God “Calls” Many Women to Work Outside the Home?
There is an article written called Is it Better For Moms to Stay at Home? I enjoyed the article until the author wrote about it being good and fine for mothers to work outside of the home even though she chose to be home with her children because she felt guilty while she was working. She admitted that she was missing too much of their lives.
“And God calls many women to work outside the home — even those who have small children.” Oh, really??? God calls them to this? Where in the Word does she find this? Women don’t seem to understand that if they aren’t keepers at home they are blaspheming the Word of God (Titus 2:5). Yes, I realize this isn’t a popular thing to teach nowadays, but I don’t care about being popular. I care about teaching the truth of God’s Word and all of the children who aren’t being raised by their own mothers.
Lindsay Harold (a wise, young woman) responded: “We have adopted the idea of ‘calling’ as some inner feeling or impression God gives to individuals to show them what they should do with their lives. Christianity adopted that unBiblical idea many years ago. But if that’s how we’re supposed to find out what God wants us to do, then anyone can claim they were ‘called’ to do what they are doing, no matter how unBiblical it is. All they need is an inner feeling. If you start with that shaky foundation, then it’s no stretch to claim that some women are ‘called’ to leave their children and have a career.”
Many women today are “called” into the ministry to leave their homes, stand behind pulpits, and preach the Word of God with many men in attendance. Many women are “called” to divorce their husbands. Many women are “called” to do whatever they “feel” like doing as long as it makes them happy. NO! We are CALLED to obey the clear commands from God’s perfect and unchanging Word.
One woman named Vanessa commented on the post above with these words and I sadly believe that many women who call themselves “Christian” feel the same way: “Did God want me to be home? NO! My job is to help other mothers whose kids have behavior problems and/or were even trying to kill themselves.. that was much more important than watching blues clue, wiping drool, and making casseroles.
In fact, I loved going back to work; it was the balance I needed. And sitting back and watching the stay-at-home church moms with their kids.. did I want that life?? Noooo! not one bit. Their husbands seemed burdened financially at times, expected too much of their wives at home and with the kids since they weren’t working, their conversation seemed glued to all things child and domesticated, and their kids often were more ill-behaved.
And as I kept watching, I actually spent more one-to-one time each day with my kids when I did get home than they did in the whole day. My husband helped out more and my kids learned no meant no not because I said so.. but so did their other caretakers .. so they had more respect for me. And I also still felt I was helping kids in my community.. it was so worth it. I never and I repeat never regretted it.
And even though we had plenty of income for me to stay home I am pretty sure I would have lost my mind living in toddlerville day after day. And I also have more respect for men than to think they should be solely responsible for paying the bills. God gave me a brain and abilities just the same as him to earn an income. And men are more than capable of doing most all the childcare and household jobs too..and it is better shared.
Please stop trying to guilt trip women who work or presume they do so because they have to.. no most us of realize the toddler years are few and life goes on..and now they are grown and gone and me and the hubs are free to keep working and life is still going on. There is always the next stage of your kids’ lives to enjoy so quit telling yourselves you would miss something. And please stop thinking your service to God is only to be found in your home or as a mother.. little of that was true for the women who followed Christ in his day and it still isn’t… as you serve Christ make a difference in your world.. your kids will respect you and learn the most from that!!”
Did you notice she failed to use one Bible verse in her comments? Her and many others like her value their intelligence and “wisdom” above the Word which instructs younger women to be keepers at home. I receive comments similar to Vanessa’s frequently. Women are deceived just as Eve was deceived and they go their own way, not caring about pleasing or obeying the Lord at all.
Lindsay Harold added:
“The rationale for many women whenever anyone brings up staying home goes something like this:
1) I like my job and making an income and not being stuck with my kids all day doing boring stuff.
2) Staying home can’t be better than having a career because I don’t stay home and I think I’m a decent person.
3) Claiming a woman staying home is better than having a career means they’re saying I’m not a good person and not doing the best for my kids.
4) Cue being offended and getting defensive at this point. Notice that their rationale begins and ends with what sounds good to them and their own view of themselves. It doesn’t start with the scriptures.”
For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.
1 Timothy 2:3, 4
18 thoughts on “God “Calls” Many Women to Work Outside the Home?”
Vanessa doesn’t sound like a Christian, though I realize her beliefs are very common among believers nowadays. Standard feminist Christianity. She’s proud.
By her own admission, Vanessa believes taking care of her own children is beneath her. A boring and frivolous job that anyone can do and even that it’s better off done by others than by a child’s own mother. She doesn’t just devalue other mothers but herself as a mother as well.
She doesn’t want to be burdened with that role. And she doesn’t want anybody to point it out to her or anyone else who believes as she does, lest they be “guilt tripped.”
“Wiping drool” and “making casseroles” couldn’t possibly be done to the glory of God, even if other mothers are called to it. She believes stay at home mothers are less important than her.
Paid work is the only appreciated work, the only valuable work. She says herself she could have stayed home. It wasn’t good enough for her, and she was too good for it.
Vanessa says to working mothers, “Quit telling yourselves you would miss something.” She doesn’t know what they’re missing! I saw the very moment my infant daughter laid eyes on her toes for the first time. She was transfixed! The next day she couldn’t stop grabbing them. I didn’t miss that moment either. Moments that left me in awe. The wonder and fascination that God instilled into my baby as she recognizes the world around her. It’s simple. It’s beautiful. It matters. And too many mothers are missing out. It’s sad for the mothers and their children.
Do I feel important after changing several diapers per day for many months now? Or for wiping drool, spit up, changing soiled outfits, spreading ointments on rashes, brushing out cradle cap flakes, sunctioning boogers, clearing goopy eyes, clipping fingernails during naps, sopping up leaked breast milk…
Does it matter if I feel important? No.
Raising a little person isn’t glamorous. I don’t “feel called” to it. I’m not earning an income for it because “God gave me a brain and abilities.” I became pregnant with my baby and if for no other reason than biology, I am designed to raise them once they’re born. I wouldn’t outsource my pregnancy and neither would I outsource my parental responsibility. Sure, anyone could raise my child. It’s common, but that doesn’t mean it’s natural.
Vanessa has to devalue motherhood and trivialize child care so she can justify finding her self worth in a paycheck and accolades. It saddens me she has believed the lies and encourages others to do the same. They will never get back that lost time with their children, nor have they been refined in the way God designed for them to be.
Amen; good post. God does not call women to do that which is contrary to His will as stated in the Bible. Too many women exalt their feelings above the settled truth of God’s word, which doesn’t hesitate to tell us how foolish it is to trust our own hearts, because they are deceitful above all things and desperately wicked {Proverbs 28:26; Jeremiah 17:9}.
Lori,
Many are called. Few are chosen.
And we wonder why so many children are messed up today.
*hugs*
Kelley~
Thank you for this post, Mrs. Lori. I loved what Lindsay Harold said about our modern definition of “calling.” This is so true and reminds us of how we need to get back to God’s Word and what God says. He really couldn’t make it any clearer for us women.
What isn’t mentioned in her post is that some woman (the other caretaker) IS living in toddlerville with her child so that Vanessa can leave and do something else. Does she think that this woman has less of a career than her own that she left her child in order to do? If not, then why is it not ok for the child’s mom to do it herself? When my children were born, I didn’t want to pay someone else to do what I wanted to do – that is, to be with my children. It wasn’t easy, and this isn’t about feeling guilty, it’s about who is best at taking care of my child. Yes, those medical careers are important, but who says I have to be the one to do them? I quit a rewarding career in physical therapy to stay home, and someone else was hired in my place. But there is only one mom to my child, and that’s me. Every woman has a choice in what she decides to do, and some may not have an option, but I brought a child into the world, and someone HAS to be with them (they can’t very well be left alone), & so I’m glad that I get to be the one. I am uncomfortable when people say that they would go crazy staying home with their children, as if we are victims and have no choice in how we deal with difficult situations.
I’m just curious about your opinion then of the Proverbs 31 woman? She considers a field and buys it and with her earnings (made from work I assume) she plants a vineyard? She also trades and makes linens to sell and sashes for the merchants?
Love this reply. I never felt anything other than blessed to be at home with my girls and so thankful for the opportunity to know that I was pouring into them the Word of God and lots of on-site mommy love. It was a precious time that I was able to give freely to my daughters. Now that they are mothers, neither of them stay at home with their children….and I’m sad about that for them.
I was blessed to be able to stay at home for all of my oldest time at home, but then my husband chose a different path and I had to enter the workforce. Yes, I am competent…yes, there are positives to my job…but No, I am not “called” to work outside the home. I miss being a fulltime wife and mother every single day and know THAT is what God truly called me to do but circumstances didn’t allow it as a single Mom (not a title I ever wanted.) Fortunately, my younger two were old enough not to need daycare but I still feel like I have missed out (am missing out) on so much. This is my humble opinion and I will not begin to criticize those who have made other choices but I know I was called to be a wife and Mother first….sadly the world had other plans.
I am sorry, Michelle. Is there not any way there may be a possibility of God restoring your marriage? Your story is way too common in our day and age, even among Christians, sadly.
I also quit my career as a PT to stay home with my babies. I’m sure people think I’m crazy for giving up my career that I spent 8 years in college for! I know I am doing what God wants me to do.
Thank you so much for having the courage to stand against the the lies of Satan that Christians have bought into.
I am a 31-year-old woman. I cannot be sure what God said, because I wasn’t there. But if he “called” somebody to work (thus help “the economy” and giving their fragile children’s minds to be corrected by the government) I can pretty much draw the picture who this Vanessa thinks God is…
My mother stopped working outside our home after I was born. I am thankful she was there every day after school to help me with the homework, to give me advice about my friends, my boyfriends, my schoolmates, to go out in the afternoon and just take a walk or go shopping, or just be there – in the next room – willing to help, listen, comfort…
I am a single child and I needed my mother not only when I was a toddler, no! I needed her the most when I was a teenager, I needed her even when I was a university student, I need her even now. I am thankful to God she had the mental energy to be there for me, but this would be impossible if she went to work.
She is an intelectual, she has a very analytical mind, she is pretty, outgoing and was the coolest mom, according to my friends. Many men still find her attractive, but she has a high self-esteem and is not promiscuous. She is anything but boring. The boring ones were and still are the parents of my friends, who worked their whole life. They are narrow-minded slaves who kept doing repetitive and ponitless tasks for years.
Oh, I forgot sth important: every woman I know who is around my mother’s age and worked for decades looks 15 – 20 years older and, sorry to say it, much, much below her intelligence capacity.
What then should a mother do if her husband has messed up and she has no choice but to work outside the home? Even with a somewhat restored marriage, said mess up put us in great financial trouble that requires a second income. What should I do? I feel aweful after reading this article. I have stayed and not divorced him. I am doing my best to be there for my children. I teach Sunday school and have several ministries. I don’t know what else can be done!
I am the complete opposite of these women who are following their own desires. I want to stay home and be a wife and mother, but my husband of 11 years won’t let me. Ultimately God is in control of whether my husband lets me be a Mom and stay home or not, so I guess God has other plans for me. I have multiple sclerosis and still work full time and I’m turning 40 this year. Just praying God will allow me to be a stay at home Mom one day! Until then I will pray and wait hoping no matter what He has me doing I will bring Him glory above my own selfish desires.
I prayed for God to help you be a stay at home wife/mother to glorify Him
In Jesus Name
May God bless you
I stayed at home until right before my youngest started kindergarten. I had some bored days I will assure you, but now as a 62 year old woman I regret the time that I did go back to work because my youngest was still just a little boy and my oldest was in 4th grade. I wish to God I would have stayed at home with them until they were out of the home because I feel that I missed out on so much of their lives. I can’t hardly tell you a lot of memories that I made with them. I was deceived the worst possible way and I was robbed of the memories of my children growing up. Oh if I could just go back oh, I would have stayed home every single day with my sons and would have never ever been dragged out of that house it worked. Starvation only would have cost me to go out not boredom. We were definitely not financially well-off, and I could use the money we were broke many days when I wasn’t working. But we made it and we made wonderful memories during those times. When does the grew older, the memories have faded I have none. Sometimes when I’m around my children I will ask them what do you remember as a kid. Just so that I can share and part of their life. My advice to any young mother don’t let them drag you out of that house away from your children. Don’t be like me and have major regrets. Stay home with your children unless it’s a matter of life and death.
I feel the same.
I long to stay at home and spend more time with my kids. It is my sincere and earnest prayer point. The coronavirus just highlighted how much I long to be at home. Yet, I have also seen much blessings in being in the workplace and sharing the gospel with my unbelieving work colleagues and encouraging other Christian colleagues.
My husband also wants me to work and as the head of our family I will submit to his decision. He knows I long to stay at home. I will trust and wait upon God for Him to make this happen. I’m sure it will happen in His timing and be the best plan!
I pray that your situation will be solved with God’s best plan and that God will unite all women to help eachother and not criticise one another. We are one family in Christ and this is a broken world.