As godly women, we are not called to spend a lot of time and money adorning our outward appearance, but to adorn ourselves with a meek and quiet spirit, along with being in subjection unto our own husbands (1 Peter 3:4, 5). Have you seen a woman who doesn’t spend much time on her outward appearance but lives in subjection to her husband? I have and it’s a beautiful thing to watch. She is beautiful to her husband. She has learned to control her lusts and selfish ambitions and beautifies herself with something that has eternal value.
I was eager again to learn what commentaries had to say about adorning ourselves with a meek and quiet spirit since it should deeply motivate all of us to be this type of woman. Yes, I have done posts about this topic before but it’s good to be reminded over and over again about the splendid truths that are in God’s Word.
“Let it not be with you a matter of external ornamentation—elaborate processes, and costly, but perishable, decorations—but let it be a matter of the heart, the character, the true self, manifesting itself in a constant tone of unassuming and imperturbable sweetness—an imperishable attraction.”
How do we work on our heart and our character? We must spend time at Jesus’ feet in His Word; for we are told that we are transformed by renewing our minds with truth. This is how it happens, women! It won’t happen if all you do is listen to other women speaking/teaching. It won’t happen by reading any and all marriage books you can get your hands on. It won’t happen by trying harder. You must be in God’s Word daily; for it is living and active and will transform you!
“Of a calm temper; a contented mind; a heart free from passion, pride, envy, and irritability; a soul not subject to the agitations and vexations of those who live for fashion, and who seek to be distinguished for external adorning…and, in order to this, he recommends them, instead of seeking external ornaments, to seek those of the mind and of the heart, as more agreeable to their husbands.”
Most of us like to dress fashionable and look pretty. This consumes a lot of women’s time, money, and energy, especially in our culture but it’s not what has true value. People see our outward appearance for a moment but it’s our inward beauty and joy that they remember. Choose to be joyful and thankful; for a cheerful heart is good medicine (Proverbs 17:22)!
You may just learn to enjoy life’s many blessings as this 92 year old women did by living these five principles:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less and enjoy every moment.
“The decoration of the body is not all, nor is it the principal thing which husband desires. He desires primarily in his wife the more permanent adorning which pertains to the heart.” Yes, men do like their wives to look pretty since they are visual. Eating healthy and exercising actually makes a woman more beautiful than the makeup, hairstyle, and clothes she wears, in my opinion. I’m not sure men notice clothing as much as women think they do. Work on becoming as healthy and as fit as you can be, put on a bit of makeup and make sure your hair looks good, but then make sure you are feeding your soul daily since a meek and quiet spirit is always more beautiful to men than anything we can do for our outward appearance which fades quickly.
“A wife, therefore, if she would permanently please her husband, should seek the adorning of the soul rather than the body; the ornament of the heart rather than gold and jewels. The one can never be a substitute for the other; and whatever outward decorations she may have, unless she have a gentleness of spirit, a calmness of temper, a benevolence and purity of soul, and a cultivation of mind that her husband can love, she cannot calculate on his permanent affection.”
Do you want your husband to have a strong attraction to you? It’s not going to come from your outward appearance since an ugly attitude makes the outward beauty unattractive quickly. We must train and discipline ourselves for the purposes of godliness and remind ourselves that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us!
“Women who are more apt to be overmuch pleased with external dresses, and bodily ornaments, are exhorted rather to enrich and beautify their souls with Divine graces, than their bodies with gaudy clothes…by meekness may be meant gentleness, easiness and sweetness of spirit, in opposition to moroseness, frowardness, pride, passion, and by quietness, a peaceable, still, modest temper, in opposition to pragmaticalness, talkativeness, clamorousness.”
Gentleness. Easiness. Sweetness of spirit. What man wouldn’t want to live with a woman who had these beautiful qualities? All of our clothing, jewelry, perfume, shoes, purses, and everything else we decorate ourselves will one day burn but the impression we make on others , especially our husbands, will last forever!
“This grace of meekness, humility, and quietness, is a fruit of the Spirit, and so a part of the hidden woman, and is what is very ornamental to a believer; it is her clothing, her inward adorning, and what makes her lovely in the sight of God, and of her people.”
Let’s become hidden, godly women in our homes with our husbands. This is what the Lord has called us to do and this is what makes us lovely. Nothing this world has to offer makes us beautiful since beauty is only skin deep. True and lasting beauty comes from the spirit of a woman who loves the Lord and seeks to please Him in all that she does.
But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.
1 Peter 3:4