicked, covetous, lascivious, and deranged states in America, with people who love evil and hate good, this is the main issue that has kept me single at forty.
Since 95% of the marriageable women both believe in birth control, and defy a man’s authority in marriage, I prefer to literally live in the corner of a housetop, than with a brawling woman.
The women are often commonly attracted to brutes who abuse them, but despise gentlemen who actually display chivalry.
The women think of Godly men as aliens, and the worldly libertines are treated as royalty.
Admittedly, I was not perfect, however, my standards I followed always were. At no time did my departure from the path of purity give me peace or joy.
Birth control is destroying the church, the nation, and the family.
There are tens of millions of selfish men and women who selfishly reject Gods wisdom that sex was for marriage and children.
They do not realize they are tearing apart the legacy of selfless Americans, without which, few of us would be here, and we definitely would not enjoy the liberties we do.
“. . . Virtue, morality, and religion. This is the armor, my friend, and this alone that renders us invincible. These are the tactics we should study. If we lose these, we are conquered, fallen indeed . . . so long as our manners and principles remain sound, there is no danger.”
Patrick Henry
Children are a blessing far beyond what I was taught or expected. Many birth control methods are much less reliable and have much worse side effects than most people think.
Nevertheless, I am glad my husband and I waited to conceive until I finished treatment and was cured of an illness that would probably have meant death or a lifetime of illness for any children conceived while I was sick.
We used a symptothermal fertility awareness method to abstain from unprotected intercourse during my most fertile days. Then, when I was well and we wanted to get pregnant, we used the same method in reverse to increase our chances of getting pregnant.
I am not Catholic, but some Catholics believe that fertility awareness methods are morally acceptable and barrier or hormonal methods of birth control are not. Personally, I don’t see the difference (except in medical side effects). Either there’s a good reason to delay pregnancy, or there’s not.
Do you think there can ever be a good reason for an individual couple to delay pregnancy, even if overall fewer couples should do so?
I’m currently reading this book right now! It’s definitely true that the author is not a Christian in any sense of the word, but it’s a great resource detailing the effects of the pill.
Speaking as a Catholic I agree. If in his judgment there is a good reason to avoid or delay the chance of pregnancy then a Godly husband may decide to abstain from sex for a time.
But if the couple are intimate then in doing so they should simply submit to God’s design for them and his timing.
M,
I believe this was God’s will for my wife and I. By waiting, albeit a short time, we were to honor God by not going into unnecessary debt. It was not to have an abundance, as we barely had enough, having to sell a vehicle and walk to the store due to tight finances. It allowed my wife to stay home with our children, something that would be questionable if we didn’t have our little three bedroom home, with no basement. I realize some may not agree, but I believe this was God’s plan for us. And He blessed us with four precious children. I don’t mean to be argumentative, and really respect differences of opinion. I simply believe the heart is the real issue. If people are avoiding children out of selfishness, that is a problem. The ducks will never be aligned in a row. I worked seven days a week to provide, and it was worth it. But I never had all my ducks in a row.
By the way, feel free to ask additional questions or present a difference of opinion. It makes me think and causes me to go back to scripture to reconsider my theology, either reenforcing it or causing me to change.
I teach English for a living. I was chatting with a young Chinese lady who brings her 4 year old to my class 4 times week. She was of astounding beauty and grace, especially when she cares for her 4 year old boy as a full time mother. Yesterday, she told me that when she returns to China last week of December, she is never coming back. She plans to get a career and make herself worthy of society. It has always been her goal. She admitted to me that when she had her boy, she was regretful and even hostile towards him, as she felt that she had to give up her career because of him. So she even hired a caretaker. She felt worthless staying home all day. Upon hearing these words, the beauty and grace that she commands dissipated. At that point, I realize that God bestow upon young full time mothers who commit to their home, a kind of beauty, grace and respect that cannot be found anywhere else. I know that she does not need the money, as her husband is wealthy enough to send her boy and her overseas here just to study pre-school education and have private english lessons. She does not realize the kind of insecurity she has built in her child with her mentality. As the world becomes more globalised, pace of change becoming faster than ever, a generation of children without proper parenting will only lead of a generation of emotionally and relationally unstable children and hence adults. The cycle repeats and worsens.
Genuinely curious, do you have issue with barrier methods and natural family planning as well, or just hormonal birth control? Do you believe any form of birth control is sinful?
We had our first 3 children in 3 years, while I was exclusively breastfeeding. We plan on having more, but right now we’re using a barrier method to give us a “breather” before the next baby. We KNOW barrier methods are not 100% effective, and if we became pregnant, we would view the child as a blessing.
We’re so fertile that if we did nothing to control spacing pregnancies, I’m almost certain we would end up with 20 children by the time I hit menopause. This is an area of our marriage where we have struggled to fully understand God’s will for us.
Sorry, Julia. I meant that as a comment to Lori’s article and not a reply to you. I hit the wrong “comment” button. 🙂
As a 42 (closer to 43) year old mother expecting my 5th child next month, I am so grateful for the blessings God has given to my husband and I. God is so faithful! My husband was satisfied with stopping after 2. Those years of yearning for more little ones were tough. I never nagged for more, but I know that my husband knew the desire of my heart. God certainly did and provided peace. I look back when we had just 2, and those were the hardest years with a lot of turmoil. Later, God surprised us with a third, and three years ago my husband showed a desire for a fourth, and God granted us that blessing! Number 5 is so anticipated! I am so undeserving of such an honor. I tell my husband that it seems that the more children we have, the more peace there is in our home. It is so beautiful to see God work his wonders! He never fails.
Took it for years to treat hair loss, acne and period pain. Never really helped me with said issues.
It’s tragic how many women have fallen for the lie that their career is more important than their children and it is causing devastating consequences upon societies.
“The women are often commonly attracted to brutes who abuse them, but despise gentlemen who actually display chivalry.
The women think of Godly men as aliens, and the worldly libertines are treated as royalty.”
As a 58 year old widower, I can testify to the truth of that statement. I have been a widower for several years and thought that women near my age would have some spiritual and mental maturity. Unfortunately I have not found that to be true. I have heard numerous women, BOTH Christian and unsaved women, say they they are looking for a “bad boy” that will treat them nice. They often already have several children to several different bad boy daddies but still want a bad boy who will be good to them and treat everyone else mean. Meanwhile they tell me I am too reliable, too dull, too boring because I work to provide for a family and I don’t use drugs or alcohol and party.
“M” wonderful to read and for me very heartening as I am 41 with 4 children and am praying to be blessed again.
Hi Sarah – speaking for us as Catholic (not necessarily Lori !). We firmly believe that any artificial means of contraception (or any deliberate act intended to prevent conception) is gravely sinful, and hold to the traditionalist (undiluted and un polluted by feminist influence) view that NFP is acceptable ONLY if a) the couple have a very serious prayerful reason to avoid a pregnancy (serious health problems for example), b) more complete abstinence would be likely to lead to greater sin (divorce or adultery for example) and c) any periodic abstinence aimed at avoiding pregnancy is mutually and prayerfully acceptable to both husband and wife.
Of course it is open to the husband as head of the family, (with a view to his duty to protect and care for his wife family) to decide to abstain for a more protracted time, if he believes that a further pregnancy would go against the welfare of his family.
Thanks for your thoughts, Susanne. I hemorrhaged during my last delivery and was told I need to wait at least 18 months until my next pregnancy to give my body time to heal. But we’re still wrestling with what we’ll do when we hit that 18 month mark. This is the longest I’ve gone without being pregnant since we were married.
If you wouldn’t mind, could you give me some scriptural references that lead you to uphold the view that birth control is sinful? I know of Psalm 127:3-5 and the story of Onan in Genesis 38 but am unaware of other passages to consider. Thanks 🙂
“The Church taught against birth control for years, before it became widely accepted in the churches, because it valued children. What happened?”
What happened, in part, is that in 1853 the Sacred Congregation For the Doctrine Of the Faith of the Roman Catholic Church approved “NFP” as a “less immoral” way to enjoy sexual intercourse without procreation than the ever-popular Onanism.
NFP was then what later came to be called “rhythm,” scheduled abstinence, abstinence from sexual intercourse during the wife’s fertile period, which is approximately the five days preceding ovulation.
This was the contraceptive method promoted by the Manichaeans, gnostics also known as “Manichees.”
The “adepts” of the Manichees did not marry or have sex at all. This was their ideal. But for novices who were not ready to do without sexual relations, the scheduled abstinence method of preventing conception was allowed and taught.
From a “less immoral” contraceptive method to full acceptance and even recommendation to newlyweds by pastors took over seventy years, when the Protestant Episcopal Church (Church Of England) gave in and allowed contraception in general.
From there to legalization of abortion and euthanasia didn’t take long. Now infanticide is being legalized.
@sarah brown
Genesis 30:1+2 says, “And when
Rachel saw that she bare Jacob no children, Rachel envied her sister; and said unto Jacob, Give me children, or else I die. And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb”?
The word ‘stead’ means, “the place or role that someone or something should have or fill (used in referring to a substitute)”. This verse, which is pre-mosaic law, testifies that it is God’s place and/or role in giving and withholding children.
In Romans 12:1, We are called to present our bodies as a living sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is our reasonable service (paraphrased kjv).
If God, who is the Author of life, gave His body to die on the cross for us, then it is only our “reasonable service” that we give our bodies to live for Him. “…. the fruit of the womb is his reward” (Ps 127:3).
“Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths”. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
(btw, I used to babysit for a woman named Sarah Brown but I doubt you’re her, lol)
Many forms of contraception can also cause early abortions. Also, a wife is not bound to obey when commanded to self harm. “Take contraceptives” is equivalent to “Take poison to cause a physical disability “.
Lori,
I am reading this book right now. My doctor put me on birth control for my terrible periods. It helped me so much, but I HATED it. I stayed on it for 2 months and then took myself off. Yes, it was WONDERFUL having normal cycles with manageable cramps, but it made me a monster. Compassion has always been a gift God gave me. When I was taking BC, I would look at people and just wish they would shut up. I had a rage inside me and would get extremely angry over silly things. This is NOT my natural personality. I am very passive and easy-going and extremely slow to anger. It completely changed who I was and I was terrified to think of what it was doing to my body that I couldn’t see. I truly believe BC is one of the worst things a woman can do to herself and her body. I grabbed the book you mentioned in hopes that it will help me with a more natural route.
-Annie
Hi, Lori.
I appreciate the wisdom in this post. I believe we as young people have so much to learn from our elders. I wrote you an email and I have been waiting for your response regarding the best method a couple can plan their family and space their children.
Hello. I just found this site, not sure if this is right thing to ask but I need some help. Me and my wife have 5 beautiful children and a healthy ‘intimate’ life We don’t think we want more children but dont want to use contracepptions I can’t talk to our church about this it’s awkward. I would like to try stuff where I cant get her pregnant. Sorry this is embarrassing. Not my real name. Help?
Natural Family Planning is the only one I would recommend. The only possible side effect is a baby.
Can I speak openly here? Natural damily planning? Don’t want the idea of condoms or more baby’s. So you mean only when my wife is near her period or not inside? Sorry to be rude. I like youre page lots to read here.
It’s your decision to make, not mine. You simply asked for my opinion so I gave it.
Amen! My story is almost exactly like yours. My husband was against having more after 3. But we “accidentally” got pregnant and had a 4th. After number 4 I asked if we could have more and he was irritated with my pleading so I decided not to ask anymore. At the same time my 4 year old daughter started praying breakfast lunch and dinner and at bedtime for another baby. She had been praying for a year and a half when I found out I was pregnant! My husband was happy and loves baby number 5 as he loves all of them! With each child, I feel our family bonds grow stronger, our marriage stronger, and that we spend time and resources more wisely. I also feel like with each addition, we are drawn closer to Christ and His Church and are less drawn to material goods and pleasures. We are Asian American and most AAs only have one or two and at the most 3. Our parents’ friends are all shocked when they find out how many children we have. Sadly, most of my parents’ friends (all in their late 60s or 70s already) have only one or two or no grandchildren. It’s because most of their daughters are career women—mostly physicians.
I remember feeling angry (during the time when my husband was against having more) about our society’s birth control mentality and it’s pervasive influence on the church, so much so that even Christians don’t question how unbiblical it is. And how that influence affected my husband and my family size. NChurch’s don’t talk about it ever—in fact most church leaders use and encourage birth control themselves! Thank you Lori for continuing to be a lone voice in this area. I’m glad you repeatedly bring up this issue! Since I had a baby 5 months ago I had not been on your blog for a while so I have been catching up and reading older posts, like this one!