Blaming the Purity Culture For Fornication and Guilt

Blaming the Purity Culture For Fornication and Guilt

A man who goes by @GenealogyofAdam on Twitter wrote the following: “I’ve noticed a trend that many people complaining about ‘purity culture’ are really just complaining about Christian sexual ethics, and it almost exclusively seems to be women.”

One man responded: “Purity culture in itself sounds like a great idea on paper, but in reality it can be extremely toxic and lead to far worse things. I am an example of this. I grew up in it and held an extreme porn addiction for most of middle, high school, and college.”

@GenealogyofAdam responded: “I mean pretty much every guy today has or has had a porn addiction. I don’t think you can blame purity culture for that.”

Man responds: “True in ways, but I am not blaming purity culture on the whole. I am blaming the way the church takes purity culture (not all churches) and says that any sexual thoughts, actions, etc. are wrong which is what leads men to porn a lot in the church.”

Adam responds: “I mean it’s simply a fact that sexual thoughts that could lead one to fornication are wicked and must be resisted, and any sexual activity outside of marriage is wrong. Affirming the truth isn’t what drives men to porn, rather it’s men being unable to resist temptation.”

Man: “It’s not the act. It’s the guilt for even thinking it to a lot of people within the church. It isn’t about staying pure anymore, as bad as that sounds. They guilt people which is where a lot of the problems with the ‘purity culture’ stands.”

Adam: “One shouldn’t feel guilty for having impure thoughts, but rather for acting on them. Guilt has its place.”

I agree with Adam for the most part, but any impure thoughts need to be taken captive to the obedience of Christ. They need to be quickly kicked out and replaced with Truth. The more we practice doing this, the easier it will become.

Many hated the entire purity culture. They felt that once they had sex, they were “dirty” according to what they were taught. Let’s see what God’s Word has to say about it. “Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18). “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge” (Hebrews 13:4). There are MANY more verses about this topic, but I will stick with these two for now.

God clearly states that when one fornicates, they are sinning against their own body. Fornication has caused devastation in many, many lives. It has led to STDs, infertility, abortion, heartbreak, divorce mentality, and broken lives. God speaks strongly against fornication. The purity culture did too. They wanted to warn young people of the danger ahead if they participated in fornication.

We are also taught that we are to keep the marriage bed undefiled. This includes singles before marriage. Any fornication before marriage is defiling the marriage bed. Many, many have shared the troubles they have in the marriage bed due to prior fornication. It causes many couples to not enjoy the sexual intimacy which should be fantastic, because it has been marred deeply by fornication. I don’t believe anyone should try to water down the severe consequences to the young about fornication.

Yes, God forgives. Yes, people who have committed fornication can find healing in Christ, but that doesn’t mean that they won’t suffer consequences of their sin while in this life. Warn the young people about the pain and suffering fornication brings. Teach them the beauty of sex within the bonds of marriage. Teach your children that their desire should be to glorify God in everything! Let this be their measuring stick for everything in life. The only place where any sexual activity glorifies God is in the marriage bed. Everything else is sin and causes a lot of suffering. God’s boundaries are for our good.

Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.
1 Corinthians 7:2

8 thoughts on “Blaming the Purity Culture For Fornication and Guilt

  1. It’s never ones’ own fault we sin. There is always someone else to blame. “The Devil made me do it.” Or it’s the heavy burden of the “purity culture”. Or “it’s this woman you gave me”, spoken by Adam. Nevertheless God expects us to follow Him no matter our detractors. On judgement day no one will be able to foist their sin on another person. Jesus alone can absolve us. So if we are relying on others to take the responsibility for our sin it ain’t going to go well for us.

  2. Before we married, my husband and I committed the ultimate sin of fornication. The guilt we felt was awful. Admitting to my parents was terrible. Our pastor grilled us with questions, wanting to know intimate details. It was humiliating. I still remember it thirty plus years later.

  3. Fornication is not the ultimate sin. Unbelief is the ultimate sin; the only sin that will keep you out of eternal life with Jesus Christ. Your pastor was so wrong! He didn’t need to know an intimate details. Remind yourself that all of your sins were nailed to the cross, and you are forgiven.

  4. Hi Lori, so glad to see the comments back up, your blog is such a blessing to many of us! Ironically, our pastor’s lesson this morning was from 1 Thessalonians Ch. 4 that addresses sexual immorality and fornication. We are to control our own bodies in a way that is holy and honorable. and pleasing to God.

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