Do Feminists Destroy the Family?

Do Feminists Destroy the Family?

“When I was a feminist I didn’t understand: ‘feminists destroy the family.’ Science progressed. I worked 70+ hr weeks, checking experiments at 3 am, in lab at Christmas….My friends had children. Now they have families and I have publications. Don’t make my mistake” (Rachel Bock).

This is a sad story being told over and over again by older women who believed the feminist lie and lived it out. I realize that many, many women are daily angry with me for what I write because it is so foreign to them and against everything they have been taught. And how dare I say that what I teach is God’s good, and acceptable, and perfect will for them! I can’t possibly know every situation of every woman to make this bold claim, or do I?

I started a chat room years ago and it has hundreds of Christian women in it. Some of them must work full time. Others were never able to have children. Some even have a ton of student loan debt that keeps them away from their children. Some divorced their husbands because they weren’t “happy” but I want to tell you that all of these women know, without a doubt, that God’s ways are good, and acceptable, and perfect. The ones who work would like nothing better than to be home full time. Those who are infertile would love to be able to be a mother. The ones with student loan debt deeply regret digging themselves in such a hole. The divorced women grieve over their past behavior and decisions now that they understand their fault in the divorce.

How have feminists destroyed the family? As Rachel wrote, she thought she was pursuing the ultimate feminist dream – higher education and a well paying career. In her pursuit of these things, she failed to pursue the things that really matter – a family. This is the story frequently being told by women who were once feminists and regret their decisions terribly. While they were busy making money, their friends were busy growing a family.

I greatly appreciate these women who are bold enough to admit this. They are admitting this in hopes of keeping young women from making the same mistakes as they did, as I admit my lack of submission towards my husband for many years in hopes of keeping young women from doing likewise. I want them to build their homes up instead of tearing their homes down.

NOTHING feminism has taught women builds a good marriage and family. Nothing. It does the opposite. It has pitted men against women and wives against husbands. It’s promoted a woman’s “choice” which simply means the ability to have one’s own baby murdered in their womb, sleep with multiple men, and choose careers over investing in a family.

One woman asked if I am fighting for laws to make women obey what I teach. No, and I never will. I teach God’s will for women as clearly explained in Titus 2:3-5. What a woman does with what I teach is up to them. Search the Scriptures, women. God is very clear on His will for you.

God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land.
Psalm 68:6

28 thoughts on “Do Feminists Destroy the Family?

  1. I am a man in his early 30s. For the past few years, I have given up on finding a godly woman even in church. I gave up on marriage as the modern women seem so strange to me. I’m attracted to and still go on dates but there’s no one I find whom I can feel secure and confident to entrust the commitment of marriage. The more years that passes, the worse it gets.

    I speak English and mandarin with equal fluency, hence I tried to abandon the western culture and went far east, China, in search. But it is the same there, as economically they are very driven and developed. I determined in my heart to keep myself pure the past 2 years. Several women liked me, including full time female ministers and worship leaders, but they themselves do not believe in sexual purity. One female minister led the whole congregation worship and immediately, got off the stage and jumped into a man’s car and had sex, a man whom she just met few hours ago. She was proud of it.

    Every night I wonder to the Lord will I ever meet a real christian woman. Sometimes I tear thinking about it. Then I chanced upon your blog and started reading everything. For once in years, I felt at least a bit of hope. The joy in my heart when I shout This is the kind I wanna marry”. My discouragement only strengthened the temptations in my daily life but your blog gave me encouragement and vision and strengthen me against temptations. This is a real woman whom man would feel the security and confidence to commit all that he has to her and build something amazing for His glory!

  2. There will always be a remnant, John, of those who are wholly devoted to the Lord and His ways. Keep praying and seeking. Make sure they agree with what I write before marrying them! 🙂 In this way, you’ll know that you aren’t marrying a feminist.

  3. I am a feminist and feminism actually has been a blessing to my life. While I wish I could have stayed home with my children when they were preschoolers, I was not able to do so. I had to work whether or not feminism had ever existed. Because of feminism, I was paid a salary that we could live on. Because of feminism, my employer could not fire me in order to give my job to a man, or if I married or became pregnant. Because of feminism, my employer could not reject me simply because I was female. My grandmother was widowed in 1929. She had three small children and because she did not have the protections that I enjoyed, her family suffered greatly. My mother was sent to live with relatives for part of each year because her mother could not adequately provide for her. My children are Christians and they had a happy life growing up. Although I worked, I was very involved in their lives. I was a room mom, went on field trips, taught Sunday School, spent hours each week reading books and playing with my kids. We had daily devotions and were very involved in church. I know you will not publish this because it doesn’t fit your narrative, but there are many families like mine that have experienced the positive effects of feminism.

  4. Hi Julia,

    I am sure there are many women who could say the same things as you did. The problem is that feminism has caused many women to be put into your situation. Whether it be from the huge amount of student loan debt, divorcing their husbands for reasons that are unbiblical, choosing to be single and have children without a father (single motherhood is at record numbers and is proven to be devastating to children – you must admit this!), and having careers that make so much money that they would feel guilty if they quit. Of course, people suffered in the days before feminism but many are suffering now too. Feminism hasn’t cured suffering. Children are suffering terribly now from broken homes, being raised by strangers, and having to raise themselves alone in many cases.

    People in the generations before feminism and technology suffered physical hardships. Our generations suffer emotionally and mentally from the lack of closeness of relationships/families (mothers not at home, couples not staying married). Feminism has caused the breakdown of the family.

    Feminism has led to the slaughter of 63 millions babies. It has led to higher depression and suicide rates in women than ever before. It’s led to many men not even wanting to marry women anymore. It’s led to bigger and more intrusive government regulations and control.

    No, Julia, just because you look at your life and think feminism has made your life better, I encourage you to look at the bigger picture and see the great harm that it has done for many, especially the children. I am sure your children suffered from lack of a father and a full-time mother in their lives. Surely, you can see that children are much better off with full-time mothers and parents being married.

    I will continue to teach God’s will since it is good, and acceptable, and perfect. Feminism has fought against God’s ways from the beginning and it began with Eve who thought she knew better than God.

  5. I appreciate your response to the comment celebrating feminism. I did it ALL wrong and, I appreciate your blog for opening my eyes. I wouldn’t have considered myself a feminist my actions and behavior supported the feminist agenda.

    I now desire to do what’s right but I’m not sure where to start. I struggle with submitting to my husband (non-Christian), parenting my kids and homemaking while working a full time job outside of the home, and then there’s the student loan debt I’m slowly tackling. It’s all overwhelming at times to know how far I’ve strayed from the path.

    I’m surrounded by women who are basically living this same lifestyle. I yearn to change things around but I don’t know where to begin. Although my husband provides for our family, he’s comfortable with our lifestyle and wants me to continue working.

    I feel out of sorts since becoming aware of this truth. I look forward to reading your blog each day; it’s full of the wisdom and encouragement I wish I’d received from my own mother.

  6. Honestly I feel the same but I am a woman. I feel like I am the most vulnerable in comparison to a man. I’d love to find a faithful hisband to love and submit to for the rest of my life but at what stake? At what risk? If he divorces me, I’m left to fend for my self. Even if I get “half” (what money would I get a lawyer with?), unless he’s worth a lot of money, that’s not enough to live off of for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t even be the top choice to be hired with no education, no previous work experience, and no input to retirement or social security. I would be at the complete mercy of a man to either make my life wonderful or miserable and that is just to much at stake. I understand a man not want to lose half because for me, I am being asked to put my entire future in the hands of someone else. That is just too much to risk sometimes.

  7. All feminism has done is raised generations of women who are insecure, emotional, immature and selfish. When I hear feminists complain about something like the “wage gap” all I can think of are her poor kids (hopefully she doesn’t see motherhood as optional) and how her sons are most likely ignored and her daughters are probably being raised to hate femininity and themselves. I know I would’ve been much happier in school if femininity was something that was praised. I feel so bad for all the girls who just want to be wives and mothers and are told that that’s not modern enough and that they need to think like a “girl boss”.

  8. I think the meaning of feminism has changed so much over the centuries. What once might have been a synonym to Godly femininity is now so rebellious to our original design. I think even now it carries different meanings for different women. One woman could say it is her right in terms of citizenship or go out in public without a male escort. To another it could be her “right” to abort a baby. Women’s issues are such delicate subject matters in this generation. I’m so glad to have the Titus 2 women step up and lead my generation back to God.

  9. I have never lived my life by the “what ifs…?” Amy. We are to walk by faith and not by fear. I never even thought about my husband leaving me when I married him. I trusted he would stay with me but I mostly simply trusted God. The way your marriage is has a lot to do with you. Are you willing to build your home up by being kind, loving, and submissive towards your husband if you get married?

  10. Commit the matter to prayer daily, Niti. Read The Tightwad Gazette and learn to live as simply as possible and pay down that debt as soon as possible. Pray that your husband will be convicted and change his mind about you coming home and that God will give him the wisdom to do what is best for the family. Dave Ramsey is a good one to learn from too, about paying off debt.

  11. Lori,
    Thank you for referencing Eve, because this rebellion n women orginated with her. I am a Bible believing woman and I know so many other Christian ladies that are so destructive in their marriages and relationships with their husbands and families. It almost always comes back to that desire to be over men. We complain, argue and are generally hard to please. It causes so much discord in the home. Which is satan’s strategy all along.

  12. I would also be interested in knowing if any of her children have suffered from homosexual tendencies. It may sound funny, but that is a seed planted in most single households or families of divorce. I struggled personally when my mother left us and by the grace of God my life was turned around, but I look back and see exactly where the seed was planted. I was without a mother and I found an affection in other girls. It was wicked and sick. Some people become promiscuous with other men but we are noticing a rise in homosexuality like never before. I have male friends that longed for their father and were either raped or just turned to other boys and that is how the seed was planted. No one talks about these things, but it is true. I sadly lived it but God delivered me.

  13. That’s right. For her desire shall be for her husband…she will want to rule over him. This is the cause of most unhappy marriages and divorces. NOTHING works with two leaders.

  14. Wise words. That does not diminish the input of a Godly wife. It allows God’s perfect plan to bring peace to a home.

  15. Feminism and feminist dogma has acted to weaken and destroy the family and pervert the role of women within society and the family at every possible level.

  16. I agree feminism has pretty much destroyed the home and how some men view women. Many of them feel all women want to be treated like men. Allow me to vent for a minute. I was at Dollar Tree this morning to buy some Christmas plates. I walked in and there were no carts available so I had to carry ten plates. The line for checkout was long with only one cashier. I got in line behind a man who had two items in his cart. A box of Christmas cards and a small decoration. The plates were getting very heavy and I have osteoarthritis not to mention I’m not a young woman. I was really hoping this guy who was old enough to know better would offer me his cart. He didn’t. I even stepped over slightly to look at some candy that was in the aisle. Nope! He glanced at me and didn’t offer his cart. Thankfully another line opened up but I was so irritated with him. I’m thinking “Didn’t his mama teach him manners?” Please understand. I didn’t feel I was entitled as a woman to have him offer me his cart or at the very least offer to let me set my dishes down in his cart. If I were a man I would have felt the same way.

    I’m just really annoyed with feminists. Because of their wanting careers and fighting for their equal right to be treated like men, they are not home teaching their daughters to be ladies( especially Biblically) and their sons to be gentlemen.

    Thank you Lori for this post.

  17. You’re welcome, Regina. It’s important to teach our children to keep their eyes open and be considerate of other people. Common courtesy has been lost in our culture since many children aren’t being raised by their own mothers. We can’t expect strangers to teach our children these things.

  18. Good article that shows how abandoning sexual morality leads to the destruction of society in three generations. We are living through the effects of it now. But the Bible has many examples in Judges, Kings, and Chronicles what happens to a society that turns away from God and his Commandments. People need to understand what has led us to this point so that we can change course and repent as a society.

  19. That is the typical ‘christian’ feminist response – to brag about how she can “have it all” to compete with her husband and show off her marriage, family, and career.

    You need to repent because you are false convert.

  20. I know a woman who was in a similar situation. She desperately wanted to come home, but her husband loved the income. I committed to pray for her as she was as well. We put her on our regular prayer list and prayed weekly for her. I encouraged her to go to her husband and tell him she wanted to put all of her efforts into his home rather than her boss’s work. Within a couple months she was downsized and lost her job. At first she was looking for another job while my children and I were seeing it as an answer to prayer and rejoicing. She approached her husband and asked again if she could come home.

    Her husband agreed to let her try it. She got cookbooks, and a cleaning schedule and went full at it. It has only been a couple months but I see her posting awesome meals on FB.

    Fast and pray. Beg God. He hears the cry of His people! And meanwhile, do the very best you can to follow Scripture and have a SAHM attitude. Seek to please him in all you do. But seriously spend time fasting and praying! If the heart of the king is in the hand of the Lord, your husband’s heart is as well!

  21. I was telling my children recently how when I was in school girls were taught in home-ec that their contribution to the household was to be frugal with the money their husbands brought home. My, how times have changed in only 40 years! They recognized femininity as a good thing, and feminism as bad. Feminism was around back then, as it always been, but culture wasn’t as in your face about it, so most schools still applauded SAHMs, and taught how to be one.

  22. Of course it does!

    I too used to call myself a feminist before coming to a realization about the up and coming generations of adults and parents. I wanted to know why the quality of individuals was declining. Was it media? Bad parenting? Well…both.

    Having 2 working parents in the home instead of 1 surely must have contributed. You simply didn’t see the issues today when the mothers prioritized their families. Even my own sister suffers greatly because my mother is a workoholic who will and often does put career advancement at the forefront of her life. That is above family. Her clients are her real children.

    Feminism encouraged women to want and “have it all”, abandon their children, be working women, have children and get married later in life (leading to fertility issues), and to believe men are the enemy. It is everywhere in mass media brainwashing new generations and the parents are too busy working to notice what the children are exposed to.

    And if younger people want to follow in this path…be ready to be subjected to hate. Traditionalism is the new rebellion.

  23. You blocked me on instagram, I’m not sure why, when I was just trying to post health discussion over helping vulnerable people. Not once did I say I disagree with you on what you preach. I agree with this blog post. I can say I agree because I am a working mother and wife, and it’s hard. I feel my best on weekends when I have been home with my child, making home cooked meals, and doing what I need to do to make life living space the best for all of us. What is a shame is that it’s not an option for people to have a single income household anymore. We need my income for all of the Bill’s, which means someone else gets the pleasure of raising my child.

  24. I have no idea why I blocked you, Misty, but Instagram is my one social media account that I keep as cleaned up as possible, meaning I don’t want contention to be a part of it.

  25. This is a nice blog. The problem is that history repeats itself. The problem is in a society where men are not needed, men just opt out.

    The rise of movements like the Red Pill and MGTOW are here to stay. Their impact is felt everywhere with marriage and birth decline. Theres a shortage of men for marriage , well women wanted the freedom, women wanted to exercise their hypergamy, divorce rape has become a sport. Women want to sleep around with the alphas and settle with betas, then they lose their ability to pairbond and stay in long term relationships. They get bored and long for the hoe life and they destroy and hurt everyone around them.
    Women have too much power but no responsibility, men are informed, they see it online, they hear horror stories of divorse. Why would any man commit to a narcissistic, entitled slut? MGTOW is here to stay.

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